somewhere out there... lives at least one graduate student who's only significant challenge in school is entitling his essays. research, writing, peer-review come easy, but the titles...
he is so terrified of anyone figuring this out that he plagiarizes titles and ONLY titles, hyperventilating and sweating his ass off... he wishes so desperately that he could just use a number document ID on the title page... he cannot go on like this.
his doctoral thesis is expected in three days. it is a masterpiece... relevant, original, impeccably documented.
in fact, it is so good that its title is almost certainly going to be attached to his name for the rest of his academic career and on.. if only it had one.
he can't sleep... he's losing his mind. he's going to be ruined! all of the tutoring and the schmoozing and the constant, careful adjustment of his social orientation within the grant-sustained meritocracy for enough favors (its currency) for the asks to craft such a thing.
