Disclaimer: SATIRE!!!1
A variation on torcriminalbrowser.com code that also has a "criminal mode". CSS only (can even criminalize a browser with no-JS :) ).
A variation on torcriminalbrowser.com code that also has a "criminal mode". CSS only (can even criminalize a browser with no-JS :) ).
| <!DOCTYPE html> | |
| <html> | |
| <head> | |
| <title>Tor: The Web Browser for Criminals</title> | |
| <meta name="description" content="Tor, the web browser for criminals"> | |
| <meta name="author" content="Jordan Rejaud"> | |
| <meta name="keywords" content="tor, browser, web browser, privacy, web browser for criminals"> | |
| <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/style/format.css"> | |
| <link rel="shortcut icon" href="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/favicon.ico"> | |
| <script> | |
| (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ | |
| (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), | |
| m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) | |
| })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); | |
| ga('create', 'UA-46626593-2', 'auto'); | |
| ga('send', 'pageview'); | |
| </script> | |
| <!-- Begin criminalizer style --> | |
| <style type="text/css"> | |
| #criminalizer-wrapper { text-align:center; width:100% } | |
| #criminalizer-wrapper h2 { padding-top:50px; font-weight:bold; font-size:120% } | |
| #criminalized { | |
| height:350px; | |
| white-space: nowrap; | |
| position:relative | |
| } | |
| #criminalizer+label+#criminalized #criminal, | |
| #criminalizer:checked+label+#criminalized #lawful { | |
| transition: all 4s ease-out; | |
| position:absolute; | |
| top:-1000px; | |
| left:50%; | |
| opacity: 0; | |
| } | |
| #criminalizer+label+#criminalized #lawful, | |
| #criminalizer:checked+label+#criminalized #criminal { | |
| transition: all 3s ease-in; | |
| position:absolute; | |
| top:8px; | |
| left:50%; | |
| text-align:center; | |
| margin: 0 auto; | |
| opacity: 1; | |
| } | |
| #criminalizer-wrapper img { vertical-align:middle } | |
| #criminalizer-wrapper .image figcaption, | |
| #criminalizer-wrapper .image span img { | |
| position:relative; | |
| left:-50%; | |
| } | |
| /* OT: tweak against empty space below piratebay item */ | |
| /* text can overflow beyond 256, without obstructing float-left */ | |
| .item { height: 256px } | |
| </style> | |
| <!-- End criminalizer style --> | |
| <!-- Place this tag in your head or just before your close body tag. --> | |
| <script src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js" async defer></script> | |
| </head> | |
| <body> | |
| <div id="nav"> | |
| <h1 id="logo"><a href="https://www.torproject.org/index.html.en">Tor</a></h1> | |
| <nav> | |
| <ul> | |
| <li><a href="https://www.torproject.org/index.html.en">Home</a></li> | |
| <li><a href="https://www.torproject.org/about/overview.html.en">About Tor</a></li> | |
| <li><a href="https://www.torproject.org/docs/documentation.html.en">Documentation</a></li> | |
| <li><a href="https://www.torproject.org/press/press.html.en">Press</a></li> | |
| <li><a href="https://blog.torproject.org/blog/">Blog</a></li> | |
| <li><a href="https://www.torproject.org/about/contact.html.en">Contact</a></li> | |
| </ul> | |
| </nav> | |
| </div> | |
| <!--Main Margins Block --> | |
| <div> | |
| <!-- Begin criminalizer --> | |
| <div id="criminalizer-wrapper"> | |
| <input id="criminalizer" type="checkbox"> | |
| <label for="#criminalizer">Criminal mode</label> | |
| <div id="criminalized"> | |
| <h2><img src="ajax-loader.gif"> [de]criminalizating...</h2> | |
| <!-- Lawful Image--> | |
| <figure id="lawful" class="image"> | |
| <span onclick="document.getElementById('criminalizer').click()"> | |
| <img src="tor-header.jpg" alt="Mark of criminal quality"> | |
| </span> | |
| <figcaption>The Web Browser for Criminals</figcaption> | |
| </figure> | |
| <!-- Criminal Image--> | |
| <figure id="criminal" class="image"> | |
| <span onclick="document.getElementById('criminalizer').click()"> | |
| <img src="criminal-header.jpg" alt="You're a criminal. Enjoy"> | |
| </span> | |
| <figcaption>Criminal mode engaged</figcaption> | |
| </figure> | |
| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| <!-- End criminalizer --> | |
| <hr> | |
| <div class="itemcontainer"> | |
| <!-- Row 3 --> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>iCloud Hacking</h2> | |
| <img src="http://logonoid.com/images/icloud-logo.png"/> | |
| <p>Tor lets you hack iCloud to bend someone's iPhone 6 using remote microwave radiation</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Arson</h2> | |
