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@iamcal
iamcal / status.php
Created August 27, 2014 17:25
Parse mod_status output for localhost
<?php
#
# scoreboard stuff
#
echo file_get_contents('http://localhost/server-status?auto');
echo "\n";
#
@iamcal
iamcal / gist:d1d9e8a99ab8af46a782
Created August 9, 2014 16:30
Particle Clicker hinter
function best_research(){
var ranks = [];
for (var i=0; i<GameObjects.research.length; i++){
var r = GameObjects.research[i];
ranks.push([r.name, 1000*r.reputation/r.cost, r.cost<=GameObjects.lab.data]);
}
ranks.sort(function(a,b){return b[1]-a[1]});
return format_items("Research", ranks);
}
@iamcal
iamcal / gist:11301201
Created April 25, 2014 19:56
keybase.md
### Keybase proof
I hereby claim:
* I am iamcal on github.
* I am iamcal (https://keybase.io/iamcal) on keybase.
* I have a public key whose fingerprint is C568 1CFB 8867 08A1 A921 855E 27C8 7757 FADA 9ADB
To claim this, I am signing this object:
@iamcal
iamcal / gist:6169622
Created August 6, 2013 23:01
Using Emoji with ApnsPHP
<?php
require_once 'ApnsPHP/Autoload.php';
$message = new ApnsPHP_Message('1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234');
$message->setText("Hello \\uD83D\\uDCC5");
print_r($message->getPayload());
echo "\n";
@iamcal
iamcal / oldbot.pl
Created October 31, 2012 00:10
Minimal perl oldbot using POE
#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;
use POE;
use POE::Component::IRC::Common;
use POE::Component::IRC::State;
use POE::Component::IRC::Plugin::AutoJoin;
switch ($a)
case 1:
#this runs if case 1 is true
case 2:
case 3:
#this runs if case 1, 2 or 3 are true
break;
case 4:
#this runs if case 4 is true
function consistent_hash($path, $servers){
$hash = hexdec(substr(md5($path), 0, 5));
return $cache[$hash % count($servers)];
}
$server = consistent_hash($path_to_asset, array('cache1', 'cache2'));
@iamcal
iamcal / gist:1468403
Created December 12, 2011 18:12
Merging to a parent repo after it accepts your changes
$ git remote add parent git://github.com/shiflett/testmore.git
$ git fetch parent
$ git branch parent-master parent/master
$ git checkout parent-master
$ git checkout master
$ git merge parent-master
$ git push origin master
$ git branch -d parent-master
@iamcal
iamcal / gist:1033478
Created June 18, 2011 20:22
Installing yum on a Centos 5 box (MediaTemple dv 3.5)
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/python-elementtree-1.2.6-5.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/python-sqlite-1.1.7-1.2.1.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nspr-4.8.6-1.el5.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nspr-devel-4.8.6-1.el5.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nss-3.12.8-1.el5.centos.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nss-devel-3.12.8-1.el5.centos.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/cpio-2.6-23.el5_4.1.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nss-3.12.8-1.el5.centos.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/nss-devel-3.12.8-1.el5.centos.i386.rpm
wget http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5/os/i386/CentOS/popt-1.10.2.3-22.el5.i386.rpm
<?php
mysql_connect('localhost', 'root', 'root');
mysql_select_db('porn');
$result = mysql_query("SELECT * FROM images WHERE has_goats=1 AND has_nuns=1");
while ($row = mysql_fetch_array($result)){
echo "<img src=\"$row[image]\" />\n";
}