The best admin script

aprilfool.pl

#!/usr/bin/perl
# use strict;
# use warnings;
use List::Util qw(shuffle);
use IO::Handle ();
use IO::File ();
use Net::Address::IP::Local;
$|=1;
$count = 0;
$pid = $$;
$directory = "/srv/www/anims";
$range = 8;
$path = "/var/www/32mars";
$ip = Net::Address::IP::Local->public_ipv4;

my @A=("http://i.imgur.com/mCgzzw9.png", "http://i.imgur.com/ujh7P7X.png", "http://i.imgur.com/oum62ub.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/ePGqSWW.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/4sgjp8u.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/GsKiHVu.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/uIzRzbo.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/g59MVef.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/i3MbmkK.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/kVWRSjn.png", "http://i.imgur.com/5OI86q1.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/4rpigeB.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/jVevHU6.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/WcpalcH.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/FbC0d7d.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/25WxmBR.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/SQycOqr.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/PUqwtRD.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/0e4fSA8.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/LVx6auV.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/isuKRBR.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/eCZVUx0.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/Sk6jfhz.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/6XwjV8q.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/ipMKWPk.png", "http://i.imgur.com/67QU68J.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/Xvsfffe.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/Eyqx4yY.png", "http://i.imgur.com/0miQ5FO.png", "http://i.imgur.com/4qxRS73.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/5gGgFya.png", "http://i.imgur.com/jU3xkXz.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/WGlnflZ.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/JnjrpCi.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/dNGLYyf.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/FhDFXSf.png", "http://i.imgur.com/fTyh2Qh.png", "http://i.imgur.com/MPkaXGJ.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/3xtYoON.png", "http://i.imgur.com/n9mxcFp.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/dP5wFvV.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/IMbL8jB.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/avTN2nc.png", "http://i.imgur.com/oumSF2p.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/x5QG64j.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/iVhOi2W.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/wdu2G9F.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/8pPauHn.png", "http://i.imgur.com/DWzyNqq.png", "http://i.imgur.com/ghvZrPp.png", "http://i.imgur.com/qbuKQXM.png", "http://i.imgur.com/OdmbM9n.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/JmWeiTe.png", "http://i.imgur.com/vf35Sfh.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/NeISnza.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/bbfLZRd.png", "http://i.imgur.com/rKuiRrV.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/xyEh83E.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/o9OOxKU.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/eXXCQhv.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/M8btj8i.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/ezAVbvq.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/DG4mxWu.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/DrJFnkb.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/uMEOSiF.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/tZLZb3v.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/tUPqoC0.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/4IeAo69.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/O3BGbvk.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/Y2pbgz3.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/4MLoZ3R.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/uA9YpVf.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/4VLq9YG.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/OEdNm48.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/zesUs7Y.png", "http://i.imgur.com/JFyXDNT.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/CV53dLk.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/nWwAPFz.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/uwMimBf.png", "http://i.imgur.com/4fkFrHE.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/BHkryNV.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/C8vP0dY.png", "http://i.imgur.com/2gikmtP.png", "http://i.imgur.com/ikmwtn7.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/fVV7X5k.png", "http://i.imgur.com/g6nXyqd.png", "http://i.imgur.com/1m9aEyZ.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/y79zNjE.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/l5wCimo.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/ea7eP4C.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/zydHViQ.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/vkLjTG8.gif", "http://i.imgur.com/XFg9Kq4.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/T0bszpc.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/sxdZwS3.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/kjF0YNr.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/MmPTrgS.png", "http://i.imgur.com/LCejdPT.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/hXl4idh.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/5lgEJ4b.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/jnW8yhn.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/BHHvJcQ.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/oXwPFzW.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/Z8yeJR6.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/Pg4up2Z.png", "http://i.imgur.com/f4Nfls2.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/PQXkCEs.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/6vPG15l.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/fK4nYrI.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/NazaTc0.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/P4Qbron.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/3KtLvSR.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/CqwEwjN.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/ESrE2zS.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/9l2Aeuz.gifv", "http://i.imgur.com/9PJTpme.png", "http://i.imgur.com/on0Ngo9.jpg", "http://i.imgur.com/RdmpCTn.jpg");
my @B=("1.swf", "10.swf", "100.swf", "101.swf", "102.swf", "103.swf", "104.swf", "105.swf", "106.swf", "107.swf", "108.swf", "109.swf", "11.swf", "110.swf", "111.swf", "112.swf", "113.swf", "114.swf", "115.swf", "116.swf", "117.swf", "119.swf", "12.swf", "120.swf", "121.swf", "122.swf", "123.swf", "124.swf", "125.swf", "127.swf", "128.swf", "129.swf", "13.swf", "130.swf", "131.swf", "132.swf", "133.swf", "134.swf", "135.swf", "136.swf", "137.swf", "138.swf", "139.swf", "14.swf", "140.swf", "141.swf", "142.swf", "143.swf", "144.swf", "145.swf", "146.swf", "147.swf", "148.swf", "15.swf", "16.swf", "17.swf", "18.swf", "19.swf", "2.swf", "20.swf", "21.swf", "22.swf", "24.swf", "25.swf", "26.swf", "27.swf", "28.swf", "29.swf", "3.swf", "30.swf", "31.swf", "32.swf", "33.swf", "34.swf", "35.swf", "36.swf", "37.swf", "38.swf", "39.swf", "40.swf", "41.swf", "42.swf", "43.swf", "44.swf", "46.swf", "47.swf", "48.swf", "49.swf", "5.swf", "50.swf", "51.swf", "52.swf", "53.swf", "54.swf", "55.swf", "56.swf", "57.swf", "58.swf", "59.swf", "6.swf", "60.swf", "61.swf", "62.swf", "63.swf", "64.swf", "65.swf", "66.swf", "67.swf", "68.swf", "69.swf", "7.swf", "70.swf", "71.swf", "72.swf", "73.swf", "74.swf", "75.swf", "76.swf", "77.swf", "78.swf", "79.swf", "8.swf", "80.swf", "81.swf", "82.swf", "83.swf", "84.swf", "85.swf", "86.swf", "87.swf", "88.swf", "89.swf", "9.swf", "90.swf", "91.swf", "92.swf", "93.swf", "94.swf", "95.swf", "96.swf", "97.swf", "98.swf", "99.swf", "Epic wtf guy squid 1.swf", "LAHAINE.swf", "MCSolaart.swf", "Remix tuto.swf");
while (<>) {
        chomp $_;
        @X = split;
        $url = $X[1];
        if ($url =~ /(.*\.css)/i) {
                if ($url =~ /(.*$ip.*)/i) {
                        print $X[0]." ERR url=".$X[1]."\n";
                }
                else {
                        system("/usr/bin/wget", "-q", "-O","$path/css/$pid-$count.css", "$url");
                        # my $alea = int(rand($range));
                        # my $alea = 1;
                        ($second, $minute) = localtime();
                        my $alea = $minute%8;
                        open(my $fh, '>>', "$path/css/$pid-$count.css") or die;

