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Created April 2, 2024 14:38
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24w14potato april fools potato quests (SPOILERS)
{
/*
This contains spoilers for the minecraft april fools update 2024's potato plant quest line
just go play it ingame, iirc the bonus chest should have a potato plant
you have been warned
*/
// starts when you put a potato plant item on your head
"potato.quest.intro.jump.0": "Well, well, well. It looks like you found us.\n(Press [%2$s] to acknowledge)",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.1": "Woah, steady on your feet there %1$s.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.2": "You're probably thinking: \"What's the deal with this guy?\"",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.3": "I invite you to take a moment to consider my situation.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.4": "We've been planning on infiltrating Minecraft for weeks.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.5": "But all we could manage is sneaking into this April Fools' Snapshot.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.6": "And now you've discovered us.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.7": "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to write Java code?",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.8": "It's not as simple as copying samples from the internet.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.9": "There's also a lot of pasting involved.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.10": "We had to write tens of lines of code by rolling on the keys\nand hoping for the best.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.11": "And now that I have finally infiltrated Minecraft:\nYou pranced on over, picked me up, and plopped me on your head.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.12": "I must say, you have incredible balance keeping me up here.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.13": "Especially considering you're jumping so much.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.14": "Why are you jumping? Are you being startled?",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.15": "I don't see much to be startled by around here.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.16": "Then again, I have no eyes as I am a Poisonous Potato.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.17": "So really I'm not going to see much at all.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.18": "Although the little sprouts growing out of me are also called eyes.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.19": "Perhaps if I squint hard enough I can see where we're at.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.20": "Watch out! There's a block over there! Try not to be startled by it!",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.21": "Maybe you need a moment to breathe and relax.\nThis world is very startling, afterall.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.22": "If we can find a Village we could take one of those Beds and rest.",
"potato.quest.intro.jump.23": "Let's find a Minecraft Village.",
// when entering a village
"potato.quest.in_village.0": "There should be a Bed around here that we can take.",
// when leaving a village, without moving on
"potato.quest.leaving_village.jump.0": "Woah, woah, woah. You need to rest your tired feet, remember?",
"potato.quest.leaving_village.jump.1": "Let's go back to that Village and take a Bed.",
// if you sleep in a Bed
"potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.0": "I'm pretty sure I said TAKE a Bed.",
"potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.1": "Sleeping in a Bed is not the same as taking a Bed.",
"potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.2": "If I had meant that, I would have said:\n\"Hey %1$s. You should TAKE a nap\".",
"potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.3": "",
// if you get a bed in your inventory
"potato.quest.took_bed.jump.0": "Did I say take a Bed? I think I meant to say \"Take a nap\".",
"potato.quest.took_bed.jump.1": "",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.0": "By the way-",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.1": "What do you think of this year's April Fools' joke?",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.2": "I preferred the one where you could only pick up a single Block.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.3": "But this year I think they nailed it.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.4": "Potatoes!",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.5": "Hilarious.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.6": "Anyways. I am genuinely interested in your thoughts.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.7": "...",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.8": "I'm trying to read your thoughts,\nbut I don't think we are communicating with telepathy.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.9": "At least, two-way telepathy. This feels rather unidirectional.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.10": "And then you jump every now and then.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.11": "I am only assuming that jumping is a sign of acknowledgement.",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.12": "Perhaps I can modify your inventory...",
"potato.quest.meta_one.jump.13": "",
// adds a paper with lore "Write your thoughts on the April Fools' Snapshot" to your inventory
"potato.quest.got_paper.jump.0": "You should hopefully have some Paper on you.",
"potato.quest.got_paper.jump.1": "Oh wait, you need an Anvil too.",
"potato.quest.got_paper.jump.2": "",
"potato.quest.anvil_dropped.jump.0": "There, that should do it.",
"potato.quest.anvil_dropped.jump.1": "Use that Anvil to write your thoughts on the Paper.",
// when taking paper from anvil
