disconnect_slowest.sh

#!/bin/bash

set -e

echo "Pinging peers..."
bitcoin-cli ping

sleep 2

# loop until all but 2 slowest peers have responded
while [ "$( bitcoin-cli getpeerinfo | grep -c pingwait )" -gt 2 ]; do
	# spit out peers from fastest to slowest
	echo; echo
	bitcoin-cli  getpeerinfo | jq -r 'sort_by(.pingtime, .pingwait) | .[] | [.addr, .pingtime, .pingwait] | @tsv'
	sleep 2
done;

# ditch slowest peer by ping time
slowest="$( bitcoin-cli  getpeerinfo | jq -r 'sort_by(.pingtime) | .[-1].addr'  )"
echo "Disconnecting from $slowest"
bitcoin-cli disconnectnode "$slowest"

note: https://twitter.com/ercwl/status/1086592029130440704