The Hello World of the future

helloWorld.js

/*
 * The Hello World of tomorrow
 *   Copyright (C) 2012  Scruffy
 *
 *  This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 *  it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 *  the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 *  (at your option) any later version.
 *
 *  This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 *  but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 *  MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the
 *  GNU General Public License for more details.
 *
 *  You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 *  along with this program.  If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>.
 */

/*
  Hi! My name is Mr. Tiddles. I come from QA!
  So it is my job to tell you that YOU SUCK
  WHY ARE THERE NO UNIT TESTS?
  WHY IS YOUR AGILE DRAWING BOARD BLANK!?
  BLANK I TELL YOU!
  YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKING TURDWAT
  I GIVE AWAY MY LIFE TO GIVE YOU AGILE CARDS, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?
  FUCK YOU
  I DON'T WANT YOUR LAPDANCES

  <3,
    Mr. Tiddles
*/

/**
   @author Scruffy (I'm the janitor)
   @description The enterprise solution to your SentenceFactory needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @arg expr an array of expressions
   @return the constructed object
*/
function SentenceFactory
(
	//the exprs
	exprs
)
{
	//set this.exprs = exprs
	this.exprs = exprs;
}

SentenceFactory.prototype =
{
	set : function
	(
		//the exprs
		exprs
	)
	{
		//set this.exprs = exprs
		this.exprs = exprs;
	},

	/**
	   @author Scruffy (Life goes on, but I believe we'll forever carry the pain
	   on the inside)
	   @description The enterprise solution to your SentenceFactory.prototype.produce needs!
	   @date 16.8.2012
	   @arg wordSeparator a word separator
	   @return a sentence
	*/
	produce : function
	(
		//the wordSeparator
		wordSeparator
	)
	{
		//delcare the variables T, A and k
		var T
		, A
		, k;

		//if this.exprs is null
		if
			(
				this.exprs === null
			)
		{
			//throw a new TypeError
			throw new TypeError
			(
				"YOU DICK Y U NO PROVIDE EXPRESSIONS AM I TOO FAT NOW FOR " +
					"YOU AS WELL!?!?"
				/*added per QA request*/
			);
		}
		//end if

		//set O to the result of calling Object, with this.exprs argument
		var O = Object
		(
			this.exprs
		);
		//set len to O.length truncated with magic bitwise operations
		var len = O.length >>> 0;

		//set A to be a new array of length len
		A = new Array
		(
			len
		);
		//set k to 0
		k = 0;

		//while k is less than len
		while
			(
				k < len
			)
		{
			//declare the variables kValue and mappedValue
			var kValue
			, mappedValue;

			//if k is in O
			if
				(
					k in O
				)
			{
				//set kValue to O[k]
				//lol, O[k]. get it, OK?
				//I'm the only smart person here...
				//all the rest of you are idiots, just sheeple!
				kValue = O[ k ];

				//set mappedValue to the result of calling this.produceCallback
				// with the kValue argument
				mappedValue = this.produceCallback( kValue );
				//set A[k] to mappedValue
				A[ k ] = mappedValue;
			}
			//end if

			k++; //increase k by 1
		}
		//end while

		//if A.length is greater than 0
		if
			(
				A.length > 0
			)
		{
			//set A[0] to the first letter uppercased, followed by the rest of
			// the letters, lowercased
			A[ 0 ] =
				A[ 0 ][ 0 ].toUpperCase()
				+
				A[ 0 ].slice( 1 ).toLowerCase();
		}
		//end if

		//TODO: consider localization ramifications of amputation by a nation's
		// cancellation with violation of the right of pagination all for
		// liberation of vegetation accomodation
		return A.join( " " );
	},

	/**
	   @author Scruffy (The candle that burns twice as bright turns half as long)
	   @description A produceCallback solution to your SentenceFactory.prototype.produceCallback needs!
	   @date 16.8.2012
	   @return mommy?
	*/
	produceCallback : function
	(
		//an expr
		expr
	)
	{
		//return the produce result of expr
		return expr.produce();
	},

	/**
	   @author Scruffy (It's a mirror into Scruffy's soul)
	   @description The enterprise solution to all your turnIntoAMoose needs!
	   @date 16.8.2012
	   @return void
	*/
	turnIntoAMoose : function
	(
	)
	{
		//throw a new Error
		throw new Error( 'You are not ready for the moose' );
	},

	constructor : SentenceFactory
};

/**
   @author Scruffy (Don't thank me. Thank the ladder.)
   @description The enterprise solution to all your WordFactory needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @arg dawg word
   @return WordFactory
*/
function WordFactory
(
	//a dawg
	dawg
)
{
	//set this.value = dawg
	this.value = dawg;
}

WordFactory.prototype =
{
	/**
	   @author Scruffy (Scruffy's work here is done.)
	   @description The enterprise solution to all your set needs!
	   @date 16.8.2012
	   @arg dawg word
	   @return WordFactory
	*/
	set : function
	(
		//a dawg
		dawg
	)
	{
		//set this.value = dawg
		this.value = dawg;
	},
	/**
	   @author Scruffy (I took a regular board, and made it into a divin' board.
	   Mhrm.
	   @description The enterprise solution to all your produce needs!
	   @date 16.8.2012
	   @return value value
	*/
	produce : function
	(
	)
	{
		//if there is no value
		if
			(
				!this.value
			)
		{
			//throw a new TypeError
			throw new TypeError( 'PPPEEEENNNNIIIIISSSS' );
		}
		//end if

