Empathy is something that I look at as one of my core values. I consider empathy to be one of our fundamental human senses, the sense that allows us to truly be present and understand one another, the main ingredient in true communication. Using empathy has helped me to learn how to be a better listener, a better collaborator, better at knowing when and how to contribute, and better at knowing when and how to support someone. Empathy helps me connect with people on a deeper, more genuine level. Learning how to be more empathetic has also helped me learn how to better tune in and listen to my own needs, values, preferences & opinions, and connect with myself on a deeper and more genuine level as well. Incorporating empathy is like turbocharging your internal intuition engine. I think that if more people in the world were to focus on cultivating empathy in their lives, the world would become a much healthier place.
Empathy is one of the most important tools to use when figuring out how a product will best serve the user. Empathizing with the user allows you to look at the software (or any product) and step outside of your own shoes to gain perspective on how to make it most effective and easy to interact with, and to address any challenges the user might face when using the software/product. In the designer's seat, it can be easy for the ego to get too involved and dictate the growth and evolution of a product from a self serving position, rather than from being in touch with the person who will actually use a product and to understand how it will affect their lives. Empathy is also essential in being able to work effectively on a team, to communicate with supervisors, and get an accurate read on the working environment to gain understanding of how to best show up in any situation. Additionally, computers are really just little electronic beings in that they also listen, have needs and boundaries, and you work with them to solve problems. Being empathetic at very least will help you be more patient and understanding in the very particular and often challenging process of writing software.
Often times, the best way to work on a team is knowing how to best listen to and support your teammates. By being empathetic in a team situation, you can make your teammates feel seen/heard/valued, which can contribute to strong group morale and teambuilding. Communication is the name of the game when working with a team, so being able to listen, re-articulate what someone has just told you, and communicate your needs/understand someone elses, all require the employment of empathy. If conflict arises when trying to solve a problem, empathy can help you get a birds-eye-view of the situation, and look at the conflicting perspectives more objectively to try and find a solution without letting ego get in the way. Empathy allows you to zoom out, to access the "bigger picture", which can really help to assess what is already being taken care of and what things you can do to best contribute. Empathy is important in gauging how your teammates are doing on any given day, and allowing you to know how to best relate to people on a human-to-human level, which is important whether the situation is professional, social, confrontational, or simply making acquaintances with new people.
Perhaps four months ago, we hired a new employee to join our very small staff of seven people at my old job, The Denver Folklore Center. This is a small acoustic music store, selling instruments, music books and accessories. I was the manager of inventory for accessories, and had my preferred systems and methods for managing the inventory of the store. As I began training our new employee, I would find myself getting frustrated that certain concepts I'd been practicing for years were taking a while to stick with my trainee, and that he was also devising his own systems to accomplish the tasks that I had built my own routines for. I became frustrated with myself for becoming frustrated with this person for simply being new at something. I was getting frustrated because I was clinging on to the way things had been, and was refusing to give up control. I remembered what it was like when I had first started that job, how long it took me to remember our procedures for certain tasks or where certain items were stored, and how long it took me to get to a point where those things became automatic. This allowed me to soften towards our new hiree, empathize with his position and the task of learning a new work environment and workflow, and no longer be bothered by the same things that I myself struggled with when I began that job. I found myself not only no longer frustrated, but I began to truly enjoy working with and getting to know this individual, and enjoyed the process of helping him get to know the store and the job better. Empathizing removed the hierarchy of experience that I was being blinded by and allowed me to listen, learn how to better help and support, and simply get to know a really cool new person.
When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings? How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios?
I think it can be most challenging to access empathy, but is most important to, when things get a little heated or when someone is being adversarial towards you. Working in professional settings can sometimes yield results or decisions that not everybody is happy with, and this can sometimes lead to feelings being hurt, and defensive attitudes being adopted. I find that it is hardest for me to empathize with someone when they are being heated with me. It can be easy to get swept up in the emotional context of a situation, but those are the moments where empathy, patience, and understanding are the most important attitudes to cultivate. Instead of jumping into the swamp in situations like this and getting emotionally involved, it is often best to simply acknowledge that somebody's feelings are hurt, and by doing so help the other person feel validated in their position. Once someone feels seen and understood, it is much easier to find a solution from a more level and rational mode of thinking. I fortunately am not faced with this scenario very often, but when I am I think it's important to keep in mind that we all have emotions and reactions that for one reason or another, we feel are valid ways to feel or react. Understanding that someone who has a differing opinion than you also feels like their viewpoint is correct is important to level the playing field, and try to work together to find a solution.