I wish this had timestamps. The gaps between communication were so infrequent and far in between. As I say in the transcript, it took 20 minutes to get told to go back to site.

Comcast transcript

CHAT ID: 049B5240-2F3A-4090-A849-78DB69240FAF
Problem: I would like to know more about X1 from Xfinity. How much does it cost? What do I need to do to get it?
Leones > Hello John, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Leones. Please give me one moment to review your information.
John > My Issue: I would like to know more about X1 from Xfinity. How much does it cost? What do I need to do to get it?
Leones > Happy New Year! I hope you haven't waited so long to be assisted and I hope you are having a great day.
John > thanks
John > I'd like to learn more about X1
John > how much does it cost?
John > what do I need to get it?
Leones > Thank you for your interest in getting X1 for your service.
John > hello?
Leones > I am here, John.
Leones > That’s a good question. Would you mind waiting for 2 minutes while I get that answer for you? I want to make sure I provide you with the correct information regarding X1?
John > ok
Leones > Thank you. Stay on the chat please. I'll be right back.
Leones > thank you for waiting. Sorry for the long delay.
John > no problem. what did you find out?
John > oh, are you still researching?
Leones > Yes, John. My apologies. I need to make sure that you have all the information that you need regarding X1.
Leones > Thank you for patiently waiting, John.
Leones > Here's what I found. XFINITY TV on the X1 Platform is a new XFINITY TV product that combines a vast library of traditional TV and OnDemand programming with additional content and features. With the X1 Platform, you can enjoy seamless access to live TV, XFINITY® On Demand, DVR recordings, video clips, Pandora®, weather, traffic applications and more.
Leones > Please visit the X1 Platform Portal at http://xfinity.comcast.net/x1/.
John > that's how I got here
John > http://screencast.com/t/FnpoRoYJcM1
Leones > Then click on the FAQ from this link - http://xfinity.comcast.net/x1/faq/
John > I am very unimpressed
John > hello?
Leones > Yes, still here.
Leones > X1 is a Triple Play product. You must subscribe to an eligible HD/SD Triple Play Bundle.
Leones > It is only available on the following devices: PX001ANM (with XR2 remote) PX001ANC(with XR2 remote) PCRNG210N (with Tracer remote) PR150BNM (with XR2 remote) PR150BNC (with XR2 remote)
Leones > Please take note that the service is not available on Motorola, SA, DTAs, or any other set top boxes at this time.
John > I'm sorry if this is rude, but I'm very upset at this service
John > you are just stating facts, without any guidance
John > "you need this"
John > the logical follow up is either "how do I get it?" or "can you help me with that?"
John > I would like to know what it costs and if I can get it
John > and, depending on what you say, I might buy it
John > now
John > can you get me to someone who can help with any of those 3 questions
John > preferably all 3
Leones > I understand how you feel about this.
Leones > John, I will just go ahead and check if this product is available in your area.
John > Yes. Question 2 from "My Issue" 20 minutes ago
Leones > My apologies, John.
Leones > May I have one to two minutes while I look into this for you?
John > I must be in the wrong place
John > where is the "I wanna pay money place"
John > can you connect me with someone there
John > seriously
John > not trying to be a jerk
John > I need to talk to someone else
Leones > I understand, John. I will now connect you to our Sales Department. Please take note that they will still have to check the available promotions and corresponding eligibility. They can also recommend other options for you. Please stay online and an analyst will take care of your concern. Thank you.
Leones > Are there any other issues that I can address before I transfer this chat?
John > no, thank you
Leones > Please stay connected to the chat for the next available representative. Thank you for choosing Comcast for your entertainment needs.
Leones > Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst
John > My Issue: I would like to know more about X1 from Xfinity. How much does it cost? What do I need to do to get it?
Mishelle > Hi John! Welcome to the Comcast Chat Sales Department! I really appreciate the time you are taking to contact us. I will be assisting you throughout our conversation until we finish your request. How are you doing?
John > kinda stressed. I'm 25+ minutes into this chat with no answers. Mind if we keep it succinct?
John > I would like to learn more about X1
Mishelle > I will be glad to assist you with that.
John > I would like to know if it's available in my area (94608)
John > and how much it costs
John > and if any new equipment is required
Mishelle > Yes you will need a new equipment. I am currently checking if it is available for your address and how much will it cost.
Mishelle > As I pull up your account, I just want to share with you our Customer Gurantee. We are committed to providing our customers with a consistently superior customer experience. If for any reason something goes wrong, we will work to resolve the issue quickly and as professionally as we can. To know more about this, you may access this link, http://www.comcast.com/Corporate/Customers/CustomerGuarantee.html
Mishelle > X1 is available in your area.
Mishelle > I just need the monthly rate for it.
Mishelle > John, with your current package, X1 is at no extra cost.
Mishelle > You may exchange your box at the local office or I can schedule a technician to replace your box for $34.99.
Mishelle > Are you still with me?
John > yes
John > All I have to do is go to the local office?
John > and just get a new box?
Mishelle > Yes. Bring your current box to exchange it.
John > OK, terrific
John > thank you
Mishelle > You're welcome.
Mishelle > I am glad I was able to answer and provide you the necessary information for your questions/inquiry for today. Would there be any other COMCAST related concerns or questions we can assist you with?
John > no, thank you
Mishelle > You're welcome.
Mishelle > This should completely resolve your issue and there should be no more additional steps needed.
Mishelle > I would highly appreciate if you can participate in our surveys when you click on the "EXIT CHAT" button after we end this chat today and by submitting it through clicking the "SUBMIT THIS SURVEY" button.
Mishelle > Thank you for your time and patience and for choosing Comcast as your entertainment needs! Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/corporate/Customers/CustomerGuarantee.html?fss=customer guarantee
Mishelle > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

