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wireghoul/xntrikfacts.txt

Last active January 21, 2018 22:29
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Collection of #xntrikfacts without attribution...
Raw
xntrikfacts.txt
Xntrik dreams in base64
he can smell malware through the insulation on an ethernet cable
People talk about the time he turned left instead of right and the entire traffic system fell over
His moustache is classified as a cyberweapon under the Wassenaar Agreement.
- His moustache is also dual use
The top secret method of HTTP compression that is immune to BREACH/CRIME attacks: @xntrik's skinny jeans.
No client has ever accepted a risk @xntrik has raised.
He doesn't even see the JavaScript, he just sees: DOM exploitation vector, DOM exploitation vector, ...
He never misses a security conference
defcon goons are forced to do a shot of whisky if it's their first time meeting Xntrik
Everytime he pops a shell, a drum solo plays
His thoughts are POSIX compatible
He is immune to all known cyber pathogens
The top secret method of HTTP compression that is immune to BREACH/CRIME attacks: @xntrik's skinny jeans
Never seen @xntrik and Chuck Norris in the same room. Plus beard's look similar. Coincidence? I think not!
I heard his beard acts as listener for reverse shells
For every bug report filed @xntrik ‘s hacker beard grows by approx 0.122mm
He's the only @kiwicon presenter who can see the future
He can do no wrong
Your browser asks @xntrik for permission to install a plugin
His breath weapon de-obfuscates javascript
Xe is solving gendered language issues too complex for others.
is immune to all forms of cancer, even skoochs dank meme slack
He was an extra in Mr Robot Season 1 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ci8m-5-VAAEFtNe.jpg)
He once crossed the cyber streams like it was nothing
when he sneezes he sets off every IDS within a 1000km radius
He was once valued at 13.1 billion USD
Microsoft acquired LinkedIn for @xntrik
he knows when you've been sleeping. he knows when you're awake
@xntrik is a popular Silicon Valley spirit animal
Breach Notification: it has been identified that @xntrik has been infected by handsomeware 😎
xntrik being on holiday is the real reason @defcon is cancelled
xntrik does not have to submit his CPEs to maintain his CISSP
does not even know what CISSP is
@xntrik is sometimes referred to as "the CVE whisperer"
MITRE has already reserved blocks of CVEs from CVE2018-XXXXX to CVE2028-XXXXX for future advisories from @xntrik
When @xntrik's code runs, all branches are valid paths
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