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braimee/CryptoLockerd.md

Last active Nov 15, 2018
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What would you like to do?
This is an infosec-themed song called CryptoLocker'd

You can listen to this song on episode #276 of the 7 Minute Security podcast

Verse 1

You said you wouldn't do it
You said you wouldn't click that link
But you totally did
It’s clear you didn’t stop and think
How the promise of a free burrito would be all that it took
To open up our networks to virtual crooks

You said you would be careful
Read every email with a fine-toothed comb
But you totally didn’t
And now they’re stringing up our CTO
Oh I pray we’ve got good backups but you know we probably don’t
I was going to take tomorrow off but now I probably won’t because we’re all…

CHORUS

CryptoLocker’d thanks to you, thanks to you
We're running around like circus clowns
Screaming what are we going to do
Yeah we’re all CryptoLocker’d thanks to you, thanks to you

Verse 2

We’re gonna make you pay for this
Because you cursed us with a certain doom
Gonna take your computer
And then replace it with a Microsoft Zune
Yeah the IT team is crying while they’re facing their worst fears
And you can pick the soundtrack to go with their tears

Your coworkers are furious
Cursing your name with a red-hot hate
But they’ll deal with you later
When all our data get restored from tape
Maybe then you’ll be more careful with the hyperlinks you click
And everyone who works here will not think you’re such a jerk because we’re all...

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Now we’re wishing that we’d checked - our backup job integrity
Because it hasn’t finished once - since June of ‘93!

CHORUS

OUTRO

Our resources are tapped
Our resources are straining
Next time don’t call in sick
Or find some way to miss
Security awareness training
Now we’re all totally screwed thanks to you

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