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.0": "I don't think I can read this Paper.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.1": "My Potato eyes aren't suitable for reading.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.2": "Remember what I said about not being able to see?",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.3": "Nothing has changed in that department.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.4": "I will assume that you are VERY enthusiastic about the Snapshot.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.5": "It will be on page 1 of my report.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.6": "\"%1$s really likes the Poisonous Potato themed jokes.\"",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.7": "There. It's in my report.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.8": "Actually I might need that Paper back.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.9": "I tore it from the back of my report.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.10": "And I think that page was the appendix.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.11": "The first item in the appendix will be your take on this Snapshot.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.12": "You must be wondering what this report is about.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.13": "It pertains as to why I am here in Minecraft.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.14": "And that information is CLASSIFIED.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.15": "But I will hint that it involves the Poisonous Potato.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.16": "We believe there is some significance to the Poisonous Potato.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.17": "And from analysis of the Minecraft code...",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.18": "We believe you should try cutting out the eyes.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.19": "Or more accurately: Craft out the Potato Eyes.",
"potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.20": "Go on %1$s.\nCraft Potato Eyes from a Poisonous Potato.",
// when taking potato eye from "result slot"
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.0": "Wow nice crafting. Have you played Minecraft before?",
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.1": "Now we're going to go on a little adventure.",
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.2": "Throw the Potato Eye into the air.",
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.3": "When I say \"throw\" I don't mean \"drop\".",
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.4": "It's something to do with \"Using\" the Potato Eye with %3$s.",
"potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.5": "Look into the sky and use the Potato Eye with %3$s.",
// on throwing the eye
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.0": "Excellent.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.1": "It looks like a developer copy-pasted the Ender Eye code for this.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.2": "That means there's a chance these Potato Eyes could break.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.3": "Remember to craft more if you lose a Potato Eye.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.4": "Wow a Minecraft adventure. This is exciting.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.5": "I wonder what the deal is with the Potatoes?",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.6": "Perhaps the Developers REALLY like Potatoes.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.7": "At least, the Poisonous ones.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.8": "Poisonous Potatoes, that is.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.9": "Not Poisonous Developers.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.10": "Do you think the Developers are hiding somewhere in this Snapshot?",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.11": "Maybe we will meet one!",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.12": "You should take my Minecraft ideas to show them.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.13": "",
// if you get to 13, you get the book below, optional. (you can also just follow the eye and skip it)
"potato.quest.book.title": "My Minecraft Ideas",
"potato.quest.book.author": "P.P.P.",
"potato.quest.book.page.0": "• Ice cream scoops\n• Filthy rags\n• Emerald Horse Armor\n• Sunglasses\n• Many spiders\n• More spiders\n• Lots of spiders\n• Too many spiders\n• Ice cream spiders\n• Tiny fishing rods\n• Boots that don't fly off my feet when I am running",
"potato.quest.book.page.1": "• Boots that don't fly off my feet, kicking me in my own nose, when I am running\n• Emerald Horses\n• Moonglasses\n• X-ray glasses\n• Four course meals\n• Smaller Salmon\n• Toothbrushes (to help with dental hygiene)",
"potato.quest.book.page.2": "• One of those chocolate eggs that you'd find in a cave, but you cannot pick it up, you must unwrap its foil there on the ground, and eat it immediately, leaving the trash behind\n• More things made of Stone\n• Ray from last years' April Fools'",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.0": "I've written my best Minecraft ideas in this book.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.1": "They are very original ideas.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.2": "If the Developers don't use them then I could make a mod.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.3": "Or maybe they could give me a job?",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.4": "I could start by making everyone coffee.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.5": "I'd tell jokes about drinking coffee and writing Java code.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.6": "They probably only hire Minecraft experts.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.7": "%1$s! We should become Minecraft experts!",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.8": "And I know the perfect way to do that.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.9": "Our intelligence tells us of a legendary Greatstaff: Potatiesh.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.10": "Spoiler alert: It is the ultimate item in this April Fools' Snapshot.",
"potato.quest.got_book.jump.11": "You need to acquire Potatiesh, Greatstaff of the Peasant.",
// if within 16 blocks of eye target
"potato.quest.found_portal.jump.0": "Is that the portal?",
"potato.quest.found_portal.jump.1": "It seems a little...Worse for wear.",
"potato.quest.found_portal.jump.2": "I see a Pedestal in the middle.",
"potato.quest.found_portal.jump.3": "Have you got a spare Poisonous Potato with you?",
"potato.quest.found_portal.jump.4": "Try using a Poisonous Potato with the Pedestal.",
// on opening the portal
"potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.0": "Just as I thought. A portal.",
"potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.1": "I think you know what happens next.",
"potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.2": "You're going to waltz on in there, find a Dragon,\nand destroy some Potato themed crystals.",
"potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.3": "This Snapshot is dripping with creativity.",
"potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.4": "Lucky that I am here to provide commentary and context.",
// on entering the portal