please see starting timestamp versus ending. their "customer service" really is the worst. i've found you have to go through twitter (@comcastcares) to get anything accomplished

chat id : 63fdc2dd-0cf6-44ee-994d-464827af3d05
Problem : Order Information

jared(Wed Jun 30 2010 14:59:25 GMT-0400 (EST))> Jared > Order Information 
Rino > Hello Jared_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Rino. Please give me one moment to review your information. 
Rino > Welcome to COMCAST! You have reached the Order fulfillment department. We appreciate your time and interest in signing up with Comcast. I will be happy to complete your order today. 

Rino > A pleasant day to you. How are you doing, Jared? 
Rino > Are we still connected, Jared? 
Jared > yes 
Rino > I apologize Jared our system is currently upgrading so i dont have your order information. May I ask for the following information: name, service address, phone number, email address and the services that you need.

Jared > name=jared laser, service address=**** ***** street arlington va 22202, phone number= 757******, email address = ******@gmail.com 
Rino > How about the services that you ordered online, Jared? 
Rino > Thank you so much. 
Rino > I do apologize for the inconvenience. 
Jared > yeah this is pretty awful, let me go back and check it out 
Jared >      
Digital Preferred with Comcast Unlimited¨ - Special Offer

Jared >  $79.99  per month 
for the first 6 months
$117.10 per month after promotional period(s)

Jared > we have our own modem and the house is wired 
Jared > i'd actually be pretty thrilled if i could just have service activated instead of having to wait on a tech to come out and plug our modem in to the coax, i'm not sure if that's doable

Rino >  
Could you please verify if are you a new customer or existing customer?

Jared > new customer 
Rino > Jared, self Installation is not allowed to all new customers because the wirings need to be installed and activated and only our technician can definitely do that for us. This is to make sure that the services will be working properly and that we provide you an excellent customer experience with Comcast. 

Jared > ha. ha 
Jared > the house has existing customers living there 
Jared > the wirings are all installed 
Jared > they're using comcast modem, it's just a matter of switching the account 
Rino > You said a while ago that you are a new customer that means we need to create an account under your name, Jared. 
Jared > and it's a little frustrating that i'm paying $35 to have a tech come out and plug a coax cable into a modem 
Jared > right, i need the account but the hardware is in place 
Rino > I do apologize but self installation is not allowed. It is our company policy that we need to have professional installation for new customer. I hope you understand.

Jared > last tech i saw install a modem (showing up 5 hours late) told us that the previous tech hadn't shown up because they drive by when they're feeling lazy. requiring one of these "professionals" seems absurd

Jared > and then said tech pulled the modem out of the box, plugged it in, and left 
Jared > i mean i understand you don't make the policy, rino, it's just frustrating 
Jared > but anyhow 
Jared > july 11th 
Jared > 9-12am 
Jared > hopefully they'll come sometime before midnight 
Rino > I'm so sorry about that, Jared.  
Rino > I would like to set up an account for you. Do I have the permission to do so? 
Jared > yeah, go for it 
Rino > I would need to verify the information that you entered in order for me to set up an account for you. Please check and confirm if the following information are correct:

Rino > name=jared laser 
service address=**** ***** street arlington va 22202

phone number= 757******

email address = *****@gmail.com

Rino > Kindly verify if this information is correct. 
Rino > Can you please verify your phone number, Jared. 
Jared > yes, it's all correct 
Jared > sorry, double tasking here @ work 
Rino > I understand. 
Rino > Can you please verify your phone number you gave me, Jared. 
Jared > yes 
Jared > it's correct 
Rino >  
Please give me 1 minutes to pull up your address and check for the serviceability of our products.


Rino > Thank you for patiently waiting. 
Rino > I found your address and in order to process your Order we need to run a credit check on your account I will need your full Social Security number to go ahead with this, is that OK?

I can assure you that our chat is secured and whatever information we soilicit from our customer we keep it confidential.

Jared > there's gotta be another option 
Rino > No worries! You can actually give me your Driver's license. 
Jared > great 
Jared > ***-**-**** 
Rino > Is your DL  ***-**-****, is this correct? 
Jared > yes 
Rino > Thank you. 
Rino > I understand that you want our Digital Preferred with Comcast Unlimited¨ - Special Offer for 79.99/month for 6 months, is this correct? 
Jared > yes 
Rino > Thank you. I will process it now. 
Jared > lovely 
Rino > Would you like to have a new Comcast phone number? 
Jared > no 
Rino > okay. 
Rino > While I am processing your order, please fill out this form ww.comcast.com/e911form. This will serve as a confirmation that you are choosing Comcast as your local and long distance phone provider. Please complete all blanks on the form or the form will be considered invalid. 

