The first version of this blog was entitled Framework Whipped. I attempted to compare the code that uses a framework to the concubines in a harem. I thought my comments were clever and funny; but many people found them offensive.
I sincerely apologize for that offense, it was not intentional. I broke Don Norman's law:
“If you think something is clever and sophisticated beware-it is probably self-indulgence.”
I will try to avoid mistakes like this in the future. I appreciate the conversation about them, and hope that it can continue constructively.
Let me also say this. My original post had made women the butt of a set of very bad jokes. This had not been my intent. Nor did I realize I had done it. It was pointed out to me later; and I agreed and apologized. I believe that was the right thing to do.
Pointing out that you are being made the butt of a set of bad jokes is an honorable thing to do. There's nothing wrong with standing up and saying "No I don't want to be treated that way."
I have 50,000 followers to my Twitter feed. If I inadvertently make a bad joke, and then don't correct it, others might decide to follow suit. I don't want that.
So to those of you who think I caved under some kind of pressure, you're wrong. I revised the blog because I was wrong.
Which is why I prefer to talk about "marginalisation" rather than "offense". The problem is not when you upset people with your comments, the problem is when your comments are likely to contribute to reinforcing negative behaviour (disparagement, bullying, exclusion, assault, whatever) towards less-advantaged or minority subgroups. That is objective and can even (in principle, at least, if not in practice) be measured.
Someone smarter than me wrote about this in more detail and greater clarity recently, but I'm damned if I can find the link now