mahoyo_en_switch_vs_steam.diff

SEE: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/34-
--- switch_version.txt	2023-12-20 00:23:13.060612390 -0600
+++ script_text_en.ctd_	2023-12-20 00:14:28.280076821 -0600
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-  It was a winter's day eight years prior when it happened.
+  It was a winter's day eight years ago...
   That solemn morning when she understood the value of life for the very first time.
   Her home was nestled on the side of a mountain.
   Around it was nothing but inhospitable wilderness.
@@ -20,14 +20,14 @@
   A few moments passed.
 Her father came out and opened the hood of the car.
   Creaking fan belts...
-A monstrous-looking engine...
+  A monstrous-looking engine...
   And something that didn't belong.
   There was a cat―a mother by the looks of it―and her two kittens.
   The three cats had been huddling for warmth in the engine's compartment.
-The mother cat was missing its head.
+  The mother cat was missing its head.
   One of the kittens had been mangled beyond recognition by the engine belts, and surely died instantly.
   The other kitten, its face half-covered in blood, panted faintly.
-  It desperately clung to its mother-or rather, the chunk of meat that was its mother-with the last bit of life it could muster.
+  It desperately clung to its mother―or rather, the chunk of meat that had been its mother―with the last bit of life it could muster.
 "Poor things."
   Her father lamented their plight.
   The previous night had been especially cold.
@@ -65,7 +65,7 @@
   And the tears she had fought so hard to hold back poured from her eyes.
   Regret spread through her chest like an endless gray sky.
 "We were too late. Some things cannot be undone."
-  Her mind struggled to come to grips what had just occurred.
+  Her mind struggled to come to grips with what had just occurred.
   The last ten minutes were a total blank.
   Who she met...
   What she had known... It was all as if it never happened.
@@ -107,7 +107,7 @@
 "..."
   A faint but shrill sound lingered in her ears.
   It was the unmistakable ring of a telephone.
-  Much to her chagrin, out of habit her eyes popped open.
+  Much to her chagrin, her eyes popped open out of habit.
 "Oh, c'mon. Why today of all days?"
   The telephone was situated in the foyer on the first floor.
   Answering it meant walking down a thirty-foot corridor and going down a flight of stairs.
@@ -176,7 +176,7 @@
   He was the exact opposite of how she felt a teacher should be. It was only natural that her manner towards him would be forced and unfriendly.
   Not that she'd ever been wired to make friendly small talk.
 "You're in a foul mood today."
-"Today?
+"You must be imagining it.
   I'm like this every day."
   The matter-of-fact answer perfectly matched the displeasure displayed on her face.
   Her bad mood from having to get up early and the tiredness from staying up late must have collectively made her look positively adversarial.
@@ -192,7 +192,7 @@
 "If this was all a joke to you, perhaps I should just go home."
 "Wait, wait. I didn't mean to laugh. This is not a practical joke. We could really use your help."
 "So there really is a transfer student?"
-"Yes, but he has... how should I put it? Difficult circumstances."
+"Yes, but he has... how should I put it? Difficult circumstances.
   His name...is Soujyuro. And he's a bit...well, peculiar. So we thought someone around the same age would be best suited to show him the ropes."
 "..."
   She threw him an unamused look.
@@ -204,7 +204,7 @@
   This wasn't the time to get distracted by more concerns.
   The fact remained that this conversation was all the "peculiar" she could handle, and she needed more information. She was already beginning to fantasize about saying no and curling up in her warm bed at home.
 "I have a question."
-"Yes? Ah, he's a second year student like you. He's well-behaved and a good listener. He's not the most energetic individual, but that just means he'll be easier to get along with, right?
+"Yes? Ah, he's a second-year  student like you. He's well-behaved and a good listener. He's not the most energetic individual, but that just means he'll be easier to get along with, right?
   He's not in the same homeroom class as you, but I'm sure you'll get along just-"
 "I'll be the judge of that when I actually meet him.
   And none of that answered my question: why me?"
@@ -239,7 +239,7 @@
   The room was filled with neatly arranged rectangular tables.
   He was the only one there.
   Quite some time had passed since he had been brought to this room and asked to wait.
-  Even the best behaved student might have grown dissatisfied or anxious with the situation by now, but the boy stuck to his spot like a scarecrow.
+  Even the best-behaved student might have grown dissatisfied or anxious with the situation by now, but the boy stuck to his spot like a scarecrow.
   He was chilled to the bone.
   It was the end of November, and the low temperature in the morning had marked the start of winter.
   The room was not much warmer.
@@ -291,7 +291,7 @@
 "They probably didn't have police officers, either. My family home is up in the mountains, so it's not inconceivable they wouldn't have electricity.
   But... he doesn't even know what school is?"
 "Nope. He'd heard of them, but this is apparently his first time visiting one. Maybe that's why he's nervous. He wasn't very talkative.
-  He's almost-what would you call it-feral? Like a boy raised by wolves. I suppose that makes us Lewis and Clark?"
+  He's almost―what would you call it―feral? Like a boy raised by wolves. I suppose that makes this a safari!"
 "..."
 "Hey, you're scaring me, Aozaki. I was joking. Go easy, okay?
   And don't worry. I got the feeling from talking to him that he's a nice kid!
@@ -320,7 +320,7 @@
   She also thought the person responsible for this mess would be better off attending elementary school.
   It might not be his fault, but neither was it her duty or obligation to do the teachers' work for them.
   At the very least...
-  They could have used their brains and organized all this on a normal school day-another complaint she wanted to voice later.
+  They could have used their brains and organized all this on a normal school day―another complaint she wanted to voice later.
 (I hate him already. He's my sworn enemy and I haven't even met him.
   Sorry, but I couldn't care less about his extenuating circumstances!
   You think this isn't awkward for me, too? Honestly, why did this have to happen when I'm so busy!?)
@@ -354,7 +354,7 @@
   He breathed a sigh of relief as the door slid open.
 "So sorry to keep you waiting."
   The first person he saw was a man wearing glasses and an awkward smile.
-That's Mr. Yamasiro, the one who brought me here.
+  That's Mr. Yamasiro, the one who brought me here.
 "Hey, where's Mr. Satonaka?
   I told him to keep you company. He shouldn't have left you here."
   Mr. Yamasiro scratched his head, looking increasingly apologetic.
@@ -397,7 +397,7 @@
   To reduce electricity costs, school regulations forbid the use of lights during the day.
   This was the setting the three of them found themselves in.
   Her first impression was that his calm demeanor reminded her of a field of wildflowers.
-  In spite of his perfect posture, he seemed subdued and frail.
+  In spite of his perfect posture, his overall air felt placid―tame, even.
   And though describing him as meek would be going too far, at the very least he was passive.
   Even through his uniform, she could see that he was thinner than average.
   His dark hair was unkempt, and he came across as a wholly forgettable boy.
@@ -448,10 +448,10 @@
   You'll be alright, won't you, Aozaki?
   You're the student council president! Don't let me down!"
   Mr. Yamasiro left, leaving the two in a locked-eyed state, one in which one set of eyes was doing all the glaring.
-  All that remained in the room was a naive boy
-  and a cross-armed guarded girl.
+  All that remained in the room was an artless boy
+  and a cross-armed, guarded girl.
   The two lingered in silence.
-  They resembled shogi players agonizing over their first moves, though ultimately, it was only Aoko that had considered the scene that carefully.
+  They resembled shogi players agonizing over their first moves, though it was only Aoko who was reading so much into the situation.
   She decided to put her irritation aside for the time being.
   With no reason to feel revulsion for him in the first place, she sighed deeply and faced Soujyuro.
 "Whatever. It's not like this is the first time that Mr. Yamasiro landed me in it.
@@ -547,7 +547,7 @@
   He meant no harm.
   She repeated this thought like a mantra in an attempt to keep her impulses in check.
 "It's not you, if that's what you're worried about.
-  I'd just... rather be somewhere else right now."
+  I'm just trying not to think how much better my day would've gone if I'd slept in until noon."
   With that vague answer, she started to walk again.
   And turned her gaze away from this rude stranger named Soujyuro Sizuki.
   While what constitutes 'normal' is certainly up for debate, most would undoubtedly refer to him as so. He was a simple and nice boy with nondescript features. If he were an ice cream flavor, he would be vanilla.
@@ -582,7 +582,7 @@
 "Well, there's that, but it's more about it almost being one o'clock."
   Soujyuro's gaze wandered as if worried about something.
   If he was worried about the weather, he would have a hard time seeing it as there were no windows in this hallway.
-"Don't tell me-you've got somewhere better to be."
+"Don't tell me―you've got somewhere better to be.
   Thaaat's perfect. I take time out of my day for you, and you don't have the decency to even hang around.
   You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
 "Umm, thanks, I guess? That's nice of you to say."
@@ -660,10 +660,10 @@
   And with that friendly farewell, Soujyuro walked toward the end of the hallway.
   Or so she thought before he turned into the next class over.
 "Did he just...?"
-  Soujyuro headed straight for one of the classroom's window.
+  Soujyuro headed straight for one of the classroom's windows.
   Whereupon he opened it with ease.
   The chilly November air filled the room as the soft sounds of the rain doubled in volume.
-  In that instant, she realized his intention with opening the window-she really wished she hadn't.
+  In that instant, she realized his intention with opening the window--she really wished she hadn't.
 "Nooo! Stop stop stop STOP!"
   He already had one leg out the window when she dashed to stop him.
 "What do you think you're doing!?"
@@ -671,7 +671,7 @@
 "You do know that this window isn't an exit, don't you!?
   I mean, do you even know what floor you're on!?"
   She saw the light of understanding dawn in his eyes.
-"...Oh my god, I almost died. Who would put an exit here!? This is dangerous."
+"...Oh my god, I almost died. Who would put an exit here? This is dangerous."
 "It's the lack of something between your ears that's dangerous."
   Her insult went right over his head.
 "People here don't normally enter and exit through windows, okay?
@@ -681,7 +681,7 @@
   He pulled his leg back inside and closed the window.
   His school uniform was soaking wet from the rain.
 "Hey, be my guest.
-  Go outside any way you like, just don't do it in front of me from now on.
+  Go outside any way you like. Just don't do it in front of me from now on.
   Anyway... You start school tomorrow, right?"
 "Yeah. I'm a little nervous, though, which is why I came in early for the tour."
   He bid her farewell before running away down the hallway.
@@ -717,7 +717,7 @@
   The teachers at Misaki High School weren't fond of bright colors, so Aoko's red umbrella was an unusual sight.
   A ghost story about how the umbrella was once pure white had been making the rounds, but it featured Aoko instead of a ghost.
   It was with that umbrella that she made her way toward Misaki Station.
-  The private Misaki High School got its name from the town of the same name.
+  Misaki Private High School took its namesake from the town it was in.
   The area was once a sprawl of farmland and woodland, but rapid growth over the last ten years had led to unprecedented modernization.
   There were some who fought to preserve Misaki's natural treasures.
 "I agree in principle to preserving the land, but not at the expense of our prosperity."
@@ -732,14 +732,14 @@
   It became a truly odd suburban town, welcoming an increasingly urban population with its vestiges of old country charm.
   Misaki High School was a private school established long before the town's current state.
   The original campus, built fifty years ago, was located high up in the mountains, making its current location its second incarnation.
-  The path to the old grounds was remote, steep,
-  and also well-trodden by animals.
+  The path to the old grounds was not only steep and remote―
+  it had become an overgrown game trail with the passage of time.
   For these reasons, among others, Misaki High School had been shuttered until almost 20 years ago, when it received a donation from a department store chain that allowed for the construction of a new campus in the city.
   And thus, Misaki High School reopened its doors, the old woodland campus forgotten.
   In fact, most of the students attending Misaki High School were not from Misaki at all.
   The hearty rustic people of this country town preferred prefectural schools to private ones.
   Truth be told, Aoko herself was one of them.
-  All she had wanted after junior high was to move to Tokyo, where she hoped to spend her days enjoying live music on her way to entering a public university.
+  All she had wanted after junior high was to move to Tokyo, where she hoped to spend her days touring her favorite bands on her way to entering a public university.
   But her hopes were dashed with her sister's departure, so here she was, walking alone in town with only a red umbrella to keep her company on what should have been a day off.
 "...Looking back on it now...
   It's like my whole life has been one disaster after another."
@@ -819,7 +819,7 @@
   The house...
   ...was the Kuonji Mansion.
   Everyone in town knew about the witch's house on the hill.
-  The unabashedly haunted house where Aoko Aozaki resided for reasons unknown.
+  It was an unabashedly haunted house where Aoko Aozaki resided, for reasons known only to her.
   Needless to say, it was not really haunted.
   The Kuonji family home was a grand Western-style mansion with a long and storied history, stretching all the way back to England.
   It was too small to be a dormitory, yet too big to be called a house.
@@ -843,20 +843,20 @@
   It was particularly gloomy on rainy days.
   On moonless nights, it was like the world itself ceased to be.
   Aoko decided the drawing room to the east would be a good place to rest, but knowing that she would not be able to relax until she changed clothes, she started up the stairs.
-  The stairs curled up the wall to the second floor hall.
-  There was a third floor attic as well, accessible from the far end of the hall.
+  The stairs curled up the wall to the second-floor hall.
+  There was a third-floor attic as well, accessible from the far end of the hall.
   She had never set foot in there in the two years she had lived here, though.
-  The Kuonji mansion was more or less divided into two wings-east and west.
+  The Kuonji mansion was more or less divided into two wings: east and west.
   Aoko had been given the entire east wing, but two rooms were more than enough as far as she was concerned.
   She had no desire to open a door that would trap you in a storybook world or lead to an attic that had only been used for storage these last five years.
   Aoko's room was at the end of the east wing's long corridor.
   She had elected for a smaller room for no other reason other than that she thought it would be easier to clean.
   It was furnished with a large bed, her beloved mahogany desk, a wardrobe and chest for her clothes, and two nine-shelf bookcases.
-  That is all she brought with her from home.
-  Her entire life of sixteen years reduced to this.
-  She borrowed the next room down for her own purposes.
+  That was the extent of what she'd brought from home.
+  Her entire life of sixteen years, reduced to this.
+  She'd also borrowed the next room down for her own purposes.
 "Oh yeah. I should check on the watchtower I got from Alice."
-  She needed to see if the project she had been working on all night had born fruit.
+  She needed to see if the project she had been working on all night had borne fruit.
   The study next door served as proof of the life she had been living for the last year and how different that life was from the one she had lived before.
   It was not a room for the person she had been.
   It was a room for the person she would eventually become. A place of solitude that only she could enter. Or so she thought...
@@ -880,7 +880,7 @@
   I came from a pretty traditional household myself."
   Now in a somewhat pleasant mood, she decided to brew some tea.
   She boiled some water in the kitchen, prepared a teapot, and made herself some black tea.
-"Mmm."
+"Whew."
   With a flop, she sank into the sofa.
   She took a sip of her tea, then another.
   Lulled by the ticking of the clock, she took a third sip as she pondered how to spend her afternoon.
@@ -905,7 +905,7 @@
   In Aoko's humble opinion, the gloominess suited her.
   She evoked something like out of a painting.
   There was something unreal about her, as if she were frozen in time.
-  The white of her neck was so lovely that even Aoko found herself enchanted by it.
+  The white of her gently arched neck was so lovely that even Aoko found herself enchanted by it.
   The girl was one of the haunted house's two residents.
   Her name was Alice Kuonji, and she was the same age as Aoko.
 "How long was I asleep?"
@@ -930,7 +930,7 @@
   and Alice had another.
   Alice asked without raising her head, and Aoko gave her the details.
 "I should start by apologizing.
-  The project I was working on all night was a total failure, and even though I only took my eyes off it for a second, it must have boiled over and been destroyed.
+  The project I was working on all night was a total failure. I only took my eyes off it for a second, but I think it boiled over and fell apart.
 Though I'll add that I shuffled the circulation codes as a precaution."
   Aoko tried to laugh it off as if it was someone else's problem.
 "...And?"
@@ -951,8 +951,8 @@
 "We didn't get along well from the start, but things really took a turn for the worse when I took him to a classroom.
   He apparently thought it was a place where you'd get one-on-one tutoring. And that's not all... I mean, you're never gonna believe this..."
 "What do you think he asked when I politely explained what a classroom is to him?
-But then what are the other classrooms for?'
-  Unbelievable, right?!
+  He goes, 'but then what are the other classrooms for?'
+  Unbelievable, right!?
   I mean, a classroom is a classroom!"
 "And no matter how vague or unhelpful anything I said was, he just kept nodding.
   It's like he was just taking everything at face value. I don't know if he just lacks an imagination or never uses it.
@@ -975,7 +975,7 @@
   ...The handwriting of the notes in the margin belongs to your grandfather, by the way."
 "Huh, I had no idea he was into that sort of thing.
   He had a great sense of humor. I really miss him."
-  Aoko seemed nostalgic over her now deceased grandfather.
+  Aoko seemed nostalgic over her now-deceased grandfather.
 "He just contacted you this last summer, didn't he?"
 "Do we really have to go there? Why can't dead stay dead?"
   Aoko sighed and laid back on the sofa.
@@ -1034,14 +1034,14 @@
   She would always cut herself off the second she realized she was about to say something trivial.
   Sometimes, her self-restraint would hit too late, and she would make a gesture like the one she was making now.
   It occurred to Aoko that the "ah" sound her cute little roommate made just now was different than the "wha" she blurted in times past.
-"Hmm? What is it?"
+"Hm? What is it?"
   Aoko turned down the volume on the TV, her intense eyes lit up like those of a mischievous cat.
 "It's nothing really, but..."
 "But what?"
   Alice looked away bashfully, not knowing if she should bring it up or not.
   It was times like these that her expression carried a real warmth and surprising charm.
   If he could see her in this moment, Alice's father would have to admit that her name suited her perfectly.
-"
+"...
 It's just that I saw something strange on my way home and wanted to tell someone about it."
   Aoko nodded, beckoning her to continue.
 "It's silly, really.
@@ -1062,7 +1062,7 @@
   Alice's gaze drifted at that.
 "Hmm... A delivery cat riding through neighborhoods in the evening. Sounds like something straight out of a fantasy story.
   ...Hey, what should we do for dinner tonight?
-  Speaking of delivery... maybe we should order in."
+  Speaking of delivery, maybe we should order in."
   Aoko loved getting takeout, and her faced glowed as she spoke.
   They had no hard rules for dinner, but if one of them was in the mood to cook, they made it a point to make enough for two.
   At the very worst, this meant entire weeks without dinner, but the two of them agreed that this was the system that worked best for them.
@@ -1070,7 +1070,7 @@
   Nights like this one were a common occurrence, much to the chagrin of the restaurants of Misaki Town.
   Delivering to the mansion meant coming all the way up to the top of this hill, the source of their disgruntlement.
 "It's still before eight, so we're good. I'm really in the mood for Kongetsu tonight. I haven't had their tsukimi soba in ages."
-  The hungry student council president took our their many menus and excitedly looked for anything that stood out.
+  The hungry student council president laid out a stack of take-out menus like she might fan a deck of cards, and excitedly scanned for anything that stood out.
 Alice casually responded without sparing so much as a glance.
 "Sorry, but I've already had dinner."
   With those words, Aoko froze.
@@ -1079,25 +1079,25 @@
   Incidentally, to counteract orders from the hilltop mansion, the restaurants had declared,
 "The minimum number of orders will be three, starting next year."
   Aoko and Alice were still in the dark to this fiendish change in direction.
-"T-Traitor!
-  Is that why you were late getting back?!
+"T-traitor!
+  Is that why you were late getting back!?
   Between the bus ride and the walk, the trip home takes only twenty minutes! I should have known something was up when you didn't get home before five o'clock!"
   Unfortunately for Aoko, she had been too out of it to even remember that she was the one who'd fallen asleep.
 "Talk about ice queen-I thought it was clear that if either of us got food, we would bring enough home for the other person!
-  Didn't I bring back something for you when I ate out last time?!"
+  Didn't I bring back something for you when I ate out last time!?"
   It was unknown how serious Aoko was being, but she was visibly angry.
   She had already woken up hungry that morning, and from the time she was called into school until now, she had consumed nothing but tea. It was a small miracle that her stomach was not growling.
   She knew it was her own fault, but she persisted, wanting to get revenge on Alice for scolding her earlier.
 "By 'last time' you mean...
   The time you went into the city and ate sushi but only came back with a plastic bag full of convenience store food? That time?"
   Aoko had kicked a hornet's nest.
-"S-So what? It was better than nothing, wasn't it?"
+"S-so what? It was better than nothing, wasn't it?"
 "There are times when you'd be better off saying nothing at all."
   Alice's icy gaze pierced right through her.
   Aoko had certainly crossed a line by going on and on about how the sushi circled around the restaurant while Alice ate her convenience store meal.
   But new things fascinated her, and she couldn't contain her curiosity towards the conveyer belt sushi shops that started popping up at the time. They were nothing short of miraculous.
   Even honesty can be a sin, given the right circumstances.
-"Fine. Fine. I get it. Does this at least mean we're even now?"
+"Fine. Fine, I get it. Does this at least mean we're even now?"
   Alice went back to her book without so much as recognizing the question.
   The fact that she did not confirm it made Aoko anxious.
 "Well, today has been a total disaster.
@@ -1115,7 +1115,7 @@
 "The cat gave me one of his leftover deliveries."
   And with that brief response, she left the room.
   Morning in the city moved incredibly fast.
-  It made one wonder if it was even a morning at all, with people so bright eyed and bushy tailed.
+  It made one wonder if it was even a morning at all, with people so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
 "..."
   The unfamiliar roar that awoke him reminded him of a rockslide.
   The identity of the monstrous sound was the engine of a motorcycle. Mr. Yoshida, his neighbor, was leaving for work.
@@ -1133,7 +1133,7 @@
   So too was it his duty to adjust to his new reality.
   As a distant relative of Soujyuro's father, Mr. Koga had taken Soujyuro in, even though the boy had been little more than a stranger in his life till that point.
   Mr. Koga had helped him get registered at school and find an apartment to lease.
-  Though he had insisted that Soujyuro handle his residence card and register his change of address by himself.
+  Though, he had insisted that Soujyuro handle his residence card and register his change of address by himself.
   This series of procedures proved exceedingly difficult for Soujyuro, but knowing that this was a part of his new city life, he did his best to complete them diligently.
 (While they may have a reputation for being a stickler for the rules, city offices aren't all that bad.)
   It was the first thing Soujyuro learned after beginning his life in the city.
@@ -1145,26 +1145,26 @@
   Even exercise like this offered lessons for Soujyuro to learn.
   Each passing person was a new face to look at.
   The old man who greeted him,
-  the young worker with his eyes to the ground,
+  the young worker with his eyes on the ground,
   and the girl on the bench, surrounded by birds...
   They were all unfamiliar sights to Soujyuro.
   Unaccustomed to the city, he labored to understand its rules.
-  Whether they were complex or simple,
-  or completely meaningless.
+  Whether they were complex, simple,
+  or completely meaningless...
   Compared to mountain life, which only dealt with nature, city life left one with way too many options.
-  You could argue that such an environment was toxic for Soujyuro.
+  One could argue that such an environment was toxic for Soujyuro.
   His life was a string of unsettling moments.
   But amongst it all, there were rules that he sincerely admired.
   For one, that the city revolved around various forms of profit and loss.
-  The fact that one only needed money to get bare essentials to survive the city was a comforting thought to Soujyuro.
+  The fact that one only needed money to get the bare essentials to survive the city was a comforting thought to Soujyuro.
 "Hey, not everything's that simple.
   Money is just a symbol. It's the other stuff that truly matters.
-  Money ain't that different from those free shoulder massage coupons people hand out, and it's not like the food you buy with a ten-thousand yen bill won't turn out bogus. Look, money can't buy you happiness, like, you know?"
+  Money ain't that different from those free shoulder massage coupons people hand out, and it's not like the food you buy with a ten-thousand yen bill won't turn out bogus. Look, money can't buy you happiness, you get me?"
 "Maybe."
-"'Maybe'?! Are you for real? Man, I can't believe you right now.
-  One day you're happy to break your back working a full day for a measly four-thousand yen, the next you're elbow-deep in dirty dishes saying, 'It's all about the money.' What's your major malfunction?"
+"'Maybe'!? Are you for real? Man, I can't believe you right now.
+  One day you're happy to break your back working a full day for a measly four thousand yen, the next you're elbow-deep in dirty dishes saying, 'It's all about the money.' What's your major malfunction?"
 "No, I think that the current system is kind of amazing. To be honest, I never realized how limited bartering can be.
-  Anyway, Kinomi-you're gonna drop that if you aren't careful."
+  Anyway, Kinomi--you're gonna drop that if you aren't careful."
 "Huh? Crap! Ooh, damn! That was close! If I break any more, it'll be my head next!
   Thanks for the save. So...what did you want to talk to me about? It's money, isn't it?"
 "Exactly. I learned my lesson the hard way, but now I know that it's better to have more money than less. That's why I'd like to work even more than I am now."
@@ -1172,7 +1172,7 @@
   Didn't I just how money can't buy happiness? Love can, but... Back right up. Why's the water so cold? Say, we should probably get paid more for washing dishes in the winter, huh?"
 "It's cold all right, but nothing I can't handle.
   Mountain water is so cold it hurts."
-"Yo, I didn't mean it was ice water, you doofus. That hard head of yours can be real annoying, you know that?
+"I didn't mean it was ice water, you hick. That thick skin of yours can be real annoying, you know that?
   For someone who couldn't even work a cash register four days ago, you sure got comfortable workin' for The Man. I guess money really is everything. The power of capitalism ain't nothing to mess with!"
 "Shut yer pie holes, part-timers! The door's right there if you wanna quit!
   I don't have the cash to waste on deadbeats!"
@@ -1207,14 +1207,14 @@
   The back of Kinomi's head exploded in pain with the impact of his boss's frying pan.
   Soujyuro was reminded of just how dangerous this town could be.
 "'I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you!' Yeah right! I'd like to see him try!
-  And what kind of boss says that anyway?! This is a restaurant, ain't it!? Well, maybe calling it that is too much!"
+  And what kind of boss says that anyway!? This is a restaurant, ain't it!? Well, maybe calling it that is too much!"
 "Is your head okay, Kinomi?"
 "Huh? Ah, it's nothing. People tell me I'm real tough. Especially my head.
   Anyway, avoid the dark, okay? You look like a sitting duck."
 "Thanks.
   By the way, is ten victims per year a lot?"
 "Don't know. It probably isn't a lot, but it totally ain't a few either.
-  The real scary shit is that they're still out there, somewhere, since they haven't been caught!
+  The real scary shit is that they're still out there, somewhere, since they haven't been caught!"
   He laughed cheerfully.
   Kinomi was probably trying to take the edge off of his story, but the noble intention of his laugh was completely lost on Soujyuro.
   His friendly warning was equally futile.
@@ -1232,7 +1232,7 @@
   and its desperate escape thereafter
   was unlike anything he had experienced in his life up to now.
   Most of the townsfolk would have seen the incident as unlucky, ominous, or even sinister, but Soujyuro just nodded and went about his business.
-  You understand...
+  You must understand...
   What might have been a first for him was surely an everyday occurrence for these city folk.
 "I'm home! Alice, you here yet?
   I got some stuff from the arcade while on the way home from church!
@@ -1293,9 +1293,9 @@
   You could search the world and never find a finer selection of chocolates.
   The brand was Sixpence Songs, apparently.
 "So, what was it about the mirror you wanted to talk about?
-  It's still in Misaki-mode, right? Not Mansion-mode?"
+  It's still in Misaki mode, right? Not mansion mode?"
 "Yes. The mansion can take care of itself for the time being, so I changed its target to Misaki City. ...Things have been cloudy there since yesterday.
-  Now I know for certain that with each passing day, the forces arrayed against us grow.
+  Now I know for certain that with each passing day, the forces arrayed against us grow."
 "You mean there's more of those things?"
 "There's the one who was captured, and I've witnessed two other suspicious types. One in the city and one in the woods outside of town."
 "Ugh. Is it too much to ask that you could be wrong, just this once?
@@ -1303,7 +1303,7 @@
 "...The one in the woods. I'm getting close to capturing it, but it knows it's being watched. It's not taking the bait."
 "I see...
 You wanna go after it tonight?"
-To go after it tonight...
+  To go after it tonight...
   One simple suggestion that would change the course of her life forever.
   It was no overstatement to say that this was a roll of the dice that would decide whether she had the moxie to survive the experience of jumping out of a plane with a torn parachute.
   Aoko swallowed her hesitation and fear with a little tea.
@@ -1323,7 +1323,7 @@
   Alice did not so much as look at Aoko as she explained her reasons.
   The scale of the enemy she would face that night...
   Her plans for Aoko...
-  For in only two days from now Aoko Aozaki would be reborn.
+  For in only two days from now, Aoko Aozaki would be reborn.
 "Fine. Whatever you say."
   Aoko finished her tea and stood up from her seat.
 "I guess I'm practicing, then.
@@ -1340,12 +1340,12 @@
   24 HOURS SINCE LAST UPDATE.
   RUNNING BACKUP... TRANSMITTING LOG...
   COMMENCING LOCAL SCAN...
-  ATMOSPHERIC ANALYSIS-
+  RUNNING ATMOSPHERIC ANALYSIS:
   NITROGEN: NOMINAL.
   OXYGEN: NOMINAL.
   ARGON: NOMINAL.
   CARBON DIOXIDE: NOMINAL.
-  THEORETICAL FIFTH ELEMENT: MULTIPLE ANOMALIES DETECTED.
+  FIFTH THEORETICAL FACTOR: MULTIPLE ANOMALIES DETECTED.
   LOCAL SPACE-TIME DISCREPANCY DETECTED.
   CONCLUSION: CONTACT, CLASS 1 THREAT.
   SHIFTING PERCEPTION RANGE FROM SUBJECTIVE TO OBJECTIVE...
@@ -1435,7 +1435,7 @@
             "We warned you!"
           "It's your fault for staying!"
   The girl halted her steps.
-  Racket from the accompanying voices died in turn.
+  The racket from the accompanying voices died in turn.
   The babbling brook suddenly sounded like a crackling fire.
   And then...
   Across the shallow stream, something appeared that should not exist in the city, much less these woods.
@@ -1505,8 +1505,8 @@
 "-, Ghh!"
   "Impossible!" its presence murmured three times.
   Not possible.
-Not possible.
-Not... possible?
+ Not possible.
+ Not... possible?
   Talking pigs were one thing.
   Even having one's arms chomped off was in the realm of occupational hazard.
   In an instant, the wood was enveloped in a dense wave of magical energy.
@@ -1565,7 +1565,7 @@
   He may have lost his mangled arms, but not the object of his malice.
   A Mystic Eye to pierce the heart of its victim.
   A Magic Circuit designed to stop a beating heart.
-  It was beautiful in its simplicity. At point blank-range, it was the equivalent of an unavoidable shotgun blast.
+  It was beautiful in its simplicity. At point-blank range, it was the equivalent of an unavoidable shotgun blast.
 "...?"
   But...
   Tragically, that eye was all he had.
@@ -1578,10 +1578,10 @@
   For the giant, the earth-shattering strike was akin to the act of shooing away an insect.
   Its green, verdant veins pulsed.
   Oaken bark covered its body, hardened sufficiently over centuries to repel even a chainsaw.
-  On its forehead, inscribed in all manner of colors, was the word "emeth," though judging from its misspelling the inscription was purely decorative.
+  On its forehead, inscribed in all manner of colors, was the word "emeth," though judging from its misspelling, the inscription was purely decorative.
   The Thames Troll.
   It also went by the moniker Falling Down.
-  Or alternatively the Great Bridge.
+  Or alternatively, the Great Bridge.
   Admired in different forms, it was the first of four miracles.
 "Thames, please take care of the other one."
   The giant responded to the girl's words.
@@ -1603,14 +1603,14 @@
   well past the limit of any bipedal creature.
   After securing a distance of several miles, he turned around to confirm his safety.
   ...There was no sign of pursuit.
-  His crescent-shaped mouth-nay, eye-slackened in relief.
+  His crescent-shaped mouth―nay, eye―slackened in relief.
   And then...
 "-?"
   After facing forward once more, he looked up to lock eyes with his doom.
                                 
 London Bridge is broken down,
-                                Broken down,broken down...
-  In the distance he could hear the dark rhymes of Mother Goose.
+                                Broken down, broken down...
+  In the distance, he could hear the dark rhymes of Mother Goose.
   Countless vines extended from the ground.
   They formed into a monstrosity that conjured up images of an arched bridge, something resembling a giant arm.
                                 
@@ -1623,13 +1623,13 @@
   ENDING SESSION...
   AAAH. OH, MASTER. PRESERVE ME FROM-
 "...I think we're about done here. Well done, Thames. You can return now.
-  Hopefully our next encounter will be more worth our time."
+  Hopefully, our next encounter will be more worth our time."
   The girl turned on her heel.
   The invaders who had set up shop in the woods were eliminated.
   She had no interest in whether they had been good or evil, nor how many victims they had claimed.
   The shackles of civic society held no sway over her.
   This was the way of a pure-blooded witch, the way of a Meinster.
-"Hey, what about us?! What about us?!"
+"Hey, what about us!? What about us!?"
 "Help me get this arm outta my teeth!"
 "We really shouldn't move while we're eating."
 "Don't tell us you don't need pigs that can't fly!"
@@ -1661,12 +1661,12 @@
 "Please, even the most airheaded chicks know better than to accept an invite from your dumb ass. Crash and burn all you like, but don't drag Sono-G into the fallout, will you?"
 "Well excuse me, Your Majesty. You're one to talk!
   Word to the wise, Sizuki. Tsukiji's heart is as black as they come.
-  In his mind he's like... you know those labels you use to separate the trash? This dude uses them to label people-you're either useful to him or you ain't."
+  In his mind he's like... you know those labels you use to separate the trash? This dude uses them to label people―you're either useful to him or you ain't."
 "Yeah, I figured that out.
   ...Speaking of which, I know this is a bit out of the blue, but what do you think about Kinomi, Tobimaru?"
 "Hmm... Well you know how the country's going to stop collecting oversized scrap for free soon, since it costs too much to dispose of? That's because of people like him."
 "What kinda nonsense is that? Who throws out big stuff like cabinets when you can make good money off of them?!
-  The future is grab-and-go, you know. Just look how rad those disposable cameras you can buy at convenience stores are. What they call it, something about growing consumption culture and all that, I'm just-"
+  The future is grab-and-go, you know. Just look how rad those disposable cameras you can buy at convenience stores are. Looks like the times have finally caught up with my idea of consumer culture―"
 "So, Kinomi's working this weekend.
 What about you, Tobimaru?"
 "My time is coming, just watch!"
@@ -1694,16 +1694,16 @@
   As long as she isn't boring, anyway. Maybe if she were a Hollywood producer, or some famous English singer, or-"
 "Laaame. If you're going that far, at least make her a babe from Mars."
 "Attention, Class 2-C. This is an announcement from Mr. Yamasiro:
-Mr. Yamasiro is currently occupied, and is unable to attend homeroom. Please make your way home.
+Mr. Yamasiro is currently occupied and unable to attend homeroom. Please make your way home.
   This concludes all announcements for the day."
-"...The hell? Ever since Yamasiro bought that new car, he's been a real punk! Oughtta find out what this dime sounds like when scraping up a new Serbia."
+"...The hell? Ever since Yamasiro bought that new car, he's been a real punk! Maybe I'll see what sound this dime makes against the door of a new Serbia!"
 "Hold it, hotshot. Just put gum in the keyhole. Teachers get paid peanuts, man."
   The two frenemies returned to the classroom, complaining all the while,
   their concern for their mutual friend summoned to the faculty office completely out of mind.
 "I don't agree. The school allows for students to hold part-time jobs.
   According to school regulations, a job at a workplace authorized by the school is recommended as a social experience."
 "That's true, but in his case it's a matter of going too far.
-What if, let's suppose, he were working somewhere without permission, somewhere that might be violating the Labor Standards Law. That would spell trouble for both the school and for him."
+What if, let's suppose, he were working somewhere without permission, somewhere that might be violating the Labor Standards Law? That would spell trouble for both the school and for him."
   The volatile tension between the ruthless student council president and the easygoing modern language teacher permeated the room.
   Praying to be spared from the impending confrontation, the other teachers hurriedly relocated to the meeting room.
   By the time Mr. Yamasiro noticed this, the only other person in the room was the student council president, Aoko Aozaki.
@@ -1714,7 +1714,7 @@
   And if you are still concerned about unauthorized workplaces, please first revise the rule that limits each student to only one."
   After hearing her out and realizing there was no way she would back down, Mr. Yamasiro hung his head.
   This was supposed to be easy.
-The plan was to call in the student rumored to be working multiple jobs, confirm whether the rumor was true, and if so, give him a warning and some guidance, then head to lunch with the knowledge that all was right with the world.
+  The plan was to call in the student rumored to be working multiple jobs, confirm whether the rumor was true, and if so, give him a warning and some guidance, then head to lunch with the knowledge that all was right with the world.
   The student council president, who was coincidentally in the faculty room at the time, had heard the entire issue and decided to call out this injustice.
   As far as Mr. Yamasiro was concerned, she was in the right, and he was well aware of the aforementioned student's situation.
   Personally, he would have liked to help, but among the faculty he was just the new kid on the block.
@@ -1732,7 +1732,7 @@
   Mr. Yamasiro scratched his head, but his eyes were smiling gleefully.
   He had figured out the student council president's objective.
 "So, I'll scratch your back, and you'll scratch mine. Is that it?
-  Work conducted on the church's behalf is done on a voluntary basis, but still compensated in some form. And it's officially recognized by the school as a form of social study."
+  Work conducted on the church's behalf is done on a voluntary basis, but still compensated in some form. And it's officially recognized by the school as a form of social study.
   The vice principal will be overjoyed to have a participant, and-"
 "And in the event that said volunteer is already employed somewhere else, the school's permission will be extended to both.
   Considering the precedent, I find this to be a good compromise."
@@ -1746,12 +1746,12 @@
 I'm going to go ahead and call in Sizuki now, so I'll need you to stay and look after him properly."
 "...What?"
   The girl's cool eyes narrowed.
-  Unable to process what she just heard, her expression turned to a scowl.
+  Unable to process what she had just heard, her expression turned to a scowl.
 "If we're looking for volunteers, two is better than one, right?
   Plus, knowing that you are following up on this would give me great peace of mind."
-"But, sir, I don't-"
+"But, sir, I don't―"
 "Hello, broadcasting room? Please put out an announcement asking for Class 2-C student Soujyuro Sizuki to report to Mr. Yamasiro in the staff room immediately."
-"No sir, like I was about to say-"
+"No, like I was about to say―"
 "Oh, this is perfect! And to think that the source of my headache would go away, too. Today's my lucky day!
   Ms. Aozaki, what would I do without your kindness? Wait a second... He's not your type, is he? ...Oh, broadcasting room? Please add the following: 'The student council president is eagerly awaiting-'"
 "Mr. Yamasirooo!"
@@ -1782,18 +1782,18 @@
   This was partly because, surprisingly, Soujyuro had become well-accustomed to the town.
   Which restaurants were good... Which shortcuts to use in a rush...
   And why the nearby bicycle shop was better than the department store by the station if you wanted to buy a bicycle... things a local would know.
-  But the other reason was because, it had dawned on Aoko how the two of them conversing might look to passersby.
+  But the other reason was that it had dawned on Aoko how the two of them conversing might look to passersby.
 "On a different topic, do you mind telling me what kind of work we'll be doing today?"
   From here on, volunteering at the church meant that the school would tolerate his multiple jobs.
   Soujyuro had quickly agreed to the tempting offer, nodding like a bobblehead. But, as was typical for him, he had failed to consider the content of the proposal.
-"...Somehow I just knew you had no idea what we're going to be doing today.
+"...Somehow, I just knew you had no idea what we're going to be doing today.
   Is this your first time going to Aida Church?"
 "This is my second time. The last time was because I was outside admiring the strange architecture, and then a person inside gave me some free candy."
   He pondered with all sincerity how exactly a church worked.
   His contemplative posture made him appear the part of the philosopher, but after all his thinking, he concluded,
 "I guess they start taking your money on your second visit?"
   ...Such was the extent of Soujyuro's concerns.
-"...Normally the church only gives candy out to children, you know."
+"...Normally, the church only gives candy out to children, you know."
   Aoko sighed at the lost little lamb.
 "So who did you end up meeting? The priest? One of the sisters?"
 "A very beautiful woman, as it happens."
@@ -1809,8 +1809,8 @@
   Incidentally, located next to it was the Misaki City General Hospital.
   From Aoko's perspective, it seemed awfully suspicious for the church to take up residence next to the location in the city where the most lives were lost, though the only two who were aware of this opinion were her roommate, Alice Kuonji, and the priest.
 "Are you a regular at this place?"
-"Me? Not in the slightest. My father and grandfather had a long history with it, but if I could, I'd go back in time and cut all of our ties to this place."
-  I had to come here every day in elementary school to help out and, boy, did that ever rub me the wrong way."
+"Me? Not in the slightest. My father and grandfather had a long history with it, but if I could, I'd go back in time and cut all of our ties to this place.
+  I had to come here every day in elementary school to help out, and boy, did that ever rub me the wrong way."
   The more Aoko spoke, the more twisted her expression became.
   Recalling this made her want to grab it by the proverbial collar, give it the proverbial one-arm judo back throw, smash its proverbial head into the proverbial ground, and kick the proverbial living daylights out of its defenseless proverbial torso.
   Such was her so-called trauma that if it were anthropomorphized, it would take more than a five-round beating to satisfy her thirst for vengeance.
@@ -1819,7 +1819,7 @@
   Perhaps attracted by the noisy murder of crows outside the church,
  a woman in a nun's habit emerged from the front entrance.
 "Excuse me, do you have business with the church today?
-  I'm afraid this church does not associate with criminals, so if you would be so kind as to consider coming another day, or perhaps returning once you have repented of your sinful ways and paid for your crimes to society, you can―"
+  I'm afraid this church does not associate with criminals, so if you would be so kind as to consider coming another day, or perhaps return once you have repented of your sinful ways and paid for your crimes to society, you can―"
 "It's Aoko Aozaki, Sister Yuika."
 "Well, if it isn't Aoko.
   What a lovely surprise. It's been such a long time since you've visited."
@@ -1828,8 +1828,8 @@
 And who knows how long it'll be until the next time."
 "Yes. I'm almost sad to see you grow up so fast. Your presence has become so menacing, you hardly resemble the virtuous girl I remember so well."
   On the surface, the two exchanged congenial greetings.
-  Unable to read between the lines, all Soujyuro could see was two good friends.
-"He and I are this month's volunteers."
+  Unable to read between the lines, all Soujyuro could see were two good friends.
+"He and I are this month's volunteers.
   For the beloved Aida Church, it would be our pleasure to be working from exactly ten to three, and not a minute more."
 "Well, as you know we are reaching the end times, but your spirit of service is welcome.
   The house of the Lord is open to all who might enter, even those with wickedness in their hearts."
@@ -1855,11 +1855,11 @@
   Mr. Sizuki, you will be outside.
 I will need your help cleaning the areas I can't reach."
 "One question. Ritsuka isn't in the kitchen, is she? You can't make me go in there if she is."
-"Don't worry, Ritsuka is not here right now. There's no need to  hold back on her account."
+"Don't worry―Ritsuka is not here right now. There's no need to hold back on her account."
   With a dismissive wave, Aoko headed toward the door in the back of the worship hall.
   As she had indicated, she was quite accustomed to this church.
 "This way please, Mr. Sizuki.
-  We will start with the storeroom. I'd like to ask you to carry the cleaning supplies.
+  We will start with the storeroom. I'd like to ask you to carry the cleaning supplies."
   The work entrusted to Soujyuro did not require any particular skill. It was window cleaning at its most standard.
 "Should I clean all of the windows?"
 "Yes. Start with a wet rag, then wipe with a dry rag, then use the cleaning spray. Is the ladder tall enough?"
@@ -1872,9 +1872,9 @@
   The day's weather was a disappointment once again.
   It had not gone so far as to rain, but was too overcast to enjoy the sun.
   He leaned against the tall ladder and, beginning with a window about five yards from the ground, quietly cleaned.
-  Soujyuro was the never the kind of person to mind physical labor. In fact, if there had been a blue sky, this might have been a perfect day off to him.
+  Soujyuro was never the kind of person to mind physical labor. In fact, if there had been a blue sky, this might have been a perfect day off to him.
   By the time he finished his third or fourth window, he felt very relaxed and began to whistle.
-  Though 15 feet was an intimidating height, it provided for a wonderful view at the same time.
+  Though 15 feet was an intimidating height, it provided a wonderful view at the same time.
   Turning toward the town gave Soujyuro a clear view of the tree-topped hill that had previously caught his eye.
 "So there really is a house in the woods."
   The hill and the woods just outside of town.
@@ -1889,7 +1889,7 @@
   She looked to be in her late twenties.
   Despite the cold, she was not wearing a coat. She had no purse either, which was rather strange as a woman and her purse were never far apart. Not that Soujyuro knew this truth quite yet.
   Based on the fact that none of this seemed to apply to her, one could have easily surmised that she was herself a little "loosey-goosey."
-A few cards short of a full deck, one might also say.
+ A few cards short of a full deck, one might also say.
 "Oh, I got it!
   Are you that part-timer from Misaki High? Wow, high schoolers these days really are something. You put the pros to shame!"
   The girl looked up in admiration to Soujyuro, as he stood atop his ladder.
@@ -1901,7 +1901,7 @@
   As Soujyuro anticipated, the girl began to clean without waiting for his approval.
 "So I was walking by the church, and I saw a figure stuck to the window. 'A daylight burglary seems pretty bold,' I thought, but my curiosity got the best of me.
   Imagine my surprise when I saw such a cute boy working as diligently as a window wiping expert. You can't blame a girl for wanting to help out after seeing that, can you?"
-  Wiping the window next to Soujyuro, the girl continued to cheerfully chatter.
+  Wiping the window next to Soujyuro, the girl continued to chatter cheerfully.
   Although this was all kinds of suspicious, Soujyuro politely followed her lead, nodding and agreeing as she spoke.
   Perhaps it was an instinctive camaraderie.
   He sensed this girl was just like him, always getting the short end of the stick when it came to menial work.
@@ -1912,7 +1912,7 @@
 "All the time, silly! You work at that restaurant, Uotatsu, right? I was there several times just this week!
   I'm... um... Oh, right.
 I'm Hanazawa. What's your name?"
-  Hanazawa took a quick glance at the flower bed below in the middle of her introduction then gave him a friendly laugh.
+  Hanazawa took a quick glance at the flower bed below in the middle of her introduction, then gave him a friendly laugh.
   Soujyuro's self-introduction, however, was his usual brand of awkward.
 "Soujyuro, huh? ...Your name's cute, in an old-fashioned kind of way.
   The 'jyu' in your name means 'ten,' right? Names with numbers in them are so Japanese, don't you think? ...Do you know the priest and sisters here? Eiri and Yuika... Their names sound so foreign."
@@ -1928,9 +1928,9 @@
 "Not necessarily.
   Don't they say he who does not work, doesn't eat?"
 "Wow, Soujyuro. You're pretty mature for your age.
-  When I was a student I was completely absorbed in work, too, so I understand how difficult things must be for you."
+  When I was a student, I was completely absorbed in work, too, so I understand how difficult things must be for you."
 "Oh. You lived by yourself as well, Ms. Hanazawa?"
-"Yeah. I studied abroad over my parents' objections. I went to the same school as a friend and we roomed together to save money, but food wasn't free, as you know.
+"Yeah. I studied abroad over my parents' objections. I went to the same school as a friend, and we roomed together to save money. But food wasn't free, as you know.
   That said, I'm the kind of person who doesn't mind a bit of elbow grease. Looking back on it now, my time at school and work was a great memory."
 "..."
   Soujyuro nodded agreeably.
@@ -1949,7 +1949,7 @@
   Oh, and they give out free bread and wine."
 "For free?"
 "Sure! I mean, I've heard rich people just donate a bunch of money anyway.
-  Oh yeah, one more thing, and this is the most important wrinkle-their income isn't taxed. Saving souls is tough work, but it's no-risk high-reward if you've got a solid business plan."
+  Oh yeah, one more thing, and this is the most important wrinkle--their income isn't taxed. Saving souls is tough work, but it's zero-risk high-reward if you've got a solid business plan."
 "Is that so... I don't really follow, but are you saying that that it's a good place to come when you're in trouble?"
 "Umm... I wouldn't recommend that.
   I think it would be better to visit once a month or so, just for a little peace of mind."
@@ -1957,7 +1957,7 @@
   Whistling as they went, they shined up one window. Then another. Then another.
 "Oh yeah, one more question.
   What are those woods way over there?"
-"Woods, what woods? You mean the woods on the mountain?"
+"Woods? On the mountain, you mean?"
 "Well, yeah, but that's really more of a hill than a mountain."
   As someone raised in the countryside, Soujyuro's pride would not allow for a mound of dirt to be called a mountain.
 "You think so? Any incline that takes energy to climb is a mountain in my book. But if you say so..."
@@ -1983,7 +1983,7 @@
   I hardly recognize these windows, considering how filthy they were before!
   Why don't we head to a café somewhere and get something to drink? I'll treat you as a reward for all your
 ―"
-"Ms. Hanazawa? You were in the middle of saying so―"
+"Ms. Hanazawa? You were in the middle of saying som―"
 "Oh, sorry, I just remembered some urgent business I need to attend to.
   Catch you later! Ciao!"
   By the time Soujyuro, who had started putting away the ladder, turned around, he was only able to catch a glimpse of the girl's figure dashing toward the street at lightning speed.
@@ -2042,7 +2042,7 @@
   Aoko had to stifle her laughter.
   She knew it would be rude to Soujyuro to burst out laughing, but the remark tickled her funny bone.
 "No, it's not like that.
-  It's simple, really. Even back when it first opened, it was always packed with people, and I just never had the time to go. If it were a problem that could be solved with money, I would go right now.
+  It's simple, really. Even back when it first opened, it was always packed with people, and I just never had the time to go. If it were a problem that could be solved with money, I would go right now."
   Aoko showed Soujyuro the envelope that contained the pay from the church.
   There was nothing sinister about her remark and gesture, but the fact that she did not jump at the chance to go made Soujyuro sad.
 "Then why don't we go sometime?"
@@ -2095,7 +2095,7 @@
   Entering places that must not be entered...
   Seeing things that must not be seen...
   Breaking a law had consequences; someone would come to exact justice for the law that was broken.
-  The result of all this, was that the safest way to survive the city was not to stick your nose in the affairs of others.
+  The result of all this was that the safest way to survive the city was not to stick your nose in the affairs of others.
   When the people who cared about Soujyuro told him to "stay away," they probably meant, "if you don't, nobody will be able to help you."
 "Oh crap, I almost took another shortcut."
   No matter how much of a nuisance these obstacles were, one could not just climb over a neighbor's fence, even when one's apartment was just the other side.
@@ -2115,7 +2115,7 @@
   The same misgivings since his first night continued to haunt him.
 "..."
   His eyelids fell shut.
-  Although he was fraught with worry, Soujyuro's body felt the fatigue from his work and studies, and thus, he fell fast sleep.
+  Although he was fraught with worry, Soujyuro's body felt the fatigue from his work and studies, and thus, he fell fast asleep.
 "The city is really strange,
   but a pretty easy place to live, once you get the hang of it."
   Soujyuro sighed listlessly.
@@ -2224,13 +2224,13 @@
 "Don't mind them. If you get involved with every idiot who invites you to do something, you'll mess up your whole life. It's okay to turn them down, you know.
   And you guys... Stop trying to lead this good soul over to the dark side!"
   An inappropriately loud voice echoed throughout the classroom from behind him.
-"Vice-president."
+"Vice president."
   Soujyuro turned around to see a boy about a head taller than him.
   His long hair, while unkempt, had been brushed back, giving it an appealingly windswept look.
   His attractive features belied the contempt for the classroom his eyes carried.
   Unlike the perpetually dopey-looking Soujyuro, he was an extremely attractive boy, capable of captivating anyone who so much as glanced at him.
   In most cases, such a boy's presence would be met with awe and respect. However...
-"Oh look! Our mighty vice-president has graciously decided to pay us a visit!"
+"Oh look! Our mighty vice president has graciously decided to pay us a visit!"
 "I thought you were going to take up residence in the cafeteria so you wouldn't have to see our stupid faces anymore!"
 "Hehehe, have you lost your way, Your Highness? You're slumming where the commoners eat gruel from their troughs. Shouldn't you be sipping tea with the babes from Class A?"
 "Why don't you leave Sizuki alone, huh? First Lady Aoko has it in for him, now His Highness too! What could he have done to have earned the attention of such royalty?"
@@ -2240,7 +2240,7 @@
 "..."
   They continued to give him a hard time.
   Soujyuro could not help but feel sorry for him.
-  The class vice-president, on the other hand, showed absolutely no reaction whatsoever.
+  The class vice president, on the other hand, showed absolutely no reaction whatsoever.
   He glared at them with a bored look and simply raised his voice.
 "You freaks should get some new material.
   Why don't you spend your time more productively for once? Like helping with the Special Winter Cleaning Team.
@@ -2264,19 +2264,19 @@
 "Hold on, Soujyuro. You're with me."
