Funny Technical Quips

funny-technical-quips.md

• Design is the process of changing your mind until you get it right.
• Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
• Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.
• A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. A work station...
• A picture is worth a thousand words, 1000 words takes about 5K, therefore no picture should be larger than 5K.
• I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
• Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
• CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
• The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?
• The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
• Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
• Unix is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
• Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
• I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
• I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
• Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31 :P
• A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says "I want a beer", barman says "you want a beer?" and tcp packet says "yes, a beer" .
• In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
• A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it's overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
• A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hang on just a second, I need to close the window."
• IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: "Sorry, can't let you leave…and you don't get any beer either…"
• The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them or not.
• The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
• A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: "here, but I'll need that back in an hour!
• DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
• I'd make a joke about UDP, but I don't know if anyone's actually listening…
• Q: What did one angry packet say to another? A: You are hopless!
• If you want to hear an ICMP joke, just ping me.
• Person 1: How did you like my HTTP 200 joke ? Person 2: It was OK.
• WHOIS going to tell us a Domain Name joke?
• I wanted to post an HTTP Quip in this thread but I am feeling kind of insecure about it.
• Dude 1 : Hey, did you watch that new movie called 'IP Address' ?? Dude 2: Which one, original or spoof ?
• I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.