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Reddit Search API Response
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reddit_search_response.json
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>My girlfriend is currently away for two weeks and I’ve been looking after her 6-year-old Japanese Akita. Great looking dog but wow, this thing is the most anti-social animal I have ever encountered. I walk her twice a day and it tries to attack every other dog we see. It seems the bigger the other dog, the more aggressive she acts towards it. It’s scary as she weighs 46kg (101 lbs) and is pretty strong.</p>\n\n<p>I just came in the door from our morning walk. We came around a corner and came in contact with a man walking two Pomeranians. The man had a baby carrier strapped to his chest with his infant child inside it. Completely non-threatening in every visually possible way. My Akita went absolutely nuts. Did she really think she could take on TWO other dogs (and a man with a baby) at once?</p>\n\n<p>I got in the door and muttered to myself “Fuck this dog”. My last two dogs were Labrador Retrievers. These were both great social animals who looked forward to playing with other dogs. I never had to worry about their behavior around other animals or kids.</p>\n\n<p>I’ve read a few posts on here and I get the impression that aggressive behavior like this is common with Akitas. So I have to ask:</p>\n\n<p>“Why would someone want to own one of these dogs?”</p>\n\n<p>My only answer must be because people like the way they look and that’s it. </p>\n\n<p>To be honest, this dog reminds me of the hot girlfriend I had when I was 19. She looked great but was an asshole to all my friends who ended up not wanting me around when I was with her. Like this Akita, she also used to leave a lot of hair around the house, required a lot of medication and stole food.</p>\n\n<p>I wonder if it’s even appropriate to call these dogs “domesticated”. So, why do you own an Akita?</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "My girlfriend is currently away for two weeks and I’ve been looking after her 6-year-old Japanese Akita. Great looking dog but wow, this thing is the most anti-social animal I have ever encountered. I walk her twice a day and it tries to attack every other dog we see. It seems the bigger the other dog, the more aggressive she acts towards it. It’s scary as she weighs 46kg (101 lbs) and is pretty strong.\n\nI just came in the door from our morning walk. We came around a corner and came in contact with a man walking two Pomeranians. The man had a baby carrier strapped to his chest with his infant child inside it. Completely non-threatening in every visually possible way. My Akita went absolutely nuts. Did she really think she could take on TWO other dogs (and a man with a baby) at once?\n\nI got in the door and muttered to myself “Fuck this dog”. My last two dogs were Labrador Retrievers. These were both great social animals who looked forward to playing with other dogs. I never had to worry about their behavior around other animals or kids.\n\nI’ve read a few posts on here and I get the impression that aggressive behavior like this is common with Akitas. So I have to ask:\n\n“Why would someone want to own one of these dogs?”\n\nMy only answer must be because people like the way they look and that’s it. \n\nTo be honest, this dog reminds me of the hot girlfriend I had when I was 19. She looked great but was an asshole to all my friends who ended up not wanting me around when I was with her. Like this Akita, she also used to leave a lot of hair around the house, required a lot of medication and stole food.\n\nI wonder if it’s even appropriate to call these dogs “domesticated”. So, why do you own an Akita?\n",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Troubled and canceled offers are the ones that concern backers the most. They are also important indicators of how well/badly KF is working. Here are the lists of troubled and canceled offers that the community can build and provide more information upon. Please share the news with fellow backers when 1) a co-op is troubled 2) a co-op is canceled, repaid or refunded by commenting in this thread or PM me, and I'll update the post accordingly. This post can be very informative and beneficial for backers to quicly grasp the current status of the platform and how it is performing. </p>\n\n<h3>Everyone please upvote this post so it goes higher ranking on Google search so more people will see it!</h3>\n\n<p><em>Last update: 4/28</em></p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th align=\"center\">Completed(293)</th>\n<th align=\"center\">Ongoing(57)</th>\n<th align=\"center\">Troubled(64)</th>\n<th align=\"center\">Canceled(53)</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">62.7%</td>\n<td align=\"center\">12.2%</td>\n<td align=\"center\">13.7%</td>\n<td align=\"center\">11.3%</td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<h3>FAKE Co-Ops count: 3<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/601cti\">1</a></sup></h3>\n\n<ul>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/first-kickfurther-coop-antidote-chocolate\">Antidote $87.5K</a>: 3/22; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dfa4quv\">1</a></sup></h3></li>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/elastic-wonder-2nd-coop--100-backed-by-formal-po-assignment\">Elastic Wonder $175K</a>: 3/22; Refunded 50%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dfa4quv\">1</a></sup></h3></li>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/carl-posey\">Carl Posey x IDILVICE™ $44.4K</a>: 3/22; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/df86r3t\">1</a></sup></h3></li>\n</ul>\n\n<h3>Troubled Co-Ops count: 64</h3>\n\n<ul>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/christmas-season-is-coming-fast\">International Sports Fans</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-capital-for-kapture\">Kapture</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/status/3am-apparel\">Seventwentyfour LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/professor-jones-duffel-by-wellington--cromwell\">Wellington & Cromwell</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/titin-tech-sept2015\">TITIN Tech</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/humanoid-wakeboards-2016-wakeboard-boot-release\">Humanoid Wakeboards</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/merchmakr-roll-out\">DIY Screen Printing Supplies</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hoverboard-fund\">Generation T</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/emoji-cards\">Spicy Noodle Gaming Inc</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/ss16-ready-to-wear-collection\">THIS IS A LOVE SONG LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/new-england-made-porch-rockers\">New England Porch Rockers</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/harvey-prince-organics\">Harvey Prince Organics</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/voyage-swimwear-just-go\">VOYAGE SWIMWEAR</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/diy-cheese-making-kits\">Wine & Whey</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/pacific-mint---sea-salt--mint-toothpaste\">Goodwell + Co.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/van-glam-1st-offer\">Van Glam Hair Extensions</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/our-first-offer-funding-inventory-for-our-popular-solar-powered-fans\">Western Harmonics</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tuggo-dog-toys1458659768\">Tuggo Dog Toys</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/basecamp-deluxe-apple-device-charger\">Company 19 LCC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/super-pva-sponge\">Super Cool Products, Inc.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/plush-beez-round-3\">BBlessed by Brandy LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/replenishing-bumbleroot-inventory\">Bumbleroot Foods</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/buhel-conquer-summer-campaign\">iWABOO Inc</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/amara-summer-inventory\">AMARA Swimwear</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/get-sauced-at-or-least-well-seasoned-with-jjs-pantry\">JJ's Pantry</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/keeping-the-shelves-full-and-bringing-on-two-more-products\">Elevacity</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/knitted-belle-boutique-fallwinter-inventory-purchase\">Knitted Belle Boutique</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/suru-clothing-co\">Suru Clothing Co.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/surprise-my-pet-expansion\">Surprise My Pet</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/aro\">ARO</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/sunny-paradise-summer-campaign\">Sunny Paradise</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/elephant-coffee-importers-2nd-co-op\">Elephant Coffee Importers, LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/komega6-topical-ready-to-use-sport-essential-oil-blends-for-the-active-lifestyle\">Komega6</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/beard-balm-llc-round-2\">Beard Balm LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hemp-health-llc-1\">Hemp Health, LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/first-co-op\">Creative Concept Instruments LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/get-motion-sound-into-3rd-gear\">Motion Sound</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/clingless-curtain-keeper\">Clingless llc</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/perfect-gardens-1st-round\">Perfect Gardens</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-needed-for-television-shopping-network-feature\">ANKR</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/resort-2017-campaign\">Don't Blow The Illusion</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/breastfeeding-just-got-easier-for-working-women-an-innovative-pumping-camisole\">Bella Materna</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/organic-and-all-natural-pet-care\">Nava Pets, Inc.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/rise-n-shine-online-llc-3\">Rise 'N Shine Online, LLC</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/happy-leaf-kombucha-draft-campaign\">Happy Leaf Kombucha</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/our-second-co-op\">Banjo & Matilda</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/stojo-september-2016-campaign\">Stojo</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/freewells-surfshelf-product\">Freewell</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/titan-mixer-bottles-first-co-op\">TITAN Mixer Bottle</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/watchitude-spring-2016\">Watchitude, llc</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/juppy-llc-august-2016\">Juppy LLC</a><sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dgcm9rj/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/stocking-up-for-the-holidays-and-expanding-our-business\">Coco Jack</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/gents\">Gents</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/quick-easy-tasty-and-healthy\">Gluten Sugar Dairy Free LifeStyle</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/supafly-skate-co\">Supafly Skate Co.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bubbleball\">Bubbleball Inc.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/barnabas-clothing-co-inc-1\">Barnabas Clothing Co.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/snaplaces-2\">SnapLaces, Inc.</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/warrior-i\">United Spirit of America</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mi-ola-revolutionizing-beaches-around-the-world\">MI OLA</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/geekify-inc-round-2---the-hunt-for-merch-october\">Geekify Inc</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/gratuitously-handcrafted-modern-design-with-utility\">McLovebuddy</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/spring-break\">Medicine Werx</a></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mirage-pet-products-is-back-for-round-three\">Mirage Pet Products</a></p></li>\n</ul>\n\n<h3>Recently "out of troubled"</h3>\n\n<h3>Canceled Co-Ops count: 49+3</h3>\n\n<ul>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/roanoke-store-opening\">Marlie Madison $12.3K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/thumpextreme\">THUMP $9.9K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/sltough6-for-the-iphone-6\">Snow Lizard Products</a>: <strong>Repaid</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/leggages-first-offer\">Leggage</a>: <strong>Repaid</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/boingo-baby-zero-waste-diapers-acessories\">Boingo Baby $17.7</a>: 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/restocking-inventory-of-our-unique-comic-book-frames\">Comic Book Displays $9.4K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/maxaxe-kickfurther-debut\">Max Axe Guitar $10.3K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/kayson-golf-customized-kg-putters\">Kayson Golf Ltd. $3.1K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-new-face-of-pleasure\">My Little Vixen LLC $3.1K</a>: <strong>Refunded</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/fashion-accessory-brand-television-debut\">WILLACY $15.5K</a>: 4/27/16; 0%/60%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-mulberry-silk-co\">The Mulberry Silk Co $20.5K</a>: Recouped 16.5% (5.5% inventory, 11% liquidation)/46.2%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/d9mcrj5/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/gemphones-jewelry-earphones\">GemPhones, Inc. </a>: <strong>Repaid</strong></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/baboon-bamboo\">Baboon Bamboo $10.9K</a>: 5/5/16; 0%/83%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/nori-lights-restock-and-expansion\">Nori Lights $19.6K</a>: 6/16/16; 0%/99.975%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hautebutch-fallwinter-15\">HAUTEBUTCH, Inc $19.1</a>: </p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/dog-cat-winter-parkas\">Nip and Bones $7.2K</a>: 5/5/16; 0%/75%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/infusing-your-life-with-healthy-choices\">Sweet Tea Factory, LLC $8.2K</a>: 2/16/16; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/spring-collection-2016\">R.B. of McD INC. $7.6K</a>: Refunded 80%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mcmarden-ss16\">McMarden $6.3K</a>: Refunded 80%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/three-fifty-nine-autumnwinter-16-collection\">359 Degrees LLC $52K</a>: Refunded 50%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p>Nooka Inc $40.9K: Refunded<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dcnfen2/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/innarah-inc-international\">INNARAH INC $37.8K</a>: 7/7/16; 0%/67%1</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/buddha-babe-growth-plan\">Buddha Babe $7.6K</a>: 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/airbacs-2nd-offer\">Airbac $72.5K</a>: 8/30/16; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/springsummer-2016-stash-series\">Green Arbor Clothing Co. $32.6K</a>: 8/30/16; 0%/86%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-worldstore-at-cleveland\">Kulturpon Incorporated $16.5K</a>: 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-campaign\">M Andrews Sartorial Luxury $23.2K</a>:</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/an-omniball-for-everyone\">FEWDM Fitness $111.9K</a>: 9/27/16; Repaid 17%/66%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5agho1/fewdm_fitness_an_omniball_for_everyone/\">1</a></sup> <sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5sa48h/fewdm_fitness_the_epitome_of_why_kf_is_failing/\">2</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/raising-for-soles\">Authentic Sole, LLC $51.8K</a>: 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/jorel-parker-round-2\">Jorel Parker $80.3K</a>: 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tonix-denver--first-offer\">Tonix Inc. $19.1K</a>: 11/30/16; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dakn5ao/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/montebello-kitchens-1st-offer\">Montebello Kitchens, LLC $3.6K</a>: 12/1/16; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dc8veef/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/round-three\">ProjectorTeam Inc. $21.1K</a>: 12/13/16; Repaid 20%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/db4z74l/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/brain-pad-jaw-joint-protector\">Brain-Pad, Inc. $20K</a>: 12/24/16; 0%/19.2%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dcen6n7/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/vermont-workwear-llp\">Williston Workwear $2.5K</a>: 12/28/16; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-boost\">Elusion Clothing $5.1K</a>: 12/29/16; 0%/83%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dbrhn3l/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=front&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=KFTalk\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/saavy-naturals-first-coop\">Saavy Naturals $63.7K</a>: 1/2/17; 0%/80%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/increase-inventory-for-jawbreaking-s-fall-15-clothing-collection\">Jawbreaking $23K</a>: 1/4/17; 0%/23%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/sockwa---help-us-feed-the-demand\">Sockwa $69.9K</a>: 1/28/17; 0%/50%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/luxe-naturals-first-campaign\">Luxe Natural Products $53K</a>: 1/28/17; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dd0okqc\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-capital\">Nada Bottle $102K</a>: 2/1/17; 0%/84%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5peipm/_/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bitybean-llc\">Bitybean llc $10.8K</a>: 2/7/17; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/monsieur-fox-fallwinter-season-campaign\">Monsieur Fox $37.6K</a>: 2/17/17; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/code-green-launches-jacob-davis-denim\">Code Green Apparel Corporation $104.2K</a>: 2/19/17; 0%/100%<sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/de2u6u8/\">1</a></sup></p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-tulle-boxs-first-co-op\">The Tulle Box $4.4K</a>: 2/24/17; 0%/100%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/getting-saucy-with-deaf-man\">Deaf Man's BBQ Sauce $23.3K</a>: 3/22/17; 0%/83%</p></li>\n<li><p><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bring-more-gelato-to-more-americans\">Divino</a><sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/de1f7eh/\">1</a></sup> <sup><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dfudqdy/\">2</a>:</sup> Inventory Relinquished</p></li>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/dermo-tech-inc\">Dermo-tech, Inc</a>: Inventory Relinquished (tentative)</h3></li>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/partnership-collection\">Nephews</a>: Inventory Relinquished</h3></li>\n<li><h3><a href=\"https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tlc-tv-special-airing--expansion\">Xpandingminds / Xespansione</a>: 4/25/17; 0%/100%</h3></li>\n</ul>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Troubled and canceled offers are the ones that concern backers the most. They are also important indicators of how well/badly KF is working. Here are the lists of troubled and canceled offers that the community can build and provide more information upon. Please share the news with fellow backers when 1) a co-op is troubled 2) a co-op is canceled, repaid or refunded by commenting in this thread or PM me, and I'll update the post accordingly. This post can be very informative and beneficial for backers to quicly grasp the current status of the platform and how it is performing. \n\n###Everyone please upvote this post so it goes higher ranking on Google search so more people will see it!\n\n*Last update: 4/28*\n\nCompleted(293) | Ongoing(57) | Troubled(64) | Canceled(53)\n:--:|:--:|:--:|:--:\n62.7% | 12.2% | 13.7% | 11.3%\n\n###FAKE Co-Ops count: 3^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/601cti)\n\n* ###[Antidote $87.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/first-kickfurther-coop-antidote-chocolate): 3/22; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dfa4quv)\n\n* ###[Elastic Wonder $175K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/elastic-wonder-2nd-coop--100-backed-by-formal-po-assignment): 3/22; Refunded 50%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dfa4quv)\n\n* ###[Carl Posey x IDILVICE™ $44.4K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/carl-posey): 3/22; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/df86r3t)\n\n###Troubled Co-Ops count: 64\n\n* [International Sports Fans](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/christmas-season-is-coming-fast)\n\n* [Kapture](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-capital-for-kapture)\n\n* [Seventwentyfour LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/status/3am-apparel)\n\n* [Wellington & Cromwell](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/professor-jones-duffel-by-wellington--cromwell)\n\n* [TITIN Tech](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/titin-tech-sept2015)\n\n* [Humanoid Wakeboards](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/humanoid-wakeboards-2016-wakeboard-boot-release)\n\n* [DIY Screen Printing Supplies](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/merchmakr-roll-out)\n\n* [Generation T](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hoverboard-fund)\n\n* [Spicy Noodle Gaming Inc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/emoji-cards)\n\n* [THIS IS A LOVE SONG LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/ss16-ready-to-wear-collection)\n\n* [New England Porch Rockers](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/new-england-made-porch-rockers)\n\n* [Harvey Prince Organics](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/harvey-prince-organics)\n\n* [VOYAGE SWIMWEAR](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/voyage-swimwear-just-go)\n\n* [Wine & Whey](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/diy-cheese-making-kits)\n\n* [Goodwell + Co.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/pacific-mint---sea-salt--mint-toothpaste)\n\n* [Van Glam Hair Extensions](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/van-glam-1st-offer)\n\n* [Western Harmonics](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/our-first-offer-funding-inventory-for-our-popular-solar-powered-fans)\n\n* [Tuggo Dog Toys](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tuggo-dog-toys1458659768)\n\n* [Company 19 LCC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/basecamp-deluxe-apple-device-charger)\n\n* [Super Cool Products, Inc.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/super-pva-sponge)\n\n* [BBlessed by Brandy LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/plush-beez-round-3)\n\n* [Bumbleroot Foods](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/replenishing-bumbleroot-inventory)\n\n* [iWABOO Inc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/buhel-conquer-summer-campaign)\n\n* [AMARA Swimwear](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/amara-summer-inventory)\n\n* [JJ's Pantry](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/get-sauced-at-or-least-well-seasoned-with-jjs-pantry)\n\n* [Elevacity](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/keeping-the-shelves-full-and-bringing-on-two-more-products)\n\n* [Knitted Belle Boutique](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/knitted-belle-boutique-fallwinter-inventory-purchase)\n\n* [Suru Clothing Co.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/suru-clothing-co)\n\n* [Surprise My Pet](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/surprise-my-pet-expansion)\n\n* [ARO](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/aro)\n\n* [Sunny Paradise](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/sunny-paradise-summer-campaign)\n\n* [Elephant Coffee Importers, LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/elephant-coffee-importers-2nd-co-op)\n\n* [Komega6](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/komega6-topical-ready-to-use-sport-essential-oil-blends-for-the-active-lifestyle)\n\n* [Beard Balm LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/beard-balm-llc-round-2)\n\n* [Hemp Health, LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hemp-health-llc-1)\n\n* [Creative Concept Instruments LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/first-co-op)\n\n* [Motion Sound](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/get-motion-sound-into-3rd-gear)\n\n* [Clingless llc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/clingless-curtain-keeper)\n\n* [Perfect Gardens](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/perfect-gardens-1st-round)\n\n* [ANKR](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-needed-for-television-shopping-network-feature)\n\n* [Don't Blow The Illusion](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/resort-2017-campaign)\n\n* [Bella Materna](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/breastfeeding-just-got-easier-for-working-women-an-innovative-pumping-camisole)\n\n* [Nava Pets, Inc.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/organic-and-all-natural-pet-care)\n\n* [Rise 'N Shine Online, LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/rise-n-shine-online-llc-3)\n\n* [Happy Leaf Kombucha](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/happy-leaf-kombucha-draft-campaign)\n\n* [Banjo & Matilda](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/our-second-co-op)\n\n* [Stojo](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/stojo-september-2016-campaign)\n\n* [Freewell](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/freewells-surfshelf-product)\n\n* [TITAN Mixer Bottle](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/titan-mixer-bottles-first-co-op)\n\n* [Watchitude, llc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/watchitude-spring-2016)\n\n* [Juppy LLC](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/juppy-llc-august-2016)^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dgcm9rj/)\n\n* [Coco Jack](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/stocking-up-for-the-holidays-and-expanding-our-business)\n\n* [Gents](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/gents)\n\n* [Gluten Sugar Dairy Free LifeStyle](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/quick-easy-tasty-and-healthy)\n\n* [Supafly Skate Co.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/supafly-skate-co)\n\n* [Bubbleball Inc.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bubbleball)\n\n* [Barnabas Clothing Co.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/barnabas-clothing-co-inc-1)\n\n* [SnapLaces, Inc.](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/snaplaces-2)\n\n* [United Spirit of America](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/warrior-i)\n\n* [MI OLA](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mi-ola-revolutionizing-beaches-around-the-world)\n\n* [Geekify Inc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/geekify-inc-round-2---the-hunt-for-merch-october)\n\n* [McLovebuddy](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/gratuitously-handcrafted-modern-design-with-utility)\n\n* [Medicine Werx](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/spring-break)\n\n* [Mirage Pet Products](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mirage-pet-products-is-back-for-round-three)\n\n###Recently \"out of troubled\"\n\n###Canceled Co-Ops count: 49+3\n\n* [Marlie Madison $12.3K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/roanoke-store-opening): **Refunded**\n\n* [THUMP $9.9K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/thumpextreme): **Refunded**\n\n* [Snow Lizard Products](https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/sltough6-for-the-iphone-6): **Repaid**\n\n* [Leggage](https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/leggages-first-offer): **Repaid**\n\n* [Boingo Baby $17.7](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/boingo-baby-zero-waste-diapers-acessories): 0%/100%\n\n* [Comic Book Displays $9.4K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/restocking-inventory-of-our-unique-comic-book-frames): **Refunded**\n\n* [Max Axe Guitar $10.3K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/maxaxe-kickfurther-debut): **Refunded**\n\n* [Kayson Golf Ltd. $3.1K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/kayson-golf-customized-kg-putters): **Refunded**\n\n* [My Little Vixen LLC $3.1K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-new-face-of-pleasure): **Refunded**\n\n* [WILLACY $15.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/fashion-accessory-brand-television-debut): 4/27/16; 0%/60%\n\n* [The Mulberry Silk Co $20.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-mulberry-silk-co): Recouped 16.5% (5.5% inventory, 11% liquidation)/46.2%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/d9mcrj5/)\n\n* [GemPhones, Inc. ](https://www.kickfurther.com/canceled-co-op/gemphones-jewelry-earphones): **Repaid**\n\n* [Baboon Bamboo $10.9K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/baboon-bamboo): 5/5/16; 0%/83%\n\n* [Nori Lights $19.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/nori-lights-restock-and-expansion): 6/16/16; 0%/99.975%\n\n* [HAUTEBUTCH, Inc $19.1](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/hautebutch-fallwinter-15): \n\n* [Nip and Bones $7.2K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/dog-cat-winter-parkas): 5/5/16; 0%/75%\n\n* [Sweet Tea Factory, LLC $8.2K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/infusing-your-life-with-healthy-choices): 2/16/16; 0%/100%\n\n* [R.B. of McD INC. $7.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/spring-collection-2016): Refunded 80%/100%\n\n* [McMarden $6.3K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/mcmarden-ss16): Refunded 80%/100%\n\n* [359 Degrees LLC $52K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/three-fifty-nine-autumnwinter-16-collection): Refunded 50%/100%\n\n* Nooka Inc $40.9K: Refunded^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dcnfen2/)\n\n* [INNARAH INC $37.8K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/innarah-inc-international): 7/7/16; 0%/67%1\n\n* [Buddha Babe $7.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/buddha-babe-growth-plan): 0%/100%\n\n* [Airbac $72.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/airbacs-2nd-offer): 8/30/16; 0%/100%\n\n* [Green Arbor Clothing Co. $32.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/springsummer-2016-stash-series): 8/30/16; 0%/86%\n\n* [Kulturpon Incorporated $16.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-worldstore-at-cleveland): 0%/100%\n\n* [M Andrews Sartorial Luxury $23.2K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-campaign):\n\n* [FEWDM Fitness $111.9K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/an-omniball-for-everyone): 9/27/16; Repaid 17%/66%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5agho1/fewdm_fitness_an_omniball_for_everyone/) ^[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5sa48h/fewdm_fitness_the_epitome_of_why_kf_is_failing/)\n\n* [Authentic Sole, LLC $51.8K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/raising-for-soles): 0%/100%\n\n* [Jorel Parker $80.3K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/jorel-parker-round-2): 0%/100%\n\n* [Tonix Inc. $19.1K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tonix-denver--first-offer): 11/30/16; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dakn5ao/)\n\n* [Montebello Kitchens, LLC $3.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/montebello-kitchens-1st-offer): 12/1/16; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dc8veef/)\n\n* [ProjectorTeam Inc. $21.1K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/round-three): 12/13/16; Repaid 20%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/db4z74l/)\n\n* [Brain-Pad, Inc. $20K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/brain-pad-jaw-joint-protector): 12/24/16; 0%/19.2%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dcen6n7/)\n\n* [Williston Workwear $2.5K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/vermont-workwear-llp): 12/28/16; 0%/100%\n\n* [Elusion Clothing $5.1K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-boost): 12/29/16; 0%/83%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dbrhn3l/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=front&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=KFTalk)\n\n* [Saavy Naturals $63.7K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/saavy-naturals-first-coop): 1/2/17; 0%/80%\n\n* [Jawbreaking $23K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/increase-inventory-for-jawbreaking-s-fall-15-clothing-collection): 1/4/17; 0%/23%\n\n* [Sockwa $69.9K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/sockwa---help-us-feed-the-demand): 1/28/17; 0%/50%\n\n* [Luxe Natural Products $53K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/luxe-naturals-first-campaign): 1/28/17; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5az75c/_/dd0okqc)\n\n* [Nada Bottle $102K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/inventory-capital): 2/1/17; 0%/84%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/kftalk/comments/5peipm/_/)\n\n* [Bitybean llc $10.8K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bitybean-llc): 2/7/17; 0%/100%\n\n* [Monsieur Fox $37.6K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/monsieur-fox-fallwinter-season-campaign): 2/17/17; 0%/100%\n\n* [Code Green Apparel Corporation $104.2K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/code-green-launches-jacob-davis-denim): 2/19/17; 0%/100%^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/de2u6u8/)\n\n* [The Tulle Box $4.4K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/the-tulle-boxs-first-co-op): 2/24/17; 0%/100%\n\n* [Deaf Man's BBQ Sauce $23.3K](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/getting-saucy-with-deaf-man): 3/22/17; 0%/83%\n\n* [Divino](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/bring-more-gelato-to-more-americans)^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/de1f7eh/) ^[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/KFTalk/comments/5az75c/report_your_troubled_offers_here_for_better/dfudqdy/): Inventory Relinquished\n\n* ###[Dermo-tech, Inc](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/dermo-tech-inc): Inventory Relinquished (tentative)\n\n* ###[Nephews](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/partnership-collection): Inventory Relinquished\n\n* ###[Xpandingminds / Xespansione](https://www.kickfurther.com/coop/tlc-tv-special-airing--expansion): 4/25/17; 0%/100%",
