Last year was a big year for me, a life shattering earth shaking kind of year. The kind of year that changed me fundamentally, and changed just about everything about my life.
I don't remember how the year started, but I remember how it ended. I was working 70+ hours per week. I hardly ever saw my kids. I worked at home, so I rarely left the house. I didn't have many friends that weren't on the internet. In fact, I rarely talked in person to any adults other than my husband for weeks at a time from about June on.
I tried to change it. I tried to fix it, to patch it, to stop it from getting worse. But I couldn't or I didn't. It only got worst. I spiraled farther and farther down a hole, until there was no way out. No way up. Only down, only further, only darker. And so down I went.
It got to the point that I was numb. I couldn't feel. I couldn't find anything about myself that was worth sticking around for. I'd done terrible things in my attempts to flee the life that I felt was trapping me into this ter
