/finals Secret

## finals
Why am I bothering to pretend to study for finals?

I've been told that college is important because it "rounds you as a person". False. Living as a civil human being does that. Sharing a house with family does that. Sitting in a classroom just makes your note-taking hand hurt and your eating stomach growl. (Fact: Students have two stomachs, one for eating and the other for always being in the mood of a snack.)

I've been told that college is important because a degree will help you get a job. False. Unless you're majoring in pre-medicine or pre-law, where you better be damned sure what you're doing before you start or you might kill someone. I'm writing software. (I'm not writing for "airplanes" either. CS professors like to talk about how reliable a piece of code is at 50,000 feet.)

I've been told that college is important because you learn all kinds of cool, useful, and interesting information. Kinda. There are some things that can be learned in college, but those same things are learned by introspection and practice. College teaches nothing unless you are motivated. Even then it only teaches how to learn.

Professors are a mixed bag. Between the tenured and the adjunct, most of the faculty aren't necessarily qualified, although there are a few gems. (I've seen some amazing people in "my own" department, computer science.) If you factor in the CUNY budget, which limits classes and resources, and archaic teaching methods, college facilitates very little learning.

I do most of my learning in my bedroom, which doubles as my office. I learn by doing. I read books, I write code. I do the rest of my learning in coffee shops, the subway, and cafeterias. I learn from clients, straphangers, and fellow students.

Clients teach me about how impatient and uninitiated people can be. But they also teach me patience and understanding. I don't learn that in school. It is often said that opposites attract. That's because two charges of the same direction clash over physical space. People and emotions are the same. Hence, patience and understanding counter impatience and sheer stupidity.

Fellow commuters teach me to muse about people - something they try to stress in school, but there it is delivered with an unabashed bias towards certain lifestyle choices (which I don't agree with). On the subway you can see everyone and everything. The trains are one of my favorite places in the world.

Classmates and other students teach me both arrogance and humility. I'm blessed to have a talent, but my focus therein has taught me how much I don't know. I spend some time sharing notes and discussing schoolwork with others. It's an honor very single time. It's also humbling to see just how much I don't know.

In terms of arts and sciences, I don't know close to a fraction of what they teach in school. It doesn't matter to me. I have had, thank Gd, a fair amount of success in my field, and I've seen that college isn't the golden ticket to a livelihood.

In the real world, people just care about the bottom line, and if I'm to be the one to facilitate that, a degree doesn't indicate much about my abilities. If you're too dumb to realize that, I don't trust your management skills.

This is where the CUNY system and the management world fall short. I spend my whole time in the liberal arts classes listening to professors talk about rebellions and change, yet when it comes to affecting change or figuring out a good reason to get a degree, it's always the same "you need one because people want it". Gee, that's intelligent.

So college sucks, finals are an insane pressure, and I don't need it to pay my bills. College won't help me be happy, or do well in life. Why do it?

I'm not dropping out of school for three reasons.

1) My parents want me to go to college and earn a degree. I respect them and their investment in me. Cliché, perhaps, but true.

2) I enjoy some of the classes, mostly sciences in my case, and I do indeed see a potential use for the information. I'm in school anyway, might as well take something out of it.

3) Change is hard. I hear people suffer after graduating because they wake up that first morning and don't know what to do. I don't foresee myself having that issue, because I've been coding for over a decade, but I'm not arrogant enough to discard the possibility entirely.

By very virtue of my experiences alone, and the contacts that I've met, Brooklyn College has not been a total waste for me. I'm still not set on finishing or quitting, but I'm going to take the time offered by the status quo to consider it.

If I decide to move on without finishing, it won't be without clearheaded and thorough analysis. (Hey, I'm a programmer, I'm good at that kind of thing.)

I really hope it all works out. In the interim, I'm going to go do a few hundred math problems now, or as many as I can before I fall asleep.

Good luck with your exams, enjoy vacation, and thanks for reading. Go study.
	Why am I bothering to pretend to study for finals?

