-
-
Save evansolomon/fdd8b74fab2f9d5214f5 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
A really slow WordPress plugin
This file contains bidirectional Unicode text that may be interpreted or compiled differently than what appears below. To review, open the file in an editor that reveals hidden Unicode characters.
Learn more about bidirectional Unicode characters
<?php | |
/* | |
Plugin Name: Slow plugin | |
Description: Make a site unreasonably slow | |
Author: Evan Solomon | |
*/ | |
function print_a_slow_script() { | |
?> | |
<script> | |
function so_slow(miliseconds) { | |
miliseconds += new Date().getTime(); | |
while( new Date() < miliseconds ) { | |
//Do nothing except be evil and slow | |
} | |
} | |
//Let's wait 5 seconds for anything to happen... | |
so_slow( 5000 ); | |
//Just 2 more seconds now..." | |
so_slow( 2000 ); | |
</script> | |
<?php | |
} | |
//Load a useless, slow script | |
function make_the_site_slow() { | |
if( is_admin() ) | |
return; | |
print_a_slow_script(); | |
} | |
add_action( 'wp_print_scripts', 'make_the_site_slow' ); | |
//Just for fun let's append a huge, uncached photo of earth to each post! | |
function random_big_earth_photo( $content ) { | |
return $content . "<img src='http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Nasa_blue_marble.jpg?" . mt_rand(0,1000000) . "'>"; | |
} | |
add_filter( 'the_content', 'random_big_earth_photo' ); |
Sign up for free
to join this conversation on GitHub.
Already have an account?
Sign in to comment