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Last active September 7, 2016 16:28
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Goodism is an agnostic religion (more like a philosophy) based on not being a dick.

Goodism

Most religions have a few things in common. Don't kill people. Don't rape people. Respect your parents. Love thy neighbor. All that kind of stuff. But, basically, it all boils down to Don't be a dick. So, here's Goodism, which takes all the overly-specific stuff from other religions and provides a generic, deity-agnostic philosophy to live by.

There are just a few simple rules. And you only really have to remember one of them. The first one. So, here it is.

1: Don't Be a Dick

Seriously. Don't be a dick. Before you do anything, consider whether you're being a dick. If you are, then STOP IMMEDIATELY (and you might want to apologize). If you remember nothing else about Goodism, remember this core tenet.

2: If Someone is Being a Dick, Call Them On It

But don't be a dick about it. Just a simple "Whoah, hey, don't be a dick." is fine. As long as you keep it cool, then calling someone on being a dick won't make you a dick.

And if someone calls you out for being a dick, then stop whatever you're doing. If you don't think you were being a dick, you can probably discuss it like a civilized non-dick person, and work it out.

3: If You're Not Sure, You're Probably Being a Dick

So stop. If you're really perplexed, then maybe ask someone. Even if that person is you. Maybe say (to yourself, if necessary) "Hey, if I were to do [something possibly dickish], would I be a dick?". If you can't come up with a good answer, maybe say "Hey, if someone was doing this to me, would they be a dick?". If the answer is YES, then STOP IMMEDIATELY (and you might want to apologize).


And there you have it. Pretty simple.

Don't worry. If you don't follow the rules, you won't go to hell or be punished for eternity or your next life or whatever.

You'll just be a dick.

@ralt
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ralt commented Feb 7, 2013

That's a lot of dicks thrown around.

@ryankinal
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Yep.

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