"likes": null,
"suggested_sort": null,
"user_reports": [],
"secure_media": null,
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm interested to see on if people who follow box office go to the theater more and if they are contributing to it themselves. I'll start with what I have seen since that is only fair (also if you are wondering why I see so many damn movies its because of a card that lets me see unlimited movies for a set price about £17-18) looking forward to seeing your lists :)</p>\n\n<p><strong>January</strong></p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Date</th>\n<th>Film</th>\n<th>Notes</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>3</td>\n<td>Silence</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>3</td>\n<td>A Monster Calls</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>7</td>\n<td>Rogue One: A Star Wars Story</td>\n<td>Second time</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>7</td>\n<td>Assassin's Creed</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>13</td>\n<td>Manchester by the Sea</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>14</td>\n<td>La La Land</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>14</td>\n<td>Live By Night</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>14</td>\n<td>The Bye Bye Man</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>22</td>\n<td>xXx: The Return of Xander Cage</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>22</td>\n<td>Split</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>22</td>\n<td>Lion</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>Hacksaw Ridge</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>La La Land</td>\n<td>Second Time</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>Sing 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<p><strong>February</strong></p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Date</th>\n<th>Film</th>\n<th>Notes</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>4</td>\n<td>Rings</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>4</td>\n<td>Gold</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>4</td>\n<td>The LEGO Batman Movie 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>12</td>\n<td>La La Land</td>\n<td>Third time</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>12</td>\n<td>The Space Between Us</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>19</td>\n<td>John Wick: Chapter Two</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>19</td>\n<td>Hidden Figures</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>19</td>\n<td>The Great Wall</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>21</td>\n<td>20th Century Women</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>21</td>\n<td>Moonlight</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<p><strong>March</strong></p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Date</th>\n<th>Film</th>\n<th>Notes</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>2</td>\n<td>Logan</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>11</td>\n<td>Viceroy's House</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>11</td>\n<td>Kong: Skull Island 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>11</td>\n<td>Logan</td>\n<td>Second Watch</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>19</td>\n<td>Get Out</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>19</td>\n<td>Beauty and the Beast 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>25</td>\n<td>Power Rangers</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>25</td>\n<td>Life</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>25</td>\n<td>CHiPs</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>25</td>\n<td>Smurfs: The Lost Village</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>26</td>\n<td>Beauty and the Beast</td>\n<td>Second Viewing (for Mother's Day in UK)</td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<p><strong>April</strong></p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Date</th>\n<th>Film</th>\n<th>Notes</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>2</td>\n<td>Ghost in the Shell 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>2</td>\n<td>Free Fire</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>2</td>\n<td>The Boss Baby 3D</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>9</td>\n<td>Going in Style</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>9</td>\n<td>Table 19</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>14</td>\n<td>Fast & Furious 8</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>14</td>\n<td>The Sense of an Ending</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>21</td>\n<td>The Zookeeper's Wife</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>21</td>\n<td>Rules Don't Apply</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>23</td>\n<td>Finding Fatimah</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>23</td>\n<td>Their Finest</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>23</td>\n<td>Unforgettable</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>28</td>\n<td>Lady MacBeth</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>A Dog's Purpose</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>The Promise</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>29</td>\n<td>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<p><strong>May</strong> (I'll add what I'm seeing this weekend)</p>\n\n<table><thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Date</th>\n<th>Film</th>\n<th>Notes</th>\n</tr>\n</thead><tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>1</td>\n<td>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (IMAX 3D)</td>\n<td>Second watch</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>8</td>\n<td>Sleepless</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>8</td>\n<td>Baahubali 2: The Conclusion</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>8</td>\n<td>Unlocked</td>\n<td></td>\n</tr>\n</tbody></table>\n\n<p>Total: 56</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I'm interested to see on if people who follow box office go to the theater more and if they are contributing to it themselves. I'll start with what I have seen since that is only fair (also if you are wondering why I see so many damn movies its because of a card that lets me see unlimited movies for a set price about £17-18) looking forward to seeing your lists :)\n\n**January**\n\nDate | Film | Notes\n----|----|-----\n3 | Silence | \n3 | A Monster Calls | \n7 | Rogue One: A Star Wars Story | Second time\n7 | Assassin's Creed | \n13 | Manchester by the Sea | \n14 | La La Land | \n14 | Live By Night | \n14 | The Bye Bye Man | \n22 | xXx: The Return of Xander Cage | \n22 | Split | \n22 | Lion | \n29 | Hacksaw Ridge | \n29 | La La Land | Second Time\n29 | Sing 3D | \n\n**February**\n\nDate | Film | Notes\n----|----|-----\n4 | Rings | \n4 | Gold | \n4 | The LEGO Batman Movie 3D | \n12 | La La Land | Third time\n12 | The Space Between Us | \n19 | John Wick: Chapter Two | \n19 | Hidden Figures | \n19 | The Great Wall | \n21 | 20th Century Women | \n21 | Moonlight | \n\n**March**\n\nDate | Film | Notes\n----|----|-----\n2 | Logan | \n11 | Viceroy's House | \n11 | Kong: Skull Island 3D | \n11 | Logan | Second Watch\n19 | Get Out | \n19 | Beauty and the Beast 3D | \n25 | Power Rangers | \n25 | Life | \n25 | CHiPs | \n25 | Smurfs: The Lost Village | \n26 | Beauty and the Beast | Second Viewing (for Mother's Day in UK)\n\n**April**\n\nDate | Film | Notes\n----|----|-----\n2 | Ghost in the Shell 3D | \n2 | Free Fire | \n2 | The Boss Baby 3D | \n9 | Going in Style | \n9 | Table 19 | \n14 | Fast & Furious 8 | \n14 | The Sense of an Ending | \n21 | The Zookeeper's Wife | \n21 | Rules Don't Apply | \n23 | Finding Fatimah | \n23 | Their Finest | \n23 | Unforgettable | \n28 | Lady MacBeth | \n29 | A Dog's Purpose | \n29 | The Promise | \n29 | Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 | \n\n**May** (I'll add what I'm seeing this weekend)\n\nDate | Film | Notes\n----|----|-----\n1 | Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (IMAX 3D) | Second watch\n8 | Sleepless | \n8 | Baahubali 2: The Conclusion | \n8 | Unlocked | \n\nTotal: 56\n",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hey <a href=\"/r/relationships\">r/relationships</a>, I need some help. Writing this in mobile, sorry for spelling!</p>\n\n<p>Background: I am living in a foreign country by myself with no support from family + a dog. I currently live with my partner and study full time as well as working 2 jobs. We have been together for 2 years.</p>\n\n<p>Im writing this halfway through a bottle of wine and tears in my eyes. My relationship with my partner was wonderful in the begining but it fizzled out to the point that when I look at him it feels like I get a knot in my throat. Every day it is the same routine and nothing exciting is happening.</p>\n\n<p>He is a pretty simple guy, he is okay with working a dead end job with no high school education and living in a house that his parents bought. He has no ambition for the future or any life goals. I mean, as long it floats his boat, its chill. I am not saying that he is a loser, but I wish he had a little more passion in life than playing Dota2 and Tibia. </p>\n\n<p>I am not saying that he is a terrible person. I am arrogant, proud, jealous(not of other girls, its for other's success) and selfish at a times and can be very stubborn too (the bad kind of stubborn). The problem is that I want to leave but I have no where to go, I would be completely homeless with a dog in a foreign land. I am halfway through my studies and my budget is pretty tight atm (also the city I live in is notoriously expensive). </p>\n\n<p>I can't go back to my homeland (the economy is terrible/no future for my generation) I have 2 years left in my studies, and faking being content around my bf is getting pretty tireing. The sex is non-existent, and he barely touches me (I think I look okay?) and never wants to do anything other than to play videogames every day. He told me once that he was not sexually attracted to me as he was once before (I haven't changed, maybe gained like 3 kilos but that's all) He feels pretty detached and distant all of the time. </p>\n\n<p>I try to put in effort to do things I know he enjoys (planing dates, buying beer for him, standard gf stuff) but it feels like I get nothing back/no response to my actions.</p>\n\n<p>Don't get me wrong, my bf sounds like he is a loser, but he is MY loser! He is trustworthy, reliable, easy going, smart, selfless, carismatic, etc etc.I love him to pieces but I am tired of pretending that everything is fine and dandy (because its not) and I have no idea how to explain that to him.</p>\n\n<p>My only option is to try to fix things because being homeless is NOT an option for me. <a href=\"/r/relationships\">r/relationships</a>, please help me with a plan on how to get my relationship back on track!</p>\n\n<p>TL:DR: My relationship with my boyfriend turned stale a year ago, can't end it. Need to know how to work it so we survive.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hey r/relationships, I need some help. Writing this in mobile, sorry for spelling!\n\nBackground: I am living in a foreign country by myself with no support from family + a dog. I currently live with my partner and study full time as well as working 2 jobs. We have been together for 2 years.\n\nIm writing this halfway through a bottle of wine and tears in my eyes. My relationship with my partner was wonderful in the begining but it fizzled out to the point that when I look at him it feels like I get a knot in my throat. Every day it is the same routine and nothing exciting is happening.\n\nHe is a pretty simple guy, he is okay with working a dead end job with no high school education and living in a house that his parents bought. He has no ambition for the future or any life goals. I mean, as long it floats his boat, its chill. I am not saying that he is a loser, but I wish he had a little more passion in life than playing Dota2 and Tibia. \n\nI am not saying that he is a terrible person. I am arrogant, proud, jealous(not of other girls, its for other's success) and selfish at a times and can be very stubborn too (the bad kind of stubborn). The problem is that I want to leave but I have no where to go, I would be completely homeless with a dog in a foreign land. I am halfway through my studies and my budget is pretty tight atm (also the city I live in is notoriously expensive). \n\nI can't go back to my homeland (the economy is terrible/no future for my generation) I have 2 years left in my studies, and faking being content around my bf is getting pretty tireing. The sex is non-existent, and he barely touches me (I think I look okay?) and never wants to do anything other than to play videogames every day. He told me once that he was not sexually attracted to me as he was once before (I haven't changed, maybe gained like 3 kilos but that's all) He feels pretty detached and distant all of the time. \n\nI try to put in effort to do things I know he enjoys (planing dates, buying beer for him, standard gf stuff) but it feels like I get nothing back/no response to my actions.\n\nDon't get me wrong, my bf sounds like he is a loser, but he is MY loser! He is trustworthy, reliable, easy going, smart, selfless, carismatic, etc etc.I love him to pieces but I am tired of pretending that everything is fine and dandy (because its not) and I have no idea how to explain that to him.\n\nMy only option is to try to fix things because being homeless is NOT an option for me. r/relationships, please help me with a plan on how to get my relationship back on track!\n\nTL:DR: My relationship with my boyfriend turned stale a year ago, can't end it. Need to know how to work it so we survive.",
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"selftext": "Cursed Amygdala i can get in one try now. Pthumerian elder. No problem. \n I have to go into this small ass room with 2 of these pieces of shit and I die over and over. I'm seriously on my 10th attempt getting through this room.\n How does a dog have unlimited hyper armor and stamina? Seriously, they fucking laugh at my L1 attacks then proceed to tag team fuck my face. Done ranting",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p><a href=\"http://imgur.com/a/qiRko\">Album</a> </p>\n\n<p>I ordered these off Grailed for just over half retail. They were listed as 10.5, and I had read a review recommending sizing down a half, so it seemed like they should work. Turned out the seller had already sold those and only had 11 (Didn't ask why he had multiple pairs in different sizes, don't care). After going to the Yuketen site and finding that they recommend sizing down from <em>their moccasin sizes</em>, I decided to just go for it. </p>\n\n<p>They arrived super quick. Original box (with a tear) and dust bag. Seemed like maybe only the left shoe had been tried on (right shoe still had the factory knot in the laces) but never worn. The first thing you notice is how heavy they are. Some hiking boots have Vibram ripple soles like these, just to give you a sense. The next thing is how high the arch support is (done on purpose to prevent over-pronation). I would describe the color of the suede as "midnight blue" rather than navy (1st and last pics in the album are closer to the perceived color than the full sun pics), and in lower light they look black. Stitching job looks pretty tight all around. </p>\n\n<p>Length fit actually <em>is</em> TTS--a 10.5 would have been too tight in the toes near the tip. So, "whew!" Same length as my Trumans. Toe box is roomy, and width is maybe a <em>little</em> wider than D, but the open lacing is forgiving in that regard. </p>\n\n<p>Took the dog for a walk, and the ripple soles will take some getting used to. After a couple hours of wearing them around the house, I'm getting the hang of them, and don't really notice the weight anymore. They mostly just feel like any other shoe that needs breaking in. And I'm really happy with the look! </p>\n\n<ul>\n<li>Manufacturer: Yuketen<br/></li>\n<li>Model: Plain Toe with Ripple Sole - Navy Suede<br/></li>\n<li>Style: Derby/Blucher<br/></li>\n<li>Size: 11 </li>\n<li>Construction: 360 Goodyear Welt, "Benchmade"<br/></li>\n<li>Leather: Suede with calf-lined vamp/quarters<br/></li>\n<li>Sole: Vibram ripple sole, leather mid-sole with EVA wedges<br/></li>\n<li>Country of Origin: Mexico<br/></li>\n</ul>\n\n<p>TL;DR: Heavy, color darker than expected, TTS length, ripple sole is weird, love the look.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "[Album](http://imgur.com/a/qiRko) \n \nI ordered these off Grailed for just over half retail. They were listed as 10.5, and I had read a review recommending sizing down a half, so it seemed like they should work. Turned out the seller had already sold those and only had 11 (Didn't ask why he had multiple pairs in different sizes, don't care). After going to the Yuketen site and finding that they recommend sizing down from *their moccasin sizes*, I decided to just go for it. \n \nThey arrived super quick. Original box (with a tear) and dust bag. Seemed like maybe only the left shoe had been tried on (right shoe still had the factory knot in the laces) but never worn. The first thing you notice is how heavy they are. Some hiking boots have Vibram ripple soles like these, just to give you a sense. The next thing is how high the arch support is (done on purpose to prevent over-pronation). I would describe the color of the suede as \"midnight blue\" rather than navy (1st and last pics in the album are closer to the perceived color than the full sun pics), and in lower light they look black. Stitching job looks pretty tight all around. \n \nLength fit actually *is* TTS--a 10.5 would have been too tight in the toes near the tip. So, \"whew!\" Same length as my Trumans. Toe box is roomy, and width is maybe a *little* wider than D, but the open lacing is forgiving in that regard. \n \nTook the dog for a walk, and the ripple soles will take some getting used to. After a couple hours of wearing them around the house, I'm getting the hang of them, and don't really notice the weight anymore. They mostly just feel like any other shoe that needs breaking in. And I'm really happy with the look! \n \n- Manufacturer: Yuketen \n- Model: Plain Toe with Ripple Sole - Navy Suede \n- Style: Derby/Blucher \n- Size: 11 \n- Construction: 360 Goodyear Welt, \"Benchmade\" \n- Leather: Suede with calf-lined vamp/quarters \n- Sole: Vibram ripple sole, leather mid-sole with EVA wedges \n- Country of Origin: Mexico \n \nTL;DR: Heavy, color darker than expected, TTS length, ripple sole is weird, love the look.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Episodes of vomiting/diarrhea. Weren't sure what was going on with him so rushed him to emergency vet. Performed x-rays to look for gastrointestinal obstruction, results were clear of any blockage. Was administered anti-nausea medication and fluids via IV. We had him on bland diet of boiled chicken and white rice for 4 days after 24 hr cessation of food. Gradually mixed dry dog food back into diet, and is now experiencing vomiting and diarrhea again. Energy and behavior is otherwise normal.</p>\n\n<p>I have also posted this to <a href=\"/r/askVet\">r/askVet</a> for additional help. </p>\n\n<p>I'm beginning to wonder if the food he's on is not agreeing with his stomach. I hate to see my little dude struggling like this even though his energy and behavior is normal. </p>\n\n<p>We take him to local dog parks frequently so I'm beginning to worry he's gotten something from a dog/water dishes at the dog parks (virus, worms, etc?) </p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Episodes of vomiting/diarrhea. Weren't sure what was going on with him so rushed him to emergency vet. Performed x-rays to look for gastrointestinal obstruction, results were clear of any blockage. Was administered anti-nausea medication and fluids via IV. We had him on bland diet of boiled chicken and white rice for 4 days after 24 hr cessation of food. Gradually mixed dry dog food back into diet, and is now experiencing vomiting and diarrhea again. Energy and behavior is otherwise normal.\n\nI have also posted this to r/askVet for additional help. \n\nI'm beginning to wonder if the food he's on is not agreeing with his stomach. I hate to see my little dude struggling like this even though his energy and behavior is normal. \n\nWe take him to local dog parks frequently so I'm beginning to worry he's gotten something from a dog/water dishes at the dog parks (virus, worms, etc?) ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Examples. I see a cute dog or cat, and I think about letting our dogs out to kill it and eat it. But I don't actually want to do this, and when they get out on their own (or we're walking them) I always try my hardest to keep our dogs away so they can't hurt the animal they're trying to attack. Sometimes they're just too strong, or the victim animal walks TO our dogs (sometimes playful, friendly, not even vicious) and our biggest dog will go demonic dog on them and put as much of them as he can in his mouth, if it's a small enough dog he will put the whole animal in his mouth, pick it up, and try to kill it, yesterday this happened and our smaller dog joined in. I was forced to slam my fists into the side of our big dog HARD, because it's physically impossible to pull him away when he has an animal in his mouth, he won't let go, and the victim animal will just get more hurt from our dog's teeth pulling on their skin. I don't like any of the morbid thoughts I have, I hate them (more on that later) and when the things I think about actually happen on their own (I'll never actually act any out, but some of them are things that happen naturally in life) I HATE IT, and just want it to not happen.\nUpdate: When our dogs attack other animals, I just want to get them away from each other and the animal be safe. Yesterday our big dog took a puppy in his mouth and lifted it up, shaking it all around, viciously trying to kill it (he also did it to one of our chickens when we had chickens, it survived) and I was just scared for the puppy's sake and freaking out, just watching it happen.\nUpdate 2: As it happened, my little sister was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... rightfully so. It looked so surreal, so the puppy kind of looked stuffed in my mind, because I can't imagine that happening to a real life animal. I was FORCED to slam my fists REALLY HARD into our big dog's sides in order to make him release the puppy, it worked, it made him open his mouth, and the puppy ran away.\nUpdate 3: A lady was walking, it wasn't her dog but she checked on it, even picked it up, as if it were her own, comforting and caring for it. My sister was just walking home! I actually went back and said "Hey! Is the dog ok?" She said the dog is fine, she assured me the dog was fine, and added that it was actually her neighbors's dog and it was not our fault but their for letting their dog run around the neighborhood. </p>\n\n<p>We need Cesar Millan, our dog acts like he's possessed when he sees another animal.\nUpdate 4: I said more on my morbid thoughts later, it's later now. </p>\n\n<p>When I have the morbid thoughts I DON'T LIKE THEM, but they play in my mind anyway. I feel AWFUL when this happens, I can't even describe how I feel in words. But I think I should kill myself and I will probably burn in Hell if Hell exists. I feel SO HORRIBLE it is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE to describe in words!</p>\n\n<p>I will see in my mind, me letting our dogs out to attack a cat or dog and viciously kill it and eat it, and me taking a knife and stabbing animals, even tying them on a table and making it slow and painful, I HATE IT THOUGH! I HATE THESE THOUGHTS! SO WHY DO I HAVE THEM??? IT'S LITERALLY LIKE THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE OF ME WHO IS THINKING THESE THOUGHTS, AN EVIL ME???</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hey all. New guinea pig owner here. </p>\n\n<p>I got a guinea pig 3 days ago and as I was cleaning her cage, I was emptying its previous contents into a garbage bag. I went downstairs to grab some water to wash the cage with and when I got back upstairs, I saw my dog had gotten into the garbage bag full of old hay and bedding. It's all over my bedroom floor. I've tried vacuuming it up and even scooping it into piles and picking up the big pieces, but when I vacuum it, the vacuum just refuses to pick it up.. Any suggestions??? </p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hey all. New guinea pig owner here. \n\nI got a guinea pig 3 days ago and as I was cleaning her cage, I was emptying its previous contents into a garbage bag. I went downstairs to grab some water to wash the cage with and when I got back upstairs, I saw my dog had gotten into the garbage bag full of old hay and bedding. It's all over my bedroom floor. I've tried vacuuming it up and even scooping it into piles and picking up the big pieces, but when I vacuum it, the vacuum just refuses to pick it up.. Any suggestions??? ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Species: Dog</p>\n\n<p>Age: 10.5 months</p>\n\n<p>Sex/Neuter status: Male - neutered</p>\n\n<p>Breed: Labrador / Collie Mix</p>\n\n<p>Body weight: ~60 lbs</p>\n\n<p>History: Episodes of vomiting/diarrhea. Weren't sure what was going on with him so rushed him to emergency vet. Performed x-rays to look for gastrointestinal obstruction, results were clear of any blockage. Was administered anti-nausea medication and fluids via IV. We had him on bland diet of boiled chicken and white rice for 4 days after 24 hr cessation of food. Gradually mixed dry dog food back into diet, and is now experiencing vomiting and diarrhea again. Energy and behavior is otherwise normal.</p>\n\n<p>Clinical signs: Vomiting, diarrhea</p>\n\n<p>Duration: 1 week</p>\n\n<p>Your general location: Michigan</p>\n\n<p>Links to test results, X-rays, vet reports etc: Has had all vaccines, dewormed, etc within month of having him.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>This post is not meant to hate on Demetres, but rather to point out the many flaws in his game. He is one of the worst people left that could win, imo. Why? Because his ENTIRE game, he's been nothing but a lapdog. Remember week 1? When he was nominated for eviction? It is a pretty cool story line, to be able to say "I went from nominated for eviction week one, to winner, which means I fought hard!" However, it is not something Demetres could say, because he didn't fight hard; Cass fought for him, as early as week one. Cass was able to orchestrate a lot of chaos, and thus, Demetres did not get evicted. In the following weeks, he was the veterans dog; wholeheartedly loyal to the veterans, and allowing them to decide each move. He was merely a vote, a shield, and somebody who could win comps. They were able to use him to their advantage week after week. Now, some might argue that he positioned himself well, because he wasn't a huge threat at the time, and made bonds. But I believe that's wrong; really, what is bonding and positioning if you're not going to make strategic decisions and play the game? You may not be targeted by the majority, but somebody who is controlled and used by a bunch of vets is not somebody who deserves to win, which should be the ultimate goal upon signing up for the show. He fell in love with Ika, and after that, Ika was able to control him. Currently, he is winning comps, and allowing Ika to decide for him, what to do with the power (besides vetoes, because obviously he's going to save himself). Some may argue that he was smart to align himself with Ika, which would be wrong, in my opinion. Why? Because he didn't decide from a strategic standpoint, that aligning himself with Ika would be a good move. Instead, he merely fell in love with Ika, and thus, has been attached to her since, and would be regardless of her position in the house.</p>\n\n<p>Essentially, the message I hope to convey is that somebody who has won comps and allowed their power to be used by others, to the advantage of others, does not deserve to win. Surely, if he did not win competitions, he could be labelled a floater. As I stated previously, I do not hate Demetres, I just do not believe him to be worthy of the win.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "This post is not meant to hate on Demetres, but rather to point out the many flaws in his game. He is one of the worst people left that could win, imo. Why? Because his ENTIRE game, he's been nothing but a lapdog. Remember week 1? When he was nominated for eviction? It is a pretty cool story line, to be able to say \"I went from nominated for eviction week one, to winner, which means I fought hard!\" However, it is not something Demetres could say, because he didn't fight hard; Cass fought for him, as early as week one. Cass was able to orchestrate a lot of chaos, and thus, Demetres did not get evicted. In the following weeks, he was the veterans dog; wholeheartedly loyal to the veterans, and allowing them to decide each move. He was merely a vote, a shield, and somebody who could win comps. They were able to use him to their advantage week after week. Now, some might argue that he positioned himself well, because he wasn't a huge threat at the time, and made bonds. But I believe that's wrong; really, what is bonding and positioning if you're not going to make strategic decisions and play the game? You may not be targeted by the majority, but somebody who is controlled and used by a bunch of vets is not somebody who deserves to win, which should be the ultimate goal upon signing up for the show. He fell in love with Ika, and after that, Ika was able to control him. Currently, he is winning comps, and allowing Ika to decide for him, what to do with the power (besides vetoes, because obviously he's going to save himself). Some may argue that he was smart to align himself with Ika, which would be wrong, in my opinion. Why? Because he didn't decide from a strategic standpoint, that aligning himself with Ika would be a good move. Instead, he merely fell in love with Ika, and thus, has been attached to her since, and would be regardless of her position in the house.\n\nEssentially, the message I hope to convey is that somebody who has won comps and allowed their power to be used by others, to the advantage of others, does not deserve to win. Surely, if he did not win competitions, he could be labelled a floater. As I stated previously, I do not hate Demetres, I just do not believe him to be worthy of the win.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>First off, I'm going to say I know I shouldn't even be posting this because I have a roof over my head, I can afford to eat (most of the time), I live in a beautiful part of the world and I have a family that loves me.</p>\n\n<p>But my life, outside of this, is a complete mess. and I'm running out of reasons why I should keep trying to fight each day. I'm broke in one of the worlds most expensive cities and I can't even go back to my parents place across the country because they just sold it. I don't want them to know how much of a failure I feel like either.</p>\n\n<p>1) I went back to school for visual design and even though I have been applying to jobs every day for months I can't even get a phone screen. I have been surviving by getting gigs in the cannabis industry (I live in SF) but it's not sustainable and not full-time. I work really hard and just can't seem to prove to any recruiter or hiring manager to take a chance on me.</p>\n\n<p>2) I fell in love with someone that works horrible hours and honestly makes it pretty clear I'm very secondary in his life. When he is around things are amazing but as soon as he's out the door I don't even warrant a text response most of the time. It's starting to wear on me. At first he said he was broken and didn't know how to do the relationship thing again after a string of fucked up ones, but I don't understand why I'm not good enough. I just want to support someone that supports me. And after a few weeks of realizing it's not being reciprocated, I'm at a loss. But I can't even break up with him because I can't even get him on the phone or ask to meet up in person. Fuck ghosting.</p>\n\n<p>3) it's so hard to make friends in a new place. I've tried and organically it's just not been easy. So it doesn't help that aside from my boy problem I don't have a lot of friends that I can talk to. I love my roommate to death but I feel bad bogging her down with my crap when she has an entire life of her own to worry about. I miss having all my college friends close by. I wish I had a job where I could make friends at. But cannabis is full of shady ass people who are flaky as fuck. So.</p>\n\n<p>4) I just feel so hopeless. I can't even seem to get interviews for any job, even outside of visual design. My dog is the only thing that is keeping me alive most days. I know that seems so pathetic but it's true. </p>\n\n<p>I know it's very flippant to talk about suicide so casually because I know how catastrophic it would be for my family I left behind. But the other day I almost got hit by a muni bus and didn't really care. Someone, please, I could use any advice. I can't take this anymore.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "First off, I'm going to say I know I shouldn't even be posting this because I have a roof over my head, I can afford to eat (most of the time), I live in a beautiful part of the world and I have a family that loves me.\n\nBut my life, outside of this, is a complete mess. and I'm running out of reasons why I should keep trying to fight each day. I'm broke in one of the worlds most expensive cities and I can't even go back to my parents place across the country because they just sold it. I don't want them to know how much of a failure I feel like either.\n\n1) I went back to school for visual design and even though I have been applying to jobs every day for months I can't even get a phone screen. I have been surviving by getting gigs in the cannabis industry (I live in SF) but it's not sustainable and not full-time. I work really hard and just can't seem to prove to any recruiter or hiring manager to take a chance on me.