   The hand on his shoulder held him in place.
 "Jeez, who does the student council think they are, anyway? Barging into our classroom to lecture us on table manners!"
-  Kinomi cursed him under his breath to his friends the second the vice-president turned to go.
+  Kinomi cursed him under his breath to his friends the second the vice president turned to go.
 "What was that, Kinomi? Oh! You wanna become our second volunteer? Perfect! I'll make it the best winter vacation you've ever had!"
-  The vice-president must have heard everything Kinomi said, because he gave a thumbs up before figuratively jabbing it in his eye.
+  The vice president must have heard everything Kinomi said, because he gave a thumbs up before figuratively jabbing it in his eye.
 "Yo, is this guy for real?
   This is voluntary, isn't it? It ain't voluntary if you gotta force people to do it! Am I right?!"
   The problem child of Class C laughed merrily.
 "That was yesterday.
   The school has since accepted the president's proposal that council members be able to forcibly enlist students for participation.
-  And recommendations by the president and vice-president are ironclad. Refusing them means breaking school rules in addition to facing Aozaki's wrath, which, let me tell you now, I won't be able to stop."
+  And recommendations by the president and vice president are ironclad. Refusing them means breaking school rules in addition to facing Aozaki's wrath, which, let me tell you now, I won't be able to stop."
 "Whaaat!? You're hanging me by my balls here! This is extortion, or blackmail, or something!"
-  Kinomi's terrified shrieking continued behind them as the vice-president and Soujyuro left the classroom.
+  Kinomi's terrified shrieking continued behind them as the vice president and Soujyuro left the classroom.
 "What am I going to do with you, Soujyuro?"
-"With me? Aren't you busy with other things, vice-president?"
+"With me? Aren't you busy with other things, vice president?"
   The two entered the empty student council room.
   Misaki High's student council had the use of two rooms.
   One was a large office specifically made for the student council.
@@ -2285,7 +2285,7 @@
   For this reason, it served more as a private refuge to the student council.
   The two students sat across from one another.
   Tobimaru Tsukiji.
-  He was the son of the chairman of Misaki High School and the vice-president of its school council.
+  He was the son of the chairman of Misaki High School and the vice president of its school council.
   Like Soujyuro, he was in his second year, and first met the transfer student a week earlier when the task of looking after him was dumped onto the student council.
 "I told you to stop calling me that. People may as well call me the president's dog, the shit I have to take from her."
   As self-deprecating as his words were, he hardly seemed dissatisfied with the arrangement.
@@ -2293,9 +2293,9 @@
   The hundred-calorie energy bar sacrificed flavor for efficacy, but somehow not enough to prevent him gnawing on it like a piece of jerky.
 "I see what you're saying, Tobimaru, but being a dog isn't exactly a good thing."
   Soujyuro sat in the chair with a concerned look on his face.
-"Huh? I didn't catch that. Something about dogs?"
+"Huh? What's wrong with dogs?"
 "Dogs aren't good. I mean, it's a bad comparison in the first place, but dogs are way scarier."
-"Huh? You grew up in the mountains, and you're still afraid of dogs?"
+"You grew up in the mountains, and you're still afraid of dogs?"
 "I'm afraid of most animals, but dogs are in a class of their own.
   A pack of wild dogs is particularly terrifying.
   They're as tenacious as they are fast.
@@ -2310,7 +2310,7 @@
   Soujyuro was always confounded by phrasing that could be interpreted in multiple ways; euphemisms and subtle sarcasm were often lost on him.
   It was only on rare occasions, like this one, that he chose to confirm what was being said.
   Tobimaru had come to suspect that Soujyuro had a very black-and-white way of seeing things.
-"Say, does that hard chunk of flour-looking thing taste any good?"
+"Say, does that hard chunk of flour-looking stuff taste any good?"
   Soujyuro stared at the energy bar with a curious look on his face.
 "It's not meant to taste good. You can try it if you want.
   People shouldn't hold back when it comes to the three base desires."
@@ -2330,20 +2330,20 @@
   He took a bite from the rice ball to steer himself away from such thoughts.
   Though now cold, the rice had managed to maintain its freshness, startling Tobimaru.
 "...Huh.  
-Wait a sec, I'm the one that has your back, you know that right? Aozaki told me you were too annoying to deal with!
+Wait a sec, I'm the one that has your back, you know that right? Aozaki told me you were too annoying to deal with!"
 "Did I say something to upset you?"
 "Don't you get it? I'm the only one helping you keep your head above water, while Aozaki sits in the student council room digging up dirt on other students!
   I'm the one who gets lumbered with the crap jobs, while she gets to-"
   Tobimaru stopped himself, realizing how ridiculous he sounded. Soujyuro, rightly so, knew it was nothing to get this upset over.
 "Well, whatever. I'm only here 'cause she told me to be.
   Do you know?
-  Do you know why she lumbered me with you?"
-"Because you're the vice-president?"
+  Do you know why she stuck me with you?"
+"Because you're the vice president?"
   Tobimaru's handsome face went dark.
-"Do you really think it's normal for a student council vice-president to waste all of his time on a single transfer student?
+"Do you really think it's normal for a student council vice president to waste all of his time on a single transfer student?
   Ugh, whatever, man. Try asking her directly if you get the chance. You'll learn who she really is."
   He snatched another bite of the rice ball while grumbling under his breath.
-  There it was again. Rice grains that were just dry enough to be fresh and tender in the mouth-a morsel that betrayed its humble description, which must have been delicately molded by a master chef rather than haphazardly clumped into a ball...
+  There it was again. Rice grains that were just dry enough to be fresh and tender in the mouth; a morsel that betrayed its humble description, which must have been delicately molded by a master chef rather than haphazardly clumped into a ball...
 "Just the right amount of salt, and the subtlest of soy sauce notes coming from the center, it...
  It doesn't just whet your appetite, it stimulates the desire centers of your brain and-
  ...Oh wow."
@@ -2352,15 +2352,15 @@
   Hey, Sono-G, what's this filling, anyway?"
   It was only natural to inquire about the unexpectedly delicious bite.
   He had been nibbling around the edges and had not yet reached its center.
-"Oh, right. That would be grasshopper."
+"Oh, that would be grasshopper."
 "No way!"
-  The vice-president choked on his cough.
+  The vice president choked on his cough.
   He had assumed that Soujyuro would prefer earthy ingredients instead of seafood on account of his mountain life, but he never expected he would use grasshoppers.
 "Damn it! You should have warned me first, Soujyuro! ...But man, was that delicious!"
 "Oh. I was just joking."
   They locked eyes for a moment.
 "It's salmon. I would never eat grasshopper."
-"O-Oh, right. Yeah. I knew that.
+"O-oh, right. Yeah. I knew that.
   Of course it wouldn't be grasshopper."
 "Yeah. I mean, you can't find fresh grasshoppers in this city to begin with."
 "..."
@@ -2373,7 +2373,7 @@
 "..."
   Soujyuro continued chewing.
   The country boy's silent protest said all that needed to be said.
-  The vice-president suddenly looked like he had been struck by lightning.
+  The vice president suddenly looked like he had been struck by lightning.
 "What the... Don't tell me you've fallen for Aozaki!
   You have, haven't you? ...Hey! I asked you a question, dammit!"
   Tobimaru flew out of his chair and violently shook Soujyuro by the shoulders.
@@ -2407,7 +2407,7 @@
   ...Maybe he was a little bit nuts. It's hard to see it any other way at this point."
   Incidentally, Tobimaru decided to gloss over the fact that this student was also the former student council president.
 "But he didn't keep it up only at school. Later he started following her home.
-That must have been the last straw, because Aozaki wigged out. She sent him packing in ways I'm not comfortable repeating out loud."
+ That must have been the last straw, because Aozaki wigged out. She sent him packing in ways I'm not comfortable repeating out loud."
 "The conclusion? The student didn't just request a transfer, he tucked tail and left Misaki completely. Aozaki was sentenced to a month of house arrest.
   It came to be known as the Bloody Town Hall Incident.
   She could tell you more about it than I can... but I wouldn't recommend asking her. Ask the school newspaper editor instead. She loves a bit of gossip."
@@ -2453,25 +2453,25 @@
 "After all that, you just like her for her looks? Listen to yourself, Soujyuro!"
 "What's wrong with appreciating beauty?
   I don't think there is anything wrong with judging someone by the physical appearance they worked hard to create."
-"Err..."
+"Hrm."
   That sounded like a sophism to Tobimaru, but he had no counterpoint to offer.
 "All right. I get it. I'll let it go. It's none of my business who you go after anyway."
   Now...
-  About the one major thing that Tobimaru had been mistaken about this whole conversation.
+  Tobimaru was mistaken about one major point during this whole conversation.
   Namely, that Soujyuro was not head-over-heels in love with Aoko and hoped to go steady with her. He merely liked her as a person.
   Nobody could have foreseen the massive calamity that would be caused by this simple misunderstanding.
 "I've just got one piece of advice for you, Soujyuro.
-Just because Aozaki fights with someone doesn't mean she hates them, and just because she's nice to someone doesn't mean she likes them.
+  Just because Aozaki fights with someone doesn't mean she hates them, and just because she's nice to someone doesn't mean she likes them.
  I'm a prime example of that."
   He spoke with a pained sigh as if opening old wounds from the past.
 "I see.
  What happened?"
 "Long story short, she used to be really full of herself, and I once tried to hit her.
   It happened last summer. I'd already been working with her in the student council for a year at that point and saw her more like a fellow soldier in the trenches than as a girl.
-  One day, I lost my temper and I took a swing at her. I like to think I've got a mean right hook, and I slugged her pretty good, so I thought I won that round.
+  One day, I lost my temper and I took a swing at her. I like to think I've got a mean right hook, and I slugged her pretty good, so I thought I won that round."
   He had a distant look in his eyes as his words trailed off.
 "The next day, when I came to the student council room, I thought she'd be spoiling for a fight, but she was the same as always.
-  And since then, we've simply continued working together as president and vice-president."
+  And since then, we've simply continued working together as president and vice president."
   Soujyuro sighed at his story.
   He then said, with absolute confidence,
 "So, you just wanted to brag about how close you two are?"
@@ -2482,8 +2482,8 @@
 I'm telling you that from that day forward I could never see her again as a woman!"
 "Oh, I was mistaken?"
   A look of disappointment flittered across Soujyuro's face. 
-  Tobimaru revised his opinion of him. Soujyuro was something of a simpleton, but there was something more about him that Tobimaru could not quite place.
-"Just take it from me-her standards are anything but normal.
+  Tobimaru revised his opinion: Soujyuro was something of a simpleton, but there was a quality to him that Tobimaru could not quite place.
+"Just take it from me―her standards are anything but normal.
   She won't like you for being nice to her, and she won't hate you for being mean to her. That's the kind of princess she is."
   Soujyuro answered that he would keep it in mind, as he looked to the clock.
   They had been talking for a while, and lunch was almost over.
@@ -2493,7 +2493,7 @@
   Why had Tobimaru even brought him here in the first place? Soujyuro tilted his head in wonder but shook it off to deal with the more pressing matters at hand.
 "Could you stay a little longer?
   There's something I wanted to ask you."
-"Yes?"
+"?"
   Tobimaru sat up straight, having never seen Soujyuro's face look so serious before.
   Soujyuro set aside his rice ball and cleared his throat.
 "It's about something that happened yesterday."
@@ -2515,7 +2515,7 @@
 "Wait, me? Umm, Sizuki left with His Highness Tobimaru a while ago."
   The boy was shocked that she actually knew his name.
   One might think that the reason students referred to Tobimaru Tsukiji by a royal title was because he was the chairman's son, but it was because he actually acted like royalty.
-  In fact, the vice-president was said to have taken a liking to the title.
+  In fact, the vice president was said to have taken a liking to the title.
 "He's with Tobimaru? Are those two friends or something?"
   She seemed surprised.
   The class seemed surprised at her surprise.
@@ -2603,7 +2603,7 @@
 "I'm jealous that you can just skip class whenever you want.
   I would have thought you were a stickler for the rules."
 "How many times do I have to tell you?! It's not skipping when I've got special permission!"
-  The vice-president angrily defended himself as he stood up.
+  The vice president angrily defended himself as he stood up.
   The transfer student merely gazed at him, unfazed.
 "Hey! You're not honestly implying you still don't understand after all that, are you?!
   Oh well. Just sit down and listen, Sono-G.
@@ -2624,10 +2624,10 @@
   And it also marked the abrupt end to Tobimaru Tsukiji's reign there.
 "...No, I just meant that our dreams are something we take hold of ourselves."
 "Really. Then why not spend more time on that than this pathetic display.
-  I could hear you all the way from the hallway, Mr. Vice-President."
+  I could hear you all the way from the hallway, Mr. Vice President."
   Not missing a beat, Aoko Aozaki stepped inside the room.
   Her dark hair was slightly disheveled as if she had been running.
-  Her gaze missed the sitting Soujyuro entirely and was focused completely on the ranting vice-president.
+  Her gaze missed the sitting Soujyuro entirely and was focused completely on the ranting vice president.
 "Good luck, Tobimaru."
   Soujyuro quietly got up to head back to his classroom.
 "...That's cold, man."
@@ -2671,9 +2671,9 @@
 "Whatever works for you, Sizuki."
   He did his best to force a smile before leaving the student council room.
    While watching the events play out, Tobimaru found himself deeply impressed with Soujyuro.
-  He could tell from Aoko's behavior that she was trying to get a rise out of Soujyuro. Soujyuro, on the other hand, was none the wiser to what Aoko was doing so he simply went about his way.
+  He could tell from Aoko's behavior that she was trying to get a rise out of Soujyuro. Soujyuro, on the other hand, didn't react. Heedless of what Aoko was doing, he simply went on his way.
   To Tobimaru, it was hard to believe that Soujyuro had not taken offense.
-  All he observed was the performance of a lifetime in Soujyuro as he maintained a poker face.
+  From his point of view, Soujyuro's poker face had been the performance of a lifetime.
 "The kid has some balls, huh, president?"
   He looked at Aoko curiously.
   Aoko stood completely still, staring at the wall.
@@ -2695,15 +2695,15 @@
 "...And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
 "We never see eye to eye. Talking to you is like going on a date, both pointless activities."
 "..."
-  Based on that statement, Aoko must have been under the assumption that dating is the act of two lovers whispering nonsense to each other.
+  Based on that statement, Aoko must have been under the assumption that dating was the act of two lovers whispering nonsense to each other.
 "...The real question is what the hell qualifies as company to you, but whatever.
-  You could, you know, ease off a little from time to time."
-"Always trying to smooth things over with that silver tongue of yours."
-"At least I'm trying. It's like you stopped bothering to be civil two years ago."
-"I'm always civil-just not when you're in the same room."
+  You're awfully harsh today, Aozaki."
+"Maybe a little. This isn't exactly the time to make nice."
+"Funny you mention that―I haven't seen you try to be civil at all in the last two years."
+"Oh, I'm always civil―just not when you're in the same room."
 "So that's how it is. You're still upset with me for what happened, aren't you?"
-  There was only one thing that Tobimaru could be talking about.
-  The incident that occurred in the student council room this past summer.
+  There was only one thing that Tobimaru could be talking about--
+  the incident that occurred in the student council room this past summer.
 "Huh? Isn't that ancient history at this point?
   Don't you think you should stop wasting brainpower on this? I mean, you've got so few brain cells to work with as it is."
   As the conversation wore on, Aoko's murderous aura began to fade, and her sharp gaze gave way to a calmer demeanor rarely seen from her.
@@ -2722,9 +2722,9 @@
 "I'll admit that was quite a punch though.
   It was enough to make me react on reflex.
   Did I really say that, by the way?"
-"You sure did. And not only that-after I was taken to the infirmary, you had the balls to tell me you did me a favor by forcing me to be your number two."
-  Since that day, Tobimaru had served as the vice-president to the person who'd usurped the role from him.
-"It's fine, though. The president's chair doesn't suit me anyway. I feel much more at home as the vice-president. Your job would have probably turned me into my dad."
+"You sure did. And not only that―after I was taken to the infirmary, you had the balls to tell me you did me a favor by forcing me to be your number two."
+  Since that day, Tobimaru had served as the vice president to the person who'd usurped the role from him.
+"It's fine, though. The president's chair doesn't suit me anyway. I feel much more at home as the vice president. Your job would have probably turned me into my dad."
 "Your pride's never allowed you to give anything less than your best.
   You might be a little too comfortable on the student council, though. Makes me wonder how you would've looked as an honor student."
 "Don't even go there. Even thinking about it gives me the creeps.
@@ -2786,7 +2786,7 @@
   I bet you also told him all the nasty rumors floating about me, too, huh."
   She laughed as a fiendish smile adorned her face.
   Tobimaru repented to God, whoever and wherever he or she might be, for ever bringing up Aoko's love life.
-"You did the right thing, Tobimaru. Now be a good little vice-president and tell me every single thing you told him."
+"You did the right thing, Tobimaru. Now be a good little vice president and tell me every single thing you told him."
   She was smiling, but Tobimaru wished she'd at least try to hide the bloodlust.
 "Just two things, really... The story you're most infamous for, and what happened in this room."
   Aoko nodded with satisfaction as she listened to Tobimaru's hesitant answer.
@@ -2835,24 +2835,24 @@
 When did it..."
 "The bell rang right after Sono-G left, around the time you were busy being pissed off at the wall. Tell me, Ms. President. Are you allowed to miss fifth period?"
 "Of course I'm not!
-  Why didn't you say something?!"
+  Why didn't you say something!?"
   She looked like she was on the verge of tears as she shouted and pulled at his necktie.
-Tobimaru raised his hands in mock surrender-a gesture  reserved only for the true victor.
+Tobimaru raised his hands in mock surrender―a gesture reserved only for the true victor.
 "Consider this revenge for saying I was worse than a mosquito.
   Hopefully you've learned your lesson, oh hellish demon who feasts upon the hearts of men."
-"You're so petty, you know that?!
+"You're so petty, you know that!?
   You're supposed to repay insults with insults, you coward!"
   She tightened his necktie around his neck with a yank.
-  The vice-president smiled a thuggish grin, as if her reaction made his victory that much sweeter.
+  The vice president smiled a thuggish grin, as if her reaction made his victory that much sweeter.
 "Heh. It's no secret you're heading to remedial classics. And I don't have to tell you who teaches Class A during fifth period. Old bat Fujishiro is going to have your head!"
   Fujishiro had one of the longest tenures at the school, so it was only natural she would be in charge of teaching the classics.
 "This is where you stop yanking on my tie and haul ass to your classroom.
   I won't even try to stop you. Am I not merciful?"
-"Damn! It! All! I can't believe you of all people pulled one over on me!"
+"Damn! It! All! I can't believe you of all people pulled one over on me!
   Just die already!"
   She choked him even harder with his necktie.
   As Aoko put words into action and mercilessly strangled Tobimaru, he saw his life flash before his eyes.
-"Ggahhhh! Wait! Stop! I'm gonna die! It isn't too late! Do you want them to mark you absent?!"
+"Ggahhhh! Wait! Stop! I'm gonna die! It isn't too late! Do you want them to mark you absent!?"
   Aoko glanced up at the clock.
   It was still only seven past one. Her route was from the student council room on the second floor to the Class A classroom on the third floor. If she ran she could make it.
 "I'll let you live, Tobimaru. This time."
@@ -2862,8 +2862,8 @@
   I actually do have something I need you to do."
   She was halfway out of the room before she even finished her sentence.
   Finally all alone,
-Tobimaru closed the open door, locked it,
-and slumped into a chair.
+ Tobimaru closed the open door, locked it,
+ and slumped into a chair.
 "...Never a dull moment with Aozaki around, that's for sure."
   He leaned back in the creaky folding chair and let out a sigh.
   The weather outside was beautiful.
@@ -3013,7 +3013,7 @@
   Unlike the grandfather I knew, he smiled and kindly placed his hand upon my head.
   "...Yes, the red death follows your every step."
   Rather than consoling me, he sent me home with only those haunting words.
-  That night, I am certain that I sensed a shadow lurking behind me.
+  That night, I was certain that I sensed a shadow lurking behind me.
   Something or someone watching me from afar...
   Then little by little, year by year, it drew closer.
   Eventually, the presence that once felt like a spot on the horizon grew so close that I could feel its breath down the base of my neck.
@@ -3074,19 +3074,19 @@
   I spun around.
   The enemy's arm stretched out like a spear.
   This lethal weapon, aimed at the back of my head, brushed my hair at breakneck speed.
-  With the omniscient view granted by Alice's ward, I managed to avoid it by the skin of my teeth.
+  With the omniscient awareness granted by Alice's ward, I managed to avoid it by the skin of my teeth.
   My hair fanned through the air from the violence of the attack.
-  An attack grazed my cheek and I felt a small, sharp pain.
+  The strike grazed my cheek, and I felt a small, sharp pain.
   It felt like the kiss of death.
 "...!"
   I switched the flow of my body's blood to a different cycle.
   The blood running through my veins at a few feet per second transmuted into an imaginary element.
 My body became a single circuit and my heart transformed into a completely different engine.
-  An unknowable motion of immeasurable heat.
-  A Mystic, yet untapped by humankind, that made me who I am.
-  The fire of life behind all miracles and fables.
-  This is what we mages call magical energy.
-"...Set."
+  Within me stirred an unknowable motion of immeasurable heat--
+  Something Mystic, yet untapped by humankind, that made me who I am.
+  It was the fire of life behind all miracles and fables--
+  what we mages called magical energy.
+"...<Connecting|Set.>."
   I turned around, set the enemy in my sights, and held up one hand.
   My arm was the agent of my will.
   My lack of experience meant my magecraft would only be possible with the use of vocalizations and gestures.
@@ -3126,16 +3126,16 @@
 No, this was no corpse. This was just a puppet, and for all our efforts to lure the master out, we had once again been tricked by a familiar.
   My debut, my first test out in the open, would be postponed for another day.
 "Argh...
-Will I ever pass this test...?
-...What?"
+ Will I ever pass this test...?
+ ...What?"
   At that moment, I suddenly noticed something familiar in the corner of my eye.
   Something seemed strange about the slide on the other end of the park. It appeared as though its shadow were larger than it should be.
   Was I still drunk on the high of battle?
   It took me a second to realize what it was.
-"Who's there?!"
+"Who's there!?"
   Calling out was a mistake.
   Startled by my voice, the figure, wearing a familiar high school uniform, took a step back, and then...
-It broke into a sprint.
+ It broke into a sprint.
   Like someone running for their life.
   ...Or should I say, he was doing exactly that!
 "After him! We've been spotted!"
@@ -3149,7 +3149,7 @@
   Shaking off the numbness in my legs, I made for the park's exit.
   I had to admire his escape.
   The witness, party to the entire night's proceedings, had disappeared into the darkness of the residential district without a trace.
-"Why the hell didn't I sense him in the field?!"
+"Why the hell didn't I sense him in the field!?"
   Complaining to myself wouldn't bring back the figure in uniform.
   Bitter at my own incompetence, I gave up the chase.
   Though temporary, the park had become Alice's "woods."
@@ -3164,7 +3164,7 @@
   Before some strange rumors spread, I needed to seal the witness's mouth shut.
   That was the highest priority. Quickly and without mercy.
   Looking up, I saw Alice's previously distant figure.
-  Though she was in as much trouble as I was with her existence as a magus also exposed, she had but one thing to say.
+  Though she was in as much trouble as I was with her existence as a mage also exposed, she had but one thing to say.
 "...This means trouble."
   Her statue-like figure, staring into the darkness, seemed more expressionless than calm.
   ...I was pissed off.
@@ -3223,19 +3223,19 @@
   Meaning they were of the least use when needed the most. Aoko sighed.
 "...Well, how are you faring? You seemed pretty confident this morning."
 "Hm?
-Yeah, I guess everything's good on my end.
+ Yeah, I guess everything's good on my end.
   I'm pretty sure I'll know by tomorrow. I told Tobimaru to look into all of the students' addresses and schedules.
   Not many people wander the park that time of night, so it should be easy enough to figure out who it was."
 "How can you be so sure?"
 "Because. I didn't just join the student council to keep up appearances. I've been using my position to keep tabs on everyone.
 I have info on everything from part-time jobs, to friends' addresses, to what they're up to in their spare time.
-  It's a list I was hoping to keep secret, but we can't afford to do that now, can we? That's why I keep the vice-president around. It's the kind of thing he does best."
+  It's a list I was hoping to keep secret, but we can't afford to do that now, can we? That's why I keep the vice president around. It's the kind of thing he does best."
   Incidentally, the creation of this secret file started the moment Aoko became student council president.
   The mere rumor of its existence was enough to strike fear into the entire student body.
 "...As thorough as always, I see."
   Alice was only mildly surprised.
   It had been almost two years since they first started living together.
-  She knew as well as anyone that when Aoko put her mind to something she saw it through to the end.
+  She knew as well as anyone that when Aoko put her mind to something, she saw it through to the end.
 "Well, I never imagined I'd have to use it like this. But it's better to be safe than sorry."
   But what happened last night was far beyond a mere exception to the rule.
   This predicament should not have even been possible.
@@ -3312,7 +3312,7 @@
   Was she truly up to the task of murdering an innocent person?
   Could she swallow the fact that this was a common occurrence for a mage?
   She snorted sardonically.
-Being a mage did not mean that Aoko was some kind of monk who could cut ties with the real world on a whim.
+  Being a mage did not mean that Aoko was some kind of monk who could cut ties with the real world on a whim.
   If there was one thing Aoko hated...
   It was doing things without conviction or an understanding of exactly why she was doing them.
   When she acted, she preferred to act decisively.
@@ -3329,7 +3329,7 @@
   Aoko stared at the bottle suspiciously.
 "It's a storage bottle. I had one to spare, so I'm giving it to you."
 "A what?"
-"I forgot what it's called, it's a thing out of a Chinese novel."
+"I forgot what it's called, but it's a thing out of a Chinese novel."
   Aoko was miraculously able to parse what Alice meant.
 "Are you saying that this is the red drinking gourd from the story about the two brothers who guarded the Lotus Cave?
   Don't take this the wrong way, but it looks like your everyday medicine bottle with the label ripped off."
@@ -3350,11 +3350,11 @@
   But, true. People like that are rare."
   In that case, one would have to weaken them until they were about to pass out.
 "Oh, I almost forgot. Drugs or magecraft will also cause the bottle to break."
-"Then what good is it?!
+"Then what good is it!?
   What won't break the damn thing?"
 "A tool is only as good as the person using it."
-  Alice turned away as she replied.
-  As if the topic no longer mattered to her.
+  Alice turned away as she replied,
+  as if the topic no longer mattered to her.
 "...Ugh. I know you're fond of using dainty tools like this. Is it a hobby of yours or something?"
   Aoko asked, hoping Alice would deny it.
 "Perhaps.
@@ -3403,12 +3403,12 @@
   But it does come across as if you were trying to pick a fight with him."
   Alice bit into the very last hanpen.
   Her remark was unexpected but completely on point.
-"...Wh-Why did you go there?!
+"...W-why did you go there!?
   I'd rather die than spend another second with him!
 I mean, seriously! Gross! I have no interest in him whatsoever!
  I'd love it if I never had to say anything about him ever again!"
 "So why all the talk about him?"
-"Wh-What...I, err...
+"W-what...I, err...
  I was just reporting on today's investigation. Something wrong with that?"
   What other reason could Alice be suggesting Aoko had for bringing it up?
   It would be several hours later, in bed, that Aoko realized that she had dug her own grave.
@@ -3416,9 +3416,9 @@
   But... does he really bother you that much?"
   Alice ate her hotpot in silence as if she was honoring some sort of sacred ritual.
   Her face was as indifferent as always, but she was secretly enjoying how flustered Aoko was.
-  Aoko was none the wiser to this.
+  Aoko remained oblivious to this.
   Normally, she would have noticed immediately, but she was not quite herself at this moment.
-"Does he really- Well, of course he does. I think I've said that often enough."
+"Does he really―well, of course he does. I think I've said that often enough."
 "Okay. What specifically about him do you dislike?"
 "Huh? I don't need a specific reason to..."
   She trailed off as she finally realized how disagreeable she was being.
@@ -3435,7 +3435,7 @@
   As clueless as he might seem, he was not a complete waste of space.
   If he seemed a bit slow, it was only because his gentle nature compelled him to think before acting.
   When one looked at everything objectively, the conclusion was obvious.
-  As much as she was loathe to admit it, he really was the good guy everyone had him pegged as.
+  As much as she was loathe to admit it, he really was unassuming do-gooder everyone had him pegged as.
 (I can't believe what I'm thinking. Is there really nothing wrong with him?)
   There was plenty, so she left it at that for now.
   The chopsticks she had been using came to a stop.
@@ -3445,7 +3445,7 @@
   Alice fixed Aoko with a deadpan stare.
 "...I'm shocked."
   A small sigh.
-"This isn't like you."
+"This isn't like you, Aoko."
   Those words were the final blow.
   Aoko felt the floor fall out from under her.
   She was unable to leave her chair until long after Alice had finished eating and left.
@@ -3465,11 +3465,11 @@
 "Okay, with that out of the way..."
   After settling her resolve, she headed to the study next door.
 "Let's see, Thursday shelf, winter solstice, green spine..."
-  Without hesitating she removed one book from the countless volumes on the shelf.
+  Without hesitation, she removed one book from the countless volumes on the shelf.
   The introductory textbooks transported here from the Aozaki residence were separated into six shelves, labeled Monday to Saturday.
   Aoko had organized the books by topic, genre, and purpose, and had more or less memorized exactly what was in her personal library.
   Referencing any of this material took her no time at all.
-  As was befitting the role of the keeper of this study.
+  It was to be expected from keeper of this study.
   ...Though, this keeper's fiefdom was nothing more than a small room.
   Both Aoko and Alice had given up all hope on the cluttered mess of a library in the annex.
   Nevertheless, on occasion, Aoko would have no option other than to give Alice a heads-up and visit it when this study did not meet her needs.
@@ -3491,20 +3491,20 @@
   Fundamentally, magecraft was good for making things or phenomena that existed already, while more or less bypassing the time and resources conventional means would require.
   It was, however, unable to manifest phenomena that were impossible in this world.
   It was essentially an equivalent exchange that used a variety of shortcuts.
-  A phenomenon made possible by human hands, actualized by an individual's power- 
-  That was generally what magecraft was.
+  A phenomenon made possible by human hands, actualized by an individual's power―
+  that was generally what magecraft was.
   To give a simple example, if Aoko were so inclined, she could make an entire lake appear at the mansion.
   However, it had to be something that existed within this world. Nothing, not even the smallest matter, could escape this unbreakable law.
   Even if Aoko were to release a level of heat on par with an F-15 fighter jet's afterburner, that event would only be possible if the circuit named Aoko Aozaki acted as a temporary input variable in a magical formula.
   The derived equivalence was simply a value that already occurred in reality.
   If the variable in the equation did not exist elsewhere in reality, the spell would not be valid.
   The imaginary element known as magical energy was like a lie that could only slip its fantasy through the network of order at the moment of ignition.
-  Giving form to the nonexistent-illusions invading reality-was something the universe did not allow.
-(Still, what was it? You can combine the imaginary elements-Ether-with pretty much anything else since it's not real itself...?
+  Giving form to the nonexistent--illusions invading reality--was something the universe did not allow.
+(Still, what was it? You can combine the imaginary factor--Ether--with pretty much anything else since it's not real itself...?
   Anything composed entirely of magical energy is little more than an illusion and will quickly dissipate. Even a typical field, like a wall of thorns, generally starts with the user planting the thorns first before using magical energy to grow and strengthen them in an instant.
   In the end, magical energy is just an easy-to-use fuel source, while acting as a firework that ignites a phenomenon.)
 "...Or so they say.
-  Imaginary elements are all well and good, but all I can do is connect a basic circuit, and process magical energy into a projectile."
+  Imaginary factors are all well and good, but all I can do is connect a basic circuit, and process energy into a projectile."
   Laughing to herself, she looked for a Bounded Field or something similar more suited to her current ability.
   The identity of the witness was still unknown, but if they were a classmate of Aoko's, she had any number of pretexts by which to lure them out.
   The problem was after that.
@@ -3517,8 +3517,8 @@
 "Found it."
   She smiled to herself.
   It was a simple formula that she had tucked away somewhere in the recesses of her memory. A spell of simple destruction.
-(...A cage. I need to make a cage.
-  It's the oldest trick in the book, any hunter worth their salt would use.)
+(...A cage. That's all I need to make.
+  It's the oldest trick in the book that any hunter worth their salt would use.)
   She placed a bookmark in the book, closed it, and got up to return to her room.
   Suddenly she felt someone watching her.
   Through the window, she saw her in the night―a girl, staring back with a coldhearted expression.
@@ -3527,10 +3527,10 @@
   Though to say it was something as elaborate as a plan was overkill.
   This was just a job.
   She was going to make a cage and then lure her prey into it.
-  There was no getting around it-premeditated violence.
+  There was no getting around it―premeditated violence.
 "I wonder if Alice is done with her bath."
-  Spoken in the hope a bath would return some warmth to her chilled heart.
-  About twenty minutes had passed since she gave Alice the privilege of the first of the hot water.
+  She mumbled out loud, as if the bath would return some warmth to her chilled heart.
+  About twenty minutes had passed since she gave Alice the privilege of using the hot water first.
   Alice tended to bathe quickly, finishing well under ten minutes.
   Her roommate was the type that could not understand the spirit of the bath, treating it as nothing more than a necessity for looking after one's body.
   For Alice, the concept of staying at a hot spring inn sounded more like a chore than anything, though in this regard Aoko had to agree.
@@ -3588,14 +3588,14 @@
   And Aoko was none the wiser to her roommate's rather unsettling comments.
   The following day was a typically overcast one.
   The day's classes ended as they had started: uneventfully.
-  Winter break was just around the corner, and with it final exams.
-  Although Misaki High prided itself on discipline, it was still a private school, and as such promoted a culture of independence among its students.
+  Winter break was just around the corner, and with it, final exams.
+  Although Misaki High prided itself on discipline, it was still a private school which promoted a culture of independence among its students.
   Industrious students had a place to explore that side of themselves under the guardianship of the student council president.
   More easygoing students could spend their time after school as they wished, as long as they were mindful of personal responsibility.
-  The fact that the poster boy of independence was the student council vice-president indicated just how vast the spectrum was.
-"Yoohoo, Aozakiii!"
+  The fact that the poster boy of independence was the student council vice president indicated just how vast the spectrum was.
+"Aozaki, you in here?"
   Tobimaru Tsukiji threw open the door to the satellite student council room, the rumored location for their secret meetings.
-  Despite all appearances, he was the student council vice-president, who also happened to be the poor soul responsible for executing the student council's dirty work.
+  Despite all appearances, he was the student council vice president, who also happened to be the poor soul responsible for executing the student council's dirty work.
   One person was waiting for him in the cramped room.
   The student council president, Aoko Aozaki, sat imperiously in a folding chair, glaring at Tobimaru and his boisterous entrance.
 "This room is freezing, as usual.
@@ -3603,12 +3603,12 @@
   So as not to succumb to Aoko's oppressive silence, Tobimaru opened with some casual small talk.
 "Thank you for coming. Let's get down to business. Do you know why I've asked you here?"
 "I have an idea. What's up with the formality, Aozaki?
-  Pretty harsh to talk shop right away all the time, you know?"
+  Pretty cold to talk shop right away all the time, you know?"
   Tobimaru closed the door and sat down across from Aoko.
   He was holding a blue envelope.
 "Yeah, and loose lips sink ships.
   Might remember that once you get out into the real world."
-"All right, I'll remem―Wait a sec. Nice try."
+"All right, I'll remem―wait a sec. Nice try."
   Tobimaru was halfway to agreeing with Aoko before he caught himself and began to shake his head.
   As much as Tobimaru enjoyed the lack of red tape in his new line of work, he was not ready to turn full spy on his first day on the job.
 "So then. Are you done with your investigation?"
@@ -3650,7 +3650,7 @@
 "...You gotta be kidding me."
   And yet, she knew what she had to do.
   She would not have hesitated to kill Tobimaru if he had been the witness.
-  But if it was him?
+  But what if it was who she was thinking of?
   Just considering the possibility caused her blood to run cold.
   Aoko put her forehead in her hands and began to brood.
   And then, suddenly―
@@ -3788,7 +3788,7 @@
 "Anyway, you really helped me out.
   I just wanted to say thanks."
   Soujyuro gratefully dipped his head, but not before the flustered Aoko stopped him.
-"Gimme a break. You're just going to give me a headache if you do that."
+"Gimme a break. You're just going to give me a headache if you do that.
   ...
  So. How's the swimming club? Does it seem like a good fit?"
   An awkwardness infiltrated her previously sharp gaze.
@@ -3796,14 +3796,14 @@
   So he simply started with what he knew so far and reported the most recent information he had.
 "Oh, I got kicked out of the club already."
 "W-
- WHAT?! Why?!"
+ WHAT!? Why!?"
   Aoko instinctively shouted at the unexpected response.
   Like a human jack-in-the-box.
-  This unexpected development threw her mind in a tizzy and she momentarily forgot the complicated feelings she had been wrestling with.
+  This unexpected development threw her mind in a tizzy, and she momentarily forgot the complicated feelings she had been wrestling with.
 "B-B-But you just said that you were on your way to meet the captain!"
 "Yeah, the captain's taking me to a heated pool in Yashirogi."
   Soujyuro stated this very matter-of-factly to the still-reeling Aoko.
-"...I'm not following. Things seem to be going fine. Why would they kick you out?!"
+"...I'm not following. Things seem to be going fine. Why would they kick you out!?"
 "Oh, that's easy. Because I can't swim."
 "..."
   Aoko reached up with her fingers and pinched the bridge of her nose as she processed his answer.
@@ -3877,7 +3877,7 @@
   There were pros and cons to choosing either of these animals, the point being that she had asked him to choose one of them.
   In terms of risk, the lion was the more dangerous choice. The instant the gun was pointed at it there was the chance it would fight back.
   Those who chose the lion required more courage, but any sense of guilt that came with holding a gun would be forgotten.
-  Lions are fierce creatures-a poor excuse to shoot an animal, perhaps, but one that certainly helped alleviate the guilt.
+  Lions were fierce creatures―a poor excuse to shoot an animal, perhaps, but one that certainly helped alleviate the guilt.
   But what about the kitten―the weaker creature?
   It goes without saying that the kitten would be the easier target of the two, but choosing it would be a disquieting decision for anyone.
   Even if the kitten had no chance to survive, it was still too senseless to carry out.
@@ -3946,7 +3946,7 @@
   In Misaki's neighboring town of Yashirogi, a new symbol of its own was about to be born.
   Yashirogi Bread & Kitsy Land.
   It was Misaki's worst investment.
-  Years later it would be dubbed the fool's gold of the economic bubble, a relic of a bygone age.
+  Years later, it would be dubbed the fool's gold of the economic bubble, a relic of a bygone age.
 "This city lacks aspiration and sophistication."
   Ten years ago...
   Yashirogi's renowned Tokitsu Baking Company ran factories all across the nation. Its proprietor was a middle-aged gentleman (then age fifty-six) by the name of Yurihiko Tokitsu, known affectionately by most as Toppan. He took it upon himself to begin development on an estate on the outskirts of Yashirogi and broke ground on a recreational wonderland that he hoped to be the pride of Misaki City.
@@ -3993,7 +3993,7 @@
 These were certainly not things, or perhaps crimes, that Soujyuro was proud to do, but...
 "...Sorry, I can't pay you any money.
   I'm really sorry for coming in for free."
-  Money―the real reason his conscience was gnawing at him.
+  Money, apparently, was why his conscience was gnawing at him.
   He clapped his hands in apology toward the statue of Kitsy, on whose eyes the paint had begun to aptly dissolve.
   Soujyuro passed the mascot bleeding red paint from its eye sockets and began to walk the night park.
   The buildings' colors had faded.
@@ -4026,7 +4026,7 @@
   Also, did I make a mistake agreeing to team up with you?"
 "Don't be silly. It was just an... insurance policy. Yeah.
   I just thought that if I lost sight of you at any point, I could blow the whole building and you with it."
-  It was her policy to be thorough to the end, after all. She laughed in embarrassment saying it out loud, though.
+  It was her policy to be thorough to a fault, after all. She laughed, embarrassed to hear herself say it aloud.
 "Don't you think that's overkill!?"
   Faced with Aoko's cruelty, Soujyuro forgot about the situation at hand and protested from the bottom of his heart.
 "...Stop complaining. At least now we have a way to fight back."
@@ -4059,13 +4059,13 @@
 "Keep a distance of around thirty feet and weave through the corridors as slowly as you can three or four times.
   Count the mirrors as you move to locate the hidden passages. From here, they are on the sixth, third, seventh, and second mirrors counterclockwise. Use those, and you should be relatively safe."
   It was essentially a looping marathon.
-  As long as Soujyuro maintained a distance of the puppet's extended arm and just enough that she could continue to track him, she should continue chasing him indefinitely.
+  As long as Soujyuro kept just enough distance from the puppet's extended arm to allow her to track him, she could continue to chase him indefinitely.
   Simple though the task was, Soujyuro was putting his life on the line as bait.
   And then there was the final order to run as fast as he could to the exit when the building began to sway.
 "This is more than just a little tough..."
   He nervously stuck his head out from around the corner.
   He could hear the sound of the music box from the other side of the corridor.
-  First he had to make eye contact with it, then head through the shortcut on the right, and begin their game of tag.
+  First he had to make eye contact with it, then head through the shortcut on the right and begin their game of tag.
 "...!"
   He spotted it and braced himself.
   Closer... Closer...
@@ -4079,7 +4079,7 @@
   He was sure that was mistaken...
   He was confident he had it memorized moments ago, but his nerves had gotten the best of him, and his head was now spinning.
   ...Then.
-  Soujyuro realized that the sound of his pursuer was beginning to growing distant.
+  Soujyuro realized that the sound of his pursuer was beginning to grow distant.
   And at an incredible speed.
 "...What's it doing now?"
   The unusual silhouette of the puppet astonished him.
@@ -4088,38 +4088,38 @@
   and returned to the first floor to pursue her primary target.
 "Oh... This isn't the plan."
   Soujyuro was no longer sure what to do.
-  With not even the time to mourn his failure the puppet had vanished out of sight.
-"I'll be of help. Just let me go..."
+  Before he'd even had time to mourn his failure, the puppet had vanished out of sight.
+"I'll help, so let me go."
   Or so he had said, but now he could not follow through.
-"...So. What am I supposed to do now?"
+"...So, what am I supposed to do now?"
   Alone, he tilted his head in frustration.
   He spoke into the darkness as if Aoko would be there to answer him.
-  That very moment.
- Having arrived on the first floor, Aoko quickly understood what had transpired above her.
+  Meanwhile, downstairs...
+ As soon as she arrived on the first floor, Aoko understood what had transpired above her.
   She did not even have to strain her ears to hear the puppet.
   Even during its heyday, this attraction had never made sounds like the one she heard coming toward her now.
   It was the sound of despair, as if a horde of monstrous hedgehogs were scraping their way past the mirrors in her direction.
 "...That ditz. Three minutes? He couldn't even last ten seconds."
-  Rather than buying her time, Soujyuro had in fact stolen hers.
-  She dreamed of cursing him for failing to fulfill his one job.
-"...Multiple simultaneous footsteps... So it switched from bipedal to its multi-leg form?"
-  The echoes made it sound like the footsteps of dozens of feet.
-  To Aoko, it sounded like a giant, six-legged spider, tearing its way down the corridor.
+  Rather than buying her time, Soujyuro had instead stolen hers.
+  He had one job―to run away, that was all! She cursed him under her breath.
+"Multiple footsteps...so it's switched from bipedal to multi-leg form?"
+  The echoes made it sound like dozens of feet were approaching.
+  Aoko's mind conjured an image of a giant, six-legged spider tearing its way down the corridor.
   It was little wonder that it was so much faster than before.
   Its perception of its surroundings through echolocation was of particular use in the dark.
   Compared to sight-dependent humans, this automaton was far better equipped to navigate its way through the labyrinth of mirrors.
-  If it could not keep pace earlier it was because its bipedal mode of movement was not up to the task.
-  But the stability provided by multiple legs gave it speed that far exceeded that of any human.
+  If it could not keep pace earlier, that had been because its bipedal mode made it less maneuverable.
+  Now, the stability provided by multiple legs gave it a speed that far exceeded that of any human.
 (What now? What now!?)
-  Her thoughts spun out as she tried to come up with a plan B.
+  Her thoughts spun out as she tried to come up with a Plan B.
   All she knew for sure was that this was a pivotal moment.
   If she continued standing still, she had seconds left at most.
-  Even in her current state, she knew she could easily neutralize the Bounded Field blocking the entrance without casting a spell. All she had to do was pour a little of her own energy into it.
+  Even in her current state, she knew she could easily neutralize the Bounded Field blocking the entrance without casting a spell. All she had to do was feed a little of her own energy into it.
   Aoko could sprint with all her might for a little more than three minutes.
   The puppet had far more stamina than she did.
   She could only come up with three options.
   The first was to escape through the exit in front of her.
-  The second was to hide herself somewhere within the far-more complicated first floor.
+  The second was to hide somewhere on the more complicated first floor.
   And the third was to run into the basement and be stuck like a rat in a trap.
 "Well, that's obvious enough."
   She made her decision with zero hesitation,
@@ -4133,13 +4133,13 @@
   while an autonomous antique chased its prey into the depths of a demonic dungeon.
   A minute later, a faint, blue charge would ripple through the castle.
   This was the main pillar in the deepest depths of the basement.
-  The pillar itself was not there to support the castle's structure, but it would serve nicely as the symbol into which the girl thrust her fist with all of her magical energy.
+  Though not critical to the castle's structure, the pillar was a visible symbol of it. The girl concentrated her magical energy into a fist and thrust it at the pillar.
   This was the blow that would bring down the castle.
-  She imagined the scene as she threw the punch, a scene that would soon become reality.
-  It was simple ignition magecraft, meant to release the condensed magical energy engraved into the four pillars that formed the foundation of the structure.
+  She imagined the destruction as she threw the punch, and that scene blossomed into reality seconds later.
+  It was simple ignition magecraft, meant to release the condensed magical energy engraved into the four pillars at the corners of the structure.
   Using electricity as a switch meant virtually instantaneous activation.
-  Swift and elegant.
-  A hammer of destruction descended upon the castle of dreams that had stubbornly resisted its fate for two years.
+  It happened swiftly and elegantly― 
+  a hammer of destruction descended upon the castle of dreams that had stubbornly resisted its fate for two years.
   It was almost a joyous sound.
   And so, the lifeless and abandoned castle of mirrors set the stage for its final and most spectacular performance.
   Aoko's magical energy became an electrical charge that activated the magecraft formula engraved into the pillar. The chain reaction would lead to the castle's destruction.
@@ -4150,7 +4150,7 @@
   She wreathed her arms in blue light, fully aware that she could no longer activate another formula.
   Her labored breathing refused to settle.
   She stood at the center of the basement.
-  Without being spotted even once, she had managed to make it all the way to the central pillar. It was a hundred meter dash in thirteen seconds flat. Undoubtedly a new personal best.
+  Without being spotted even once, she had managed to make it all the way to the central pillar. It was a hundred-meter dash in thirteen seconds flat―undoubtedly a new personal best.
   She spurred on her weakened heart, knowing full well the fate that awaited her.
 "It can't help but follow me. And once down here, there'll be no escape.
   I should've expected that. It was too much to expect that I could keep up the chase forever."
@@ -4166,7 +4166,7 @@
                     "<Vivo in somno. Solitarie putresco in inferis|In slumber, I live. In dirt, I rot.>.
         <Hic dies meus obitus dies, et meus nativus dies. Te obeam.|Today is the day I died and was born. Now I come to you.>"
 (Hmph. It's always been on a suicide mission, huh.
-  It doesn't have enough juice to power the six-legged form and the Finn Shots. The curses aren't recharging it fast enough.")
+  It doesn't have enough juice to power the six-legged form and the Finn Shots. The curses aren't recharging it fast enough.)
   Such a perpetual motion device was only as good as its ability to regulate its energy consumption.
   Using so many functions at once meant it was burning through fuel quickly and losing the ability to process the curses that powered it.
   It was using up all of the functions it had been given to achieve its aim.
@@ -4180,17 +4180,17 @@
 "This is it. This ends now."
   Aoko had every intention of paying it back double for what it had done to her.
   The energy Aoko had accumulated exploded out of her right leg.
-  She aimed for a single thing: A head-on attack!
-  The enemy's response was a curse to crush her heart.
-  A curse that would rend Aoko's heart, and destroy itself in the process.
-"Huah!"
+  She aimed for a single thing: a head-on attack!
+  The enemy responded with a lethal curse that reached for her heart like a set of talons.
+  Humming with power, it meant to rend Aoko's heart and burn itself out in the process.
+"Hup!"
   As soon as she saw it, Aoko kicked the floor as hard as she could.
   Her long hair swirled through the air as she flipped aside.
-"...Hnnh."
+"...Hnngh!"
   This lateral move almost sent her tumbling to the ground, but a quick swing of her arm allowed her to regain her balance.
 "...!"
   A shot grazed her arm,
-  with the curse scorching her left shoulder.
+  the curse scorching her left shoulder.
   She did not flinch. Aoko knew she could hold on as long as she continued to avoid a direct Finn Shot.
 "...!"
 "Snap!"
@@ -4206,7 +4206,7 @@
 "...<Initio erraveramus. Dum vivimus dolores sunt|It was all a mistake. I should have never been born.>.
 <Nemo adiuvat. Nemo adiuvat. Nemo adiuvat.|Atone for me! Atone for me! Atone for me!>"
   The chant became a curse that robbed Aoko of her vitality.
-"...Hah."
+"...!"
   Did it still have something left in the tank, or was it actually indignant?
   Whatever the reason, Aoko was easily able to resist its weakened defensive maneuver...
 "Glider!"
@@ -4215,13 +4215,13 @@
   Or rather, she felt little resistance.
   An automaton's weight was determined by its internals―the size of its power source.
   Ironically, it was the superiority of its music box engine that would prove to be its downfall.
-"...<Venite, Venite, Venite, meum sepulchrum veniteeeeeeee|Welcome! Welcome! Welcome my graaaaaave>..."
+"...<Venite, Venite, Venite, meum sepulchrum veniteeeeeeee|Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to my graaaaaave>..."
   A stuttering curse.
   Having taken the full brunt of Aoko's kick, the puppet bounced from ceiling to floor, collapsing in a heap.
   Its internal construction had been warped by the impact, leaving the drum of the music box that powered the puppet warped as well.
 "Take your design flaws up with your maker.
 A single dynamo would have been all you needed to―
-Wait, what the...?!"
+Wait, what the―!?"
   Part of the ceiling came crashing down in front of Aoko, snapping her back to her senses.
 (...Did I really just take her out?)
   She was so stunned by her own victory that she forgot the house of mirrors had already begun to collapse.
@@ -4230,9 +4230,9 @@
   Not unless she wanted to meet the same fate.
   As the situation stood, she found it hard to imagine getting out alive.
 "Get a move on, Aoko!"
-  She slapped herself on the cheek and took off.
+  She clapped herself on the cheeks to motivate herself anew.
   This was her bounty for finishing their battle in a matter of seconds.
-  With her breathing labored by all the excitement, she ran for the exit.
+  Her breath ragged with excitement, Aoko ran for the exit.
   The collapse was intensifying by the second.
   Having lost its support pillars, the castle was buckling under its own weight.
 "Out of my way!"
@@ -4243,12 +4243,12 @@
   The automaton's jamming had long since worn off.
   The earlier attack had damaged the vast majority of its functions.
 "-, -!"
-  Her breathing was heavy as she ran.
-  The intensity surrounding her sparked her brain into overdrive.
+  Aoko's breathing was heavy as she ran.
+  Desperation sparked her brain into overdrive.
   The ceiling seemed to be collapsing in slow motion.
-  For her, a second felt like five.
-  Her frayed nerves made it hard to read time correctly.
-  As her life seemed to flash before her very eyes, a light at the end of the tunnel...
+  Life seemed to flash before her very eyes.
+  Each second stretched into five.
+  Her frayed nerves made it hard to tell the time.
   There was debris riddled throughout the stairway, forcing her to crawl up it.
   She emerged from the destroyed basement into the collapsing first floor.
   That the plaza was still traversable at all was a miracle in itself,
@@ -4258,7 +4258,7 @@
   The basement maze only extended as far as the plaza, so the entrance corridor wouldn't collapse. Only the ceiling would cave in, leaving the scaffolding surround intact.
   She got herself this far by telling herself repeatedly that fate would decide whether or not she reached the plaza.
   Her gamble paid off. It was her lucky day.
-  All she had to do was muster the last of her strength and keep moving forward, until―
+  All she had to do was muster the last of her strength and keep moving forward until―
 "..."
   She hesitated for a fraction of a second.
   Was it naivety? A sense of responsibility?
@@ -4268,13 +4268,13 @@
   That was five minutes ago.
   At the time, Soujyuro had nodded with trepidation.
   And Aoko had not bothered to ask herself why.
-"What are you thinking, Aoko?! Just focus on running!"
+"What are you spacing out for!? Just focus on running!"
   This corridor was giving out too.
