Magic eight ball bash script. Put this in your $PATH and never make a decision without it.

magic-eight-ball.sh

#! /bin/bash

number=$(echo $((1 + RANDOM % 20)))
msg=""

case $number in
  1) msg="It is certain.";;
  2) msg="It is decidedly so.";;
  3) msg="Without a doubt.";;
  4) msg="Yes - definitely.";;
  5) msg="You may rely on it.";;
  6) msg="As I see it, yes.";;
  7) msg="Most likely.";;
  8) msg="Outlook good.";;
  9) msg="Yes.";;
  10) msg="Signs point to yes.";;
  11) msg="Reply hazy, try again.";;
  12) msg="Ask again later.";;
  13) msg="Better not tell you now.";;
  14) msg="Cannot predict now.";;
  15) msg="Concentrate and ask again.";;
  16) msg="Don't count on it.";;
  17) msg="My reply is no.";;
  18) msg="My sources say no.";;
  19) msg="Outlook not so good.";;
  20) msg="Very doubtful.";;
esac

echo "$msg"
say "$msg"