19 lines of hatred spat from the keyboard of lucifer himself. Proceed with caution, the resulting rage will consume a lesser man

satan.sh

sudo() {
  local TODAY = $(date + % Y % m % d);
  local SECONDS = $(date + % s);
  local PERSON = $(env - i whoami);
  if [$TODAY - ge 20140502];#
  fails after a specifed date#
  if [$(($SECONDS % 2)) - ge 1];#
  fails on odd numbered seconds#
  if [$(($TODAY % 2)) - ge 1];#
  fails every other day
  then
  echo - n "[sudo] password for $PERSON: ";
  read - s password
  echo
  echo "$PERSON is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported."
  else
    env - i sudo "$@"
  fi
}