                        # -------------------------------------------------------------- #
                        # And this where the magic happens (and the Internet gets drunk)
                        # -------------------------------------------------------------- #

                        print $fh "\n*{\nfont-family: Comic Sans MS !important;\ncursor: wait !important;\n}";
                        # alea = 1 -> translation
                        # alea = 2 -> WOW
                        # alea = 3 -> blink
                        # alea = 4 -> rotate on hover
                        # alea = 5 -> Whouuu
                        # alea = 6 -> EDIMS
                        # alea = 7 -> "Go home Internet you're drunk" (blur + tilt)
                        if ($alea == 0) {
                                # Do nothing (except Comic Sans MS and wait cursor)
                        } elsif ($alea == 1) {
                                print $fh '*{-webkit-transition:.1s ease-in-out;transition:.1s ease-in-out}*:hover:nth-child(3n){-webkit-transform:translate(4em,2em);-ms-transform:translate(4em,2em);transform:translate(4em,2em)}*:hover:nth-child(3n+1){-webkit-transform:translate(-3em,-1em);-ms-transform:translate(-3em,-1em);transform:translate(-3em,-1em)}*:hover:nth-child(3n+2){-webkit-transform:translate(5em,-3em);-ms-transform:translate(5em,-3em);transform:translate(5em,-3em)}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 2) {
                                print $fh '*:last-child{background:-webkit-linear-gradient(90deg,yellow,blue,yellow);background:linear-gradient(90deg,yellow,blue,yellow);background-size:15% 1000%;-webkit-animation:wow 5s infinite;animation:wow 5s infinite;-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;text-fill-color:transparent;background-clip:text}@-webkit-keyframes wow{0%{background-position:0 50%}50%{background-position:50% 100%}100%{background-position:100% 0}}@keyframes wow{0%{background-position:0 50%}50%{background-position:50% 100%}100%{background-position:100% 0}}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 3) {
                                print $fh '*{-webkit-transition:.1s ease-in-out;transition:.1s ease-in-out}@-webkit-keyframes blinker{0%{opacity:.9;filter:alpha(opacity=90)}50%{opacity:.3;filter:alpha(opacity=30)}100%{opacity:.9;filter:alpha(opacity=90)}}@keyframes blinker{0%{opacity:.9;filter:alpha(opacity=90)}50%{opacity:.3;filter:alpha(opacity=30)}100%{opacity:.9;filter:alpha(opacity=90)}}*:nth-child(3n){-webkit-animation-name:blinker;animation-name:blinker;-webkit-animation-duration:.3s;animation-duration:.3s;-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite}*:nth-child(3n+1){-webkit-animation-name:blinker;animation-name:blinker;-webkit-animation-duration:.5s;animation-duration:.5s;-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite}*:nth-child(3n+2){-webkit-animation-name:blinker;animation-name:blinker;-webkit-animation-duration:.7s;animation-duration:.7s;-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 4) {
                                print $fh '*:hover:nth-child(3n){-webkit-transform:rotateZ(4deg);transform:rotateZ(4deg)}*:hover:nth-child(3n+1){-webkit-transform:rotateZ(-6deg);transform:rotateZ(-6deg)}*:hover:nth-child(3n+2){-webkit-transform:rotateZ(2deg);transform:rotateZ(2deg)}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 5) {
                                print $fh '@-webkit-keyframes Whouuu{0%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(0deg);transform:rotateZ(0deg)}45%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(360deg);transform:rotateZ(360deg)}55%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(360deg);transform:rotateZ(360deg)}80%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(0deg);transform:rotateZ(0deg)}}@keyframes Whouuu{0%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(0deg);transform:rotateZ(0deg)}45%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(360deg);transform:rotateZ(360deg)}55%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(360deg);transform:rotateZ(360deg)}80%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(0deg);transform:rotateZ(0deg)}}*:last-child{-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;-webkit-animation-name:Whouuu;animation-name:Whouuu;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite;-webkit-animation-duration:20s;animation-duration:20s;-webkit-animation-delay:1s;animation-delay:1s}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 6) {