| <img src="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/images/pyro.png"/> | |
| <p>Tor can break through your victim's firewall to light their computer on fire</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Free Pedobear Doll</h2> | |
| <img src="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/images/pedobear.jpg"/> | |
| <p>Anyone who uses Tor gets a free Pedobear doll! Use it to gain a child's trust! Its nose is a webcam!</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <!-- Row 1 --> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Pirate Bay Search Engine</h2> | |
| <img src="http://entertainmentagentblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/piratbyran.gif"/> | |
| <p>The Pirate Bay is the default search engine in Tor. Why bother with Google? Cut out the middle man</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Hacker 4chan</h2> | |
| <img src="http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111102014122/suicideprevention/images/0/01/4chan-logo.jpg"/> | |
| <p>Tor is the official browser of infamous hacker, 4chan</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Aero-Narcotics</h2> | |
| <img src="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/images/flyingcamel.png"/> | |
| <p>Tor will use drones in Washington and Colorado to remotely fly illicit drugs to your home</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <!-- Row 2 --> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Bitcoin Integration</h2> | |
| <img src="https://bitcoin.org/img/opengraph.png"/> | |
| <p>Euro, USD, and all other fiat currency values are automatically converted and shown as Bitcoin (the currency for criminals) when using Tor</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Automobile download</h2> | |
| <img src="downloadcar.png"/> | |
| <p>The latest version of Tor finally lets you download a car. Only electric cars can be downloaded (because electricity = internet).</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>NSA Proof</h2> | |
| <img src="http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/host.madison.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/1/de/1ded273c-e892-11e2-af6c-001a4bcf887a/51dc0072f346e.preview-620.jpg"/> | |
| <p>Tor browser is completely NSA proof. You can conduct your illegal and blatantly non-ethical activities with no oversight from Big Brother.</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="clear"></div> | |
| <hr> | |
| <div class="clear"></div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Requirements</h2> | |
| <img src="http://torcriminalbrowser.com/images/comcast.png"/> | |
| <p>Tor is optimized for modern ISPs (like Google Fiber) and is incompatible with Comcast</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Who uses Tor?</h2> | |
| <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/SPECTRE_Logo.png"/> | |
| <p><del>People who are concerned about their privacy</del><br>Murderers, Terrorists, the Cobra Commander, Sauron, and Criminals</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <h2>Why use Tor?</h2> | |
| <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Tor-logo-2011-flat.svg/1280px-Tor-logo-2011-flat.svg.png"/> | |
| <p><del>*cough* NSA *cough* </del><br>Because you are a scoundrel, a knave, and you have criminal activities to hide. Why else would you want anonymity ?</p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="clear"></div> | |
| <hr> | |
| <div class="itemcontainer"> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <div class="g-plusone"></div> | |
| <a href="https://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-via="JordanRejaud">Tweet</a> | |
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| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <p> An obvious (I hope) satire by <br><a href="http://www.jordanrejaud.com/">Jordan Rejaud</a></p> | |
| </div> | |
| <div class="item"> | |
| <a href="https://twitter.com/JordanRejaud" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false">Follow @JordanRejaud</a> | |
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| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| </div> | |
| <script src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js" async defer></script> | |
| </body> | |
| </html> |
The word [de]criminalizating started as a typo, but I've decided to pretend as if I've meme-engineered it😈 . Feel free to comment here what you think it means.