   If she were to look back, she was sure she would see the building collapsing in on her.
   She was also sure she had no time to waste doing so.
   Her luck was fading as fast as the building's structural integrity.
   It was a small miracle that she had escaped serious injury up to this point, and she could not afford even the slightest slip-up.
-  An ankle sprain, loss of balance, even a sneeze would be fatal. A simple pat on the back was enough to end it.
+  An ankle sprain, loss of balance, or even a sneeze would be fatal. A simple pat on the back was enough to end it.
   So, naturally...
 "...Oh."
   There it was, clear as day.
@@ -4290,14 +4290,14 @@
   This time, she could not dodge it. There was absolutely nothing she could do.
   The puppet with her face sang.
   <I invite you|@_Venite domum meam.>.
-  <to die a muddy death|@_Luto simile somnium>.
+  <to die a muddy death|@_Luto simile somnium.>.
   <Become as whispering dust|@_et pulveri simile cotidianum.>.
   <Gouge out your heart|@_Cor privo.>.
                                       
   "<Death be upon you!|Te iudico.>"
 "Wha―"
   For a moment, she could not believe her eyes.
-  This was the last thing she expected to see.
+  It was the last thing she'd expected to see.
 "Don't know when to give up, do you?"
   A fierce expression adorned the face of the boy who had been waiting in the plaza, as he smashed the puppet's outstretched arm.
   Anger really did not suit him at all.
@@ -4306,20 +4306,20 @@
   No, never mind that!
   It was too crazy to contemplate... but had he stayed behind... for her?
 "Sizuki!"
-  Aoko stopped the feet she had sworn to herself she would never stop moving and extended a hand out to him.
+  Aoko stopped the feet she had sworn would never stop moving, and extended a hand out to him.
 "That's enough! Leave it! We have to go!"
   Soujyuro tossed the fire extinguisher aside and took off running.
-  Pieces of ceiling continued to collapse like dominos.
+  Pieces of the ceiling continued to collapse like dominos.
   They kept moving with dust and dirt following in their wake.
   Their shadows raced through the collapsing corridor with all their strength.
   ...The castle was in the throes of death.
   With a massive crash and a cloud of dust, the final chapter of the fairy tale that had been Kitsy Land came to an abrupt end.
   This duel to the death was over.
-  For a moment, amidst their swirling emotions, all past enmity was left behind and the two collapsed on the lawn and basked in a strange solidarity.
+  For a moment, amidst their swirling emotions, any past enmity was forgotten. The two collapsed on the lawn and basked in strange solidarity.
   The ringing in their ears subsided before long.
   A tremor of such magnitude seemed impossible in an amusement park like this.
   As the sounds of destruction echoed across the park, Aoko addressed the individual at her side.
-"Hey... You alive?"
+"Hey...you alive?"
 "Yeah."
 "Tch."
   While the click of her tongue was adorable, the meaning behind it was anything but.
@@ -4353,7 +4353,7 @@
   But just then, she glanced back at the collapsed house of mirrors.
   What had he done after failing so spectacularly?
   He had searched for the extinguisher so he could use it as a weapon,
-  and waited patiently in the plaza as the maze collapsed all around him, because he thought it was wrong of him to leave alone.
+  and waited patiently in the plaza as the maze collapsed all around him just because he thought it was wrong to leave her behind.
   It was a foolish choice, and the exact opposite of her choice to run towards the exit without hesitation.
 "I suppose I'll take it."
   She was satisfied, even as she was shocked at how naive she was being.
@@ -4385,26 +4385,26 @@
   But before that...
 "...How selfish of you.
   And who, may I ask, said you could decide that, Aoko?"
-  It was the voice of a beautiful singing bird
+  It was the voice of a beautiful songbird
   and a merciless machine, all rolled into one.
 "...Alice."
   Her voice quivered as she spoke the name.
   The lady in black made her presence known.
   The night was not yet over.
   Her name was Alice Kuonji.
-  She was a witch whose name struck fear into the heart of Aoko,
+  She was a witch whose name struck fear into the heart of Aoko―
 an avatar of the night who would allow no witnesses.
 "I guess that's it."
   The central plaza was as silent as a grave. According to the map, the meeting spot was west of here.
   Waiting for Soujyuro at his destination was a rugged, imposing, magnificent castle towering before the backdrop of the cloudy night sky.
   Even for an abandoned park, it was a remarkable structure.
-  If the roller coasters and the Ferris wheel were loud, intense attractions, this was in comparison quiet and easygoing.
-  It was one of Kitsy Land's three iconic structures, and, in a way, the wicked fortress that guided this paradise down the path of closure.
-  Generally speaking, amusement park mazes generally fell into one of two categories.
-  A labyrinth, which disorients its visitors with its sheer size.
-  And a house of mirrors, which disorients visitors with optical illusions.
+  If the roller coasters and the Ferris wheel were loud, intense attractions, this was comparatively quiet and easygoing.
+  It was one of Kitsy Land's three iconic structures and, in a way, the wicked fortress that guided this paradise down the path of closure.
+  Generally speaking, amusement park mazes generally fell into one of two categories:
+  Labyrinths, which disorient visitors with their sheer size,
+  and mirror houses, which disorient visitors with optical illusions.
   Many of a labyrinth's guests enjoyed the brief sense of adventure that it afforded.
-  Over the years, however, it would be usurped by the ever-increasing thrills of new attractions. Such is the way of all trends; the curse of fads.
+  Over the years, however, it would be usurped by the ever-increasing thrills of new attractions. Such was the way of all trends; the curse of fads.
   The new must give way to the newer.
   On the other hand, the house of mirrors was a time-honored, beloved staple.
   Even within the confines of a classroom's dimensions, well-placed mirrors and well-directed light could both perplex and delight its visitors.
@@ -4422,7 +4422,7 @@
 "It looks like it's not entirely pitch black... I guess somebody turned the lights on."
   It seemed that Soujyuro, unaware of what a house of mirrors even was, concerned himself only with its lighting.
   He checked the letter from Aoko once more.
-  The letter read, "I will be waiting in the first floor lobby of the house of mirrors."
+  The letter read, "I will be waiting in the first-floor lobby of the house of mirrors."
   That meeting place was definitely in here.
   There was something to see by at least, as he could just make out light faintly through the open doors.
   Putting aside his suspicions, he headed toward the entrance.
@@ -4484,7 +4484,7 @@
   Her arm moved again.
   It was instantaneous.
   Something shot past Soujyuro in the blink of an eye, missing him by just a foot to his left.
-"H-Hey..."
+"Wai―"
   Before his eyes, a blue light, something akin to a fireball, had ignited from nothing. He finally understood what was happening.
 "Wait a second, I've seen one of those before!"
   She ignored his dimwitted reaction.
@@ -4512,17 +4512,17 @@
   All he knew, for reasons unknown, was that the girl in front of him wanted him dead.
 (Y-You could have told me, Tobimaru!
   You said that no such thing exists!
-  Well how about now, idiot? There's a monster right in front of me!)
+  Well, how about now, idiot? There's a monster right in front of me!)
   Soujyuro felt that if he had said that aloud, the second blast would come even quicker than the last, so he kept it to himself.
   His mental expletives stirred his mind from paralysis to mere panic.
   This response came not from confidence, however.
 "Someday, out of the blue, someone is going to kill me."
   While it may have seemed like a baseless belief to hold-
 (Oh, but now that I think about it, murders happen all the time in cities.
-  I should have remembered: you break the rules, you get killed! It's clear to me now!)
+  I should have remembered: if you break the rules, you get killed! I knew that already!)
   To Soujyuro, the situation seemed to perfectly align with his inexperienced understanding that the city was a coldly pragmatic place.
-  As far as he was concerned in this moment, being killed by a classmate was not something to be so surprised by.
-  In a society where murder was possible, he was able to accept this sort of situation as natural. Of virtually no concern was the series of events that led to Aoko's aggression towards him, 
+  As far as he was concerned at this moment, being killed by a classmate was not something to be so surprised by.
+  In a society where murder was possible, he was able to accept this sort of situation as natural. Of virtually no concern was the series of events that led to Aoko's aggression toward him, 
   The only thing that truly confused him was Aoko's blue fireball.
 "..."
   Soujyuro swallowed with an audible gulp.
@@ -4543,12 +4543,12 @@
 "Wait! It's wrong to kill people!"
   Even if it was a fact of life in the city, Soujyuro was not about to lie down and die!
 "Don't you think I know that?!"
-"Just... W-Waaait!"
+"H-hey―waaaait!"
   Soujyuro's scream, still entirely oblivious, was just the thing to invoke Aoko's full wrath.
-"AaaHhhaaah!?"
-  Aoko fired a barrage of blue magical bullets.
+"AaaAAAaaah!?"
+  Aoko fired a barrage of magical blue bullets.
   In an instant, Soujyuro dashed into the shadows behind him, into the entrance to the house of mirrors.
-"Wh-Wh-What the heck was that?!"
+"W-w-what the heck was that!?"
   He darted feverishly down the hall.
   After a mere few feet, he was left completely out of breath. This was due to his shock at seeing yet another attack, fiercer than the first, that he'd never seen in his life, and because he couldn't shake the thought that if he had moved even a second later, he would be dead.
   He could not afford to stop.
@@ -4559,17 +4559,17 @@
   At this rate, if he could just make it to the lobby, he was sure he would be able to find as many hiding spots as he needed.
 (Thank god!)
   He arrived in a large, open space.
-  This was the first floor lobby. There were three passageways.
+  This was the first-floor lobby. There were three passageways.
   One led to the basement floor.
-  One connected to the first floor maze.
+  One connected to the first-floor maze.
   The other was a set of stairs leading to the second floor.
-  Soujyuro did not particularly care which one he chose, so, trusting his intuition, he made a run for the first floor maze, when...
+  Soujyuro did not particularly care which one he chose, so, trusting his intuition, he made a run for the first-floor maze, when...
 "Ouch!"
   He smacked his head into a transparent wall.
-"A...mirror?!"
+"A...mirror!?"
 "That's right. It's annoying, but I guess this makes things fair.
   The chaser and the chased are on equal ground."
-  A somehow-cheerful voice echoed in his direction.
+  A somehow cheerful voice echoed in his direction.
   There was no need for Soujyuro to even turn around.
   In the very same mirror he had crashed into he could see Aoko Aozaki's figure slowly approaching.
 "You should know, I sealed off the first floor exit deeper inside. Physically, not with a Bounded Field.
@@ -4635,12 +4635,12 @@
   In the end...
   Even if Soujyuro had been the luckiest man alive, there was no way he should have been able to escape.
   The question, however, was how much of this was by design,
-  and how much was sheer coincidence.
+  and how much was sheer coincidence?
   Even Aoko, who had made all the arrangements, had no answer.
   Indeed, there were only three things she could say:
   It was taking longer than expected,
-  he was putting up more of a resistance than she had anticipated,
-  and that choosing the house of mirrors was a mistake.
+  he was putting up more resistance than she had anticipated,
+  and that choosing the house of mirrors had been a mistake.
   She had really screwed the pooch on this one.
   The location itself was an excellent choice, as the house of mirrors was perfect as a hunting ground. But seeing her own incompetence reflected in the mirrors was beginning to grate on her.
 "Ahhh!"
@@ -4648,31 +4648,31 @@
   A strobing series of blue flashes lit the room behind him.
   The hunter calmly followed her prey, and the prey desperately ran for his life up the stairs.
 "...Just what the doctor ordered.
-  We can't very well let the best laid plans go to waste now, can we?"
+  We can't very well let the best-laid plans go to waste now, can we?"
   In stark contrast to Soujyuro's frenzied escape, Aoko walked briskly up the stairs.
   She elected not to run after her prey in order to maintain a set distance.
-  As she lacked confidence in her accuracy, the hardest thing for her to deal with would be if he charged right at her and went down fighting.
+  As she lacked confidence in her accuracy, she would be the most challenged if Soujyuro bull-rushed her and went down fighting.
   But at a distance of thirty or so feet, he posed no threat.
   By the time her prey drew near, she could fire ten shots and hit with at least four of them.
   Their positioning just a moment ago hadn't been ideal.
-  At that distance, in a space that open, if he flanked and rushed her, there was a chance, however small, that it could turn into a fist fight.
+  At this distance, in a space this open, there was a chance, however small, that it could turn into a fistfight if he flanked and charged her.
   Currently, Aoko's best weapon was the bullets from her right arm.
   If she was going to capitalize on that advantage, it was in her best interest not to close the gap between them.
   If there was a good time to approach, it was only after her prey had become exhausted and had lost the will to continue.
   Would she pierce his leg? Shoot him in the back?
   Or, perhaps, would he just give up after losing himself in the labyrinth?
   The hunt would end when her target sustained some sort of injury and became unable to run.
-"...Nnnnh!"
+"...!"
   On Soujyuro's end, he could barely bite back on screaming as he bolted through the maze.
   Even running in a straight line had become difficult, much less searching for an exit.
-"Owww!"
+"Ow!"
   The corridor stretched out far before him...or so the mirrors blocking the path had made it seem.
   Panicked, he made a turn to the right.
-"Ouch!"
+"That hurt!"
   Clutching his head in his right arm, Soujyuro led with his left, groping through the air to see whether a wall was there or not.
-"...!"
+"Nngh!"
   He dove down the hall to the left, narrowly dodging the bullets targeting his life.
-"Haa... haa..."
+"Hah...haah...!"
   Urged on by the sound of approaching footsteps, he ran without thinking.
   That last one was close. A hair closer would have meant his life.
   He caught the odor of burnt hair from the back of his neck.
@@ -4681,8 +4681,8 @@
 If he were actually lucky, he would not be in this situation in the first place.
   The second floor of the house of mirrors was structured like a giant spiral.
   It wound left, starting from the outside wall.
-  Eventually it would lead to a dead end. The more he tried to escape, the more cornered he would become, as though he were trapped in a twisted guillotine.
-"..."
+  Eventually, it would lead to a dead end. The more he tried to escape, the more cornered he would become, as though he were trapped in a twisted guillotine.
+"Huff, huff..."
   His stifled screams threatened to leak out as complaints.
   No matter what he did, he was going to be killed. All of his struggling merely served to prolong the inevitable.
   Yet he ran.
@@ -4691,7 +4691,7 @@
   Pain shot through him at every turn.
   The more frantically he ran, the more intensely he smashed into the invisible walls.
   His body began to understand this rule and begged him not to run anymore.
-"Hah... Hah..."
+"Hah, hah!"
   His breath was already ragged after sprinting a couple hundred feet.
   No matter how he thought about it, this was not normal. This was way too crazy.
 This was all just a bad joke. If he turned around now, she would apologize to him for taking it too far.
@@ -4705,14 +4705,14 @@
   He was far from an innocent babe unable to comprehend life or fear.
   Rather, everything he had ever known became irrelevant when he was flung into a completely different cultural sphere.
   Even society's promises of safety―something urbanites took for granted―were threats unknown.
-  ...So he was used to this already.
+  ...So, he was used to this already.
   Though if he were to be honest, he was dissatisfied with some things.
   Things superfluous to necessity.
   This world was overflowing with valueless things, and they were all dangerous in some way.
   Even the everyday necessities sold at the convenience store were, as far as he was concerned, amazing tools.
   Civilization had raised the standard of living so high that it had numbed humanity's sense of danger.
-  The city's constant pursuit of wealth and convenience was a poison to a country boy like Soujyuro.
-  And he did not have the capacity to accept these conveniences.
+  The city's constant pursuit of wealth and convenience was a poison to a country boy like Soujyuro,
+  and he did not have the capacity to accept these conveniences.
   That it was possible for such conveniences to easily and suddenly be misused and cause unintended accidents had always made him anxious.
   Why?
   He had to wonder why he was even here.
@@ -4750,24 +4750,24 @@
   He was not bleeding, and was lucky he could still even scream.
   Yet, his body refused to move.
   Physically and mentally he still had something to spare.
-  The pain was not so bad that it was preventing him to stand up.
+  The pain was not so bad that he couldn't get back up.
   It was just that there was a skylight above him, and he could glimpse the dark of the night sky beyond.
   The feeling that overcame him was a raw, selfish bout of grief.
-  It was just so cruel.
-  To have to stare at that for the remainder of whatever short life he had left.
+  Oh, it was just so cruel―
+  to have to stare at that for the remainder of whatever short life he had left.
 "..."
   Soujyuro's ragged breath slowed.
   For all intents and purposes, he had given up.
-  He had given up running away from the sound of pursuing footsteps and perhaps even the problem at the root of everything.
+  He had given up fleeing from the pursuing footsteps, and perhaps, even the root of all his problems.
 (Well, at least it was Aozaki who got to kill me.)
-  Soujyuro Sizuki felt things that in any other circumstance he would never feel.
+  Soujyuro Sizuki felt things that, in any other circumstance, he would never feel.
   Incidentally...
 Without exaggeration or embellishment, this was the only mistake he had ever made in his entire life.
   Staring vacantly into the night sky above, Soujyuro listened as the footsteps drew nearer.
 "You give up?"
   It was the closest her voice had ever been to him.
   Perhaps feeling that he really had given up, she approached his collapsed form.
-  In the dark, mirror-lined corridor he could not make out her expression.
+  In the dark, mirror-lined corridor, he could not make out her expression.
   Without a word, Soujyuro raised his eyes to meet his murderer.
 "...I suppose if you don't care, you don't have to ask.
   You really do throw me off. Most people would ask me why I'm going to kill them right about now."
@@ -4784,7 +4784,7 @@
 I don't want to hear it."
   He responded in a mature, subdued voice.
 "..."
-  His response was clear-rather, gallantly so.
+  His response was clear―rather, gallantly so.
 "...I see.
   I'm still going to kill you. Aren't you scared of dying?"
 "Of course I'm scared. It'll probably hurt."
@@ -4876,7 +4876,7 @@
   Next time the puppet extended its arm, Aoko would fire a magic bullet as fast as she could.
   A battle at approximately thirty feet.
   As long as Aoko could secure a two-second window, she could create a counterattack to end their duel.
-It made its move.
+  It made its move.
   With its head tilted down, there was no expression to be seen. And in the darkness, its apparent age was impossible to make out.
   To the two humans, the puppet was not dissimilar to a faceless ghost.
   Its left arm slowly came up with a grinding sound.
@@ -4886,9 +4886,9 @@
 "It's changing it up. It's attacking from the left!"
 "Move it, Sizuki!"
   She threw herself into Soujyuro and extended her hand.
-Its arm extended at that very moment.
+  Its arm extended at that very moment.
   The timing was impeccable.
-  In a single second, Aoko's magic bullet scored a direct hit on the puppet's arm, reversing its trajectory and sending it crashing into the puppet's body with a violent explosion.
+  In a single second, Aoko's Snap bullet scored a direct hit on the puppet's arm, throwing off its trajectory and sending it crashing into the puppet's body with a violent explosion.
   ...Or at least, that is what would have happened had the magic formula been invoked.
 "Huh?!"
   She barely avoided being struck once again.
@@ -4915,7 +4915,7 @@
   However, this was ultimately a one-puppet show.
   An unprecedented source of power akin to autointoxication.
   As unbelievable as it seemed, the cycle of curses had been turned into a perpetual motion device.
-"You've got to be kidding me. Isn't this overkill?!"
+"You've got to be kidding me. Isn't this overkill!?"
   Aoko abandoned the idea of digging her heels in.
   It was time to flee with all due haste.
 "What do you think you're doing?! Come on!"
@@ -4932,7 +4932,7 @@
 "...My spine is numb, but it could be worse. My internal organs seem fine, and I don't think I'm bleeding internally."
   She cursed inwardly at how much of a mess she felt, though.
   Unlike Soujyuro, Aoko did not run into any transparent walls,
-  thanks not to superior sight, but rather preparation-she'd hammered the layout of the building into her memory.
+  thanks not to superior sight, but rather preparation―she'd hammered the layout of the building into her memory.
 "...You're really okay? How can you tell?"
 "Because it's my body. One of the first things a mage learns is how to keep track of your body."
   Aoko's matter-of-fact answer contrasted with Soujyuro's nervous questioning.
@@ -4940,15 +4940,15 @@
   At first, they were able to advance in a straight line for about a hundred feet at a time.
   But by now, they were forced to turn a corner every fifty feet or so.
 "Is that the one from... the other night?"
-"Probably the same pattern, at least. Whoever's behind it must be pretty wealthy to be throwing a valuable automata around like it's a toy."
+"Probably the same pattern, at least. Whoever's behind it must be pretty wealthy to be throwing a valuable automaton around like it's a toy."
 "..."
   Soujyuro furrowed his brows.
   He was grateful that she was answering his questions, but baffled by the strange words she was using.
 "Hold up, Aozaki. We've been running for a long time.
-  We're a good corner ahead of it, we can afford to rest a moment."
+  We're a good corner ahead of it. We can afford to rest a moment."
   His words suggested that he was still concerned about her injuries.
-  Aoko shook her heard in irritation.
-"Not enough against something with that kind of range. We need to keep running until we're two or three turns clear at least."
+  Aoko shook her head in irritation.
+"Not enough against something with that kind of range. We need to keep running until we're two or three turns clear, at least."
   Soujyuro nodded.
   With that matter settled, he asked,
 "Why didn't you leave me behind?"
@@ -4981,7 +4981,7 @@
   If it had been her roommate, the arm would have been repelled the instant it hit her and the attacker's circuits burned out, rather than her own.
   Attempting to establish a link to the Magic Circuits of another mage was like presenting your heart on a silver platter. It would be of no use in a battle against a superior mage.
   And yet, her adversary had been designed to do just that.
-  Coupled with the attacks on areas of Misaki under Aoko's jurisdiction these last few weeks, it was a clear statement from the enemy, who as of two days ago had revealed itself as a fellow mage.
+  Coupled with the attacks on areas of Misaki under Aoko's jurisdiction these last few weeks, it was a clear statement from the enemy, who had revealed itself as a fellow mage two days ago.
   In other words,
   the puppet saw Aoko as no threat at all.
 "...Hmph. Played right into their hands, huh."
@@ -4993,10 +4993,10 @@
   Soujyuro was not sure whether to be happy or sad at that.
 "This is all so confusing that I don't even know where to start, but can I ask just one question?"
   Aoko didn't respond. Her eyes were focused on the darkness before them.
-  The silence was heavy and the darkness was like a noose closing in on them.
+  The silence was heavy, and the darkness was like a noose closing in on them.
   But Soujyuro continued in spite of her indifference.
 "Are you going to kill her, too, Aozaki?"
-  A silence fell over them.
+  A stillness fell over them.
   It was as if the gloom was pulling them in.
 "..."
   No response.
@@ -5007,7 +5007,7 @@
   That's a sticking point for you, isn't it?"
   Aoko whispered in a lifeless tone.
   Her sigh was tinged with both resignation and contempt.
-"A sticky... what?
+"A sticky... what?"
 "Nothing. Forget it.
   But just so you know, that thing that's following us isn't human.
   You might not believe this, but it's a puppet that can move of its own will. Just like the one from the other night."
@@ -5016,7 +5016,7 @@
 "...You're awfully calm."
 "No way. I have no idea what's going on, so I'm just trying not to think too hard about it.
 The part about it being a puppet isn't too surprising to me, though."
-"What? Are you saying you've seen one before?!"
+"What? Are you saying you've seen one before!?"
 "What do you mean? Aren't all puppets in the city like that?"
 "Wha..."
   She barely stopped herself from falling to her knees.
@@ -5038,18 +5038,18 @@
   Her own mistaken assumptions had sent that situation spiraling out of control.
   But now that Soujyuro was involved, she had to make sure that her secret was safe with him.
   Even if there had been another, better option, that ship had sailed.
-  Human relationships were ultimately driven by mutual misunderstandings.
-  Like tapestries, woven from mismatched intentions.
+  Human relationships were ultimately driven by mutual misunderstandings;
+  they were like tapestries, woven from mismatched intentions.
   Breaktime was over.
   There stood Aoko Aozaki and Soujyuro Sizuki.
-  The first idle conversation they had since first meeting had come to an end,
-  not that they had a choice in the matter. It was the jarring murmuring from around the corner that cut it short.
+  Their first ever idle conversation had come to an end, not that they had a choice in the matter.
+  It was the jarring murmuring from around the corner that cut it short.
     "<Nemo meum funus meminit, qui doluit exstinctus est|Nobody remembers my funeral. My mourners have long since perished.>.
                     <Initio erraveramus. Dum vivimus dolores sunt|We were born wrong. Life is suffering.>.
                                           <Nemo adiuvat|Somebody save me.>."
   The enemy was just around the corner, visible in the mirrors parallel to it.
 "...We don't have time for this. We need to keep our dist―
- Huh?!"
+ Huh!?"
   In contrast to Aoko's elegant blues, its lights were a malicious red.
 "Gandr Shots!"
   There was a momentary flash of light, before she even extended her arm.
@@ -5057,15 +5057,15 @@
 "You're a real pain in the ass!"
   She channeled all of her pent-up anger and shunted it into her right arm.
   The fog that filled the corridor was no magical weaving, but rather a barrier of raw energy.
-  It was equivalent to setting blaze to three buckets of gasoline to create a wall of fire, in the hope it would stop an arrow in flight.
+  It was equivalent to setting ablaze three buckets of gasoline to create a wall of fire, in the hope it would stop an arrow in flight.
   If the puppet had attacked with its arm, it could have pierced such a wall easily. But, because it had loosed curses with no definite form, the wall of energy repelled the attack.
-  While it was a huge waste of magical energy, it was the only means Aoko had to protect herself in that very moment.
+  While it was a huge waste of magical energy, it was the only means Aoko had to protect herself at that very moment.
 "...Urgh."
-  Unfortunately, its protection was reserved to Aoko alone.
+  Unfortunately, its protection was reserved for Aoko alone.
   Soujyuro held his hand to his mouth.
   While the curse had been weakened to the point where Aoko could no longer feel it, it had plenty of effect on Soujyuro, who was not a mage.
   As if it understood this fact, the puppet turned its gaze from Aoko to the unanticipated human behind her.
-"Th-This has nothing to do with him!"
+"T-this has nothing to do with him!"
   Enraged, she swung her arm forward once again.
   The blue light formed a wall to block the Gandr for a scant few seconds.
   It was enough of an opening to exploit.
@@ -5087,7 +5087,7 @@
   If he had the stamina to pick her up and run, surely he could have stood up and escaped when he had been downed earlier.
 "Oh, that time I had given up."
   His words were unfiltered as ever.
-  Though in this moment, fighting for their lives, he lacked some of his usual absentmindedness.
+  Though right then, fighting for their lives, he lacked some of his usual absentmindedness.
 "...But why?"
 "Who knows? I've forgotten already."
   Though he may have turned away because he regretted saying it aloud, his words spoke volumes.
@@ -5106,7 +5106,7 @@
   Such an enemy would normally be a breeze for Aoko Aozaki.
   But her shameful negligence had led to the disruption of her Magic Circuits, making her even less formidable than her enemy.
   At this point, Aoko had no way of attacking.
-  The only option left to her was to wait for it to expend all of its magical energy, but its perpetual curse mechanism made that a nonstarter.
+  The only option left to her was to wait for it to expend all of its magical energy, but its perpetual curse mechanism made that a non-starter.
   This game of tag would not end until one of them was dead.
   She realized that she was in the same position she had cornered Soujyuro in earlier.
   She glanced at her right arm.
@@ -5132,7 +5132,7 @@
 "That thing'll kill anything it sees, so I have to destroy it here and now. It's okay for two mages to fight each other, but dragging normal people into the conflict is strictly forbidden.
   I'm the target, so this the best outcome for everyone, don't you think?"
   If Aoko won, the puppet would be destroyed.
-  If Aoko lost, its objective would be complete and it would shut down.
+  If Aoko lost, its objective would be complete, and it would shut down.
   Either way, them going their separate ways would mean Soujyuro survived.
   This is what Aoko meant.
   Though she explained it as if the events were happening to two totally different people.
@@ -5140,7 +5140,7 @@
   So, see you tomorrow then."
   Even Soujyuro could tell she was just trying to act tough.
   But she had already disappeared around the corner by the time he thought to stop her.
-"...Well then."
+"...Well, then."
   Mentally, Aoko bemoaned the disaster she was in.
   The quality of this puppet was on a completely different level compared to the one from the park two days ago.
   An auto-incanting perpetual motion machine was a rarity in and of itself, but this puppet was also equipped for battle with its extending arms and Gandr-projecting crystalline eyes.
@@ -5156,7 +5156,7 @@
   The corridor measured approximately thirty feet in length. Aoko lay in wait around a corner further down the hall, anticipating the puppet's appearance.
   This was not to buy Soujyuro time to escape. Far from it.
   Aoko had concluded that she couldn't make a break for it under the current circumstances.
-  Even if she did try to escape, and, by some miracle made it out of the house of mirrors, that was as far as she would go.
+  Even if she did try to escape, and―by some miracle―made it out of the house of mirrors, that was as far as she would go.
   Outside, with no cover, Aoko would quickly be overtaken and skewered from behind.
   As long as her magecraft was disabled, escape was impossible.
   Instead, she chose to force the enemy back.
@@ -5164,7 +5164,7 @@
   Though this narrow hall gave Aoko no place to run, it in turn prevented the puppet from reaching full speed.
   That was the weak point of this machine.
   Automata of its era had a tendency to struggle with minute changes in speed.
-"...<Connecting.|Set.>"
+"...<Connecting|Set.>."
   She flowed energy into her shorted circuits.
   Her blood flow and magical energy supply were unstable.
   It would be difficult to construct a formula in this state.
@@ -5177,9 +5177,9 @@
   The puppet's view of the world around it did not stem from visual feedback, but from mapping the topography of its surroundings.
   In theory, it was the same as a bat's echolocation. The environment could be measured based on the emission and return of high-frequency sound waves.
   Those chants served as sensor pulses. As far as the puppet was concerned, the mirrors were no better than transparent panes, making even the thought of an ambush laughable.
-"...The closer it gets, the more it's able to sense me.  I'd really rather fight it at a distance, but... if it's shooting Gandr, it's probably got at least a Finn Shot up its sleeve, too."
+(...The closer it gets, the more it's able to sense me.  I'd really rather fight it at a distance, but... if it's shooting Gandr, it's probably got at least a Finn Shot up its sleeve, too.)
   Gandr was Scandinavian in origin and, considering its simplicity, highly versatile. It was most effective at impairing a target's health by pointing a finger.
-  As a single-action magecraft it was limited to only causing illness, but there was a secret technique said to be the greatest mastery of the Gandr Shot...
+  As a single-action magecraft, it was limited to only causing illness, but there was a secret technique said to be the greatest mastery of the Gandr Shot...
   The Finn Shot.
   It could do more than cause simple illness. It was a deadly curse that could stop the heart.
 "...Nnngh."
@@ -5199,15 +5199,15 @@
 "..."
   She imagined herself collapsing, crumpling under the puppet's curse.
   Her eyeballs swollen like a blowfish, blood and other fluids oozing from every bodily orifice.
-One in five, one in five, one in five...
-A one in ten chance of death was bad enough, but one in five!? It drove her crazy.
+ One in five, one in five, one in five...
+ A one in ten chance of death was bad enough, but one in five!? It drove her crazy.
 "...But..."
   Aoko forced down her heart as it tried to escape from her mouth.
   Taking in a deep breath, she peered at her own reflection.
   She thought back to that white night, half a year ago.
   This, she decided, was nothing compared to that.
   Six months ago, at the Kuonji Estate...
-  The hound of white roses, the Wandersnatch, that appeared from within the thick fog, had killed Aoko a hundred times out of ten. 
+  The hound of white roses, the Wandersnatch that appeared from within the thick fog, had killed Aoko a hundred times out of ten. 
 "Mea anima immortalis. Autem mea futura necata sunt.
   Manes sum. Animam definire ambiguum est."
   A dark curse shattered Aoko's daydream.
@@ -5219,14 +5219,14 @@
   Just as Aoko planned, the curses fizzled out as they hit her mist-like barrier of magical energy.
   The protection would only last a few seconds.
   Giving her just enough time to...
-"...Come on!"
+(...Come on!)
   Its stretchable spear sprang toward Aoko's face!
 "Bingo!"
   The lethal weapon grazed her cheek.
   All her experience analyzing puppet attack patterns gave her the wherewithal to evade the attack by a hair's breadth.
   It was one thing if a puppeteer were pulling the strings, but autonomous dolls had their limitations.
   Aoko had bet everything on this killing machine following a predefined template. The puppet would use a given attack for a given range, and she could adjust her tactics to that.
-"Now's my chance!"
+(Now's my chance!)
   Before its arm had a chance to fully retract, she charged the puppet.
   It was a risky gamble, but her overall chances were slim to begin with.
   The scales tipped in her favor.
@@ -5250,12 +5250,12 @@
   Her abdomen, specifically her diaphragm, had been dealt a significant blow.
 The attack left her disoriented.
 Thankfully, the puppet was surprisingly lightweight.
-Her bones and organs were intact and she had sustained no life-threatening damage. She was having a hard time breathing, however.
-She was shaken, though she managed to keep her calm. In another two seconds, she'd be back on her feet-no, that was two seconds too long!
-  She told herself to calm down, that she was already calm. She'd only briefly lost her bearings, she was fine, she could recover her breath and her vision later if only her body would MOVE-
+Her bones and organs were intact, and she had sustained no life-threatening damage. She was having a hard time breathing, however.
+She was shaken, though she managed to keep her calm. In another two seconds, she'd be back on her feet―no, that was two seconds too long!
+  She told herself to calm down, that she was already calm. She'd only briefly lost her bearings, she was fine, she could recover her breath and her vision later if only her body would MOVE―
 "Intellectus non necessarius est. Pius quiescat.^ O nostra essentia ablata fuit,^ratio fixa tantum est.^ Doloris initium cerebrum fuit."
   Above her Aoko could hear the warped noise of a powerful force.
-"Come on legs, move! We've got to get to... to... Where!?"
+(Come on legs, move! We've got to get to... to... Where!?)
   She could once more feel the touch of death.
 "<Grant us salvation.|Iis salvatio.> <Grant us salvation.|Iis salvatio.> <Grant us salvation.|Iis salvatio.>"
   The puppet was so close that Aoko could reach out and touch it.
@@ -5305,13 +5305,13 @@
 "Watch out!"
   The moment she heard that fearless voice, completely out of place in this storm of violence, Aoko's body was pulled forcefully to one side.
   Once again, the extending arm cut through empty air.
-  While puppet quickly retracted its left arm, Soujyuro took the brief opportunity to take Aoko by the hand and flee at full speed.
+  While the puppet quickly retracted its left arm, Soujyuro took the brief opportunity to take Aoko by the hand and flee at full speed.
   Soujyuro ran through the corridor as fast as he could, only stopping when he had put enough distance between them and the puppet.
 "I was thinking and..."
   Though he had saved her, she looked angry rather than grateful.
 This did not keep Soujyuro from saying his piece.
 "Tomorrow is going to be a really busy day for me, so..."
-In other words, let's finish this today.
+  In other words, let's finish this today.
   A rather awkward proposal.
 "..."
   Aoko remained silent.
@@ -5326,7 +5326,7 @@
   In the heat of the moment, she blurted it before she could stop herself.
 "Or maybe you've got a death wish? Don't you realize that either of us could kill you with a snap of a finger?
   At the very least, I don't owe you a damn thing.
-  Saving my life doesn't a change a thing between us."
+  Saving my life doesn't change a thing between us."
   Soujyuro nodded, clearly unperturbed.
 "Don't worry, Aozaki. If tonight taught me anything, it's that you're more ruthless than that."
 "..."
@@ -5336,11 +5336,11 @@
   She was having none of it.
   Her eyes shot daggers his way.
 "And before you chew me out, you need to know something. Do you remember the first-floor entrance at the end of that long corridor?
-  Well it's blocked. I tried my best to find a way out, but no luck. There was no choice but to turn right back."
-  Aoko's eyes widened ever-so slightly in amazement.
-  Not out of shock, but rather admiration that her enemy would go to such lengths.
+  Well, it's blocked. I tried my best to find a way out, but no luck. There was no choice but to turn right back."
+  Aoko's eyes widened ever so slightly in amazement.
+  She felt admiration, rather than shock, that her enemy would go to such lengths.
 "And besides, it was hostile to me too earlier. I could tell by how it was glaring at me.
-  ...Well, happened so fast that I didn't really get a good look at it, but it was really unsettling. You should be careful. That thing... she sure has a terrifying face."
+  ...Well, it happened so fast that I didn't really get a good look at it, but it was really unsettling. You should be careful. That thing... she sure has a terrifying face."
 "...Gee, thanks."
 "You bet. I mean, I can't pretend like this isn't happening to me.
   Whichever of you wins, I'm a dead man either way, right?"
@@ -5380,19 +5380,19 @@
 "..."
   He spoke the truth. Aoko was the only one who knew both Soujyuro and the automata.
   That was why he pointed out that following her orders to the best of his ability was the only thing he could do.
-  It may have seemed as though Soujyuro had surrendered his capacity for self-thought, but in fact, in accepting that he was helpless he was in fact giving Aoko his complete trust.
+  It may have seemed as though Soujyuro had surrendered his capacity for self-thought, but in accepting that he was helpless, he was in fact giving Aoko his complete trust.
 "Fine, then. So you'll do exactly what I tell you to do?"
 "I will. And just so you know, I'm not doing this out of a sense of obligation or anything.
   It's just obvious that neither of us had a chance on our own. This isn't goodwill or kindness. It's a... transaction."
   His eyes sparkled, as if this was bartering in its truest form.
 "...Oh my god."
   This child must have learned that from Tobimaru, Aoko thought.
-  Though she refused to let him see it, underneath she cracked a smile.
+  Though she refused to let him see it, she smiled inwardly.
 Sure, he had gotten the best of her just now, but there were times when defeat was not the worse outcome in the world.
 "Honest pay for honest work. Makes sense.
   And... I hate to admit it, but..."
   She relaxed her shoulders and sighed.
-  Her face cracked into a wicked smile, as if her fears had suddenly washed away.
+  Her face cracked into a wicked grin, as if her fears had suddenly washed away.
 "Your plan is just my style."
   Aoko repaid Soujyuro's trust in equal measure.
   The melody stirred an emotion like nostalgia within them.
@@ -5459,13 +5459,13 @@
   Alice questioned her roommate of nearly two years.
 "..."
 "...You surprise me. Did you not say we would protect our secret together?
-  Are you still having trouble letting go of the other side? Or has compassion taken a hold of you?"
-"Not at all. This isn't compassion-I just feel like doing it this way."
+  Are you still having trouble letting go of the other side? Or has compassion taken hold of you?"
+"Not at all. This isn't compassion―I just feel like doing it this way.
   No plan survives contact with the enemy, you know that. The same goes for my mood.
 Besides, who goes out of her way to keep a promise
 she made forever ago? A little old-fashioned, if you ask me."
   The proverbial knives were out, now.
-  No quarter was given, no quarter taken.
+  No quarter was given nor taken.
   Sadly, their partnership was one of convenience, and had not reached the level of mutual understanding.
   Their version of friendship was both delicate and unique. When a conflict of opinion arose, each would refuse to budge until the other crumbled.
   Neither was concerned for the other's plight, and at least for now, that was how they liked it.
@@ -5477,22 +5477,22 @@
   As if making to move a chess piece, Alice lifted her slender finger.
 "Hm?"
   Even this simple action seemed mysterious to Soujyuro, the same boy who had been hunted by his classmate Aoko Aozaki and borne witness to an automaton.
-  Aoko's violence and an animated doll-
+  Aoko's violence and an animated doll―
   Though perhaps far beyond the realm of logic, both these things were derived from reality. As surprised as he had been, there was no need to think of them as total mysteries.
   However...
   When the thing appeared out of thin air from a seemingly unrelated gesture, he had no word for it besides "mysterious."
   Soujyuro stood motionless, captivated by this stage performer's magic trick, as the girl's single-finger magecraft turned into an attack directed at him.
   A blue light flew from the side to repel it, annihilating it without a trace.
-"Oh crap."
+"Oh, crap."
   Aoko immediately regretted her reflexive shot.
 "...What are you doing? You're not satisfied with breaking just our promise, so you must break the rules as well?"
-  The already-chilled midwinter air plunged below freezing.
+  The already chilled midwinter air plunged below freezing.
   Alice looked calm and collected on the outside, but in reality she was sometimes even more hot-blooded than Aoko.
-  Especially when it concerned her familiars.
-  Accidentally destroying one often would result in a week of silent treatment,
-  but maliciously destroying one... Alice would reserve the right to retaliate without fair warning.
+  This was especially true when it concerned her familiars.
+  Accidentally breaking one would often result in a week of silent treatment,
+  but against someone who maliciously destroyed her things, Alice was prone to retaliate without warning.
 "Whoops. I figured I'd do that someday, but I couldn't have picked a worse time..."
-  Though Aoko was shocked at the depth of her own stupidity, she also was in fact a little bit relieved.
+  Aoko sighed at herself. Even she was exasperated by her own stupidity, yet she couldn't help but feel a pang of relief.
   She did not intend to make any excuses, and she had no regrets.
   If she had broken the rules, then so had Alice.
 "Aoko."
@@ -5503,14 +5503,14 @@
   If there was anything for Aoko to regret, it was putting too little power into her shot.
 "I have a problem with this guy dying tonight.
   So, can we reschedule the execution? What difference does a day make?"
-  Taking on a pro bono case in the defense of Suspect S was the socially acceptable thing.
+  To Aoko, it was simply natural to take on a pro bono case in defense of an innocent suspect.
 "...Is this personal?"
 "So what if it is? You know that paying back my debts is pretty important to me."
 "More important than our agreement?"
 "Sure, depending on the time and place."
   Soujyuro's human rights had not yet entered the argument.
   The girls were busy pouring oil on each other's flames.
-  The girl clad in black was the first to move, or rather, to erupt.
+  The girl clad in black was the first to move―or rather, to erupt.
 "...I see. I understand how you feel, Aoko.
   But I am going to have to kill him here.
   I believe that you would let him live.
@@ -5526,7 +5526,7 @@
   once Alice began to fight as a witch, she became a heartless, unflappable monster.
   Aoko advanced another half step forward as if to encourage herself.
   It was too late to back down now. The situation was no longer a trivial quarrel over a witness.
-  The bedrock of their so-called friendship had nothing to do with their individual abilities, but everything to do with being equals in will.
+  The bedrock of their so-called friendship had nothing to do with their individual abilities, and everything to do with being equals in will.
   That is why, in order to stay true to herself, Aoko had no room for compromise or deception.
 "Of course. I'm going to make sure this idiot lives, even if it means killing you. And besides..."
   Her Magic Circuits howled as they kicked into gear.
@@ -5534,8 +5534,8 @@
 "We were going to end up killing each other in the end anyway!"
   Her courage overpowered any fear she had for her opponent.
   Tuning her body―her Magic Circuits―to become like the barrel of a gun, Aoko fired a magic bullet. It was an exceedingly basic magecraft formula.
-  There was no nature interference: no creating of wind, parting of water, or hastening of decay.
-  It was simply the process of converting the imaginary action known as magical energy into something real before releasing it as heat.
+  There was no nature interference: no creating of wind, parting of water, nor hastening of decay.
+  It was simply the process of converting the imaginary activity known as magical energy into something real, before releasing it as heat.
   Thus Aoko's destructive power was equal to her supply of magical energy.
   The magic bullets she had used against Soujyuro were among the most basic single-action magecraft that did not require an incantation.
   At her present ability, Aoko's main mode of attack―her magic bullet―could be fired at three levels of power.
@@ -5545,16 +5545,16 @@
   Without blinking, Alice dispersed the shot that Aoko had mustered all of her spirit to fire.
 "..."
   Aoko tutted in frustration.
-  A swift sneak attack, magecraft that used a simplified incantation, would not be enough to break Alice's guard.
+  A swift sneak attack that used a simplified incantation would not be enough to break Alice's guard.
 "As stiff as ever, I see. Don't you think that shell is making you complacent?"
   Aoko provoked Alice in order to disguise her own lack of composure.
   Somehow Alice seemed delighted by Aoko's bravado.
-"I suppose this is what they call 'fighting words.'"
+"I suppose this is what they call 'fighting words.'
   I've never fought to the death for such a trivial reason."
 "I'm really shocked. Humans are such conceited creatures."
   Alice giggled.
   Smiling with heartfelt amazement, Alice gestured her left hand toward the earth.
-  Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap.
+  <Stab.|Zap.> <Stab.|Zap.> <Stab.|Zap.> <Stab|Zap.>.
   Countless utensils shot out from underneath the cobblestones paving the plaza.
 "Sizuki, get back!"
 "...?"
@@ -5579,7 +5579,7 @@
   Wait, that's... Damn it! Fire!"
   Her shot was deflected with ease.
   Gone was Aoko's earlier bravado.
-  It was only natural-
+  It was only natural―
   Aoko had indeed grown as a mage.
   Over the last two years of study, her studies had progressed well,
   and she'd more or less gotten a grasp on her roommate's tendencies and abilities.
@@ -5590,9 +5590,9 @@
   Diddle Diddle fled as a new player stepped onto the stage.
   ...But from where would it enter?
   The sound of footsteps, a nostalgic parade, approached.
-"No... No way..."
-  Unfortunately it was true.
-  This was a miracle that Aoko Aozaki, an apprentice mage, had never witnessed.
+"No...way..."
+  What emerged...
+  was a miracle that Aoko Aozaki, an apprentice mage, had never witnessed.
   The dead came to life.
   The inanimate awakened.
   The woods were enveloped by the mists.
@@ -5610,20 +5610,20 @@
   The witch in black laughed at her friend,
   her musical mirth filled with affection, sadness, and innocent delight.
   But hope was something ever fleeting.
-  It lasted not even three hundred yards.
+  In fact, it lasted not even three hundred yards.
   The edge of the amusement park may well have been the edge of the world.
   Dozens of undulating horizons could be seen,
   crowding the sky like a giant cloud, or a thick curtain,
   or perhaps, groaning lips.
-  It was the end of the road, the outer limit of an outrageous and fantastical realm.
+  It was the end of the road; the outer limit of an outrageous and fantastical realm.
   And yet...
   Aoko found it to be much like the last page of an enormous picture book.
 "..."
   The sight turned her mind blank.
   "Well, this is about as bad as it gets," she thought.
-  The Snark―this island of despair―had at last brought Aoko to her knees as she stared at the swelling border.
+  The Snark―this island of despair―had, at last, brought Aoko to her knees as she stared at the swelling border.
   The park indeed had an end.
-  Even now as Aoko and Soujyuro had expected it to be, a fence divided the amusement park from the residential area neighboring it.
+  Even now, as Aoko and Soujyuro had expected, a fence divided the amusement park from the residential area neighboring it.
   It had both doubled in height and been made sturdier, another hurdle she had foreseen before even laying eyes on it.
   Expecting it to have been Snarkified, Aoko had come prepared to demolish an obstacle or two.
   But this...
@@ -5673,10 +5673,10 @@
   She was telling him to escape by himself.
 "It's not possible.
   You can't destroy them by yourself, Aozaki."
-"If I were by myself, you'd be right. But right now the park is actually helping me. With this much fuel, all I need to do is aim and pull the trigger. All it needs is one good blast.
+"If I were by myself, you'd be right. But right now, the park is actually helping me. With this much fuel, all I need to do is aim and pull the trigger. One good blast should be enough.
   That said, I'll only be able to do it once, so as soon as I open a hole, I need you to run like your life depends on it."
   She would carve a path through this iron sea of fences,
-  gambling on one final effort―a great incantation to launch a massive projectile that pushed her limits to the extreme.
+  gambling on one final effort: a great incantation to launch the biggest projectile she could manage.
 "..."
   As an outsider, Soujyuro could not even begin to imagine just how much of a burden this would be for her. All he could imagine was a hazy vision of Aoko being left behind in this park.
   What would happen to her?
@@ -5689,7 +5689,7 @@
 It'll take time to cast, but I'll make sure to finish this before that egg gets hardboiled."
   It went without saying that this was the only path.
 "Wait. I want to know.
-  Is there even a point to letting me go?"
+  Is there even a point in letting me go?"
 "None. Even once you get out, there's no way you'll be able to escape Alice forever.
 But I'm stubborn to the very end. I said I'd protect you, so I'm damn well going to do my best to keep you alive."
   Surprised by her seemingly moral stance, Soujyuro saw Aoko in a new light.
@@ -5698,8 +5698,8 @@
 "...Right. I guess you did say that.
   But it's not like you to let me go by myself."
 "Oh, give me a break! Just move already!"
-  For some reason, Aoko took a step away from him.
-  She was recalling how, an hour ago, he had gotten the better of her.
+  Aoko eased off, just a bit.
+  She recalled how, an hour ago, he had gotten the better of her.
 "Aozaki. If you're still willing to fight, then let's do it some other way.
   If you can destroy that monster of a fence, then let's put your power to better use."
 "There isn't anything else I can do! Sorry, but all I can do is destroy what I can see. Dying for some forlorn hope isn't how I want to go out.
@@ -5715,22 +5715,22 @@
 "Huh?! YOU help ME?! Talk about a waste of time!
   Now you're really pissing me off. Just get out of here, you dimwit! What use do I have for a dunce whose special power is running himself ragged?!"
 "I may be pretty exhausted,
-but you're in worse shape, Aozaki. Just look at yourself. You're tired and injured."
+ but you're in worse shape, Aozaki. Just look at yourself. You're tired and injured."
   Not to mention the injury to her back that Aoko had  nearly forgotten about.
-  Even now, she couldn't ignore the pain that automaton had inflicted on her spine.
+  Even now, she couldn't ignore the pain that the automaton had inflicted on her spine.
   With iron will, she'd managed to push it out of her mind. Mostly.
-"Even without any of that magecraft stuff I'm still in better shape than you are. I could probably even carry you all the way to the entrance if I needed to."
+"Even without any of that magecraft stuff, I'm still in better shape than you are. I could probably even carry you all the way to the entrance if I needed to."
 "Don't make promises you can't keep.
   Just... go. I'm used to this, and you're not. This is your first time facing this sort of thing, right?
   So, it's okay."
   The fact that they were a team...
   The fact that she would still have to kill him after all of this...
   None of the irony was lost on her as she said these words.
-  Because none of it mattered anymore.
-  Still, Soujyuro didn't let go of her hand.
-  He gripped it even harder.
+  It didn't matter anymore.
+  Still, Soujyuro didn't let go of her hand;
+  he gripped it even harder.
   His expression was the same as ever. Aoko frowned, trying to figure out if he was upset with her.
-"You're right, this is my first time with this sort of thing.
+"You're right. This is my first time with this sort of thing.
   But I've experienced my own fair share of danger in the mountains. I've even been attacked by a deer, you know."
 "..."
   As a city girl, she had no idea what it meant to be attacked by a deer, but his determination was apparent enough.
@@ -5742,7 +5742,7 @@
   He spoke his plain, unadulterated feelings,
   and released his hand.
   There was no lie in him.
-  In fact, he was too honest; so much so that she found it hard to believe him.
+  In fact, he was too honest; so much that she found it hard to believe him.
   Soujyuro had no reason to go that far.
   As it stood, Aoko had no future.
   After confessing this and telling him to escape, why did this boy still offer to help a person like her?
@@ -5754,7 +5754,7 @@
   This level of insight in Soujyuro demanded a round of applause.
 "If I do, you'll die, Aozaki."
   His words were as irrational as always.
-"But why?! Why do it? Why go so far for me?!"
+"But why!? Why do it? Why go so far for me!?"
   She was yelling out of frustration.
   After thinking for a moment, Soujyuro replied.
 "I guess it's because... I like you."
@@ -5782,8 +5782,8 @@
   It was only natural. Aoko had not even a clue as to how to begin to fight the Snark.
   If only she had been just a bit more skilled, or had trained just a bit more, there might have been some way to look for it.
 "I'm better than this. If only I had a way to peel back its true form."
-  Without realizing, she let her apprehension show.
-  Whining was pointless.
+  Unconsciously, she let her apprehension show.
+  Sniveling was pointless.
   She would just have to figure it out by herself, but―
 "Hmm? What, that's all we need to figure out?"
 "Huh?"
@@ -5798,7 +5798,7 @@
   but then again, equally obvious. After he explained the mistake, she knew right away that he was correct.
   At last, she had an inkling of Flat Snark's original form. Namely...
   They strategized for ten minutes.
-  After deliberation regarding the Snark's true form and figuring a plan of attack, the two exchanged nods in acceptance of their roles.
+  After deliberating the Snark's true form and figuring out a plan of attack, the two exchanged nods in acceptance of their roles.
 "We'll be splitting up now.
   Just don't make it a repeat of the blunder in the house of mirrors. You're the crux of this operation. If you bungle the start even a little, there's no coming back from this one."
   Though she jabbed him for his previous failure as a decoy, her voice was bright.
@@ -5806,31 +5806,31 @@
   Meanwhile, Soujyuro was also getting serious in his own way.
   He took Aoko's warning to heart.
 "Good. But remember that our positions are reversed this time.
-  If we fail, I'm not the one who's going to die, it's you. I won't be there to clean up your mess, so watch your step."
+  If we fail, I'm not the one who's going to die―you are. I won't be there to clean up your mess, so watch your step."
 "I know. After all this, I regret what not taking your advice earlier. I'll be careful."
