bahhumbug.user.js

// ==UserScript==
// @name Bah humbug
// @description Disable the php.net 2014-04-01 scripts
// @version 1.0
// @author DaveRandom
// @namespace https://github.com/DaveRandom
// @match *://php.net/*
// @match *://*.php.net/*
// ==/UserScript==

(function (f) {
    var el = document.createElement("script");
    el.appendChild(document.createTextNode('(' + f + '());'));
    document.body.appendChild(el);
}(function() {
    window.setTimeout(function() { 
        window.fixTimeout = function() {};
        window.fixEdges = function() {};
    }, 500);
}));