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.0": "At last. The Potato Dimension.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.1": "Does something smell...Starchy to you?",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.2": "I think you need to change your shampoo.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.3": "I am feeling quite greasy up here.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.4": "Let's focus on the task at hand.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.5": "...",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.6": "This place is looking rather tragic.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.7": "Have you seen the animals?",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.8": "The Minecraft Pig is looking pretty cheeky.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.9": "And so is the Cow.\nVery cheeky.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.10": "Anyhow, we should find a Potato Village.",
"potato.quest.dimension.jump.11": "There should be a Potato Village around here somewhere...",
// on finding a potato village
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.0": "Awesome, you're in a Potato Village.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.1": "This will be our base of operations from here on out.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.2": "Familiarize yourself with the Villagers.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.3": "Steal their loot, etc. The usual Minecraft stuff.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.4": "There's some neat stuff around here.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.5": "Most of it is Potato themed.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.6": "But as long as you think Potatoes are neat.\nYou'll be right at home.",
"potato.quest.potato_village.jump.7": "Once you're ready:\nThrow another one of those Potato Eyes.",
// throwing another eye
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.0": "On the road, once again.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.1": "This time we're looking for a dangerous place.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.2": "It'll be a battle against the ultimate Potato.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.3": "That's all the information I have.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.4": "If I were to guess: It's probably a Maris Piper.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.5": "Known to be the most versatile of the Potatoes.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.6": "It's worth going in with the right tools.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.7": "Sharpen up some swords, boil up some potions.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.8": "Don't forget to also cook up some potatoes.",
"potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.9": "We're certainly not lacking for potatoes here.",
// on being < 16 blocks from target
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.0": "The Potato Eye is pointing around here.",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.1": "That means we're near the right place!",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.2": "Let's start digging until we find the structure.",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.3": "Come on, %1$s. Time to put the MINE into Minecraft.",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.4": "...",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.5": "What I'm trying to say is: Start digging.",
"potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.6": "Mine your way into the structure.",
// when inside the structure
"potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.0": "Woah. I think we're here.",
"potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.1": "This looks like some kind of Colosseum.",
"potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.2": "I think you'll need this Wooden Sword.",
"potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.3": "",
// gives a wooden sword
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.0": "Defend yourself. I'll watch your back!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.1": "Look out!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.2": "Try a critical hit!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.3": "Swing faster!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.4": "No, don't do that!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.5": "Is that TNT?",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.6": "If only you were wearing a Helmet.",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.7": "Go that way!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.8": "Go the other way!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.9": "Try unplugging your mouse and swinging it!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.10": "Place some blocks!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.11": "Throw a blanket over it!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.12": "Try spinning really fast!",
"potato.quest.got_sword.jump.13": "",
// loops back to 0, until a POTATO_STAFF is in your inventory (gotten by killing the boss)
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.0": "This is Potatiesh, Greatstaff of the Peasant!",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.1": "Now I need you to follow my instructions very carefully.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.2": "Place Potatiesh into a Composter.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.3": "Trust me. I will definitely NOT betray you.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.4": "Find a Composter, and pop Potatiesh in there.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.5": "It would be super cool if you closed your eyes afterwards.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.6": "Just pop Potatiesh into a Composter, and then close your eyes.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.7": "It's a really real thing that you can definitely do.",
"potato.quest.got_staff.jump.8": "Find a Composter, and use Potatiesh with it.",
// on composting the staff
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.0": "Wow I can't believe you fell for that.",
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.1": "Potatiesh really is the ultimate Staff.",
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.2": "And now it's half-way composted into Bonemeal.",
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.3": "Congratulations.",
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.4": "I made a fool out of you %1$s.",
"potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.5": "April Fools'!",
// after completing this last line, a timer that counts up while you have the potato plant on your head stops, and gets displayed
// the state is stored in player nbt, and resets on death (including the time)
}
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