PHP class to get the the current game date for the much-missed game Glitch

GlitchCalender.php

<?php

namespace Lumen\Glitch\CalendarBundle\Service;

class GlitchCalendar
{
    private $timezone;
    private $epoch;
    private $daysInYear;
    
    private $months = array
    (
        array('name' =>'Primuary',      'length' => 29, 'holidays' => array(5 => 'AlphCon')), 
        array('name' =>'Spork',         'length'  => 3, 'holidays' => array(2 => 'Lemadan')),
        array('name' =>'Bruise',        'length' => 53, 'holidays' => array(3 => 'Pot Twoday')),
        array('name' =>'Candy',         'length' => 17, 'holidays' => array(2 => 'Root', 3 => 'Root', 4 => 'Root', 11 => 'Sprinkling')),
        array('name' =>'Fever',         'length' => 73, 'holidays' => array()),
        array('name' =>'Junuary',       'length' => 19, 'holidays' => array(17 => 'Croppaday')),
        array('name' =>'Septa',         'length' => 13, 'holidays' => array(1 => 'Belabor Day')),
        array('name' =>'Remember',      'length' => 37, 'holidays' => array(37 => 'Zille-o-ween')),
        array('name' =>'Doom',          'length' => 5,  'holidays' => array()),
        array('name' =>'Widdershins',   'length' => 47, 'holidays' => array()),
        array('name' =>'Eleventy',      'length' => 11, 'holidays' => array(11 => 'Recurse Eve')),
        array('name' =>'Recurse',       'length' => 1,  'holidays' => array())
    );
    
    private $days = array
    (
        'Fabday',
        'Hairday',
        'Moonday',
        'Twoday',
        'Weddingday',
        'Theday',
        'Fryday',
        'Standday',
    );
    
    public function __construct()
    {
        // Glitch is born!
        $this->timezone = new \DateTimeZone('UTC');
        $this->epoch = 1238562000;
        $this->creationDay = 0; // Fabday

        $this->daysInYear = 0;
        foreach ($this->months as $m)
        {
            $this->daysInYear += $m['length'];
        }
    }
    
    private function getDayAndMonthFromDayOfYear($d)
    {
        while ($d > $this->daysInYear)
        {
            $d -= $this->daysInYear;
        }
        
        $n = 0;
        foreach ($this->months as $m)
        {
            $n++;
            if ($d - $m['length'] <= 0)
            {
                // This is the one
                break;
            }
            $d -= $m['length'];
        }
        
        return array('day' => $d, 'month' => $n);
    }
    
    public function now()
    {
	    $glitchTime = array();
    	try
    	{
	        $now = new \DateTime('now', $this->timezone);
	        $seconds = $now->getTimestamp() - $this->epoch;
	
	        // One glitch day = 4 real hours
	        // so 1 real second = 6 glitch seconds
	        $glitchSeconds = $seconds * 6;
	        $glitchMinutes = (int)floor($glitchSeconds/60);
	        $glitchHours = (int)floor($glitchMinutes/60);
	        $glitchDays = (int)floor($glitchHours/24);
	        $glitchYears = (int)floor($glitchDays/$this->daysInYear);
	        
	        $dayOfYear = $glitchDays % $this->daysInYear + 1;
	        $dm = $this->getDayAndMonthFromDayOfYear($dayOfYear);
	        $month = $dm['month'];
	        $monthName = $this->months[$month - 1]['name'];
	        $day = $dm['day'];
	        $dayOfWeek = ($dayOfYear + ($this->daysInYear - 1) * $glitchYears) % count($this->days);
	        $dayName = ($dayOfYear == $this->daysInYear) ? "" : $this->days[$dayOfWeek];
	
	        $holiday = '';
	        foreach ($this->months[$month - 1]['holidays'] as $hday => $hname)
	        {
	            if ($hday == $day)
	            {
	                $holiday = $hname;
	                break;
	            }
	        }
	        
	        $glitchTime = array
	        (
	            'second' => $glitchSeconds % 60,
	            'minute' => $glitchMinutes % 60,
	            'hour' => $glitchHours % 24,
	            'dayOfYear' => $dayOfYear,
	            'dayOfWeek' => $dayOfWeek,
	            'dayName' => $dayName,
	            'month' => $month,
	            'monthName' => $monthName,
	            'day' => $day, 
	            'year' => $glitchYears,
	            'holiday' => $holiday,
	        );
	 
	        $glitchTime['formatted'] = $this->formatGlitchDateTime($glitchTime); 
	                  	
    	}
    	catch (\Exception $e)
    	{
	    	// Do nothing. It's not important right now.
    	}
    	
	    return $glitchTime;
    }
    
    public function formatGlitchDateTime($d)
    {
        $ordinal = "";
        switch ($d['day'] % 10)
        {
            case 1:
	        	if ($d['day'] == 11)
	        	{
		        	$ordinal = 'th';
	        	}
	        	else
	        	{
		            $ordinal = 'st';
	        	}
                break;

            case 2:
	        	if ($d['day'] == 12)
	        	{
		        	$ordinal = 'th';
	        	}
	        	else
	        	{
		            $ordinal = 'nd';
	        	}
                break;

            case 3:
	        	if ($d['day'] == 13)
	        	{
		        	$ordinal = 'th';
	        	}
	        	else
	        	{
		            $ordinal = 'rd';
	        	}
                break;
                
            default:
                $ordinal = 'th';
                break;

        }
        
        $hour = $d['hour'] % 12;
        if ($hour == 0)
        {
            $hour = 12;
        }
        $ampm = $d['hour'] < 12 ? 'am' : 'pm';
        
        return sprintf("%d:%02d %s, %s, %d%s of %s, year %d", $hour, $d['minute'], $ampm, $d['dayName'], $d['day'], $ordinal, $d['monthName'], $d['year']);
    }

    public function daysInYear()
    {
        return $this->daysInYear;
    }
}