Messing around and using AWS Lambda wrong. These are the settings I got working in the end. I'm tired, and almost definitely using Whitenoise wrong

settings.py

MIDDLEWARE = [
    'django.middleware.security.SecurityMiddleware',
    
    # new
    'whitenoise.middleware.WhiteNoiseMiddleware',
    
    
    'django.contrib.sessions.middleware.SessionMiddleware',
    'django.middleware.common.CommonMiddleware',
    'django.middleware.csrf.CsrfViewMiddleware',
    'django.contrib.auth.middleware.AuthenticationMiddleware',
    'django.contrib.messages.middleware.MessageMiddleware',
    'django.middleware.clickjacking.XFrameOptionsMiddleware',
]



# Static files (CSS, JavaScript, Images)
# https://docs.djangoproject.com/en/1.10/howto/static-files/

STATIC_URL = 'https://blablabla.execute-api.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/dev/static'

urls.py

# at the top:

import os
from django.conf import settings
from django.conf.urls.static import static
from django.contrib.staticfiles.urls import staticfiles_urlpatterns


### your UrlConf as usual


HACKISH_DOC_ROOT = os.path.join(settings.BASE_DIR, 'staticfiles')

# Serve static and media files from development server
urlpatterns += staticfiles_urlpatterns()
urlpatterns += static('static', document_root=HACKISH_STATIC_FILES_DIR)

wsgi.py

"""
WSGI config for my_site project.

It exposes the WSGI callable as a module-level variable named ``application``.

For more information on this file, see
https://docs.djangoproject.com/en/1.10/howto/deployment/wsgi/
"""

import os

from django.core.wsgi import get_wsgi_application
from whitenoise.django import DjangoWhiteNoise

os.environ.setdefault("DJANGO_SETTINGS_MODULE", "my_site.settings")

application = get_wsgi_application()

# Wrap the application, so Whitenoise serves static first
application = DjangoWhiteNoise(application)