Jared > i'm not choosing comcast as local and long distance provider 
Jared > i want them for internet/tv 
Jared > no phont 
Jared > phone* 
Rino > I do apologize but you gave me earlier the info that you want Digital Preferred with Comcast Unlimited¨ - Special Offer 
Jared > ah geez 
Jared > Digital Starter with Performance - Special Offer 
Jared > was what i was looking for 
Jared > sorry about that 
Rino > No worries! I will process the Digital Preferred with performance internet for 79.99/month for 6 months., is it okay? 
Jared > er 
Jared > i screwed up again 
Jared > you're right 
Jared >  
Digital Preferred with Performance - Special Offer

Rino > Perfcet! 
Rino > I will now process your order. 
Jared > thanks 
Rino > May I ask you to provide me the following information that are necessary to set up this account: 1) Nearest street intersection to your house; 2) Primary and secondary contact numbers for the technician to call - 15 minutes before the installation.

Jared > nearest street interestion = s. **th & eads st 
Jared > 2) jared - 757****** or john - 804****** 
Rino > Thank you for the additional information you provided me. 
Rino > By the way, the preferred with performance internet special offer is not available in your area. However the price of this bundle in your area that I processed is 82.47 not included the install charges. Will this be okay to you?

Jared > if that's not offered, what am i getting? 
Rino > The promotions we have online Jared really depends on the market.  
Jared > right i understand that 
Jared > but what service will i get if that service bundle isn't available 
Rino > Still the same, the Digital Preferred cable and the performance Internet. 
Jared > but just for more money? 
Rino > But the price is not 79.99, it's for 82.47. 
Jared > what is it after 6 months 
Jared > are we still connected? 
Jared > what is the price for that package after a six month period? 
Jared > does it stay at $82.47? 
Rino > i'm so sorry for the delay. 
Jared > rino come on man don't leave me hanging, i thought i was going to have to do this all over again 
Jared > phew 
Rino > I'm so sorry I double checked my system. 
Rino > Actually, you have the option to have a Digital starter with performance internet for 66.00/month if you want. 
Jared > no we want the digital preferred cable and performance internet 
Jared > i just want to know if the price increases after 6months 
Jared > from 82.47 to something else 
Rino > I double checked my system, we do have here the Digital starter with performance. You can actually upgrade that into Digitla performance by adding 16.95. That would give you Digital Preferred With performance Internet for 87.95/month for 6 months.

Rino > And after 6 months it will be 130.35. 
Jared > so we don't have the $82.47 option? 
Rino > I'm sorry but its 87.95, Jared. 
Jared > ok, i'm checking with my roommate to see if that will fly. 
Rino > Okay, Jared. 
Jared > any idea what the tax is on that? 
Rino > I don't have it on my system, Im sorry. 
Jared > no worries 
Jared > let's go for it 
Rino > Great! 
Jared > comcast wins again! 
Rino > Thank you. 
Rino > We are almost done. 
Rino > Please give me few more minutes. 
Jared > sure! please tell whoever you need how thrilled i am to have spent over and hour dealing with this (i don't blame you at all, this is just an insane process) 
Rino > I understand how you feel, Jared. 
Rino > I'm so sorry for that. 
Rino > For your install date and time. The soonest I have here is on July 15. 
Rino > Between 2-5 pm. Will this be okay to you? 
Jared > yeah that's fine, can you change the primary contact number then to the one i specified above for "john?" 804-***-**** 
Rino > Perfect! Let me reserve that date and time for you then. 
Rino > Okay, I will. 
Jared > thanks 
Rino > Jared, I do apologize but upon clicking the finish button with your order, the system will not allow me to push through. 
Jared > you have got to be kidding 
Rino > I'm so sorry but I cannot finish processing your order. 
Jared > uh so what do i do? 
Rino > You need to verify your I.D at the nearest local office first. 
Rino > No worries! you can actually place your order at your local office. 
Rino > They can actually schedule the soonest available installation date for you. 
Rino > I't took us an hour processing your order but then the system will not allow me to finish it. 
Rino > I really do apologize for that. 
Jared > wow 
Rino > I would be very happy to complete your order in my end and I am also upset that the system will not allow me. 
Jared > i'm sure 
Jared > thanks anyways 
Rino > I'm really sorry. 
Rino > Is there anything else that I can assist you with? 
Jared > no 
Jared > have a good day 
Rino > Thank you for choosing Comcast and have a great day! By the way, if you want to watch full TV shows and movies online? Go to www.fancast.com. 

I hope you could help mYe out on this. May I request that after this chat, click on the "END CHAT SESSION" button instead of "X" and fill out the survey form. Thank you for your cooperation.


Rino > Have a nice day ahead! 
God bless you and your family.

Rino > Bye for now, Jared. 
 Rino(Wed Jun 30 2010 16:22:00 GMT-0400 (EST))>

Analyst has closed chat and left the room