\n\n2) I fell in love with someone that works horrible hours and honestly makes it pretty clear I'm very secondary in his life. When he is around things are amazing but as soon as he's out the door I don't even warrant a text response most of the time. It's starting to wear on me. At first he said he was broken and didn't know how to do the relationship thing again after a string of fucked up ones, but I don't understand why I'm not good enough. I just want to support someone that supports me. And after a few weeks of realizing it's not being reciprocated, I'm at a loss. But I can't even break up with him because I can't even get him on the phone or ask to meet up in person. Fuck ghosting.\n\n3) it's so hard to make friends in a new place. I've tried and organically it's just not been easy. So it doesn't help that aside from my boy problem I don't have a lot of friends that I can talk to. I love my roommate to death but I feel bad bogging her down with my crap when she has an entire life of her own to worry about. I miss having all my college friends close by. I wish I had a job where I could make friends at. But cannabis is full of shady ass people who are flaky as fuck. So.\n\n\n4) I just feel so hopeless. I can't even seem to get interviews for any job, even outside of visual design. My dog is the only thing that is keeping me alive most days. I know that seems so pathetic but it's true. \n\nI know it's very flippant to talk about suicide so casually because I know how catastrophic it would be for my family I left behind. But the other day I almost got hit by a muni bus and didn't really care. Someone, please, I could use any advice. I can't take this anymore.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/68udw2/escaped/\">Part 1</a> | <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/697ep4/jail_break/\">Part 2</a> </p>\n\n<p>John Colby slumped into the command chair in the cockpit of the stolen S-Class craft, above and behind his unwilling Raathner pilot. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "Computer, Run me through the ship's layout and supplies. I want to know if we have enough gear for this trip or whether we need to make a stop somewhere and get supplies." The computer repeated the request in Raathner, as it had been instructed to translate everything before going through the ship's layout and supplies.</p>\n\n<p>+The layout is standard S-Class formation. You are currently located on the flight deck, and the most forward location on the ship. Directly behind the flight deck is the main walkway that runs down the spine of <strong>no translation available</strong> and joins the main engine room...+</p>\n\n<p>"Wait, computer define no translation available."</p>\n\n<p>+The name of this craft has no translation in the English language+</p>\n\n<p>"Well that won't do, I can't fly a ship with no name, it's just not done. Computer, for now refer to the ship name as <em>The Crate</em>, at least until I come up with something better, and carry on with the layout."</p>\n\n<p>+Affirmative. The Crate is equipped to handle a fully operational crew of 9 Atheare and 7 Raathner. The galley is situated to the left of The Crate near the aft and you will find the head directly opposite. Moving from the engine room towards the flight deck the next five cabins are sleeping/living quarters for the crew, separated into officers and crewmen, and the commander's cabin is located directly behind and to the right of the flight deck. Sick bay is to the left. The Crate is currently stocked with enough meals to serve a full crew for [918 hours]. Ammunition stocks are not up to capacity, and currently there are 18'000 [80mm] tungsten slugs for the forward cannons. Point defence array [50mm] is showing empty. 19 of 30 long range fusion warheads are chambered. 26 of 74 short range ship to ship viridium penetrating HE seekers. The navigations, flight control and sensor suites can all be found on the flight deck and brought up on the main view screen using the command console on the left of the command chair+</p>\n\n<p>OK, John thought to himself. He had enough provisions on board for the time it would take to get to Reclateaus testing station, and despite what the SAI had said, he figured he had <em>more</em> than enough ammunition to get the job done when he got there. What he didn't have was any idea how to fly the ship. It was vastly different from the R-Class which had basically had a joystick for direction, slider for thrust, and, for John 2 and a half years of learning the navigations software. He didn't want to have to spend that amount of time learning to fly The Crate, but he did have an ace up his sleeve. That ace was currently still trembling in the pilot's seat.</p>\n\n<p>"Raathner crewman, put us on autopilot and come with me. You need some food and water, you look like you're going into shock, and frankly I need you too much at the minute to let that happen."</p>\n\n<p>The computer translated and the small grey scaled Raathner tentatively rose to his feet. He faced John and began to speak; John waited and listened as the computer translated for them.</p>\n\n<p>+Listen, you don't need me here... You can drop me off anywhere. I won't tell anyone about this, OK? Honestly...Please just let me go. You don't need me here; the SAI can take you wherever you want to go... I don't know anything. I'm not worth a ransom. Please....+</p>\n\n<p>John raised his hand and the Raathner fell silent, Once again it seemed the best way to get his point across would be using the barrel of a gun. He placed both rifles at the side of the command chair and took the pistol from his pocket. Pointing it at the Raathner and using the barrel to indicate direction of travel.</p>\n\n<p>"Just move"</p>\n\n<p>As the terrified Raathner entered the main walkway and began walking down towards the galley, John fell into step behind him, and it was slow going. The Raathner continued his pleas for mercy, every step he took he became more desperate, and then he just stopped moving. He collapsed to the floor, shock had clearly set in, and whatever passed for adrenaline, that had previously been pumping through his system and had kept him from having a breakdown, had clearly just given up. John was also beginning to feel the effects of fatigue. He'd been up for easily 18 hours at this point so he was also running on empty. It wouldn't do to leave the Raathner in the middle of the floor though, and John was aware he desperately needed to eat and drink something before he could crash as well.</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>John jogged back to the flight deck, grabbing the rifles and stowing them in the Commander's cabin. He then lifted the unconscious body of the Raathner, which was not a difficult feat being at best 4 feet tall and less than 90lb, and placed him in one of the beds that were designated for the Atheare officers. They were much better furnished than the Raathner quarters, and John really felt for the little guy. From what he'd learnt from his time bouncing around the stars in a vague attempt to get home and survive, it was clear that there was a very strict class system in place with Raathner being at the bottom of the food chain. They were small and weak, but had marvellous minds when it came to anything with regards to technology. He had wondered on several occasions; why they hadn't just built the weapons they needed to overthrow the ruling classes of the Atheare and Trenilette, but a millennia or more of subjugation will generally knock the wind out of those particular sails.</p>\n\n<p>Laying the Raathner on one of the 3 cots, John did a quick inspection of the room to make sure that there weren't any weapons lying about. He grabbed a glass of water from the dispenser on the far wall and placed it next to the cot, then left the room and asked the computer to seal the door so that only his authorisation would allow for it to be opened.</p>\n\n<p>John then headed to the galley to grab something to eat.</p>\n\n<p>"Computer cease translating. What's the food situation on this crate? Is it a dispenser system or do we have an oven?"</p>\n\n<p>+Food dispensers can be found located in both the officers’ quarters and the galley, all crewmen are required to use the galley only, while the officers and commander are able to take meals in their quarters+</p>\n\n<p>"So, dispensers then." The galley looked exactly as John expected, he was finding more and more that some things truly were universal. A series of steel picnic tables bolted the floor and a line of dispensers with a pile of trays where he would have expected to see the cooks lined up. Grabbing a tray he walked over to the nearest dispenser and pushed the option for large water and fruit, he'd learned early on that most of the food from the dispensers was inedible for Humans or just downright vile, and had stuck to fruit and veg for sustenance. With his makeshift meal in hand he headed to the commander's cabin.</p>\n\n<p>Talk about the brass having it easy, the cabin wouldn't have looked out of place on a cruise ship in the Bahamas. Everything was very regal and had an air of statesman about it. Thick carpets, a large desk and chairs, everything was just a little too big for John though. It didn't come as a surprise the Atheare were on average all about a foot taller than John and probably twice as heavy, the thick matted fur and elongated snout and jaws only served to make them appear larger still. If he had to guess he'd say they evolved from some kind of dog. <em>Maybe like the wolf in 300</em>, John mused as he sat at the desk and wolfed down the fruit on his tray. He drifted off to sleep in short order. Falling back into what had seemed to be the only dream he'd been able to have for the last 2 years.</p>\n\n<h2></h2>\n\n<p>"Everyone out of the vehicle, NOW!" He screamed as the HMMV at the front of the convoy exploded with the impact of an RPG round, but before any of them were able to react there were Taliban fighters running down the hill side to the left of them, AK rounds ripped into the side of the convoy and he could hear the cries of the men under his command being cut down. As he climbed out of the HMMV another RPG ripped through the mounted 50cal at the back of the line of LSVR's. There was another shout this time it was a call for him "Staff Sergeant!" it seemed to bounce off the surrounding hillsides, coming from all directions at once. John span to look for where the shout had come from, and it was that moment he felt the smack, smack, smack of three 7.62mm rounds crash into him.</p>\n\n<p>He awoke with a start, his breathing heavy and sweat soaking through the sleeves of his worn and tattered MCCUU. He reached for the water and drained the glass in large gulps to replace the moisture he'd lost. For a moment he swore he could still hear the sound of the 7.62 rounds until he realised it was coming from outside of the cabin and further down the walkway. The Raathner was very much awake, and apparently not too happy about being locked in. He could hear the unmistakable clicking of its native tongue, but had no idea what it was saying.</p>\n\n<p>"Computer, continue to translate everything myself and the crewman say until I state otherwise, also any orders you receive must be first authorised by myself before they are carried out, understood?"</p>\n\n<p>+Affirmative+</p>\n\n<p>"Right then. Hold your damn horses crewman, I'm coming" John shouted down the walkway. There was no need of course, the Raathner wouldn't understand if he could hear, and the computer would translate it without the added meaning that shouting entailed. He locked the two rifles in a large locker in the commander's cabin, grabbed the pistol off the desk and headed over to properly introduce himself to his first, and hopefully <em>only</em> hostage.</p>\n\n<p>John stood about 6 feet away from the door to the officers’ quarters with his gun at the ready. Sure he had checked the room for weapons, but John knew from experience it was better to be safe than sorry.</p>\n\n<p>"Crewman" he shouted. "I'm going to unseal the door, you will walk out <em>slowly</em>, with your arms raised. Do <em>not</em> make any sudden movements, or I will open fire. Do you understand?" the reply came back from the computer to the affirmative.</p>\n\n<p>“Computer, unseal the officers’ quarters door." The computer complied and a small green light appeared on the door, replacing the red that had indicated it to be locked. It slid open with a soft hiss and slowly but surely the Raathner crewman walked out with his arms held aloft. John was pleased to see the trembling had stopped and the Raathner was looking much more composed than he had previously.</p>\n\n<p>“OK crewman, I’m going to follow you to the galley and we can both get some food in us. You don’t like me and I get that, but for now you and I are going to have to work together.” The Raathner nodded as the SAI completed its translation. He then turned keeping his hands up and walked cautiously into the galley of the ship.</p>\n\n<p>+May I put my hands down to get a tray?+</p>\n\n<p>“Yes, listen you can keep your hands down from this point forward, but be aware I am armed and will not hesitate to shoot you if for one moment you consider trying anything funny”</p>\n\n<p>+I don’t understand why I would be humorous+</p>\n\n<p>“No, I mean if you try anything that I consider may put myself or my mission at risk” John realised he was going to have to be more careful with his words. The translations were good but clearly not perfect and he didn’t want a misunderstanding to wind up getting either himself or the Raathner hurt, at least not if he could help it. There was something he liked about the Raathner. John had spent a large portion of his own life being told that he wasn’t good enough, and seeing the down trodden little guys plucked on a particular string in his heart. “Get yourself something to eat and drink, get me water and fruit, then bring them both over hear and take a seat.” The Raathner looked confused for a moment, and it occurred to John what it was he had just said. “I mean sit down here” He pointed to the bench opposite his own seat.</p>\n\n<p>Clarification seamed to do the job and the Raathner walked over to the dispenser and began pushing the selections and filling the 2 trays. He shuffled back over to the table placed down the trays and sat down. He looked at the food, eyeing it like he’d not had a decent meal for months. A fire fight and high stress has a habit of doing that after you’ve crashed. That was a feeling John himself knew very well.</p>\n\n<p>“I’m going to put the gun away while we eat, can I trust you not to try anything that will end up getting either of us hurt?” He asked, slowly lowering the pistol.</p>\n\n<p>+I have no intention of doing anything that would risk my safety. You may lower your weapon in the knowledge I won’t try anything of the sort+</p>\n\n<p>“Good, I’d rather not have to spend the next 20 something days with a gun permanently in my hand. Besides it would make going to the toilet rather difficult” John chuckled to himself, the Raathner - who didn’t seem to get the joke – just tucked into his food and kept his eyes on his plate. John placed the gun on his lap and started working his way through his own meal.</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>About 2 minutes into the meal John decided they needed to talk or moreover he needed to explain himself to the Raathner. “What’s your name?” He asked as nonchalantly as he could muster, given the current level on tension in the room, this was not an easy task.</p>\n\n<p>+<strong>no translation available</strong>+</p>\n\n<p>He knew what that meant. “OK, well I’m going to have to call you something. Look we are both going to be stuck here for a while and I want us to be on civil terms.” More uncomfortable silence followed. “Right well I’m calling you George, you look like a George. My name is John, and I guess I owe you an explanation.”</p>\n\n<p>John spent the better part of the morning explaining to George exactly who he was, where he was from and what had happened to him over the last 3 years since his abduction. George seemed to just take the majority of it in without commenting too much in return. Most of what George did ask about seemed to revolve around Earth and at what point John felt he would be able to leave. By the end of the conversation it appeared both John, and George were at least feeling <em>slightly</em> more at ease about their situation.</p>\n\n<p>+John. Please don’t interpret this as anything other than a statement of fact, you do understand that although you have explained your actions, that does not excuse them. I will follow your orders while you have control of this ship, and until you are in a position where you no longer require my presence aboard. My species does not have the capacity to lie. Even if I were physically able to remove your weapon, which is most unlikely, I could not force you to override the SAI now that you are in command. This ship was in the stages of refit for a new crew and when you seized it, you imprinted yourself as the commanding officer. The only way you could relinquish control of the vessel would be another full refit, which can only be accomplished at a Tier 7 orbital platform or security station. Other than that you remain in command until death. In the event of said death aboard the vessel, the SAI system would shut down life support and revert to the nearest Tier 7 station. It was a design requirement by the Atheare, Hence I would die as well. You will have nothing to fear from me in regards to your command of the ship+</p>\n\n<p>“Well that’s good to know” John had no intention of relinquishing command even at gun point so that last part was good to know. “I think we should head to the flight deck. The sooner I learn the systems, the sooner you can leave, how long would it normally take to train a pilot on one of these?”</p>\n\n<p>+The Atheare undergo 3 years training before a commander is imprinted aboard an S-Class vessel+</p>\n\n<p>“Humph, well George you have exactly 20 days to teach me everything you know about flying this ship”</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p><strong>Authors note</strong> - I owe a massive amount of thanks for this chapter to <a href=\"/u/TedwinV\">/u/TedwinV</a> who has been kind enough to answer my many stupid questions regarding the American armed forces. Any mistake is that regard are entirely my own however as he is neither a Marine, nor Texan. I also want to say a big thanks to every one of you who has taken the time to read or comment on my story. You turned an hour of an awful working day into something wonderful.</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Spelling and grammar are the bane of my life so feel free to poke holes and I’ll do my best to repair the damage.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "[Part 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/68udw2/escaped/) | [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/697ep4/jail_break/) \n\nJohn Colby slumped into the command chair in the cockpit of the stolen S-Class craft, above and behind his unwilling Raathner pilot. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. \"Computer, Run me through the ship's layout and supplies. I want to know if we have enough gear for this trip or whether we need to make a stop somewhere and get supplies.\" The computer repeated the request in Raathner, as it had been instructed to translate everything before going through the ship's layout and supplies.\n\n+The layout is standard S-Class formation. You are currently located on the flight deck, and the most forward location on the ship. Directly behind the flight deck is the main walkway that runs down the spine of **no translation available** and joins the main engine room...+\n\n\"Wait, computer define no translation available.\"\n\n+The name of this craft has no translation in the English language+\n\n\"Well that won't do, I can't fly a ship with no name, it's just not done. Computer, for now refer to the ship name as *The Crate*, at least until I come up with something better, and carry on with the layout.\"\n\n+Affirmative. The Crate is equipped to handle a fully operational crew of 9 Atheare and 7 Raathner. The galley is situated to the left of The Crate near the aft and you will find the head directly opposite. Moving from the engine room towards the flight deck the next five cabins are sleeping/living quarters for the crew, separated into officers and crewmen, and the commander's cabin is located directly behind and to the right of the flight deck. Sick bay is to the left. The Crate is currently stocked with enough meals to serve a full crew for [918 hours]. Ammunition stocks are not up to capacity, and currently there are 18'000 [80mm] tungsten slugs for the forward cannons. Point defence array [50mm] is showing empty. 19 of 30 long range fusion warheads are chambered. 26 of 74 short range ship to ship viridium penetrating HE seekers. The navigations, flight control and sensor suites can all be found on the flight deck and brought up on the main view screen using the command console on the left of the command chair+\n\nOK, John thought to himself. He had enough provisions on board for the time it would take to get to Reclateaus testing station, and despite what the SAI had said, he figured he had *more* than enough ammunition to get the job done when he got there. What he didn't have was any idea how to fly the ship. It was vastly different from the R-Class which had basically had a joystick for direction, slider for thrust, and, for John 2 and a half years of learning the navigations software. He didn't want to have to spend that amount of time learning to fly The Crate, but he did have an ace up his sleeve. That ace was currently still trembling in the pilot's seat.\n\n\"Raathner crewman, put us on autopilot and come with me. You need some food and water, you look like you're going into shock, and frankly I need you too much at the minute to let that happen.\"\n\nThe computer translated and the small grey scaled Raathner tentatively rose to his feet. He faced John and began to speak; John waited and listened as the computer translated for them.\n\n+Listen, you don't need me here... You can drop me off anywhere. I won't tell anyone about this, OK? Honestly...Please just let me go. You don't need me here; the SAI can take you wherever you want to go... I don't know anything. I'm not worth a ransom. Please....+\n\nJohn raised his hand and the Raathner fell silent, Once again it seemed the best way to get his point across would be using the barrel of a gun. He placed both rifles at the side of the command chair and took the pistol from his pocket. Pointing it at the Raathner and using the barrel to indicate direction of travel.\n\n\"Just move\"\n\nAs the terrified Raathner entered the main walkway and began walking down towards the galley, John fell into step behind him, and it was slow going. The Raathner continued his pleas for mercy, every step he took he became more desperate, and then he just stopped moving. He collapsed to the floor, shock had clearly set in, and whatever passed for adrenaline, that had previously been pumping through his system and had kept him from having a breakdown, had clearly just given up. John was also beginning to feel the effects of fatigue. He'd been up for easily 18 hours at this point so he was also running on empty. It wouldn't do to leave the Raathner in the middle of the floor though, and John was aware he desperately needed to eat and drink something before he could crash as well.\n\n---\n\nJohn jogged back to the flight deck, grabbing the rifles and stowing them in the Commander's cabin. He then lifted the unconscious body of the Raathner, which was not a difficult feat being at best 4 feet tall and less than 90lb, and placed him in one of the beds that were designated for the Atheare officers. They were much better furnished than the Raathner quarters, and John really felt for the little guy. From what he'd learnt from his time bouncing around the stars in a vague attempt to get home and survive, it was clear that there was a very strict class system in place with Raathner being at the bottom of the food chain. They were small and weak, but had marvellous minds when it came to anything with regards to technology. He had wondered on several occasions; why they hadn't just built the weapons they needed to overthrow the ruling classes of the Atheare and Trenilette, but a millennia or more of subjugation will generally knock the wind out of those particular sails.\n\nLaying the Raathner on one of the 3 cots, John did a quick inspection of the room to make sure that there weren't any weapons lying about. He grabbed a glass of water from the dispenser on the far wall and placed it next to the cot, then left the room and asked the computer to seal the door so that only his authorisation would allow for it to be opened.\n\nJohn then headed to the galley to grab something to eat.\n\n\"Computer cease translating. What's the food situation on this crate? Is it a dispenser system or do we have an oven?\"\n\n+Food dispensers can be found located in both the officers’ quarters and the galley, all crewmen are required to use the galley only, while the officers and commander are able to take meals in their quarters+\n\n\"So, dispensers then.\" The galley looked exactly as John expected, he was finding more and more that some things truly were universal. A series of steel picnic tables bolted the floor and a line of dispensers with a pile of trays where he would have expected to see the cooks lined up. Grabbing a tray he walked over to the nearest dispenser and pushed the option for large water and fruit, he'd learned early on that most of the food from the dispensers was inedible for Humans or just downright vile, and had stuck to fruit and veg for sustenance. With his makeshift meal in hand he headed to the commander's cabin.\n\nTalk about the brass having it easy, the cabin wouldn't have looked out of place on a cruise ship in the Bahamas. Everything was very regal and had an air of statesman about it. Thick carpets, a large desk and chairs, everything was just a little too big for John though. It didn't come as a surprise the Atheare were on average all about a foot taller than John and probably twice as heavy, the thick matted fur and elongated snout and jaws only served to make them appear larger still. If he had to guess he'd say they evolved from some kind of dog. *Maybe like the wolf in 300*, John mused as he sat at the desk and wolfed down the fruit on his tray. He drifted off to sleep in short order. Falling back into what had seemed to be the only dream he'd been able to have for the last 2 years.\n\n--\n\n\"Everyone out of the vehicle, NOW!\" He screamed as the HMMV at the front of the convoy exploded with the impact of an RPG round, but before any of them were able to react there were Taliban fighters running down the hill side to the left of them, AK rounds ripped into the side of the convoy and he could hear the cries of the men under his command being cut down. As he climbed out of the HMMV another RPG ripped through the mounted 50cal at the back of the line of LSVR's. There was another shout this time it was a call for him \"Staff Sergeant!\" it seemed to bounce off the surrounding hillsides, coming from all directions at once. John span to look for where the shout had come from, and it was that moment he felt the smack, smack, smack of three 7.62mm rounds crash into him.\n\nHe awoke with a start, his breathing heavy and sweat soaking through the sleeves of his worn and tattered MCCUU. He reached for the water and drained the glass in large gulps to replace the moisture he'd lost. For a moment he swore he could still hear the sound of the 7.62 rounds until he realised it was coming from outside of the cabin and further down the walkway. The Raathner was very much awake, and apparently not too happy about being locked in. He could hear the unmistakable clicking of its native tongue, but had no idea what it was saying.\n\n\"Computer, continue to translate everything myself and the crewman say until I state otherwise, also any orders you receive must be first authorised by myself before they are carried out, understood?\"\n\n+Affirmative+\n\n\"Right then. Hold your damn horses crewman, I'm coming\" John shouted down the walkway. There was no need of course, the Raathner wouldn't understand if he could hear, and the computer would translate it without the added meaning that shouting entailed. He locked the two rifles in a large locker in the commander's cabin, grabbed the pistol off the desk and headed over to properly introduce himself to his first, and hopefully *only* hostage.\n\nJohn stood about 6 feet away from the door to the officers’ quarters with his gun at the ready. Sure he had checked the room for weapons, but John knew from experience it was better to be safe than sorry.\n\n\"Crewman\" he shouted. \"I'm going to unseal the door, you will walk out *slowly*, with your arms raised. Do *not* make any sudden movements, or I will open fire. Do you understand?\" the reply came back from the computer to the affirmative.\n\n“Computer, unseal the officers’ quarters door.\" The computer complied and a small green light appeared on the door, replacing the red that had indicated it to be locked. It slid open with a soft hiss and slowly but surely the Raathner crewman walked out with his arms held aloft. John was pleased to see the trembling had stopped and the Raathner was looking much more composed than he had previously.\n\n“OK crewman, I’m going to follow you to the galley and we can both get some food in us. You don’t like me and I get that, but for now you and I are going to have to work together.” The Raathner nodded as the SAI completed its translation. He then turned keeping his hands up and walked cautiously into the galley of the ship.\n\n+May I put my hands down to get a tray?+\n\n“Yes, listen you can keep your hands down from this point forward, but be aware I am armed and will not hesitate to shoot you if for one moment you consider trying anything funny”\n\n+I don’t understand why I would be humorous+\n\n“No, I mean if you try anything that I consider may put myself or my mission at risk” John realised he was going to have to be more careful with his words. The translations were good but clearly not perfect and he didn’t want a misunderstanding to wind up getting either himself or the Raathner hurt, at least not if he could help it. There was something he liked about the Raathner. John had spent a large portion of his own life being told that he wasn’t good enough, and seeing the down trodden little guys plucked on a particular string in his heart. “Get yourself something to eat and drink, get me water and fruit, then bring them both over hear and take a seat.” The Raathner looked confused for a moment, and it occurred to John what it was he had just said. “I mean sit down here” He pointed to the bench opposite his own seat.\n\nClarification seamed to do the job and the Raathner walked over to the dispenser and began pushing the selections and filling the 2 trays. He shuffled back over to the table placed down the trays and sat down. He looked at the food, eyeing it like he’d not had a decent meal for months. A fire fight and high stress has a habit of doing that after you’ve crashed. That was a feeling John himself knew very well.\n\n“I’m going to put the gun away while we eat, can I trust you not to try anything that will end up getting either of us hurt?” He asked, slowly lowering the pistol.\n\n+I have no intention of doing anything that would risk my safety. You may lower your weapon in the knowledge I won’t try anything of the sort+\n\n“Good, I’d rather not have to spend the next 20 something days with a gun permanently in my hand. Besides it would make going to the toilet rather difficult” John chuckled to himself, the Raathner - who didn’t seem to get the joke – just tucked into his food and kept his eyes on his plate. John placed the gun on his lap and started working his way through his own meal.\n\n---\n\nAbout 2 minutes into the meal John decided they needed to talk or moreover he needed to explain himself to the Raathner. “What’s your name?” He asked as nonchalantly as he could muster, given the current level on tension in the room, this was not an easy task.\n\n+**no translation available**+\n\nHe knew what that meant. “OK, well I’m going to have to call you something. Look we are both going to be stuck here for a while and I want us to be on civil terms.” More uncomfortable silence followed. “Right well I’m calling you George, you look like a George. My name is John, and I guess I owe you an explanation.”\n\nJohn spent the better part of the morning explaining to George exactly who he was, where he was from and what had happened to him over the last 3 years since his abduction. George seemed to just take the majority of it in without commenting too much in return. Most of what George did ask about seemed to revolve around Earth and at what point John felt he would be able to leave. By the end of the conversation it appeared both John, and George were at least feeling *slightly* more at ease about their situation.\n\n+John. Please don’t interpret this as anything other than a statement of fact, you do understand that although you have explained your actions, that does not excuse them. I will follow your orders while you have control of this ship, and until you are in a position where you no longer require my presence aboard. My species does not have the capacity to lie. Even if I were physically able to remove your weapon, which is most unlikely, I could not force you to override the SAI now that you are in command. This ship was in the stages of refit for a new crew and when you seized it, you imprinted yourself as the commanding officer. The only way you could relinquish control of the vessel would be another full refit, which can only be accomplished at a Tier 7 orbital platform or security station. Other than that you remain in command until death. In the event of said death aboard the vessel, the SAI system would shut down life support and revert to the nearest Tier 7 station. It was a design requirement by the Atheare, Hence I would die as well. You will have nothing to fear from me in regards to your command of the ship+\n\n“Well that’s good to know” John had no intention of relinquishing command even at gun point so that last part was good to know. “I think we should head to the flight deck. The sooner I learn the systems, the sooner you can leave, how long would it normally take to train a pilot on one of these?”\n\n+The Atheare undergo 3 years training before a commander is imprinted aboard an S-Class vessel+\n\n“Humph, well George you have exactly 20 days to teach me everything you know about flying this ship”\n\n \n\n**Authors note** - I owe a massive amount of thanks for this chapter to /u/TedwinV who has been kind enough to answer my many stupid questions regarding the American armed forces. Any mistake is that regard are entirely my own however as he is neither a Marine, nor Texan. I also want to say a big thanks to every one of you who has taken the time to read or comment on my story. You turned an hour of an awful working day into something wonderful.