   Soujyuro nodded, telling her to leave it to him. Though he made it sound like he was holding a grudge, it seemed to him to be the only way of showing her his resolve.
   Aoko let out a sigh of defeat. Once more, she couldn't figure him out.
 "Seriously, I can't tell if you're a big idiot or a big hero.
   Whichever one it is, I'm counting on you. Don't let me down."
-  She had wanted to say that she believed in him, but apparently that was too embarrassing for her.
+  She had wanted to say that she believed in him, but apparently, that was too embarrassing for her.
   Aoko turned away from Soujyuro and began to run.
   She had begun to think that maybe this change of pace was not so bad after all.
   And so ended the intermission.
-  The young cast were handed their new lines.
-  But what of the climax?
-  At long last, this night of witches had entered its climax.
+  The young cast members were handed their new lines.
+  Whatever happened next,
+  the night of witches had, at long last, entered its climax.
 "...They split up? You're sure?"
   She was filled with foreboding at the robin's report.
   Apparently, they had gone in opposite directions.
   The park's residents had set off after the boy witness, and it would take them mere minutes to capture him, so the bird said.
 "What do you mean? Is it actually him they're following? Not Aoko in disguise?"
   The robin flapped its wings, chirping away any doubt.
-  It had seen them with its own two eyes. Aoko was heading for the plaza and the cocky brat was making a run for the roller coaster.
+  It had seen them with its own two eyes. Aoko was heading for the plaza, while the cocky brat was making a run for the roller coaster.
 "Are you saying that Aoko abandoned him?
   ...It sounds a little too good to be true.
  Is Dumpty still on his tail?"
   The robin nodded enthusiastically.
-  It didn't know about the other birds, but with its superior night vision, it had seen "that sucker" clearly because he had moved to a high point.
+  It didn't know about the other birds, but with its superior night vision, it had seen that sucker clearly because he had moved to a high point.
 "And Dumpty?
   He said to let him sing to the very end? That he may never get the chance again to do so for a fool this asinine?"
   Scratch Dumpty was a ticking time bomb that would drop and detonate the moment its target averted its gaze.
@@ -5857,25 +5857,25 @@
   It was the one thing that Alice had misread.
 Flat Snark was a king, even among the other Ploys, of terrible, vulgar antics.
   Death to the defeated. Gruesome tragedy to the vanquished.
-It found no pleasure unless it brought about total ruination of life and wealth.
+It found no pleasure unless it brought about dramatic ruination of life and wealth.
 "―――――――――"
   The fog billowed like wicked laughter.
   After all, only a king had the right to decide the fate of the vanquished, and the Snark's greed could not be contained.
   Thus...
   It hadn't even the slightest intent to play fair, despite its master's orders.
   Over one hundred feet high.
-  One careful step at a time, the figure made its way gingerly up the track stretching into the heart of the amusement park.
-"-, -"
+  One careful step at a time, the figure made its way gingerly up the track which stretched into the heart of the amusement park.
+"―, ―"
   He stayed his beating chest and the pounding of his breath.
   Even tiny movements were an obstacle to his progress.
   Amazingly, the one making this pale-faced advance higher and higher was Soujyuro Sizuki.
-  Far below, he saw a horde of bread creatures had congregated by the roller coaster platform.
+  Far below, he saw that a horde of bread creatures had congregated by the roller coaster platform.
   As they bustled this way and that, their numbers continued to increase by the minute, seemingly cheering on Soujyuro with raised arms as he made his ascent.
-  Or jeered him more like, beckoning him to come down.
+  Or rather, they jeered as if beckoning him to come down.
 "...Well, at least they don't like heights."
-  Of course, Soujyuro neither did Soujyuro, but his current state was the lesser of two evils.
+  Of course, neither did Soujyuro, but his current state was the lesser of two evils.
   The only thing that followed him now was the floating egg.
-  After heaving a huge sigh, Soujyuro bent forward a bit and climbed the track that reached to the heavens.
+  After heaving a huge sigh, Soujyuro bent forward a bit and climbed the track that inclined toward the heavens.
   One hundred and fifty feet now.
   If this were a skyscraper, he would be on the sixteenth floor.
 "...!"
@@ -5897,22 +5897,22 @@
 "Wait. Would Aozaki have been so worried if I wasn't tired?"
   Soujyuro laughed as he stared at the floating egg.
   He reflected on the course of events that had led to this absurd situation.
-  Not even ten minutes ago they had been engaged in conversation.
+  Not even ten minutes ago, they had been engaged in conversation.
 "Okay. Since we know what form it's taken, we need to talk about how we're going to destroy it."
   Soujyuro felt a shudder travel down his spine at Aoko's smug grin.
   In hindsight, Aoko had been more than happy at this point to make him do something absurd.
-"So by 'destroy it,' you mean we're going to..."
-  Soujyuro had spoken up figuring that what he was about to say was silly, especially considering Aoko had the magecraft to tear clean through the fence.
-  Furthermore, up till now, he had not once offered his insight as to the true form of Flat Snark only due to his belief that there was nothing they could have done about it even if they were the wiser.
+"How we're going to destroy it? Can't you just..."
+  Soujyuro wondered aloud; from what he'd seen, Aoko had enough firepower to tear clean through the fence.
+  He'd refrained from speculating about Flat Snark's true form because he'd felt there was nothing they could do about it, even if they knew.
   But that had changed.
   For Aoko, the impossible was quite literally within her grasp.
-"I know what you were going to say, and no. By my estimate, I wouldn't get within a hundred and fifty feet of the thing."
+"It won't be that easy. By my estimate, I wouldn't get within a hundred and fifty feet of the thing."
   Despair filled Soujyuro's eyes.
-  Aoko lifted a hand to her long hair and, with the magical energy in her fingertip, cut a clean tuft from her head.
-"Not if we make up the difference with some elbow grease.
+  Aoko lifted a hand to her long hair and, with a magically charged fingertip, clipped a clean tuft of it.
+"But we can make up the difference with some elbow grease.
   Get to the highest place you can. When the time is right, I'll give you a sign. Just toss this into the air. That's all you need to do."
   But based on where Aoko pointed her gaze, she did not really mean to leave it up to Soujyuro to pick the highest place he could find.
-  Aoko was staring conspicuously at one of the amusement park's two main attractions: the roller coaster.
+  She was staring conspicuously at one of the amusement park's two main attractions: the roller coaster.
 "...So, in other words, you're saying we split up, then you want me to run away from the monsters chasing me and escape to somewhere high, right?"
 "Exactly. And hey, wouldn't you know it, the tracks of that winding roller coaster are perfect!"
   There were two demons in this park.
@@ -5928,10 +5928,10 @@
 "...?"
   It was the lightest of touches.
   Close enough for their breath and skin to come in contact.
-"... But Ao..."
+"...Ao―"
   "...-zaki," he finished with a hushed voice.
   For one of them, this was a rather mundane magecraft.
-  For the other, it was a head-spinning sneak attack of intimacy.
+  For the other, it was a head-spinning, intimate ambush.
             "<The weight of the air, the tremble of one's breast|Be light and frail, nimble and fast.>.
                     <Light lags behind while shadows pull ahead.|Tick-tock, tick-tock, there's no time to waste.>"
   Words that could not be produced by a normal larynx, carrying a peculiar weight to them, reverberated against his eardrums.
@@ -5940,8 +5940,8 @@
         "<A bird in the sky, a fish in the sea, you in the distance|Fly, swim, run.>.
         <Stuff doubt and anxiety in a sack.|Tick-tock, tick-tock.> <Begin the journey at dawn|Sound the alarm.>.
         <A shining star falls,|The star is always in the northern sky,> <into your heart.|no matter where you go.>"
-  In reality it took but a few seconds.
-  But the sudden contact had felt a little longer, until it ended 
+  In reality, it took but a few seconds,
+  but the sudden contact had felt a little longer.
 "Mesmerize successful! ...I think. This is the first time I've actually felt it take!
   I guess all those lectures from Alice paid off!"
   A very merry Aoko stood aside a very confused Soujyuro.
@@ -5951,15 +5951,15 @@
   If you don't feel fear, then no matter how high you climb, it's no different from walking a balance beam!"
 "..."
   He seemed to get it...
-  It actually all sounded like Greek to Soujyuro, but he accepted it as an explanation of her strange actions.
+  It actually all sounded like Greek to Soujyuro, but he accepted it as an explanation for her strange actions.
 "Hah... Finally, I made it."
   He'd arrived at the summit of the track.
-  At a height of nearly two hundred feet, Soujyuro had a bird's-eye view of the entire amusement park.
+  From nearly two hundred feet high, Soujyuro had a bird's-eye view of the entire amusement park.
   He was able to spot Aoko's figure right away.
   In the plaza not so far from here, she seemed to be occupied with something conspicuous.
   Her surroundings lay still.
-  The bread men were still busy trying to figure how to reach Soujyuro by trial and error from the roller coaster's entrance.
-  They had over three hundred feet of distance to cover.
+  The bread-men were still busy trying to figure how to reach Soujyuro by trial and error from the roller coaster's entrance.
+  They were over three hundred feet away, now.
 "No wonder I'm drenched in sweat. Look how much ground I've covered."
   The strong winter gales quickly dried the sweat on his brow, but he was drenched underneath his shirt.
   This much sweat was worth at least a half-mile run, not to mention all the scares he had experienced throughout the night.
@@ -5977,19 +5977,19 @@
   Aoko had said, but it was Soujyuro's effort that had set the plan in motion.
   The tuft of hair remained airborne, drifting as if watching over its owner.
   Soujyuro's job was done.
-  His remained concerned about the egg hovering over him, but there was nothing he could do about it.
+  He remained concerned about the egg hovering over him, but there was nothing he could do about it.
   Soujyuro breathed a sigh of relief, and leaned forward to watch the rest of the plan unfold, but then...
 "Hmm?"
   In the corner of his eye,
   he thought he spotted something familiar approaching Aoko.
-"<Connecting to Crest.|Routing... Set.>"
-  Direct current: First layer, second layer... third layer in reserve.
-  Magical energy supply fixed to greater source.
-  Flow, check. Angle, check. Formula stability, good enough."
+"<Connecting to Crest|Route, set.>.
+  Direct current crests: First layer. Second layer. Third layer, reserved.
+  Magical energy supply fixed to Greater Source.
+  Flow, check. Angle, check. Formula stability...good enough."
   A pattern began to carve itself into the brick street.
   The casting of an unprecedented incantation with unprecedented range.
   Keeping the rising tension contained within her chest, the fledgling mage snapped her fingers.
-"Done. <Bullet configuration|Tour Plan>:<convergent launch!|Starmine!>"
+"Done. <Bullet configuration|Tour Plan>: <convergent launch!|Starmine!>"
   She kneeled at the center of the formula and raised her head to the night sky.
   Not even a glimpse of the transmogrified fantasy land around her entered her vision now.
   Only one thing, one untouchable thing, was reflected in her blue eyes.
@@ -5997,18 +5997,18 @@
   This is how their conversation started a few minutes prior.
   Soujyuro began with a simple statement of fact.
   In truth, it really was the simplest of discrepancies.
-  Between the reality of an hour ago and the illusion of the present; a difference both infinitesimal and infinite at the same time.
+  Any difference between the reality of an hour ago and the illusion of the present was both infinitesimal and infinite.
 "I thought maybe I didn't know what I was looking at because of the clouds..."
-  It was something hiding in plain sight.
-  Something both seemingly impossible in reality and unusual given its location.
+  It was hiding in plain sight―
+  too impossible to be real, too outlandish to be here.
   In this amusement park where every paradigm had shifted, something was brazenly flaunting its normalcy.
 "Tonight is supposed to be a new moon, Aozaki."
-"Yeah... Come to think of it, that was its original form."
+"Yeah...come to think of it, that's actually what you started as."
   The distance from the Earth to the moon was 238,900 miles.
   If it truly was identical to the actual moon, then this monster indeed lived up to its eerie reputation.
-  A distance that far would have meant that it had no need to hide its form. It could flaunt its true form in front of all.
-  But due to the very fact that it was hiding its true form, it meant it must have been within reach.
-  That monster's camouflage implied that it sat within the reach of human hands.
+  At a distance that vast, there would have been no need to hide. It could flaunt its true form for all to see.
+  But if it had to hide its true form, that meant it was vulnerable.
+  The monster's camouflage implied that it sat within the reach of human hands!
 "At best, my max range is 650 yards or so..."
   At this point, it was time to give it all she had.
   Drawing on the energy surging throughout the park, she extended her firing arm.
@@ -6032,7 +6032,7 @@
 "Snark!"
   The robin swooped in to give its report, but Alice waved it away. Her gaze was fixed on the transforming golden moon.
   Her calls of restraint did not reach it.
-This fairy-tale monster was beholden to nobody, and it would have no qualms unleashing its vast might upon its puny prey.
+  This fairy-tale monster was beholden to nobody, and it would have no qualms unleashing its vast might upon its puny prey.
   The core of her magic bullet howled.
   The Magic Circuits within her body spun.
   Aoko fed them magical energy, scorching her nerves with imaginary flame.
@@ -6040,7 +6040,7 @@
   The spell was read and executed the same as it always was, but its output was beyond reckoning.
   With this much firepower, even this mundane process would invite injury upon its caster.
   It was enough to burn up the nerves that were acting as the barrel.
-"Hnnngh... I can... do this!"
+"Rrgh! I can...do this!"
   The imaginary heat had reached a terrifying temperature.
   Aoko trembled at this endless feeling, but would have to grin and bear it lest their efforts come to naught.
   Aoko could no longer move.
@@ -6050,22 +6050,22 @@
   Once the fuse was lit, she would have no choice but to fight to the bitter end.
   Aoko took a deep breath; this was the way she wanted it.
   Her preparations were complete. She would be able deliver this maelstrom of magical energy directly to the moon, like a rocket payload!
-  The third layer floating in midair served as the cannon's muzzle and sight. It would fire the magical energy once it reached criticality, and it allowed Aoko to adjust the angle of fire.
-"Fog...?"
+  The third midair layer served as the cannon's muzzle and sight. It would fire the magical energy once it reached criticality, and it allowed Aoko to adjust the angle of fire.
+(Fog...?)
   The moon became warped within her scope.
-  As Aoko charged her magical energy, the Ploy displayed its golden form, as if to mock her.
+  As Aoko charged her magical energy, the Ploy displayed its golden form as if to mock her.
   Come. Worship the heavens, powerless scion of an innocent bloodline.
   For there it was, a point among the otherworldly sky,
   a Mystical visage obfuscated by jade mists and azure clouds.
   Called the greatest treasure known to the world of magecraft,
   a rarity more valuable than an entire kingdom: Crown Phantasm.
 (That's it! That's Flat Snark!)
-  Set apart from the very beginning, the world's greatest fabrication!
-(N-Not yet! Just need a little more time...)
+  Set apart from the First, the world's greatest fabrication!
+(...Not yet! Just need...a little more time...)
   Her instincts screamed at her to delay no further.
-  This fairy-tale monster was the greatest of its kind, and its true form was about to be exposed.
-  Its open hostility indicated that it was making preparations for a counterattack.
-(I can't move! Not with an incantation this large! If it attacks before me, it's all over!)
+  This fairy-tale monster was the greatest of its kind, and it was about to expose its true form.
+  Its open hostility made it clear that it was ready to counterattack!
+(I can't move! Not with an incantation this long! If it attacks before me, it's all over!)
   She had to shoot it down first.
   Magical energy was at eighty percent. The formula was operating normally. All that was left was to pull the trigger, but...
   The calm voice inside her head asked if that was really okay.
@@ -6074,8 +6074,8 @@
   Was she ready for the pain? Was she ready to deal with the fallout if she missed?
   Could she really even take down the moon with such a tiny bullet in the first place?
 (Enough! Shoot first, ask questions later!)
-  Her eyes, fixed upon the moon, were filled with determination
-  and an awareness that the moment she fired, the intense recoil would overwhelm her entire body. She shouted,
+  Her eyes, fixed upon the moon, were filled with determination.
+  She knew that the moment she fired, the intense recoil would overwhelm her entire body. Still, she shouted,
 "...Bring it on!
   I'm gonna send this thing spinning with all I've got!"
   With every ounce of spirit she possessed, she fired her ultra-long-range projectile into the sky.
@@ -6095,27 +6095,27 @@
   Even though her vision had gone white, she could still see it.
   Swallowing the blood in her mouth, Aoko looked up with a scowl.
   There it was,
-an enormous shield of ice and a sneering, deformed skull.
-(Did I fire too late? Did I fire too early?!
+ an enormous shield of ice and a sneering, deformed skull.
+(Did I fire too late? Did I fire too early!?
   Should I have shot before it made that shield?
-  Was it too reckless to shoot it head-on?!)
-"Who cares?!
+  Was it too reckless to shoot it head-on!?)
+"Who cares!?
   First layer, second layer, reactivate! Hurry!"
   There was no time to think or hesitate.
   The magical energy throughout the park began to gather.
   Aoko knelt,
   across from the tyrannical face of the moon.
-  Aoko intuited that the ice had yet to fully form; Flat Snark still hadn't reached its full strength.
+  She intuited that the ice had yet to fully form; Flat Snark still hadn't reached its full strength.
   Which was exactly why...
-(Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!)
-  By accelerating the spell, Aoko had damaged her own body.
-  Aoko sat up and braced herself for the pain caused by the load placed on the formula after linking with the Snark. All she could do was endure it.
+(Dammit... Dammit, dammit, dammit!)
+  By accelerating the spell, Aoko damaged her own body.
+  The burden of linking the formula to the Snark caused intense pain. All she could do was grit her teeth and endure it.
   All because...
 (That ice is tougher than my best shot!)
   Aoko had gotten a read on their relative strengths.
-  Even if its volume of magical energy was identical, Snark's form―its Mystic―was in a different league.
-  Even if Aoko charged her energy to her absolute limit, she would barely make a dent in the ice wall.
-  Meaning, if the Snark gathered as much energy as it could, there was nothing she could do to prevent her annihilation.
+  Even if its volume of magical energy was identical, Snark's form―its Mystic scale―was in a different league.
+  Aoko could charge her energy to her absolute limit, and that would barely make a dent in the ice wall.
+  Meanwhile, there was nothing she could do to prevent her own annihilation if the Snark gathered as much energy as it could...!
 "Then, before that happens...!"
   She loaded her next shot.
   She issued orders to the floating third layer.
@@ -6128,31 +6128,31 @@
   The expansion of internal time...
   The liquefaction of the self...
   The release from the physical...
-  What one might call a near-death experience...
-  Aoko stood face-to-face with reality on the boundary between it and such concepts.
+  They were all what one might call a near-death experience.
+  On the precipice of what lay beyond, Aoko stood firm, and faced reality.
 "..."
-  And that reality was here to break her will.
-  To any bystander, the gap between them would be plain to see.
+  Still, reality had come to break her will.
+  The gap between them was plain to any observer.
   The gun barrel named Aoko Aozaki...
-  She had not a chance to chip away at that lump of ice.
-(This pain...!)
+  ...had not a chance to chip away at that lump of ice.
+(Argh! So―)
   She accelerated the spell further.
   The skull grinned.
  That ice was no shield.
- It was something to be used to crush mages who did not know their place.
+ It was a hammer to crush mages who did not know their place.
  The moon laughed as it prepared to crush not just Aoko, but the boy atop the roller coaster, as well as the park in its entirety.
-(Come on, give me more!!!)
+(SO WHAT IF IT HURTS!?)
   Her circuits were on the verge of going critical.
-Her body had been charged with a scorching power supply from her fingertips to her eyeballs.
-  She would see to it that the bullet fired.
-  That the magecraft formula would be strengthened as quickly as her nerves' transmission speed would allow.
+Her body had been charged with a scorching power supply, from her fingertips to her eyeballs.
+  She would see the bullet fired.
+  She would arrange the magecraft formula as quickly as her nerves' transmission speed would allow.
   A single attack was not enough.
   There was no way to shoot it from its flank.
   Which meant there was only one solution.
 "<Reconnecting to alternating current!|Alternate selector!>"
   The third layer began to transform.
   It switched from direct to alternating current. The spell's supposed strong point was its ability to adjust its trajectory mid-flight, but right now all she wanted was numbers.
-"<Connecting.|Set.>... Octogram!
+"<Connecting.|Set.> Octogram!
   All layers, max rotation!"
   A blue sun shined down upon the amusement park.
   Beams of light at maximum output streaked forth to pierce the golden moon.
@@ -6168,7 +6168,7 @@
   The battle had become a tussle over the magical energy that filled the park.
   From the very beginning, this had been the Snark's home turf.
   The Snark had control over at least eighty percent of the space, while Aoko had twenty at best.
-"N-No... I...can't...stop it!"
+"No... I...can't...stop it!"
 (No...)
   The castle of ice descended as if to call the match.
 "Ah...AaaAAAhhhHHH!"
@@ -6176,23 +6176,23 @@
   She knew that she had been backed into a wall, and right now, the only thing she could do was to keep firing.
   Then again, perhaps not. There was another option.
   If she converted all of her magical energy into a defense, there was a tiny chance―no, not tiny. A great possibility, in fact, that she could save just her―
-Shut up and do it already!
-  Not even that ice has a chance against all the magical energy here!
+(Shut up and do it already!
+  Not even that ice has a chance against all the magical energy here!)
   Clinging to that broken hope, Aoko continued to rotate her circuits.
   Time seemed to stop at the magical energy overdose.
   A second of intense pain lasted an eternity.
   Then, amidst everything...
-"Huh?"
+(Huh?)
   Something approached one step at a time.
   Something from among the park's shadows.
   Something...
  Something...
  Something...
-(W-Wait...)
+(Wai―)
   She felt goosebumps from head to toe.
   The issue was no longer the ice overhead.
   In the midst of this stillness, the red death drew closer, step by ominous step.
-(Why here, why now?)
+(Why here? Why now!?)
   Her circuits and her mind began to rupture out of terror.
   The composition of her formula and soul began to rip apart.
   There it was, just behind her.
@@ -6208,13 +6208,13 @@
   Use whatever you can, and show no mercy!
   That was it.
   She had one final card to play.
-  A miracle that would treat that ice like nothing more than a toy, gifted to her as a mere amusement.
+  Once, a miracle had been gifted to her, almost as a joke. It made the ice look like child's play.
                     That was what the red death had come to kill.
   Using it would spell ruin.
-  And not using it would mean death by ice.
-  But why would Aoko hesitate?
-  There were no conditions limiting her.
-  There would be no price to pay by employing it here.
+  Not using it would mean death by ice.
+  Then, why hesitate?
+  There were no conditions on its use.
+  There was no price to pay for its power.
   She simply would cease to be herself.
   That was all.
   Humans loved to exist in areas of gray.
@@ -6233,7 +6233,7 @@
   She woke from her momentary hallucination.
   The very illusion her breaking soul had shown her.
   Whining had had the opposite effect on her; her pride was now ablaze.
-"You can escape, too."
+"So you're going to run from this responsibility, too?"
   Soujyuro was right. Her opponent had put her in check, but she had done the same to it. It was clear why she was losing, so now all she needed was a counter-plan, well within her abilities.
 No matter the odds, she was not one to give up without giving it one last shot.
 (That's right.
@@ -6248,13 +6248,13 @@
   If that ice fell, it would mean the destruction of the park in its entirety.
   Everything he had achieved, everything he had risked and dared and happily put his life on the line for, would all be for naught.
 (...Really.
-  What possessed him to be so bullheaded?!)
+  What possessed him to be so bullheaded!?)
   Determination and confidence surged through her like electricity.
   She was in no mood to be crushed by a giant sheet of ice.
   If she was going to lose, she'd rather do so as the grandest firework possible.
   Aoko was a sore loser. At this point, she would rather burn herself to cinders than let it decide her end.
 "<Disconnect! Expand area! Reconnect!|Change, change, change!>"
-She grunted in pain.
+  She grunted in pain.
   Energy raged through her body.
   Her circuits were on the verge of disintegration.
   Inscribed upon her body, her Magic Crest was magecraft given physical form. It did not, however, stop with simply skin and flesh. It burrowed to the very marrow of her bones.
@@ -6283,46 +6283,46 @@
   The first layer would transform into a giant vortex, swallowing up the mist.
   The second layer would process it from one end and pump it into her, the barrel.
 "...I was naïve,
-  Thinking I could do something cute like shoot it down.
-  I need to blast it to hell!"
-  The primeval magical energy responded in concert with her conviction.
+  thinking I could do something cute like shoot it down.
+  What I need to do is blast it to hell!"
+  Primeval power answered the spellcaster's conviction.
   It formed the pattern of a writhing serpent.
-  Voiceless magical power flying the banner of revolution.
-  She beckoned the great power of old to feast its eyes upon the land.
-  For it was the first of the trailblazers.
-  The representative of a mankind that knew no fear and would rend all manner of mythic and mystic to naught.
+  Voiceless magical power flew a banner of revolution.
+  Now, look upon the earth, o venerable one.
+  See now this pioneer, this first among trailblazers.
+  She embodies a species that knows no fear, that renders naught all manner of Mystic and tradition.
 "I'm done borrowing from you, you lying boojum.
   If you really want it, I'm more than happy to give it all back!"
-  For the newest Magician commanded the principles of consumption and extinction!
+  For the newest Magician commands the principles of consumption and extinction!
   An aberrant bullet of light melted through the castle of ice.
-  Her barrel was tempered.
+  The barrel held fast.
   Her control of magical energy was divine.
-  Her veins, totaling sixty-two thousand miles in length, or two and a half times the circumference of the equator, accepted the flow of magical energy with avarice. The subsequent magic bullet swiftly flew straight into the moon.
+  One hundred thousand miles of veins, equal to two and a half times the circumference of the Earth, hungrily drank in the magical energy. The subsequent magical strike hurtled straight up at the moon.
   NO NO NO NO!
-  Death rose to the surface of the moon.
-  A cry of terror, of indignation, echoed through the abandoned park.
+  Death rose from the moon's surface.
+  A cry of indignant terror echoed through the abandoned park.
   Reality was burned into the eyes of this creature of fantasy.
 "...Hah."
-  As Aoko looked upon its vain attempt to struggle, she knew she had tasted victory.
+  To Aoko, its vain struggle was the taste of victory.
   Victory despite her absolute reckless use of magical energy.
   The energy scales had been tipped to their breaking point but nevertheless in her favor.
 "<Bullet configuration...|Tour Plan...>"
-"<Total eclipse, converge!|Blacklight, Starbow!>"
+"<Total eclipse, converge|Blacklight, Starbow!>!
   Tear it a new one!"
   Shatter. Shatter. Shatter. Shatter.
   The skyscraper scattered into atomized dust.
   The island, its unattainability extolled, had swallowed whole the despair of its many challengers.
-  And that which remained of this once proud thing that boasted of its untouched knowledge?
-  Azure mist bemoaned its demise.
-  The ice canopy in the sky crumbled.
+  Long had it proudly eluded mankind's intellect...
+  Yet now, azure mist bemoaned its demise.
+  In the sky, the icy canopy crumbled.
   The Snark-hunting bullet jumped over the moon.
   Its throes of death sounded like the roaring sea, reverberating across this fairy-tale land.
-  The battle was over.
+  ...The battle was over.
   The thick fog dissipated, and the shattered ice melted away before it hit the ground.
-  A lethal bullet had topped the night king along with his throne, affording him no time to grieve his loss.
+  A lethal bullet unseated the night king from his throne, affording him no time to grieve his loss.
   The Oil of the Moon.
   The Untouched―Flat Snark.
-  The dreamscape that had begun with its resurrection ended with its demise, drawing a close to this nightmare.
+  The dreamscape that had begun with its resurrection ended with its demise, drawing a close to the nightmare.
 "...Oh man. I guess I kind of went overboard."
   Flat on her back, Aoko looked up at the night sky.
   She lay there perfectly still, not able to move a single finger.
@@ -6337,7 +6337,7 @@
   Once a Ploy's been broken, it's gone forever.)
   Flat Snark would never again return to this world.
    It was an insanely rare item, so invaluable that it would have been impossible to price it for auction at the Association in London.
-  Aoko had sent Alice's priceless treasure of the magecraft world to oblivion.
+  Aoko had sent Alice's priceless treasure to oblivion.
   Needless to say, things had gotten more than a little out of hand.
 (Still...)
   They had both agreed to the fight, so Alice probably would not complain.
@@ -6345,7 +6345,7 @@
 "Ugh..."
   The second Aoko relaxed, her fatigue finally caught up with her.
   She did everything in her power to fight off the overwhelming drowsiness.
-  Aside from a few minor internal injuries, her body was miraculously unscathed, so much so she felt that she could probably stand up and dust herself off after a bit of rest.
+  Aside from a few minor internal injuries, her body was miraculously unscathed. She felt like she could probably stand up and dust herself off after a bit of rest.
   The golden moon continued to burn in the night sky.
 (Well, you are oil, after all. You could probably burn for―)
   Aoko's bleary eyes went wide in astonishment.
@@ -6362,7 +6362,7 @@
   In the distance...
   There was something familiar in the direction of the ruined house of mirrors.
   Soujyuro's job―to throw Aoko's hair from a great height―was complete.
-  While not the most impressive of tasks, it was absolutely a matter of life-or-death.
+  While not the most impressive of tasks, it was absolutely a matter of life or death.
   And to top it all off, just thinking about how he was going to get back down to the ground was making him dizzy.
   He had experienced more than enough trouble for one day.
 "Wait, but..."
@@ -6370,9 +6370,9 @@
   A skull suddenly appeared in the sky above.
   On the ground, he could see a circling blue light with Aoko Aozaki in the middle of it.
   ...And one more thing.
-  A shadow was approaching Aoko that only someone from his vantage point could see.
-  A shadow missing the lower half of its body.
-  The upper half of its body was slowly clawing its way to Aoko.
+  From an angle that only Soujyuro could see, a shadow stalked Aoko while she challenged the moon.
+  It was shaped like a person missing the lower half of its body.
+  The disembodied torso slowly clawed its way toward Aoko.
   They were still over six hundred feet apart.
   Unfortunately for Aoko, she completely failed to notice it approaching from behind.
 "It's too far away to make out, but...isn't that..."
@@ -6392,7 +6392,7 @@
   And it may very well have been the case that Aoko was already aware of the puppet and would take it out as soon as it got closer. If she was, Soujyuro was sure he would only be in the way.
 "But..."
   It did not seem like there was anything he could do to help.
-  And beyond that, Aoko was not the only one in danger. He was in quite the predicament himself.
+  And beyond that, Aoko was not the only one in danger. He was in quite a predicament himself.
 "You can't go home again."
   The road home was never as safe as one thought. It was as true here as it had been in the mountains.
   The path he was on was no exception. As risky as the ascent had been, it was even more dangerous to go back down.
@@ -6404,23 +6404,23 @@
 Having been raised in the mountains, he was more sensitive to danger than anyone raised in the city, and just thinking about what he was about to do made his throat seize up.
   There was only one thing he could say for sure.
 "Aozaki has no idea that thing is coming for her!"
-  With a sobbing shout, Soujyuro started making his way down the two-hundred foot frame of the roller coaster.
+  With a sobbing shout, Soujyuro started making his way down the two-hundred-foot frame of the roller coaster.
 "Hah... hah... hah... haaa!"
   His race toward death accelerated.
   He never meant to speed up, but the downward slope propelled him forward.
 "Here... I... go!"
   It was too late for regrets. Now that he was running, he had no choice but to go even faster.
-And time was not on his side. He never would have made it in time if he'd taken the long way down, never mind the bread-men crowding the exit of the roller coaster.
+And time was not on his side―he would never make it in time if he took the long way down, never mind the bread-men crowding the exit of the roller coaster.
 With the exits blocked, the outcome would be the same whether he went slowly or quickly. There was no reason to rush to his death as desperately as he did!
-"So what?!"
+"So what!?"
   So what if it was futile?
   Soujyuro cleared the doubts from his mind.
   He turned his attention to what he could do: keep his footing and try to arrive at the bottom as quickly as he could.
 (Focus! Forget whether you'll be there in time to save her! The most important thing is...)
   He had no idea what impulses were driving his stiff limbs.
   He just focused on the moment, pushing past the fear and the cold logic.
-  At his core, he was the kind of person to deal with problems head-on. There would be time to think about consequences later!
-  But, hesitation was not his only obstacle.
+  At his core, he was the kind of person to deal with problems head-on. There would be time to think about the consequences later!
+  But hesitation was not his only obstacle.
 "Not now!"
   The worst possible hindrance appeared at a time when not focusing on the track would mean certain death.
 "!"
@@ -6432,13 +6432,13 @@
   It was a miracle he had not fallen.
   Descending a roller coaster on foot was an act of suicide.
   The egg stayed right by his side―so close it was likely it would collide with him.
-Though he was trying as hard as he could not to look at it, he could not help but feel unease that the door-like decoration in its center was gradually opening.
-"Dammit! Why now?!"
+Though he was trying not to look at it, he could not help but feel uneasy that the door-like decoration in its center was gradually opening.
+"Dammit! Why now!?"
   He cursed his rotten situation.
   And yet, he refused to slow down.
 He ran even faster, glaring at the egg on his side.
-"Hah... What the hell is going on.
-  Why? It has the worst timing!"
+"Hah... This is crazy.
+  What's wrong with me?"
   Soujyuro was baffled to find that he was smiling.
   Perhaps it had something to do with Aoko's charm. Soujyuro could not tell one way or the other.
   He could still feel Aoko's fingers on his skin.
@@ -6455,37 +6455,37 @@
   Soujyuro could not believe himself.
   What he was about to do was incredibly stupid.
   But what is stupid when smart is not an option?
-"I'm really going to do this?! This is insane!"
+"I'm really going to do this!? This is insane!"
   Amidst it all, he laughed at how pointless such self-reflection was now.
   Temporary confusion, a psychological thrill ride; both had laid his soul bare.
-  What really mattered?
-  But a simple man gets by without deep thought.
-  Soujyuro's primitive mind did not crave success or reward.
-  For him it was simple.
+  What really mattered in life?
+  The answer to that question was simple.
+  His primitive values did not crave success or reward.
+  All he wanted was...
 (This is it!)
-  He was doing it because he wanted to.
-  Not because he felt obliged to those around him.
-  His desire to live his way was his and his own.
+  ...to live the way he wanted.
+  It wasn't an obligation to the people around him.
+  His desire to live his way was his and his alone.
 (Here we go!)
-"?!"
+"!?"
   If the egg had been equipped with a vocal function, it would have gasped in shock at what happened next.
   The boy, who had only tried to escape up until this point, suddenly shifted his weight.
   He pointed his feet outward instead of inward.
-  On the edge of one rail, he crouched ever-so slightly to maintain momentum and gazed at the floating egg.
-Close enough! I can do this!
+  On the edge of one rail, he crouched ever so slightly to maintain momentum, and gazed at the floating egg.
+(Close enough! I can do this!)
   He soared through the night sky.
-  It was a flight that lasted a mere one and a half seconds.
-  A cordless bungee jump from one-hundred feet above ground.
+  It was a flight that lasted a mere one and a half seconds―
+  a cordless bungee jump from a hundred feet above ground.
   His destination:
-  The only thing that would stop his fall―the giant flying egg.
+  the only thing that would stop his fall―the giant flying egg.
 "Hyaaah!"
   He shrieked, this time out of elation, as he desperately clung to the egg's surface.
   Just earlier...
   The cold-blooded witch had told him that without fear, the top of a building would feel no different than a balance beam.
   This from the same witch that would have been left speechless had she witnessed this spectacle.
-  Fearlessness was one thing, recklessness was another.
-  He followed it up with an act that would irritate her for days to come.
-"I'm relying on you, egg!"
+  It was one thing to be fearless, and another to be reckless.
+  What the boy did next would give her a headache in the days to come.
+"I'm counting on you, egg!"
   Clinging to the egg, he shifted his gaze away from it.
   He felt the rapid descent.
   Soujyuro, focusing his half-shut eyes on the ground, leaped off the egg once they were a few feet from the ground, then turned back to it, careful to reestablish eye contact.
@@ -6499,8 +6499,8 @@
   The shortcut that almost cost him his life had paid off.
   Soujyuro took off running the second his feet touched the ground.
   The puppet after Aoko was the only thing on his mind.
-  He paid no mind to the moonlight in the sky.
-  Or the egg, furious about being used and seconds away from self-destructing and blasting fragments all over the place.
+  He paid no mind to the moonlight in the sky,
+  nor to the egg which was furious about being used, and seconds away from self-destructing and blasting fragments all over the place.
 "Aozaki!"
 "Huh?"
   Aoko's dumbfounded expression spurred Soujyuro on.
@@ -6510,13 +6510,13 @@
   The "Ode to Queen Alice" that Alice had engraved into Dumpty quickly robbed him of his senses.
 "Okay... Was that it?"
   He snapped back to the task at hand and ran to Aoko, still lying on the ground.
-  His legs ran of their own accord.
-Though he could not have ever stopped them anyway since he could no longer feel them.
-"Don't you puppets ever give up?!"
+  His legs moved as if they had a mind of their own,
+ though he couldn't have stopped them anyway, since he could no longer feel them.
+"Don't you puppets ever give up!?"
   The Scrambled Murder Case.
   Piles of rubble became flowers of light blooming from the earth.
   The final curtain drew closed, and the defeated left the battleground.
-  Had Alice Kuonji seen it up close, it would have left her beside herself. The two had escaped by hair's breadth.
+  Had Alice Kuonji seen it happen, she would have been beside herself. The two had escaped by a hair's breadth.
   The only person in a position to witness that rare mutual destruction was the girl who had been saved from it.
   The boy who had never stopped running paid it no mind.
 "Phew. I thought you were a goner."
@@ -6543,9 +6543,9 @@
   The moment she had accepted death had seemed like an eternity.
   She was beside herself in shock at how indifferent she had been as the shards rained down from the moon.
   But a reassuring voice had snapped her back into reality.
-  Why did he do it? What was he thinking? What moronic things did he have to do to pull it off?
+  Why did he do it? What was he thinking? What moronic things had he done to pull it off?
   She had no answers for these questions, lying on the ground as she was. All she knew was that he had more than made up for his failure in the house of mirrors and then some, in those fateful final moments.
-  She addressed him hoping to find answers, but found herself unable to probe any further.
+  She addressed him, hoping to find answers, but found herself unable to probe any further.
   To dig any deeper would feel like defeat, which is why it was so unlike her to ask him in the first place.
   Lucky for her, Soujyuro had neither the capacity nor sensitivity to understand how egocentric she was being.
 "Amazing?
@@ -6578,8 +6578,8 @@
 "I must be getting soft."
   Truth be told, he was a lunatic for doing what he did.
   She steadied her breathing and composed herself.
-  She was in bad shape, and she had her pride as a mage to consider.
-  Which was why she needed to maintain an air of dignity when making a proclamation.
+  While she was in bad shape, she still had her pride as a mage to consider.
+  That was why she felt a need to maintain an air of dignity.
 "Sizuki, I originally meant to let you off the hook for today only, but I'm willing to let the whole thing go.
 For the time being, I've decided to let you live."
   She hastily extended her right hand.
@@ -6588,20 +6588,20 @@
   Soujyuro did not take her hand, but instead stood up on his own.
   This night.
 Despite the sheer insanity that he had just experienced, his face had not once looked as incredulous as it did now.
-"W-What? Something wrong?"
+"W-what? Something wrong?"
   She stammered, worried that she had deeply embarrassed herself.
   Soujyuro's gaze was fixed upon Aoko.
 "..."
   A problem had dawned on Aoko.
 Though she normally hated being stared at, this time, she did not mind.
   Rather, she was enjoying the warmth in his eyes and felt like it was something she could almost come to appreciate.
-"Don't you get it? This isn't just about friendship! And I didn't mean he only 'likes' you, either! Believe me when I say that Sono-G really-"
-(Oh no...)
+"Don't you get it? This isn't just about friendship! And I didn't mean he only 'likes' you, either! Believe me when I say that Sono-G really―"
+(Oh...)
   The conversation came rushing back.
   It was a memory better left forgotten.
 (No, not happening!)
   Pushing Tobimaru's words out of her mind, Aoko turned to Soujyuro.
-"D-Don't get any ideas!
+"D-don't get any ideas!
   I don't care about you in the least!"
   Puzzled, Soujyuro tilted his head.
 "You already told me how much you dislike me."
@@ -6615,9 +6615,9 @@
   She wondered how she'd ended up in this position.
   And yet, she knew that she had to get this off her chest.
   All that was left was to politely wait for his response.
-"I can't date you.
-  Such heartbreakingly painful words were too much for the simple boy to hear. His shoulders slumped as if the world was coming to an end―
-  Or so Aoko thought.
+"I can't date you."
+  Such heartbreakingly painful words were too much for the simple boy to hear. His shoulders slumped as if the world was coming to an end...
+  ...Or so Aoko had imagined.
   On the contrary, Soujyuro was sitting there in deep thought.
 "Did you just say... I'm in love with you?"
   Soujyuro murmured the words as if they were a magic spell.
@@ -6641,7 +6641,7 @@
   It was time to seal off the area and destroy all evidence.
   Aoko's embarrassment devolved into sheer panic, and her grudge against Tobimaru suddenly manifested as criminal assault.
   She lashed out with a punch that could have taken down a bird mid-flight. More specifically, it was a brutal right hook.
-"Oh."
+"Ah..."
   Aoko blinked. Her blow had connected with something solid, snapping her out of her reverie.
   Her temper had lashed out at the completely defenseless Soujyuro.
   It had been a splendid blow with all her weight behind it, knocking him out cold.
@@ -6683,7 +6683,7 @@
   Its light weight was almost unnerving,
   closer to empty air than a human being.
   It was about as heavy as one would expect if they'd bottled a summer breeze.
-  Thought, that did fit her image of Soujyuro perfectly.
+  Though, that did fit her image of Soujyuro perfectly.
 "It's just like Alice said..."
   She muttered to no one in particular as she recalled the past.
 "This really isn't like me."
@@ -6719,7 +6719,7 @@
   She would dial up the power five times the next time, driving twenty tons of force into her target.
   Alice had the protection of the thick, hanging fog and the dense barrier around her.
   However, this attack would be more than enough to pierce through both.
-  If Aoko struck home, at best it would cave in Alice's chest and end the fight.
+  If Aoko struck home, it could cave in Alice's chest and end the fight.
   At worst, it would at least knock Alice down from her position atop the clock tower.
 "Hey, I have a question."
   As always, there was one guy who spoiled the deadly tension, pulling Aoko out of killer mode.
@@ -6728,7 +6728,7 @@
   He said it like he might ask
 for directions to the train station.
 "..."
-  Normally she would have lashed out screaming in response, but his entirely-serious tone shocked her more than it angered her.
+  Normally, she would have lashed out in response, but his deadly serious tone shocked rather than angered her.
 "...Unbelievable. Is this my life now?"
   Aoko swallowed back a sigh and returned her focus to activating her crest.
 "Negotiations have broken down. I pissed her off a bit too much.
@@ -6736,20 +6736,20 @@
 "???"
   Soujyuro tilted his head, as if begging for a simpler explanation.
 "She's really got it in for me. I can't even imagine what sort of death she has in store if she catches me.
-  ...What I'm saying is, neither you or me are getting out of this alive unless we do something about her."
-"So you're saying I got dragged into your quarrel?!"
+  ...What I'm saying is, neither of us are getting out of this alive unless we do something about her."
+"So you're saying I got dragged into your quarrel!?"
 "Pretty much!"
   As Soujyuro protested in a tone wholly inappropriate to the situation, Aoko let another blast rip from her right arm.
   She was not aiming at Soujyuro, though.
   A little earlier in the day and Aoko would have been happy to do exactly that, but now, her attention was focused on the girl in black atop the clock tower.
-"?!?!?!"
-  She could hardly grasp the situation amidst her astonishment.
-  She fired the strongest, fastest magic bullet she had the ability to conjure, and Alice blocked it.
-  That was to be expected.
-  When Alice set her mind to defending herself, such an attack was child's play.
+"!?!?!?"
+  Aoko's mind struggled to catch up to her astonishment.
+  She had fired the strongest, fastest magic bullet she had the ability to conjure, and Alice blocked it.
+  That much was to be expected;
+  when Alice set her mind to defending herself, such an attack was child's play.
   But what just happened?
-  Something she had never seen before had leapt to Alice's defense.
-  A team of horses? A plague of locusts? No. Those things existed in this world, unlike what Aoko had just witnessed.
+  Something Aoko had never seen before leapt to Alice's defense.
+  A team of horses? A plague of locusts? No―those existed in the real world, unlike what Aoko had just witnessed.
   Normal creatures could not form like a spontaneous cloud of fog and then dissipate just as quickly into the night sky.
 "What...?"
   Impossible things moved in impossible ways.
@@ -6759,8 +6759,8 @@
   This was an invasion of fairy tales.
   Compared to them, the automaton looked merciful.
   Autonomous puppets were products of magecraft, but even then they behaved as puppets should.
-  These newly-animated things, however, were nothing of that sort.
-  Empty vessels became living creatures-
+  These newly animated things, however, were nothing of the sort.
+  Empty vessels became living creatures―
   dummies warped into malformed beings.
   There was a fog so dense with magical energy it visibly spread to all corners of the park,
   bringing with it a monstrous welcoming party that easily numbered over a thousand.
@@ -6797,8 +6797,8 @@
 "It doesn't matter! Anywhere!"
   She shouted as though trying to persuade herself as she valiantly cleared a path.
   Aoko's magic bullets flew like a scream.
-  Blowing away the creatures that stood in their way-or rather, simply gathered around-she made a hole for them to escape through.
-  Magic bullets exploded like blue fireworks.
+  Blowing away the creatures that blocked―or simply gathered around―their path, she made a hole for them to escape through.
+  Magical bullets exploded like blue fireworks.
   Aoko and Soujyuro ran down the bumpy brick road.
   Their bond, forged in the heat of battle, went far beyond mutual convenience.
   They headed for the park's exit at full speed without exchanging a word or a look.
@@ -6808,8 +6808,8 @@
   Speaking in pure numbers, the difference in strength was two versus an army.
   Or rather, one versus an army.
   Soujyuro was hardly useful in this situation,
-  and "man"power wasn't really the issue here, since they were facing puppets.
-"You okay?!
+  and "man"-power wasn't really the issue here, since they were facing puppets.
+"You okay!?
   Those were some giant pincers back there!"
   Aoko shouted as she blasted away the monsters that stood in their path.
   There was no time to stop for breath, or even to look back.
@@ -6832,7 +6832,7 @@
   Waiting along their detour had been a horde of monsters, too many to count.
 "Yeah, just barely!"
   Soujyuro called out in response, recalling just how narrowly he had avoided his head being severed clean from his body.
-"In front of us! What the heck are those? Are they freshly-baked!?"
+"In front of us! What the heck are those? Are they freshly baked!?"
 "It looks like it! In other words, they're the cannon fodder!"
   Aoko halted her sprint and set her crest into full operation.
 (Range: seven, six, five yards...!
@@ -6843,46 +6843,46 @@
 "...Aozaki, more over there!"
 "Roger that!"
   Blue explosions bloomed along the lamp-lit promenade.
-  Aoko's curtain of fire fanned out like a beautiful starmine fireworks show.
+  Aoko's curtain of fire fanned out―it was a marvelous Starmine fireworks show.
   The toy bread-men turned to charcoal.
 (We can do this! They've got us overpowered in numbers, but at this rate we'll be able to get out of here!)
-"Sizuki, how's it look over there?!"
+"Sizuki, how's it look over there!?"
 "Looks clear to me! We should be able to approach the exit from the east!"
   With a magical barrage that would leave an average spellcaster blue in the face, the novice mage broke through the siege.
   Meanwhile...
   A single bird keenly watched everything unfold.
-  Chirp, Cheep-Cheep-Cheep, Chirp!
-  The moment the blue bird descended into its master's field of vision it made its high-pitched call.
+  Chirp, cheep-cheep-cheep, chirp!
+  The moment the blue bird descended into its master's field of vision, it made its high-pitched call.
   The girl listened expressionlessly to the report.
 "...No matter. Everything is going as  expected.
-  Even if she only knows how to shoot and destroy, the way Aoko uses magical energy is extraordinary. Hastily-formed familiars are no match for her."
+  Even if she only knows how to shoot and destroy, the way Aoko uses magical energy is extraordinary. Hastily formed familiars are no match for her."
   The robin flapped its wings as it tweeted in response.
   Perhaps it was criticizing Alice for complimenting Aoko.
-  Or perhaps it was jealous of Aoko for being complimented by Alice.
+  Or, perhaps it was jealous of Aoko for being praised by Alice.
   Alice could barely make sense of its chirping rant.
   Aoko Aozaki was a novice mage.
-  Until just two years ago, she was someone who grew up with no background in magecraft. Compared to Alice, who was raised as a witch from birth, Aoko possessed far less talent and experience.
-  Winning was an impossibility for Aoko.
-  In a contest of skills in magecraft, ten times out of ten, Alice would be declared the victor.
-  However, a battle to the death was a different story.
-  Alice Kuonji was not a mage suited for battle.
-  Aoko Aozaki, on the other hand, was built for it.
+  Until just two years ago, she had grown up with no background in magecraft. Compared to Alice, who was raised as a witch from birth, Aoko possessed far less talent and experience.
+  There was simply no comparison to be made―
+  in a contest of skills in magecraft, ten times out of ten, Alice would be declared the victor.
+  However, that narrative changed when it came to a battle for life-or-death.
+  Alice Kuonji was not the type of mage suited to combat,
+  while Aoko Aozaki, on the other hand, was built for it.
   In a contest that pitted magical energy against magical energy, even Alice would concede that Aoko had the upper hand.
   Aoko's manipulation of magical energy was extraordinary.
-  The scale of her Magic Circuits was smaller than that of Alice's, but their rotational speed, durability, and quality of magical energy produced, not to mention the efficiency, were otherworldly.
+  The scale of her Magic Circuits was smaller than that of Alice, but their rotational speed, durability, and output quality―not to mention efficiency―were otherworldly.
   That was Aoko Aozaki's hallmark.
   Though she had many failings when handling sophisticated formulae,
-  in just two years of practice Aoko had surpassed Alice in simple formulae that merely required an energy input.
-  She also had genius-level instincts and adaptability.
+  in just two years of practice, Aoko had surpassed Alice in simple formulae that merely required an energy input.
+  She also had a genius' instincts and adaptability.
   Though Aoko was not particularly proficient at executing magecraft, she was terrifyingly fast.
   If she had been born outside the Aozaki clan, she would have doubtless risen to fame as a competitive sharpshooter.
 "What a pity."
   In a straight shootout, Alice did not stand a chance.
   Alice Kuonji had never bothered to learn primitive magecraft like magic bullets in the first place.
   She was the classic puppeteer.
-  Her familiars would carry out all the particulars of battle as her arms and legs.
+  Her familiars served as her arms and legs to carry out all the particulars of a battle.
 "Clock's ticking, Aoko.
-  I'm happy to lend you all the magical energy you like, but after an hour, those bullets will be worthless."
+  I'm happy to lend you all the ammunition you like, but after an hour, those bullets will be worthless."
   Chirping as if in agreement, the robin took flight.
   It had been nearly ten minutes since Alice had made the amusement park into her dominion.
   To what would the green fog give birth next?
@@ -6890,7 +6890,7 @@
 "Sizuki, is this the way out?!"
 "Yeah, the exit is just around that store!"
   Running nonstop at full speed had them at their limits.
-  Their breath ragged, the two flew around the corner.
+  Their breath ragged, the duo rounded a corner at a breakneck pace.
   Amusement park though it was, this was still the infamous Kitsy Land.
   It would have taken a high school student twenty minutes to sprint the entire circumference of the park.
   And though they were now intimately familiar with the park's geography...
@@ -6902,14 +6902,14 @@
 "...What?!"
 "I hate to ask, but... is it just me, or is the park getting bigger?"
   It was.
-Their problem wasn't as mundane as mistaking the location of the exist, or getting lost in the terrain.
+Their problem wasn't as mundane as mistaking the location of the exits, nor the strange terrain.
   No, the park was warping and twisting in upon itself.
-  Even now, its structure was expanding and growing, like that of a living creature.
+  Even as they ran, its structure was expanding and growing, like that of a living creature.
 "..."
   Soon, the pair noticed that the mob encircling them had grown even stronger.
   Entrusting her back to Soujyuro, Aoko summoned all of her effort just to keep from whining.
-  No one would have thought twice if it had been just Soujyuro cowering in shock and terror.
-  But Aoko doing the same?
+  No one would blame Soujyuro for cowering in shock,
+  but for Aoko to do the same?
   She bore responsibility for causing and then dragging him into this mess.
   She could not afford to succumb to panic.
 (...Pull yourself together, Aoko.
@@ -6920,13 +6920,13 @@
   Their breathing had become labored.
   If they had to run another mile without rest, they'd end up collapsing along the way.
 "...Aozaki? How are you holding up? Physically, I mean."
-"Wh-What?"
-  The whisper from her behind pulled Aoko back to reality.
+"W-what?"
+  The whisper from behind pulled Aoko back to reality.
 "I'm fine... but... I need to catch my breath."
 "...Good idea. We'll never make it outside if we don't rest."
 "...You know, I never would have thought you'd be okay with making a run for it."
-  After saying this she let slip a giggle.
-  Far from debilitated by panic, her comrade in arms had been analyzing the situation and forming an escape plan.
