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def progress_statements
["Evaluating Followers", "Questionable"],
["Analyzing Retweet Recursion Depth", "Substantial"],
["Syntax, Grammar and Vocabulary Analysis", "Seventh grade"],
["Determining Mediated Collective Influence", "Fourth degree"],
["Resolving Social Matrix Lattices", "Semi-entwined"],
["Reticulating Splines", "Bezier"]
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