I'm sad that the world has adopted English as the language of science and business. It's insane. It's like adopting a psychotic murdering robot to clean your house. English is a mutt language that has never been redone, reworked or even designed. It's a combination of ice cream, meatballs and wine. All fine things by themselves but terrible when combined.
There are more English learners than there are native English speakers in the world. I'm really sorry world. I'm just so so sorry that you have to learn Germanic-French-Latin nonsense. It's terrible. It's a terrible language.
Update: I wrote this before I read Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson. It's fantastic and a better write-up of what I'm trying to say here.
They make no sense taken literally and are very hard to learn for learners. Native speakers bring them out as prebaked set objects as rote habit.
Look at these pairs.
- "Those eggs are overdone. Hover over the table."
- "Don't undersell yourself. Go under the table."
- "I am through with you. Go through the door."
- "Run up the bill. The run up to the election."
- "Take out food. Take him out."
- "Take over the company. It was a takeover."
- Hamburger = no ham
- Pineapple = no apple
- Eggplant = no egg
First / second / third / fourth. From 4th on up, you can kind of add "th" to the end nine + th = nineth = 9th ten + th = tenth = 10th But 12th is spelled twelfth. Whereas 12 is spelled twelve. :| Most english speakers of 30-70 years probably would get this wrong.
George Bernard Shaw said FISH is spelled GHOTI. Here's why. GH - From the word tough. GH makes an F sound. O - From the word women. O makes an I sound in women but an "oh" sound in woman. Notice that the e -> a letter change make a different letter sound change. TI - From the word nation. TI makes an SH sound.
touGH wOmen naTIon = GH (f) O (i) TI (sh) = GHOTI = FISH
Squirrel - hard for germans to pronounce. This doesn't mean much because I can't speak German either. But there's a lot of letters there that don't do anything. Skwerel.
Whirr / were. Where / ware / wear. When / win. Wind is weather whether you wind the clock or not.
- Chocolate is two syllables.
- Interested is three syllables but it's not written that way.
- Language is not written the way it sounds. Español is not this way.
- Yellow would be pronounced Jello by spanish speakers. Egriega (y = j). But then Y is an I sound sometimes. "Fairly would be farell-yah."
Tear (a piece of paper in half) is spelled the same as tear (from crying) It's pronounce like tare (like tare weight). Tear (like crying) is pronounced like tier (like a level). When it's an adverb it's tearable which sounds like terrible. Terrible is spelled like terrific but they are complete opposites! Tear (paper) in past tense isn't teared. It's tore! Tear (crying) in past tense is IN FACT TEARED. !@#$
American pronounciation causes conflicts.
- Butter = budder
- Water = wadder
British pronounciation causes conflicts.
- "He may be dead. He maybe did what?"
- "Follow the law. The lore?"
Ice is frozen water. Icing is sweet stuff you put on cakes. Frost is frozen water. Frosting is sweet stuff you put on cakes. Both ing words can also be gerand verbs though. I'm frosting the frosting on frost.
Slow down means to decrease speed. But if you decreased slowness (down) then it would be faster. Speed up is increase speed. Slow up would be decrease speed.
Getting started, as in "how to get started" makes no sense. In chinese, 入門 literally means enter door, as in entering a workshop as an apprentice starting out. Getting started means "obtaining start in the noun form". More like becoming a beginner. But you can't say that. Give me a break.
Learning to count to 100 requires you to learn many unique words. (http://larrycheng.com/2009/10/07/how-language-and-math-intersect-chinese-v-english/)
In English we have unique words from 11-19 that are never used again. Eleven, twelve, thirteen etc. In chinese, you simply say this: ten-one (11) ten-two (12) ten-three (13) two-ten-one (21) two-ten-two (22) two-ten-three (23) It means that English kids can't count to 100 until much later (relative to chinese kids) in life.
Do -> Does (not pural). Doe (like a deer) -> Does (is plural)
Some words are never plural. Slang is almost never pluralized: "I don't understand all his slangs." is incorrect. "I don't understand all the slang words he is using." is correct.
Got is never pluralized. "He got over his cold." Haves isn't a word.
Got and have to is confusing.
- I have got to go to the store. (correct)
- I gots to go to the store. (wrong)
- I haves to go get something from the store. (wrong)
- I need to go to the store. (most correct)
Good -> Better -> Best -> !Gooder! I hear people saying "funner" all the time and it hurts my ears. Regardless vs irregardless (no such word)
Spanish does not have contractions at all. I just think of quotes as a pain in the butt when coding too. 'Almost always if you type long enough, it's easy to get a quote wrong.'
The rules break quickly. You can contract some pairs but not others:
- You are not => You're not OR You aren't
- He is not => He isn't OR He's not
- I am not => I'm not BUT I amn't is very wrong (except for Scotland and Ireland?!)
You/He/I is not is all the same concept. But I am not only has one contraction.
Bash Cash Dash Gash,
Hash Mash Sash Rash.
Crash Trash Clash.
<ahem> Wash.
- Promise vs Compromise
- Science vs Conscience
- Why is there an r sound in Colonel?
- Place - I set the flower down on the table
- Release - I set the bird free
- Assign/Configure - I set my watch to 9am
- Harden - The glue dried and was set
- Space - The sun will set today
- Direction - The ship set out northwards
- Fire - We set fire to the house
- Seed - The grass has set seed
- Sit - The man set in his chair (rare dialect)
These are just the verbs.
the word "hotel" is pronounced with the stress on the first syllable in phrases like "HOtel bar" or "HOtel breakfast," but it's placed on the second syllable in phrases like "hoTEL room" or "I'm gonna go back to the hoTEL."