obfuscated program (safe). uses cheddar, ruby, J, node JS, and batch

readme.MD

Call like main in your console. This will install cheddar for you if you don't have it already.

a.js

W=[_=global,$=(f,g)=>g].fill((![p={toString:()=>"*"}])[
q="constructor"][i=0,r="name"]).map(e=>e[i++]).join``+(
e=($+[])[--i]).repeat(-(-6>>>++i<<i++)>>2)+r[i]+"&"+p+(
[]+[][q])[~-(--i<<4)]+r[-~i--]+e+r[--i]+"+'";9350608244
.toString(30).split``.map(e=>s+=e,s="");_[s][[Math.log]
.map(e=>e(3)<3?e.name:e).join`0xasde24`](W.replace(/e/g
,"$&x").replace(/x/,""));

ic.rb

dest_version = "v1.0.0-beta.49"
begin
    version = `cheddar -v`.chomp
    throw "incompatible version" unless version == dest_version
rescue
    `npm install -g cheddar-lang@#{dest_version}`
end
puts "echo 'var s=\"6563686f20753a3130287e3a2f262e233a402c29222b3320753a7368656c6c276e6f646520612e6a73270a657869742030\";',LF,'print (|>(s.len/2)).map(e->\"0x\"+s.slice(e*2,e*2+2)).map((@\")+(Number&(::))).fuse'"

main.bat

@ECHO OFF
ruby ic.rb|jconsole|cheddar>a.ijs
a.ijs|ruby -e"puts$stdin.gets.chomp.chop"
DEL a.ijs