I suck at marketing, but off the top of my head, some thoughts based on your home page:
- “Civilized discussion” is spot on for public communities, but I suspect businesses would be far more interested in something along the lines of “organized, findable discussions” — emphasizing how Discourse is better than of email and chat.
- I.E. it’d be worthwhile to find a tagline that somehow captures the value proposition of Discourse in both public and private domains.
- The copy “Hang out and have searchable public conversations” is not right for businesses. They don’t want to hang out, and they don’t want their conversations public.
- All the examples in the Who's using it section and in the Customers page are public communities. It would be helpful if a few of those were businesses.