\n\nEdit: Spelling and grammar are the bane of my life so feel free to poke holes and I’ll do my best to repair the damage.\n",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>It took Scrappy 4 extra days to move, but she's gone! She's now three hours away from us. We can open our blinds, take the dog for walks... Enjoy the days in the light. We're relieved.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>My malamute and I go walking every day. He is reactive (excitement) so we go to an industrial estate where there is only one dog - a GSD guard dog at a business. Both dogs bark at each other as we walk past.</p>\n\n<p>Yesterday, as we approached the yard, I notice the GSD was not locked around the side of the business where he normally is - he was on the open side of the yard. I froze in horror. I thought maybe he hadn't seen us and we would just walk back the way we came, but he had seen us and came running. I yelled 'STOP!', it didn't work. He got closer and I just screamed for help. He and my dog got into a scrap, growling and biting at each other, tumbling around. I got knocked down but didn't let get of the lead (it was by a busy road). This awesome guy, a courier, immediately pulled over and got out of his car to help us. The owner of the GSD called him back and locked him away. The man that had stopped helped me calm my dog down and checked him over for injuries and made sure we were both okay. I couldn't thank him enough, the fact that someone would put themselves in danger to help a stranger just blows my mind. The GSD dog owner then came over to apologise and make sure we were okay. He had been so busy he hadn't had time to lock the dog away yet. I have no ill feeling towards the dog, although he should have been locked away and that's a failing on the humans. My dog was very excited to meet a couple of new humans, sniffed some shoes and some butts and let out a few happy 'woooos'. He was totally fine.</p>\n\n<p>We continued walking up the road, my dog and the GSD barked at each other again🤦\u200d♀️ it was only about 5 minutes later that I realised my leg was hurting. I stopped and pulled up my pants leg and realised I had been bitten. Not sure which dog did it, didn't even realise it had happened at first. I went to the doctor to have the wound cleaned and checked. The nurse said 'that's terrible, what if it had been a kid?' which sort of irritates me because a dog who is same sex dog aggressive is not automatically people aggressive. The GSD wasn't interested in me at all. The business having a dog that would harm people when he's not on the job would be a massive liability. I don't fear that he would attack a child, or a human. </p>\n\n<p>I know I can't let this stop our walks. But I also know that despite my dog being completely unharmed (I'm glad the bite is on me and not my dog), he will have emotional scars. It may make his reactivity far worse. But we have to walk and we have to do it today because if I make an excuse not to go today, then the next day it becomes easier to just not bother and then we've both lost something we love to do. My confidence is shattered. I am confident that the business will make it a priority to lock their dog away when the gates are open judging by how terrible the owner felt, but I will never walk past again.</p>\n\n<p>How do I rebuild confidence, both in me and my dog? I feel like I failed him because I was so scared and shocked and I didn't know what to do, but he was brave and standing his ground and trying to fight the GSD off. It should have been me protecting him.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "My malamute and I go walking every day. He is reactive (excitement) so we go to an industrial estate where there is only one dog - a GSD guard dog at a business. Both dogs bark at each other as we walk past.\n\nYesterday, as we approached the yard, I notice the GSD was not locked around the side of the business where he normally is - he was on the open side of the yard. I froze in horror. I thought maybe he hadn't seen us and we would just walk back the way we came, but he had seen us and came running. I yelled 'STOP!', it didn't work. He got closer and I just screamed for help. He and my dog got into a scrap, growling and biting at each other, tumbling around. I got knocked down but didn't let get of the lead (it was by a busy road). This awesome guy, a courier, immediately pulled over and got out of his car to help us. The owner of the GSD called him back and locked him away. The man that had stopped helped me calm my dog down and checked him over for injuries and made sure we were both okay. I couldn't thank him enough, the fact that someone would put themselves in danger to help a stranger just blows my mind. The GSD dog owner then came over to apologise and make sure we were okay. He had been so busy he hadn't had time to lock the dog away yet. I have no ill feeling towards the dog, although he should have been locked away and that's a failing on the humans. My dog was very excited to meet a couple of new humans, sniffed some shoes and some butts and let out a few happy 'woooos'. He was totally fine.\n\nWe continued walking up the road, my dog and the GSD barked at each other again🤦\u200d♀️ it was only about 5 minutes later that I realised my leg was hurting. I stopped and pulled up my pants leg and realised I had been bitten. Not sure which dog did it, didn't even realise it had happened at first. I went to the doctor to have the wound cleaned and checked. The nurse said 'that's terrible, what if it had been a kid?' which sort of irritates me because a dog who is same sex dog aggressive is not automatically people aggressive. The GSD wasn't interested in me at all. The business having a dog that would harm people when he's not on the job would be a massive liability. I don't fear that he would attack a child, or a human. \n\nI know I can't let this stop our walks. But I also know that despite my dog being completely unharmed (I'm glad the bite is on me and not my dog), he will have emotional scars. It may make his reactivity far worse. But we have to walk and we have to do it today because if I make an excuse not to go today, then the next day it becomes easier to just not bother and then we've both lost something we love to do. My confidence is shattered. I am confident that the business will make it a priority to lock their dog away when the gates are open judging by how terrible the owner felt, but I will never walk past again.\n\nHow do I rebuild confidence, both in me and my dog? I feel like I failed him because I was so scared and shocked and I didn't know what to do, but he was brave and standing his ground and trying to fight the GSD off. It should have been me protecting him.\n\n",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p><strong>"OH GOD, OH DEAR GOD SAVE ME! FUUUUCK PLEASE STOP OH GOD-"</strong></p>\n\n<p>-<em>bzzt</em>- "Belphegor, could you send a message down to arrivals and ask them to send screamers to limbo for a few days? It is impossible to condemn in here with the screams of the damned drifting through the window"</p>\n\n<p>"<em>Right away Miss S. Oh, I.T. just called, someone posted a working summoning ritual to 4chan again. They've predicted upwards of 70 raisings in the next fortnight"</em></p>\n\n<p><strong><em>Thump</em></strong></p>\n\n<p>Lucifer fucking damnit. Summoning season was here again, and it was going to be busier than ever. Every few years some fuck-knuckle of a mortal would find some old scripture or an original satanist bible, and post the ritual for summoning me online for everyone and their dog to use. </p>\n\n<p><strong><em>Thump thump thump</em></strong></p>\n\n<p>Forehead to desk, I slap in the general direction of the intercom, letting out a heavy sigh.</p>\n\n<p>"Riiiight... Okay, send all summons to my printer and I'll get to them as I can, please cancel my three thirty with death with an apology note, he'll kill me if I cancel one more time"</p>\n\n<p>"<em>Right away Miss S, sending through four summons already, make sure to take off your glasses this time</em>"</p>\n\n<p>"Thank you Bell" I mumble into my desk, eyes closed as I try to enjoy the last few moments of peace I'll have all month.</p>\n\n<p>Years ago, summonings were a joyous time. A great opportunity to put the fear of eternal <em>fire</em> and <strong>damnation</strong> into the very soul of a creature, whilst thinking up cruel and ironic consequences to their requests. 'Oh you want gold beyond your wildest dreams? Here, have so much that you literally drown in coins'. 'You? You want to be irresistible to women? Of course, but they'll tear you limb from limb trying to keep you to themselves'</p>\n\n<p>I try to enjoy these thoughts for a few moments as the printer steadily spews out name after name behind me. These days it was far easier just to give them what they want but chop a few decades off their life span. Cut, dry, ship 'em out. I only wish they would be more inventive. Immortality, endless wealth, cock the size of a small country, it was always the same, and had been for millennia.</p>\n\n<p>With another heavy sigh, I lift my head from my desk, pulling off my glasses and reaching over to rip off the list from my printer.</p>\n\n<p>"Right... who's first?"</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>Hey there, Alex <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/DPPprofiles/comments/4lysyx/heartlex/\">here</a></p>\n\n<p>Third and final posting of this prompt, just seeing if there's anymore avenues to explore, so be creative! Oh and if I didn't respond to you before, my bad, got kinda buried under lots of "I'm an awkward teenager, fuck me as the devil!" type messages.</p>\n\n<p>The tl;dr version of this prompt is as such. I am Satan herself, sounds impressive but it's more just an annoying admin job, judging the severity of people's misdeeds and assigning eternal punishments. Every few years, a summoning ritual will emerge online and I will have to spend a month or two dealing with human's requests, granting them their wishes in exchange for a few decades of life, or their soul, or in one instance when I was drunk, a Nando's loyalty card and a bottle of prosecco. I've become very bored with people's requests and bored with punishing them, so maybe today something catches my interest?</p>\n\n<p>So if that sounds like something you'd exchange your earthly soul for, go ahead and summon me for your sordid desires. All you have to do is make a pentangle of salt, drop some of your blood into a chalice, pledge your eternal allegiance to the queen of the underworld(yours truly), and send me a Reddit PM.</p>\n\n<p>Let's do some sinning</p>\n\n<p>-Miss S</p>\n\n<p>Xx</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "**\"OH GOD, OH DEAR GOD SAVE ME! FUUUUCK PLEASE STOP OH GOD-\"**\n\n-*bzzt*- \"Belphegor, could you send a message down to arrivals and ask them to send screamers to limbo for a few days? It is impossible to condemn in here with the screams of the damned drifting through the window\"\n\n\"*Right away Miss S. Oh, I.T. just called, someone posted a working summoning ritual to 4chan again. They've predicted upwards of 70 raisings in the next fortnight\"*\n\n***Thump***\n\nLucifer fucking damnit. Summoning season was here again, and it was going to be busier than ever. Every few years some fuck-knuckle of a mortal would find some old scripture or an original satanist bible, and post the ritual for summoning me online for everyone and their dog to use. \n\n***Thump thump thump***\n\nForehead to desk, I slap in the general direction of the intercom, letting out a heavy sigh.\n\n\"Riiiight... Okay, send all summons to my printer and I'll get to them as I can, please cancel my three thirty with death with an apology note, he'll kill me if I cancel one more time\"\n\n\"*Right away Miss S, sending through four summons already, make sure to take off your glasses this time*\"\n\n\"Thank you Bell\" I mumble into my desk, eyes closed as I try to enjoy the last few moments of peace I'll have all month.\n\nYears ago, summonings were a joyous time. A great opportunity to put the fear of eternal *fire* and **damnation** into the very soul of a creature, whilst thinking up cruel and ironic consequences to their requests. 'Oh you want gold beyond your wildest dreams? Here, have so much that you literally drown in coins'. 'You? You want to be irresistible to women? Of course, but they'll tear you limb from limb trying to keep you to themselves'\n\nI try to enjoy these thoughts for a few moments as the printer steadily spews out name after name behind me. These days it was far easier just to give them what they want but chop a few decades off their life span. Cut, dry, ship 'em out. I only wish they would be more inventive. Immortality, endless wealth, cock the size of a small country, it was always the same, and had been for millennia.\n\nWith another heavy sigh, I lift my head from my desk, pulling off my glasses and reaching over to rip off the list from my printer.\n\n\"Right... who's first?\"\n\n---\n\nHey there, Alex [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/DPPprofiles/comments/4lysyx/heartlex/)\n\nThird and final posting of this prompt, just seeing if there's anymore avenues to explore, so be creative! Oh and if I didn't respond to you before, my bad, got kinda buried under lots of \"I'm an awkward teenager, fuck me as the devil!\" type messages.\n\nThe tl;dr version of this prompt is as such. I am Satan herself, sounds impressive but it's more just an annoying admin job, judging the severity of people's misdeeds and assigning eternal punishments. Every few years, a summoning ritual will emerge online and I will have to spend a month or two dealing with human's requests, granting them their wishes in exchange for a few decades of life, or their soul, or in one instance when I was drunk, a Nando's loyalty card and a bottle of prosecco. I've become very bored with people's requests and bored with punishing them, so maybe today something catches my interest?\n\nSo if that sounds like something you'd exchange your earthly soul for, go ahead and summon me for your sordid desires. All you have to do is make a pentangle of salt, drop some of your blood into a chalice, pledge your eternal allegiance to the queen of the underworld(yours truly), and send me a Reddit PM.\n\nLet's do some sinning\n\n-Miss S\n\nXx",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>So after a few months of getting to know the right people, I’ve made my way into the circle of glamorous “Lean Inners” at work. They’re all a bit older than me (late-twenties, early-thirties), beautiful, put-together, and serious career-women. Yes, I wanted their friendship. Yes, I wanted their advice. But most of all, I wanted to be invited to their weekly brunches. Holy shit, do these women brunch HARD. The food looks heavenly, the cocktails look bomb, and dear god do they have some good-looking friends.</p>\n\n<p>After a few brunches, the dynamic became pretty clear: my new lady-friends were kind of prudish and the boys were all friend-zoned and thirsty as fuck. I quickly established myself as The Fun One: always ordering another round and sending everyone home a bit less put-together than when they arrived. The boys were flirty, but no one made any moves until a few weeks ago.</p>\n\n<p>It was the first warm weekend this spring, so instead of going out for brunch, we went to Jack’s house to enjoy his wonderful patio. Everyone brought food and enough booze to drown a country club. All the usual players were there, but everyone was a bit looser with the liquor since we weren’t in public. By 1pm, everyone was pretty drunk on their way to smashed. A bunch of other people started to show up and by 3pm, it was a full-on Sunday Funday shit show.</p>\n\n<p>While the girls mingled with the newcomers, I kept some of the boys entertained. They had me cornered in the kitchen, and the conversation steered towards the raunchy. I wanted to know why none of them had hooked up with the other girls. They wanted to know, since I’m the fun friend, just how much fun I could be.</p>\n\n<p>I excused myself finally to use the bathroom upstairs (nice bathroom for a single dude, btw). When I finished, I opened the door and there stood one of the boys, David. He pushed me back in, locked the door and we locked lips.</p>\n\n<p>David isn’t the best looking of the group (still, he’s definitely pretty good looking), but he is the most charming — and a bit of an asshole (which is probably why we was willing to raw-dog a girl in his friend’s bathroom at 4:30 in the afternoon).</p>\n\n<p>We were shoving our tongues down each others’ throats as he gripped my ass under my sundress; me, reaching to rub his growing bulge. He pulled away and gripped a tit in one hand. </p>\n\n<p>“Mmm… you ARE a dirty girl… You want this?”</p>\n\n<p>I just bit my lip, raised an eyebrow and kept rubbing.</p>\n\n<p>He hoisted me onto the counter, reaching up my dress to rip my panties off. He fingered me a bit before he unbuckled his belt and undid his shorts, flopping out a rock hard 6 inches — uncut, veiny and throbbing. Without a word, he slipped right in… slowly at first, but more quickly as he found his grip in my hair and on my hips. My legs wrapped around him as he picked up speed, grunting. I gasped and giggled with pleasure — dude has rhythm :p </p>\n\n<p>He was so good I really wanted to ask him how many times he’s had sex in a bathroom but his death grip in my curls kept my mouth glued to his.</p>\n\n<p>His thrusts began to slow.</p>\n\n<p>“God fuck I’m gonna cum.” He didn’t look me in the eyes, but he gripped me tighter.</p>\n\n<p>“Pull out and cum down my throat…”</p>\n\n<p>NOW he looked me in the eyes. And grinned. He took a few more strokes, savoring them, and pulled out. I hopped off the counter and got on my knees, taking him into my mouth. Again, his fingers wound up in my hair, forcing himself in and out of my mouth. I played with his shaft and balls, but not for long as he let out a long, quiet groan and filled me with semen.</p>\n\n<p>“Swallow for me, baby.”</p>\n\n<p>I did. We cleaned up a bit and went back downstairs, me a little wobblier now in my heels. The rest of the boys were still in the kitchen, and looked at me as if they were none-the-wiser. I went outside for some fresh air and fresh company, but I could see the grins and shoulder slaps shared by David and the rest inside. What’s a girl to do but hope I get a glowing review that leads to more dick traffic?</p>\n\n<p>On the patio, my girlfriends were starting to look sloppy and I allowed myself a little pride that, even though I was a drunk bitch who just got some tremendous dick in the bathroom, I was the most put together lady at the table. One dude gave me his jacket as the sun went down. I gave him my number.</p>\n\n<p>David ghosted, but texted me later saying we should definitely “hangout” again. Having proof of how “fun” i was, the other guys got a bit more brazen — grabbing my ass and generally being extremely suggestive. </p>\n\n<p>I can’t say I didn’t encourage this behavior. </p>\n\n<p>Ultimately, despite my better judgement, I didn’t fuck anyone else from the Brunch Crew that night. I could pass off one hookup as a lapse of judgement, but fucking every guy might get me banished — and I need brunch. I turned down the handful of offers to “take me home” in favor of an uber. That I may have fallen asleep in.</p>\n\n<p>And yes, Monday sucked tremendously. </p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "So after a few months of getting to know the right people, I’ve made my way into the circle of glamorous “Lean Inners” at work. They’re all a bit older than me (late-twenties, early-thirties), beautiful, put-together, and serious career-women. Yes, I wanted their friendship. Yes, I wanted their advice. But most of all, I wanted to be invited to their weekly brunches. Holy shit, do these women brunch HARD. The food looks heavenly, the cocktails look bomb, and dear god do they have some good-looking friends.\n\nAfter a few brunches, the dynamic became pretty clear: my new lady-friends were kind of prudish and the boys were all friend-zoned and thirsty as fuck. I quickly established myself as The Fun One: always ordering another round and sending everyone home a bit less put-together than when they arrived. The boys were flirty, but no one made any moves until a few weeks ago.\n\nIt was the first warm weekend this spring, so instead of going out for brunch, we went to Jack’s house to enjoy his wonderful patio. Everyone brought food and enough booze to drown a country club. All the usual players were there, but everyone was a bit looser with the liquor since we weren’t in public. By 1pm, everyone was pretty drunk on their way to smashed. A bunch of other people started to show up and by 3pm, it was a full-on Sunday Funday shit show.\n\nWhile the girls mingled with the newcomers, I kept some of the boys entertained. They had me cornered in the kitchen, and the conversation steered towards the raunchy. I wanted to know why none of them had hooked up with the other girls. They wanted to know, since I’m the fun friend, just how much fun I could be.\n\nI excused myself finally to use the bathroom upstairs (nice bathroom for a single dude, btw). When I finished, I opened the door and there stood one of the boys, David. He pushed me back in, locked the door and we locked lips.\n\nDavid isn’t the best looking of the group (still, he’s definitely pretty good looking), but he is the most charming — and a bit of an asshole (which is probably why we was willing to raw-dog a girl in his friend’s bathroom at 4:30 in the afternoon).\n\nWe were shoving our tongues down each others’ throats as he gripped my ass under my sundress; me, reaching to rub his growing bulge. He pulled away and gripped a tit in one hand. \n\n“Mmm… you ARE a dirty girl… You want this?”\n\nI just bit my lip, raised an eyebrow and kept rubbing.\n\nHe hoisted me onto the counter, reaching up my dress to rip my panties off. He fingered me a bit before he unbuckled his belt and undid his shorts, flopping out a rock hard 6 inches — uncut, veiny and throbbing. Without a word, he slipped right in… slowly at first, but more quickly as he found his grip in my hair and on my hips. My legs wrapped around him as he picked up speed, grunting. I gasped and giggled with pleasure — dude has rhythm :p \n\nHe was so good I really wanted to ask him how many times he’s had sex in a bathroom but his death grip in my curls kept my mouth glued to his.\n\nHis thrusts began to slow.\n\n“God fuck I’m gonna cum.” He didn’t look me in the eyes, but he gripped me tighter.\n\n“Pull out and cum down my throat…”\n\nNOW he looked me in the eyes. And grinned. He took a few more strokes, savoring them, and pulled out. I hopped off the counter and got on my knees, taking him into my mouth. Again, his fingers wound up in my hair, forcing himself in and out of my mouth. I played with his shaft and balls, but not for long as he let out a long, quiet groan and filled me with semen.\n\n“Swallow for me, baby.”\n\nI did. We cleaned up a bit and went back downstairs, me a little wobblier now in my heels. The rest of the boys were still in the kitchen, and looked at me as if they were none-the-wiser. I went outside for some fresh air and fresh company, but I could see the grins and shoulder slaps shared by David and the rest inside. What’s a girl to do but hope I get a glowing review that leads to more dick traffic?\n \nOn the patio, my girlfriends were starting to look sloppy and I allowed myself a little pride that, even though I was a drunk bitch who just got some tremendous dick in the bathroom, I was the most put together lady at the table. One dude gave me his jacket as the sun went down. I gave him my number.\n\nDavid ghosted, but texted me later saying we should definitely “hangout” again. Having proof of how “fun” i was, the other guys got a bit more brazen — grabbing my ass and generally being extremely suggestive. \n\nI can’t say I didn’t encourage this behavior. \n\nUltimately, despite my better judgement, I didn’t fuck anyone else from the Brunch Crew that night. I could pass off one hookup as a lapse of judgement, but fucking every guy might get me banished — and I need brunch. I turned down the handful of offers to “take me home” in favor of an uber. That I may have fallen asleep in.\n\nAnd yes, Monday sucked tremendously. ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I've got St.Augustine in 7A (Dallas, TX) and I don't really use much in the way of chemicals or fertilizers.</p>\n\n<p>I'm looking for a pest control solution that's pet and kid safe. I've got a few sporadic fire ants, chiggers and I'm pretty sure some fleas too. I would like them all to die post haste without making my kids/dog sick. I also live in a slightly wooded area with a stream that runs along my property, about a 1/4 acre.</p>\n\n<p>Any advice on what I should use or anything at all, I'm wide open and I'd appreciate anything you can tell me!</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I've got St.Augustine in 7A (Dallas, TX) and I don't really use much in the way of chemicals or fertilizers.\n\nI'm looking for a pest control solution that's pet and kid safe. I've got a few sporadic fire ants, chiggers and I'm pretty sure some fleas too. I would like them all to die post haste without making my kids/dog sick. I also live in a slightly wooded area with a stream that runs along my property, about a 1/4 acre.\n\nAny advice on what I should use or anything at all, I'm wide open and I'd appreciate anything you can tell me!",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hello, all! This is my first post on DPP and comprises my entire brain's worth of Overwatch-related prompts that I have written slowly over the course of a few months lurking on this sub. So, enjoy!</p>\n\n<p>If you'd like to play, just specify which prompt, your limits, and any other comments you may have. Please try to accept the kinks added, I try to be very appealing to everyone's personal stuff, but I'd rather not switch out some kinks for others in order to keep it closer to the prompt idea. I hope to hear from any of you eager Overwatch fans and I hope to make a lot of fun memories with all of you.</p>\n\n<p>Also, on a side-note, please have a single prompt and character in mind when you choose. I'm not really one to "pick my own favorite" or "choose who you play."</p>\n\n<p>I'll also ask that anybody who plays be pretty familiar with the game. You don't have to be an expert, but if you've never heard of this game, then it might not be a good idea to message me and ask. </p>\n\n<p>(some additional notes for kinks:)\n1. Age Difference is not Ageplay. It just means a larger difference in age between both characters over 18.\n2. I don't include straight "pussy fucking" in the kinklist because it's not technically a kink. Anal and Oral are because they're different. \n3. "Alternate Costumes" means specific to the character; "Costumes" means any kind of costume, in the game or not.\n4. I can provide a reference for any of the alternate costumes, but you should already (ideally) know what they look like anyway.</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4A] D.Va's New Livestream</strong></p>\n\n<p>After realizing that her Pro-Starcraft viewer ratings are starting to plummet, D.Va discovers a new way she can stay famous online; a new, nudity-approved livestream. Typically, she'll just play her games and as people pay more money she'll strip even further. Occasionally she'll finish a match entirely nude. But sometimes, when larger amounts of money role in, she'll pull out her box of toys or even invite a "friend" over to put on a show for the loyal, and paying, viewers. </p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Toys, Recorded, Oral, Multiple Positions, Ahegao, Striptease, Nakedness, Voyeurism, Huniliation</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] Peanut-Butter Brit</strong></p>\n\n<p>The quick Lena Oxton and the brilliant ape Winston have been friends for quite a long time. In fact, they're almost like siblings, with a deep love for each other. But what happens when that love goes beyond strong friendship? A horny and desperate Tracer will find out when she gets her hands on a jar of premium peanut butter. After all, Winston does love the stuff, and anything it's on...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Beast, Big Cocks, Size Difference, Foodplay, Rimming, Anal, Seduction, Gaping, Oral, Insertions, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[Futa4F] Workout Session</strong></p>\n\n<p>Zarya doesn't like being the only female member of Overwatch who has a six-pack. In fact, she really thinks that the other girls need to get into better shape; after all, they are active agents, so staying physically-fit is a necessity! Especially if they wish to stay alive in this harsh world. So Zarya's going to invite each and every one of them to a special, private workout session where they will build muscle and burn fat. Obviously, working up a sweat also makes one quite horny, and there's plenty of calories to burn while fucking with the meat-rod Zarya has in store for any one of these girls...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Futanari On Female, Sweat, Muscles, Toys, Dirty Talk, Sauna, Oral, Clothed Sex, Fisting, Rough, Forced Orgasm, Alternate Costume: Champion or Weightlifter</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4F] High-Fliers</strong></p>\n\n<p>Let's be honest. Angela and Fareeha? Madly in love. Anybody can see it, and even the coldest, most oblivious members of Overwatch know there's something more between those two. Like how they tend to disappear sometimes after a mission, only reappearing sweaty and holding hands. Or how they make subtle, passive glances at each other's body. Or maybe how they occasionally get caught making out in the middle of a mission. You know, anything like that.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Yuri, Fingering, Scissoring, Romance, Secret / Public Fucking, Passion, Kissing, Raceplay, Teasing, Facesitting, Muscles, Lingerie, Petplay</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4F] The Hacker and the Gamer</strong></p>\n\n<p>D.Va was ludicrously confused when all of her highest scores simultaneously dropped to zero. I mean, how could that happen? She was the best! Unfortunately, she's not the only girl with technological know-how around here. When Hana discovered it was Sombra's doing, she vowed to get revenge. Of course, Sombra wasn't concerned the least bit; how could a small girl like Hana ever get her vengeance? No matter how much she taunted the young Korean, she would never expect the full, passionate kiss that would shock her to her bones. She never expected what came after that, either. It seems that the young gamer did get her revenge after all.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Kissing, Dub-Con, Toys, Yuri, Teasing, Orgasm Control, Role Reversal, Raceplay, Eventual Romance, Lingerie, Surprise</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[M4M] Electronic Classics</strong></p>\n\n<p>There's definitely an appreciation for the classics, especially when it comes to music. And sure, Lucio appreciated some of them, but he wasn't that old and he didn't care for it. Reinhardt, on the other hand, absolutely did! After a somewhat long and arduous argument involving many generations of musical talent being brought up, the two decided to agree to disagree and get their anger out the only way they know; how?\nFuck, duh.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Yaoi, Sweat, Muscles, Raceplay, Size Difference, Big Cocks, Anal, Oral, Dirty Talk, Rough, Loving</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[M4M] Old Soldiers</strong></p>\n\n<p>They've always had a deep, seeding hatred for each other. Ever since the attack at the Swiss Overwatch HQ, Morrison and Reyes have been sworn enemies. But when the two are faced with a joint mission that requires the both of them, they suddenly realize how easily their personalities mesh once again. The two become friends once again, and suddenly drinks after work become much more complicated when they end up in the same bed...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Hate-Fuck, Drunk, Yaoi, Anal, Oral, Sloppy Sex, Masturbation, Cumplay, Cock / Ass Worship, Clothed Sex, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4A] Efi, the Fangirl</strong></p>\n\n<p>It's hard to say that there's anybody out there with a bigger crush on Overwatch as an organization as Efi. Not only did they save her, but she even created a robot to emulate them in order to save other people. This kind of fascination tends to stick with a person. When she finally got the chance to meet the people working for the place she so loved, she was overwhelmed. Older and more mature, she still acted like a child around her childhood heroes; and that's not to say she didn't get...very close to a few of them.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Size Difference, Age Difference, Teasing, Seduction, Bisexual, Oral, Kissing, Rough, Clothed Sex, Petite, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4FM] Contest of Evil</strong></p>\n\n<p>Being one of the bad guys does have it's perks, after all, and the women of Talon need just as much sexual contact as the men do. Because of this, and seeing their somewhat isolated situation, there tends to be a lot of no-strings attached sex between Sombra, Reaper and Widowmaker. They may not like each other outside of work otherwise, but when they're not on the clock they're often in the same room going at it like no tomorrow. Almost ironic, huh?</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Threesome, Bisexual, Moody, Teasing, Oral, Anal, Kissing, Fisting</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4F] Like Mother, Like Daughter</strong></p>\n\n<p>Watching her daughter grow before her helped Ana realize what being a mom is all about; being there for your child. Unfortunately, Ana left when Fareeha was still young; their reunion was somewhat quick and too formal. In fact, Ana hasn't seen her daughter in so long that just the sight of the beautiful young woman was enough to get her own motherly groin wet...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Incest, Toys, Age Difference, Athletic Body, Mature, Kissing, Nakedness, Oral, Sensual, Teasing</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] Pharah's Training</strong></p>\n\n<p>Pharah will always remember the training she received while working for the Egyptain army after her mother left her. Of course, starting young, she had to get used to the military life; once she became of age, she immediately enlisted, and was thus subject to the harassment and hazing fit for the daughter of a top-soldier. She didn't mind, as she knew it would make her stronger someday. But occasionally she just gave in, and let the men around her use her as they pleased...