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@alfateam123 alfateam123/
Last active Sep 6, 2019

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Random funny quotes I find while reading blogposts or source code

This is a collection of some funny quotes

Unix: just enough potholes and bear traps to keep an entire valley going.

from Rachel By The Bay

Hacking around with private methods like this is juggling footguns

comment found inside app-route source code (2016?). By the way, the code still works as expected.

Tricky Akka mocks make Jenkins kaboom

Example sentence for the fantasque-sans font

It is all as it was foretold. The mighty Beowulf cluster reawakens, summoned by its true calling. Servants of the Dark File, bring forth your abandoned and dying devices, that they may be blessed with an IP in this new Mecca of logic and crystal.

Hacker News comment from "Linux Kernel Testing: Intro to" (

'Bonuses in software' is an amusing and mythical notion. A bit like 'paid overtime' and 'appropriate training'. If you hear the word 'bonus', please assume they are talking about someone else :D

Stack overflow comment to a question about salary formulas in hiring negotiations

happy families are all isomorphic; no other isomorphisms (other than identity morphisms) exist in the category of families

@kushnerbomb on twitter paraphrasing Anna Karenina's famous sentence.

Of course, if you are actually parsing BER in a smart contract, you should really reconsider what life choices brought you to this point :) But it might be useful for a non-blockchain related crypto library.

HN Comment from "Simplicity: A New Language for Blockchains [pdf]"

Della mia professione odio i pc troppo lenti, gli uffici complicazioni cose semplici e le analisi funzionali incomprensibili; 

Nota di presentazione di un collega sullo sharepoint aziendale. Mi sarei stupito se avesse detto "adoro i pc lenti" :V

It's only the unhealed scars of old battles that will make this book [Working effectively with Legacy Code by Feathers] palatable.

Eli Bendersky in their book review

With CouchDB we discovered the hard way how Erlang handles memory allocation errors from the OS:


When the VM cannot get memory from the OS, it just commits hara-kiri. It doesn't just kill the virtual Erlang "process" that needs the memory. It kills the whole VM, taking along any child OS processes with it. But at least it's an honorable death.

Damien Katz in "What sucks about Erlang"

Democracy cannot be turned into a marketing operation.

Antonio Tajani, European Parliament, after meeting Zuckerberg

The only reason coders’ computers work better than non-coders’ computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don’t beat them when they’re bad.

Peter Welch in "Programming Sucks"

"I want to wax the car today.
"Oops, the hose is still broken from the winter. I'll need to buy a new one at Home Depot.
"But Home Depot is on the other side of the Tappan Zee bridge and getting there without my EZPass is miserable because of the tolls.
"But, wait! I could borrow my neighbor's EZPass...
"Bob won't lend me his EZPass until I return the mooshi pillow my son borrowed, though.
"And we haven't returned it because some of the stuffing fell out and we need to get some yak hair to restuff it."
And the next thing you know, you're at the zoo, shaving a yak, all so you can wax your car.

Anonymous user in PushDownGoalStack @

Seeing code written like this that compiled down to one state machine, with full code and data inlining,
and no extra allocations, was captivating. You may as well have dropped out of the sky on a
flying motorcycle and told me that magic exists, and I was a wizard.

TMandry in How Rust optimizes async/await - part 1

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