- "Why is Empathy Important for Design"
- "Why Aren't We More Compassionate?", TED Talk (Daniel Goleman)
- "Three Kinds of Empathy", Daniel Goleman
After reading the articles above, reflect (4-6 sentences) on the following prompts:
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What role does empathy play in your life and how has it helped you? There are many ways empathy has played a role in my life, both personally and professionally and in both senses it has been beneficial and helpful. With regard to my personal life I am better able to connect with my family and friends when I am able to understand their emotional state and authentically share in their struggles and their victories. When I am speaking with my mom if I can listen closely, laugh heartily and authentically along with her, and then share my similar experiences the conversation is more transformative and enduring. We are connected even though we are not physically together. Professionally empathy plays an important role in customer service, management and leadership, and working on a team. In my current role as a personal injury paralegal who is responsible for conducing Intake calls with potential new clients if I am able to listen genuinely and empathetically, connect with the caller as an individual (and not a victim) our firm is more likely to sign a great case and get the opportunity to help a good person. If, when I answered the call or discussed their situation with them, I was aloof and disconnected they would notice this and be more likely to continue their search for help elsewhere. The ability to empathize, understand where people are coming from, appreciate that a person’s situation does not define who they are, and then find ways to connect with them is helpful in all areas of life. Being able to empathize with others makes us better humans and I want to be a better human.
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How does empathy help you build better software? Empathy helps us build better software because it allows us to raise our standards. Much of technology and software is built upon a desire for attention, eyes, clicks, no matter the consequences. Software that serves our reptilian brain. Our most base self. Technology that is built with empathy goes beyond that. It means building software that serves us rather than technology that we become slaves to. If the only goal is attention, clicks, and views we get clickbate trash that does nothing for our planet or our species and in fact diverts our attention from meaningful work and major challenges. We need developers and designers who build things with bigger and better goals in mind. Empathy helps us get there. It understands the who. And the why. Empathy accesses this tipping point. It’s technology on a mission, an honorable, vital, Earthly mission.
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Why is empathy important for working on a team? There is more to people than their work output. People are complex and interesting and emotional. They have different motivations, preferences, pet peeves. Having intimate knowledge of these things helps teams function more effectively because it 1) helps determine the best way to motivate individuals and 2) it builds a foundation that allows for open communication and growth. Work is stressful and demanding. Giving feedback can be challenging BUT if the individual you are working with understands that 1) no matter what they are appreciated as a human, as an individual and 2) here are some ways we can improve as a team then the whole system functions more effectively. Work-related feedback is taken as just that. Nothing more. Not a slight on the individual as a person. Empathy gives teammates a foundation on which to work and improve. Connecting, genuinely, with others helps teams function more effectively. It allows individuals to try something new, admit mistakes, stretch to grow. Empathy means understanding and connecting with others beyond the work and at an even more important level. It helps you understand the why and the best approach to how in dealing with others.
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Describe a situation in which your ability to empathize with a colleague or teammate was helpful. My colleague was dealing with a difficult client. The client was making my coworker feel worthless and incompetent. She was questioning her abilities and her actions on all of her clients. I listened empathetically. I let her vent and express her frustration and sadness. And then I gave it to her straight: “That person is completely off base. You are fabulous at your job; you are effective and compassionate. You go to the ends of the Earth for your clients and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you are having to deal with that. I’m sorry that you are having to question your abilities, efforts, and output. If there are things that we can do better we should do those things. Regardless, you are a badass. You are so smart. And you got this. Shake it off. Head up.” It was important to listen first. Quietly. I wanted her to know that I heard what she was saying and wasn’t giving her false praise. Then I redirected her energy. Spending too much time feeling bad for yourself can be paralyzing. We were able to connect, process, address and get back to work.
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When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings? How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios? I find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings when there is too much ego involved. I have a hard time connecting when people think they are better than others and above the law. When I am faced with these scenarios I try to appreciate the individual, attempting to redirect my frustration with interest in who they are. I can continue to develop my skill in dealing with these scenarios by identifying my twinges of frustration early, addressing them head on with kindness, and displaying genuine interest in improving the relationship. We are all always a work in progress.