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Gangbang, Raceplay, Anal, Oral, Double Penetration, Dirty Talk, Rough, Hair Pulling, Impregnation, Bukkake, Cumplay, Dub-Con, Alternate Costume: Security Chief</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4MM] Working Her Way to the Top</strong></p>\n\n<p>Symmetra knew that the first steps to world order and peace was control. Total, utter control. The only way to achieve that, though, was to become head of the Vishkar organization; a powerful, corporate entity specializing in light-form technology. But it's difficult to climb the corporate ladder, especially for a woman like herself; after a while, she realized the climb would be much, much easier with a couple cocks sucked or fucked. And here she is, in the CEO's office with the man himself and the Vice President. If she plays her cards right, this could go in her favor...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Threesome, Anal, Oral, Dub-Con, Double Penetration, Submission, Cumplay, Alternate Costume: Vishkar or Architech</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] Alejandra, Grown Up</strong></p>\n\n<p>Alejandra never forgot the night that Soldier 76, the previous leader of Overwatch, saved her life and became her de-facto hero. She would lay awake at night, thinking of the ways she adored him so much; she'd even touch herself from time to time with the thought of a man like him using a girl like her. But now she's grown up, and old enough to make those daydreams a reality. And she's going to do it, even if she needs to hunt him down and seduce him herself.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Age Difference, Big Cock, Seduction, Costumes, Impregnation, Anal, Oral, Raceplay, Childhood Hero, Rimming, Drugs / Alcohol</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[Futa4A] Orisa's New Hardware</strong></p>\n\n<p>Efi isn't exactly the most mature person. Sure, she's smart, and definitely one of the greatest inventors of her time. But it doesn't change the fact she's still got a juvenile, perverted sense of humor. From this sense of humor came the K-06K attachment module for Orisa, her robotic companion. In function, it was a large, robotic horse-shaped cock that would be used the same way anyone else's would. But since Efi needed willing volunteers, she decided to ask some of the local Overwatch members instead...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Robotic Futanari on Female / Male, Fucking Machine, Cumplay, Excessive Cum, Centaur Robot, Dub-Con, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4F] The Widow's Corruption</strong></p>\n\n<p>Widowmaker, having been corrupted herself by the dark forces of Talon, felt an odd urge to spread this malevolent awareness to others. Whether it was a special kind of hypnotic poison, or even just simple convincing tactics, she always seemed to be able to bring out the worst in people. On the bright side, though, the people she "mentored" tended to submit themselves to her anyway; she could corrupt anyone she wished, and turn them into her personal little playthings...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Hypnotic Suggestion, Corruption, Yuri, Rough, Humiliation, Name-Calling, Altered Costume, Exhibitionism, Alternate Costumes: Cybergoth/Industrial or Punk/Ultraviolet or Los Muertos/Azucar or Imp/Devil </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4Beast] The Combat Veterinarian</strong></p>\n\n<p>Mercy always knew she wanted to help others, to heal wounds. But she had to admit, she had no idea what to do when it came to animals. Sure, she could heal Winston and Omnics, but for some reason the more primal animals bested her knowledge of medicine. After one particularly nasty day of fighting, she found a hurt dog lying in rubble; quickly rescuing it, she realized that this dog would help her get more information on these creatures and how to nurse them back to health. But first? It seemed like the animal needed a bit of release before all that...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Beast, Cumplay, Impregnation, Anal, Masturbation, Sloppy Sex, Sloppy Kisses, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] The Brutality of the Enemy</strong></p>\n\n<p>Tracer was the figurehead of Overwatch, and while she didn't have a lot of authority, she was the face of all the good that the organization did in the world. Unfortunately, that means that there are some who'd rather see that face bloody and beaten, defeated and raped to show the world these people weren't infallible, and that they had weaknesses. When some Talon agents got their hands on Lena, they made absolutely sure she was aware of this.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Rough, Name Calling, Hair Pulling, Abduction, Pain, Scars, Non-Con, Anal, Oral, Gaping, Double Penetration, Triple Penetration, Gangbang, Raceplay, Recording, Excessive Brutality, Alternate Costume: Posh or Slipstream</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4A] The Overwatch-Approved Toilet</strong></p>\n\n<p>It seemed like a good idea at the time, but perhaps a contest to win a night of "anything goes" with any of the ladies of Overwatch in order to raise money wasn't such a good strategy after all. Especially since the winner, a total pervert, decided that he'd ask for a personal toilet of one of the ladies offered in the contest. Of course, he got his choice, and upon arriving at the Overwatch HQ he was greeted with a warm welcome and a special bathroom stall with a special rig to hold a special girl in place for all of his dirty uses...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Cumplay, Oral, Watersports, Anal, Free Use, Name Calling, Rough, Scat, Bondage</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[M4M] Shanghai Noon</strong></p>\n\n<p>When you're placed on a top-secret, government-issued team of stealthy super-soldiers, you learn to make friends, fast. And this was the case between the cyborg ninja Genji and his western-dressed companion McCree. The two would lie awake at night, pondering their future and the future of those they were sent to kill; but they didn't dwell on that part much. After a while the questions turned to suggestions, and before they knew it they were experimenting with each other in the most awkward of ways...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Anal, Oral, Yaoi, Experimenting, Kissing, Toys, Dirty Talk, Multiple Positions, Cumplay, Cum Inside, Light BDSM, Eventual Romance</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[A4A] Halloween Party at the Base</strong></p>\n\n<p>It's Halloween at Overwatch HQ! That means candy, fun, alcohol, and of course costumes! Everyone is dressed up and ready to have some messy, quickly-forgotten playtime. Some, in more revealing costumes, are eager to get into the mess of things; others, dressed in costume from head to toe, would prefer a more anonymous I-Don't-Care-Who-You-Are-Behind-The-Mask-Just-Fuck-Me situation. Basic costumes aren't the only kind the members can wear, after all! They're people too, with their own favorite franchises and styles of costume or cosplay. But any or all of them are getting lucky tonight!</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Costumes, Cosplay, Anonymous Fucking, Free Use, Public Fucking, Exhibitionism, Alternate Costume: Any Halloween Skin, Drunk, Sloppy Sex, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[FFFF4M] Secret Santa</strong></p>\n\n<p>It's Christmas time, and the Overwatch Secret Santa event is under way! Each person gifts another one, anonymously, something they know they like. So you can imagine the awkwardness when each female member of Overwatch pulled out a thick, well-designed dildo built just for them; of course, after the initial embarrassment, they'd all gone home and proved whoever made these toys was a genius. The catch? That genius was Torbjorn. And he's willing to make them more toys for a small fee himself...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Gangbang, Nymphomaniacs, Toys, Stretching, Oral, Anal, Bisexual, Ar Difference, Cumplay, Alternate Costume: Any Christmas Skin, Extreme Attraction to a Short Swedish Guy.</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] Tiefe Wunden</strong></p>\n\n<p>It's a damn good thing that Mercy is a core part of the Overwatch team, as her medical expertise is almost always needed after a tough mission. About a month ago, however, she began to exhibit some odd symptoms as her stomach grew a little larger...\nYup, one of the guys knocked her up a while back. Now she's got a bun in the oven, but that doesn't stop her from "healing" the wounds of all those who come into her lab. </p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Pregnant Sex, Impregnation, Lactation, Large Chest, MILF, Clothed Sex, Anal, Oral, Age Difference, Dirty Talk, Big Cocks</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4AA] Trick or Treat</strong></p>\n\n<p>Halloween is here and the kids are trick-or-treating! And there's plenty of candy to go around to all the brave boys and girls who venture to the Overwatch HQ on this night. But what might happen when two friends end up at the door of the base only to realize there's no candy left? Well, the person at the door may have to give them something of her own...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Age Difference, Costumes, Alternate Costume: Witch or Ghoul, Candy / Foodplay, Threesome, Bisexual, Ass Worship, Mature,</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4A] The Sniper's Wait</strong></p>\n\n<p>Being a top sniper in Overwatch isn't something to laugh about. The hours are long, you've got to wait for days on end, and it can be extremely stressful. Which, of course, tends to make a girl very...bored. Ana, in her youth, was no exception. She had to find other ways of entertaining herself. Some, of which, included other agents or the locals of the mission areas she was assigned to..</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Public Fucking, Alternate Costume: Captain Amari or Horus, Toys, Rough, Multiple Positions, Light BDSM, Cumplay, Anal,</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[Robot4A] Pleasure Subroutines</strong></p>\n\n<p>The robots of Overwatch never get much attention these days. At least, not the kind of attention they prefer. So you can imagine the interest that Zenyatta had when Efi brought him the plans for a new attachment to his body...as well as a special rear orifice.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Robot on Female, Robot on Male, Anal, Oral, Excessive Cum, Synthetic Cum, Cumplay, Facials, Experimenting, Rough, Stretching</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4AAA] The Possessed and Demonic</strong></p>\n\n<p>When all was quiet on All-Hallow's-Eve, one could sometimes hear the laughter of a witch, cackling as she casted spells on the unaware. This was especially so one night at the Overwatch HQ, when everyone was beginning to sleep off the party they'd had to celebrate the costumed holiday. The witch's magic drifted through the place like a smoke, awaking some agents and forcing their minds from them; they became dolls, possessed, puppets in her dark-magic hands. And she would have them do as she pleased this night.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Hypnosis, Bisexual, Forced, Alternate Costume: Any Halloween Skin, Gangbang, Orgy, Big Cocks, Femdom, Anal, Oral, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] The Cowboy on New Years!</strong></p>\n\n<p>Despite most of them not being Chinese or really caring about the significance of it all anyway, the members of Overwatch decided to throw a huge Chinese New Year party! Of course, Mei realized this was her chance to teach everyone about her culture; Unfortunately, this didn't exactly work as most were simply interested in copious drinking and partying. Mei even got her New Year's Robe out to wear, too. She thought she'd spend the night alone. That was, until, there was a knock at her door and she found a certain familiar, sympathetic and caring American cowboy behind it...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Romance, Anal, Chubby, Oral, Celebration, Drunk, Sweet Dirty Talk / Compliments, Alternate Costume: Chang'e or Luna, Passionate Sex, Clothed Sex, CFNM, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4M] A Grandmother's Ease</strong></p>\n\n<p>Ana's addition to the Overwatch team after so many years gone was somewhat of an odd decision. However, she meshed fairly well; though there was a definite age gap, and it was apparent. Some of the younger men, the rowdier ones in particular, acted a bit rude and harsh towards the lovely old lady; and she figured she'd show them how to behave with a little convincing.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Age Difference, Mature, Oral, Anal, Tag-Teamed, Double Penetration, Bondage, BDSM, Submissiveness, Threesome, Multiple Positions, CMNF, Alternate Costume: Wasteland or Wadjet</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[F4F] Introverts</strong></p>\n\n<p>D.Va and Mei had one very similar thing in common: they didn't like people. Or, rather, they didn't like <em>other</em> people. This became rather evident when the two were left alone after the rest of the team went on a mission without them. The two bonded over a video game they played together, and when they realized they had the entire HQ to themselves, they decided to have some real fun....</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Chubby, Size Difference, Yuri, Toys, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Costumes, Bondage, Femdom, Humiliation, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[FF4M] The Two New Recruits</strong></p>\n\n<p>Plenty of people have been saved, inspired, and even recruited for Overwatch. But few can say they've been all three; that is, except for Efi and Alejandra. The two had become infatuated with Overwatch in their earlier years and would now do anything they needed in order to join as they are of proper age currently. This includes the various things the recruiter, an agent of Overwatch, would have them do..</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Threesome, Age Difference, Size Difference, Big Cock, Impregnation, Bisexual, Anal, Oral, Costumes, Rimming, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p><strong>[A4A] The 63 Reversal</strong></p>\n\n<p>Overwatch is always recruiting new members and designing new technology to suit each and every agent personally. However, after a little bit of toying around in his lab, Winston created a somewhat "odd" device he figured would have some application at some point in the future. The tech? A gun that, when fired, reverses the sex of the person it's targeting. Men become women and women become men, keeping all of their memories but changing their bodies entirely to match. An odd device, sure, but at least there aren't any pranksters around who've got ahold of it yet...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Rule 63, Big Cocks, Big Chest / Ass, Role Reversal, Impregnation, Femdom, Anal, Oral, Transformation</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>[F4M] Punishing Him.</p>\n\n<p>Widowmaker chuckled to herself as the door to her room slowly opened, the light from the hallway making a bar of visibility before her. Her eyes scanned the room, latching onto a dark figure standing in the corner by her bed. Using her Infra-Sight, she saw that the figure had their hands in her panty drawer; typical. She approached slowly, not making a noise, until she was right behind he culprit. "Looking for something?" She asked, as the figure before her jumped after being startled. </p>\n\n<p>"Now, it seems I've got to punish you, hm?"</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Strapon, Toys, Femdom, Rough, Dirty Talk, Feminization, Anal, Oral, Stretching, Multiple Positions, Bondage, BDSM, Slapping, Hair Pulling, CFNM</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>[T4M] "Her" Secret</p>\n\n<p>It was late one night, and Sombra had been up browsing through Overwatch's files. She did it all the time, typically just for kicks or to see what's going on in the upper management. But this night, she found something...especially interesting. If this information was correct, then it would mean that this female member of Overwatch was actually a boy? There's no way that could be true! But here it was: born male, and still so. Sombra realized the power she now held; she could sell this info to anybody within Overwatch for some serious blackmail rights. And she knew a particular man who would love to hear this...</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Crossdressing, Trap, Anal, Oral, Blackmail, Dub-Con, Yaoi, Dirty Talk, Submission, </p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>[F4FFFFF] The Girl's Locker Room\n[M4MMMMM] The Boy's Locker Room</p>\n\n<p>This scenario includes every member of the Overwatch team in their respective Locker Room. As a joke, Sombra uses her hacking skills to flood the room with pheromones and it makes a bit of a sexual frenzy. The ensuing madness is a huge orgy of frustrated release, wherever everyone is included and nobody is ignored.</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Gangbang, Cumplay, Orgy, Multiple Partners, Toys, Double Penetration, Kissing, Drugs, Rough, Bisexual, Costumes</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>[F4M] Tracer's Race Rivals</p>\n\n<p>Tracer stepped into the locker room from the field, confident in herself; she had just won the 800m dash, as well as beaten the record for the previous owner by a whole twelve seconds. Of course, that's easy when you're literally able to control time. Unfortunately, there were a couple contestants not too happy about this blatant cheating...and by hiding in the locker room in wait, they'll show her what it means to "play fair."</p>\n\n<p>Kinks: Raceplay, gangbang, bisexual, Alternate Costume: Sprinter or Track-and-Field, non-Con, dub-Con, Cumplay, Impregnation, Bukkake, oral, anal, double penetration, triple penetration / cock stuffing</p>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<hr/>\n\n<p>And that's it! Thanks for taking the time to read my prompts and congrats if you actually made it this far to the bottom!\nI tried to be accommodating to every kink I could think, but if your favorite taboo thing isn't listed here just tell me. I'll always take recommendations for kinks or ideas for scenarios to add into my list next time. However, I won't play any that you may suggest at that time; I'll just consider adding them to my prompt overall. I'm extremely kinky so don't feel bad about suggesting anything!</p>\n\n<p>I hope you enjoyed this and I hope we'll have fun together!</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hello, all! This is my first post on DPP and comprises my entire brain's worth of Overwatch-related prompts that I have written slowly over the course of a few months lurking on this sub. So, enjoy!\n\nIf you'd like to play, just specify which prompt, your limits, and any other comments you may have. Please try to accept the kinks added, I try to be very appealing to everyone's personal stuff, but I'd rather not switch out some kinks for others in order to keep it closer to the prompt idea. I hope to hear from any of you eager Overwatch fans and I hope to make a lot of fun memories with all of you.\n\nAlso, on a side-note, please have a single prompt and character in mind when you choose. I'm not really one to \"pick my own favorite\" or \"choose who you play.\"\n\nI'll also ask that anybody who plays be pretty familiar with the game. You don't have to be an expert, but if you've never heard of this game, then it might not be a good idea to message me and ask. \n\n(some additional notes for kinks:)\n1. Age Difference is not Ageplay. It just means a larger difference in age between both characters over 18.\n2. I don't include straight \"pussy fucking\" in the kinklist because it's not technically a kink. Anal and Oral are because they're different. \n3. \"Alternate Costumes\" means specific to the character; \"Costumes\" means any kind of costume, in the game or not.\n4. I can provide a reference for any of the alternate costumes, but you should already (ideally) know what they look like anyway.\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4A] D.Va's New Livestream**\n\nAfter realizing that her Pro-Starcraft viewer ratings are starting to plummet, D.Va discovers a new way she can stay famous online; a new, nudity-approved livestream. Typically, she'll just play her games and as people pay more money she'll strip even further. Occasionally she'll finish a match entirely nude. But sometimes, when larger amounts of money role in, she'll pull out her box of toys or even invite a \"friend\" over to put on a show for the loyal, and paying, viewers. \n\nKinks: Toys, Recorded, Oral, Multiple Positions, Ahegao, Striptease, Nakedness, Voyeurism, Huniliation\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] Peanut-Butter Brit**\n\nThe quick Lena Oxton and the brilliant ape Winston have been friends for quite a long time. In fact, they're almost like siblings, with a deep love for each other. But what happens when that love goes beyond strong friendship? A horny and desperate Tracer will find out when she gets her hands on a jar of premium peanut butter. After all, Winston does love the stuff, and anything it's on...\n\nKinks: Beast, Big Cocks, Size Difference, Foodplay, Rimming, Anal, Seduction, Gaping, Oral, Insertions, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[Futa4F] Workout Session**\n\nZarya doesn't like being the only female member of Overwatch who has a six-pack. In fact, she really thinks that the other girls need to get into better shape; after all, they are active agents, so staying physically-fit is a necessity! Especially if they wish to stay alive in this harsh world. So Zarya's going to invite each and every one of them to a special, private workout session where they will build muscle and burn fat. Obviously, working up a sweat also makes one quite horny, and there's plenty of calories to burn while fucking with the meat-rod Zarya has in store for any one of these girls...\n\nKinks: Futanari On Female, Sweat, Muscles, Toys, Dirty Talk, Sauna, Oral, Clothed Sex, Fisting, Rough, Forced Orgasm, Alternate Costume: Champion or Weightlifter\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4F] High-Fliers**\n\nLet's be honest. Angela and Fareeha? Madly in love. Anybody can see it, and even the coldest, most oblivious members of Overwatch know there's something more between those two. Like how they tend to disappear sometimes after a mission, only reappearing sweaty and holding hands. Or how they make subtle, passive glances at each other's body. Or maybe how they occasionally get caught making out in the middle of a mission. You know, anything like that.\n\nKinks: Yuri, Fingering, Scissoring, Romance, Secret / Public Fucking, Passion, Kissing, Raceplay, Teasing, Facesitting, Muscles, Lingerie, Petplay\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4F] The Hacker and the Gamer**\n\nD.Va was ludicrously confused when all of her highest scores simultaneously dropped to zero. I mean, how could that happen? She was the best! Unfortunately, she's not the only girl with technological know-how around here. When Hana discovered it was Sombra's doing, she vowed to get revenge. Of course, Sombra wasn't concerned the least bit; how could a small girl like Hana ever get her vengeance? No matter how much she taunted the young Korean, she would never expect the full, passionate kiss that would shock her to her bones. She never expected what came after that, either. It seems that the young gamer did get her revenge after all.\n\nKinks: Kissing, Dub-Con, Toys, Yuri, Teasing, Orgasm Control, Role Reversal, Raceplay, Eventual Romance, Lingerie, Surprise\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[M4M] Electronic Classics**\n\nThere's definitely an appreciation for the classics, especially when it comes to music. And sure, Lucio appreciated some of them, but he wasn't that old and he didn't care for it. Reinhardt, on the other hand, absolutely did! After a somewhat long and arduous argument involving many generations of musical talent being brought up, the two decided to agree to disagree and get their anger out the only way they know; how?\nFuck, duh.\n\nKinks: Yaoi, Sweat, Muscles, Raceplay, Size Difference, Big Cocks, Anal, Oral, Dirty Talk, Rough, Loving\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[M4M] Old Soldiers**\n\nThey've always had a deep, seeding hatred for each other. Ever since the attack at the Swiss Overwatch HQ, Morrison and Reyes have been sworn enemies. But when the two are faced with a joint mission that requires the both of them, they suddenly realize how easily their personalities mesh once again. The two become friends once again, and suddenly drinks after work become much more complicated when they end up in the same bed...\n\nKinks: Hate-Fuck, Drunk, Yaoi, Anal, Oral, Sloppy Sex, Masturbation, Cumplay, Cock / Ass Worship, Clothed Sex, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4A] Efi, the Fangirl**\n\nIt's hard to say that there's anybody out there with a bigger crush on Overwatch as an organization as Efi. Not only did they save her, but she even created a robot to emulate them in order to save other people. This kind of fascination tends to stick with a person. When she finally got the chance to meet the people working for the place she so loved, she was overwhelmed. Older and more mature, she still acted like a child around her childhood heroes; and that's not to say she didn't get...very close to a few of them.\n\nKinks: Size Difference, Age Difference, Teasing, Seduction, Bisexual, Oral, Kissing, Rough, Clothed Sex, Petite, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4FM] Contest of Evil**\n\nBeing one of the bad guys does have it's perks, after all, and the women of Talon need just as much sexual contact as the men do. Because of this, and seeing their somewhat isolated situation, there tends to be a lot of no-strings attached sex between Sombra, Reaper and Widowmaker. They may not like each other outside of work otherwise, but when they're not on the clock they're often in the same room going at it like no tomorrow. Almost ironic, huh?\n\nKinks: Threesome, Bisexual, Moody, Teasing, Oral, Anal, Kissing, Fisting\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4F] Like Mother, Like Daughter**\n\nWatching her daughter grow before her helped Ana realize what being a mom is all about; being there for your child. Unfortunately, Ana left when Fareeha was still young; their reunion was somewhat quick and too formal. In fact, Ana hasn't seen her daughter in so long that just the sight of the beautiful young woman was enough to get her own motherly groin wet...\n\nKinks: Incest, Toys, Age Difference, Athletic Body, Mature, Kissing, Nakedness, Oral, Sensual, Teasing\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] Pharah's Training**\n\nPharah will always remember the training she received while working for the Egyptain army after her mother left her. Of course, starting young, she had to get used to the military life; once she became of age, she immediately enlisted, and was thus subject to the harassment and hazing fit for the daughter of a top-soldier. She didn't mind, as she knew it would make her stronger someday. But occasionally she just gave in, and let the men around her use her as they pleased...\n\nKinks: Gangbang, Raceplay, Anal, Oral, Double Penetration, Dirty Talk, Rough, Hair Pulling, Impregnation, Bukkake, Cumplay, Dub-Con, Alternate Costume: Security Chief\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4MM] Working Her Way to the Top**\n\nSymmetra knew that the first steps to world order and peace was control. Total, utter control. The only way to achieve that, though, was to become head of the Vishkar organization; a powerful, corporate entity specializing in light-form technology. But it's difficult to climb the corporate ladder, especially for a woman like herself; after a while, she realized the climb would be much, much easier with a couple cocks sucked or fucked. And here she is, in the CEO's office with the man himself and the Vice President. If she plays her cards right, this could go in her favor...\n\nKinks: Threesome, Anal, Oral, Dub-Con, Double Penetration, Submission, Cumplay, Alternate Costume: Vishkar or Architech\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] Alejandra, Grown Up**\n\nAlejandra never forgot the night that Soldier 76, the previous leader of Overwatch, saved her life and became her de-facto hero. She would lay awake at night, thinking of the ways she adored him so much; she'd even touch herself from time to time with the thought of a man like him using a girl like her. But now she's grown up, and old enough to make those daydreams a reality. And she's going to do it, even if she needs to hunt him down and seduce him herself.\n\nKinks: Age Difference, Big Cock, Seduction, Costumes, Impregnation, Anal, Oral, Raceplay, Childhood Hero, Rimming, Drugs / Alcohol\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[Futa4A] Orisa's New Hardware**\n\nEfi isn't exactly the most mature person. Sure, she's smart, and definitely one of the greatest inventors of her time. But it doesn't change the fact she's still got a juvenile, perverted sense of humor. From this sense of humor came the K-06K attachment module for Orisa, her robotic companion. In function, it was a large, robotic horse-shaped cock that would be used the same way anyone else's would. But since Efi needed willing volunteers, she decided to ask some of the local Overwatch members instead...\n\nKinks: Robotic Futanari on Female / Male, Fucking Machine, Cumplay, Excessive Cum, Centaur Robot, Dub-Con, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4F] The Widow's Corruption**\n\nWidowmaker, having been corrupted herself by the dark forces of Talon, felt an odd urge to spread this malevolent awareness to others. Whether it was a special kind of hypnotic poison, or even just simple convincing tactics, she always seemed to be able to bring out the worst in people. On the bright side, though, the people she \"mentored\" tended to submit themselves to her anyway; she could corrupt anyone she wished, and turn them into her personal little playthings...\n\nKinks: Hypnotic Suggestion, Corruption, Yuri, Rough, Humiliation, Name-Calling, Altered Costume, Exhibitionism, Alternate Costumes: Cybergoth/Industrial or Punk/Ultraviolet or Los Muertos/Azucar or Imp/Devil \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4Beast] The Combat Veterinarian**\n\nMercy always knew she wanted to help others, to heal wounds. But she had to admit, she had no idea what to do when it came to animals. Sure, she could heal Winston and Omnics, but for some reason the more primal animals bested her knowledge of medicine. After one particularly nasty day of fighting, she found a hurt dog lying in rubble; quickly rescuing it, she realized that this dog would help her get more information on these creatures and how to nurse them back to health. But first? It seemed like the animal needed a bit of release before all that...\n\nKinks: Beast, Cumplay, Impregnation, Anal, Masturbation, Sloppy Sex, Sloppy Kisses, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] The Brutality of the Enemy**\n\nTracer was the figurehead of Overwatch, and while she didn't have a lot of authority, she was the face of all the good that the organization did in the world. Unfortunately, that means that there are some who'd rather see that face bloody and beaten, defeated and raped to show the world these people weren't infallible, and that they had weaknesses. When some Talon agents got their hands on Lena, they made absolutely sure she was aware of this.\n\nKinks: Rough, Name Calling, Hair Pulling, Abduction, Pain, Scars, Non-Con, Anal, Oral, Gaping, Double Penetration, Triple Penetration, Gangbang, Raceplay, Recording, Excessive Brutality, Alternate Costume: Posh or Slipstream\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4A] The Overwatch-Approved Toilet**\n\nIt seemed like a good idea at the time, but perhaps a contest to win a night of \"anything goes\" with any of the ladies of Overwatch in order to raise money wasn't such a good strategy after all. Especially since the winner, a total pervert, decided that he'd ask for a personal toilet of one of the ladies offered in the contest. Of course, he got his choice, and upon arriving at the Overwatch HQ he was greeted with a warm welcome and a special bathroom stall with a special rig to hold a special girl in place for all of his dirty uses...\n\nKinks: Cumplay, Oral, Watersports, Anal, Free Use, Name Calling, Rough, Scat, Bondage\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[M4M] Shanghai Noon**\n\nWhen you're placed on a top-secret, government-issued team of stealthy super-soldiers, you learn to make friends, fast. And this was the case between the cyborg ninja Genji and his western-dressed companion McCree. The two would lie awake at night, pondering their future and the future of those they were sent to kill; but they didn't dwell on that part much. After a while the questions turned to suggestions, and before they knew it they were experimenting with each other in the most awkward of ways...\n\nKinks: Anal, Oral, Yaoi, Experimenting, Kissing, Toys, Dirty Talk, Multiple Positions, Cumplay, Cum Inside, Light BDSM, Eventual Romance\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[A4A] Halloween Party at the Base**\n\nIt's Halloween at Overwatch HQ! That means candy, fun, alcohol, and of course costumes! Everyone is dressed up and ready to have some messy, quickly-forgotten playtime. Some, in more revealing costumes, are eager to get into the mess of things; others, dressed in costume from head to toe, would prefer a more anonymous I-Don't-Care-Who-You-Are-Behind-The-Mask-Just-Fuck-Me situation. Basic costumes aren't the only kind the members can wear, after all! They're people too, with their own favorite franchises and styles of costume or cosplay. But any or all of them are getting lucky tonight!\n\nKinks: Costumes, Cosplay, Anonymous Fucking, Free Use, Public Fucking, Exhibitionism, Alternate Costume: Any Halloween Skin, Drunk, Sloppy Sex, \n\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[FFFF4M] Secret Santa**\n\nIt's Christmas time, and the Overwatch Secret Santa event is under way! Each person gifts another one, anonymously, something they know they like. So you can imagine the awkwardness when each female member of Overwatch pulled out a thick, well-designed dildo built just for them; of course, after the initial embarrassment, they'd all gone home and proved whoever made these toys was a genius. The catch? That genius was Torbjorn. And he's willing to make them more toys for a small fee himself...