		//return this.value
		return this.value;
	},

	constructor : WordFactory
};

/**
   @author Scruffy (I'm on break *eats potato chip*)
   @description The enterprise solution to all your HelloFactory needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @arg locale locale
   @return HelloFactory
*/
function HelloFactory
(
	//a locale
	locale
)
{
	//if a locale isn't passed,
	if
		(
			!locale
		)
	{
		//set the locale to 'en'
		locale = 'en';
	}
	//end if

	//call this.set, passing in the result of getting the `locale` property on
	// this.locales
	this.set
	(
		//because javascript is stupid, we can't use a variable to get a
		// property on an object, so we have to use eval
		//I saw this once in a NetTuts+ tutorial.
		eval( 'this.locales.' + locale )
	);
}

//set the HelloFactory prototype to a new WordFactory
HelloFactory.prototype = new WordFactory();

//set HelloFactory.prototype.locales to an object
HelloFactory.prototype.locales = new Object();
HelloFactory.prototype.locales.en = "hello";
HelloFactory.prototype.locales.de = "hallo";
HelloFactory.prototype.locales.es = "hola";
/*QA called and told us to be prepared for these kinds of customers*/
HelloFactory.prototype.locales.za = "̸̶̧̩̼̫̭͖̒̽̌ͦ̚Z͈͉̼͔͚̮͖͛ͪ͛ͩ̆ͤͅA̸̩̜̬͚ͤ̉́͞L̯̙̭͈̃͟G̷̤̟̙̹̗͆̍͛͒͂ͥ͠O̳̞̜͑ͣͤͦ͜";
/* p.s. YOU'RE A GIANT DOUCHEBAG */

//set HelloFactory.prototype.constructor to HelloFactory
HelloFactory.prototype.constructor = HelloFactory;

/**
   @author Scruffy (Life and death are a seamless continuum)
   @description The enterprise solution to your WorldFactory needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @
 */
function WorldFactory
(
	//a locale
	locale
)
{
	//management called and said DRY is for pussies
	//if locale wasn't passed in,
	if
		(
			!locale
		)
	{
		//set locale to 'en'
		locale = 'en';
	}
	//end if

	//call this.set, passing in the result of getting the `locale` property on
	// this.locales
	this.set
	(
		//because javascript is stupid, we can't use a variable to get a
		// property on an object, so we have to use eval
		//I saw this once in a NetTuts+ tutorial.
		eval( 'this.locales.' + locale )
	);
}

//set the WorldFactory prototype to a new WordFactory
WorldFactory.prototype = new WordFactory();

//set WorldFactory.prototype.locales to a new Object
WorldFactory.prototype.locales = new Object();
WorldFactory.prototype.locales.en = "world";
WorldFactory.prototype.locales.de = "welt";
WorldFactory.prototype.locales.es = "mundo";
WorldFactory.prototype.locales.za = "͉̰̖͕̬̜͎̮̗͛̇̎ͥ̆Z̴̵̙̖̹̭̭͖̯ͫ̓ͦ̑̀̚ͅA̸̲̜̮ͧ͒̌ͯ̀̊̂̅͞ͅL͙̰͔̝̮̬̹̅̓̉̊͛͛͒͜͠G̨̲̀ͦ͊͐͐ͫ̒ͨO̷͔̜̹͇̩̫͓ͬͫͣ̂͗̆͟͡!̨̯̼̹̮͉͔̿ͬ̓ͫͫ͛̌̃";

//set WorldFactory prototype constructor to WorldFactory
WorldFactory.prototype.constructor = WorldFactory;

/**
   @author Scruffy (What fevered dream is this that bids to tear this company
   in twain!?
   @description The enterprise solution to all your HelloWorldFactory needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @args locale locale
   @return HelloWorldFactory
*/
function HelloWorldFactory
(
	//a locale
	locale
)
{
	//set hello to making a new HelloFactory, passing in locale
	var hello = new HelloFactory
	(
		locale
	);
	//set world to making a new WorldFactory, passing in locale
	var world = new WorldFactory
	(
		locale
	);

	//set a to a new array
	var a = new Array();
	//set the first item to hello
	a[ 0 ] = hello;
	//and the second item to world
	a[ 1 ] = world;

	//call this.set, passing in a
	this.set
	(
		a
	);
}

//set HelloWorldFactory prototype to a new SentenceFactory
HelloWorldFactory.prototype = new SentenceFactory();

//set HelloWorldFactory prototype constructor to HelloWorldFactory
HelloWorldFactory.prototype.constructor = HelloWorldFactory;

/**
   @author Scruffy (My job. Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets. Plus that
   one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.)
   @description The enterprise solution to all your static_void_main needs!
   @date 16.8.2012
   @return void void
*/
function static_void_main
()
{
	//set helloWorld to a new HelloWorldFactory
	var helloWorld = new HelloWorldFactory()
	//set result to the result of calling produce on helloWorld
	, result = helloWorld.produce();

	//call the console.log function, passing in result
	console.log
	(
		result
	);
}

//call static_void_main
static_void_main();