+  She let slip a giggle.
+  Far from debilitated by panic, her comrade-in-arms had been analyzing the situation and forming an escape plan.
 "Why don't we hole up in one of those buildings for a while?"
 "...I don't like it, but it's our best option right now."
   The bread-men had them completely surrounded.
@@ -6942,12 +6942,12 @@
 "Get behind the counter!"
   Like she was in a Western shootout, Aoko squared off against the monsters, using the counter as cover.
 "Bingo! Nothing in here can get Snarkified!"
-  After assessing the current state of the enemy, Aoko sat herself under the counter.
+  After assessing the current state of the enemy, Aoko sat down under the counter.
 "What are they doing?"
 "They're stamping their feet in frustration, because they're angry that they can't get in."
 "?"
-  Aoko gave the perplexed Soujyuro a grin and took a deep breath.
-  She heaved a heavy sigh of relief, and fatigue.
+  Aoko gave the perplexed Soujyuro a grin and took a moment to catch her breath.
+  She heaved a heavy sigh of relief and fatigue.
 "We'll take five here. This restaurant is the blandest place in the park, which makes it their Achilles' heel.
   The registers and utensils are all modern, and there are no mascot characters. It's just a bit too civilized for Snark to mess with."
 "Snark?"
@@ -6983,11 +6983,11 @@
   If Alice summons any other fairy-tale monsters, let alone the actual Snark making an appearance, there's nothing I'll be able to do."
 "Other fairy-tale monsters? You mean there are others apart from the thing that changed the park?"
 "Yes. They're called Ploy Kickshaws, aberrations that even we mages can't stand to look at.
-They're nonsense lost to time, used to revive impossible fantasies.
+They're nonsense lost to time, used to revive impossible fantasies."
 "?"
   Soujyuro's expression seemed to be calling her out on the hypocrisy.
 "Hey, most of us have modern standards, you know.
-  Obviously there are things we can't do, and we're no match for modern weapons. The twentieth century-well, a bunch of wars helped weapons technology catch up to us."
+  Obviously there are things we can't do, and we're no match for modern weapons. The twentieth century―well, a bunch of wars helped weapons technology catch up to us."
 "...But that girl is a different beast altogether. Mankind's evolution can't hold a flame to her power.
   Take those bread-men, for instance.
   Something like a machine gun would have no effect on them, probably because guns make no sense to them."
@@ -6998,26 +6998,26 @@
   Soujyuro seemed to have ignored the majority of Aoko's explanation and only reacted to the part that caught his curiosity.
 "...To get back on topic,
   Modern arms don't stand a chance against those things. Even rockets would be useless. They aren't part of the same order or shared consciousness as us."
-"To the Ploy Rickshaws-to the fairy tale monsters-anything that doesn't exist in their world, anything they don't understand, disintegrates before it can even touch them.
-  Only something equally nonsense can touch them, like magical energy infused with the same level of Mystics. They exist wholly in their own conceptual space or cosmos-"
+"To the Ploy Kickshaws―to the fairy-tale monsters―anything that doesn't exist in their world, anything they don't understand, disintegrates before it can even touch them.
+  Only something equally nonsense can touch them, like magical energy infused with the same level of Mystics. They exist wholly in their own conceptual space or cosmos―"
 "..."
 "...Ahem.
-  In short, they exist according to a special law known as Folklore Defense, meaning that neither pure force nor strong magecraft have much effect. They can't be taken down without exploiting the weaknesses found in their original stories.
+  In short, they're protected by a special rule known as Folklore Defense, meaning that neither pure force nor strong magecraft have much effect. They can't be taken down without exploiting the weaknesses found in their original stories.
   Are you familiar with the Greek myth of Achilles? It's a good, straightforward example."
   Soujyuro shook his head.
 "Of course you aren't. If we get out of this alive, have Tobimaru tell you about it.
   It's a cliché, but it's a good story."
   Soujyuro was feeling pretty lost, but he did his best to grasp the situation.
-He thought that Ploy Kickshaws were scary enough to chase Aoko and that puppet from before out of the house barefoot.
+  He thought that Ploy Kickshaws were scary enough to chase Aoko and that puppet from before out of the house barefoot.
   Certainly, the scene before them was the stuff of nightmares.
   But Soujyuro had a different way of thinking.
 "I think you're more scared than me, Aozaki."
 "Do you want to die?!"
   Soujyuro waved in protest, silently pointing out that she had made his case for him.
 "Listen to me: the things surrounding us now are little more than fodder.
-  As far as Alice is concerned, the bread-men, the lobster, the meat mincer at the sausage place-they're all worth even less than my magic bullets are to me.
+  As far as Alice is concerned, the bread-men, the lobster, the meat mincer at the sausage place―they're all worth even less than my magic bullets are to me.
   Got it? The moving mascots and all the rest are a sideshow. They're nothing more than the breath of the monster she unleashed."
-"These thongs... are just the breath?"
+"These things...are just the breath?"
 "Yeah, crazy, I know.
   But that's what we're dealing with right now. Just one of those fairy-tale monsters is enough to keep us busy.
 So if Alice decides to add another, we might as well give up."
@@ -7031,9 +7031,9 @@
   The foundation of Alice's magecraft is Mother Goose.
 Right, you wouldn't know that either. Mother Goose was an author of whimsical English nursery rhymes.
   To be honest, this type of Ploy Kickshaw isn't all that scary.
-Taking them down with some form of magecraft is totally possible.
+Taking them down with some form of magecraft is totally possible."
 "...I'm afraid to ask, but what about the scary kind, then?"
-"They follow a another fairy tale also inspired by Mother Goose.
+"They follow another fairy tale inspired by Mother Goose.
   Alice's mother was particularly fond of it, and every single one is bizarre. No mage wants to go up against one of those things."
 "As it happens, that's exactly what brought the park back to life.
   I'm pretty sure it's the one she calls Flat Snark, though I wasn't particularly paying attention, so I'm a little hazy on the details."
@@ -7060,7 +7060,7 @@
 "What's important is the work he left behind.
   The Hunting of the Snark is a book about a band of adventurers who try to capture an unidentified monster known as the Snark."
 "It's very Carroll: satirical, nonsensical, and cryptic. It doesn't even really have an ending, either. Though the party does ultimately find the Snark on its island after much hardship, it ends with the protagonist who found it, the Baker, suddenly disappearing.
-It's a satire about people who run about busily trying to find something they don't understand. But when it comes to the park here, it's pretty clear who the Baker is and who the Snark is, right?"
+  It's a satire about people who run about busily trying to find something they don't understand. But when it comes to the park here, it's pretty clear who the Baker is and who the Snark is, right?"
   Aoko elected not to share this, but Flat Snark had other popular names as well.
   The Enigmatic Island. The Five-Dimensional Plane.
   These names were not given to it by Alice, but rather muttered by mages whom the Meinsters defeated.
@@ -7076,24 +7076,24 @@
   When you think about it, the park makes for the perfect backdrop. I mean, it was originally a playground based on fairy tales, anyway."
   If this had been a business district, for example, Flat Snark would have posed far less of a threat.
   At most, its power would be limited to projecting the shadow of a dinosaur onto a building's window panes.
-"Ah, so that's why it's safe he―
- Hmm?"
+"Ah, so that's why it's safe―
+ Hm?"
   Soujyuro realized that something was wrong when he noticed a glutinous liquid dripping onto his back.
-"Oh, oh no..."
+"Uh, um―"
   He looked up to the ceiling.
 Their eyes met.
 Before he had a chance to think, Soujyuro hopped up from the floor.
 "Aozaki, get out, now!"
   Taking the initiative, he jumped out from behind the counter.
 "Are you mad? What do you think you're―"
-  Busy trying to stop him from committing an act of suicide, she also came to her feet.
-  Immediately she noticed something being brought to life overhead.
-"What the―!? Oh crap!"
+  Trying to stop him from committing an act of suicide, she also came to her feet.
+  Immediately, she noticed something coming to life overhead.
+"What the―!? Oh, crap!"
 "Oh my god, that was close!"
   The gargantuan mouth clamped shut.
   With no mascot to speak of, the burger joint itself began to transform into one giant monster.
 "Who the hell paints a giant clown on the ceiling!?
-  Shouldn't they have flexed their creative muscle somehow else?! If they liked clowns that much, why didn't they put it at the entrance?!"
+  Shouldn't they have flexed their creative muscle somehow else!? If they liked clowns that much, why didn't they put it at the entrance!?"
   Aoko aired out her grievances as she ran.
   ...There was no safe haven left.
   Moment by moment, the last remnants of civilization were being eroded away by fairy tales.
@@ -7102,7 +7102,7 @@
   like the burger joint, even the buildings had begun to transform.
   The roller coaster that made its way about the park writhed and twisted like a Chinese dragon.
 "..."
-  Aoko and Soujyuro stared, dumbfounded by the Ferris wheel, which had grown to over two-hundred and fifty feet in height.
+  Aoko and Soujyuro stared, dumbfounded by the Ferris wheel, which had grown to over two hundred and fifty feet in height.
   Hordes of bread-men closed in on them, as if to offer tickets.
 "I'm telling you, the line is under control!"
   Mobs of trinkets―actual kickshaws―rampaged the park.
@@ -7122,7 +7122,7 @@
   After saying this out loud, she realized just how deep their grave was dug.
   The amusement park was a treasure trove of fairy tale-esque creatures on any given day.
   Who could say what was impossible amidst the newly transfigured knickknacks running around?
-"...Damn. Everything in here is a weird."
+"...Damn. Everything in here is weird."
 (So it's hiding in plain sight...)
   Hoping that she was wrong, Aoko bit her bottom lip.
   Flat Snark was the type of Ploy that deployed Bounded Fields.
@@ -7136,8 +7136,8 @@
 (I'm sure we've seen it already.
   It's the subject of a book named after it. If it's not standing out on every page, it has no right to be the title character!)
   But where?
-  Thinking in the most basic terms, the Ferris wheel was very safe, as well as a symbol of the park itself. Perhaps...
-"What if we just try to catch that girl instead?!"
+  Put very simply, the Ferris wheel was the safest location in the park, as well as a symbol of its past glory. Perhaps...
+"What if we just try to catch her instead!?"
   Her eyes opened wide at the sudden suggestion.
   While Aoko had been trying to come up with a plan to overcome this stalemate, it seemed Soujyuro had been racking his brain as well.
   His proposal was a simple one.
@@ -7157,7 +7157,7 @@
   Walk the plank of the thorny pirate ship?
   After two years of slumber, they were eager to welcome their new guests.
 "There's something I need to ask you, Aozaki."
-"What is it? Keep it snappy, I'm thinking here."
+"What is it? Keep it snappy. I'm thinking here."
 "Okay. It's painfully clear what these things want to do to us, but what about her? Does she enjoy this?"
 "I doubt it.
 These things' hatred of humans comes from a deep-seated grudge within the park itself, and maybe even Flat Snark's personality too. Alice's familiars are one big family of freaks.
@@ -7165,44 +7165,44 @@
   Aoko was unable to deny that there were some similarities.
 "Good to know. ...So, did you come up with anything, Aozaki? How do we stop them?"
 "Sorry to get your hopes up, but I'm all out of ideas. Oh, but I bet they'd stop if you dropped dead."
-"No thank you! Let's just get out of here!"
-"Hey, wait! Sizuki?!"
+"No, thank you! Let's just get out of here!"
+"Hey, wait! Sizuki!?"
   She blinked in surprise at the sudden turn of events.
-  Soujyuro, who had until now been meekly following her lead, had grabbed Aoko's hand and pulled her with him into a suicidal charge towards the swarm of bread, in an attempt to break out of the encirclement.
-"Are you out of your mind?!
-  How on earth do you figure this is what we do next?!"
+  Soujyuro, who had until now been meekly following her lead, had grabbed Aoko's hand and pulled her with him into a head-on charge at the swarm of bread, in an attempt to break out of the encirclement.
+"Are you out of your mind!?
+  How on earth do you figure this is what we do next!?"
   Aoko nonetheless followed Soujyuro's uncharacteristically gung-ho lead, cursing him all the while.
-  Soujyuro would not be able to break through the surrounding wall of enemies with brute force.
+  Alone, he had no chance of breaking through the surrounding wall of enemies with brute force.
   Aoko regained her bearings and let fly a spray of magic bullets ahead of Soujyuro.
 "Hah...!"
-  They broke through the net and ran as hard as they could.
-  At this point, all that was left to do was what they had planned from the outset: aim to get out of the park.
+  They burst through the net and ran as hard as they could.
+  At this point, all that was left to do was what they had planned from the outset: get out of the park.
   But not before addressing what needed to be addressed.
 "Where the hell did that come from! Hadn't you already given up back at the house of mirrors?!"
   Aoko could not begin to comprehend Soujyuro's reaction.
 "That was then and this is now! Just run!"
-"What are you talking about?! Alice wants to kill you just like I did! Nothing's different, not the reason nor the outcome!"
+"What are you talking about!? Alice wants to kill you for exactly the same reasons I did! This won't play out any differently!"
   Though she wondered what was getting her so worked up, Aoko did not stop.
   She told herself that the degree of Soujyuro's stupidity, charging the bread-men so recklessly, had caused her to lose her cool.
 "Hey, don't get the wrong idea! I'm gonna try and kill you again tomorrow! I'll really do it! So if you don't want to die, you should be trying to escape me too, got it?!"
-"Then let's talk about that tomorrow! Like I said, I don't really care if you kill me, I just don't want to be killed by that girl!"
-"And like I said, WHY THE HELL NOT?!"
-"I don't even know what she looks like, nor have I even spoken with her!"
+"Then let's talk about that tomorrow! I don't really care if you kill me, but just don't want to be killed by that girl!"
+"Like I said, WHY THE HELL NOT!?"
+"I don't even know what she looks like, nor have I ever spoken to her!"
 "...What?"
   It was like someone had doused water over her blazing fury.
   Aoko's anger was snuffed out by the absurd simplicity of his reasoning.
-"Because you don't even know what she looks like?"
+"Because you don't know what she looks like?"
   Could it be that Soujyuro did not mind being killed by someone as long as he had met them?
-  Aoko chased behind him, grimacing at the ever-increasing incomprehensibility of it all.
+  Aoko grimaced as she followed him. 
   From her spot atop the clock tower, the girl observed the growth of her familiar.
   Flat Snark.
   A savior of the discarded.
-  It was a vile, vulgar fairy-tale monster, who provided those abandoned by fate with a glimmer of hope before snatching it away.
+  It was a vile, vulgar fairy-tale monster who provided those abandoned by fate with a glimmer of hope, before snatching it away.
   Alice had it under her control, but she was still keen to keep the Snark from expressing its bad habits.
   After completing a lap around the park that had now reached the size of an entire town, the robin made its situation report.
 "...So. They're trying to get out."
   It seemed Aoko was prioritizing the safety of the boy.
-  Even if it resulted in wasting an entire day, choosing to not capitulate on a decision was very much like her.
+  Even if it resulted in wasting an entire day, choosing not to capitulate on a decision was very much like her.
 "That's too bad. I was sure Aoko would attempt to burn down the clock tower and me with it."
   The blue bird cheeped in response.
   Was it denying its master's portrait of Aoko,
@@ -7221,7 +7221,7 @@
   And together with the witch's breath, the egg filled with praise disappeared.
   Suddenly, a strong wind swept through the park.
       The words "I could have killed them all by myself" floated through the air.
-  It was the disappointment of something enormous that was both visible yet overlooked.
+  It was the disappointment of something enormous that was visible to all, yet overlooked.
   Aoko and Soujyuro continued their dash toward the boundary separating the park from outside.
   The curio horde that stood in their way had reduced in number.
   The iron fence that separated the two from the outside world was just over three hundred yards away.
@@ -7229,12 +7229,12 @@
   If the Ferris wheel had stood in their way, that would have spelled the end, but thankfully, it had yet to reach its full strength.
   The only things that appeared before them were weak oddities that could easily be handled by Aoko's simple magecraft.
 "At this rate, we just might..."
-  She would have said "make it to the fence" if her lungs would only allow it.
+  She would have said "make it to the fence," if only her lungs would allow it.
   Since Aoko was utilizing the ample mana filling the park, her tank of magical energy was nearly full.
-  Coupled with the fact that the condition of her body's circuits was steadily improving to the extent that she would be able to unleash at least one all-out onslaught.
+  Moreover, the condition of her body's circuits was steadily improving, to the extent that she would be able to unleash at least one all-out onslaught.
 "...?"
   Until...
-Above her field of vision, something unusual was hovering.
+Something unusual was hovering above her field of vision.
   It was locked on Soujyuro, hovering ten feet above him over to one side.
 "Sizuki! Look!"
 "What? That thing? It's been on us for a while."
@@ -7277,10 +7277,10 @@
   If her previous shots were the equivalent of a machine gun volley, then this was her artillery shot.
   The hard-crust bread that had absorbed her Snap without a dent scattered into thousands of tiny pieces at her Draw's torrent.
 "Whoa..."
-  Of course, the destruction did not end with just the bread men.
-  Sending bricks flying, the previously paved road was now bare.
-  The nearby stall had turned into a skeleton of steel beams.
-  It was a spectacle that made Soujyuro question which force, the wall of bread men or Aoko's ability to lay waste to things, would obstruct their path more.
+  Of course, the destruction did not end with just the bread-men.
+  What had once been a brick road was now thoroughly stripped of its pavement.
+  The nearby stalls had been warped into twisted steel skeletons.
+  It was a spectacle that made Soujyuro question what the greater obstacle to their escape was―the wall of bread-men, or Aoko's ability to lay waste to things?
 "Hey! Don't wander off! It's dangerous if you don't stick close to me!
   Come on, get closer!
   We're out of strikes, you know? If they surround you, you're a goner! You should know, hostages don't mean squat to me, and it's not like I can pick out my targets precisely anyway!"
@@ -7293,7 +7293,7 @@
   His eyes stayed firmly focused on the egg overhead, even amidst the chaos of the melee unfolding before him.
 "I don't know why I worried.
   You may not be the sharpest tool, but you sure are good at following orders."
-"One thing, Aozaki. Was I imagining things, or did those bread men seem tougher than before?"
+"One thing, Aozaki. Am I imagining it, or do those bread men seem tougher than before?"
 "...No, you weren't imagining that. They're getting stronger.
   They must have nailed down their mass-production process, so they've turned their attention to upping the quality."
 "As you figured out already, they're just going to get tougher as we go. It seems like even those bread guys have started to develop individuality.
@@ -7307,7 +7307,7 @@
   Aoko took a quick, deep breath, then began to sprint once again.
   Far in the distance, through the fog, the iron fence waited, three hundred paces away.
   As long as nothing happened, they would make it there in one piece.
-  Soujyuro followed after Aoko, holding onto that all-too convenient hope.
+  Soujyuro followed after Aoko, holding onto that all too convenient hope.
   He was still in a deep sleep...
   It all seemed ablaze in a mad, fiery red.
   Unbearable idle thoughts...
@@ -7480,7 +7480,7 @@
   There was no response.
   Just as he was thinking it would have been better to keep quiet, she quietly raised her hand.
 "This is yours, is it not?"
-  Her voice was  cold, but melodic .
+  Her voice was cold, but melodic.
   A white piece of cloth was wrapped in her fingers.
   There was no need to tell him what it was.
   He was conscious enough to recognize his own possessions.
@@ -7724,7 +7724,7 @@
 "But make no mistake.
   Your status here is the lowest of the low, even lower than a dog's. Since that night, I'm the one to decide whether you live or die, which means you belong to me now.
   Is that clear enough for you?"
-  As Alice finished her declaration, Soujyuro subtly looked up at the ceiling so she would not notice his reaction.
+  As Aoko finished her declaration, Soujyuro subtly looked up at the ceiling so she would not notice his reaction.
   He meant no offense to Aoko, but he had to hide the fact that he fundamentally disagreed with her analogy.
   In Soujyuro's opinion, it was disrespectful to both dogs and humans to call him lower than a dog. A more accurate analogy of their power dynamic would be that of a rabbit and a wild boar, hence why he chose not to voice this opinion.
 "...Haa."
@@ -7837,7 +7837,7 @@
   Seeing as how he was going to be stuck here for the foreseeable future, he found it hard to get excited about living in a haunted house.
 "So that's the drawing room, and a little farther down is the kitchen. It's fine for cooking simple meals.
   Here, next to the drawing room, is the sunroom, which we use as a dining room,
-but we'll get into that later."
+ but we'll get into that later."
   Aoko said, reaching for a door along the dim corridor.
   However, she paused before turning the knob.
   She flashed Soujyuro a meaningful glance, which she quickly withdrew.
@@ -7868,7 +7868,7 @@
   I do hope you haven't forgotten about what happened at the amusement park."
   Alice's voice was a mixture of judgment and scrutiny.
   She was aware that from an outsider's perspective she and Aoko appeared dangerous. She wanted to know if Soujyuro was up to the challenge of living with such people.
-"I wish it had all been a bad dream, but I remember it perfectly. 
+"I wish it had all been a bad dream, but I remember it perfectly."
   Above all else, it was the only way they would let him live.
   Alice responded apathetically with a noncommittal murmur.
   She silently placed a small object on the table with a clink.
@@ -7977,7 +7977,7 @@
 "I still don't really get it, though, even after that experience.
   Compared to the crazy stuff I've seen you do, Aozaki, whatever the heck just happened to me was hardly unbelievable."
 "W-Wha...
-Of course not! Alice and I are totally different."
+ Of course not! Alice and I are totally different.
   I already told you, even in our world, her magecraft is considered over-the-top and unspeakably horrible."
 "...How rude. When it comes to which of us is more of a threat to human life, I think you're far more dangerous than me.
   And that's besides the point. I'm starting to harbor doubts about you even wanting to kill him in the first place.
@@ -7986,7 +7986,7 @@
  Of course I wanted to kill him!
   I don't know what he's told you, but you've got it all twisted!
   This guy doesn't realize he's in danger until he gets burned.
-And even then, he'd probably think "well at least I'm still alive" and whistle all the way home!
+And even then, he'd probably think 'well at least I'm still alive' and whistle all the way home!
   Isn't that right, Soujyuro?!"
 "Huh?"
   He had no idea why she was suddenly shouting, but he nodded anyway just to be safe.
@@ -8055,8 +8055,8 @@
   You'll often hear us say 'Mystic' or 'mystery,' which come from a Greek word that means 'to shut the mouth.' It follows that magecraft would cease to be if its secrets were revealed.
   Civilization has always treated the unexplored and the unknown as things to be feared because of their mysterious nature."
 "But we don't hide ourselves because we fear persecution if we're discovered.
-  What we fear is all mages, or more importantly magecraft,
-  being weakened the our arts are revealed. So by protecting our secrecy, we're also protecting our own future."
+  What we fear is the loss of the unknown itself.
+  When our arts are revealed, they become weaker. So by protecting our secrecy, we're also protecting our own future."
 "...I'm not clear on how magecraft works yet, but I think what you're saying is that if you don't keep it a secret, it gets weaker.
   So then, does that mean you got weaker now that I saw you, Aozaki?"
 "No, not particularly.
@@ -8347,7 +8347,7 @@
   About your room, it's up on the third floor. There's a set of stairs on the far side of the second floor hall, so use those. Also, this is not a dorm, so you're free to spend your time however you want.
   But whatever you do, do not go into the west wing. I rent the east wing, so it should be relatively safe in comparison, but still, it's generally safer to not wander around.
 In other words, the safest places for you are your room and the drawing room."
-"W-Wait, is that  really all you're going to tell me about the mansion?!"
+"W-Wait, is that  really all you're going to tell me about the mansion?!
   Aozaki, that's messed up! That seems way more important to explain than magecraft!"
   He desperately called out to her as she began to leave the drawing room.
   Aoko could not help by pity Soujyuro.
@@ -8595,7 +8595,7 @@
   Teachers don't really care that much about your grades, you know. Even if you all fail, it's not like anything bad will happen to us.
   But there is one student who does bother me..."
 "I think you know who I'm talking about-you chose her to represent the entire student body, a monumentally awful decision.
-She makes a daily point to threaten to report me to the Board of Education, claiming my students' grades are the result of poor instruction rather than lack of studying.
+  She makes a daily point to threaten to report me to the Board of Education, claiming my students' grades are the result of poor instruction rather than lack of studying.
   She said if students' scores don't improve, she'd come supervise my classes herself. What kind of student even says such a thing?!"
 "..."
   The warm atmosphere in the room suddenly fell below freezing.
@@ -8754,7 +8754,7 @@
   Alice seemed unable to grasp Aoko's metaphor.
   Meanwhile, Aoko had had it up to here with her roommate's lack of self-awareness and was starting to lose her cool.
 "If you really don't care, then quit worrying so much about him! If he notices you gawking at him, he might just get the wrong idea!
-He's probably thinking, 'Alice looked like she wanted to patch things up. Maybe I should go stop by her room.'
+  He's probably thinking, 'Alice looked like she wanted to patch things up. Maybe I should go stop by her room.'
  Or even worse!"
 "...You really think so?"
 "Yes! If it were me you were doing that to, I'd be dragging you out back and smacking you senseless. Bitch."
@@ -8830,7 +8830,7 @@
   Where Aoko glanced casually at Soujyuro.
 "So, any thoughts?"
   Surprisingly, Soujyuro saw through her harmless question and sensed the bigger issue.
-How was he going to win Alice over?
+  How was he going to win Alice over?
   In fact he had been thinking about that very question.
   According to his friend...
   There were three basic approaches he could take.
@@ -9271,7 +9271,7 @@
   You can get less than average marks and still pass. You'll probably be able to go to bed by three."
   She nodded with satisfaction, pleased by his studious attitude.
   He had plenty of obstacles ahead of him, but that sense of humility might be enough to see him through.
-"Wait, what was I thinking? I can't afford to be this soft on you."
+"Wait, what was I thinking? I can't afford to be this soft on you.
   Sizuki, let me be straight about this... temporary arrangement. It's not every day I offer private, one-on-one lessons like this.
   This is beyond rare, an exception among exceptions. And don't you go forgetting that."
   She spoke more to convince herself than him, but his expression still darkened.
@@ -9474,8 +9474,8 @@
   Soujyuro quietly reprimanded himself for getting so wrapped up in his own little world.
   In the past few weeks since moving here he had been constantly comparing the town with his former mountain home.
   Normally he would not get upset over it,
-  but in recent days-since meeting Aoko, as it happened-he had become rather hung up on the differences.
-  He was none the wiser as to why, but he knew that Aoko was a force that could not be stopped.
+  but in recent days--since meeting Aoko, as it happened--he had become rather hung up on the differences.
+  The reasons for this eluded him, but he knew that Aoko was a force that could not be stopped.
   This naturally made him want to quicken his own pace.
   The mansion where they both lived was the antipathy of her lively personality.
   It stood out like a sore thumb, even in a town like Misaki.
@@ -9756,7 +9756,7 @@
   But before he could...
   A sound behind him stopped him in his tracks.
   He turned around with his bag under his arm and tray in his hands.
-So as not to cause even a ripple in her teacup, he greeted her,
+  So as not to cause even a ripple in her teacup, he greeted her,
 "Hey,"
   in a light, easygoing manner.
   She remained seated next to the fireplace like a black-eyed sleeping beauty.
@@ -9788,7 +9788,7 @@
 "Me? Not Aoko?"
 "Hm? Well, I have lots to talk to Aozaki about. In fact, I think all three of us should sit down at some point..."
   Alice found herself out of kilter, unable to read his true intentions.
-  Soujyuro continued on, none the wiser to her bewilderment.
+  Soujyuro continued on, failing to notice her bewilderment.
 "Aozaki said you two rarely speak to each other. I'd feel bad if that's because of me, but I'd feel even worse if it isn't.
   It's sad that we live together but never talk."
   Each word he spoke was heavy with emotion.
@@ -9882,7 +9882,7 @@
   Her gaze said what she really wanted to ask. She wanted to know why he did not beg for his life.
   She knew the answer.
   She saw the look on his face when he turned to leave without so much as trying to wake her.
-A look of resignation.
+  A look of resignation.
   What on earth had it meant?
 "What do you expect me to say?
   I thought if the opportunity didn't present itself, then so be it.
@@ -10095,7 +10095,7 @@
   To Soujyuro, Kumari had been the first person in the city he could look up to.
   They'd met at his first job,
   where she insisted he wasn't cut out to work the register after many mistakes, and convinced him to quit working at convenience stores altogether.
-In the end, she introduced him to his current job at the Chinese restaurant, The Mad Bear, a much better fit for Soujyuro.
+  In the end, she introduced him to his current job at the Chinese restaurant, The Mad Bear, a much better fit for Soujyuro.
 "You look a little worse for wear, Sizuki. Why the long face? I've never seen you so pouty.
   Usually, standing up straight is the one thing you're good at.
   Something on your mind? ...Wait, are you getting bullied by the older guys at The Mad Bear? You can tell me anything, you know."
@@ -10236,7 +10236,7 @@
 "Hunters started using the latest technological breakthrough, the telegraph, to keep track of where the passenger pigeons were. Soon they had shot down two hundred thousand, and injured forty thousand more.
   That left only five thousand passenger pigeons in the world. And at that point they could no longer survive in the wild."
   Soujyuro's face sunk into a scowl.
-No longer able to survive in the wild...
+  No longer able to survive in the wild...
   He knew all too well what that phrase meant.
   No wild animal can last long on its own.
   No animal can survive without a sufficiently large population of their fellow kind and sufficient feeding grounds to support the group.
@@ -10260,7 +10260,7 @@
   But it doesn't make sense. Why would humans keep passenger pigeons in captivity after working so hard to kill them?"
   Kumari stared blankly at him, eyebrows raised high.
   What he likely meant to ask was why humans would protect the last of a species
-they themselves had hunted into extinction.
+  they themselves had hunted into extinction.
   Kumari could hardly be blamed for her bewilderment.
   Having been raised in the city she failed to recognize the danger inherent in his cluelessness.
   He felt neither anger toward humans
@@ -10333,7 +10333,7 @@
   Sling yer hook, boy!"
 "Owww!"
   Before he could make another move
-he felt something slam into the back of his head―a bright shock of blue.
+ he felt something slam into the back of his head―a bright shock of blue.
   He knew what it was without looking.
   It could only be the mansion's blue robin.
 "Why does that thing have to start messing with me as soon as I get home?"
@@ -10629,7 +10629,7 @@
   Perhaps because of his time spent growing up in the mountains, Soujyuro quickly sprinted over the slippery dead leaves.
   Tobimaru was not particularly cautious himself, but nevertheless he could not keep up with Soujyuro in here.
   Before long, Soujyuro found himself running alone.
-  When piles of leaves blocked the natural trail he would sometimes knock them away with both hands and sometimes expertly slip through them.
+  When foliage blocked the natural trail, he would sometimes clear it away by brute force. But just as often, he would expertly weave through the brush.
   It was clear that he was used to dealing with this level of nature.
   After a few minutes, Soujyuro arrived at a clearing.
   The wall of trees had ended.
@@ -11384,7 +11384,7 @@
   Apparently she got it from her father. She was trying to work on it, but it was hard to fix an old habit she had since elementary school.
 "Is this even going to work with a report that old, though? Don't you think they'll notice?"
 "Well, it's better than nothing, isn't it?
-They told me they marked all the out of date data and that I just need to change those numbers by looking at the textbooks."
+  They told me they marked all the out of date data and that I just need to change those numbers by looking at the textbooks."
 "That's dumb. If they did all that, they could just change it themselves! How long have you been working on this?"
 "Since this morning. It's really not bad money for a half day's work.
   They're paying me 10,000 yen per report."
@@ -11500,7 +11500,7 @@
   Back at the school entrance ceremony. Right, Kinomi?"
   Kinomi froze and glanced back at Tobimaru's provocation.
 "Oh yeah, duh! I just remember seeing this chick with a smoking bod, and before I knew it I was reaching out to touch her!
-I was like, 'Hey, so what class are you in, girl?'
+  I was like, 'Hey, so what class are you in, girl?'
   I didn't really mean to touch her like that though.
   I really tried to stop myself, but I think my brain had a major malfunction, and my hand just went for it!"
   Kinomi laughed loudly as he gazed up at the sky.
@@ -11508,7 +11508,7 @@
 "...You idiot.
 How are you even still alive after that?"
 "I know, right?! I thought she knocked my jaw clean off!
-  It wasn't just a slap or a fist, you know? People were sayin' that it was like her foot was one of those swimboards if you dunk 'em deep in the water, shooting up to my chin like BAM!"
+  It wasn't just a slap or a fist, you know? People were sayin' that it was like her foot was one of those swimboards if you dunk 'em deep in the water, shooting up to my chin like BAM!
   ...I can tell you this now, but I don't have the slightest memory of anything that happened after that!"
 "..."
   Rubbing his jaw, Kinomi returned to their side, tired of wasting his energy chasing after the Class A boys.
@@ -11537,7 +11537,7 @@
   Anyway...
 "Kinomi. What did you say that time?"
 "Huh? Oh, you mean my surefire pickup line?
-I was like, 'Wow. You're beautiful! My dad actually owns that building over there. Do you wanna hang out and do something?'
+  I was like, 'Wow. You're beautiful! My dad actually owns that building over there. Do you wanna hang out and do something?'
   She ended up running off when she found out I was lying, though!"
 "I'm not talking about that. I meant at the entrance ceremony."
 "Oh, that!
@@ -11968,7 +11968,7 @@
   Soujyuro reached in and pulled out the contents of his pockets without knowing why he was being scolded.
   He placed the now all too familiar brown envelope on the table.
   It was far too thick to be any normal envelope.
-  It was bright, enticing, almost magical.
+  Bright and enticing, it was imbued with a enchanting aura all its own...
   There was nothing else it could be than a stack of cash.
 "Well. What do we have here?"
   Alice innocently asked Soujyuro.
@@ -11997,7 +11997,7 @@
   But please, don't worry. It's honestly something that helps people. I've only met the person who recommended me for the job once, and I'm always paid in cash."
 "You bumpkin! All of that sounds suspicious as hell!"
   Aoko stamped her foot in frustration.
-But who could blame her after hearing the standard lines for a scam: "it's a new job," "the pay is good and anyone can do it," and "I'm not supposed to talk about it."
+  But who could blame her after hearing the standard lines for a scam: "it's a new job," "the pay is good and anyone can do it," and "I'm not supposed to talk about it."
   Despite all that...
   Soujyuro was still refusing to spill the beans.
   They hadn't known each other for that long, but Aoko was well aware of Soujyuro's personality.
@@ -12307,7 +12307,7 @@
 "I tried to tail him and find that out, actually... but I got nowhere.
   All I know is that he turned and walked towards 2nd Street from the train station."
   The vice-president was used to this.
-He didn't bother saying anything about her going so far as to tail Soujyuro.
+  He didn't bother saying anything about her going so far as to tail Soujyuro.
 "2nd Street, huh... There's just a bunch of pachinko parlors and arcades around there. I can't think of anywhere that'd be paying him tens of thousands of yen a day."
 "I know, right? I mean, if I knew a place like that, I'd be inclined to work there myself.
   I just want to make sure, but the only place you can gamble in Misaki is the pachinko parlor, right?"
@@ -12330,7 +12330,7 @@
   There really wasn't much to talk about.
 "Let's try to tail him again tomorrow. It'll be harder to lose him if there's two of us."
 "Yeah, you're right. We don't have any other clues at the moment, so let's just pick this up tomorrow.
-All we know is he's making lots of money, and that's not really...
+  All we know is he's making lots of money, and that's not really...
  Hmm..."
   Tobimaru furrowed his brow. It seemed he had thought of something.
   His expression turned more dire by the second.
@@ -12341,7 +12341,7 @@
   Aoko nodded. She had put two and two together.
 "...I know who you're talking about."
   The two immediately left the park to go and find the suspect.
-"What's happenin'?"
+"What's happenin'?
   You know I can't turn down an invite even if I'm in the middle of studying. I'm here to party, guys!"
   Suspect A was apprehended with ease.
   Aoko and Tobimaru were both on the student council, so they knew their target would be at school for remedial lessons.
@@ -12897,10 +12897,10 @@
 "Hm... But that still doesn't get rid of her suffering."
 "Don't worry about problems you can't solve.
   Focus on the problems you can help with.
-If you can convince her to let you give that money back so she can use it to help others and herself, then she's won.
+  If you can convince her to let you give that money back so she can use it to help others and herself, then she's won.
   That will give more meaning to her life than a fake grandson ever could."
 "But...
-If she says she's done enough, and she wants you to have the rest of her money...
+  If she says she's done enough, and she wants you to have the rest of her money...
   That means you've won.
   She'd prefer to think of you as her grandson. If that's the case, then there's no shame in taking that money from her."
 "...I see now."
@@ -13011,11 +13011,11 @@
   Aoko was quietly satisfied with the spoils of an honest day's work.
   December, the month when even monks were busy at work.
   It was the culmination of the year.
-  Perhaps due to all the put-off tasks that build up through the seasons, the month always seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye.
+  Perhaps due to all the put-off tasks built up through the seasons, the month always seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye.
   It was a day^ like any other in December.
   Though none of them were any the wiser to what the others were doing, Aoko, Alice, and Soujyuro had spent the day attending to their own affairs.
-"What... is this?!"
-  Suppressing the urge to murder someone, her terrifying voice boomed across the room.
+"What...is this?"
+  Aoko kept the urge to kill out of her voice, but her menacing tone still reverberated in the room.
   The sunroom was often used to dine in when the weather was nice, since it overlooked the courtyard.
   It was a room decorated with high-quality furniture and upholstery befitting an historic western style mansion.
   The fusion of Chinese Chippendale aesthetics and traditional English Georgian elegance caused even Aoko, a commoner, to think twice about doing anything "unaristocratic" on the grounds.
@@ -13025,36 +13025,36 @@
 "Soujyuro. Is this your idea of a practical joke?"
   Aoko's trembling fists clenched and unclenched, as she questioned the one responsible for today's menu.
   The clock struck nine in the evening.
-  The chef in charge nodded dutifully, eager to explain.
+  Tonight's executive chef nodded dutifully, eager to explain.
 "It's a new product from my workplace.
   Kinomi said it looks and tastes fake, but honestly I think it's better than the real thing.
   Besides, they're only forty yen each after the company discount.
 A steal, right? Even with the egg on top it's still only sixty yen or so."
-  The lackluster chef seemed pleased with himself as he boasted.
+  The corner-cutting chef seemed pleased with himself.
   Aoko wanted to grumble that the real steal was her appetite.
 "Well, isn't that nice for you.
   Now, where's tonight's dinner?"
-  The chef thought for a second or two, then clapped his hands together in revelation.
+  Chef Soujyuro thought for a second or two, then clapped his hands together in realization.
 "Aozaki, you know if you eat too much you'll get fat."
 "So what you're telling me is...
-  *This* is dinner?!"
-"No complaints, I'm not making anything else."
+  This slop is what you call dinner!?"
+"No complaints. I'm not making anything else."
   The two stood there, glaring at each other.
   Aoko gave off an air that said she would rather die than eat his "food,"
   while Soujyuro was convinced she would capitulate eventually.
-  So confident, he even considered chiding her about being so picky.
+  He even considered chiding her for being a picky eater.
   As usual, the two could not see eye to eye.
 "No way. There's no way I'm eating... whatever this is."
 "Don't be such a spoiled princess. Besides, tonight's dinner only cost two hundred yen for the three of us."
   Soujyuro puffed his chest out at his penny-pinching prowess.
   Alice alternated her gaze between the two quarreling roommates and the strange food before her, which she had also never seen before. She remained a mere bystander in all this.
-"U-Unbelievable... a sixty-yen meal for one person? What year is it?!
-  These days, even new beef bowl restaurants cost more than that in ingredients, you dip!"
-"...Aozaki. If we ate like you wanted with only thirty-thousand yen for food each month, I'm pretty sure we would all starve to death before you two could kill me."
+"U-unbelievable... a sixty-yen meal for one person? What year is it!?
+  These days, even cheap beef bowl places spend more on ingredients!"
+"...Aozaki. If we ate the way you wanted with only thirty thousand yen for food each month, I'm pretty sure we would all starve to death before you two could kill me."
 "I mean, sure, the meat Alice cooked yesterday was really something.
-  I was impressed at difference in quality at seven hundred yen per ounce.
+  I was impressed at the difference in quality at seven hundred yen per ounce.
   Even the 100% juice from the co-op made me rethink the idea of fresh food.
-  But, if we keep eating like we have the last three days, we'll go broke."
+  But, if we keep eating like we have for the last three days, we'll go broke."
   Soujyuro was making perfect sense, for once.
   Fortunately, neither Aoko nor Soujyuro noticed the silent stare of disapproval coming from Alice.
 "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
@@ -13065,13 +13065,13 @@
 "We made it work, thank you very much. Besides, living life one step from starvation keeps you on your toes."
 "..."
   Her brazen response left him speechless.
-  Though a story for another time, Soujyuro remembered a warning from a certain vice-president who was complaining about a certain president incessantly bugging him to take her to lunch at the end of the month.
+  Though a story for another time, Soujyuro remembered a warning from a certain vice president who had complained about a certain president incessantly bugging him to take her to lunch at the end of the month.
   But that was neither here nor there.
 "That was then, and this is now!
-  Where are those cooking skills you displayed before, Soujyuro?! That's the only reason I trusted you with today's meal!"
+  Where are those cooking skills you displayed before, Soujyuro!? That's the only reason I trusted you with today's meal!"
   Out of everything, that seemed to be what ate at Aoko the most.
   The stir-fried yaki-udon he had prepared previously had been very well received. It had even melted away Aoko's morning grumpiness with just one bite.
-  However, Soujyuro had not seen fit to tell them that that it was one of the only dishes in his limited repertoire.
+  However, Soujyuro had not seen fit to tell them that it was one of the only dishes in his limited repertoire.
   For a bachelor, the ability to cook is as close to a superpower as one could  get.
   Fifteen years into the future, it would likely become a highly desirable trait.
   Regardless, that misunderstanding had led Aoko and Alice to overestimate Soujyuro's culinary talents.
@@ -13094,28 +13094,28 @@
   Alice's faint voice drifted across the sunroom.
   And just like that, the night's menu had been decided by majority rule.
   Aoko's shoulders sank in disappointment at her lot that evening.
-  Come to think of it, Alice was always peculiar about things she deemed were "hers."
+  Come to think of it, Alice was always peculiar about things she deemed "hers."
   It was morning, and there were ten days left in December.
   While the rest of the city was preparing for Christmas festivities, Soujyuro headed to his part-time job.
-  Though it looked like it could snow at any minute, the tree-lined streets were bustling with people.
+  Though it looked like it could snow at any minute, the tree-lined streets were busy with foot traffic.
   These days were particularly merry.
-  Students on winter break spent their days hanging out with friends while they counted down the days until seasonal holidays.
-  A flashy banner for Christmas cakes.
-  Huge advertisements adorning the building fronts.
-  The station plaza bustling with pop-up stalls.
-  From among the crowd in this heaving district Soujyuro stepped into a phone booth.
+  Students on winter break spent their days hanging out with friends while they counted down the days until the holidays.
+  Colorful Christmas cakes lined storefronts, placed like charms to ward off evil.
+  Huge advertisements adorned the sides of buildings.
+  The station plaza bustled with pop-up stalls.
+  Soujyuro stepped out of the milling crowd and into a phone booth.
   Safe from the winter wind, the inside seemed warm by comparison.
   The thought that it would actually be nice to have one in the mountains 
 crossed his mind as he inserted a coin into the phone.
-  He dialed a number from memory, his hand moving on its own.
+  He dialed a number from memory, his fingers punching the keys with a somewhat practiced motion.
   After about five seconds, the phone began to ring.
   Another five seconds, another ring...
   Ten seconds had passed.
   He gazed through the window at the various signs on the surrounding buildings, and marveled at the sheer number of people out and about so early.
   The number he dialed was that of Tobimaru Tsukiji.
-  The Tsukiji name was well known in Misaki as a distinguished landowning family going back generations.
+  The Tsukiji name was well-known in Misaki as a distinguished landowning family going back generations.
   Incidentally, their residence was located in the neighboring town of Yashirogi.
-  The ringtone was finally replaced by the kind voice of an elderly woman.
+  A kind, elderly female voice finally replaced the ringtone.
   After her polite greeting, she handed over the phone to Soujyuro's target.
 "Morning, Tobimaru."
 "'Ey. Mornin'."
@@ -13124,87 +13124,87 @@
 "Mm. Speak."
   His response did not exactly inspire confidence in Soujyuro, but he cut right to the chase.
 "..."
-  The vice-president's pause was a long one.
+  There was a long pause.
   He was hard to read from this end of the receiver.
 "...This is what you wake me up for?
   Listen here, Soujyuro. If she's mad at you, take her out somewhere. Try to butter her up, show her a good time. If that doesn't do the trick, then cut her loose. What do you want me to say?"
   And with a "peace," Tobimaru hung up.
-  It may have been ten in the morning to Soujyuro, but after dealing with what seemed like a six o'clock Tobimaru, all he could do was accept his advice.
-  He could say all he liked about the guy's tone, but deep down he knew that his advice was sound.
+  It may have been ten in the morning to Soujyuro, but after dealing with what seemed like a six o'clock Tobimaru, all he could do nod earnestly.
+  He had a feeling his friend had just been trying to end the call, but deep down, he knew that the advice was sound.
   After the phone ordeal, Soujyuro finished up his shopping and returned to the mansion just before noon.
   He was greeted by the sight of Aoko and Alice sitting in silent gloom.
-  Though unsure of the circumstances, from the outside looking in it seemed like the aftermath of an argument.
-  It was similar to the calm after a violent blizzard accompanied by biting winds and stinging hail.
-  Or a similar atmosphere to the inside of an industrial freezer.
+  Though he was unsure of the circumstances, from the outside looking in, it seemed like the aftermath of an argument.
+  The silence was as deafening as a blizzard...or rather, the biting cold and stinging wind of it.
+  One might also compare the drawing room to an enormous walk-in freezer.
   It would not have been surprising to look up and see icicles hanging from the ceiling.
 (They're at it again.)
   He felt like a zookeeper pained to see the raccoon and penguin at each other's throats.
- He had seen this at his job at the zoo where he was a cleaner.
- Soujyuro found himself staring at them with the familiar forlorn look of the zookeeper.
+ In fact, he had seen this literally happen the other day at his zoo janitor job,
+ and now, he glanced between them like a zookeeper trying to gauge the animals' temper.
   Needless to say, the silence meant they were not fighting at this moment.
-  Dinner served as a respite from the infighting.
+  Dinner served as a respite from the conflict.
   Soujyuro was oblivious to the circumstances surrounding the quarrel, but their day-in day-out battles against the mysterious mage was clearly taking a toll.
 (Not that Alice looks anything but grumpy.)
-  Facing a quiet and contemplative Aoko, Alice was reading an old book, now sat on her lap, as she was accustomed to.
+  Across from the quiet and contemplative Aoko, Alice was reading an old book in her lap, as she was accustomed to.
   The book seemed somehow heavier than the other ones.
-"I'm home. Looks like I made it in time for truce."
-  He asked them as he took off his coat.
-"If only. A truce would mean we were getting somewhere.
-  No. You're way off, Soujyuro."
+"I'm home. Looks like I just missed the discussion."
+  He greeted them as he took off his coat.
+"If only. 'Discussion' implies progress.
+  You're way off, Soujyuro."
 "?"
   Without quite knowing what Aoko was getting at, Soujyuro quizzically tilted his head.
-  He told himself not to think too hard into it, but he could not entirely help it.
-"Besides, a truce would mean an agreement has been reached.
-  This is more of a... temporary ceasefire."
+  He told himself not to think too hard into it, but it only made him more curious.
+"In fact, we're not even close to an agreement.
+  If anything, I'd say we've debated ourselves into a corner."
   Seemingly too preoccupied to scold Soujyuro, Aoko waved her hand as though shooing off an insect.
   But Soujyuro being Soujyuro...
-"Okay, let me rephrase that.
-  Sooo, any progress then?"
-  Soujyuro was not willing to give up and held his ground.
+"Okay, let me start over.
+  Hey, you two. Any progress since last time?"
+  Soujyuro held his ground.
 "That's none of your business.
   What did l tell you? Mage affairs are not for your ears."
-  Her response was calm, but sharp.
+  Her response was calm, but pointed.
   Surliness was her weapon of choice, and today she seemed determined to swing it at will.
 "Yes, I remember. ...Did you two eat yet?"
   Soujyuro chose to brush off Aoko's attitude.
 If Aoko's weapon was surliness, Soujyuro's was blitheness.
-  And he wielded just enough to make Aoko flinch.
-"What's with you today? You're more... upbeat than usual."
-  Soujyuro shrugged his shoulders.
-"I'm not sure, I just have a good feeling about today.  By the way, I have a proposal for you."
-  He said as he dug around in the pocket of his now hung-up coat.
-  Aoko gave a puzzled stare, while Alice's ears perked up at how positive he sounded.
-"I got paid today.
-  Which means I have money. Which means we should go out and do something."
+  He wielded just enough of it to make Aoko flinch.
+"What's with you today? Did something nice happen to you?"
+  Soujyuro shook his head.
+"Not yet. But I do have a proposal for you."
+  He dug around in the pocket of his coat, which was now on a hanger.
+  Aoko gave him a dubious stare, while Alice's ears perked up at his upbeat tone.
+"Actually, today was payday.
+  Which means I have money. We should go out and do something."
   He spoke with a warm smile as he removed his wallet from his coat pocket.
   The other two did not know what to make of it.
 "Soujyuro...?"
   She wanted to take exception to his bright mood, but found herself wrestling with the idea of reacting positively to it.
   After all, he was making a gesture of good faith to try and make things better with what little funds he had.
   The thought itself was not a bad one.
-  And she wanted to accept his earnest goodwill, but there was always the chance that Alice would keep quiet until the slightest thing annoyed her, at which point she would dash all their plans.
+  While there was always the chance that Alice would keep quiet until the slightest thing annoyed her―at which point she would ruin everything―Aoko wanted to accept his goodwill.
   However, she was not in the mood to walk around town with either of the two, nor was the timing ideal.
 "Sorry, but I'm kinda busy. I'll take you up on it some other time though. Just remind me."
   Alice seemed to give the same response, though wordlessly.
   Soujyuro was not about to be held back by the sullen mood.
 "Busy doing what, sitting here in silence?
-  Wasn't it you, Aozaki, that said a change of pace was important when staying up all night? Sometimes you need to take one step back to take two steps forward."
+  Wasn't it you, Aozaki, that said a change of pace was important when working overnight? Sometimes you need to take one step back to take two steps forward."
   Soujyuro spoke with unusual confidence, as he drew two tickets from his wallet and slapped them on the table.
-  At first glance they looked like advance tickets to a movie...but not quite. They were tickets to a famous aquarium.
+  At first glance, they looked like advance tickets to a movie...but not quite. They were tickets to a famous aquarium.
   To get there, they would take the rapid train and subway to a city several times more modern than Misaki.
-  A city that housed the biggest shopping mall in the prefecture, set to open next year, as well as a multi-purpose auditorium big enough to stage international conferences and famous plays.
+  It housed not only the biggest shopping mall in the prefecture, but also a multi-purpose auditorium―set to open next year―designed to host international conferences and stage productions.
 "Oh, and eat some curry at Messiaen, on me."
   Saying that, he slapped two bills on the table, as if he had struck it rich.
   It was Soujyuro's turn to make dinner tonight, after all.
 "Be seeing you."
-  Finished saying his piece, Soujyuro returned his wallet to his coat pocket.
+  His business concluded, Soujyuro returned his wallet to his coat pocket.
   It was then that Aoko realized what Soujyuro meant by "be seeing you."
-"Y-You mean you're not coming with us?"
+"Y-you mean you're not coming with us?"
 "I have to work tonight."
   Soujyuro was almost too quick with his response, helping Aoko to see things for what they really were.
   Rather than for Soujyuro's benefit, his gesture was instead an attempt to ease the tension that had built up between Aoko and Alice.
   Though if asked, both girls would tell you it was an unnecessary gesture.
-  ...However.
+  Still...
   For him to pay this much attention to the household, if anything, gave Aoko reason to reflect on her own immaturity.
 "..."
   Aoko glanced over to the still-seated Alice.
@@ -13213,28 +13213,28 @@
 "...I'll go if you go.
   I'm almost done with my book."
 "Okay. It would be a waste not to."
-  Alice stood up from the sofa, resigned to her decision.
-  Soujyuro watched on, a satisfied smile upon his face.
+  Aoko stood up from the sofa, resigned to her decision.
+  Soujyuro watched on, a satisfied smile on his face.
   Twenty minutes later.
   As Aoko and Alice were done getting ready, Aoko called out to Soujyuro in the drawing room.
 "All right, we're leaving now. ...Soujyuro?"
   Soujyuro was crouched in front of the television, unaware that the two had entered the room.
-"Don't tell me the VCR is on the fritz again."
-"Oh, hey. Good timing. How do I-"
-  As he turned to face them, he froze.
+"Are you fiddling with the VCR?"
+"Oh, hey. Good timing. How do I―"
+  Pausing his audiovisual struggles, Soujyuro turned around.
 "..."
-  And facing them only exacerbated the problem.
-"You okay? Listen, we're taking you up on your offer and going out. ...Did you drop something behind the TV unit again?"