\n\nKinks: Gangbang, Nymphomaniacs, Toys, Stretching, Oral, Anal, Bisexual, Ar Difference, Cumplay, Alternate Costume: Any Christmas Skin, Extreme Attraction to a Short Swedish Guy.\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] Tiefe Wunden**\n\nIt's a damn good thing that Mercy is a core part of the Overwatch team, as her medical expertise is almost always needed after a tough mission. About a month ago, however, she began to exhibit some odd symptoms as her stomach grew a little larger...\nYup, one of the guys knocked her up a while back. Now she's got a bun in the oven, but that doesn't stop her from \"healing\" the wounds of all those who come into her lab. \n\nKinks: Pregnant Sex, Impregnation, Lactation, Large Chest, MILF, Clothed Sex, Anal, Oral, Age Difference, Dirty Talk, Big Cocks\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4AA] Trick or Treat**\n\nHalloween is here and the kids are trick-or-treating! And there's plenty of candy to go around to all the brave boys and girls who venture to the Overwatch HQ on this night. But what might happen when two friends end up at the door of the base only to realize there's no candy left? Well, the person at the door may have to give them something of her own...\n\nKinks: Age Difference, Costumes, Alternate Costume: Witch or Ghoul, Candy / Foodplay, Threesome, Bisexual, Ass Worship, Mature,\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4A] The Sniper's Wait**\n\nBeing a top sniper in Overwatch isn't something to laugh about. The hours are long, you've got to wait for days on end, and it can be extremely stressful. Which, of course, tends to make a girl very...bored. Ana, in her youth, was no exception. She had to find other ways of entertaining herself. Some, of which, included other agents or the locals of the mission areas she was assigned to..\n\nKinks: Public Fucking, Alternate Costume: Captain Amari or Horus, Toys, Rough, Multiple Positions, Light BDSM, Cumplay, Anal,\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[Robot4A] Pleasure Subroutines**\n\nThe robots of Overwatch never get much attention these days. At least, not the kind of attention they prefer. So you can imagine the interest that Zenyatta had when Efi brought him the plans for a new attachment to his body...as well as a special rear orifice.\n\nKinks: Robot on Female, Robot on Male, Anal, Oral, Excessive Cum, Synthetic Cum, Cumplay, Facials, Experimenting, Rough, Stretching\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4AAA] The Possessed and Demonic**\n\nWhen all was quiet on All-Hallow's-Eve, one could sometimes hear the laughter of a witch, cackling as she casted spells on the unaware. This was especially so one night at the Overwatch HQ, when everyone was beginning to sleep off the party they'd had to celebrate the costumed holiday. The witch's magic drifted through the place like a smoke, awaking some agents and forcing their minds from them; they became dolls, possessed, puppets in her dark-magic hands. And she would have them do as she pleased this night.\n\nKinks: Hypnosis, Bisexual, Forced, Alternate Costume: Any Halloween Skin, Gangbang, Orgy, Big Cocks, Femdom, Anal, Oral, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] The Cowboy on New Years!**\n\nDespite most of them not being Chinese or really caring about the significance of it all anyway, the members of Overwatch decided to throw a huge Chinese New Year party! Of course, Mei realized this was her chance to teach everyone about her culture; Unfortunately, this didn't exactly work as most were simply interested in copious drinking and partying. Mei even got her New Year's Robe out to wear, too. She thought she'd spend the night alone. That was, until, there was a knock at her door and she found a certain familiar, sympathetic and caring American cowboy behind it...\n\nKinks: Romance, Anal, Chubby, Oral, Celebration, Drunk, Sweet Dirty Talk / Compliments, Alternate Costume: Chang'e or Luna, Passionate Sex, Clothed Sex, CFNM, \n\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4M] A Grandmother's Ease**\n\nAna's addition to the Overwatch team after so many years gone was somewhat of an odd decision. However, she meshed fairly well; though there was a definite age gap, and it was apparent. Some of the younger men, the rowdier ones in particular, acted a bit rude and harsh towards the lovely old lady; and she figured she'd show them how to behave with a little convincing.\n\nKinks: Age Difference, Mature, Oral, Anal, Tag-Teamed, Double Penetration, Bondage, BDSM, Submissiveness, Threesome, Multiple Positions, CMNF, Alternate Costume: Wasteland or Wadjet\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[F4F] Introverts**\n\nD.Va and Mei had one very similar thing in common: they didn't like people. Or, rather, they didn't like *other* people. This became rather evident when the two were left alone after the rest of the team went on a mission without them. The two bonded over a video game they played together, and when they realized they had the entire HQ to themselves, they decided to have some real fun....\n\nKinks: Chubby, Size Difference, Yuri, Toys, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Costumes, Bondage, Femdom, Humiliation, \n\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[FF4M] The Two New Recruits**\n\nPlenty of people have been saved, inspired, and even recruited for Overwatch. But few can say they've been all three; that is, except for Efi and Alejandra. The two had become infatuated with Overwatch in their earlier years and would now do anything they needed in order to join as they are of proper age currently. This includes the various things the recruiter, an agent of Overwatch, would have them do..\n\nKinks: Threesome, Age Difference, Size Difference, Big Cock, Impregnation, Bisexual, Anal, Oral, Costumes, Rimming, \n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\n**[A4A] The 63 Reversal**\n\nOverwatch is always recruiting new members and designing new technology to suit each and every agent personally. However, after a little bit of toying around in his lab, Winston created a somewhat \"odd\" device he figured would have some application at some point in the future. The tech? A gun that, when fired, reverses the sex of the person it's targeting. Men become women and women become men, keeping all of their memories but changing their bodies entirely to match. An odd device, sure, but at least there aren't any pranksters around who've got ahold of it yet...\n\nKinks: Rule 63, Big Cocks, Big Chest / Ass, Role Reversal, Impregnation, Femdom, Anal, Oral, Transformation\n\n--------------------------------------------------\n\n[F4M] Punishing Him.\n\nWidowmaker chuckled to herself as the door to her room slowly opened, the light from the hallway making a bar of visibility before her. Her eyes scanned the room, latching onto a dark figure standing in the corner by her bed. Using her Infra-Sight, she saw that the figure had their hands in her panty drawer; typical. She approached slowly, not making a noise, until she was right behind he culprit. \"Looking for something?\" She asked, as the figure before her jumped after being startled. \n\n\"Now, it seems I've got to punish you, hm?\"\n\nKinks: Strapon, Toys, Femdom, Rough, Dirty Talk, Feminization, Anal, Oral, Stretching, Multiple Positions, Bondage, BDSM, Slapping, Hair Pulling, CFNM\n\n--------------------------------------------------\n\n[T4M] \"Her\" Secret\n\nIt was late one night, and Sombra had been up browsing through Overwatch's files. She did it all the time, typically just for kicks or to see what's going on in the upper management. But this night, she found something...especially interesting. If this information was correct, then it would mean that this female member of Overwatch was actually a boy? There's no way that could be true! But here it was: born male, and still so. Sombra realized the power she now held; she could sell this info to anybody within Overwatch for some serious blackmail rights. And she knew a particular man who would love to hear this...\n\nKinks: Crossdressing, Trap, Anal, Oral, Blackmail, Dub-Con, Yaoi, Dirty Talk, Submission, \n\n--------------------------------------------------\n\n[F4FFFFF] The Girl's Locker Room\n[M4MMMMM] The Boy's Locker Room\n\nThis scenario includes every member of the Overwatch team in their respective Locker Room. As a joke, Sombra uses her hacking skills to flood the room with pheromones and it makes a bit of a sexual frenzy. The ensuing madness is a huge orgy of frustrated release, wherever everyone is included and nobody is ignored.\n\nKinks: Gangbang, Cumplay, Orgy, Multiple Partners, Toys, Double Penetration, Kissing, Drugs, Rough, Bisexual, Costumes\n\n---------------------------------------------------\n\n[F4M] Tracer's Race Rivals\n\nTracer stepped into the locker room from the field, confident in herself; she had just won the 800m dash, as well as beaten the record for the previous owner by a whole twelve seconds. Of course, that's easy when you're literally able to control time. Unfortunately, there were a couple contestants not too happy about this blatant cheating...and by hiding in the locker room in wait, they'll show her what it means to \"play fair.\"\n\nKinks: Raceplay, gangbang, bisexual, Alternate Costume: Sprinter or Track-and-Field, non-Con, dub-Con, Cumplay, Impregnation, Bukkake, oral, anal, double penetration, triple penetration / cock stuffing\n\n-----------------------------------------------\n\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\nAnd that's it! Thanks for taking the time to read my prompts and congrats if you actually made it this far to the bottom!\nI tried to be accommodating to every kink I could think, but if your favorite taboo thing isn't listed here just tell me. I'll always take recommendations for kinks or ideas for scenarios to add into my list next time. However, I won't play any that you may suggest at that time; I'll just consider adding them to my prompt overall. I'm extremely kinky so don't feel bad about suggesting anything!\n\nI hope you enjoyed this and I hope we'll have fun together!\n\n",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hello I hope I'm not breaking any rules.</p>\n\n<p>There is (are? hard to say) hedgehog walking around at night and when I let my dog out, he usually runs to it and grabs it. Neither of them get visibly injured but I dont really know what to look for and how to make sure they're both fine. Do hedgehogs pretend to be okay or will I notice if it's hurt? Do they put their spikes up quickly enough to protect themselves? Should I just move it to the grass and let it go on its business? Is dog fine if I dont notice any bleeding?</p>\n\n<p>Thanks!</p>\n\n<p>Sorry if im being oblivious or stupid with my questions :C.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hello I hope I'm not breaking any rules.\n\nThere is (are? hard to say) hedgehog walking around at night and when I let my dog out, he usually runs to it and grabs it. Neither of them get visibly injured but I dont really know what to look for and how to make sure they're both fine. Do hedgehogs pretend to be okay or will I notice if it's hurt? Do they put their spikes up quickly enough to protect themselves? Should I just move it to the grass and let it go on its business? Is dog fine if I dont notice any bleeding?\n\nThanks!\n\nSorry if im being oblivious or stupid with my questions :C.",
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"selftext": "It was late afternoon on a Thursday. I came home around 6:00pm from a long day of work. Spent \rthe whole day driving from construction site to construction site in a traffic-filled city doing \r\nenvironmental inspections and making reports. It was a lot tiring compared to the norm.\n\nI started my normal routine: take a shower, feed the pets, do the laundry, and begin making \r\ndinner.\n\nMy husband came home about an hour later. We have our little cocktail hour (we sit and drink a \r\nglass of wine while we talk about each other’s day.) \r\nWe finished eating dinner and spent the next few hours cuddled on the sofa watching Netflix till \r\nI started to doze off. \r\n \r\n\"Let's go to bed love. Let me take the dogs out and I'll meet you upstairs\", he said. \n\r\nI agree and turn the lights off downstairs. He takes the dogs and walks out of the house. \n\r\nHalf asleep, I walk up the stairs, turn on the night light at the top of the stairs, walk into the \r\nbedroom, change into pajamas, switch off the lights and crash into bed. I set my alarm for the \r\nmorning and started to fall asleep. \n\nWhat seems like a couple minutes later I wake up to someone getting in bed with me and putting their arms around me. \r\n\n\"That was fast, did they both do their business?\" I asked. \r\n\nNo answer. \n\r\nToo sleepy to process anything else, I said goodnight. \r\n\nAs I closed my eyes I heard the front door open downstairs, my husband's voice telling the dogs \r\nto come inside, and the bells on their leash jingling. ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>We went wandering around some business's to check out the dumpsters. We found:\n8 Haagen das popsicles. \nA couple packs of raspberries and a bell pepper. \n3 tomatoes. \n2 packs of fried chicken, expired today and it was basically as cold as a refrigerator out there so its all good. \n2 ice cream cookies, the rest had holes and I wasn't taking the chance. \nA bag of mandarin oranges. \nSame pretty, fake flowers. \nA sealed pack of benadryl allergy relief gel pills.</p>\n\n<p>But the biggest score was half a bag of 30 pound, Authority dog food, beef and rice blend. Checked it out, no recalls and it expires next year. Sifted through it just in case there was glass since SmarttyPet hurled a fish tank in the trash. How much was food?</p>\n\n<p>$34 online, $37 in stores. Plus whatever tax might've been. </p>\n\n<p>We're absolutely giddy and the dog is in love with his food, that filled a five gallon bucket.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "We went wandering around some business's to check out the dumpsters. We found:\n8 Haagen das popsicles. \nA couple packs of raspberries and a bell pepper. \n3 tomatoes. \n2 packs of fried chicken, expired today and it was basically as cold as a refrigerator out there so its all good. \n2 ice cream cookies, the rest had holes and I wasn't taking the chance. \nA bag of mandarin oranges. \nSame pretty, fake flowers. \nA sealed pack of benadryl allergy relief gel pills.\n\nBut the biggest score was half a bag of 30 pound, Authority dog food, beef and rice blend. Checked it out, no recalls and it expires next year. Sifted through it just in case there was glass since SmarttyPet hurled a fish tank in the trash. How much was food?\n\n$34 online, $37 in stores. Plus whatever tax might've been. \n\nWe're absolutely giddy and the dog is in love with his food, that filled a five gallon bucket.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>The Feminist Mother Legion \n“We now know who is the stronger, smarter, and better gender. It is us the Feminist Mothers, we will soon conquer this world and make all men bow before our ovaries as we spew vaginal fluids upon their face like the superior sex we are. Eliminating all who stand before us because we are the Feminist Mother Legion.” Josh’s mother spoke this truth loud and clear for all to hear for she is the leader of the Feminist Mothers. Her son Joshua was next to her on a dog leash occasionally being fed treats for not shiting on her moon boots. Jangles was in the crowd disguised as a woman. \n In this timeline, The Feminist Mother Legion have begun their operation of taking all power away from men starting with the U.S government. Jangles is here to return the power into the right hands. \n Jangles was about to pull out his m-9 to assassinate Josh’s mother when all of the sudden an axe wielding beast ran through the crowd decapitating feminist after feminist. In the midst of the chaos Josh’s mother sprouted wings the wingspan of Air Force One grabbed Josh by the gonads and flew off to her layer.Jangles fired off eight shots missing every single one and in the crosshairs shooting three seagulls having a threesome in the sky. After the beast had massacred all the feminists he began to charge towards Jangles. Jangles whipped out his ginormous cock and impaled the beast’s in his head. After Jangles ejected his penis projectile out of the beast’s bleeding and shattered interior skull to discover there was a tracking device deep within the beast’s cranium. Jangles was then able to trace the signal back to the point of origin.\nJangles teleported as close as could to the location without getting spotted, which just happened to be outside the dog house, Josh’s mother kept Josh in. Jangles peered inside to see an extremely spacious headquarters that Josh had converted into underground fight club. The fight currently going on was between a rather plump individual dressed like a mid west black man living on poverty and a significantly athletic man in a business suit with his hair slicked back and his dick hanging out. All of the sudden a Jewish rabbi on meth drooling blood from the mouth and wielding a katana in one hand and a vice grip in the other. The rabbi then charged the businessman, raised his katana in the air and yelled “VESECTIMENE!” The penis of about six inches long dropped to dirt floor with large clunk. The rabbi then poked the penis with his elongated fingernail piercing the meat and pushing the dick onto the fingernail like a kabob then rapey rabbi ran off. Jangles wanted that kabob but this was no time for snacks, he had to save the world. Jangles saw Josh sneak out the back door running on all fours. Jangles ran after him for when he was a little Mexican boy he had to run across the border without getting shot, so you better believe it when I tell you he was faster than a nigger. Jangles eventually caught up to Josh to see Josh enter what appeared to be an old Soviet factory from the cold war. Inside the factory, Jangles saw a huge missile shaped like a big black cock about to launch. Underneath it holding the detonator was Josh’s mother and Justov in the corner beating Josh with his own dog leash that was originally around his neck. Jangles quickly teleported into josh’s mother uterus, expanding it so far that her lower half eventually exploded. Josh then released his full potential when shooting laser out of the ends of long ass hair straight into Justov’s nipples. Justov got up letting out a high pitch squeal which summoned the ghosts of his communist ancestors: Karl Marx, Stalin, Vladimir Lenin, and Kristaps Porzingis. Jangles was busy defusing the missile with his semen. So Josh had to call his favorite ghostbusters Connor Geiser, Hesse Nielsen, and Brandon Lopez. Connor pulled out his quantum defibrillator, charged it up after he plunged at Karl going in side of him and not in a sexual way, then exploding the Marx man into little pieces of communist manifesto. While Brandon pulled his dick out to see how it would feel inside of a ghost and it turn out to feel really causing him to have massive orgasim realseing jizz onto Stalin and Lenin exploding into a bunch hammers and sickles. Hesse when with a different approach by throwing a jar of jizz in the air and using his Tesla cannon to explode it all over Porzongingas as he evaporated into pieces of trash.As soon as the confrontation with the communist ghosts was over, Justov was nowhere to be seen. Jangles had diffused the cock shaped missile.”Just another job well done” as Jangles tightened his bow tie teleporting him to his next adventure.\nBy: Domthagenius and Catharticbasegod</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "The Feminist Mother Legion \n“We now know who is the stronger, smarter, and better gender. It is us the Feminist Mothers, we will soon conquer this world and make all men bow before our ovaries as we spew vaginal fluids upon their face like the superior sex we are. Eliminating all who stand before us because we are the Feminist Mother Legion.” Josh’s mother spoke this truth loud and clear for all to hear for she is the leader of the Feminist Mothers. Her son Joshua was next to her on a dog leash occasionally being fed treats for not shiting on her moon boots. Jangles was in the crowd disguised as a woman. \n\tIn this timeline, The Feminist Mother Legion have begun their operation of taking all power away from men starting with the U.S government. Jangles is here to return the power into the right hands. \n\tJangles was about to pull out his m-9 to assassinate Josh’s mother when all of the sudden an axe wielding beast ran through the crowd decapitating feminist after feminist. In the midst of the chaos Josh’s mother sprouted wings the wingspan of Air Force One grabbed Josh by the gonads and flew off to her layer.Jangles fired off eight shots missing every single one and in the crosshairs shooting three seagulls having a threesome in the sky. After the beast had massacred all the feminists he began to charge towards Jangles. Jangles whipped out his ginormous cock and impaled the beast’s in his head. After Jangles ejected his penis projectile out of the beast’s bleeding and shattered interior skull to discover there was a tracking device deep within the beast’s cranium. Jangles was then able to trace the signal back to the point of origin.\nJangles teleported as close as could to the location without getting spotted, which just happened to be outside the dog house, Josh’s mother kept Josh in. Jangles peered inside to see an extremely spacious headquarters that Josh had converted into underground fight club. The fight currently going on was between a rather plump individual dressed like a mid west black man living on poverty and a significantly athletic man in a business suit with his hair slicked back and his dick hanging out. All of the sudden a Jewish rabbi on meth drooling blood from the mouth and wielding a katana in one hand and a vice grip in the other. The rabbi then charged the businessman, raised his katana in the air and yelled “VESECTIMENE!” The penis of about six inches long dropped to dirt floor with large clunk. The rabbi then poked the penis with his elongated fingernail piercing the meat and pushing the dick onto the fingernail like a kabob then rapey rabbi ran off. Jangles wanted that kabob but this was no time for snacks, he had to save the world. Jangles saw Josh sneak out the back door running on all fours. Jangles ran after him for when he was a little Mexican boy he had to run across the border without getting shot, so you better believe it when I tell you he was faster than a nigger. Jangles eventually caught up to Josh to see Josh enter what appeared to be an old Soviet factory from the cold war. Inside the factory, Jangles saw a huge missile shaped like a big black cock about to launch. Underneath it holding the detonator was Josh’s mother and Justov in the corner beating Josh with his own dog leash that was originally around his neck. Jangles quickly teleported into josh’s mother uterus, expanding it so far that her lower half eventually exploded. Josh then released his full potential when shooting laser out of the ends of long ass hair straight into Justov’s nipples. Justov got up letting out a high pitch squeal which summoned the ghosts of his communist ancestors: Karl Marx, Stalin, Vladimir Lenin, and Kristaps Porzingis. Jangles was busy defusing the missile with his semen. So Josh had to call his favorite ghostbusters Connor Geiser, Hesse Nielsen, and Brandon Lopez. Connor pulled out his quantum defibrillator, charged it up after he plunged at Karl going in side of him and not in a sexual way, then exploding the Marx man into little pieces of communist manifesto. While Brandon pulled his dick out to see how it would feel inside of a ghost and it turn out to feel really causing him to have massive orgasim realseing jizz onto Stalin and Lenin exploding into a bunch hammers and sickles. Hesse when with a different approach by throwing a jar of jizz in the air and using his Tesla cannon to explode it all over Porzongingas as he evaporated into pieces of trash.As soon as the confrontation with the communist ghosts was over, Justov was nowhere to be seen. Jangles had diffused the cock shaped missile.”Just another job well done” as Jangles tightened his bow tie teleporting him to his next adventure.\nBy: Domthagenius and Catharticbasegod",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p><a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/69g7zt/there_is_a_protest_going_on_near_my_work_submit/\">original thread</a></p>\n\n<p>I live in MN and there are "wiretapping" laws where I can't record people without their consent, and after asking about 20 people they all said no. So here is my story.</p>\n\n<p><a href=\"http://www.startribune.com/in-twin-cities-congressional-office-demonstrations-follow-health-care-vote/421462553/\">This</a> is the protest I was just at and I got to talk with some of the people. A quick TL;DR of the article, there was a protest of about 100 people near a mall that is between my work and my house. This isn't my first time dealing with protesters on my way to wherever I need to be going. I use to live right across the street from the Dentist who shot that Lion, I often would buy my cigs at the gas station across from the dentistry. </p>\n\n<p>So I heard about the protest from a co-worker and I busted my ass at work to get out early to go and see what was up. I posted a thread for you guys to ask some question with the hopes of me doing what Dustin did but better, only to find out that unless you have an actual camera with you, it's actually rather hard to get people to sign-off on being recorded from your fucking cell phone.</p>\n\n<p>When I arrived the news was on its way-out and I go around looking for people my age to talk to, shoot the breeze a bit before I spring on them the questions. I found a lovely girl name "Ashley" (not giving out real name) who was one of the women in <a href=\"http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/08_1003762351_01PROTEST050617_44818681.JPG\">this</a> photo, near the end on the left I asked her the following:</p>\n\n<p><strong>Would you punch a baby if it meant everyone in the US got free healthcare?</strong> </p>\n\n<p>She was apprehensive on answering until I told her I worked for Buzzfeed Yellow and that it's meant to be a comedy question to make it seem like protests are more fun and so other people would be willing to take part in them. She believed me.</p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>I guess I would punch a baby, but like, is it like, a real baby? Or is it like, a like, toddler baby?</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>She didn't sound like a valley-girl, but she did cling to the word "Like" as a spacer-word as she was thinking through her answers, this is a trend that continued.</p>\n\n<p><strong>Instead of funding free abortions with tax payer dollars, what if Trump gave you two for the price of one?</strong></p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>That like, does sound fair. It still gives free abortions but there is still like, tax money you're like, giving them to make it happen. Would they give like, a coupon or something for if you need another?</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Asking the harder-hitting questions than I was.</p>\n\n<p><strong>This is true, the Democrats wanted to set identifying as a Woman to be covered under pre-existing conditions so that they could receive more affordable treatment for things like OBGYN visit, and births. The GOP later struck this from their bill, how do you feel about them doing this?</strong></p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>I think Republicans are just the part for, like, white-men. I don't mean you, because you're just here to help raise awareness. But like, Republicans like, are always shutting women out of stuff.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>I have no idea where she was going with this.</p>\n\n<p>After more time there, and asking people if they'd like to do interviews for Buzzfeed, some of the older members of the protest were asking me, very nicely however, to leave because they didn't feel like having the "the press" cover them the way I was trying to cover them. "Ashley" from earlier told them that I was alright.</p>\n\n<p>I talked with one of the older members named... fuck let's call him "Jebadiah" because he spoke in really long, sing-songy ways like I'd imagine an Amish man doing. </p>\n\n<p><strong>The new bill the GOP was pushing through was struck-down because not only did they not read the bill, but upon actually reading it found there was a clause in there about providing Pandas with the same health-care coverages as normal americans. Do you feel Pandas should get the same coverage?</strong></p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>I think they should because it's our fault for buying products from China, that ruin their habitats. Pandas aren't people, but we've ruined their lives and we should help them out any way we could.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>#pandaAHCA2017</p>\n\n<p><strong>A rich benefactor was willing to pay out of pocket for majority of Americans to have free health-care coverage. He did have a stipulation about the Americans he covers giving up their dogs since he sees them as a liability. Do you think American's should give away their pets to have access to free healthcare?</strong></p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>No, Dogs are needed to help our veterans and our blind. I don't think they should give up their animals for treatments by some rich asshole.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>After a few more people who would just give me dog-shit answers, I lit a cig and one of the older members told me to go stand in the smoking section of the protest. It was literally two guys smoking. I asked if I could get a picture with them and they said no. </p>\n\n<p>People started to leave around 3:30pm CST and I called for an uber to go home. The protesters are meeting against next week. I'll try and give them another visit and to bring a real camera so I can get some actual video.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "[original thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/69g7zt/there_is_a_protest_going_on_near_my_work_submit/)\n\n\nI live in MN and there are \"wiretapping\" laws where I can't record people without their consent, and after asking about 20 people they all said no. So here is my story.\n\n[This](http://www.startribune.com/in-twin-cities-congressional-office-demonstrations-follow-health-care-vote/421462553/) is the protest I was just at and I got to talk with some of the people. A quick TL;DR of the article, there was a protest of about 100 people near a mall that is between my work and my house. This isn't my first time dealing with protesters on my way to wherever I need to be going. I use to live right across the street from the Dentist who shot that Lion, I often would buy my cigs at the gas station across from the dentistry. \n\n\nSo I heard about the protest from a co-worker and I busted my ass at work to get out early to go and see what was up. I posted a thread for you guys to ask some question with the hopes of me doing what Dustin did but better, only to find out that unless you have an actual camera with you, it's actually rather hard to get people to sign-off on being recorded from your fucking cell phone.\n\n\nWhen I arrived the news was on its way-out and I go around looking for people my age to talk to, shoot the breeze a bit before I spring on them the questions. I found a lovely girl name \"Ashley\" (not giving out real name) who was one of the women in [this](http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/08_1003762351_01PROTEST050617_44818681.JPG) photo, near the end on the left I asked her the following:\n\n**Would you punch a baby if it meant everyone in the US got free healthcare?** \n\nShe was apprehensive on answering until I told her I worked for Buzzfeed Yellow and that it's meant to be a comedy question to make it seem like protests are more fun and so other people would be willing to take part in them. She believed me.\n\n> I guess I would punch a baby, but like, is it like, a real baby? Or is it like, a like, toddler baby?\n\n\nShe didn't sound like a valley-girl, but she did cling to the word \"Like\" as a spacer-word as she was thinking through her answers, this is a trend that continued.\n\n\n**Instead of funding free abortions with tax payer dollars, what if Trump gave you two for the price of one?**\n\n> That like, does sound fair. It still gives free abortions but there is still like, tax money you're like, giving them to make it happen. Would they give like, a coupon or something for if you need another?\n\n\nAsking the harder-hitting questions than I was.\n\n\n\n**This is true, the Democrats wanted to set identifying as a Woman to be covered under pre-existing conditions so that they could receive more affordable treatment for things like OBGYN visit, and births. The GOP later struck this from their bill, how do you feel about them doing this?**\n\n> I think Republicans are just the part for, like, white-men. I don't mean you, because you're just here to help raise awareness. But like, Republicans like, are always shutting women out of stuff.\n\nI have no idea where she was going with this.\n\n\n\nAfter more time there, and asking people if they'd like to do interviews for Buzzfeed, some of the older members of the protest were asking me, very nicely however, to leave because they didn't feel like having the \"the press\" cover them the way I was trying to cover them. \"Ashley\" from earlier told them that I was alright.\n\n\nI talked with one of the older members named... fuck let's call him \"Jebadiah\" because he spoke in really long, sing-songy ways like I'd imagine an Amish man doing. \n\n\n**The new bill the GOP was pushing through was struck-down because not only did they not read the bill, but upon actually reading it found there was a clause in there about providing Pandas with the same health-care coverages as normal americans. Do you feel Pandas should get the same coverage?**\n\n\n> I think they should because it's our fault for buying products from China, that ruin their habitats. Pandas aren't people, but we've ruined their lives and we should help them out any way we could.\n\n\n #pandaAHCA2017\n\n\n**A rich benefactor was willing to pay out of pocket for majority of Americans to have free health-care coverage. He did have a stipulation about the Americans he covers giving up their dogs since he sees them as a liability. Do you think American's should give away their pets to have access to free healthcare?**\n\n\n> No, Dogs are needed to help our veterans and our blind. I don't think they should give up their animals for treatments by some rich asshole.