Hardcore USSR Framework...

_.php

<?php

class ☭ {
	protected $☭;
	
	public function __call($n, $v) 
	{
		$this->☭ or ($this->☭ = (object)[]);
		@$this->☭->{$n} or ($this->☭->{$n} = []);
		$this->☭->{$n}[trim(mb_substr($v[0], 0, mb_strpos($v[0], "\n")))] = create_function(
			trim(mb_substr($v[0], mb_strpos($v[0], "\n"), mb_strpos($v[0], "\n", mb_strpos($v[0], "\n") + 1))), 
			"return " . trim(mb_substr($v[0], mb_strpos($v[0], "\n", mb_strpos($v[0], "\n") + 1)))
		);
		return $this;
	}
	
	public function __toString()
	{
		return isset($this->☭->{@$_SERVER['REQUEST_METHOD']}[@$_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']])
				? call_user_func_array($this->☭->{@$_SERVER['REQUEST_METHOD']}[@$_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']], $_REQUEST)
				: 'Resource Not Found';
	}
}

exit((new ☭)
	->GET(<<<'EOF'
	/
	
	"<form method='POST'><input name='name'><input type='submit'/></form>";
EOF
	)
	->POST(<<<'EOF'
	/
	$name
	"Hello {$name}";
EOF
	)
);