+  He froze in shock, forgetting what he was about to say.
+"You okay? Listen, we're taking you up on your offer and going out. ...Did you drop something behind the TV?"
   Soujyuro appeared to have gone stiff. Aoko stared at him curiously.
   Though Alice silently nodded along with his bizarre reaction,
   she kept her thoughts to herself.
 "...No.
   ...It's just...
- This uhhh..."
+ Um..."
   Still gawking, his voice stuck in his throat.
   He was blissfully unaware that the shock he was experiencing was the direct result of his emotional state.
 "Spit it out already.
-  "God, I wish your weird reactions made sense sometimes. Does Alice have something on her face, or...?"
+  God, I wish your weird reactions made sense sometimes. Does Alice have something on her face, or...?"
   Alice looked on in silence.
   He was not confused, or in a daydream. That much he could tell. But this frozen look was by all accounts a first for Soujyuro.
 "So what is it then?"
@@ -13269,22 +13269,22 @@
 "Soujyuro. What exactly did Kinomi say? Do you remember?"
 "Yeah, he said, 'I'll totally lend you this tape. When you get home, ^just watch the TV.'"
 "Great. So he left out the most important part.
-  Honestly... This is so sad it's almost scary. Just when I thought you could be normal. How you make it through a day is a mystery to me."
+  Honestly... This is so sad it's almost scary. Just when I thought you were finally adapting. How you make it through a day is a mystery to me."
   Exasperated, Aoko fetched the tape in question.
-  It was labeled "Wild Animal Kingdom: African Adventure."
+  It was labeled "GAKUGAKU Animal Kingdom: African Adventure."
   To Aoko, this knocked Housuke Kinomi down a level on the ratings file she kept with the student council.
 "Okay, you put the tape in the VCR, and push 'Play'. The tab isn't broken, so just be careful not to hit the record button."
 "What's a tab?"
 "Right here. See the indent on the side of the tape here? The 'tab' is this little plastic cover.
 If you snap this tab off, you can't record on this tape anymore.
   How can I explain this...? Think of it like a notebook for class.
-  If something is important, you can spray fixative over the page so it can't be erased. It's like a physical barrier protecting against common human error."
+  It's like a sealant you spray over the page so it can't be erased. Think of it as  a physical barrier against common human error."
   She inserted the tape into the VCR, and handed the remote to Soujyuro.
   Just this small interaction used up a fair bit of Aoko's patience.
   Completely ignorant of Aoko's feelings, Soujyuro gleefully pressed the play button.
 "Whew... I was afraid we weren't going to make it this far for a second there. That was a bit much, even for someone as out of place as you are.
   What were you doing up there in the mountains? Don't tell me you were some karate master, training against bears or something?"
-  Whether or not she knew this was rude, Soujyuro glanced at her with disdain.
+  Even Soujyuro managed to pick up on Aoko's rude tone, and he frowned disapprovingly.
 "Was that an attempt to insult me?"
 "Umm... You mean just now, or all the other times?"
   Aoko answered, unapologetically.
@@ -13300,16 +13300,16 @@
   Aoko shrugged at her past superficiality.
   And Soujyuro was led to believe yet another falsehood about modern life-that VCRs would go out of fashion.
 "Well then, we're off. Try not to burn the place to the ground.
-  And in case you were wondering, I know you were lying about going to work tonight."
-  Aoko said smiling as she walked out of the drawing room.
+  And in case you were wondering, I know you don't have work tonight."
+  Aoko walked out of the drawing room, smiling.
 "..."
   Her grin was the cheap shot that left Soujyuro speechless.
-  As he scratched his cheek, he was reminded of how she was not someone to be trifled with.
-  After watching the end of the drama between the other two, Alice made for the reception area as well.
+  As he scratched his cheek, he was reminded that she was not someone to be trifled with.
+  After watching the end of the drama between her housemates, Alice made for the reception area as well.
   Left alone in the room, Soujyuro took his seat on the sofa.
   ...Well.
   It was certainly not easy making everything run smoothly around these parts.
-  Until they came back, he could enjoy his crocodile watching in peace.
+  Until they came back, he could enjoy his crocodile-watching in peace.
   They took the subway from Misaki for six stations.
   From there, they rode another three stops by express train.
   After about an hour, Aoko and Alice arrived at Arisaka Station.
@@ -13317,7 +13317,7 @@
   It was as though an entire town full of tall buildings sprouted up in the middle of nowhere.
   It was near the end of December, in the middle of winter break.
   Even the bustling plaza in Misaki was quiet compared to Arisaka in the evening.
-  Whether its huge mall full of countless specialty stores, or its crowded multi-purpose auditorium, there really was something for everyone here.
+  Whether it was the huge mall full of countless specialty stores, or the crowded multi-purpose auditorium, there really was something for everyone here.
   For that reason, beyond its local residents, Arisaka's station was crowded with people from far and wide.
 "Cool. That must be their fancy new performance arts center.
   It's supposed to have the biggest concert hall in the prefecture. I wonder what it's like inside. Look how much grander it is than the buildings around it!"
@@ -13335,18 +13335,18 @@
 How incorrigible..."
 "Ah."
   Aoko cursed under her breath before hurrying them along.
-  Underneath the construction map read "With the support of the Kuonji Group."
+  Underneath the construction map read, "With the support of the Kuonji Group."
   The aquarium they were looking for was on the top floor of a massive building.
   Maybe it was because it was no longer a new attraction,
   or perhaps it was because the first-floor cinema drew the crowds...
-  But with only a few people scattered around the entrance, the atmosphere inside was very calm.
-  Not quiet, but desolate,
+  With only a few people scattered around the entrance, the atmosphere inside was very calm.
+  It wasn't quiet, but desolate,
   and far removed from the hustle and bustle outside.
-  Perhaps they were going for that museum-like vibe.
+  Perhaps they were going for a museum-like mood.
 "..."
   Alice quietly caught her breath, staring in awe.
-  Like a child seeing the circus for the first time.
-  Her eyes were wide in anticipation and wonder.
+  She was like a child seeing the circus for the first time,
+  her eyes wide in anticipation and wonder.
 "It's to the lady's liking I see. Good, good.
   I guess Soujyuro's idea wasn't totally off the mark, then, huh?"
   Aoko found herself smiling as well.
@@ -13354,15 +13354,15 @@
 "Not really. I just find rooftop aquariums to be kind of novel."
   According to the guide on the wall, the entrance to the aquarium was nearly as big as the Kuonji mansion's foyer.
   The outdoor penguin show was apparently suspended due to the star penguin "Flippy" undergoing treatment for an injury.
-  An unfortunate state of affairs, but one that did not stop Alice from continuing to read over the guide. Apparently she was quite familiar with penguin shows.
+  It was an unfortunate state of affairs, but one that did not stop Alice from continuing to read over the guide. Apparently, she was quite familiar with penguin shows.
   Then...
 "...Eh?"
-Said like someone who could not believe what they saw.
+" I can't believe it,"
   Alice quietly whimpered, as if holding back a scream.
-"Hm? Something the matter?"
+"Hey hey, what's wrong?"
   Aoko said, still looking at the floor plan.
   It was rare to see Alice getting this emotional outside of the mansion.
-  For some reason she was trembling.
+  For some reason, she was trembling.
   Nothing seemed terribly off about the aquarium's offerings.
 "There's no giant tortoises."
 "No what?"
@@ -13382,14 +13382,14 @@
   Presenting the tickets they received from Soujyuro, they headed toward the once popular entrance.
   From the entrance gate, the corridor stretched into a dark hallway completely illuminated in blue.
   Figures and faces became mere silhouettes in the darkness.
-  Not a darkness borne from magecraft, but a man-made area of twilight.
+  It was no darkness born from magecraft, but a man-made area of twilight...
   A world of shadow and blue, the only light being from the illuminated tanks.
   The two witches continued walking down the artificial ocean corridor.
-  Water tanks like windows into hundreds of different worlds.
-  Each with their own separate temperature and environment.
-  A snapshot of the same place at different times.
-  Mesmerized by the refracting images of the ocean floor, conversation grew sparse.
-"That reminds me, Alice, you have this huge mansion without a pool. What's up with that?"
+  Water tanks seemed like windows into hundreds of different worlds.
+  Each had their own separate temperature and environment.
+  It was as if they were snapshots of the same place at different times.
+  Mesmerized by the refracting images of the ocean floor, the housemates' conversation grew sparse.
+"That reminds me, Alice. You have this huge mansion without a pool. What's up with that?"
 "Figures. You come to an aquarium and that's what you think about.
   Wanting superfluous things is a bad habit of yours, Aoko."
 "Aww, a pool isn't superfluous. Besides, aren't pools more common in England than Japan?
@@ -13401,12 +13401,12 @@
   'Crawl'? 'Butterfly'? The people who invented those were probably half-fish anyway."
   Clack, clack, clack.
   Their pace was more delicate and solemn than a stroll along the beach.
-  Their conversation continued, but was only particular for being in particular.
+  It was the sort of absent-minded chat one might hear between girls anywhere in the world.
   In here, the only thing to do was look at blue screens.
-"I'm proud of you though, leaving him alone in the house. You're not worried he'll go snooping in the west wing, are you?"
+"I'm surprised you were willing to leave him alone in the house. You're not worried he'll go snooping in the west wing, are you?"
 "He... can't possibly be that foolish.
   Besides..."
-"It'd save us the trouble if he did?"
+"It'd save us trouble if he did?"
 "...It's not that.
   I just don't think he's the type to break his word."
   That he was not.
@@ -13431,7 +13431,7 @@
 "Incidentally, Aoko, what exactly is your plan for him?"
 "Well, once our current issue is resolved and things calm down, I'll find the rune for erasing his memory, and he'll forget we ever existed. He won't be a bother for much longer."
 "...A bother to whom? Me?"
-"Hm...? O-Oh.. .you know. Me .and you.
+"Hm...? O-oh, yeah. Obviously.
 Wow, this fish is really pretty! It makes me want to swim. Hey, we should go to the beach next summer!"
 "The beach... You mean...by the ocean?"
 "Of course. You know, fun under the hot summer sun, sand between your toes, watching the sun set on the horizon...
@@ -13441,20 +13441,20 @@
   Clack, clack, clack.
   The two girls journeyed to the next oceanic wonderland,
   mutually taking in the sights.
-  The visitors to these winter waters had begun to leave, satisfied by their touring.
+  The visitors to these winter waters had begun to leave, satisfied by their tour.
   The sound of their footsteps heralded their farewell.
   An hour into the wayfaring sea voyage...
   Losing themselves in the maze-like corridors of seemingly endless exhibits, they somehow found themselves on the next floor.
   Aoko had heard that the aquarium was situated on the top floor, and was shocked to find out there was yet another above it.
   It was likely by design that the actual top floor could only be accessed from within the aquarium.
-  Moments of intrigue such as this are what attractions are made of.
+  Moments of intrigue such as this are what attractions were made for.
 "Alice?"
   Turning this way and that, she found Alice had disappeared.
-  She had just been there, however, and Aoko took to looking for her.
+  Her houesmate had just been there, however, and Aoko took to looking for her.
   She soon found her nearby.
   Her white overcoat shone brightly in front of the dimly lit exhibit.
   She was staring motionless into the water tank.
-  She almost looked to be staring through it, distracted by something.
+  Alice almost looked to be staring through it, as though distracted by something.
 "What's wrong, Alice? Are you feeling okay?"
   She spoke, hoping to snap her out of it.
   Alice's typically cold aura seemed to have all but left her.
@@ -13473,21 +13473,21 @@
   Alice, unmoved, fixated on the sunfish.
   It clumsily drifted around its tank, occasionally bumping into the glass as it turned.
 "Aoko, this little one can't swim well."
-  Alice extended her finger toward the glass, then retracted it feeling childish.
+  Alice extended her finger toward the glass, then retracted it, feeling childish.
 "Well, whatever. I suppose sunfish have their own charm."
   It did not seem like Alice was going to budge.
   Resigning herself, Aoko stayed with Alice while she stared at the cushion-shaped fish.
-"Huh. They have eyes like puffer fish. It also says here that the females can produce more eggs than any other known vertebrate, up to three-hundred million at a time. Neat...
+"Huh. They have eyes like puffer fish. It also says here that the females can produce more eggs than any other known vertebrate, up to three hundred million at a time. Neat...
   The babies become prey to other fish, so in a way giving birth to so many is a means of survival for them."
   Though Aoko seemed taken in by the biological details of the fish, Alice couldn't have cared less.
   She was lost in the ebb and flow of emotions between wonder and woe with every clumsy bump of the fish into the glass.
-  When out of nowhere, she softly spoke...
+  Out of nowhere, she softly spoke.
 "About before..."
-"Before? When?"
+"Huh? Before? When?"
 "About him. About leaving the house in his care."
   It seemed like Alice had returned to her normal self.
-  That cold aura.
-  Wherever, inside the mansion or out, that stubborn chill that pushed people away was back.
+  There was that cold aura.
+  Whether inside the mansion or out, that stubborn chill that pushed people away was back.
 "I haven't changed my mind.
   He is still a complete unknown. How can I trust someone I know nothing about?"
 "...I guess. But then why let him...?"
@@ -13497,7 +13497,7 @@
   But because of her trust in Aoko, she could trust in Aoko's decision to allow him to stay.
   It seemed Alice was challenging her own feelings.
   She said she could not trust someone she did not know.
-  Or in other words, she wished to trust a person, and in order to do so she needed to know more about them.
+  In other words, she wished to trust him, and in order to do so, she needed to know more about him.
 "Well, I don't really know how to respond to that, Alice.
   Also, I had no idea you trusted me that much."
 "I do trust you. I may not be fond of you, but I trust you.
@@ -13509,174 +13509,174 @@
 "...Such a kind face, but so clearly scarred."
   One last, small whisper.
   And with that, she bid farewell to the lonely figure in the tank.
-  The sun sets early during winter.
-  Falling below the horizon by four in the afternoon.
+  The sun set early during winter.
+  By four in the afternoon, it had already fallen below the horizon.
   Evening seemed to arrive at the mansion earlier than in the city.
 "I see. Now I know all about crocodiles."
   Soujyuro sat alone, sipping his warm tea in the chilly room.
   He relaxed on the couch staring out the window, having had his fill of crocodiles.
-  Once he sprawled out on he sofa, his body refused to move. Maybe he'd had always wanted to try it.
-  After three straight hours of crocodile-watching, he wondered what it would be like to laze there for the remainder of the day, as he nervously checked over his shoulder.
+  Once he sprawled out on the sofa, his body refused to move. Maybe he'd had always wanted to try it.
+  After three straight hours of crocodile-watching, he intently pondered what it would be like to laze there for the remainder of the day like a reptile.
 "..."
-  Just as he was considering taking the opportunity to nap until Aoko and Alice returned, an unfamiliar sound echoed through the halls of the mansion.
+  Just as he was considering the opportunity nap until Aoko and Alice returned, an unnatural noise echoed through the halls of the mansion.
 "...?"
-  Undergoing a sluggish evolution of his very own, he rose from all fours to being a bipedal.
-  There was a knocking sound at regular intervals.
-  The sound, distinctly coming from the front door, was more familiar now. He had experienced it before during his days in the apartment.
+  Sluggishly, he rose from all fours to a bipedal state, as if undergoing an evolution of his own.
+  It was a knocking sound that repeated itself regularly, with patient pauses in between.
+  He recognized the cadence from something he'd experienced at his apartment before.
 "...Hm? A newspaper salesman?"
-  As he made for the foyer, Soujyuro noted how impressed he was that they had hiked all the way up the hill.
-  The sound resounded eerily.
+  Making for the foyer, Soujyuro was impressed that they had hiked all the way up the hill.
+  The knocking resounded eerily.
   Without a doorbell of any kind, visitors had no choice but to rap on the door using whatever they had in hand.
-  It would take an iron clenched fist to produce that kind of sound.
+  It would take a literal iron fist to produce the din Soujyuro heard now.
   From his position in the hall, the front door looked like an ornately built fortification.
-  The strong double doors looked as though they could withstand any onslaught of blows.
-  They rattled in protest to the repeated knocking.
-  Try as this person might, it seemed no amount of enemy attack could breach the castle gate.
-  But Soujyuro, having experienced selling newspapers himself, announced himself.
+  The sturdy double doors looked as though they could withstand any onslaught of blows.
+  But now, they rattled in protest to the repeated knocking.
+  Whoever the visitor was, they seemed determined to breach the castle gate by force if its defender refused to sally forth.
+  Fortunately for them, Soujyuro was sympathetic, having experience selling newspapers himself.
 "Just a second!"
-  He knew what it was like to be in their shoes, so was unsurprised by their unwillingness to surrender.
+  He knew what it was like to be in those shoes, so was unsurprised by their persistence.
 "..."
-  There stood the second surprise today.
-  Soujyuro stood speechless and motionless.
-  The young woman hardly looked the part of a newspaper salesman.
-  Standing in the courtyard against a backdrop of the dusk horizon, she looked more suited to being a resident of this western style mansion, at least more so than Soujyuro.
-  She had a dainty frame but a striking presence nonetheless.
-  She was a little shorter than Soujyuro, but tall for a woman.
-  Her light green clothing was delicate yet flashy, and clearly something out of foreign fashion.
-  Bold, but prim and proper.
-  Though slightly loud, her appearance spoke of strength and confidence-
-  the kind of woman not to be trifled with that Soujyuro knew all too well.
-  Only, unlike the ones he knew, this woman appeared more friendly than intimidating.
+  There stood the second surprise of the day.
+  Soujyuro was struck speechless.
+  He was greeted by a young woman who hardly looked the part of a newspaper hawker.
+  Standing in the courtyard against a dusk-lit horizon, she appeared more at home in the European mansion than Soujyuro did.
+  She carried a dignified air, in spite of her dainty frame.
+  While a tad shorter than Soujyuro, she was tall for her sex.
+  Her green clothing was subtly colored yet flashy, and clearly inspired by foreign fashion.
+  She seemed prim and proper, yet bold―
+  though vaguely garish, her appearance spoke of strength and confidence.
+  Soujyuro knew all too well that such a woman was not to be trifled with.
+  Only, unlike the one he knew, this stranger appeared more friendly than intimidating.
   Perhaps it was her short hair that made her look approachable.
   Bright and brown, it stopped just above the nape of her neck.
-  Soujyuro, yet to say a word, thought what a shame it was to be so short.
+  Soujyuro silently thought that it was a shame she hadn't grown it out.
   She looked at him and offered a smile.
-  Despite looking older than Soujyuro, this made her appear impish and cute.
+  Despite seeming visibly older than him, this made her appear impish and cute.
 "..."
-  Soujyuro knew himself to be made of stronger stuff than to fall for cute smiles, and found it more than a little suspicious.
-  At any rate, it was rude to stare for so long.
-"Umm... Can I help you?"
-  He asked shyly, steeling himself.
+  Soujyuro reacted with suspicion, knowing better by now than to fall for a charming smile.
+  At any rate, it was rude to stare.
+"Um, can I help you?"
+  He tried not to look flustered as he greeted the visitor.
   To which she replied,
 "Good evening. Is Aoko home?"
-  She smiled as she used Aoko's first name with a sense of familiarity.
+  She smiled as she used Aoko's first name with a familiar tone.
 "Aozaki isn't home right now."
   She smiled again, this time deviously upon learning of Aoko's absence.
 "Then I take it Miss Kuonji is away, too?"
   Soujyuro looked perplexed.
-  This was the first time he had heard Alice referred to by her last name only, and again, spoken with customary respect.
-"I see. It's nice that they can get out during the day, instead of only the dead of night.
-I was under the impression living together was merely a facade, but they really do get along."
+  This was the first time he had heard Alice referred to by her last name only, and again, with the familiarity of an old friend.
+"I see. It's nice to hear that they can get out during the day, instead of only during the dead of night.
+I was under the impression that living together was merely a facade, but they really do get along."
   Soujyuro found himself nodding in response to her smile.
-  Though it was clear she knew Aoko and Alice, she was giving him an uncomfortable feeling.
-  Likely in her mid twenties, she did not appear that much older than he was.
-  Behind her carefree tone and bright smile, she was clearly trying to hide something.
-"So they won't be home until the evening then?"
-"No. I expect them home before the last train, though."
+  It was strange enough that the visitor knew both Aoko and Alice, but Soujyuro found her odd as well.
+  Likely in her early twenties, she did not appear much older than he was.
+  She was clearly hiding something behind her nonchalant manner and bright smile.
+"So they won't be home until the evening, then?"
+"That's correct, though I expect them back before the last train."
 "I see. And who might you be?"
-  Soujyuro, ever-so troubled by her forwardness, wanted to ask her the same.
-  Alas, "Who are you?" was a question far too difficult for Soujyuro.
-"I'm sorry. I don't really know how to answer that."
-  I guess I'm just house-sitting. I'm a friend of Aozaki's, to tell the truth."
-  A response with not an ounce of truth to it.
+  Soujyuro, troubled by her forwardness, wanted to ask her the same.
+  Alas, "who are you?" was a question far too difficult for Soujyuro.
+"I'm sorry. I don't really know how to answer that.
+  For now, I'm the house-sitter. I'm a friend of Aozaki's, to tell the truth."
+  It was a response without an ounce of persuasion to it.
   The young woman's face lit up at what she believed was the boy's attempt to tease her.
-"Aren't you a funny one. What's your name, dear?"
+"Aren't you a funny one? What's your name, dear?"
 "It's... Soujyuro Sizuki."
   His shy answer made her giggle.
-  Soujyuro could not understand what he said that was so funny, but her laugh did not offend him. Rather than seeming derogatory, it came across as warm and affable.
+  Soujyuro had no idea what he'd said that was so funny, but her laugh did not offend him. It came across as warm and affable, rather than derogatory.
   Then...
-  After finishing giggling, she looked him straight in the eye and gave him a soft look.
-"I think I like you... Soujyuro.
-  A fine name, though it doesn't really suit you. Now then, pour me some tea, will you?"
-"Huh? W-Wait."
-  She stepped past him into the mansion, and swiftly left him at the door.
-"Oh wow, it's just as I remember it.
-  I thought she would have repaired the damaged pieces, what with taking the trouble to bring them all the way here. It looks like even the warped columns are as warped as ever."
-  She said, cheerfully inspecting the foyer.
+  After she finished giggling, the woman fixed him with rather a rather tender look.
+"I think I like you. Soujyuro, was it?
+  A fine name for hypnosis, though it doesn't really suit you. Now then, pour me some tea, would you?"
+"Huh? Uh, wait―"
+  She slipped past him into the house, boldly striding through the entrance hall.
+"Wow, it's just as I remember it.
+  I thought she would have repaired the damaged pieces, what with taking the trouble to bring them all the way here. I would have fixed up the warped columns, at least."
+  The visitor cheerfully inspected the foyer.
   Soujyuro still stood at the entrance.
-  The clicking of her heels on the wooden floor jumped around as she moved towards the drawing room.
+  The clicking of her heels on the wooden floor echoed as she moved toward the drawing room.
 "Why are you standing there? The drawing room is this way, isn't it?"
   She disappeared from the foyer into the drawing room, oddly familiar with the layout of the house.
 "Does she know Aozaki from school? Or maybe she knows Alice?"
   Soujyuro muttered to himself, walking to the drawing room.
   He entered to see the woman walking around the room gleefully.
-  Like a child seeing a park the first time in ages,
-  breathing in the nostalgia,
-  twirling as girls are wont to do.
+  Like someone strolling down a park boulevard,
+  she peered around, breathing in the nostalgia,
+  twirling with ladylike―or rather, girlish―glee.
 "Hm? Wait a minute... This TV is..."
-  She stared at the television inquisitively, perhaps owing to the fact that she had never seen a thirty-inch television before.
-  Awkwardly, the TV was still displaying images of the wild animal kingdom.
-  Soujyuro wished he would have stopped the video before he answered the door.
+  She stared at the television inquisitively. Perhaps she had never seen a thirty-inch television before.
+  Awkwardly for Soujyuro, the cathode-ray tube was still displaying images of the animal kingdom.
+  He wished he'd stopped the video before he answered the door.
 "Er, may I..."
-  He blurted out, attempting to regain his composure.
-  He had many questions, but first he resolved himself to, at the very least, ask her name.
-  With that, she turned to him with a cold look on her face.
-  She glared at Soujyuro over her glasses, her long and slender brows pointing at him, all as if to hint at a threat.
-"..."
-  A gaze that made him feel like he had chosen his words very poorly.
-  Soujyuro apologetically clammed up.
-  The young woman moved in.
+  He blurted half a question, attempting to regain his composure.
+  There were many questions to be answered, but he first resolved to ask her name, at least.
+  The woman turned a coldly observant gaze on him.
+  Her intimidating eyes and long, thin eyebrows bored into Soujyuro through her spectacles.
+"..."
+  Soujyuro had intended no offense, but now he felt like he had chosen his words very poorly.
+  He apologetically clammed up.
+  Then...
 "Come now, Soujyuro. 'May I'? Really?
   Do I look like some old lady to you?"
   She snickered.
   Her disapproving glare melted into a teasing smile.
-  Of course not. It would be more accurate to say she had the air of an older sister.
-  Or at least that is how Soujyuro attempted to reply using only gestures, to which she grinned, smugly.
-"Very well then. Let's do away with the formalities, shall we? They're beginning to bore me anyway."
-  She said, taking a seat on the sofa,
-  naturally and effortlessly, and without making a sound.
+  Of course, that wasn't true at all.  It would be more accurate to say she had the air of an older sister.
+  Or at least, that was what Soujyuro attempted to express with body language, to which she grinned smugly.
+"Very well. Let's do away with the formalities, shall we? They're beginning to bore me, anyway."
+  Without making a sound, she took an effortless seat on the sofa,
+  as naturally as if she belonged there.
   Her posture and movements exuded sophistication,
 and she required no words to instruct him to hurry along and make the tea.
   Without pressing her further, Soujyuro headed to the kitchen.
-He figured she would not talk until she had had some tea.
+It seemed that the conversation would not proceed until tea had been served.
   He chose the Fauchon he was forced to replace once before, after using it without permission.
-  Since she was here to see Aoko, he would serve her the tea in Aoko's Sèvres tea cup.
-  Into the cup as blue as the ocean depths he carefully poured the tea before returning to the drawing room.
-  Gently, he placed the teacup on the table and looked at the woman.
-"Um. Forgive me for not asking earlier, but you're an acquaintance of Aozaki's... yes?"
+  Since she was here to see Aoko, he decided to serve her using Aoko's Sèvres tea cup.
+  Into the cup as blue as the ocean depths, he carefully poured the tea before returning to the drawing room.
+  Gently, he placed the teacup on the table, and faced the woman.
+"Um. Forgive me for not asking earlier, but should I take it that you're an acquaintance of Aozaki's...or whatever?"
   Despite being told otherwise, Soujyuro could not help but stand on ceremony.
-  He would actively have to try not to.
-  Displeased or disappointed, she glared at him once again.
-"That. It's better you don't use 'Aozaki.' It's beginning to grate on me. Just call her 'Aoko.'"
-  She said not at all upset, as she slowly raised the cup to her lips to take a sip.
-  It was the kind of moment Aoko and Alice might react to by berating the boy, but the woman chose to brush off with a smile.
-  Though he did not realize it in that moment, he would soon enough understand that some people did appreciate his efforts, regardless of whether they were misguided.
+  His clumsy effort to make the question sound casual only jumbled it further.
+  The visitor's eyes narrowed again in displeasure.
+"That's what I mean. Would you stop calling her 'Aozaki'? It's beginning to grate on me. Just use 'Aoko.'"
+  The woman kept the rest of her expression indifferent as she slowly raised the cup to take a sip.
+  Smiling, she tolerated the tea that Aoko and Alice regularly criticized as bitter and clumsily brewed.
+  Soujyuro had yet to learn that society thoughtfully awarded participation trophies to people merely for trying, regardless of the outcome.
 "Come. Don't stand there. Sit.
   I don't like being looked down on."
 "...?"
-  Soujyuro tilted his head, noticing a slight familiarity to the manner of her speaking.
-Almost as if he had been talking so someone he has seen before.
-"...Wait a minute..."
-  Looking at her sitting on the sofa, forgotten memories began to rise to the surface.
-  Noticing his reaction, she became visibly delighted.
+  Soujyuro tilted his head, noting a slight familiarity to her manner of speech.
+It was almost...as if they'd met somewhere before.
+"Wait..."
+  The sight of her sitting on the sofa began to stir forgotten memories.
+  Noticing his reaction, the woman became visibly delighted.
 "You remember me. I can tell you I was as surprised as you are.
 I came all the way here to see Aoko, and instead I find you standing there to greet me."
-"...Oh."
-  Now that she was laughing, Soujyuro remembered everything.
-  He had only seen her for an instant, but there was no mistake it was her.
-  It had to be her-the woman smoking the long cigarette winning at the pachinko parlor!
-"Crazy, right? You gave me quite the fright that day.
+"...Oh!"
+  Now that she was chuckling, Soujyuro remembered everything.
+  He had only glimpsed her for a moment, but there was no mistaking it.
+  It had to be her―the woman smoking the long cigarette who had cleaned out the pachinko parlor!
+"You gave me quite the fright that day, Soujyuro.
   You took one look at me and ran away.
   How terrifying you must think I am, reacting like that. You hurt my feelings, you know."
-  She clearly enjoyed the memory.
-  She was right. He mistook the shadow he had seen in the park for this woman and ran, though he had learned it was Aoko a day later.
-  Even though it was clearly a case of mistaken identity, he now knew why he had thought them one and the same.
-(So that's why... They have the same air.)
-  Finally, he had realized the true identity of the woman before him. He chided himself for not realizing it sooner.
-"You must be-"
+  In spite of her words, she clearly enjoyed the memory.
+  She was right. He'd mistaken her for the murderous shadow (Aoko) in the park from the previous night, and fled in mortal terror.
+  Even though it was clearly a case of mistaken identity, he could now see why he had mixed them up.
+(...So that's why. They feel similar.)
+  Finally, Soujyuro realized who the visitor was. He chided himself for not realizing it sooner.
+"You must be―"
   Just as he was about to say it, she held up her hand to interrupt him.
-  She pointed at him, like she was aiming a gun.
-"Forgive me. You're just too cute, I got carried away with teasing you.
+  She pointed at him like she was aiming a gun.
+"Forgive me. Your reaction was just so cute, I got carried away teasing you.
   It's a little late, but my name is Touko Aozaki.
-  Surprise surprise, I'm Aoko's big sister."
-  That figures. He should have known.
-  With a smile that could impart courage to any that glanced upon it, Touko looked just like how Soujyuro imagined Aoko would in the not-too-distant future.
-  ...It all made sense.
-  While Aoko was earnest and diligent, Touko was shrewd and playful.
+  Surprise―I'm Aoko's big sister."
+  That figured. No wonder he'd been charmed at first sight.
+  It wasn't hard to envision Touko as a not-too-distant future version of Aoko, with her smile that imparted courage to any who glimpsed it.
+  Only...
+  While Aoko was earnest and diligent, Touko seemed to be shrewd and playful.
 "I heard my sister was in trouble.
   So I came all the way over here to set her straight."
   Aoko's sister chuckled coyly while sipping her tea.
-  Lured by her charm, Soujyuro sat on the sofa as well. He felt like he could relax a little now that the initial shock of receiving an unexpected guest had subsided.
+  Lured by her charm, Soujyuro sat on the sofa as well. He felt like he could relax a little, now that the initial shock of an unexpected guest had subsided.
   Just like that, it was almost five in the afternoon.
   Aoko and Alice would be returning from their excursion soon.
   This was Misaki City's only subway line.
@@ -13688,176 +13688,176 @@
 "I'm not done yet. Just one more, okay?"
   Aoko begged Alice, hands together, trembling from the cold.
   It was rare to see her act this childish.
-  There's no doubt Tobimaru would consider this behavior more strange than cute if he were there.
+  No doubt Tobimaru would consider this behavior more strange than cute if he were here.
   From the end of the platform, Aoko peered into the creeping darkness to where the tracks led.
 "You have the strangest taste."
   Alice muttered, sitting on the bench with forbearance.
   Any other day and she would have been fine heading back by herself, but today she was in a good mood and decided to humor Aoko.
-  If possible, she would have liked to return still in good spirits, as such spells of positivity, for her at least, tended to dissipate sooner rather than later.
-  Eyes calmly closed, her placid demeanor conveyed her feelings well enough.
+  Knowing full well that her rare spells of positivity were about as fragile as freshly fallen snow, she hoped to go home while she was still in high spirits.
+  Eyes closed, her placid demeanor conveyed her feelings well enough.
   Thus, the two of them waited on the platform alone for a subway train they had no intention of riding.
-  The recently opened subway.
-  High prices and low familiarity made for relatively few passengers coming from Misaki City.
+  The subway had recently opened for service.
+  The people of Misaki were humble folk, and for now, few passengers were drawn to the novelty and high prices of the new train.
   Thanks to the low foot traffic, the platform was still as good as new.
   There was something primeval about a subway devoid of people.
-  It was a picture of tranquility, free of human interference.
-  Lifeless and silent.
-  A land unmolested by living creatures, where only speechless organisms dwelt.
-  The artificial fluorescent lighting highlighted its soullessness.
-  It was a cave where the light ended and the shadows began,
-  riderless vessels disappearing into the dark.
-  The platform wedged between two tracks, like a jetty stretching out into an subterranean sea of black...
+  It was a picture of tranquility, free of human interference―
+  not just silent, but lifeless.
+  This was a realm unmolested by living creatures, where only speechless organisms dwelt.
+  The harshly artificial fluorescent lighting underscored its soullessness.
+  It was a cave where light ended and shadows began,
+  where riderless vessels disappeared into the dark.
+  The platform was wedged between two tracks, like a jetty built upon a subterranean sea.
   In this place, far removed from the world above, Aoko waited with eyes closed for the familiar rumble.
-  It was Aoko who proposed that they delay their return and wait on the platform.
-  The reason was simple.
+  It was she who had proposed that they delay their return and rest at the platform.
+  The reason was simple:
   Aoko Aozaki enjoyed the soothing sound of passing subway trains.
-"I won't be able to go see any more live bands this year, so at least let me have this."
-  She said to Alice, her eyes still closed.
-  Alice did not even nod as three trains had already passed following her decision to stay with Aoko.
-  Silence again.
+"I probably won't get to see any more live bands this year, so at least let me have this,"
+  she had said to Alice, her eyes still closed.
+  Alice had neither nodded nor objected, and so they'd watched three trains come and go.
+  Silence fell again.
   Aoko waited for the next train with anticipation.
-  Alice sat and stared at the wall of the subway patiently.
+  Alice sat and stared at the tunnel wall patiently.
   According to the display board, the next train was due to arrive in five minutes.
   From the dark tunnel came wind and rumbling.
 "..."
   A purposefully placed Bounded Field now surrounded the platform.
   There was no sign of any station personnel, and entrances and exits were few and narrow.
-  With the lack of bystanders, the field was hardly necessary.
-  Suddenly, six figures appeared in front of the stairs leading to the surface.
-  All sharing the same face.
+  The lack of bystanders made the field hardly necessary.
+  Suddenly, six figures appeared in front of the stairs to the surface.
+  ...They all shared the same face.
   Motionless and with smiles like the crescent moon, they stared at Aoko and Alice.
-"Never a dull moment."
-  Alice let out a quiet sigh.
+"...I can't believe I missed that."
+  Alice let out a quiet, dejected sigh.
 "Alice? What's wrong?"
-"Nothing at all. Did you notice you and I were the only ones to get off at this station?"
-"Sure. I mean, this subway is usually pretty dead anyway."
-  Aoko cut herself off by tutting in annoyance.
-"What tipped you off?"
+"...Must you ask? Didn't you notice that you and I were the only ones to get off at this station?"
+"I mean, this subway is usually pretty dead anyway, so..."
+  Aoko trailed off, tutting in annoyance.
+"So, what tipped you off?"
 "The impending gloom I felt a moment ago.
-  This wouldn't have happened if we weren't together. Not that I'm blaming you..."
-"Like I'm gonna let you have all the fun. Please."
-  Never moving or making eye contact, their words stoic and calm.
+  I'm not entirely blaming you. This wouldn't have happened if we were a better team."
+"Enough sniveling."
+  They traded stoic and calm words, never moving or making eye contact.
   In contrast, the figures near the stairs began to stir.
-  They advanced in unison on all fours, as though regressed to a quadrupedal state.
-  Like human-sized ants.
-  One after another, they swarmed forth.
-  The din of clattering came not just from the platform entrances, but from the subway tunnel as well.
+  As though regressing from primates to wild beasts, they dropped prone in unison...
+  ...and scrambled forth, like man-sized ants.
+  They advanced as a stream, one after another.
+  Soon, the clattering came not just from the platform entrances, but from the subway tunnel as well.
   At a glance, they numbered at least thirty strong.
-  The creepy sound of skittering echoed off the subway walls.
-"This is ridiculous. Forget Misaki, with this many automata you could take over the whole of southern France."
-"...True. But more importantly, who would want or need this many?"
-"Whatever. Junk is junk, right?"
+  The eerie skittering multiplied, echoing off the subway walls.
+"This is ridiculous. Forget Misaki; with this many automata, you could take over all of southern France."
+"...True, but I doubt there would be much demand for dolls of such poor quality."
+"Junk is junk, after all."
   One of the horde leapt forward in response to Aoko's insult.
   It was a sudden charge, like a hurtling dump truck.
   Alice remained still.
   As though expecting the attack, Aoko swung her right arm in an arc.
   The blue missile of light was easily repelled.
-  Her magic bullet, Snap, had little to no effect against the puppets.
+  Her magic bullet, Snap, had little to no effect on the puppets.
   They scrambled over each other like frogs, heads jerking and twisting in search of prey.
-"I count thirty total. Sorry Alice, but I'm gonna need you to hang back. I can't have you thinking last time was my best."
-  As she spoke to Alice, who was still standing next to the bench, Aoko stepped toward the edge of the platform.
-  From the myriad of regrets she still had from the amusement park, the house of mirrors stung the most.
-  She was caught off guard in the previous engagement with those puppets.
-  With adequate preparation and confidence, and Alice as backup, she would not let that happen again.
-  Igniting her Magic Crest, she would have revenge and be vindicated from-
-"Get behind me Aoko. You'll be toast if you stand there."
-  It took Alice raising one finger to the sky for Aoko to stop.
-"Alice, wait, you can't..."
+"I count...thirty total. Sorry Alice, but I'm gonna need you to hang back. I can't have you thinking last time was my best."
+  As she spoke to Alice, who was still sitting on a bench, Aoko stepped toward the edge of the platform.
+  Among the myriad regrets she still had from the amusement park, the house of mirrors stung the most.
+  She had been caught off guard in her last battle against that puppet.
+  But today, she'd come prepared, and she had Alice as backup.
+  Aoko ignited her Magic Crest. This time, she would restore her honor, and―
+"Get behind me, Aoko. It'll eat you too if you stand there."
+  All it took to stop Aoko was one raised finger.
+"Alice, wait, you can't―"
   In the depths of the ocean black, the bells of night chimed out.
   The jetty, as if embraced by a sea god like Poseidon or Wadatsumi,
-  was awash with white...
-  White particles...
+  became awash with white...
+  White motes, which seemed to engulf everything.
 "You always leave a mess, Aoko.
   Not to mention the next train will be arriving soon, and..."
-  From beyond the white veil, her form blurred and stretched upward on tip toes.
-  Like a melancholy ballerina.
+  Behind the white veil, her form blurred and stretched upward.
+  She was like a melancholy ballerina.
   The figures surrounding the prima ballerina bristled in response to the strange aura.
   Though puppets were inhuman Mystical vessels,
-  they had fare more reason to fear Alice than they did the human Aoko.
+  they had far more reason to fear Alice than they did the human Aoko.
   They began to flee.
   Whoever their master was, they sensed enough danger to order a retreat.
   However...
- It was too late. The lead dancer in this ballet had them captivated, unable to move.
- As if their Achilles tendons had been severed.
-"...And...
+it was too late. The dancers were captivated by their prima, transfixed in place,
+ as if their Achilles tendons had been severed.
+"Besides...
   It wasn't just you who ruined my mood."
   She removed her black glove.
-  Unlike her mansion demeanor her cool aura morphed into a fierce, biting cold one, freezing all in their tracks.
-  Gloves floated to the ground.
-  The white haze grew ever thicker.
-  The mass of shadows cried out for mercy.
-        "Let's play a little then...shall we?"
-  Within the dense, nebulous mists, a dark fairy tale manifested.
-  From inside,
-  the only thing seemingly real was the sound of her voice, a macabre melody.
-  Feasting / Grinding / Crunching.
+  Unlike her subdued demeanor at the mansion, Alice's aura away from home was a biting, frigid blizzard that none could approach.
+  Her discarded gloves floated down, settling on the platform deck.
+  The pale haze grew even thicker.
+  Terrified, the mass of shadows cried out for mercy.
+        "Now...let us play make-believe."
+  Within the nebulous mist, a dark fairy tale came to life.
+  Inside that fog,
+  only the macabre melody of her voice felt real.
+  Feast / Grind / Crunch.
   At last, the final puppet fell.
   On the walls / On the floor / On the ceiling / 
-  The tragic sounds of their demise filled the air.
-  Their twisted shrieks plastering the subway surfaces like indelible blood-like stains
-  All thirty of the puppets, promptly yet slowly as though to savor their taste, were completely devoured by the mystifying monster.
-  All save one appendage-a lonesome severed arm on the platform.
-"You were carrying that thing around this whole time?"
+  the grotesque, mechanical sounds of their demise filled the air.
+  Their twisted shrieks plastered the subway surfaces, like indelible bloodstains.
+  Some amorphous abomination had―hastily, yet just slowly enough to savor the taste―chewed and devoured all thirty puppets.
+  Only a lone, severed arm remained on the platform.
+"You had that thing on you this whole time?"
   Aoko spoke sideways to Alice, making no attempt to hide her disgust.
-  A beast of the fog.
-  One of her Great Three Ploys Kickshaw, the Meinster's Rose Hound: Wandersnatch.
-  It was a name carrying immense violence and devastation.
+  The brutal gluttony they'd just witnessed had a name.
+  It was the beast of the fog, one of her Three Great Ploys Kickshaw,
+  the Meinster's Rose Hound: Wandersnatch.
   Aoko's words stung, since Alice was the one harboring its true form.
   The Great Three Ploys wielded terrifyingly powerful curses.
-  It was one thing to carry it around for self-defense, but keeping it a secret from her companion did not amuse Aoko in the slightest.
-  It was like going out to eat with a grenade in your pocket.
+  While Wandersnatch had its uses in combat, Aoko was not at all amused to learn that her companion had been carrying it around town all day.
+  Without hyperbole, it was akin to going out for dinner with a bunker buster bomb in one's pocket.
 "Just... tell me next time, okay?
-  Other Ploys are fine, but that guy... Leave him at home, will you?"
+  Other Ploys are fine, but not that one. Try to leave it at home, would you?"
 "...
-I apologize. It's just, I haven't let him feed lately, so..."
-  Alice walked slowly along toward the puppet arm rolling along the platform.
-  What had just occurred made perfect sense. It needed to eat, so she let it eat.
-  But the beast could not be seen, and there was no bloodshed on account of the victims being made of plastic.
-"Say, Aoko..."
-  Alice said, picking up the puppet arm.
+I apologize. It's just that I haven't let him feed lately, so..."
+  Alice walked slowly toward the severed arm.
+  Indeed, all she'd done was feed her Ploy.
+  No one had died, and no blood had been shed, since the meal was made of plastic.
+"Aoko, over here."
+  Alice picked up the arm and beckoned Aoko over.
 "Look at this. Until now, we were thinking our opponent was a puppet master. But... I think we were wrong.
-  Did you notice? Those puppets were too new.
-  These had to have been made after the seventeenth century, which doesn't make sense..."
+  Can you see it? These puppets are too new.
+  They must have been made no earlier than the seventeenth century. Even that seems hard to believe."
 "What did you just say?"
-  Though sounded contradictory, automata typically performed better with age.
-  After the seventeenth century, as the magical concept' of using puppets and mannequins declined, automata suitable for combat became harder to produce.
-  In recent years of automata manufacturing, even low-rank familiars to be used in training could be produced inexpensively and with relatively decent quality.
+  Although it sounded counterintuitive, automata typically performed better with age.
+  Since the seventeenth century, the magical concept of using puppets and mannequins had declined. Consequently, it became much harder to produce combat-effective automata.
+  If one wanted to build an automaton these days, it was far more cost-effective to train even a low-class familiar, and it would be better constructed, too.
   Therefore, it was common for modern puppet masters to collect parts made before the seventeenth century and use them in their creations.
-  The high price of automata often came not from their combat abilities, but the rarity of the parts used to make them.
-  However...
-The enemy mage controlling these puppets used them as fodder, as if they grew on trees.
-  The only conclusion that could be made, therefore, was that their current opponent was a spoiled rotten upstart mage with no territory of their own to control.
+  The high price of automata often came not from their antiquated combat abilities, but from the rarity of the parts used to make them.
+  Despite that,
+ the enemy mage controlling these puppets used them as fodder, as if they grew on trees.
+  The only conclusion to be drawn was that their current opponent was a spoiled upstart with wealth, but no territory.
   Or so Alice and Aoko imagined, anyway.
-"And another thing...
-  The internal design of this one is reminiscent of the ones from Misaki City's Bounded Field.
-  Almost as if they were soldiers defending a city."
-  Alice presented the evidence to Aoko, who was waving away the fog from around her.
-  She felt profound surprise, and then rapid realization.
+"There's something else.
+  The internal formulae remind me of Misaki's Bounded Field.
+  It's as if their maker is asserting that these are the rightful defenders of our city."
+  Alice presented the evidence to Aoko, who was still waving fog out of her face.
+  The revelations stirred profound surprise, and then rapid realization.
 "I see...
- So that's how it is."
-  Aoko muttered to herself, violently hurling the arm against the platform.
+now I get it,"
+  Aoko growled, violently smashing the arm on the ground.
   Her face twisted with anger and a hint of fear.
-"If you're going to send this many of these things at us, you might as well send the whole lot of them then!"
-  "...Tch. That's why Grandfather's Bounded Field didn't have any effect on her, and that's how she knew my weaknesses. And that's how she found and removed the sigil so easily.
+"She didn't bother holding back any of her knickknacks because they weren't worth keeping in reserve, to begin with.
+  ...Tch. That's why the town's barrier didn't have any effect on her, and how she knew my weaknesses. No wonder she found and removed the sigils so easily.
   I should've known."
-  Alice quietly looked on in bemusement at Aoko's furious rambling.
+  Alice quietly listened to Aoko's furious rambling, bemused.
 "Aoko. So you're saying the one who made these is none other than..."
 "That's right. When it came to making things, she always had me beat."
   Aoko glared at the severed arm.
-  Furious at its creator, and herself for taking so long to figure out it was her.
+  She was furious at its creator, and herself for taking so long to figure it out.
 "But it all adds up, now.
   As much as I hate to admit it, our current enemy is my big sister, no doubt about it.
   She's the one who was meant to inherit our land, Alice."
   The desolate subway platform returned to silence,
   Aoko's words lingering uncomfortably in the air.
   A short time ago, at the Kuonji Estate...
-  The video tape finished playing.
+  The videotape finished playing.
   The VCR had automatically stopped playback, forgoing the need to hit the stop button to avoid the static storm.
   What remained on-screen was the reflection of Soujyuro and Touko Aozaki, sitting opposite each other in conversation.
 "A direct attack without warning because her secret was exposed... Aoko never did play well with others."
   It was hard to tell if she was being patronizing or indifferent.
   Touko Aozaki took a sip from her cup as she listened to Soujyuro's story.
-  She would have savored the anecdote about the amusement park kerfuffle, if it were not for the poor excuse for a cup of tea in her hands.
+  She would have savored the anecdote about the amusement park kerfuffle, were it not for the poor excuse for a cup of tea in her hands.
 "Thank you for that. I feel so informed.
   I haven't seen Aoko in ages, so I can only imagine the kind of woman she's grown into."
 "And, as her sister, the least I can do is apologize.
@@ -13867,63 +13867,63 @@
   Soujyuro was enjoying the conversation, despite having to relive those events.
   About an hour passed by while the two of them sat in conversation, neither short on topics to discuss.
   Aoko was an easy topic for both of them, so the conversation centered mostly around her.
-"By the way, I've been wondering.
+"By the way, I've been curious about something.
   And I hope you don't mind me asking..."
-  With courteous posture, her eyes shined with curiosity.
-  Her elegant demure caused Soujyuro's heart to beat faster.
-"O-Of course I don't mind."
-  Despite his caution, he could not help but show deference to her.
-  Whether Touko found Soujyuro charming or not was unclear as she affectionately smiled at him.
+  While she kept her posture dignified, Touko's eyes shone with eager curiosity.
+  Her elegance caused Soujyuro's heart to beat a little faster.
+"Curious? About what?"
+  Despite his caution, he found himself speaking politely.
+  She smiled affectionately, as if she found him pleasing.
 "Well, you see, you surprised me the last time when you ran away, but today I'm surprised by something new.
   Is that some kind of in-vogue fashion accessory?"
 "Come again?"
-  Touko tilted her head, her eyes fixated on the collar that Aoko had given him snugly wrapped around his neck.
-"Is that a new style choker? You know, I could swear it was a..."
-  The bespectacled woman did her best to hold her tongue.
+  Touko tilted her head, her eyes fixated on the collar that Aoko had snugly secured around his neck.
+"Is that a new style of choker? You know, I could swear it was a..."
+  The bespectacled woman made a show of holding her tongue.
   On a completely unrelated note, in another decade, similar accessories would become a standard part of any visual kei artist's wardrobe.
 "Oh, not at all. It's obviously a collar. For dogs."
-"I knew it! It's rather cute, and may I add very much suits you. Did you put it on?"
+"I knew it! It's rather charming, and very much suits you, I might add. Did you put it on yourself?"
   Touko stared intently, examining the strap.
   While he had never been very conscious of the collar till now, for some reason, Soujyuro found himself blushing.
 "Yes. I put it on... by myself."
 "No, silly. I mean, who gave it to you? Was it Aoko? Or perhaps Miss Kuonji?"
 "Aoko gave it to me."
-  Touko simply nodded in satisfaction at Soujyuro's candid response.
+  Touko nodded in satisfaction at Soujyuro's candid response.
 "...That makes you Aoko's property."
   She coldly muttered. With this, the cordial atmosphere began to turn.
-  Soujyuro nodded, naturally oblivious to the sting in her words.
+  Soujyuro nodded, naturally oblivious to the edge in her words.
 "She does like to own things."
-  He said casually, causing Touko to burst out in laughter.
-  Touko was the quirky type of person to laugh when least appropriate.
+  The blunt observation made Touko burst out laughing.
+  Apparently, Touko was the quirky type of person to laugh when least appropriate.
   As her laugh tapered off into a giggle, she picked up her now empty teacup.
-"So, this must belong to Aoko as well? How funny considering she hates blue things on account of the 'blue' character in her name."
+"So, this must belong to Aoko as well? How funny, considering she hates blue things on account of the 'blue' character in her name."
 "Yeah, that's right. ...Would you like another cup?
   I'm not sure when they'll be back."
-"No thank you. Actually, they'll be returning shortly, as I calculated."
-  Soujyuro casually nodded, still clueless to the premeditation of her visit.
-  But then the strangeness of her phrasing dawned on him, and he tilted his head in confusion.
+"No, thank you. Actually, they'll be returning shortly, as I calculated."
+  Soujyuro nodded along heedlessly.
+  Finally, the strangeness of her phrasing dawned on him, and he tilted his head in confusion.
 "Miss Touko?"
-  Touko sighed once in response.
+  Touko sighed once.
 "Forgive me, Soujyuro, but would you allow me to take off my glasses?"
-  He wondered why she would need to ask his approval, but nodded anyway to confirm his consent.
+  He wondered why she would need to ask his permission, but nodded anyway.
 "That's very kind of you.
   Though, I do wish I could have enjoyed more of your hospitality."
   Touko touched the temples of her glasses.
-  If you were to look close enough, you might have noticed how her slender fingers were scarred.
-  Small, fine scars, from years of repeated cuts.
-  Instantly, her glasses fell away from her face, resigned to their fateful fall.
-  It happened so fast Soujyuro barely understood what he saw.
-  The frame cracked into pieces as it slid down her face and onto her lap.
+  If one were to look closely enough, one might have noticed the scars on her slender fingers.
+  They were small, fine scars, from years of repeated cuts.
+  Before her fingers even left the eyeglass frames, the spectacles crumbled.
+  It happened so fast that Soujyuro barely registered it.
+  The frame cracked into pieces, sliding down her face and into her lap.
 "...Kudos to you, sister. Thirty in one go. Not bad."
-  Touko could sit behind her veneer no longer.
-  By removing her glasses the elegant lady of moments ago was gone.
+  The low voice belonged to someone entirely different.
+  All she had done was take off her glasses, but her elegant grace had completely faded.
   Any semblance of warmth and kindness had disappeared.
-  What sat on the sofa was one deplorable mage, her demeanor darkening the room.
+  Sitting upon on the sofa was a deplorable mage, her very presence darkening the room.
 "..."
-  Soujyuro sat speechless on the sofa.