\n\n\n\nAfter a few more people who would just give me dog-shit answers, I lit a cig and one of the older members told me to go stand in the smoking section of the protest. It was literally two guys smoking. 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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hi <a href=\"/r/DIY\">/r/DIY</a> -</p>\n\n<p>Long-time lurker of the sub, very excited to build a dog house for my dog this month with my son, and looking forward to posting the results on this sub. Two questions that I'm looking for some help with:</p>\n\n<p>The plan is for simple 2 x 4 construction, with nothing fancy except possibly a solar-powered [attic] fan. My two questions are as follow:</p>\n\n<p>(1) Does anyone have experience they can share regarding solar powered attic fans? I've found some online ranging from $60 to $400. My hope is that the small, 8-watt (or is it 8-volt?) fans that people complain are too small for their attic will be perfectly fine for keeping ~200 cu/ft from being an outdoor dog oven.</p>\n\n<p>(2) I've done outdoor projects before using pressure treated ("green") wood, but I know it's heavily treated with chemicals. Is this safe to use or would this just be the dog equivalent of running the car in the garage? If so, what do you guys recommend for the build? I know that I can use aluminum studs, but what about the "plywood" parts? Is there something I should use that will avoid the at-the-ground "crumbling" that happens to a lot of stuff built outdoors?</p>\n\n<p>Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. </p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hi /r/DIY -\n\nLong-time lurker of the sub, very excited to build a dog house for my dog this month with my son, and looking forward to posting the results on this sub. Two questions that I'm looking for some help with:\n\nThe plan is for simple 2 x 4 construction, with nothing fancy except possibly a solar-powered [attic] fan. My two questions are as follow:\n\n(1) Does anyone have experience they can share regarding solar powered attic fans? I've found some online ranging from $60 to $400. My hope is that the small, 8-watt (or is it 8-volt?) fans that people complain are too small for their attic will be perfectly fine for keeping ~200 cu/ft from being an outdoor dog oven.\n\n(2) I've done outdoor projects before using pressure treated (\"green\") wood, but I know it's heavily treated with chemicals. Is this safe to use or would this just be the dog equivalent of running the car in the garage? If so, what do you guys recommend for the build? I know that I can use aluminum studs, but what about the \"plywood\" parts? Is there something I should use that will avoid the at-the-ground \"crumbling\" that happens to a lot of stuff built outdoors?\n\nAny advice or suggestions would be appreciated. ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>SD6 and SD9 are with us half time. Good relationship with BM.</p>\n\n<p>SD is a picky eater. And maybe that is all this is. But she is SO PICKY. To the point where she's basically not eating. I understand that lots of kids go through picky stages, and some are ridiculously picky and then grow out of it. She has been like this at least since she was 6 and I think its getting worse. </p>\n\n<p>For example, this morning I hardboiled her an egg because last time I scrambled she refused to eat it and said she preferred hard boiled. today she wrapped the hb egg in a napkin and tried to throw it away and lied about it. I gave her a timeout. I asked her what kind of egg she would eat and she said scrambled. Out of timeout she ate one bite of egg and held it in her mouth and said "It won't go down" and "I'm trying to swallow, but it just won't work" She said she has to remove any pieces of food from around her teeth before she can take another bite and got distressed that she was running out of time. She took one more bite and then "threw it up" (spit it into the toilet). </p>\n\n<p>She ate one bite of hash browns and half a bagel. I only tried to make her a full breakfast because she admitted the other day that she does not eat any of her school lunch at all, only drinks the milk from the cafeteria (chocolate or strawberry, so FULL of sugar). She is more likely to eat at dinner time, but refuses to eat ANYTHING but her basic 3 foods (bread, like a bagel, hot dogs, and mac&cheese.) </p>\n\n<p>She is eating like a toddler in my opinion. She is happy to "starve" rather than eat anything she does't want to. I've had her throw away toast with jam because it wasn't made with the "right" kind of bread. She got angry and rude, with her grandparents for serving her a pasta-roni with white sauce b/c they heard she would eat mac& cheese and thought it was the same thing. I've had her literally cry until hyperventilation over being told she can't have dessert until she eats a certain amount of her dinner. She screams about not being "able" to eat things. Like she wants us to believe that its not her choice, she's not choosing to be picky, she just "can't" eat them, or her body won't let her or something. It doesn't make sense of course, but she's 9.</p>\n\n<p>We never force her to eat. We may withhold dessert or tv time if she doesn't eat. We never ask her to "clean her plate". Part of me wants to serve her whatever the rest of us are eating and she either eats it or she doesn't. The thing is, I think she will just not eat. If I thought this was temporary and she could go a little while without getting basic nutrients I wouldn't worry so much, but this is going on for YEARS and getting worse.</p>\n\n<p>BM makes separate meals for her to get her to eat, just makes whatever she asks for. DH says we should pick our battles and doesn't seem to see it as big of a deal as I do. </p>\n\n<p>So am I overreacting? Should I be patient and wait for her to grow out of it? Is she in danger of developing an eating disorder? There seems to be a lot of anxiety around food for her. I don't want to contribute to this anxiety, but I don't want to be her personal chef who gets disrespected for making the "wrong" thing.</p>\n\n<p>What could I be doing better here?</p>\n\n<p>edit: formatting</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "SD6 and SD9 are with us half time. Good relationship with BM.\n\n\nSD is a picky eater. And maybe that is all this is. But she is SO PICKY. To the point where she's basically not eating. I understand that lots of kids go through picky stages, and some are ridiculously picky and then grow out of it. She has been like this at least since she was 6 and I think its getting worse. \n\n\nFor example, this morning I hardboiled her an egg because last time I scrambled she refused to eat it and said she preferred hard boiled. today she wrapped the hb egg in a napkin and tried to throw it away and lied about it. I gave her a timeout. I asked her what kind of egg she would eat and she said scrambled. Out of timeout she ate one bite of egg and held it in her mouth and said \"It won't go down\" and \"I'm trying to swallow, but it just won't work\" She said she has to remove any pieces of food from around her teeth before she can take another bite and got distressed that she was running out of time. She took one more bite and then \"threw it up\" (spit it into the toilet). \n\n\nShe ate one bite of hash browns and half a bagel. I only tried to make her a full breakfast because she admitted the other day that she does not eat any of her school lunch at all, only drinks the milk from the cafeteria (chocolate or strawberry, so FULL of sugar). She is more likely to eat at dinner time, but refuses to eat ANYTHING but her basic 3 foods (bread, like a bagel, hot dogs, and mac&cheese.) \n\n\nShe is eating like a toddler in my opinion. She is happy to \"starve\" rather than eat anything she does't want to. I've had her throw away toast with jam because it wasn't made with the \"right\" kind of bread. She got angry and rude, with her grandparents for serving her a pasta-roni with white sauce b/c they heard she would eat mac& cheese and thought it was the same thing. I've had her literally cry until hyperventilation over being told she can't have dessert until she eats a certain amount of her dinner. She screams about not being \"able\" to eat things. Like she wants us to believe that its not her choice, she's not choosing to be picky, she just \"can't\" eat them, or her body won't let her or something. It doesn't make sense of course, but she's 9.\n\n\nWe never force her to eat. We may withhold dessert or tv time if she doesn't eat. We never ask her to \"clean her plate\". Part of me wants to serve her whatever the rest of us are eating and she either eats it or she doesn't. The thing is, I think she will just not eat. If I thought this was temporary and she could go a little while without getting basic nutrients I wouldn't worry so much, but this is going on for YEARS and getting worse.\n\n\nBM makes separate meals for her to get her to eat, just makes whatever she asks for. DH says we should pick our battles and doesn't seem to see it as big of a deal as I do. \n\n\nSo am I overreacting? Should I be patient and wait for her to grow out of it? Is she in danger of developing an eating disorder? There seems to be a lot of anxiety around food for her. I don't want to contribute to this anxiety, but I don't want to be her personal chef who gets disrespected for making the \"wrong\" thing.\n\n\nWhat could I be doing better here?\n\nedit: formatting",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I know Easter was a while ago, but I just had to get this off my chest. </p>\n\n<p>So for Easter dinner we went to my aunt's house. There were not only my aunt's two dogs (small things that are pretty well-behaved) but also my cousin's huge-ass dog that kept running around, brushing up against guests, and attracting flies whenever it was outside. I saw the big dog brush its tail against an exposed area of the salmon dip I loved about 8 minutes after I got there and was sad that now it was contaminated with dog germs.</p>\n\n<p>When dinner was served I decided to eat at a table over by the pool because the dogs were swarming everybody outside. Big fucking mistake. I got up to get a napkin and when I got back a fly I recognized from it crawling on a dog shit a few minutes earlier was crawling all over my food. I had school the next day and was not about to risk getting nasty-ass food poisoning because if my stupid decisions, so I had to basically eat some leftover ham and rolls instead of the full dinner. </p>\n\n<p>I hid out in an interior bedroom to get away from the crowds and the dogs, but one of my aunt's dogs walked into the room and tried to jump on my lap and the couch. </p>\n\n<p>Next year I will be holing up in that interior bedroom the entire time with the door locked, no stupid ass dog is ever going to get to me or my food.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I know Easter was a while ago, but I just had to get this off my chest. \n\nSo for Easter dinner we went to my aunt's house. There were not only my aunt's two dogs (small things that are pretty well-behaved) but also my cousin's huge-ass dog that kept running around, brushing up against guests, and attracting flies whenever it was outside. I saw the big dog brush its tail against an exposed area of the salmon dip I loved about 8 minutes after I got there and was sad that now it was contaminated with dog germs.\n\nWhen dinner was served I decided to eat at a table over by the pool because the dogs were swarming everybody outside. Big fucking mistake. I got up to get a napkin and when I got back a fly I recognized from it crawling on a dog shit a few minutes earlier was crawling all over my food. I had school the next day and was not about to risk getting nasty-ass food poisoning because if my stupid decisions, so I had to basically eat some leftover ham and rolls instead of the full dinner. \n\nI hid out in an interior bedroom to get away from the crowds and the dogs, but one of my aunt's dogs walked into the room and tried to jump on my lap and the couch. \n\nNext year I will be holing up in that interior bedroom the entire time with the door locked, no stupid ass dog is ever going to get to me or my food.",
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"selftext": "Please help! I have a three year old dog, who is perfectly capable of holding his bladder when I am home. \n\nUnfortunately, I've found that while I am at work every day, he pees on the carpet in front of our glass door. I suspect that he urinates when he sees other dogs outside the door, but there is no way to secure the hanging blinds.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice on training him? The only solutions I can think of are to separate him into the bedroom and away from the glass door, or to put something in front of the door so he can't sit and look out it all day long.\n\n\nWe have tried crating him, but the last few times we did, he began biting the metal frame of the crate to the point of completely rubbing his nose raw, leaving lots of blood in the crate and a permanent scar on his nose and muzzle. ",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I was taking my dog out for a walk last night, and right when I left the house I felt one of those scary twinges in my hip. But it was just a twinge, and the next step I took didn't hurt, so I assumed I was just going to walk it off. </p>\n\n<p>But the further we got from my apartment, the clearer it became that I was having a problem. I got a block away from my front door, and the pain was too bad to put weight on my hip. I didn't bring my cane (which I realize was stupid, but I had felt fine up until that point, and I'm proud enough to not like to use it) and was having an excruciating time even taking the hobbley little baby steps that I usually have to take during a flare.</p>\n\n<p>I had to call my husband at work to come get me, and wait on the curb for half an hour until he got there. It might be the most humiliating moment this disease has given me, but there's a lot to choose from.</p>\n\n<p>Today it's worse. I've <em>never</em> had a flare this bad, I can't even walk with my cane. My husband is trying to convince me to go to the doctor, but I can't imagine what they'd tell me besides "Yeah, you have RA, of course your hip hurts."</p>\n\n<p>I think I'm just embarrassed that I got stuck, this might be the first time I've felt completely powerless to my disability. Even with bad flares I've always been able to walk with my cane at the very least. I feel stupid and humiliated and crippled and I thought I was over feeling like this about RA. Maybe I'd feel better if there was more I can do about it, but ice isn't helping enough to justify dragging myself to and fro the freezer, I'm already on pain meds that aren't helping enough for me to notice, I can't wrap my hip (I've tried), and I'm afraid of getting stuck in the bathtub. </p>\n\n<p>I feel impotent. I've never used that word to describe myself, but it keeps swimming to the front of my mind. I wanted to do laundry today. I'm supposed to get the apartment ready for my father in law to get here on Sunday. I was going to have dinner ready for my husband when he got home and I don't think I get to do any of that now. </p>\n\n<p>I just wanted to complain to someone who wouldn't assume I was being melodramatic. Please tell me I'm not the only one here who has gotten "stuck" before.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I was taking my dog out for a walk last night, and right when I left the house I felt one of those scary twinges in my hip. But it was just a twinge, and the next step I took didn't hurt, so I assumed I was just going to walk it off. \n\nBut the further we got from my apartment, the clearer it became that I was having a problem. I got a block away from my front door, and the pain was too bad to put weight on my hip. I didn't bring my cane (which I realize was stupid, but I had felt fine up until that point, and I'm proud enough to not like to use it) and was having an excruciating time even taking the hobbley little baby steps that I usually have to take during a flare.\n\nI had to call my husband at work to come get me, and wait on the curb for half an hour until he got there. It might be the most humiliating moment this disease has given me, but there's a lot to choose from.\n\nToday it's worse. I've *never* had a flare this bad, I can't even walk with my cane. My husband is trying to convince me to go to the doctor, but I can't imagine what they'd tell me besides \"Yeah, you have RA, of course your hip hurts.\"\n\nI think I'm just embarrassed that I got stuck, this might be the first time I've felt completely powerless to my disability. Even with bad flares I've always been able to walk with my cane at the very least. I feel stupid and humiliated and crippled and I thought I was over feeling like this about RA. Maybe I'd feel better if there was more I can do about it, but ice isn't helping enough to justify dragging myself to and fro the freezer, I'm already on pain meds that aren't helping enough for me to notice, I can't wrap my hip (I've tried), and I'm afraid of getting stuck in the bathtub. \n\nI feel impotent. I've never used that word to describe myself, but it keeps swimming to the front of my mind. I wanted to do laundry today. I'm supposed to get the apartment ready for my father in law to get here on Sunday. I was going to have dinner ready for my husband when he got home and I don't think I get to do any of that now. \n\nI just wanted to complain to someone who wouldn't assume I was being melodramatic. Please tell me I'm not the only one here who has gotten \"stuck\" before.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>He's about 40lbs. Not sure his age or breed(s)</p>\n\n<p><a href=\"http://i.imgur.com/v4k21D6.jpg\">http://i.imgur.com/v4k21D6.jpg</a></p>\n\n<p><a href=\"http://i.imgur.com/TZVSfFL.jpg\">http://i.imgur.com/TZVSfFL.jpg</a></p>\n\n<p><a href=\"http://i.imgur.com/zHdbauj.jpg\">http://i.imgur.com/zHdbauj.jpg</a></p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "He's about 40lbs. Not sure his age or breed(s)\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/v4k21D6.jpg\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/TZVSfFL.jpg\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/zHdbauj.jpg",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I've been thinking about posting this for a while but in light of other recent posts I think I may as well put this here. Please consider this before sharing your idea. </p>\n\n<p>Disclaimer: your idea isn't objectively shit, the title is a joke; but there is a such thing as the downvote button, and redditors on this sub will use it liberally (be warned).</p>\n\n<p>Disclaimer 2: I'm not saying my Jak 4 ideas aren't shit either. We all have them.</p>\n\n<p>Here are some very common reasons why Jak 4 ideas are busts:</p>\n\n<ol>\n<li><p>They're just fan fiction. They're fan service-filled mental jerk-off fests with canonical contradictions and questionable character development, all for the purpose of nostalgia.</p></li>\n<li><p>They'll never happen. Naughty Dog doesn't want to make another game about Gol and Maia. They made that clear with Jak II.</p></li>\n<li><p>They don't stay true to the J&D formula. Anyone can make a game and then slap the J&D name on it—that won't make it a J&D game. <a href=\"http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012-02-06-naughty-dog-a-new-jak-and-daxter-would-do-everyone-a-disservice\">Naughty Dog knows this</a>, and High Impact Games <a href=\"http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/10/04/rising-to-greatness-the-history-of-naughty-dog?page=13\">learned this the hard way</a>.</p></li>\n<li><p>They attempt to demystify the series. Part of the fun is not knowing. Yes, <em>we all want to know the answers about Mar, Metal Heads, Dark Makers, etc</em>., but only because of the thrill of the chase. Blowing your load all at one time is fun while you're doing it, but it's sure as hell not afterwards.</p></li>\n<li><p>They have nothing to do with the actual set ups from previous games for future games because you're not an expert on J&D's incredibly complex lore. Just join a Discord discussion to find out how much we actually don't know, but knowledge of which would still be critical to continuing on with the series.</p></li>\n<li><p>Lastly, at worst, they're just silly. Space Blazer did an apt job parodying this <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/jakanddaxter/comments/65uxrc/my_idear_for_jak_4_legend_of_jeb/\">here</a>.</p></li>\n</ol>\n\n<p>Anyway, this doesn't mean you shouldn't keep making and sharing ideas. It's fun, we get it. But that doesn't mean other people are going to think they're as great as you think they are, so don't get your hopes up of being the second coming of J&D's rule. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I've been thinking about posting this for a while but in light of other recent posts I think I may as well put this here. Please consider this before sharing your idea. \n\nDisclaimer: your idea isn't objectively shit, the title is a joke; but there is a such thing as the downvote button, and redditors on this sub will use it liberally (be warned).\n\nDisclaimer 2: I'm not saying my Jak 4 ideas aren't shit either. We all have them.\n\nHere are some very common reasons why Jak 4 ideas are busts:\n\n1. They're just fan fiction. They're fan service-filled mental jerk-off fests with canonical contradictions and questionable character development, all for the purpose of nostalgia.\n\n2. They'll never happen. Naughty Dog doesn't want to make another game about Gol and Maia. They made that clear with Jak II.\n\n3. They don't stay true to the J&D formula. Anyone can make a game and then slap the J&D name on it—that won't make it a J&D game. [Naughty Dog knows this](http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012-02-06-naughty-dog-a-new-jak-and-daxter-would-do-everyone-a-disservice), and High Impact Games [learned this the hard way](http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/10/04/rising-to-greatness-the-history-of-naughty-dog?page=13).\n\n4. They attempt to demystify the series. Part of the fun is not knowing. Yes, *we all want to know the answers about Mar, Metal Heads, Dark Makers, etc*., but only because of the thrill of the chase. Blowing your load all at one time is fun while you're doing it, but it's sure as hell not afterwards.\n\n5. They have nothing to do with the actual set ups from previous games for future games because you're not an expert on J&D's incredibly complex lore. Just join a Discord discussion to find out how much we actually don't know, but knowledge of which would still be critical to continuing on with the series.\n\n6. Lastly, at worst, they're just silly. Space Blazer did an apt job parodying this [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/jakanddaxter/comments/65uxrc/my_idear_for_jak_4_legend_of_jeb/).\n\nAnyway, this doesn't mean you shouldn't keep making and sharing ideas. It's fun, we get it. But that doesn't mean other people are going to think they're as great as you think they are, so don't get your hopes up of being the second coming of J&D's rule. ¯\\\\\\_(ツ)\\_/¯",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>*<em>POSTING THIS IS IN <a href=\"/r/drawing\">/r/drawing</a>, <a href=\"/r/animation\">/r/animation</a>, <a href=\"/r/AnimatedShorts\">/r/AnimatedShorts</a> \n*</em>\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called "Breathe" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called <a href=\"http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330\">Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called "Ass"</a>. It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+\">\nSlinz - Breathe (ft. NiCo)</a></p>\n\n<p>*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.</p>\n\n<p>For second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*</p>\n\n<p>I have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!</p>\n\n<p>Do you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like <a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE\">Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away</a> , where you can see all the lines moving each second.</p>\n\n<p>I don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!</p>\n\n<p>So if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!</p>\n\n<p>Sincerely,\nJosias</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "**POSTING THIS IS IN /r/drawing, /r/animation, /r/AnimatedShorts \n**\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called \"Breathe\" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called [Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called \"Ass\"](http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330). It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n[\nSlinz - Breathe \\(ft. NiCo\\)](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+)\n\n*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober\". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.\n\nFor second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*\n\nI have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!\n\nDo you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like [Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE) , where you can see all the lines moving each second.\n\nI don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!\n\nSo if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!\n\nSincerely,\nJosias",
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I'm also interested in teaching it to swim, hug, dance on hind legs, fetch, maybe skateboard.</li>\n</ul>\n\n<p><strong>Care Commitments</strong></p>\n\n<p>6) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day?</p>\n\n<ul>\n<li>Around 1-2 hours of active interaction e.g. training and exercise, plus 2-4 hours of hanging out at home, petting, snuggling while reading or watching tv, etc.</li>\n</ul>\n\n<p>7) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park?</p>\n\n<ul>\n<li>1-1.5 hours on average - walks and jogging mostly. How many ways are there to exercise a dog? I do weights at the gym every other day but I don't know if a dog can participate. 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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>*<em>POSTING THIS IS IN <a href=\"/r/drawing\">/r/drawing</a>, <a href=\"/r/animation\">/r/animation</a>, <a href=\"/r/AnimatedShorts\">/r/AnimatedShorts</a> \n*</em>\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called "Breathe" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called <a href=\"http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330\">Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called "Ass"</a>. It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+\">\nSlinz - Breathe (ft. NiCo)</a></p>\n\n<p>*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.</p>\n\n<p>For second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*</p>\n\n<p>I have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!</p>\n\n<p>Do you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like <a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE\">Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away</a> , where you can see all the lines moving each second.</p>\n\n<p>I don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!</p>\n\n<p>So if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!</p>\n\n<p>Sincerely,\nJosias</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "**POSTING THIS IS IN /r/drawing, /r/animation, /r/AnimatedShorts \n**\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called \"Breathe\" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called [Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called \"Ass\"](http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330). It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n[\nSlinz - Breathe \\(ft. NiCo\\)](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+)\n\n*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober\". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.\n\nFor second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*\n\nI have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!\n\nDo you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like [Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE) , where you can see all the lines moving each second.\n\nI don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!\n\nSo if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!\n\nSincerely,\nJosias",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>When I was a teen I used to say that sleep deprivation was a natural high. I could stay up for days, I think, drifting through the world in a sort of daze, an altered state. Intoxicated. I suffered from insomnia back then, but most of the time it was by choice, hanging out with my friends, doing whatever it was that kids did back in the 90s. I remember a lot of time spent drinking coffee in a Denny's, hanging out in darkened parking lots, exploring old buildings.</p>\n\n<p>The past week or so it hasn't been quite so consensual. I've never really liked sleep, but this insomnia... it's the worst I've ever had. Not because I'm busy. Not because I'm a teenager and my melatonin levels are all weird. No. This is the kind of insomnia that comes with deep depression, with knowing that the sooner you go to bed the sooner you have to get up and get started on the next pointless wretched day.</p>\n\n<p>I won't bore you with the details of my break-up. Doesn't matter, other than it's the reason I can't sleep. I vacillate between trying to fix things, to make them right, to undo the damage I've done, and resolving to move on. The former runs on my last burning ember of hope, the latter is liberating. I don't need to try and <em>fix</em> things anymore. It's over. I can stop torturing myself.</p>\n\n<p>There I go again. Sorry. Not the story I'm telling.</p>\n\n<p>More germane is the fact that I've been living in a hotel the past week. They have this sense of 'temporariness' about them. I mean, it's nice... can't deny that. Maybe the nicest room I've ever stayed in. Bigger than some of the apartments I've had. Just not good for long-term habitability. It already feels over-lived-in.</p>\n\n<p>That might be because I've asked the staff not to have the maids in cleaning while I'm at work. I just can't deal with the idea of someone going through all my stuff right now.</p>\n\n<p>So I'm staying here, and every day has this pattern to it. I go to work, come 'home', watch movies or infomercials until I maybe pass out for an hour and then get up to start it all over again.</p>\n\n<p>One night, Wednesday I think, I was lying in bed wrestling with sleep deprivation and depression. Every moment of just lying there feels both eternal and timeless. I started to feel... I don't know. Disconnected. Like I'd become a passenger along for the ride while my body trudged through the motions of day to day living.</p>\n\n<p>And I'm lying there in this hotel room in the dark, feeling sorry for myself, and I notice that something's different. Takes me a few moments because my brain's not operating at full capacity, but I realize that it's the light coming in from outside. Makes everything look just this ghastly black and green, making everything even more surreal. I look at everything I can make out, and it just seems... fake. That's the best way I can put it.</p>\n\n<p>I look at my hand in the dark, and it seems fake too. I mean, I know it's my hand, but it doesn't feel like my hand. Like it's just <em>a</em> hand, unconnected to me. </p>\n\n<p>So this green light coming in from outside. I muster up the motivation to sort of roll over bed, and I bang my knee against the frame, and it hurts, but it feels like someone else's pain. I'm sorry I can't describe it any better than that.</p>\n\n<p>So this light. You know, I've read a lot of fantasy and horror in my life, and there's this term... eldritch. I never knew what it meant until I saw that light. And it's not like the room has any neon signs or whatever right outside, so I go to look and see what's causing it.</p>\n\n<p>There, across the city, beyond the residential roofs and trees, I can see an enormous tower. It rises impossibly from the city center, dwarfing the sky-scrapers around it, shedding its iridescent glow all the way across town and through my window. And I just stare at it because it's... it's stupid. That it exists. It's impossible. There's no tower like it here in Chicago. It's too big, too massive to exist in the real world. The scale is all wrong. I can't even wonder if I'm dreaming, because the tower is filling my mind up so much that it's the only thing that can exist.</p>\n\n<p>Then there's that horrible buzz of the alarm clock behind me, and I don't turn and look at it, but I just sort of notice that the tower is gone and it has been for awhile. I didn't blink, didn't drift off, just... didn't notice. And the sky is getting lighter... I had to have been staring at that fucker for hours.</p>\n\n<p>Losing a bit of time here and there isn't unusual when you're this deprived, but nothing like that. What was it? That tower? What did it mean? Mirage? Hallucination? Waking dream? I can't think about anything else, but my body has been on autopilot for so long I get to the bus on time.</p>\n\n<p>I don't remember much about that next day at work, but everything seemed even more phony and superficial under the florescent lights. All the people seemed fake, too. By the end of the day I pretty much assumed that I'd dreamed the whole tower thing. I go home.</p>\n\n<p>For once, I'm not thinking about Shannon, I'm thinking about that dream. That tower. Trying to remember... anything. The details. It was hard to tell by the scale, but had to be downtown. The nice thing about this hotel room is the view I have over the top of the nearby buildings, down to the loop. There's no place for any structure of that size there, though... it'd displace entire blocks, entire sections of track. It was that big.</p>\n\n<p>I try to get my mind off of it by watching something on my laptop. Netflix has Blazing Saddles, one of my favorite movies... but I just can't... connect to it. Like, instead of feeling the emotional beats of the script, it's just a series of unrelated images flashing in front of me. Maybe this is what dogs feel like when they watch TV?</p>\n\n<p>I give up, turn it off, and in the sudden darkness of the room I can see that green light again. I go to the window, stare out, and there's the tower again.</p>\n\n<p>Only closer.</p>\n\n<p>I swear to god, it's closer. I can tell because the Sears Tower (I will be in my cold grave before I ever call it the Willis Tower) is <em>behind</em> it now, and last time that was how I could tell where it was. It's gotta be on the other side of the Chicago River, on the other side of the Ike. In the Near West Side.</p>\n\n<p>And I just stare. I want to grab my phone, get a picture, but I don't.