SampleListview.java

@Override
protected void onResume() {
    List<Contact> contacts = getContactsFromYourSource();
    ContactsAdapter contactsAdapter = new ContactsAdapter(contacts);
    contactListView.setAdapter(contactsAdapter);
    highlightListItem(2); // this simple function call does the trick
}

private void highlightListItem(int position) {
    ContactsAdapter contactsAdapter = (ContactsAdapter) contactListView.getAdapter();
    contactsAdapter.setSelectedItem(position);
    // in some cases, it may be necessary to re-set adapter (as in the line below)
    contactListView.setAdapter(contactsAdapter);
}