-  Across from him was a completely changed Touko glaring back at him menacingly.
-  More malice and magical energy was now emanating from Touko than when Aoko tried to kill Soujyuro.
-  She sat titillated at the prospect of the young boy's shock and fear at her transformation.
+  Soujyuro sat speechless.
+  Across from him was a completely changed Touko, glaring back at him menacingly.
+  More malice and magical energy was now emanating from Touko than when Aoko had tried to kill Soujyuro.
+  She seemed titillated at the prospect of the boy's shock at her transformation.
   Such expectations, however, were often left unfulfilled when it came to Soujyuro.
 "You broke your glasses."
   Soujyuro blurted out in surprise.
@@ -13935,94 +13935,94 @@
   Her speech had taken on a clinical tone.
   This, too, did not seem to shake Soujyuro.
 "Right... So what you're saying is..."
-  Soujyuro began, unflinchingly.
-  Touko scowled back at him.
-  After some consideration, she came to the conclusion she needed to be blunt with the boy- 
-  by some twist of fate, it was a headache she now unknowingly shared with her sister.
-"It's like this, Soujyuro. I placed some obstacles in Aoko's way to give us some time together.
-  You are merely Aoko's property, correct?
-Then I won't worry that pretty little head of yours.
-But I must confess, dear Soujyuro. I am your enemy."
+  Soujyuro began forming another question, unflinchingly.
+  Touko scowled, as if she'd found a bug in her food.
+  After some consideration, she came to the conclusion she needed to be blunt with the boy.
+  By some twist of fate, it was a headache she now unknowingly shared with her sister.
+"It's like this, Soujyuro. I placed some obstacles in Aoko's way. I'm only here now because she's still dealing with them.
+  As I mentioned, you are are merely her property.
+So, I won't worry that pretty little head of yours.
+I must confess, dear Soujyuro―I am your enemy."
   Though he understood her words, the clock's second hand would rotate fully twice over before anyone next spoke.
   They sat across from each other, eyes locked.
   Soujyuro's shoulders tightened nervously.
   He had finally understood the true danger of the situation.
 "Surprised?"
   Touko asked with a grin.
-  Despite the spitting image of each other, without her glasses, Touko's smile was rather sinister.
+  She was still the same woman, but without her glasses, Touko's smile was rather sinister.
 "Even though... you're Aozaki's sister?"
   Her smile pierced him as he asked the obvious.
-  Touko was no longer surprised that Soujyuro would be more concerned about the safety of others over his own.
+  Touko was no longer surprised that Soujyuro would be more concerned about the safety of others than his own.
   In just one short hour, she had come to understand Soujyuro Sizuki better than he knew himself.
 "On the contrary. It's *because* I'm her sister. I'm obligated to take away what is hers.
 I won't stop until I crush every last thing she holds physically and emotionally dear.
   For instance, if she has come to rely on this city, then I will happily go so far as to destroy it.
   But you... I wasn't expecting you."
   Touko, her eyes closed, felt sorrow.
-  Behind her troubled expression there was a silent conflict.
-"I don't know if I should be angry at the world for being impartial, or lament the serendipity of life. I suppose it's all part of the Counter Force.
+  Behind her troubled expression, there was a silent conflict.
+"I don't know if I should rage at the impartiality of the world, or lament the serendipity of life. I suppose it's all part of the Counter Force.
   Innocent outsiders get killed all the time in this world of ours, but I've never met anyone quite like you.
   Or rather, never imagined a guy like you could exist."
   Touko sighed at the ceiling, and stirred in her seat.
   She seemed to have overcome an unexpected moment of uncertainty.
 "You don't look like Aoko's ace in the hole.
-  The dim-but-nice stranger, too pitiful to put out of his misery.
-  But as much as I want to leave you be, my sixth sense is screaming at me that I should erase you now and be done with it."
+  You're just a dim-but-nice stranger, too pitiful to put out of his misery.
+  But as much as I want to leave you be, my sixth sense is screaming that I should erase you now and be done with it."
   More plainly put, she had made up her mind to kill him.
-  Though Soujyuro was somewhat flattered at how she was grossly inflating his importance in all this, what dawned on him was the fact that, through karmic irony, Touko had inevitably arrived at the same conclusion as her sister.
+  Though Soujyuro was somewhat flattered at how grossly she inflated his importance, he was struck more by the karmic irony―Touko had arrived at the same conclusion as her sister.
 "..."
   However, this was no time for idle thoughts.
-  Soujyuro readied himself to stand up from the sofa in such a way as to not draw attention to the plan so clearly written all over his face―make a run for it.
+  Soujyuro readied himself to stand up from the sofa in such a way as to not draw attention to the plan so clearly written all over his face―to make a run for it.
 "Silly boy. Don't give yourself away like that. If you're going to run, then run. But if you value your life, then don't move a muscle.
   In other words, you won't make it halfway to the door before I get you. Now, be a good boy and sit still."
 "So you're... not going to kill me?"
-"For the time being. I like you, Soujyuro.
+"For the time being. I like you, kid.
   Well, not exactly. The truth is, I might be the only one who can save you."
 "...What?"
   She looked the perplexed Soujyuro straight in the eyes.
   Though actually brown, her eyes gleamed a piercing red, like the edge of blade.
   It was at this moment an overwhelming sense of dizziness overcame Soujyuro.
   His mind went numb, like he couldn't tell who he was.
-  As if he was drifting into a sinister sleep from which he'd never wake.
+  It was like drifting into a sinister sleep from which he'd never wake.
 "..."
   Soujyuro clenched his jaw, desperate to maintain consciousness.
   Touko's eyes devoured him like a bottomless pit of quicksand.
-  And in that moment it all became clear to him.
+  In that moment, it all became clear to him.
   It no longer mattered that she was Aoko's sister,
   or that she was Alice's sworn enemy.
   Touko Aozaki's deadly battle with the girls, had become his battle.
   Which is why...
   When you find yourself feeling a special spark for a stranger met mere moments ago, that feeling is not to be trusted.
-  For you may simply be attempting to fill an emptiness with the same mold as yours, with more emptiness.
+  You may simply be attempting to fill a void shaped like yourself, with more emptiness.
   Soujyuro tried to drag his body away from this heretofore unencountered sense of danger, but found that it would not respond.
   Touko tilted her head forward at him, eyes fixated on his.
 "Your instincts weren't wrong; you do have something in common with me. Or maybe you're just close to me. Maybe we're picky about all the same foods. It's something to consider.
   The problem is, you're more... biased than I am."
   Biased.
   She clearly used a different definition of the word than the one Soujyuro knew.
-  Biased.
-It meant that he was alone.
-That he was an outsider, who didn't belong in this town.
+  "Biased."
+ It meant that he was alone―
+that he was an outsider who didn't belong in this town.
   A sudden and seething anger eclipsed his gentle heart.
 "But... I'm not alone."
   Soujyuro shot back with all the enmity he could muster,
   as he faced this witch named Touko Aozaki.
   If he had not, he feared he would never escape her gaze.
-"See. That's precisely what makes you biased. And the sooner you realize that, the better.
+"See. That's precisely what makes you biased. And the sooner you realize that, the better. It's the fastest way out of your predicament.
 Humans are hardy creatures. No matter what life throws at them, they find a way to survive.
   But... Aoko can't tolerate them, because she's the sort of stranger who can't stand anything."
   Touko leaned over the table.
   She reached out,  grabbed Soujyuro's collar, and roughly pulled him toward her.
-"But enough about her. All I care about is getting to have you. In fact, I wanted you from the moment you whispered your name."
-"You with your lack of self-awareness, and your sense of powerlessness.
+"But enough about her. All I care about is getting to have you. In fact, I wanted you from the moment you mumbled your name like it's not even yours."
+"I want you with your lack of self-awareness, and your sense of powerlessness.
   The future must seem like such a foreign concept to someone like you. Your mind inevitably looks to the past.
-  But just as moi-the lesser self-comes before soi-the greater self-the normal flow of time will always reject time travel.
+  But just as moi―the lesser self―comes before soi― the greater self―the normal flow of time will always reject time travel.
   It's the same for me as it is for you.
   Argh, I've done it again, haven't I? How could you possibly even begin to..."
   Touko trailed off mid-sentence.
   As she pulled Soujyuro closer, her own eyes reflected in his, she noticed the merciful expression on her face.
   Soujyuro got to thinking.
-  He had no hostility toward this woman.
+  He held no hostility toward this woman.
   He bore her no grudge, harbored no desire to kill her.
   He was aware only of his anger and aimless compassion.
   He wished that he could give her the answers she wanted.
@@ -14033,7 +14033,7 @@
   Touko showed no sign of disappointment.
   Instead, the corners of her lips turned upward in delight.
 "Of course, you wouldn't comprehend the language of magecraft.
-  And here I am trying to wax philosophical to you, how foolish of me. Small courtesies can have the opposite effect, after all. I should have put it in plainer, more primitive terms.
+  And here I am trying to wax philosophical to you. How foolish of me. Small courtesies can have the opposite effect, after all. I should have put it in plainer, more primitive terms.
   Oh, I *do* like you, Soujyuro."
   Her fingers dug into his throat as if she were tearing at the leather.
   Perhaps he could be hers if only she could rip it off.
@@ -14041,7 +14041,7 @@
   I may not have a use for you, but at least I can protect you. Or maybe if I'm bored, you could be my plaything."
   It had taken many approaches, but she seemed to have decided on this one.
   The lengths to which she went to seduce him were not lost on Soujyuro, and truth be told, they were not wholly unwelcome.
-  But back to the matter at hand-
+  But back to the matter at hand...
 "I respectfully decline."
   Soujyuro chose the direct response, as he did.
 "...Why?"
@@ -14057,9 +14057,9 @@
   The Scarred Red mage quietly stood up.
 "Well, Aoko will be here any moment. I'd best be on my way.
 She has no chance of defeating me. Tell her that for me, won't you?"
-"Sure but..."
-  Soujyuro's reply from the sofa stopped the exiting Touko in her tracks.
-  Then, like a student humbly inquiring of a teacher, Soujyuro pointed to the object in Touko's hand and asked,
+"Sure, but..."
+  Before she left the room, Touko paused to let Soujyuro continue.
+  Like a student humbly inquiring of a teacher, Soujyuro pointed to the object in Touko's hand and asked,
 "...Um. What are you going to do with that cup?"
   Surprised, she looked down at the teacup in her right hand that she had forgotten she was holding.
   She hadn't even realized that she had been holding the cup the entire time.
@@ -14071,13 +14071,13 @@
 "You certainly are an odd one, the question of your worth aside."
   For just a moment, she had returned to the affable Touko Aozaki he met before the glasses came off.
   Leaving him with the image of her smile, she departed the mansion.
-  Her broken glasses remained sitting on the drawing room table.
+  Her broken glasses remained on the drawing-room table.
 "We're hooome!"
   No sooner had the eerie visitor left, did Aoko and Alice return home.
   Despite Aoko's sour mood, she seemed as merry as ever.
   Despite everything that had happened and their trip having its fair share of problems, she still had fun.
-  Whereas Alice was her usual stoic self.
-  With a form not unlike a parent following behind a rampaging toddler, cleaning up their mess.
+  Whereas Alice was her usual stoic self,
+  her manner not unlike a parent following behind a rampaging toddler, cleaning up their mess.
   The scene of their return was like something out of a TV sitcom, and lost in thought, Soujyuro forgot to greet them.
 "Did anything happen while we were out, Soujyuro?"
   Aoko asked, more so out of etiquette than curiosity, while removing her coat.
@@ -14105,7 +14105,7 @@
 "We drank some tea, then she took off her glasses...
  Huh... I can't remember anything after that."
   What was once a clear memory seemed to have been scrubbed clean from his mind.
-  Soujyuro was overcome by the same dizziness he felt before.
+  Soujyuro was overcome by the same dizziness he had felt earlier.
   A sharp dry smack echoed through the room.
   What snapped him out of his haze was an unexpected slap from Alice.
 "I won't warn you again.
@@ -14113,10 +14113,10 @@
   Deep within her eyes, beyond the normal cool indifference, was an intense fury.
   Realizing, however, that it was no ordinary anger, Soujyuro understood how careless he had been.
 "...I'm sorry. This place is very important to you. I should have known better."
-  Heavy silence followed.
+  A heavy silence followed.
   Both Soujyuro and Alice stood there, chained to the spot by their own regret.
   Aoko looked on in amazement, wondering if they would stay this way all night if left alone.
-"So hey. I know Soujyuro is at fault for letting my sister in, but Alice, you never told him he shouldn't.
+"So, hey. I know Soujyuro screwed up by letting my sister in, but Alice, you never told him he shouldn't.
   We're not children anymore, so how about we put this behind us, and focus on the problem at hand, okay?"
 "..."
   Alice hung her head and sat back down at Aoko's insistence.
@@ -14129,7 +14129,7 @@
   Considering the small talk was mostly about Aoko and her flaws, Soujyuro decided it would be better to take that part to his grave.
 "She mentioned the greater and lesser self? I wonder if she's been to India.
   In case you didn't catch on, Soujyuro, she must have done something to you."
-  Aoko turned to him, glaring at him sharply.
+  Aoko turned to him, glaring sharply.
   He had nothing to be ashamed of, but he looked away guiltily anyway.
 "She did? What did she do...exactly?"
 "You said you couldn't remember what she said, right? And up until a second ago you looked like a zombie.
@@ -14138,14 +14138,14 @@
   But it was not enough to detract Soujyuro from bringing it up again.
 "Aozaki, what are 'Mystic Eyes'?"
 "Eyes infused with magical energy. Simple forms of Mystic Eyes can cause temporary confusion, while more advanced ones can kill with just a glance. Stuff like that.
-  Eh, eyes like Balor's are really just the stuff of legends. If there were eyes like that, we could really use them right about now.
+  Eh, eyes like Balor's are really just the stuff of legends. If there were eyes like that, we could really use them right about now."
 "...?"
   Without further context, Aoko knew her explanation was completely lost on Soujyuro.
 "So... yeah.
 To put it simply, it's like my magic bullet, only you use your eyes to shoot it."
 "You can shoot... bullets from your eyes?"
   Soujyuro's confusion deepened along with Aoko's frustration.
-"Anyway! You looked into Touko's eyes after she blinked once, right? That's the moment she got you with her Mystic Eyes!
+"Anyway! You looked into Touko's eyes after she blinked once, right? That's the moment she put the whammy on you with her Mystic Eyes!
   Some mages even replace their eyes with cat's-eye stones, but my sister doesn't need to bother with that.
   She was born with hers. She doesn't even need to say anything to use them; she can just blink, like a camera shutter."
   Soujyuro pounded his fist in understanding.
@@ -14175,18 +14175,18 @@
  The simplest way I can describe it so you'll understand is to compare it to the sun.
   The Sun is really far away, and has been there from the beginning as far as we're concerned. Without it, you and I wouldn't be able to live."
 "Magecraft merely lets us take advantage of the Sun's benefits, so to speak.
-  Magecraft is all about imitating or paying for natural phenomena. We can use it to study, practice, and recreate Mystics-mysteries-but it can never truly create them.
+  Magecraft is all about imitating or paying for natural phenomena. We can use it to study, practice, and recreate Mystics―mysteries―but we can never truly create them.
   Actually, no matter how much you learn, you eventually hit a wall. It's like a limiter that human knowledge can never overcome."
 "And beyond that wall is where Magic, the Sun itself, exists.
   To attain it means to go where no one can go,
   and awaken miracles no one could possibly reproduce.
   A technique to make things happen that humanity could never hope to accomplish with any amount of time or resources... that's *True* Magic."
-"It's about overcoming that dimensional wall-like, running until you reach the end where you'll find a world with completely different rules from ours. That's the only way you can, well, learn it."
-I told you before that magecraft has no limits, right? Well I meant that it has no limits within the scope of human knowledge.
-  Meanwhile, Magic has lots of limits; as in, it can only do one thing, and one thing alone. Makes sense, right? I mean, we're talking about unique, rule-breaking concepts and mechanisms that exist outside the boundaries of the very universe."
+"It's about overcoming that dimensional wall―like, running until you reach the end where you'll find a world with completely different rules from ours. That's the only way you can, well, learn it."
+"I told you before that magecraft has no limits, right? Well, I meant that it has no limits within the scope of human knowledge.
+  Meanwhile, Magic has lots of limits; actually, it can only do one thing, and one thing alone. Makes sense, right? I mean, we're talking about unique, rule-breaking concepts and mechanisms that exist outside the boundaries of the very universe."
 "So... Magic is more amazing than magecraft. I think I get the general idea, but...
 It's really limited?"
-"Kinda. It's more like an exception, a special privilege, or an abuse of power."
+"Kinda. It's more like an exception, a special privilege, or an abuse of power.
   It's not versatile, but in making the impossible possible, it's all-powerful as far as magecraft is concerned."
 "Magic is like a reward a mage gets when reaching the Swirl of the Root, and that even goes for mages who don't possess the mettle to wield it. Just making a path to the Root gives them free reign to use it, in magecraft terms.
   In short, it's like becoming the richest person in the world."
@@ -14194,7 +14194,7 @@
   On the other hand, Alice looked as though she wished to make many revisions to Aoko's account.
 "The richest person in the world... In which case, does it mean that no matter how rich you are, only the richest person gets to have Magic?"
 "...I guess so, sure.
-  ...Sometimes you sure get to the right conclusion from the weirdest of places. It's like you said-there are many routes and theories to reach the Root, but unless you're first to the post, Magic will elude you.
+  ...Sometimes you sure get to the right conclusion from the weirdest of places. It's like you said―there are many routes and theories to reach the Root, but unless you're first to the post, Magic will elude you.
   No matter how good you are, if you're not the first, you're everyone else."
 "There are only five... no, four Magicians.
   And there are only four because once that path to the Root has been taken by one Magician, it's closed off to all others.
@@ -14218,15 +14218,15 @@
 "Remember when I mentioned that the Aozaki family has been mages for generations?
   Our history isn't ancient, but we've been blessed with good luck and talent,
   because somehow or another, an Aozaki finally attained True Magic."
-"Hold on just a second. Aozaki, so you mean-"
+"Hold on just a second. Aozaki, so you mean―"
 "I'm an apprentice mage, nothing more.
   I can't wield Magic, nor do I want to. I'm just the successor to the Aozaki family."
   Aoko asserted obtusely, her voice devoid of emotion.
   She became a mage not to wield Magic,
   but simply because the succession of her family's magecraft was forced on her.
-"...Anyway,
+"Anyway...
   in order to reach the Swirl of the Root, generations upon generations of mages have to dedicate their lives to research. Since every special snowflake is trying a unique approach and doesn't want to share, it obviously takes forever.
-  At any rate, you can't create Magic unless you have the innate ability to or through some sort of divine intervention."
+  At any rate, you can't create Magic unless you have the innate ability to, or through some sort of divine intervention."
 "Just making it to the Root isn't enough. If you lack a worthy heir to pass it on to, the miracle stops there. So much for your lineage.
   That's why mages cultivate their bloodlines, to pass magical energy from one generation to the next, and to create an heir more powerful than oneself."
   Aoko wrapped up the explanation by remarking that it was like producing a thoroughbred.
@@ -14251,8 +14251,8 @@
   And... while I don't really agree with him, my grandfather seemed dead set on switching it over to me during the winter when I was fifteen.
   To my sister, I suddenly stole her entire birthright, while not only being four years younger, but also lacking any magical knowledge."
 "I see. So that's why."
-  She'd said that she was "obligated" to take what was Aoko's.
-  Touko's words from not moments ago, her voice full of resentment as she spoke them.
+  Touko had said that she was "obligated" to take what was Aoko's.
+  He recalled how resentful her voice had been when she said it.
 "I'm not her, so I don't know how she feels about the whole thing.
   It's been three and a half years since she fought with grandfather, smashed her glasses, and left our home.
   No one has heard from her since then, and I became her replacement. I guess this is why we're squabbling."
@@ -14307,7 +14307,7 @@
 "Because she has to fight her only sister.
   That's sad, isn't it?"
   This was the source of his frustration.
-"...It's sad all right."
+"...It's sad, all right."
   Aoko's eyes narrowed unconsciously,
   as if hiding from a painful truth.
   "This guy is a poison," she thought to herself.
@@ -14328,8 +14328,8 @@
 "Really. So relax; she never paid any attention to things that were of no use to her anyway."
 "Okay. If you say so, Aozaki, then that's good enough for me.
   Oh, right. Speaking of things she has no use for, Touko took your teacup. The nice Sèvres one."
-"She did WHAT?!
-  And you just stood by and let her?!"
+"She did WHAT!?
+  And you just stood by and let her!?"
 "I did. ...So she really was stealing it after all, huh."
   Soujyuro nodded sagely, while Aoko fumed.
   She wondered where his serious manner and tone had gone.
@@ -14350,7 +14350,7 @@
   Listening to Aoko, Soujyuro recalled his conversation with Touko.
   He hoped he was imagining it, but he vaguely recalled her declaring Soujyuro Sizuki as someone's property...
 "That... is troubling."
-  Soujyuro's face turned grim, not unlike a detective at the scene of a crime-
+  Soujyuro's face turned grim, not unlike a detective at the scene of a crime―
   a scene which left no traces of evidence or clues as to how the case could be solved.
 "Right? She was a terrible sister. The worst."
   Unaware of Soujyuro's turmoil, Aoko calmly sipped her tea.
@@ -14364,7 +14364,7 @@
 "..."
   Tonight was supposed to be his night off from work...
   ...at least, until midnight.
-  But Soujyuro knew until the clock struck midnight, he would be serving on hand and foot the two ladies of the house.
+  But Soujyuro knew that until the clock struck midnight, he would be serving on hand and foot the two ladies of the house.
   For one, it would take at least another hour to prepare something to eat.
   And there was no way the exhausted Aoko and Alice would stand for that, so the only other option, in the end, was to have something delivered.
 (Maybe I should have taken Touko up on her offer after all.)
@@ -14460,8 +14460,8 @@
   was in the state it was in.
   Still, that did not change the fact the corridor upstairs was very long.
   And Aoko was not lying about how cold it was-inside was not much different than outside.
-"You really have no intention of helping me, do you?" 
-"I mean, I do enjoy cleaning, but...I don't know...
+"You really have no intention of helping me, do you? 
+  I mean, I do enjoy cleaning, but...I don't know...
   Don't you even feel a little bit guilty using a roommate like this? Or do you just not feel guilt at all?"
   As usual, he might have gone too far.
   His remarks had hit too close to home. Aoko closed her magazine and turned to face him.
@@ -14588,8 +14588,8 @@
   Long hair can be used in tons of ways.
   I can only use it to temporarily reinforce magecraft, but my sister can use it to complement longer-lasting spells.
   With all those thoughts and memories in that hair, it's like having a mage clone.
-  You can even use it on a dead dog or cat, reviving them and making them the mage's familiar.
-Familiars with no previous magical energy, like said dog or cat, can acquire Magic Circuits. All thanks to the hair.
+  You can even use it on a dead dog or cat, reviving them and making them the mage's familiar."
+"Familiars with no previous magical energy, like said dog or cat, can acquire Magic Circuits. All thanks to the hair.
   The reanimated creature becomes something entirely different. They can even speak and take human form.
   Their behavior changes, too, to something resembling a regular mage. Right, Alice?"
   Her last words came with a mocking smile.
@@ -14743,7 +14743,7 @@
   Hesitantly, he picked up the receiver and brought it to his ear.
   He heard nothing.
   He felt he had to say something, but could not think what.
-Maybe something like, "Hello? Kuonji residence!"
+  Maybe something like, "Hello? Kuonji residence!"
   Or maybe, "You've reached the Aozaki residence"?
   While he was deep in thought, a voice as light as air came through the receiver.
 "Sizuki...?"
@@ -14765,7 +14765,7 @@
   Dozens of feral dogs snarled at Alice, their eyes trained on her.
   The snow clung to the beasts' mangy fur.
   Their clenched fangs and bloodshot eyes hid a barely-reined hunger that might burst forth like lightning at any moment.
-They yearned to taste her warm flesh, and satiate their empty bellies.
+  They yearned to taste her warm flesh, and satiate their empty bellies.
   To them, the girl in black stood like a lighthouse in a stormy sea.
   She watched them, disinterested.
   It appeared that the Yashirogi sigil was the key target tonight, not Toukawa where Aoko had gone.
@@ -14823,7 +14823,7 @@
   There were just so many.
   What kind of magecraft could do that?
 "Oh, these are special.
-"These runes shift location-they're doing it even now. They look like simple scratches, but they return to their original form when they touch strong magical energy. You could call them 'memory runes.'
+These runes shift location-they're doing it even now. They look like simple scratches, but they return to their original form when they touch strong magical energy. You could call them 'memory runes.'
   No matter how deep the night, these little suns won't set. And the snow hid them beautifully."
   She spoke modestly, but Alice could not imagine the amount of persistence, technique, and skill it must have taken.
   And it only took a day. Even ten mages would have trouble producing so many sophisticated runes in that time.
@@ -14903,7 +14903,7 @@
   Projection-type eyes had a fatal flaw: their firepower and formulae were insignificant compared to the great artillery of incanted spells. But Touko had torn down that conventional wisdom with brute strength.
   If the gun was a pea-shooter, she simply needed to bring more guns.
   A 9-millimeter bullet could never destroy a fortress... unless one threw a fortress' mass of bullets at it.
-  The principle was brutishly simple, but in the world of magecraft where concepts decided supremacy, Touko had created the perfect weapon.
+  The principle was brutishly simple, but in the world of magecraft where concepts decided supremacy, Touko's Iterative Mystic Eyes were the perfect weapon.
   The target would be bound until she closed her eyes.
   In theory at least, the effects were infinite.
   No amount of magical energy could ever overcome it, so it was utterly futile to resist using magical energy.
@@ -14989,7 +14989,7 @@
   Its form was made entirely of stone.
   Previously, she had created one using the trees of a forest.
   However, Touko knew instantly the monster before her was at least twice as powerful.
-"""""HALT!!!""""
+"""""HALT!!!"""""
   She unleashed her stacked Mystic Eyes.
   They were meaningless at this stage; they had no effect on the giant.
   As said, Mystic Eyes can be countered in two ways.
@@ -15092,7 +15092,7 @@
   Barely clinging to life, Alice stared at Touko.
   But not a stare of hatred in defeat, but one of disbelief. Alice simply wondered why Touko had brought such a beast.
 "Ah, pardon me. I should have introduced you.
-  This is the last known werewolf on Earth."
+  This is the last known werewolf on Earth.
 A pureblood, born to an indigenous tribe in the northern European tundra.
   As you can see, he's a golden Mystic, and it doesn't do him justice to say he merely resembles his ancestors. He didn't have a name, so I called him Beowulf. Pretty apt, right?"
 "Beo...wulf?"
@@ -15150,12 +15150,12 @@
 "However, ours has its own set of drawbacks.
   The pain Aoko feels in her right arm is the remainder of her human body reacting to being changed into a Mystic.
   Her mundane body rejects her right arm, and that pain is the cost of its deletion.
-  It causes both physical and mental phantom pain, like some original sin that can never be wiped away.
+  It causes both physical and mental phantom pain, like some original sin that can never be wiped away."
 "Still, when you've come this far, pain becomes trivial.
   It makes it difficult to know if you're really alive.
   Do you still believe you're human?
   Honestly, I sympathize.
-We've both had a hard time with such extraordinary teachers, haven't we, Alice?
+We've both had a hard time with such extraordinary teachers, haven't we, Alice?"
   Touko took Alice's body in her arms.
   The wounds from Beowulf had mostly healed.
   Even so, her breathing was shallow, likely due to the pain.
@@ -15288,7 +15288,7 @@
   Four inches on the map, but so much farther in reality. For the first time, Soujyuro cursed the town.
   Alice's injuries were not limited to her abdomen.
   The wolf had punched a hole straight through to her back,
-crushing her lower vertebrae and leaving both of her legs paralyzed.
+ crushing her lower vertebrae and leaving both of her legs paralyzed.
   Though her Magic Crests were repairing the damage, it would likely take another hour before recovery.
   At the very least, her heart and slender arms still worked.
   Although, after crawling along the ground to the phone booth, those too were failing her.
@@ -15333,7 +15333,7 @@
   It was as though she was in the space between disconnected body and mind.
   A crying woman and a silent child...
   High was the sky, deep was the forest, unmoving were the people.
-No footsteps or voices of salvation came.
+  No footsteps or voices of salvation came.
   Who was that looking innocently up at the sky in the stillness?
 "..."
   When she came to, Alice was going up a familiar hill.
@@ -15473,7 +15473,7 @@
   Alice's expression when she looked at the moon had come from her trying to accept an immutable reality.
   Aoko had not hung up, but the line remained silent.
   Alice set down the receiver, quickly put on her mantle, and made for the entrance, moving her injured body by sheer willpower alone.
-  Along the way, she paused, then turned to Soujyuro, and looked directly at him.
+  Along the way, she paused, turned to Soujyuro, and looked directly at him.
 "Aoko's in trouble, isn't she?"
   Alice hesitated for a moment...
   ...before pushing aside her anxiety and grabbing his hand.
@@ -15487,11 +15487,11 @@
 "A-Alice, wait! Shouldn't we call ahead?"
   Soujyuro asked Alice, whose grip on his hand was light but unyielding.
 "The church already knows.
-  And if you're talking about the hospital, no need; it's quicker for us to go and help than call for it. They can't fly."
+  And if you're talking about the hospital, no need. It's quicker for us to go and help than call for a car. They can't fly."
   Alice had thought of everything.
   She turned to the mansion and lightly snapped her fingers.
   In response, a window opened and countless starlings took flight.
-"Group one, search for the enemy. Group two and three, proceed to the scene and administer first aid. Haste is paramount.
+"Group One, search for the enemy. Groups Two and Three, proceed to the scene and administer first aid. Haste is paramount.
 If Aoko is still alive, do not let her heart stop."
   Alice commanded the birds firmly.
 "Sizuki, fetch Aoko's bicycle from the rear courtyard."
@@ -15500,11 +15500,11 @@
   When he was cleaning the incinerator, Aoko had verbally assaulted him for nearly scratching it.
 "Okay... But what's the plan?"
 "You're much safer at the church than here. And I need to hurry.
- Think you can ride with me on the back?"
-"...Um..."
-  He had seen others ride tandem and was confident he could do it. Only, it was the bicycle that concerned him.
-  Its frame was so light, Soujyuro was unsure it could support both their weights.
-"Let me get this straight: you want me to piggy-back you?"
+ Can you can take us both, Sizuki?"
+"...Hm."
+  While Soujyuro had seen people riding tandem and was confident he could imitate them, he still wasn't quite certain he could trust a bicycle with his life.
+  Moreover, its frame was so light, he was unsure it could support both their weights.
+"Wait,  you mean you want to ride on the back!?"
 "...
 If it's too much, then I don't need your help."
   Alice turned away as if to snub him, then began walking.
@@ -15526,7 +15526,7 @@
 "Alice!"
   She turned as he called out to her,
   before shooting him a piercing glare.
-"Come on. Hop on the back. No cushion though, so it won't be a comfy ride. Let me know if it's too much."
+"Come on. Hop on the back. No cushion though, so it won't be a comfy ride. Let me know if it's too uncomfortable."
 "...I'll be fine. Worry about yourself."
   He had hit the nail on the head. Alice definitely held a grudge over the smallest things.
 "If that's the issue then there is no issue. I'm happy to give you a ride. We're going to Aida Church, right?"
@@ -15542,18 +15542,18 @@
   he said quietly.
 "What's 'good'...?"
   Soujyuro turned to her, an ambiguous expression on his face, and then began pedaling vigorously.
-  He let go of the breaks, and the bicycle hurtled down Shiroinuzuka's steep incline.
+  He let go of the brakes, and the bicycle hurtled down Shiroinuzuka's steep incline.
 "...!"
   Surprised by the sudden speed, Alice gasped,
   and clutched Soujyuro tighter.
 "Si―"
-  She went to protest, but stopped when she saw the serious expression on Soujyuro's face.
+  She almost protested, but stopped when she saw the serious expression on Soujyuro's face.
   Instead, she decided to tighten her grip.
   Under the night sky, a young girl had put her faith in a young boy.
-  Faster than a rollercoaster, the bicycle hurtled toward Misaki Town Station.
+  Faster than a rollercoaster, the bicycle hurtled toward Misaki Station.
   Around the station, there was no sight of cars or people.
   While the town slept under its snowy blanket, two people were racing like the wind.
-  The boy spoke.
+  While he pedaled, the boy said,
 "Whew. Riding tandem is way easier than I thought."
   But he was alone in his relief.
   It was their first bicycle ride together, and they spent it speeding down an empty highway.
@@ -15647,7 +15647,7 @@
 "...
 Is this true?"
   Alice stared straight at Soujyuro
-to let him know she was mad at him for hiding this from her.
+ to let him know she was mad at him for hiding this from her.
 "Yes? I know her from my part-time job at the fish market.
   She was nice to me, so I gave her a free sardine to persuade her to come back."
 "..."
@@ -15928,7 +15928,7 @@
 "What exactly happened to him?"
   Alice paused for a moment before carefully answering the question.
 "Well,
-when he saw you, he vomited."
+ when he saw you, he vomited."
   She had decided to be blunt.
   Aoko was taken aback.
   For several seconds, dim sunlight leaked through the window.
@@ -16494,7 +16494,7 @@
   She had to leave behind her ambitions and prospects, and live the life of a mage-something she barely knew anything about.
   Her life up to that point had taught her that everything from then on would bring her misery.
   Aoko's grandfather was not the forceful type.
-Your sister has failed. Now, it's your turn, he had said.
+  Your sister has failed. Now, it's your turn, he had said.
   Did Aoko resist?
   Soujyuro could not begin to imagine.
   All he knew is that she could not be happy with the hand she was dealt.
@@ -16570,7 +16570,7 @@
 "Now now, Sister Yuika. There's no need to be so curt.
   Why not just tell him the truth? That the room is actually empty.
 Aoko left some time ago."
-"But Father Eiri!
+"But Father Eiri!"
   The priest began to explain everything from the pew he still sat in.
   About the things he and Soujyuro had spoken about.
   And why he, a stranger, would be so concerned about a person he knew nothing about.
@@ -16627,8 +16627,8 @@
 ...Dear Lord, give me strength. You seem so quiet, Soujyuro, but you're more short-tempered than Ritsuka."
 "If I may, Father Eiri..."
 "I see no harm in letting him go. Or would you rather see Touko destroy Aoko and Alice?"
-"That issue is separate from this suicidal devotion."
-"Reconsider, Mr. Sizuki. Even if you go, there's nothing you can do for them."
+"That issue is separate from this suicidal devotion.
+  Reconsider, Mr. Sizuki. Even if you go, there's nothing you can do for them."
 "..."
     The truth of the statement cut Soujyuro deep.
   But despite everything that was being said, his mind was made up.
@@ -16643,7 +16643,7 @@
   He just wanted to see her.
 He would figure out what came next once he got there.
 "See? He isn't suicidal.
-You say he'll get in the way, but Aoko and Alice stand no chance of winning anyway, correct?
+  You say he'll get in the way, but Aoko and Alice stand no chance of winning anyway, correct?
   
 So what's the problem? Better to burn out in a blaze of glory."
 "Father..."
@@ -16772,14 +16772,14 @@
   Still, this changes nothing. Whatever sort of miraculous Mystic her Magic is,  as long as she remains a mage, she can't win."
   With those words, Beo's master walked out of the room,
   emphasizing that his role in all this was to face Aoko *only* at that very moment.
-"...True Magic, huh...?"
+"True Magic, huh...?"
   The bored look in his eyes shifted.
   He recalled the taste of that girl, his long tongue sliding over his chainsaw-like fangs.
   Make no mistake, he would finish his meal.
   He was the oldest werewolf; the golden god of the forest.
   For as long as he could remember-no, from the moment he appeared, he had been the most powerful creature of all.
   All manmade Mystics were trash before him.
-  Magecraft was laughable, and Mystic-artificial miracles-which even surpassed that were superfluous. Futile. Their very existence was an insult to him.
+  Magecraft was laughable, and even Mystics―artificial miracles―were futile. Their very existence was an insult to him.
 "After all, that was the deal. When the time comes, I dig right in."
   That was the extent of their pact.
   Once he had dealt with this so-called True Magic, he was free.
@@ -16798,7 +16798,7 @@
   An otherworldly realm had taken root, not even two miles away from town.
   Piercing the cold night air, footsteps crunched through the powdery snow.
 "No traps this way.
-  "So... what's the plan? Sneak into the old school building?"
+  So... what's the plan? Sneak into the old school building?"
 "Yeah, right. She already knows we're here.
 Why hide? And what would we do once we were in her hideout? We're not here to steal anything."
 "What about the element of surprise?"
@@ -17111,7 +17111,7 @@
   Just brushed it aside, like it was a cobweb.
   The sound disappeared; a new one replaced it.
                   /I wish for nothing.
-I want nothing.
+ I want nothing.
   A pure, obedient heart.
                 /That's why...
  ...you get nothing.
@@ -17472,7 +17472,7 @@
   The three thin, crystalline lenses amplified her carved runes tens of millions of times;
   they rendered projectiles like magic bullets ineffective.
   Even if Aoko's magical output far exceeded Touko's, these giant slabs were several times more powerful still.
-Aoko's signature magecraft could only release magical energy, so she had no way to defend or evade the attack!
+  Aoko's signature magecraft could only release magical energy, so she had no way to defend or evade the attack!
 "...<Affix subjective axis.|Main, set.>"
   Pushing herself on, Aoko took a deep breath of resolve.
   Instead of defending or dodging, she went low and charged into the rune storm.
@@ -17936,7 +17936,7 @@
   She knew that copying a crest had no purpose.
   Only the original inheritor could invoke one.
   There was only one possible conclusion.
-"...I see."
+"...I see.
   If they aren't inscribed on your skin and just floating in the air..."
   Aoko spat a curse at her sister.
   Touko nodded, pleased at her enemies' quick wit.
@@ -17950,8 +17950,8 @@
   Which means...
 The person or persons you stole them from can't die, so you must be have them locked up somewhere. If they died, you couldn't activate their crests."
 "Touko, you..." 
-"I don't remember anyone complaining."
-"They were asking for it. They should've been better prepared if they wanted to face me.
+"I don't remember anyone complaining.
+They were asking for it. They should've been better prepared if they wanted to face me.
   There were some rather rude fools who used questionable language.
   But I think I've been quite kind really. They came to kill me, and I let them live."
 "Really? As a fellow mage, I only hope they're okay."
@@ -18023,7 +18023,7 @@
   Speaking of waiting, the werewolf Touko had called was nowhere to be seen.
   It should not have taken him more than a few seconds to come flying out of the old school building.
 "What's the big hurry? He's after Little Red Riding Hood for the time being.
-  Or rather, 'Little Black Hat,' to force the metaphor.
+  Or rather, 'Little Black Hat,' to force the metaphor."
   Her tone reeked of irony.
 "..."
   The words traveled aimlessly across the school yard like a rambling announcement.
@@ -18057,7 +18057,7 @@
   He stared back at the girls, eyes gleaming, twinkling with excitement at the brutality to come.
   The blond hair and green eyes she saw last night
   and his effeminate features now
-seemed ethereal, like he had changed into a being from another planet.
+ seemed ethereal, like he had changed into a being from another planet.
 "You'll feast tonight, Beo."
   Touko's voice echoed from afar.
   The boy's grin broadened.
@@ -18200,7 +18200,7 @@
   But the nausea and dizziness from the first time...
   The pathetic whining of the last few weeks...
   The doubts clouding his mind... they were all gone,
-displaced entirely from his mind by an even stronger emotion.
+ displaced entirely from his mind by an even stronger emotion.
   His heart pounded with the force of a sledgehammer.
   It was a primal sound, loud enough to bring him to his senses.
 "..."
@@ -18240,7 +18240,7 @@
   His voice brightened, as if buying her bravado.
   The truth was that she barely had the strength to live.
   Despite that, Soujyuro looked like he wanted to respond in his usual way.
-Something like, "see, Aozaki? You're too tough to die, even when someone kills you."
+  Something like, "see, Aozaki? You're too tough to die, even when someone kills you."
 "You know..."
   As soon as she tried to speak, she ran out of breath.
   Soujyuro heard her loud and clear this time.
@@ -18544,12 +18544,12 @@
   Aoko's jaw dropped.
   It took her a moment to process what he had just said.
   She recalled some meaningless conversation or other from who knows when.
-(Is he making fun of me?
-  Don't be ridiculous. Why would anyone train to fight bears?)
+"...Are you making fun of me?
+  Good grief. Why did they train me to fight bears, of all things?"
 "..."
   Yes. Now she thought about it, they had spoken about that.
   He'd mentioned being familiar with large beasts,
-  and she couldn't deny that she'd heard him utter some anachronistic nonsense about training to deal with them.
+  and she couldn't deny that she'd heard him utter some anachronistic nonsense about training against them.
   Which meant...
   He was used to dealing with animals larger than himself.
   If he'd lived the sort of life that involved run-ins with wild bears, then a man-wolf might only have been surprising, but not particularly frightening.
@@ -18642,7 +18642,7 @@
   The elbow was only able to penetrate the beast's golden fur because of the first attack to his chest.
 (...It left Beo wide open.
   Took away his invincibility for a split second.
-  Basically..."
+  Basically...)
   The strike was not meant to break, but to disable.
   All living creatures had weaknesses.
   No matter how strong the creature, it had weak points and weak moments.
@@ -18830,7 +18830,7 @@
   A single incantation.
   A final, heartfelt farewell.
   A brilliant, blue-colored Magic, taking time back to when a certain someone had been blessed.
-  Six days passed; the weather in that time sunny and clear.
+  Six days passed, the weather in that time sunny and clear.
   It first came to Soujyuro's attention when he was resting with Alice after spending all day cleaning.
 "You're off work today, right, Soujyuro?"
   Aoko asked him in her usual manner immediately upon entering the drawing room.
@@ -18844,7 +18844,7 @@
   However, she looked surprised as well, her eyes widening ever so slightly as she studied the other two.
 "Huh? What things?"
   He replied timidly, struggling to hide his bitterness at Aoko for waiting until the cleaning was finished before deciding to show up.
-"Your things. Get them ready. It takes an hour to walk up the mountain so make sure you dress accordingly."
+"Your things. Get them ready. It takes an hour to walk up the mountain, so make sure you dress accordingly."
   Soujyuro's expression only grew darker.
   The way she spoke made it sound like...
 "You're taking Sizuki with you?"
@@ -18860,7 +18860,7 @@
 "We're leaving at nine-thirty."
   Having said all she wanted, Aoko disappeared from the room once again.
   Alice and Soujyuro could only sit in dumbfounded silence.
-"Uh, Alice? Is Aozaki's house very far from here?"
+"Alice? Is Aozaki's house very far from here?"
   He stared at the clock as he spoke. There were only ten minutes to go until half past the hour.
 "It's at the edges of Misaki City. Four stops away by train, up on a small mountain.
   Though it's more like a hill by your standards, I'd imagine."
@@ -18896,11 +18896,11 @@
   Bewildered, Alice finally returned to the drawing room without uttering a single word.
   Her only response had been the very smallest of nods.
   They were headed for Akikoshiro train station.
-  The night had grown late-it was nearly eleven o'clock.
+  The night had grown late; it was nearly eleven o'clock.
   A train full of tourists went by in the opposite direction before the two finally arrived at the tiny station.
   The surrounding area was incredibly dark and quiet.
   In fact, it felt less like a station and more like a small boat dock.
-  Soujyuro had a hard time imagining that many people came here even during the day.
+  Soujyuro had a hard time imagining that many people came here, even during the day.
   It had only the absolute bare minimum necessary to greet the odd visitor.
   There were no convenience stores in sight, only fields and the streetlights that dotted the road.
   Aoko placed her ticket in front of the attendant who sat sleeping in his chair, and skimmed the train schedule.
@@ -18913,10 +18913,10 @@
   The small train station had been rendered obsolete now that cars were commonplace.
   It was like a lone star shining in the night sky.
   Soujyuro thanked the attendant for his service before stepping out into the darkness. The man must have looked after the station for decades at this point, and would likely continue until the day he died.
-  Outside the station there was little in the way of human development. It could scarcely be called a village.
+  Outside the station, there was little in the way of human development. It could scarcely be called a village.
   There was not even an area out front for cars and buses to drop people off.
   Their eyes were met only with a panorama of flat fields interlaced with a lattice of footpaths.
-  Though surely a sea of beautiful green in summertime, in winter it was more like a wasteland.
+  Though surely a sea of beautiful green in the summertime, during winter it was more like a wasteland.
   However, electric lights that felt strangely out of place illuminated one side of the dark vista.
   The cold only grew harsher as the night wore on.
   It relentlessly snatched all sensation from the fingertips.
@@ -18928,7 +18928,7 @@
   That's my place."
   She pointed out a mountain that rose up before them with her finger.
   The journey looked like it would take about forty minutes on foot.
-  For now they remained among the rice fields, though their journey would continue beyond them.
+  For now, they remained among the rice fields, though their journey would continue beyond them.
   Aoko followed the path bathed in light without looking back.
   The path seemed to hang before them like a pier leading out into the darkness of the ocean.
   The closer they got to the mountain, the darker it became.
@@ -18964,7 +18964,7 @@
   Her blunt retort was not entirely honest.
   She would surely scold him if he dared lie to her.
   Soujyuro said as much, reminding her of how she had claimed to hate lies.
-  Naturally she did not bother to respond to him.
+  Naturally, she did not bother responding.
 "Damned either way, I guess. I don't have anything else to talk about, but there is something I wanted to ask.
   You said anything goes, right?"
   A slight scowl crossed her face at his suggestion.
@@ -18974,7 +18974,7 @@
   Their destination in the mountains remained hidden from them, revealing not even a hint of its form.
   It had bothered him ever since that night.
   What was the truth behind it all, and how would the two sisters' drama unfold?
-  Soujyuro ventured to press Aoko for details.
+  Soujyuro decided to press Aoko for details.
 "So what was it that Miss Touko wanted to accomplish?"
 "I thought I told you. She wanted to get revenge against me, and then there's the whole coming in contact with the Root thing.
 We already talked about the Swirl of the Root, remember?"
@@ -18982,7 +18982,7 @@
 "Right. And also its end goal.
   The place where all knowledge is recorded, where all matters are settled.
   To see, touch, and understand it makes even the impossible possible. It has gone by many names over the years, but you could say it's where God lives."
-"God? So there's just one then? Not a bunch, like in Shinto?"
+"God? So there's just one, then? Not a bunch, like in Shinto?"
 "There you go again with your annoying questions.
   There are gods in everything around us, but there's also one big underlying force that existed way before all that."
 "Who knows why an entrance to the Root is located in Misaki, but my grandfather discovered it and was able to create a new kind of Magic.
@@ -18994,11 +18994,11 @@
   He refused to allow anyone to investigate the Root until a stronger heir was born. He's willing to pass on True Magic, just not the way to reach the Root.
   I understand where Touko's coming from, but I agree with my grandfather.
   I don't care about the Root, and anyway, to this day there haven't been any survivors. There's not even proof that it's really the seat of the gods."
-  Her mood had gradually soured as she spoke and towards the end it sounded more like a list of complaints.
+  Her mood gradually soured as she spoke, and towards the end, it sounded more like a list of complaints.
   Despite her words, however, part of Aoko was unable to agree completely with her grandfather's decision.
   Soujyuro took note and followed up with a question about something he found strange.
 "What did you mean about how there haven't been any survivors?"
-"I meant that no one's ever come in contact with the Root and made it back to talk about it. Not a single person in the entire world.
+"I meant that no one's ever come in contact with the Root and returned to talk about it. Not a single person in the entire world.
   Coming in contact with it means instant death. The soul of a mere human simply 'returns to the source,' so to speak. In other words, it gets sucked into the Root."
 "That's why not even the greatest mages in history dared to touch it. Just coming close is enough to send them frantically trying to stabilize their magecraft."
   Soujyuro furrowed his brow at the oddness of it all.
@@ -19026,31 +19026,31 @@
   Since she doesn't worry about the future, she focuses all her energy on the here and now."
   Aoko praised her sister's genius even while cursing her every being.
   Though her tone of voice was perfectly pleasant and lacked any audible animosity.
-"Right. Miss Touko seemed to really like me a lot."
+"Right. She does seem like she'd rather stay here."
   As soon as he spoke, he was struck by the meaning of Aoko's earlier words.
 "I don't care about the Root."
   He realized that she must feel the same way as Touko.
-  And so...
+  Still...
   There was one thing that had been bothering Soujyuro regarding Touko.
 "What did you mean about turning her into a frog?"
   He ventured to bring up the topic no one had been talking about since it occurred.
   It had always seemed taboo to bring up, so the sense of transgression made him hesitate as he finally sought the truth.
 "Exactly what it sounds like.
   Rune mages can shapeshift, so apparently that made her especially susceptible to the curse."
-"Sounds like a bigger deal than you're making it out to be."
+"That sounds like a bigger deal than you're making it out to be..."
   His stomach hurt from the stress of not knowing how to respond to her cavalier attitude.
 "I mean... how is it even possible to turn someone into a frog?"
   He did not particularly want to ask, but it was the natural extension of his current line of inquiry.
   Aoko stared straight ahead as she lectured him, completely ignoring the pained expression on his face.
-"So there are two ways to go about it: a mind swap, or a reconfiguration of the person's physical form.
-  Swapping minds is easy, but the effects do not last very long.
-  It will feel like you are dreaming, and then there will be a little jolt when you return to your body."
+"So, there are two ways to go about it: a mind swap, or a reconfiguration of the person's physical form.
+  Swapping minds is easy, but the effects don't last long.
+  It feels like you're dreaming, and then there's a little jolt when you return to your body."
 "Changing someone's physical form is more tricky, and it's hard to revert back before the spell ends.
   I used the physical reconfiguration approach, I guess.
   Something about reconstructing the base DNA sequence... I don't know, it's all gibberish to me! You can't explain magecraft with scientific jargon, anyway, right?"
   Aoko spoke as if it were not her own actions she were discussing.
-  Apparently she had only been borrowing magecraft from her future self and could not use any of it in the present.
-  Her actions had also created a looming threat that would come back to haunt them in ten years time.
+  Apparently, she had been borrowing magecraft from her future self and could not use any of it in the present.
+  Her actions had also created a looming threat that would come back to haunt them in ten years' time.
   Trying to comprehend even a fraction of all the intricacies involved made Soujyuro's head hurt.
 "But several years from now, you'll know how to do stuff like that?
   Pretty scary if you ask me."
@@ -19062,7 +19062,7 @@
 "I said you should take her more seriously, remember?
   You really never listen.
   Know those dolls in her room? They're all that's left of people who opposed her."
-"Hah. Alice would never do something like that."
+"...Surely, Alice would never do something like that."
 "That's exactly what I thought for the first six months or so."
   The light, cheerful laughter that followed only made her statement all the more chilling.
 "It's not funny to joke like that, Aozaki."
@@ -19070,19 +19070,19 @@
   She was clearly making fun of him at this point.
   Unable to determine how serious to take what she had said, Soujyuro's mood and expression only grew darker.
 His obvious dejection made Aoko smile with satisfaction.
-"She shouldn't be able to be a witch in the first place if she agrees with what you say..."
+"She shouldn't be able to be a witch in the first place if she agrees with what you're saying..."
   She gazed at him as they walked, her chest warm with emotion.
   The path they strode had shifted from footpaths through rice fields to a road climbing the mountain.
   It was surprisingly wide given the mountain's small size, though with no shortage of trees on either side.
   The forest road led them up to the top of the mountain.
   Wheel marks were etched into the dirt underfoot.
-  No doubt Aozaki's family came through here by car.
+  No doubt the Aozaki family came through here by car.
   The only light at the summit was that of the moon and stars overhead; the bald mountaintop lacked streetlights and houses as well as vegetation.
   Near the top, the incline of their path began to even out.
   The road ended abruptly at a house, still a good way away before them.
   It was too far to make out the shape of the building, but Soujyuro assumed it was Aozaki's house based on the warm light coming from the windows.
 "So, what should I do while you're busy with your family bonding time?"
-  He had a hard time imagining her engaging in any sort of "family bonding time," but with effort he could imagine that it must be a joyful time for her.
+  Soujyuro had a hard time imagining Aoko engaging in any sort of "family bonding time," but with effort, he could imagine that it must be a joyful time for her.
   He did not want to ruin that by intruding, which is why he brought up the subject now.
   If he had to, he would not have minded spending the night camping outside.
   Her reply was not what he had expected.
@@ -19101,7 +19101,7 @@
 "I wasn't lying about wanting someone to talk to, though. It just so happens that my grandfather also told me to bring you to see him."
   Soujyuro nodded in acceptance.
   He was as quiet and unchanging as the night around him.
-  Something which Aoko found thoroughly irritating.
+  Aoko found it thoroughly irritating.
 "Well, we should get going then. It gets cold when you stop moving."
 "Soujyuro."
   Aoko's voice stopped him in his tracks just as he was about to resume walking toward her house.
@@ -19131,8 +19131,8 @@
   Something about the one-time werewolf killer before her.
   And the mystery of who Soujyuro Sizuki really was.
   The older version of herself that night had had memories and knowledge of Soujyuro beyond what she knew now.
