Redox OS April Fools EULA

gistfile1.txt

This End-User License Agreement (EULA) is a legal agreement between you
(either an individual or a single entity) and the mentioned author
(REDOX OS(TM)(R)(C) DEVELOPERS) of this Software for the software product
identified above, which includes computer software and may include associated
media, printed materials, and "online" or electronic documentation
("SOFTWARE PRODUCT").

By installing, copying, or otherwise using the SOFTWARE PRODUCT, you agree to be
bounded by the terms of this EULA.
If you do not agree to the terms of this EULA, do not install or use the
SOFTWARE PRODUCT.

SOFTWARE PRODUCT LICENSE

You must pay. You must pay. Pay, pay, pay.

If you find bugs, we will report you to the police. HACKING is illegal.

Copyright means that we can sue anyone we want at any given time. So stop saying
Redox OS(TM)(R)(C), or we will sue you.

If you speak bad about us, we're going to sue you.

We have money, you don't, so shut up.

You may not use this software for any purposes except those explicitly listed,
unless through written approval from Redox OS(TM)(R)(C) LLC:

- Booting a computer
- Shutting down a computer
- Paying us money

With the Redox OS(TM)(R)(C) software, a free(1) copy of RINTERNET XPLORE, which
you, as the signer of this EULA, agree to use, endorse, and evangelize.

No guarantees are made to the quality, usability, integrity, legality, or safety
of Redox OS(TM)(R)(C). Our only guarantee is that, if you don't renew your
subscription, your machine will explode. Particularly, it is not safe for
children, for two reasons:

1. It may explode, and explosions and children are known not to be a good
   mixture.
2. Children are evil.

The source code of Redox OS(TM)(R)(C) is encrypted using the latest technologies
(ROT26). Any attempt to break this, whether deliberate or not, is prohibited and
may result in civil proceedings.

Redox OS(TM)(R)(C) has a payment model that is freemium without the 'free',
namely, you'll have to pay, then pay some more, and more, and more, until you
don't have more money, after which we will throw you out.

Any violation(2) of this EULA will result in exclusion, suing, and whatever we
can do to make your day bad.

1 with free we mean "the logo of the software will not cost any money", the
  software itself might, however.
2 violation in this case is defined, as anything that we believe is a violation.
  It doesn't have to be a part of any of the rules described above.

The consistency and integrity of the above license is formally verified, through
a state-of-the-art technique we call "careful reading". We have formally
verified our license verification code in order to ensure you the best
have-to-buy-a-license experience (result may vary)

@strfry, you asked for these.

The source code of Redox OS(TM)(R)(C) is encrypted using the latest technologies
(ROT26). Any attempt to break this, whether deliberate or not, is prohibited and
may result in civil proceedings.

I thought this was fun.