I tried about 5 times to get this

user: Ohhh, I didn't realize it was a joke smh
Redwolf Programs: switch (strategies) in case they figure out what we'll do next
StackMeter: bruh
user: We can figure out patterns in their strategies using pattern matching!
Adám: Can we not simply use Prolog (or even better: Brachylog) and declare that we've won?
user: We can change the fabric of the universe this way
Wezl: beats(Us, Them).
Adám: This is the way.
user: has_won(cgcc).
caird coinheringaahing: @Adám Only if we don't have to backtrack
user: @Wezl Shouldn't that be lowercase?
user: @cairdcoinheringaahing We'll cut them down if that happens!
Adám: @cairdcoinheringaahing But APL's ⎕DL (DeLay) function is known to have taken negative second counts… in the past.
Wezl: @user but Us and Them are pronouns, so variables.
hyper-neutrino: let's parse them with regex
caird coinheringaahing: Just use SQL: SELECT * FROM War WHERE Winner = CGCC
Adám: @cairdcoinheringaahing In a multiverse?
caird coinheringaahing: 7 mins ago, by Adám Just sneak into the enemy's camp and parse some HTML with regex there. Then run away and watch the destruction.
hyper-neutrino: :(
user: @Wezl But then you could do something like ?- beats(bad, cgcc) and have that evaluate to true
Redwolf Programs: Remember to optimize our tail calls to avoid leaving things in the stack
Wezl: @cairdcoinheringaahing replace their weapons with SQL
Wezl: @user ok
caird coinheringaahing: Y'all, we're missing the most obvious strategy: just bash em
A username: Breach the recursion limit!
user: Whenever one of them says "I'm joking, ...", they immediately merge into JoKing and give them extra mana
Redwolf Programs: Cast them to numbers by mistake with + or ==
user: @Wezl I'm taking this too seriously aren't I
Wezl: @cairdcoinheringaahing cut takes care of that
Adám: CGCC'); DROP TABLE enemy_defenses;--
user: @RedwolfPrograms I think you meant coercion ;)
Redwolf Programs: @user We'll get to information gathering in a minute
user: @Wezl Ninja'd :P
Redwolf Programs: A lot of our plans will be exposed since we're using global variables (they're golfier).
Wezl: :\
Redwolf Programs: We'll need to work around that. Mabe closures?
Wezl: let's compromise and make the world immutable
user: It's an advantage - we can pollute their variables
Wezl: so we can both win at the same time
Redwolf Programs: They're using private fields though.
A username: Using recursion will be very useful because Using recursion will be very useful because Using recursion will be very useful because Using recursion will be very useful because Using recursion will be very useful because Using recursion will be very useful because...
user: Hi there @ThomasWard! Totally peaceful conversation going here, ignore everything above
Adám: Don't forget to launch multi-threaded attacks. We don't want to be flanked.
A username: @RedwolfPrograms I have Firefox!
caird coinheringaahing: Totally not planning a war
Thomas Ward: @user not sure why you're pinging me - I always lurk here :P
user: Oh lol
caird coinheringaahing: Lazer Eyes is a regular here :P
Thomas Ward: just don't plan war against me, you'll lose.  sits with the controls for the orbital weapons platforms and grins evilly
user: MAD
Adám: @RedwolfPrograms APL has a secret method to inspect private values.
Redwolf Programs: We can read their comments if they dare using JS
A username: We can parse Javascript with regex!
caird coinheringaahing: @ThomasWard I believe you're one of 5 such users in the room atm :P
Redwolf Programs: enemy.toString()
Adám: If they're using JS, we can simply sit back and wait.
Thomas Ward: @Ausername ... but not HTML, we can't parse that with regex without descending into oblivion
A username: 12 mins ago, by Adám Just sneak into the enemy's camp and parse some HTML with regex there. Then run away and watch the destruction.
Redwolf Programs: We can use visibility: none on our troops to hide them
hyper-neutrino: is display: none golfier? or are they not the same
Thomas Ward: @Ausername accurate - it causes atomic selfdestruction and flames xD
Adám: @hyper-neutrino But they might not render at all then.
hyper-neutrino: ah
A username: No we use some 4d language!
Redwolf Programs: opacity: 0 is shorter and faster
Redwolf Programs: We can move silently with translate
Adám: (Unrelated: Tech news on SO acquisition.)
hyper-neutrino: \o/ a mention of the rest of the network
caird coinheringaahing: > Spolsky went into more detail [than Chandresaker, the current CEO]
Adám: Yep, noticed that too.
caird coinheringaahing: Yeah, that tracks
A username: Ready the Rail cannons!
Redwolf Programs: We can move our most valuable cargo with ruby on rails
Redwolf Programs: We have Flasks of chemical weapons
A username: Wait, we can attack using Minecraft!
---- Everything after is AI Generated
Redwolf Programs: To reach whoever built it
Redwolf Programs: Great routes for escaping are on rail tracks
Hyper-neutrino: What about cabled with string?
Redwolf Programs: Lasers?
hyper-neutrino: Bye bye enemies
ROLO II had rerouted its rail lines to a quarry
hyper-neutrino: ^
user: cwof
Redwolf Programs: Can we attack?
redwolf -f:4,-f:4
user: But wait, we can use hax (jlent)-
Redwolf Programs: We can build teleportation machines right in enemy camps to temporarily hide our forces
user: Deep switches, but also phat stacks too.
hyper-neutrino: how much dust can we destroy by shooting it with our railguns?
user: 5x2001
Redwolf Programs: But how are we going to get their private cities?
Wezl: Oh, wait, the script inheritance we're running on is sharing a hashmap on a thread. That works
user: We'll initialize a new thread with usersrb_open(thread_id,open_global_properties(global_properties),_thread_local)
Redwolf Programs: We'll have to ensure that their rooms are empty of vortices
hyper-neutrino: lol
Redwolf Programs: We can cast some walls away to prevent us from being observed
Wezl: We can cast *AWAY* permanent walls with num_targets => 0
user: We could teleport it between their cities with vortexes and then just build a bunch of walls around all of their cities
Redwolf Programs: Hmm, perhaps you could cast along connective poly(most hostile) tunnels
Wezl: also on the basis of an enter area offence we can break vort* as shown
user: we'll put every permanent vort to DM. Then they'll never go there.
Adám: Between their cities they