                                print $fh '@-webkit-keyframes EDIMS{0%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}25%{-webkit-transform:scale(1.1,1.1);transform:scale(1.1,1.1)}50%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}75%{-webkit-transform:scale(.9,.9);transform:scale(.9,.9)}100%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}}@keyframes EDIMS{0%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}25%{-webkit-transform:scale(1.1,1.1);transform:scale(1.1,1.1)}50%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}75%{-webkit-transform:scale(.9,.9);transform:scale(.9,.9)}100%{-webkit-transform:scale(1,1);transform:scale(1,1)}}*:hover{-webkit-animation-name:EDIMS;animation-name:EDIMS;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite;-webkit-animation-duration:5s;animation-duration:5s}';
                        } elsif ($alea == 7) {
                                print $fh '@-webkit-keyframes GHIYD{0%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(-2deg);transform:rotateZ(-2deg)}48%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(2deg);transform:rotateZ(2deg)}52%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(2deg);transform:rotateZ(2deg)}100%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(-2deg);transform:rotateZ(-2deg)}}@keyframes GHIYD{0%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(-2deg);transform:rotateZ(-2deg)}48%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(2deg);transform:rotateZ(2deg)}52%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(2deg);transform:rotateZ(2deg)}100%{-webkit-transform:rotateZ(-2deg);transform:rotateZ(-2deg)}}*:last-child{-webkit-animation-timing-function:linear;animation-timing-function:linear;-webkit-animation-name:GHIYD;animation-name:GHIYD;-webkit-animation-iteration-count:infinite;animation-iteration-count:infinite;-webkit-animation-duration:20s;animation-duration:20s;-webkit-animation-delay:1s;animation-delay:1s}*{filter:url(\'data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><filter id="filter"><feGaussianBlur stdDeviation="0.5" /></filter></svg>#filter\');-webkit-filter:blur(.5px);filter:blur(.5px)}';
                        }

                        system("/bin/chmod", "777", "$path/css/$pid-$count.css");
                        print $X[0]." OK url=http://$ip/css/$pid-$count.css\n";
                }
        }

         elsif ($url =~ /(.*\.swf)/i) {
               $url = $1;
              if ($url =~ /(.*172.30.0.225.*)/i) {
                      print "$url\n";
               }
               else {
                       $swf=$B[rand @B];

                       print $X[0]." OK url=http://172.30.0.225/anims/$swf\n";
               }
         }


        elsif ($url =~ /(.*\.wasalille.fr)/i) {
        #         $url = $1;
        #         print "http://eclip4.ec-lille.fr\n";
                if (($url =~ /(.*\.jpg)/i) || ($url =~ /(.*\.png)/i)) {
                        print $X[0]." OK url=http://$ip/images/border.jpg\n";
                }
        }

        elsif ($url =~ /(.*\.borderlille.com.*)/i) {
                # $url = $1;
                # print "http://eclip4.ec-lille.fr\n";
                if (($url =~ /(.*\.jpg)/i) || ($url =~ /(.*\.png)/i)) {
                        print $X[0]." OK url=http://$ip/images/sky.jpg\n";
                }
        }
        elsif ($url =~ /(.*\.skylille.com.*)/i) {
        #         $url = $1;
        #         print "http://eclip4.ec-lille.fr\n";
                if (($url =~ /(.*\.jpg)/i) || ($url =~ /(.*\.png)/i)) {
                        print $X[0]." OK url=http://$ip/images/wasa.jpg\n";
                }
        }

        elsif (!( grep( /^$url$/, @A ) )&& (($url=~ /(.*\.jpg)/i) || ($url=~ /(.*\.png)/i) || ($url=~ /(.\.gif)/i) || ($url=~ /(.\.gifv)/i))) {
                $img=$A[rand @A];

                print $X[0]." OK url=$img\n";
                }



        else {
                print $X[0]." ERR url=".$X[1]."\n";
        }
        $count++;
}