Dear keyword match,
You vaguely look like someone capable of doing work.
I have a couple jobs that I'm not going to bother to describe because that would have meant I needed to take the time to look at your actual experience and see if any of them are actually a fit. But trust me, these are big time real jobs that actually exist and would be perfect for you based on the fact that you matched a keyword.
Instead of telling you more, I'm going to ask you to tell me what you are doing now. If my fishing trip is successful, then I'll take the time to look and see if you might be a fit for one of the jobs I'm recruiting for. If you are, I might get back to you.
Thanks for your time,