Last active
September 9, 2016 16:36
-
-
Save wboykinm/4fd3916c5c142a4adaeaca072832204e to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
This file contains bidirectional Unicode text that may be interpreted or compiled differently than what appears below. To review, open the file in an editor that reveals hidden Unicode characters.
Learn more about bidirectional Unicode characters
| <!DOCTYPE html> | |
| <html> | |
| <head> | |
| <title>Anti-bike rant made easy</title> | |
| <link href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootswatch/3.3.7/superhero/bootstrap.min.css" rel="stylesheet" crossorigin="anonymous"> | |
| <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/bootstrap-select/1.11.0/css/bootstrap-select.min.css"> | |
| </head> | |
| <body> | |
| <style> | |
| .cyoa { | |
| line-height:50px; | |
| } | |
| </style> | |
| <div class="container"> | |
| <div class="row"> | |
| <div class="col-md-8 col-md-offset-2"> | |
| <div class="jumbotron"> | |
| <h3>How to Write an Anti-Bike Commentary for #BTV, Without the Nuisance of Actual Thought</h3> | |
| <h4>Adapted from <a href= | |
| "http://www.chicagomag.com/city-life/September-2016/bleep-bloop-machine-learning-bleep-bloop/" | |
| target="_blank">Luke Seeman's Chicago woes</a></h4> | |
| </div> | |
| <p class="cyoa">Let me tell you, cyclists are such <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| whiny babies | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| latte-sipping, Lycra-wearing libtards | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| scofflaws | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| little bike people | |
| </option> | |
| </select>. This one time I drove into Downtown Burlington from my home in <select class= | |
| "selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| Shelburne | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| St. Albans | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| Colchester | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| South Colchester/NNE | |
| </option> | |
| </select> and I saw someone on a bike <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| not wearing a helmet or clean underwear | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| run a stop sign | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| almost graze a jaywalker | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| park for free | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| surprise an inattentive driver | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| flip me off after I endangered her life | |
| </option> | |
| </select>. It made me feel so <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| mad | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| entitled | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| old | |
| </option> | |
| </select>! Bikes aren’t like cars, which <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| totally pay their share of costs | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| never speed | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| ALWAYS stop at stop signs | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| never hurt anyone, ever | |
| </option> | |
| </select>, so it’s just not fair that <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| bike infrastructure receives public funds | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| drivers that maim cyclists have to pay a small fine | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| 37 hipsters can fit their bikes in the spot where I’d like to park my car | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| I’m expected to slow down once in awhile | |
| </option> | |
| </select>. Therefore bikes should be <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| run off the road | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| licensed like cars | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| taxed into oblivion | |
| </option> | |
| </select>. This will surely bring an end to all those times <select class= | |
| "selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| cyclists injure drivers | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| I see someone having more fun than me | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| I have my commute impeded | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| I feel old | |
| </option> | |
| </select>. Anyone who disagrees is probably just <select class="selectpicker"> | |
| <option> | |
| – CHOOSE ONE – | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| a millennial | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| a flatlander | |
| </option> | |
| <option> | |
| a millennial flatlander | |
| </option> | |
| </select>.</p> | |
| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| <script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/2.2.4/jquery.min.js"></script> | |
| <script src="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/js/bootstrap.min.js" integrity="sha384-Tc5IQib027qvyjSMfHjOMaLkfuWVxZxUPnCJA7l2mCWNIpG9mGCD8wGNIcPD7Txa" crossorigin="anonymous"></script> | |
| <script src="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/bootstrap-select/1.11.0/js/bootstrap-select.min.js"></script> | |
| <script> | |
| $('.selectpicker').selectpicker({ | |
| style: 'btn-primary', | |
| size: 4 | |
| }); | |
| </script> | |
| </body> | |
| </html> |
Sign up for free
to join this conversation on GitHub.
Already have an account?
Sign in to comment