	I've been told that college is important because it "rounds you as a person". False. Living as a civil human being does that. Sharing a house with family does that. Sitting in a classroom just makes your note-taking hand hurt and your eating stomach growl. (Fact: Students have two stomachs, one for eating and the other for always being in the mood of a snack.)

	I've been told that college is important because a degree will help you get a job. False. Unless you're majoring in pre-medicine or pre-law, where you better be damned sure what you're doing before you start or you might kill someone. I'm writing software. (I'm not writing for "airplanes" either. CS professors like to talk about how reliable a piece of code is at 50,000 feet.)

	I've been told that college is important because you learn all kinds of cool, useful, and interesting information. Kinda. There are some things that can be learned in college, but those same things are learned by introspection and practice. College teaches nothing unless you are motivated. Even then it only teaches how to learn.

	Professors are a mixed bag. Between the tenured and the adjunct, most of the faculty aren't necessarily qualified, although there are a few gems. (I've seen some amazing people in "my own" department, computer science.) If you factor in the CUNY budget, which limits classes and resources, and archaic teaching methods, college facilitates very little learning.

	I do most of my learning in my bedroom, which doubles as my office. I learn by doing. I read books, I write code. I do the rest of my learning in coffee shops, the subway, and cafeterias. I learn from clients, straphangers, and fellow students.

	Clients teach me about how impatient and uninitiated people can be. But they also teach me patience and understanding. I don't learn that in school. It is often said that opposites attract. That's because two charges of the same direction clash over physical space. People and emotions are the same. Hence, patience and understanding counter impatience and sheer stupidity.

	Fellow commuters teach me to muse about people - something they try to stress in school, but there it is delivered with an unabashed bias towards certain lifestyle choices (which I don't agree with). On the subway you can see everyone and everything. The trains are one of my favorite places in the world.

	Classmates and other students teach me both arrogance and humility. I'm blessed to have a talent, but my focus therein has taught me how much I don't know. I spend some time sharing notes and discussing schoolwork with others. It's an honor very single time. It's also humbling to see just how much I don't know.

	In terms of arts and sciences, I don't know close to a fraction of what they teach in school. It doesn't matter to me. I have had, thank Gd, a fair amount of success in my field, and I've seen that college isn't the golden ticket to a livelihood.

	In the real world, people just care about the bottom line, and if I'm to be the one to facilitate that, a degree doesn't indicate much about my abilities. If you're too dumb to realize that, I don't trust your management skills.

	This is where the CUNY system and the management world fall short. I spend my whole time in the liberal arts classes listening to professors talk about rebellions and change, yet when it comes to affecting change or figuring out a good reason to get a degree, it's always the same "you need one because people want it". Gee, that's intelligent.

	So college sucks, finals are an insane pressure, and I don't need it to pay my bills. College won't help me be happy, or do well in life. Why do it?

	I'm not dropping out of school for three reasons.

	1) My parents want me to go to college and earn a degree. I respect them and their investment in me. Cliché, perhaps, but true.

	2) I enjoy some of the classes, mostly sciences in my case, and I do indeed see a potential use for the information. I'm in school anyway, might as well take something out of it.

	3) Change is hard. I hear people suffer after graduating because they wake up that first morning and don't know what to do. I don't foresee myself having that issue, because I've been coding for over a decade, but I'm not arrogant enough to discard the possibility entirely.

	By very virtue of my experiences alone, and the contacts that I've met, Brooklyn College has not been a total waste for me. I'm still not set on finishing or quitting, but I'm going to take the time offered by the status quo to consider it.

	If I decide to move on without finishing, it won't be without clearheaded and thorough analysis. (Hey, I'm a programmer, I'm good at that kind of thing.)

	I really hope it all works out. In the interim, I'm going to go do a few hundred math problems now, or as many as I can before I fall asleep.

	Good luck with your exams, enjoy vacation, and thanks for reading. Go study.