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    Getting started on Heroku in only 100 steps.
I recently had an amazing interaction with a friend of mine getting started on Heroku for the first time.
It really highlights how badly we and the industry are failing new programmers and how much room there is to make the initial experience faster and smoother.
My friend had a small amount of programming-ish experience with SQL, and is technically-minded, but no existing development environment. Not a programmer, but has stated a desire to learn. Our goal was only this: to start using heroku, to push a hello-world app in order to see the product first hand.
Here's the story:
Friend: I want to understand Heroku beyond general, hand-wavy descriptions.
Me: You have to use it.
Friend: Okay, what should I do?
Me: Here's a quick start (https://devcenter.heroku.com/articles/quickstart). You should
run through the stuff on that page, and then pick one of the languages at the bottom
(doesn't matter which one) and do the language-specific quick start. Let me know if you
have any questions at all and we'll work through it together. It shouldn't take too long.
(the next day)
Friend: Okay I've been going through these instructions and I have a question.
I installed the "toolbelt" but I don't see Heroku anywhere. I searched in
spotlight for "Heroku" but nothing showed up.
Me: Open an app called 'Terminal'; you can type commands there. Try typing
"heroku login" and pressing return.
Friend: Okay that works, "would you like to generate one Y or N", what should I do?
Me: [This appears to be about SSH] Pick "Y" or just press return.
Friend: What's "ssh"?
Me: It's a way to run commands on another computer, sort of like how you're running
commands in Terminal on your laptop right now. I'll explain it more thoroughly later,
it doesn't matter for our purposes here.
[ It really doesn't matter. We're not really even using ssh for its
main purpose. It's a transport for a transport (git) for deploying your code. ]
Friend: Okay I'm done. Which language should I use? What's clojure? Is that a language?
What is django?
Me: Some of those are languages and some are frameworks. You should pick
either ruby or python to keep things quick and easy.
Friend: Okay I'll do python.
Friend: Some of these steps look the same as before. Do I have to repeat them?
Me: No, you can skip those. Start where it says "simple hello world application".
Friend: .

python & virtualenv

homebrew installation mistake


(yak shaving: "let's screen share so I can help you better";
try skype, doesn't seem to work. try google hangout, send
gchat invite, send hangout invite, install google video chat
plugin, which doesn't work the first time, restart browser,
install the plugin again, then join the hangout)

homebrew command on python guide gets a 404.

so detour to the homebrew web page


os x developer tools
reset apple id password
set up apple developer profile (what kind of developer are you?)
download command line tools for xcode (30 minutes!!!)
add 'export PATH=/usr/local/bin:$PATH' to ~/.bashrc (how?!?!)
brew install python --framework (another 30 minutes!!!)
add 'export PATH=/usr/local/share/python:$PATH' to ~/.bashrc (how?!?!)
easy_install pip ==> permission denied!!! (which easy_install is /usr/bin/easy_install)
going off script... sudo easy_install pip
pip install virtualenv ==> permission denied
sudo pip install virtualenv

now it's copy+pasting stuff from Getting Started with Python on Heroku
pretty smooth sailing


pip install Flask (has to download more crap)


create app.py (how???)

going off script... touch app.py, then open TextEdit


...


git push heroku master
==> the authenticity of ssh key ab:cd:... cannot be established
add to your keychain? (yes/no) (wtf?????)


heroku logs (timeout the first time!)