</p>\n\n<p>I just stare. I can feel it pulling on me, almost, like it has its own gravity. I get a better view, I can remember it a little better. Looks... surprisingly contemporary, really. Like it'd fit right into the rest of Chicago's architecture, if it wasn't for the fact that it's gotta be like what, four blocks in diameter. The green glow... it's not the tower glowing, I don't think, but looks like there are spotlights or something shining up at it from below.</p>\n\n<p>Next thing I know is I'm outside, running down the street, barefoot. My feet slapping against the asphalt is the most real thing I've felt in days. I'm walking, then jogging, then running, staring up at this tower and not really caring that I'm tearing my feet up on the streets.</p>\n\n<p>I don't make it.</p>\n\n<p>Not in time. It's still pretty far away on foot, and I'm just running, so before I can get to the Near West Side the sun is up and the tower is gone. Staring at it the whole time and I can't even tell you how it left, I'm just suddenly stopping because it's gone and my feet are killing me.</p>\n\n<p>So that's it, reddit.</p>\n\n<p>That's where I'm at.</p>\n\n<p>Stayed home from work today. Resting. Bandaged my feet up... they're scraped up, but it's not so bad. Should be ready for tonight. The tower will be closer, and I'll be ready so I'm not trying to run through the streets barefoot. Maybe it is just a hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation, maybe not. But we'll definitely see.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "When I was a teen I used to say that sleep deprivation was a natural high. I could stay up for days, I think, drifting through the world in a sort of daze, an altered state. Intoxicated. I suffered from insomnia back then, but most of the time it was by choice, hanging out with my friends, doing whatever it was that kids did back in the 90s. I remember a lot of time spent drinking coffee in a Denny's, hanging out in darkened parking lots, exploring old buildings.\n\nThe past week or so it hasn't been quite so consensual. I've never really liked sleep, but this insomnia... it's the worst I've ever had. Not because I'm busy. Not because I'm a teenager and my melatonin levels are all weird. No. This is the kind of insomnia that comes with deep depression, with knowing that the sooner you go to bed the sooner you have to get up and get started on the next pointless wretched day.\n\nI won't bore you with the details of my break-up. Doesn't matter, other than it's the reason I can't sleep. I vacillate between trying to fix things, to make them right, to undo the damage I've done, and resolving to move on. The former runs on my last burning ember of hope, the latter is liberating. I don't need to try and *fix* things anymore. It's over. I can stop torturing myself.\n\nThere I go again. Sorry. Not the story I'm telling.\n\nMore germane is the fact that I've been living in a hotel the past week. They have this sense of 'temporariness' about them. I mean, it's nice... can't deny that. Maybe the nicest room I've ever stayed in. Bigger than some of the apartments I've had. Just not good for long-term habitability. It already feels over-lived-in.\n\nThat might be because I've asked the staff not to have the maids in cleaning while I'm at work. I just can't deal with the idea of someone going through all my stuff right now.\n\nSo I'm staying here, and every day has this pattern to it. I go to work, come 'home', watch movies or infomercials until I maybe pass out for an hour and then get up to start it all over again.\n\nOne night, Wednesday I think, I was lying in bed wrestling with sleep deprivation and depression. Every moment of just lying there feels both eternal and timeless. I started to feel... I don't know. Disconnected. Like I'd become a passenger along for the ride while my body trudged through the motions of day to day living.\n\nAnd I'm lying there in this hotel room in the dark, feeling sorry for myself, and I notice that something's different. Takes me a few moments because my brain's not operating at full capacity, but I realize that it's the light coming in from outside. Makes everything look just this ghastly black and green, making everything even more surreal. I look at everything I can make out, and it just seems... fake. That's the best way I can put it.\n\nI look at my hand in the dark, and it seems fake too. I mean, I know it's my hand, but it doesn't feel like my hand. Like it's just *a* hand, unconnected to me. \n\nSo this green light coming in from outside. I muster up the motivation to sort of roll over bed, and I bang my knee against the frame, and it hurts, but it feels like someone else's pain. I'm sorry I can't describe it any better than that.\n\nSo this light. You know, I've read a lot of fantasy and horror in my life, and there's this term... eldritch. I never knew what it meant until I saw that light. And it's not like the room has any neon signs or whatever right outside, so I go to look and see what's causing it.\n\nThere, across the city, beyond the residential roofs and trees, I can see an enormous tower. It rises impossibly from the city center, dwarfing the sky-scrapers around it, shedding its iridescent glow all the way across town and through my window. And I just stare at it because it's... it's stupid. That it exists. It's impossible. There's no tower like it here in Chicago. It's too big, too massive to exist in the real world. The scale is all wrong. I can't even wonder if I'm dreaming, because the tower is filling my mind up so much that it's the only thing that can exist.\n\nThen there's that horrible buzz of the alarm clock behind me, and I don't turn and look at it, but I just sort of notice that the tower is gone and it has been for awhile. I didn't blink, didn't drift off, just... didn't notice. And the sky is getting lighter... I had to have been staring at that fucker for hours.\n\nLosing a bit of time here and there isn't unusual when you're this deprived, but nothing like that. What was it? That tower? What did it mean? Mirage? Hallucination? Waking dream? I can't think about anything else, but my body has been on autopilot for so long I get to the bus on time.\n\nI don't remember much about that next day at work, but everything seemed even more phony and superficial under the florescent lights. All the people seemed fake, too. By the end of the day I pretty much assumed that I'd dreamed the whole tower thing. I go home.\n\nFor once, I'm not thinking about Shannon, I'm thinking about that dream. That tower. Trying to remember... anything. The details. It was hard to tell by the scale, but had to be downtown. The nice thing about this hotel room is the view I have over the top of the nearby buildings, down to the loop. There's no place for any structure of that size there, though... it'd displace entire blocks, entire sections of track. It was that big.\n\nI try to get my mind off of it by watching something on my laptop. Netflix has Blazing Saddles, one of my favorite movies... but I just can't... connect to it. Like, instead of feeling the emotional beats of the script, it's just a series of unrelated images flashing in front of me. Maybe this is what dogs feel like when they watch TV?\n\nI give up, turn it off, and in the sudden darkness of the room I can see that green light again. I go to the window, stare out, and there's the tower again.\n\nOnly closer.\n\nI swear to god, it's closer. I can tell because the Sears Tower (I will be in my cold grave before I ever call it the Willis Tower) is *behind* it now, and last time that was how I could tell where it was. It's gotta be on the other side of the Chicago River, on the other side of the Ike. In the Near West Side.\n\nAnd I just stare. I want to grab my phone, get a picture, but I don't.\n\nI just stare. I can feel it pulling on me, almost, like it has its own gravity. I get a better view, I can remember it a little better. Looks... surprisingly contemporary, really. Like it'd fit right into the rest of Chicago's architecture, if it wasn't for the fact that it's gotta be like what, four blocks in diameter. The green glow... it's not the tower glowing, I don't think, but looks like there are spotlights or something shining up at it from below.\n\nNext thing I know is I'm outside, running down the street, barefoot. My feet slapping against the asphalt is the most real thing I've felt in days. I'm walking, then jogging, then running, staring up at this tower and not really caring that I'm tearing my feet up on the streets.\n\nI don't make it.\n\nNot in time. It's still pretty far away on foot, and I'm just running, so before I can get to the Near West Side the sun is up and the tower is gone. Staring at it the whole time and I can't even tell you how it left, I'm just suddenly stopping because it's gone and my feet are killing me.\n\nSo that's it, reddit.\n\nThat's where I'm at.\n\nStayed home from work today. Resting. Bandaged my feet up... they're scraped up, but it's not so bad. Should be ready for tonight. The tower will be closer, and I'll be ready so I'm not trying to run through the streets barefoot. Maybe it is just a hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation, maybe not. But we'll definitely see.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>*<em>POSTING THIS IS IN <a href=\"/r/drawing\">/r/drawing</a>, <a href=\"/r/animation\">/r/animation</a>, <a href=\"/r/AnimatedShorts\">/r/AnimatedShorts</a> \n*</em>\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called "Breathe" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called <a href=\"http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330\">Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called "Ass"</a>. It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+\">\nSlinz - Breathe (ft. NiCo)</a></p>\n\n<p>*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.</p>\n\n<p>For second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*</p>\n\n<p>I have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!</p>\n\n<p>Do you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like <a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE\">Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away</a> , where you can see all the lines moving each second.</p>\n\n<p>I don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!</p>\n\n<p>So if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!</p>\n\n<p>Sincerely,\nJosias</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "**POSTING THIS IS IN /r/drawing, /r/animation, /r/AnimatedShorts \n**\nHey guys! My name is Slinz. A while back I self-released a track called \"Breathe\" and is about drugs. Originally it was planned to be released on a less known label, but the release got canceled, and I chose to release it myself instead. I, along with the singer NiCo, wrote a script for a nice music video. (Keep in mind, this is several years ago the project started) But we need got the project finished. I remember looking for inspiration and I found this DeviantArt user called [Cor-Mundum who made this stick-character called \"Ass\"](http://cor-mundum.deviantart.com/art/Ass-the-stickman-poses-380761330). It was exactly like I what I had in mind! But I have not been able to come in contact with him. Anyways, here's the story and the track:\n[\nSlinz - Breathe \\(ft. NiCo\\)](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Slinz+)\n\n*You see a stickfigure guy wakes up in his bed with circles around his eyes. He gets up, sits at the dinner table for himself. It's quite messy in there. He just sits and daps his food, not eating it. He takes a token and looks at it. It says 6 months sober\". He takes his red scarf on and goes outside. Walks in the city. He looks kind of bad. Like a little bit sad. Kind of numb in his face. He gets to this club. He walks in, and right on the first drop, he stands between all the happy people who is dancing and having a good time, while he is not. His face is a mixture between :( and :S. He sees someone drink something and some other take some drug. Someone drags him out on the dancefloor and dances with him. The someone is obviously having a good time, while our guy is still feeling bad.\n\nFor second verse our guy is sitting on some hill in town and looking at the sun which has sunglasses on and smiling. He sees a family on the hill having fun and kids are playing with their dog. Our guy cries a single tear, stands up and gets to the club. (Now build in song is happening) He stands in the entrance, and someone offers him in and is offering a pill to our guy. Our guy takes the token up from somewhere and looks at it. (Build some tense somehow). Right on the second drop, he takes the pill and things get fucked up. People turn scary and looks at him (still dancing somehow though). Some of the people might turn all black, others might turn to ash. Everything is fucked up, like a reeeeaally bad trip... He runs for his life out of the club (in the end of the drop) and suddently it clips to him lying on the middle of the street and people are gathering around him. It starts zoomed in at his face, but then zooms out and sees blood behind his head and eyes wide open (he is dead) and the token in his hand lies next to the hand.*\n\nI have just recently grown love for the track again, and would LOVE to get this music video done!\n\nDo you guys have any suggestions on any drawer / artist - or just HOW I can get this done? I'm writing to you all as I am desperately looking for a nice drawer. Generally I'm thinking the whole video should look kind of simple, maybe a little like [Kill The Noise & Feed Me - Far Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvfwd3JZTE) , where you can see all the lines moving each second.\n\nI don't really have any money, I'm sixteen and are on boarding school ATM, but I guess it's maybe needed. We can talk about that when I find one who can do this!\n\nSo if you know a guy, girl or company - LINK ME!\n\nSincerely,\nJosias",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Hello,</p>\n\n<p>I took my dog in for a routine dental cleaning today. A few hours later I get a phone call that 4 teeth need to come out because of problems under the gums. The total came out to $2,500. Ouch.. but if my dog's teeth are bad I'm sure they are hurting more than my wallet will be. I agreed to the extractions.</p>\n\n<p>Four hours later I get another call. The tooth's root in the back of the mouth had broken off. When the vet went to get the root piece they punctured a major artery which resulted in massive bleeding. When the vet finally stopped the bleeding they were afraid if they went back in they may start the bleeding again so they left the root.</p>\n\n<p>I was told I needed to be sent to a canine dental specialist's office to extract the root. My dog also needed to stay at the vet a few extra hours for monitoring his red blood cells after the blood loss. He will be sent home with pills to help with the artery.</p>\n\n<p>So here I sit waiting to be called and hopefully told he's okay. That I can come pick him up. What was meant to be a cleaning has turned into a nightmare. I understand mistakes happen, but for all that to happen, then charge me for everything, then send me to a specialist to pay that bill... is this normal practice? I mean I paid for a tooth extraction and that wasn't completed. It now needs to be completed by a specialist. Should that bill not be the vet office's responsibility to complete the transaction? </p>\n\n<p>Thanks for your time and advice.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Hello,\n\nI took my dog in for a routine dental cleaning today. A few hours later I get a phone call that 4 teeth need to come out because of problems under the gums. The total came out to $2,500. Ouch.. but if my dog's teeth are bad I'm sure they are hurting more than my wallet will be. I agreed to the extractions.\n\nFour hours later I get another call. The tooth's root in the back of the mouth had broken off. When the vet went to get the root piece they punctured a major artery which resulted in massive bleeding. When the vet finally stopped the bleeding they were afraid if they went back in they may start the bleeding again so they left the root.\n\nI was told I needed to be sent to a canine dental specialist's office to extract the root. My dog also needed to stay at the vet a few extra hours for monitoring his red blood cells after the blood loss. He will be sent home with pills to help with the artery.\n\nSo here I sit waiting to be called and hopefully told he's okay. That I can come pick him up. What was meant to be a cleaning has turned into a nightmare. I understand mistakes happen, but for all that to happen, then charge me for everything, then send me to a specialist to pay that bill... is this normal practice? I mean I paid for a tooth extraction and that wasn't completed. It now needs to be completed by a specialist. Should that bill not be the vet office's responsibility to complete the transaction? \n\nThanks for your time and advice.",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>Male, early 30's, married 3 years, no kids, house yes, no fault divorce. </p>\n\n<p>Rant:\n I just don't recognize her anymore. She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't want to do anything, it's like she is no longer a person. At first I foolishly assumed it was just stress. Then I thought it was me, I work a lot and travel often. Then as it lasted I started to recognize the signs of depression I struggled with in my 20's. We were always great communicators so I tried talking to her about how she feels, if has anything changed, is there something you want to do. I only get a smile and seemingly sincere "I'm good, everything is normal, I can't think of anything." It sounds shitty, but at this point, I am out of energy. We've changed diets, workouts, jobs, and even houses. Gone on retreats, to counseling (together and privately), and on vacation. She seems content, but I feel like I'm living with the animated body of the women I fell in love with. It walks and talks like her... but the one I know isn't there. So now... I'm here. I don't know how she will respond.</p>\n\n<p>Actions Taken:\nSo far all I've done is "Taken my classic cars to the shop" which means they're in storage out of the house (they're in just my name from before marriage and I don't want them damaged) I also moved all the hunting gear I owned before we got married to my father's house. Besides that we have a dog, Pepper, I'd like to keep.</p>\n\n<p>Questions:\nHow many lawyers should I meet with before choosing one? What else should/can I do to protect myself before notifying her? Once I do so should I move out of the house? What else should I know? Help... please.</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Formatting</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "Male, early 30's, married 3 years, no kids, house yes, no fault divorce. \n\n\nRant:\n I just don't recognize her anymore. She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't want to do anything, it's like she is no longer a person. At first I foolishly assumed it was just stress. Then I thought it was me, I work a lot and travel often. Then as it lasted I started to recognize the signs of depression I struggled with in my 20's. We were always great communicators so I tried talking to her about how she feels, if has anything changed, is there something you want to do. I only get a smile and seemingly sincere \"I'm good, everything is normal, I can't think of anything.\" It sounds shitty, but at this point, I am out of energy. We've changed diets, workouts, jobs, and even houses. Gone on retreats, to counseling (together and privately), and on vacation. She seems content, but I feel like I'm living with the animated body of the women I fell in love with. It walks and talks like her... but the one I know isn't there. So now... I'm here. I don't know how she will respond.\n\n\nActions Taken:\nSo far all I've done is \"Taken my classic cars to the shop\" which means they're in storage out of the house (they're in just my name from before marriage and I don't want them damaged) I also moved all the hunting gear I owned before we got married to my father's house. Besides that we have a dog, Pepper, I'd like to keep.\n\n\nQuestions:\nHow many lawyers should I meet with before choosing one? What else should/can I do to protect myself before notifying her? Once I do so should I move out of the house? What else should I know? Help... please.\n\nEdit: Formatting",
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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>You're a young girl growing up in a world where women are legally property and marriages are arranged sales to the highest bidder. So naturally if you have a pretty daughter, you'd want to do everything to get the highest price for her. Recently people have start to send their daughters to special boarding schools, ones that will train their girls to be perfect little wives.\nYour father has told you he’s applying to send you to a special school, but won’t tell you much about it. You’ve lead a pretty sheltered life so far, so you’d be pretty shocked if you read the brochure tucked away in your father’s desk:\nSt. Raphael, School for the Sexual Training of Young Girls\nSt. Raphael is a unique training program, serving the education needs of young girls, ages seven through thirteen. We offer many different classes and specialty tracks to help your innocent little girl grow into a valuable young wife. By the time your student turns fourteen, she will be ready to be sold, or perhaps gifted to a very lucky man of your choosing.\nCore Classes:\nBeauty\nEtiquette\nObedience and Submission\nDiscipline and Punishment\nSexual Servitude\nElectives:\nAnimal Sexual Servitude\nThe Art of Public Sexual Servitude\nBondage: Ropes, Gags, and Leather\nHumiliation and Degradation\nHow To Be A Good Breeder\nObject Insertion Training\nFocuses:\nBreeding - We will happily breed your daughter during her stay here, if you’d like to sell her as a “proven producer.” Required elective for this focus: How To Be A Good Breeder\nDegradation - We will teach your daughter her low place in the world by including requested daily degradation into her routines. Required elective: Humiliation and Degradation. Please specify how you would like your student degraded (See Degradation Suggestions).\nOpen Season - Your daughter will wear a bracelet that informs faculty she is available for use at all times, no restrictions on time or place. Excellent for students who need help curbing ideas of body autonomy. If her training is on slow track, she will get her bracelet when her training reaches the appropriate point. If it's on fast track, she will get it after her first night (see Sexual Tracks).\nChastity - If you want to make sure your daughter doesn’t break the rules and touch herself, you can request a chastity belt at part of her uniform. All teachers carry belt keys, and this will not disrupt their regular access for use and training. This can also be a good degradation tool; most students find the belt quite embarrassing, especially having it removed and put back on in front of other students.\nDegradation Suggestions\nMeals on the floor without hands\nSexually serving teachers at lunch before eating\nSubmission for breeding every time she crosses paths with a campus dog, regardless of time or place\nA strict come covered diet\nOutdoor urination on the lawn only\nDaily submission to golden showers (please specify if you’d like her to wear the urine all day, or if we should schedule her golden shower at night before she bathes)\nDiapering\nRegular bondage outside of bondage class\nName calling or slut-shaming\nOr request your own\nSpecialized programs\nPuppy Training - Students in puppy training learn to behave like proper puppies at all times, sleeping on a matt on the floor, eating out of a bowl, and staying on hands and knees at all times. Puppies must also wear their ears, collar, and tail plugs at all times. Their core classes are tailored specifically to this program, and they dorm only with other puppy training students. Animal Sexual Servitude is a recommended elective for this program, but not required. Please specify if you want your puppy trained to piddle outdoors only, or allowed to use a toilet in the house.\nSchool Fuckhole - The complete and total domination and degradation program, for students that need to learn their only purpose in life is offering their holes to anyone who wants to use them. Your student will be exempt from most of our classes and activities, although electives can still be included informally. She will spend the majority of her time being available for use or degradation. Most of our normal class hours will be spent bound to the table in the staff break room, available for the teachers to use during their break hours. She will take all of her meals on the floor, will only be only be allowed to urinate outdoors, will not be allowed to sit on furniture, and will be required to crawl on all fours at all times. Required dual focus: Open Season and Degradation.\nSexual Training Tracks:\nSlow track - Your student will be given time to slowly adjust to their sexual expectations. We will start with regular and private touching sessions, then slowly build from there as she adjusts.\nFast track - Your student will be properly deflowered on her first night at school, allowing her to fully understand what is expected of her from the beginning. Warning: This is traumatic for some students at first, but they do get over it.\nUniforms - All of our girls wear thin, white cotton crop top tank tops, red plaid pleated skirts, and black ballet flat style shoes. Underwear is not permitted at St. Raphael.\nSkirt length choices:\nStandard Short - Falls just below the butt, as long as students stand, sit and bend like proper ladies, all remains covered, but mistakes will certainly happen.\nCheeky Short - Not quite long enough, this length allows a student’s pussy and ass to just barely peak out under the bottom when they are standing, but remain fully covered when they are sitting.\nExtra Short - Almost too short to be called a skirt, his length is about 5 inches to short to cover anything and puts the student fully on display while standing, while still allowing a peak of pussy and ass while sitting. Excellent for students studying to be sexually displayed by their future husbands.\nUltra Short - Let’s be honest, it’s basically just a one inch plaid ruffle to decorate your student’s hips and fit the technicality of our dress code. Shouldn’t really be called a skirt.\nCampus Options - We have several prestigious campuses across the country. Choose the one with faculty genders you prefer for your daughter's training:\nNorth Campus: Female faculty\nSouth Campus: Male faculty\nWest Campus: Futa faculty\nEast Campus: Co-ed faculty of men and women\nApplication for enrollment\nTo submit an application for your student, please send a short letter explaining why you want your daughter to attend St. Raphael and your goals for her education.\nIn your application, please include:\nHer name and age\nAny and all electives, special training programs, or focuses you’d like to request\nAny subjects you’d prefer your student be exempt from [LIMITS]\nYour preferred sexual training track\nYour campus preference\nYour uniform skirt length preference\nAny other special requests for her training or care\nSt. Raphael gives priority to complete, thorough and exciting applications! (edit 3: Application volume has been low, if you're still considering sending your student to St. Raphael, we strongly encourage you to apply!)\n([Limits]We regret at this time that for legal reasons we are unable to offer any training involving vomit, or punishments that cause permanent bodily harm. Additionally, health codes do not allow us to feed your student urine, however urinating on your student is available upon request.)\nAbout the Headmistress:\nHeadmistress Catherine prefers to write in 1st person, and is particularly fond of students who are innocent and easily embarrassed. She enjoys training students who need to be pushed past their comfort zones, and is quite happy to use a heavy hand when needed.</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
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By the time your student turns fourteen, she will be ready to be sold, or perhaps gifted to a very lucky man of your choosing.\nCore Classes:\nBeauty\nEtiquette\nObedience and Submission\nDiscipline and Punishment\nSexual Servitude\nElectives:\nAnimal Sexual Servitude\nThe Art of Public Sexual Servitude\nBondage: Ropes, Gags, and Leather\nHumiliation and Degradation\nHow To Be A Good Breeder\nObject Insertion Training\nFocuses:\nBreeding - We will happily breed your daughter during her stay here, if you’d like to sell her as a “proven producer.” Required elective for this focus: How To Be A Good Breeder\nDegradation - We will teach your daughter her low place in the world by including requested daily degradation into her routines. Required elective: Humiliation and Degradation. Please specify how you would like your student degraded (See Degradation Suggestions).\nOpen Season - Your daughter will wear a bracelet that informs faculty she is available for use at all times, no restrictions on time or place. Excellent for students who need help curbing ideas of body autonomy. If her training is on slow track, she will get her bracelet when her training reaches the appropriate point. If it's on fast track, she will get it after her first night (see Sexual Tracks).\nChastity - If you want to make sure your daughter doesn’t break the rules and touch herself, you can request a chastity belt at part of her uniform. All teachers carry belt keys, and this will not disrupt their regular access for use and training. This can also be a good degradation tool; most students find the belt quite embarrassing, especially having it removed and put back on in front of other students.\nDegradation Suggestions\nMeals on the floor without hands\nSexually serving teachers at lunch before eating\nSubmission for breeding every time she crosses paths with a campus dog, regardless of time or place\nA strict come covered diet\nOutdoor urination on the lawn only\nDaily submission to golden showers (please specify if you’d like her to wear the urine all day, or if we should schedule her golden shower at night before she bathes)\nDiapering\nRegular bondage outside of bondage class\nName calling or slut-shaming\nOr request your own\nSpecialized programs\nPuppy Training - Students in puppy training learn to behave like proper puppies at all times, sleeping on a matt on the floor, eating out of a bowl, and staying on hands and knees at all times. Puppies must also wear their ears, collar, and tail plugs at all times. Their core classes are tailored specifically to this program, and they dorm only with other puppy training students. Animal Sexual Servitude is a recommended elective for this program, but not required. Please specify if you want your puppy trained to piddle outdoors only, or allowed to use a toilet in the house.\nSchool Fuckhole - The complete and total domination and degradation program, for students that need to learn their only purpose in life is offering their holes to anyone who wants to use them. Your student will be exempt from most of our classes and activities, although electives can still be included informally. She will spend the majority of her time being available for use or degradation. Most of our normal class hours will be spent bound to the table in the staff break room, available for the teachers to use during their break hours. She will take all of her meals on the floor, will only be only be allowed to urinate outdoors, will not be allowed to sit on furniture, and will be required to crawl on all fours at all times. Required dual focus: Open Season and Degradation.\nSexual Training Tracks:\nSlow track - Your student will be given time to slowly adjust to their sexual expectations. We will start with regular and private touching sessions, then slowly build from there as she adjusts.\nFast track - Your student will be properly deflowered on her first night at school, allowing her to fully understand what is expected of her from the beginning. Warning: This is traumatic for some students at first, but they do get over it.\nUniforms - All of our girls wear thin, white cotton crop top tank tops, red plaid pleated skirts, and black ballet flat style shoes. Underwear is not permitted at St. Raphael.\nSkirt length choices:\nStandard Short - Falls just below the butt, as long as students stand, sit and bend like proper ladies, all remains covered, but mistakes will certainly happen.\nCheeky Short - Not quite long enough, this length allows a student’s pussy and ass to just barely peak out under the bottom when they are standing, but remain fully covered when they are sitting.\nExtra Short - Almost too short to be called a skirt, his length is about 5 inches to short to cover anything and puts the student fully on display while standing, while still allowing a peak of pussy and ass while sitting. Excellent for students studying to be sexually displayed by their future husbands.\nUltra Short - Let’s be honest, it’s basically just a one inch plaid ruffle to decorate your student’s hips and fit the technicality of our dress code. Shouldn’t really be called a skirt.\nCampus Options - We have several prestigious campuses across the country. 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"selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm in shambles. I spent so much time and money and care making my plants huge and beautiful, and now... </p>\n\n<p>I had 22 habaneros in a stand up green house. They were very large, see my previous post. While I was taking a final the wind (or dogs) knocked them over. 3 are gone. another 5-8 are in bad shape, foliage dropping and weak, roots were exposed.</p>\n\n<p>I did the best I could to quickly replant them in soil, give them some water, and stake them up with thin bamboo skewers for support and place them back in the (now obnoxiously well supported) greenhouse away from wind, but I just don't know how well they'll do.</p>\n\n<p>I'm devastated. </p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->",
"selftext": "I'm in shambles. I spent so much time and money and care making my plants huge and beautiful, and now... \n\nI had 22 habaneros in a stand up green house. They were very large, see my previous post. While I was taking a final the wind (or dogs) knocked them over. 3 are gone. another 5-8 are in bad shape, foliage dropping and weak, roots were exposed.\n\nI did the best I could to quickly replant them in soil, give them some water, and stake them up with thin bamboo skewers for support and place them back in the (now obnoxiously well supported) greenhouse away from wind, but I just don't know how well they'll do.\n\nI'm devastated. ",
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