say a frasier

say.js

var util = require('util');
var fs = require('fs');
var markov = require('markov');

function theCleaner(theText) {

    if (theText.slice(-1) !== ('!' || '?' || '.')) {
        theText = theText.slice(0, theText.length - 1);
        theText += '.';
    }

    return theText.toLowerCase()
        .replace(/(^\s*\w|[\.\!\?]\s*\w)/g, function(c) {
            return c.toUpperCase()
        })
        .replace(/( i )/g, function() {
            return ' I '
        })
        .replace(/([.,!?])+\S/g, function(c) {
            var output = [c.slice(0, 1), " ", c.slice(1)].join('');
            return output;
        })
        .replace(/[.!,?][.!,?]/g, function(c) {
            return c.split(0, 1);
        })
        .replace(/[.!,?]\s[^A-Z || ^ a-z]/, function(c) {
            return c.split(0, 1);
        })
        .replace(/(roz)/g, function(c) {
            return 'Roz';
        })
        .replace(/(niles)/g, function(c) {
            return 'Niles';
        })
        .replace(/[^A-Z ^a-z][^A-Z ^a-z] | [ ]/g, function() {
            return ""
        })
        .replace(/[,.?!]\s[,.?!][,.?!]/g, function(c) {
            return c.slice(0, 1)
        });
}

say = function() {
    var m = markov(3);
    var blurp = "";
    var littleCorpus = "";
    var blurp = fs.readFileSync('./drfrasier.txt', {
        encoding: 'utf-8'
    });
    var mlength = 100;
    var said = "";
    var saidClump = "";
    blurp = blurp.split('\n');
    var corpseSeed = Math.floor(Math.random() * (blurp.length - 0 + 1)) + 0;

    for (i = 0; i < mlength; i++) {
        littleCorpus += blurp[corpseSeed + i];
    }

    var said = m.seed(littleCorpus, function() {
        var lines = m.fill(m.pick(), 8);
        for (i = 0; i < lines.length; i++) {
            saidClump += lines[i] + " ";
        }
    });
    saidClump = theCleaner(saidClump);
    return saidClump;
}
//console.log(say()); for testing uncomment this line and console log.