-  Something about this seemingly average boy's mistakes.
-Why he was able to do what he did, and why he was raised in the mountains in the first place.
+  She knew something about this seemingly average boy's mistakes―
+why he was able to do what he did, and why he was raised in the mountains in the first place.
   She had always wondered but never had a chance to ask him about it... until now.
   Once her grandfather was through with them, all those questions she had about Soujyuro would be gone, too.
 "..."
@@ -19146,10 +19146,10 @@
 "I already told you I don't expect you to say anything interesting.
   I'm about to forget everything you say, so just humor me on this one, okay?"
   Her words and demanding gaze caused him to lift his head in surprise.
-"You mean you'll forget, too?"
-"Of course. It would be pointless if I remember everything. We won't be able to make a clear break unless we both forget.
+"...You mean you'll forget, too?"
+"Of course. It would be pointless if I remember everything. We won't be able to make a clean break unless we both forget.
   It makes sense when you think about it.
-So quit looking at me like that."
+So, quit looking at me like that."
   Soujyuro's hand shot up to cover his mouth in response.
   He had no idea what kind of look he had been giving her, but he had a feeling it had been pretty pathetic.
 "So we'll both forget...
@@ -19157,16 +19157,16 @@
 I wasn't expecting that."
 "Yeah, so we won't see each other anymore. You never know, but most likely not."
   Thus, this would be their last conversation.
-  The way she spoke made it obvious even if he had not been aware of what awaited him inside.
-  Soujyuro might see her walk by at school and feel a desire to talk.
-  But they would have no reason to interact.
+  The way she spoke made it obvious, even if he had been unaware of what awaited him.
+  Soujyuro might see her walk by at school and feel a desire to talk,
+  but they would have no reason to interact.
 Even if he tried to strike up a conversation, he knew she was not the type to bother much with other people.
   More importantly, he was not the type to strike up conversations in the first place. Not the way he had been a month ago, at least.
-  That was when he finally realized how cruel it can be to forget something.
+  That was when he finally realized how cruel it could be to forget something.
   Not only would he forget what they had done together, he would not so much as know her name or even be aware that she existed.
   Even if he felt strangely drawn to her, he would never understand why.
-  And despite the fact that if some lucky twist of fate brought them together, things would never be the same.
-  Their walk that night was no less than a funeral for the both of them.
+  Even if some lucky twist of fate brought them together, things would never be the same.
+  Their walk that night was no less than a funeral for them both.
   He would essentially kill the person he knew as Aoko Aozaki,
   and she would kill the person she knew as Soujyuro Sizuki.
   Afterward, nothing would remain.
@@ -19192,19 +19192,19 @@
   He stared straight ahead as if telling his story to the night itself, not once turning to face Aoko.
   For her part, Aoko was utterly silent.
   She knew it was pointless to so much as nod or ask a question.
-"One day I woke up and got started like any other day, but then I realized someone who I'd seen every day was suddenly gone.
-  I asked around and apparently they'd started feeling bad during the night. Sometimes people who can't sleep go out on a walk by themselves, you know?
+"One day, I woke up and got started like any other day, but then I realized someone whom I'd seen every day was suddenly gone.
+  I asked around, and apparently they'd started feeling unwell during the night. Sometimes, people who can't sleep go out on a walk by themselves, you know?
   A while later, people discovered a familiar-looking corpse at the bottom of the cliff."
 "Now that I think about it, that was pretty strange...
   It never would've happened if we'd all been living together, but no one was bothered by it. Maybe people didn't value each other since everyone lived on a day-to-day basis."
-"There wasn't much to eat in the mountains. To avoid starvation we often went to places most people wouldn't go. Lots of people died on the way, too."
+"There wasn't much to eat in the mountains. To avoid starvation, we often went to places most people wouldn't go. Lots of people died on the way, too."
 "No one would even dream of stealing from others in the mountains. 
-  When you're out searching for food, the only thing you need to watch out for are dogs and bears, not other people.
+  When you're out searching for food, the only things you need to watch out for are dogs and bears, not other people.
  Here things are the other way around, though.
   Anyway, half our time was taken up just with that."
   Soujyuro continued to stare straight ahead.
   He did not seem troubled by his memories.
-  To Aoko's ears, it sounded like he was describing a place no one in their right mind would want to live as if it were perfectly normal-almost as if he missed it.
+  To Aoko's ears, it sounded like he was describing a place no one in their right mind would want to live as if it were perfectly normal. It was almost as if he missed it.
   But from that point onward, he slowly began to show more signs of distress as he spoke.
 "The other half of our time was spent learning how to defend ourselves.
   It wasn't much compared to classes at school now. They just told us to notice how our bodies move and how other animals' bodies move, and had us think about it.
@@ -19232,12 +19232,12 @@
   The imbalance in his education, for one.
   His knowledge of the basics of human life was thorough, yet he knew next to nothing about modern technology.
   He always said he was not good at socializing, but he seemed accustomed to talking and discussion.
-  His upbringing could not have happened that way by chance; it was most certainly an environment purposefully constructed according to a play by some third party.
-  Aoko had no idea what that plan could be, or who the third party was, though.
+  His upbringing could not have happened that way by chance; it was most certainly an environment purposefully constructed by some third party.
+  Aoko had no idea what that purpose could be, or who the third party was, though.
   Why would anyone want to create someone with a background like Soujyuro's?
   Was it all part of a grander plan? Or, was there really a place deep in the mountains where it was normal to live like that?
   He had asked about this once in his home in the mountains, apparently.
-  When he expressed his confusion an elder had taken him aside, saying,
+  When he expressed his confusion, an elder had taken him aside, saying,
 "This is just how things have always been around here, boy.
   There's no reason to keep doing it, but there's also no reason to stop."
   With a laugh, the elder chose a new identity and life outside the mountains for young Soujyuro and sent him off to live on his own.
@@ -19245,34 +19245,34 @@
   It was a generic home without any real distinguishing features.
   It seemed as if a house from town had been picked up and dropped here. One could imagine the residents were peaceful people who engaged in farming and raising animals in their spare time.
   Gazing at what lay before him, Soujyuro finally opened his mouth to answer Aoko's earlier question.
-"I would've. If I'd never learned about the outside world, I would've stayed there forever. But now I know, and I could never go back.
+"I would have. If I'd never learned about the outside world, I would've stayed there forever. But now I know, and I can never go back.
 Coming here made everything simple.
   Someone once told me that no one wants a bird that can't sing.
-  It's the same when you learn the truth about something you'd never questioned before. Once you know the truth you just don't want it in your life anymore."
+  It's the same when you learn the truth about something you'd never questioned before. Once you know the truth, you just don't want it in your life anymore."
 "No matter how badly I want to be back in the mountains, I can't live like that anymore. There's no point even trying.
   Once I learned that things meant something, I couldn't just blindly believe things anymore. That's why I left the mountains.
   But who knows...
   That was all I'd ever known.
   It was all I'd ever been taught to do.
 That's why..."
-  There had been only one problem with his life in the mountains-him, for having questioned it.
+  There had been only one problem with his life in the mountains: himself, for having questioned it.
   It was all his mistake.
   He muttered as much to himself, his voice dripping with criticism.
   In Aoko's opinion,
   the world he described was, in a sense, perfect.
-  The best situation to achieve a goal is one in which all elements extraneous to that goal have been removed.
-  As long as the people involved have no concept of morality, they will consider the immoral to be completely correct.
-  No, even such correctness would be foreign in concept.
-  Only one thing was for sure.
-The world he had come from was frozen in time.
-  That was what made Soujyuro's tragedy possible.
+  The best environment to achieve a goal was one in which all elements extraneous to that goal had been removed.
+  As long as the people involved had no concept of morality, they would consider the immoral to be correct.
+  No; even "correctness" would be a foreign concept.
+  Only one thing was for sure:
+ the world Soujyuro had come from was frozen in time.
+  That was what made his tragedy possible.
   A world of wrongdoing and mistakes
       had created a human riddled with
         mistakes as well.
   Soujyuro understood that it was wrong, and yet he still thought it beautiful even now.
   Regardless of what the truth behind it might have been, he considered that world perfect.
   He only blamed himself for having learned what existed outside that world.
-  He himself had said he could still be living there happily.
+  Just earlier, he'd said that he would have been happier.
 "If I'd never learned about the outside world, I would've stayed there forever."
   He surely felt the weight of the sinful words he spoke more deeply than anyone else.
   That's why he still wondered:
@@ -19280,11 +19280,11 @@
   Whose fault was it, really?
   He did not want to answer these questions alone. He wanted her to state it clearly for him.
   There was a moment of silence that felt like an eternity before she spoke.
-"I can't answer those questions for you."
+"...I can't answer those questions for you."
   Her reply came quietly.
-  It was not that she did not have an answer; it was that she could not tell him.
-  It was a struggle for her to tell such a bold-faced lie.
-  He reflected deeply on what she said.
+  She had an answer, but she couldn't tell him―
+  it was a struggle for her to tell such a bold-faced lie.
+  The boy reflected deeply on what she said.
   He knew right away that her words were coming from a place of kindness.
 "Yeah, I understand.
  Now I can appreciate your kindness during those early days."
@@ -19302,10 +19302,10 @@
   Only a few minutes remained until their path came to an end.
   Surrounded by a wooden fence, the house resembled an inn for passing travelers in winter.
   The light spilling out from the window brought to mind images of a lively dinner table, quite the opposite of the current mood between the two.
-"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked such prying questions."
+"Sorry. I shouldn't have pried."
   Aoko stopped at the entrance to the yard.
-  She had felt compelled to apologize even though it was the last time they would speak. Or perhaps because it was the last time.
-  Soujyuro's only response was to shrug it off as if it were no problem.
+  Did she feel compelled to apologize despite―no, because it was their last conversation?
+  Soujyuro's only response was to shrug it off.
 "There's still a lot to talk about."
   He looked up at the house they had hiked so far to reach, his breath hanging white in the air.
   All signs of gloom were gone from Soujyuro's face as he nodded.
@@ -19316,7 +19316,7 @@
   He was his usual, nonchalant self, the same as every other day.
   Aoko prayed that day would never come.
   For her own peace of mind, but also for the wellbeing of this very unique boy.
-"I suppose there probably won't be a next time."
+(There probably won't be a next time.)
   Then she pointed in the direction of a cave hidden by a small forest on the other side of the house.
 "My grandfather's in the cave over there, so you should go see him.
   I actually wanted to ask about something else, but whatever. The spell will wear off at midnight anyway, right?"
@@ -19345,15 +19345,15 @@
   It was the kind of brilliance only possessed by humans.
   She pulled her eyes back down from the starry sky and began to walk.
   The lights were on inside the entrance and the door was unlocked.
-  Aoko rolled up her sleeves and checked the time-one hour left till midnight.
+  Aoko rolled up her sleeves and checked the time―one hour left until midnight.
   She had just barely managed to satisfy her parents' request to visit before the end of the year.
   Placing her hand on the door, she took a deep breath.
   She promptly stifled the faint affection and sadness she had been feeling.
   It was her first time back in two years.
-  Upon entering high school, she had begun living on her own, hence the past two years away from home.
-  And how they flew by. For some reason, the memories began to race through her mind.
+  Upon entering high school two years ago, she had begun living on her own.
+  How time flew by. For some reason, the memories began to race through her mind.
   There she stood, one hand on the door, reflecting on the past.
-  Once the door was open she would be staring at her future instead.
+  Once the door was open, she would be staring at her future instead.
   Her hand holding the doorknob began to move.
   She was met with the warm scene she expected, though strangely different than that of her memories.
   It was comforting to encounter something familiar after being away for so long.
@@ -19368,7 +19368,7 @@
   As far as he could tell, the figure did not seem to have anything in the way of a face capable of making expressions.
   All he knew was that the smoke-like figure before him was the one Aoko called "Grandfather."
 "I want to thank you for everything you did for my girls."
-  Though hoarse, the old man's voice was powerful and it rung throughout the cavern.
+  Though hoarse, the old man's voice was powerful and rang throughout the cavern.
 "It was fate that we would meet. Tell me, what is it you wish for?"
 "I don't wish for anything. But there is something I'd like to ask you.
   Why are you making those two fight each other?"
@@ -19379,12 +19379,12 @@
   You value a spirit of coexistence even when you can see that it would harm you. But the girls chose not to follow that path."
 "So you're putting the blame on them. Even though the reasons for their fighting all lead back to you."
 "Indeed. The girls' fighting is a reflection of their lives. I take zero responsibility for the reasons for which they do it."
-"As in there's zero physical proof of your involvement?"
+"You mean there's zero physical proof of your involvement?"
 "No. The claim is simply meaningless.
-  When the girls were born-the only real line of causality you can draw between us-I had already left the scene of this era. Everything occurring since was born from the girls themselves. I played no intervening role."
+  When the girls were born―the only real line of causality you can draw between us―I had already left this era. They have given rise to all events since. I played no intervening role."
 "If either of them reaches the end of their time in this realm, or even if they both do, it matters not to me.
   In fact, I have never considered that to be of importance.
-  A life-a title deserving the value I can offer has not yet come to be.
+  A life―a title deserving the value I can offer has not yet come to be.
   Whatever may happen between the two of them, it doesn't change what I have to do."
 "You mean all you care about is getting your heir, no matter whether Aoko lives or dies?"
 "In a manner of speaking, yes. That's why my body has yet to disappear."
@@ -19397,19 +19397,19 @@
   There was nothing but silence.
 However, this short moment of quiet would occur only once.
   The unreadable outline of the old man grew blurrier still.
-  Long, long ago...
-  An unfortunate child once wandered into the cave.
-  The old man automatically granted its request born from purity and ignorance.
+  Long ago...
+  a child wandered into the cave, her karma empty.
+  The old man automatically granted her request born from innocence and ignorance.
   He was a Magician who had given up his ego in order to extend his own lifespan, and he did whatever he could to help the child.
   It had been an incredible coincidence to happen that day.
-  The child glared at the old man with tear-filled eyes at the sight of all the horrible things that had been brought about.
-  Everything will be lost, completely and without any warning, all because of the failure of a nobody like you.
+  Faced with the sin that she had invited, the child had glared at the old man with tear-filled eyes.
+  "Everything will be lost. It will happen, completely and without warning, thanks to the failure of a nobody―thanks to you," he had declared.
   The child threw a tantrum at how unfair it all was.
   The Magician claimed that was merely the way of the world. 
-The child stood up to him. "Shut up, old man."
+  The child stood up to him. "Shut up, old man."
   And then...
-  Yes, just at that moment...
-  The child ran around in tears trying to make the old man pay for the cost of a life, the cost of all the lives.
+  Yes, and then,
+  the child ran around in tears trying to make the old man pay for the cost of a life, at the cost of all lives.
 "You're mistaken, boy."
   Perhaps that's how it happened.
 "She didn't throw anything away.
@@ -19418,7 +19418,7 @@
   The old man's appearance seemed to change before Soujyuro's eyes.
   For just a brief moment, he wavered in the air as if in a haze.
 "Let me correct your error. The girls understand me very well. In fact, I think they understand me better than I do myself.
-  I am not concerned with who they are, and likewise they don't appreciate who or what I am.
+  I am not concerned with who they are, and likewise, they don't appreciate who I am.
   I doubt thoughts of my absence have ever crossed their minds."
 "They've always been so proud in all their fighting, unwilling to debase themselves.
 It's cruel to expect you to deal with all that, though.
@@ -19427,20 +19427,20 @@
   What is your name?"
   Soujyuro answered the old man's question.
   The smoky face seemed to frown, quivering ever so slightly.
-"How unexpected. You say you're all alone, and yet the meaning of your name implies the existence of multiple, bearing the character for "ten."
+"How unexpected. You say you're all alone, and yet the meaning of your name implies the existence of multiple, bearing the character for 'ten.'
   It doesn't suit you. No, not at all.
   But I think it is correct. When in a place of imbalance, one needs an imbalanced name to match.
   Rare, yes, but also worthless.
   Resigning oneself to affirmation stems from a will to die. A one-time talent in a single generation means nothing if there is no one to continue the family line."
-"I was interested in the way you were able to influence Aoko... but ultimately you did not meet expectations.
+"I was interested in the way you were able to influence Aoko... but ultimately, you did not meet expectations.
   It seems the time was spent for nothing.
   You are bound together for the time being, but it is inevitable that you will go your separate ways.
-  Now begone.
+  Now, begone.
   I have no use for the dead. We will not meet again."
   Everything grew blurry.
   Soujyuro's memories began to fade.
-  It had been a conversation without any answers.
-  An encounter without any significance, now vanished completely like a dream.
+  It had been a conversation without any answers...
+  an encounter without any significance, now vanished completely like a dream.
   The air was cold, the sky beautiful.
   The evening sky at the end of each day looked different from the last.
   Each sunset could be seen for one day, and one day only.
@@ -19489,7 +19489,7 @@
   Suddenly Soujyuro blurted out the strangest thing without thinking.
 "We should pick up some mochi for Alice on the way back."
   Aoko's eyes grew wide, her pupils reduced to mere points.
-  Aoko had so many questions going round in her head she wanted to rail at the paradox that was Soujyuro.
+  Aoko had so many questions going around in her head she wanted to rail at the paradox that was Soujyuro.
 "Mochi? Why?"
 "As a gift. We left her all alone at the mansion, we should do something nice for her. It'll make her happy."
   Aoko raised her hand to her head in concern.
@@ -19525,7 +19525,7 @@
 Aozaki?"
   He spoke without looking down from the heavens.
 "I've been meaning to ask, do you have anything you regret?"
-  Hands jammed in his pockets, his breath was white in the night air.
+  Soujyuro's breath was white in the night air, his hands jammed in his pockets.
   Aoko had the vague feeling somewhere deep inside that he was only a figment of her imagination.
 "Where did that question come from?"
 "Just answer it. I want to know.
@@ -19536,9 +19536,9 @@
 "Regrets? Of course not. I make a point to live my life with no regrets.
   Regrets aren't something you have, Soujyuro. They're something you get rid of."
 "..."
-  Soujyuro did not express any form of disagreement.
-  Instead he bit his lip and pushed down the flood of emotions that rose up inside him.
-  He waved those formless, odorless forms with a small gesture of his hand still at his side.
+  Soujyuro grunted in response.
+  He bit his lip and pushed down the flood of emotions that rose up inside him.
+  He waved his hand slightly without actually raising it, as if to shoo away something formless and odorless.
 "So regrets are just something to get rid of, huh?"
   Pain was subtly visible on his face as he spoke.
   And yet it was so vivid.
@@ -20249,7 +20249,7 @@
 product with the first-edition bonuses
 that would stay on the market forever.
       Bwahaha! So the new phrase would be
-      "'special first standard edition!"
+      "special first standard edition!"
       No. You'd get "bargain bin."
                   Ack!
       Ahem.
@@ -20466,7 +20466,7 @@
           From the bottom of our hearts,
           thank you for sharing this long journey with us.
   It had been one year since he'd moved into the city from his remote village.
-  One thing he realized during that time is that likes and dislikes were the main difference between human and beast.
+  One thing he realized during that time was that likes and dislikes were the main difference between human and beast.
 "So this is the new hideout, huh?
   Not bad, I guess. It's a bit shabby, but I like how there are no people around."
   The figure dressed in a white coat danced to and fro down the hallway.
@@ -20479,9 +20479,9 @@
   Not a single feather's worth of his seventy-pound body was exerting any force on the floor beneath him.
   It wasn't clear whether he was paying reverence to the hallway or simply excited by it.
   It's said that even walking through a grassy field, a beast is careful not to harm a single blade of grass.
-  Apparently this creature wrapped in a coat was no different.
+  Apparently, this creature wrapped in a coat was no different.
   He was more a part of the environment itself than a settler of it.
-  He held no regard beasts for greater or lesser than him, but when it came to his comrades he at least displayed human-like-or rather, wolf-like clemency.
+  He held no regard for beasts greater or lesser than him, but when it came to his comrades, he at least displayed human-like--or rather, wolf-like clemency.
 "Well, I'm glad you at least like the place.
   I'm going into town. Do you need anything? Comics? Books?"
 "Hmm, nothing especially.
@@ -20512,7 +20512,7 @@
   When he had to be human, his only condition was that he could look however he wanted.
   He was currently only in this form because they had to move from the town to the old school building. Once he found a classroom to sleep in, he'd be back to a wolf.
 "Why do you hate being in human form so much anyway? It's not particularly difficult to stay like that, is it? Aren't you originally an astral body?"
-  Being an extremely versatile lifeform which required no body to stabilize him 
+  Being an extremely versatile lifeform which required no body to remain stable
   in the physical world, his body could change according to the situation.
   Magecraft would have defined him as a higher-dimensional lifeform with a materialized soul.
 "It's not hard or dangerous. Just annoying.
@@ -20552,7 +20552,7 @@
   Beo accepted the terms of her contract, and left his village.
   He took his first steps into the outside world.
   The first year was spent at Touko's workshop in England, learning basic knowledge.
-Namely, it was at college of the Mage's Association, called the Clock Tower.
+  Namely, it was at a college of the Mage's Association, called the Clock Tower.
   At the time, Touko had her own dedicated familiar.
   Formally speaking, this familiar was Beo's senior,
   but in that year's time, Beo proved himself superior and earned the right to travel the world with Touko.
@@ -20572,7 +20572,7 @@
 "So, is this the person you want to kill, Touko?"
   However, the mage would always smile wryly and shake her head in response.
   Even this puppet master of extraordinary talent claimed that it was no easy task.
-  Her target was in a realm far beyond anyone they'd dealt with so far-
+  Her target was in a realm far beyond anyone they'd dealt with so far--
   beyond human knowledge. Perhaps, beyond even Beo.
   But who could this mysterious person be? And how could they be so powerful?
   Beo couldn't help but be curious.
@@ -20587,7 +20587,7 @@
 "Touko, I just think you're obsessed.
   You can literally do anything you want, just like me, and yet that's what you focus your energy on?"
   He slumped his shoulders exaggeratedly and closed his eyes.
-  The golden wolf slipped off to sleep, not realizing that his feelings were in fact those of jealousy.
+  The golden wolf drifted off to sleep, not realizing that his feelings were in fact those of jealousy.
 "This place sure has changed in the last four years.
   Did they really need to tear down and rebuild the entire front of the station? And... ah, yep. That smoke shop on the corner is gone.
   Oh, well. Guess I'll have to get used to the idea of buying cigarettes from a vending machine."
@@ -20657,7 +20657,7 @@
   With her winning tickets in hand, Touko left the pachinko parlor.
   She had won quite a bit, but it was hard for her to feel good about it after what had happened at the end of her session.
   Wondering what that had been about, she looped around the back of the parlor to redeem her winnings for cash.
-"Oh, well if it isn't Touko!"
+"Well, if it isn't Touko!"
   She stopped in her tracks, frozen by a familiar voice she hadn't heard in four years.
   Beo's ears perked up as he woke from his slumber.
   It was just before sunset.
@@ -20671,17 +20671,17 @@
 "Hey Beo, I'm back.
   Here's your reward for watching the place while I was out."
   Touko handed the paper bag she was holding to Beo.
-  Beo was happy to get his hands on the bag stuffed full of hamburgers, but he tilted his head at the lingering odd scent.
+  Beo was happy to get his hands on the bag stuffed full of hamburgers, but he tilted his head at the odd lingering scent.
 "Why the long face? Did something happen while I was gone?"
 "No. I slept, it was so boring, actually. Did something happen with you, though?
   You seem a little down, weirdly tired, and stranger than anything is the fact that you bought me my favorite hamburgers."
 "Oh, really? Nothing happened, though."
 "..."
   This was all extremely suspicious.
-  One of the major red flags for Beo was Touko's usual complete lack of interest in food.
+  One pain point for Beo was Touko's usual complete lack of interest in food.
   Touko thought that a hamburger was the same no matter where you ate one, so she had often just stopped at wherever was closest.
   Thus, Touko would only stop at a certain Asian burger chain, still rare in Japan, maybe one percent of the time. Not to mention...
-"W-What's the big deal?
+"W-what's the big deal?
   So I bought you hamburgers from your favorite place, who cares?"
 "I was just trying to say thank you for everything.
   I've dragged you around all over the place, and I just hope you'll stick with me."
@@ -20726,7 +20726,7 @@
 "'Eyyy, good work! Huh? I shmell like booze? Oh silly, I'm not drunk at all! Not one... not one bit... I can keep goin'!"
   This is what Touko had become.
   The mage was constantly out and always in a good mood, in stark contrast to Beo, who spent his days doing nothing.
-  Evidently she was happy with how her workshop was becoming more and more fortified by the day.
+  Evidently, she was happy with how her workshop was becoming more and more fortified by the day.
 "No. That's DEFINITELY not it.
   That isn't enough to put Miss Touko in such a good mood.
   She's constantly complaining about the state of this place.
@@ -20734,7 +20734,7 @@
 "Hm? What's wrong, Beo? You look unhappy. I bet you're ready to get out of here and go wild, huh?"
 "That's not the problem here.
   ...I do want to hurry up and get this fight on, but I know it's not going to be for a while yet. I'm just waiting and doing as you ask.
-  Buuut..."
+  But..."
 "But?"
 "Something's... weird. I know there's always nothing to do when we're preparing, but this time it doesn't feel tense the way it should.
   I'm just eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping, every day. It's going to make me fat. I don't want to be fat!"
@@ -20796,7 +20796,7 @@
   Touko came out of the house after about thirty minutes.
   She stretched her arms above her head and took a deep breath. Whatever had gone on inside seemed to have been rather serious.
   It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
-"That takes care of those negotiations at least.
+"That takes care of those negotiations, at least.
   Now all that's left is a final reminder..."
   Touko murmured, exasperated.
   But lurking behind her words, Beo could still detect that lofty scent emanating from her mouth.
@@ -20917,7 +20917,7 @@
   There was one other beautiful person, one who had taught Touko.
 "I'm sure she's probably got that handled, though.
   She's not one to overlook something like that."
-"Toko really should learn to be more cold toward her enemies, though. She's too soft on them-thinks too much of their human rights.
+"Toko really should learn to be colder toward her enemies, though. She's too soft on them--thinks too much of their human rights.
 I don't know how I feel about her showing her face to a person she's decided to kill."
   Touko was a researcher more than she was a mage. Generally, she wasn't a fighter.
   She was cruel, but not cold.
@@ -20933,7 +20933,7 @@
   Beo wasn't sure which side was her true self, but he did know that she was much more serious and cruel without her glasses.
   It wasn't quite to the level of a split personality... more like a reordering of priorities. She mainly took off her glasses when she was about to fight someone.
   Doing so made her less human. It pushed all sense of compromise, concern, and sympathy out of her brain.
-(That must mean the scent getting closer is of her enemy... I think..."
+(That must mean the scent getting closer is of her enemy... I think...)
   Beo furrowed his brow as he hid behind a tree.
   He could certainly smell hostility and anticipation emanating from Touko.
   But at the same time, he couldn't help but scrunch his nose up at the strange scent that kept getting stronger.
@@ -20967,7 +20967,7 @@
   No matter how many times he said he wanted to resolve this peacefully, she would bet her pride that he didn't mean it.
 "See, this is what happens when one goes out, experiences the world, and returns to their home. I would have liked it if you had worked on your personal charm, instead.
   Oh come on, don't glare at me like that. I'm getting to the point."
-"I am entrusted with all reports to the Church. My report is now, 'The Second Owner is currently in battle with a heretic. I am monitoring them under my authority as priest, in accordance with the neutrality agreement. The affiliation of the heretic is unknown, and I am investigating their history.'"
+"I am entrusted with all reports to the Church. My report is now, 'The Second Owner is currently battling a heretic. I am monitoring them under my clerical authority, in accordance with the neutrality pact. The affiliation of the heretic is unknown, and I am investigating their history.'"
 "So you're telling me that the Church is still unaware of the affiliation of the mage who's appeared in town?"
 "Right. Sister Yuika reports to a different jurisdiction from my own, but she has not even seen the heretic, let alone uncovered their workshop.
   There will most likely be no interference from the Church until she is able to reveal who our enemy is.
@@ -20976,7 +20976,7 @@
   As long as you're the only one who knows that I'm back in town, I'll lay low. I also won't get in contact with any of my blood relatives."
 "Very well. I know you're not the type to sabotage things indiscriminately, and that you prefer to do things as efficiently as possible.
   You might get carried away and try to make your secret hideout in some factory or office building somewhere, right?
-  I won't allow bloodshed to continue on my watch of this jurisdiction, or anything else that might hurt my reputation."
+  I won't allow the bloodshed in this parish to continue on my watch--or anything else that might sully my reputation."
   Touko had to resist the urge to object and ask just what kind of person he thought she was.
   She did hate wastefulness, but she wasn't about to entirely abandon society and its norms just for the sake of doing things optimally.
   Besides, criminal activities were always a pain to clean up later and thus far more inefficient.
@@ -21012,7 +21012,7 @@
   Most people want to be happier than those around them."
   The holy man smiled calmly, wrapped in his shadowy black clothing.
   Touko remembered clearly now.
-  This was a man who actually didn't believe in the true concept of happiness.
+  This was a man who actually didn't believe in the concept of true happiness.
 "Come now, calm yourself. If you try anything, Sister Yuika will be here in a flash.
   I know that your idea of happiness is not relative. You were always the type to be satisfied as long as you stayed true to yourself.
   The only Aozaki I know who has a relative definition of happiness is..."
@@ -21021,8 +21021,8 @@
   Although he was reluctant to part on such ill terms, Eiri knew it was best not to anger Touko any further.
 "I've said too much. Please forgive me, puppet master.
   I will take my leave now. I pray that you will see a good outcome in your endeavors."
-"Good. Get lost. Your gloomy and dismal act isn't helping my mood.
-  ...What's up with your outfit anyway? Don't people avoid you wearing a cloak like that around town?"
+"Good. Get lost. Your gloomy act isn't helping my mood.
+  ...What's up with your outfit anyway? Doesn't wearing that cloak around town make people avoid you?"
 "Everyone is very much used to it by now.
   Besides, how else can I carry a weapon without people noticing?
   I'm sure it was glaringly obvious to you, but I have about three on me right now."
@@ -21044,9 +21044,9 @@
 "What have you done?! Why did you just kill him like that?!"
 "Because I thought I could."
   Eiri could not fathom how much this curt response would affect such a young Touko.
-He had not meant to say,
+  He had not meant to say,
   "My opponent showed a moment of weakness, and I knew I could win, so I took the opportunity."
-All he meant was...
+  All he meant was...
   "I felt capable of killing him, so I did."
   This man had become her grandfather's disciple, forged an unrivaled friendship with him, and yet had still mercilessly cut him down when the desire arose.
   He possessed some sort of superhuman ability that had allowed him to destroy the mortal vessel of a mage who had been infinitely close to being a Magician.
@@ -21081,11 +21081,11 @@
   Although it was a proper stepladder they used for cleaning the church windows and weighed too much to be carried by even two strong adults, the mass didn't seem to faze her.
 "The desolation of the hearts and minds of our flock is a concern, but we also mustn't forget the increasing costs of living. There are whispers of an impending sales tax, and Father Eiri must be convinced of the great results we can achieve in a single day if we hold more wedding ceremonies.
   He'll go out of his way to help anyone and everyone but won't think about the work that comes after that. What is he going to do about all those stray cats in the back garden? Ah, right, that and any other physical labor always falls to me, doesn't it?"
-  This nun mumbling to herself at a near constant pace was Sister Yuika Suse.
+  This nun mumbling to herself at a near-constant pace was Sister Yuika Suse.
   There was a reason for her unusual behavior.
   Yuika was completely blind and had honed her other senses to keenly perceive her surroundings.
   She was extremely sensitive to the presence of living creatures, particularly humans, and could detect when someone was within a radius of thirty feet.
-  The reason why she was talking to herself so openly now was because she did not sense anyone was near.
+  She could talk to herself so openly now because she did not sense anyone nearby.
 "Let's see... What leftover food do we have? Ah, there's that set of assorted jams we received as a gift.
   What shall we do, my Lord? Can a cat eat two-day-old bread that's rock hard? Ritsuka was clear about not giving them onions, if I remember correctly..."
   Sister Yuika was busy putting away the cleaning tools while simultaneously trying to prepare dinner for the hungry animals mewing in the back garden.
@@ -21101,7 +21101,7 @@
   He could smell the scent of the man in black ahead, further inside.
   Beo thought little of humans, and in this moment Sister Yuika was simply an obstacle.
   So naturally, he ignored her warnings and attempted to push through the gate.
-"...Hm? W-What is this color?
+"...Hm? W-what is this color?
   This dog is a most unusual color... Perhaps it's a rare exotic breed, in which case..."
   He might be some wealthy person's pet.
   Since the dog came to the church, its rich owner might also attend church services...
@@ -21120,11 +21120,11 @@
   Beo was known to let curiosity get the best of him.
   Even if it was poisoned, no poison of the natural world could harm him.
   He lapped up a mouthful.
-(...Wh-What...)
+(...W-what...)
   He lapped up a little more.
 (...is this...)
   He lapped up even more.
-(...flavor?!)
+(...flavor!?)
   He lapped up more and more.
 "My, my! You're lapping that up like it was milk!
   I think I might actually like you, even though you are a dog."
@@ -21181,7 +21181,7 @@
   There's no reason for you to know about such things."
 "Why wouldn't I? It's a word all creatures are familiar with.
   ...Granted, I never thought of you as a normal creature, so I'm a little surprised myself.
-  Anyway, who is that plain, potato-head looking guy anyway?"
+  Anyway, who is that plain, potato-looking male anyway?"
   Beo was suddenly irritated.
   He was irritated, but he couldn't figure out why.
 "He's literally nothing. To me, anyway. Your assessment is correct. He isn't worth thinking about, and he's not even good enough for you to eat."
@@ -21192,7 +21192,7 @@
 "It's just when you think you can make a relationship like it was in the past.
   I mean, I guess there was a slight chance of that happening. He was my first love, after all."
 "Huh?"
-  Beo had no firsthand experience with love, but he at least understood the concept of a first love.
+  Beo had no firsthand experience with love, but he at least understood the concept of first love.
 "YOU had a first love?!"
 "...I'm not sure why you think a mate is more believable than a first love.
   It was a long time ago. I was still a teenager, and he had just started studying under my grandfather. He wasn't studying magecraft. He was just training under him to hone his mind."
@@ -21201,7 +21201,7 @@
 "Miss Touko... do you still like him?"
 "No. I was surprised at how little I felt for him.
   There's just this remnant of my adolescence there. Just talking to people I know from that time takes me back, you know?
-  I'm not attracted to him at all anymore as a person. But when I talk to him, I can remember that past version of myself so clearly it makes me want to smile."
+  I'm not attracted to him at all anymore as a person. But when I talk to him, I can remember that past version of myself so clearly it makes me want to laugh."
   Beo grew only more confused as Touko spoke with such passion.
   He couldn't wrap his head around the concept that she hated him yet somehow also still liked him.
 "I don't get it."
@@ -21209,7 +21209,7 @@
 "I do too have likes and dislikes!
   There are certain foods that I like more than others, you know!"
 "You only work on the standard of whether something is useful or not.
-  Wild animals only uses taste as a sensor to measure how nutritious something is.
+  Wild animals only use taste as a sensor to measure how nutritious something is.
   Only humans eat for reasons other than pure nutritional value.
   Some of the food we like doesn't help sustain us. We eat what we eat because we enjoy it. That's also why things we like look sweet."
 "Things you like look sweet?"
@@ -21267,13 +21267,13 @@
   As he stumbled over his words, Beo patted his chest a few times and remembered the pain he had felt.
 "Ehehe. How do I put this...?
   It's like... when I'm here, I think I can understand what sweet really means."
-  The wolf who had learned to accept being wasteful expressed his future goal in a happy voice.
+  The wolf who had learned to accept being wasteful expressed his future goal, a vague hint of delight in his voice.
   Thus concluded an exceptionally rare case of first love, sweet as honey.
   Aozaki was waiting in the east wing.
 "Sorry. Did I keep you long?"
 "No. Not like I have anything else to do anyway.
   Let's head inside. I think you know most of the guests, but we should still introduce you."
-  That's Aoko for you. Always likes to do things properly.
+  That's Aozaki for you. Always likes to do things properly.
   With her characteristic sincerity on full display, she turned the doorknob.
   The moment I entered, I had to stop myself from jumping out of my skin.
   The parlor was cozy compared to the lobby, but I didn't have time to appreciate it.
@@ -21286,17 +21286,17 @@
   Come to think of it, he was acquainted with Aozaki and Sizuki, so it made sense he'd be at this birthday party.
   It did make sense... right?
 "Hey. What's Tsukiji doing here?"
-"Oh, didn't I say he was coming?"
+"Oh, didn't I say he was coming?
   Should I have let you know if he was going to show up?"
 "I... don't exactly have a problem with him."
 "So what's the issue? We see each other every day at the student council, don't we?"
 "Well, we're not in school. And, well... I'm in my regular clothes."
-  Aozaki gave me a look that said "and...?"
+  Aozaki gave me a look that said, "and...?"
   Of course there was a problem.
   Could you blame me for hiding it? To be frank, I had a crush on Tobimaru Tsukiji.
   I'd felt this way for three years.
   Three whole years, and I still hadn't said anything. I knew it was spineless of me.
-  This might not mean much coming from me, but I didn't always used to be a coward.
+  This might not mean much coming from me, but I wasn't always a coward.
   During my freshman year, I was only vaguely aware of him as Aozaki's coworker.
   I only really became aware of my feelings during my second year.
   He spoke to me often, maybe because he trusted me as Aozaki's friend.
@@ -21325,7 +21325,7 @@
   I didn't know if Tsukiji had a girlfriend, but I was sure I had a chance if I asked him out.
   But... but...
   Giving in felt like throwing away everything I'd fought for so far.
-  Ever since I was a kid, I'd planned ahead. I used to look down on classmates who were obsessed by childish dreams and romance.
+  Ever since I was a kid, I'd planned ahead. I used to look down on classmates who were obsessed with childish dreams and romance.
   And now, here I was, actually willing to give up six long years of hard work for the dumbest of reasons.
   That wasn't me. That wasn't the Kojika Kumari I was trying to become.
 "Earth to Kuma. You okay there?"
@@ -21343,10 +21343,10 @@
   Chatting nearby were 
 Housuke and 
 Housuke and
-Mr. Yamasiro-didn't expect to see him here.
+Mr. Yamasiro--didn't expect to see him here.
 "Ah, so those were oak trees in the backyard. We have 'nara' trees here in Japan, but hmm... I don't remember them looking like yours.
   It must be a unique species. Japanese and British oaks look very different, and I understand that there are some four hundred or more species of oak."
-"He's just dronin' on about the stuff he likes, as if anyone else actually cares. Fair warning, Alice-he's the kind of teacher who doesn't give a damn what students think, so you're better off ignoring him.
+"He's just dronin' on about the stuff he likes, as if anyone else actually cares. Fair warning, Alice--he's the kind of teacher who doesn't give a damn what students think, so you're better off ignoring him.
   Never mind that. Want to do anything over winter break?
   You don't seem like much of a skier. I could teach you how, if you want."
 "Can't either of you talk about something interesting for once?
@@ -21392,7 +21392,7 @@
   I didn't know his full name, nor had he ever formally introduced himself.
   Tsukiji, Aozaki, and Sizuki all called him Beo, so I just followed their lead.
   He seemed to be fond of Sizuki. Whenever he had a chance, you'd hear him go,
-"Soujyuro, I want to go to a theme park the next time you're on break"
+"Soujyuro, I want to go to a theme park the next time you're on break."
 "Soujyuro, are you hungry? Let's go out for lunch!"
 "Soujyuro, could you pat me on the head? No real reason, I just want you to."
   And so on. He clung to him like a cat to a curtain.
@@ -21414,7 +21414,7 @@
   as described.
   It was unoccupied.
   I checked to make sure I was alone, then put down my luggage and stowed my wallet in a pocket.
-  I considered keeping my favorite bunny-shaped commuter pass-and lucky charm-with me, but all it contained was a yearly school festival photo anyway. I left it on the table.
+  I considered keeping my favorite bunny-shaped commuter pass--and lucky charm--with me, but all it contained was a yearly school festival photo anyway. I left it on the table.
   I was going to be spending the night in an unfamiliar building. It was best to travel light.
 "Where's that key...? Oh, here it is."
   It was a brass key, with an old-fashioned and elaborate design that perfectly complemented the mansion's European theme.
@@ -21428,12 +21428,12 @@
   It was a little concerning, but it would've been rude to wander around the house without greeting the owner first.
   I headed for the east wing drawing room, where laughter was ringing from within.
   I decided to do something completely meaningless.
-  Honestly, I didn't mean anything by it. It wasn't even a sudden idea-just a whim, a flight of fancy.
+  Honestly, I didn't mean anything by it. It wasn't even a sudden idea―just a whim, a flight of fancy.
 "I think I dropped something. I'm going to go look outside, so head on to the drawing room without me."
 "You're going outside? I'll come with you."
 "Aw c'mon. Kojika's the klutz, so let her deal with it herself.
   You should come with me, prez. I won't know what to talk with Alice about if you aren't there."
-"Huh? But I shouldn't let Kuma go by her-"
+"Huh? But I shouldn't let Kuma go by her―"
 "Would you mind taking us to the drawing room first, Aozaki? It's a little chilly here in the foyer."
 "But I really shouldn't leave a guest alone."
 "It's fine, really. I'll be back before you know it.
@@ -21457,9 +21457,9 @@
   The leaves crinkled and crunched as my heels trampled them
   during my hasty retreat.
   The woman watched me with amusement, as if observing a small animal.
-"I didn't expect much from their guests, but how mistaken I was! Here you are, feast for my eyes!
+"I didn't expect much from their guests, but how mistaken I was! Here you are, a feast for my eyes!
   I have to say, Aoko might actually have some taste after all. This will make things much more interesting."
-  The way she looked at me was a little- no, *incredibly* off-putting.
+  The way she looked at me was a little―no, *incredibly* off-putting.
   Where are the police when you need them?
 "No need to be alarmed. I'm a guest just like you. Let's be friends.
   To be frank, I didn't expect anyone else to be checking out the lay of the land, before things *go down*.
@@ -21473,7 +21473,7 @@
   I'd kept Aozaki waiting long enough.
   Picking up my luggage, I made my way over.
   ...Something clearly wasn't right.
-  I recalled this place's reputation as a haunted mansion, but firmly resolved to put that out of mind. Still, if I was going to explore, it was best not to go alone.
+  I recalled this place's reputation as a haunted mansion, but firmly resolved to put that out of my mind. Still, if I was going to explore, it was best not to go alone.
   Returning to the foyer, I could hear laughter coming from the east wing drawing room, to my right.
   I picked up my luggage and made my way over.
 "Oh, dear."
@@ -21489,7 +21489,7 @@
 "Good old Tokie. Grandiose even in death."
 "I'm in the mood for barbeque now."
 "Hey, was the room locked?"
-"No, Soujyuro's room-I mean, the attic doesn't have a lock. Anyone can come in."
+"No, Soujyuro's room―I mean, the attic doesn't have a lock. Anyone can come in."
 "Well, shit. Looks like an explosion killed him.
   I don't see any source of the combustion, though... did Yurihiko like playing with explosives? I wouldn't put it past an artist."
 "Let's all just calm down. I think this was premeditated. This is a crime scene."
@@ -21537,7 +21537,7 @@
   At this point, we were in the midst of a full-blown storm.
   We'd all come on foot, so it would be risky to go back down the mountain in this weather.
   However, Father Eiri hadn't stopped Sizuki for his own safety.
-  If someone wondered off by themselves, those left behind would be in a precarious position.
+  If someone wandered off by themselves, those left behind would be in a precarious position.
   For instance, it would be easy to destroy evidence without any witnesses around.
 "For now, let's all head to the drawing room.
   We should talk over what happened until we can call the police."
@@ -21550,8 +21550,8 @@
   With my mind in a haze, I...
 -Decision F-
   We began a manhunt for Mr. Yamasiro.
-  Once we'd separated into groups to scour the mansion, Ritsuka, in charge of the second floor guest rooms, called us together.
-"This is Mr. Yamasiro's room. Is it locked?
+  Once we'd separated into groups to scour the mansion, Ritsuka, in charge of the second-floor guest rooms, called us together.
+"This is Mr. Yamasiro's room. Is it locked?"
 "No, it's not. When he wasn't inside, I took a peek inside,
  and, well..."
   Ritsuka trailed off.
@@ -21586,7 +21586,7 @@
   Usually, Father Eiri was the one leading the discussion, but now that he was silent, maybe Tsukiji felt he had to step up.
 "What's gotten into you, Tobimaru? You're normally more direct than this.
   Where are you going with all this?"
-"Oh, it's just that aside from Kuonji and the people from the Church, you, Kumari and I all knew Mr. Yamasiro well.
+"Oh, it's just that aside from Kuonji and the people from the Church, you, Kumari, and I all knew Mr. Yamasiro well.
   That blockhead wasn't the kind of guy to give you a big belly laugh at your jokes."
   He was right.
   Mr. Yamasiro smiled a lot and was easygoing, but he was neutral to a fault. He never responded strongly to people's opinions, almost to the point of utter indifference.
@@ -21625,17 +21625,17 @@
   So once Sweets Hearts is activated, it'll be in human form."
 "So, basically you're saying a person gets swapped with an imposter, right?"
 "Let me correct myself. Only Tobimaru isn't a complete idiot.
-  That's right. Sweets Hearts is a Ploy that transforms into its user. A perfect replica- so perfect, it doesn't realize what it is."
+  That's right. Sweets Hearts is a Ploy that transforms into its user. A perfect replica―so perfect, it doesn't realize what it is."
 "Too perfect, you could say.
   No matter how much you question or torture the suspect, without objective, absolute proof, they won't be exposed.
-  Once evidence is presented to them, they finally realize that they are Sweetheart."
+  Once evidence is presented to them, they finally realize that they are the Sweets Hearts in question."
 "Oh my god! It's a classic logic puzzle!
   I can't take it anymore! This is so awesome!"
 "It's said the best spies learn to convince themselves they're not spies, but this... is troublesome."
 "That doesn't sound quite right. The culprit wants us to laugh, no? If they don't know who they are, what would be the point?"
-"Sweetheart and its proxy human can switch on and off.
-  Though normally a perfect doppelganger, Sweets Hearts's own personality can emerge when certain conditions are met.
-  Of course, when it has the personality of its proxy human, it has no memory of being activated."
+"Sweets Hearts and its proxy human can switch on and off.
+  Though normally a perfect doppelganger, its own personality can emerge when certain conditions are met.
+  Of course, when it has the personality of its proxy, it has no memory of being activated."
   What kind of setup was this?
   So, we were dealing with a formless butcher. A murderer with no ill intent.
   That meant the murderer could be anyone... even me!
@@ -21648,7 +21648,7 @@
 Ack!"
 "Wow. Talk about a crazy Ploy.
   I guess all we can do at this point is check everyone's alibis."
-"Right. We might not be able to pin Sweets Hearts, but we might be able figure out who committed the murders."
+"Right. We might not be able to pin Sweets Hearts, but we might be able to figure out who committed the murders."
 "Let's testify one by one. We should go over everything we did today. If anything seems inconsistent, don't hold back.
   I guess I'll start, then."
   No one objected to Tsukiji's initiative.
@@ -21750,7 +21750,7 @@
   Tsukiji and Ritsuka grabbed her arms.
   Sizuki casually helped.
 "Hey, what do you think you're doing?!
-  Y-you're just gonna kill me, because you suspect me?!"
+  Y-you're just gonna kill me because you suspect me!?"
 "Calm down. We're just putting you under quarantine.
   Lock up the suspect and wait for the police. End the madness. That's how mystery stories go.
   So, um, is there a room that locks from the outside somewhere, Allie?"
@@ -21803,7 +21803,7 @@
   Long before the Kuonji Estate was built, this mountain was home to a monster who attacked and killed anyone foolish enough to stray too far from their group.
   The words "attacked and killed" make it sound more humane than "ate."
   It was probably someone who was cast out of their village.
-  Wow, these are some dark thoughts I'm h-
+  Wow, these are some dark thoughts I'm h―
 "Huh?"
   I must have taken a wrong turn.
   I was back behind the Kuonji Estate.
@@ -21818,7 +21818,7 @@
 There wasn't even a breeze.
   Now I remembered why I wanted to go home.
   Yeah.
-  I had a feeling that something bad would happening if I stayed-
+  I had a feeling that something bad would happening if I stayed―
 "Ah..."
   Something... impossible unfolded before my eyes.
   I felt a sudden shock in my stomach.
@@ -21905,10 +21905,10 @@
   Alice accepted the money, so it's mine now, fair and square!
  Mind your own business!"
 "Oh my. Alice sold one of her precious Ploys?"
-"...Haah. I told her over and over again money that money won't solve the problem, but she's a materialistic dog, so she won't return it."
+"...Haah. I told her over and over that it wasn't up for sale, but she's a materialistic dog, so she never returned it."
 "Oh, sweet Alice, still playing coy.
-  That's just a savvy way of pushing me to increase the price!"
-"Hey, Your Highness. That girl's something else. I could wear I've seen her somewhere before. Is she a friend of Alice's?"
+  That was just a savvy sales tactic! Everyone knows 'not for sale' is just code for increasing the price!"
+"Hey, Your Highness. That girl's something else. I could swear I've seen her somewhere before. Is she a friend of Alice's?"
 "You're just imagining things. Forget about it. She's nothing but trouble. All harm, no good."
 "Y-Yeah, you're right. I probably couldn't handle her..."
   Despite whatever Tsukiji was saying, I knew the truth.
@@ -21916,13 +21916,13 @@
   She stayed at Tsukiji's house for a time.
   Apparently, their fathers were business acquaintances.
   Well, I say she stayed with him, but the Tsukiji estate was so large, they were basically in different houses... Or at least, I hope that was the case.
-"I suppose I should ask-
+"I suppose I should ask―
   Riddell. What are you doing here?"
 "What do you mean, Alice? It's your birthday!
   When I called Tobimaru's house, they told me 'the young master is attending a birthday party at Miss Kuonji's house.'
   I couldn't let that slide, so I cancelled my concert at the last minute and flew here."
 "...Do you even remember when my birthday is?"
-"Of course I do! I could forget mine, but I could never forget your-
+"Of course I do! I could forget mine, but I could never forget your―
   Wait a second. It's still autumn here, isn't it?"
 "Glad to see you haven't lost your mind completely.
   I hit your head a little too hard last time, remember?
@@ -21965,7 +21965,7 @@
 Aoko, have you seen Tokie?"
 "He's not here? But he was in charge of the dinner arrangements! He told us we could take it easy, because he'd be arranging some top chefs."
 "That's a bit weird, isn't it? If that was the plan, the chefs would need to arrive by four at the latest in order to make it in time for dinner.
-  Hasn't anybody seen Yurihiko?
+  Hasn't anybody seen Yurihiko?"
 "He was here until noon, but I haven't seen him since."
 "I haven't seen him at all.
   I stepped out a few times, but he wasn't outside, either."
@@ -21985,7 +21985,7 @@
 "WHAT?!?!"
   I feel like something terrible is about to happen.
   I feel like something crazy is about to go down.
-  I know this wasn't the time or place, but I'm glad that Tsukiji and I were paired together.
+  I know this isn't the time or place, but I'm glad that Tsukiji and I were paired together.
 "Things sure have gotten out of hand."
   I silently agreed with Aozaki's muttering.
 "The weather's getting worse, too.
@@ -22023,12 +22023,12 @@
   Miss Kuonji, the mistress of the house, remained silent, her expression pensive.
   That blue robin had gone off somewhere again.
 "Okay, everyone! Enough of that.
-  We're in a wonderful-
+  We're in a wonderful―
 Ahem.
 We're in a tight situation. This is no time to fight among ourselves!
   Mr. Yurihiko Tokitsu has died; the mansion's telephone line is out.
   These two things can't be a coincidence.
-  As such, it's logical to conclude that we are dealing with-"
+  As such, it's logical to conclude that we are dealing with―"
 "Murder... So you're saying whoever killed Mr. Tokitsu made sure that we couldn't contact the police?"
 "Yes! Precisely, Kojika!
   This is a perfect murder case! And the murderer is someone here!
@@ -22099,7 +22099,7 @@
   There were just a few words on the note, scribbled in pink crayon.
             "Why not just live for love?"
 "Huh?"
-  Stupid sweet-brain. Even after you're dead, you're still a pain in the ass.
+  Stupid sweets-brain. Even after you're dead, you're still a pain in the ass.
   Besides, I was too passive to do that. It's how I fell for your trap to begin with.
 (Well, duh!)
   Sweets Hearts's tone was lively, yet strangely encouraging.
@@ -22134,7 +22134,7 @@
 "Hey! Wait, before you go! There's a nun on the floor over there, Your Highness!
   Maybe I can help her get to her feet and be her hero!"
 "Go ahead. All she'll do is knock you out, at worst."
-  Tsukiji sounded like he was enjoying himself. His traveled through the hall.
+  Tsukiji sounded like he was enjoying himself. His voice carried through the hall.
   Dust particles flitted in the air, appearing and disappearing in the rays coming through the skylight.
     (Mm, I guess this could've ended worse!)
   An oddly cheerful voice summed up her honest thoughts.
@@ -22143,7 +22143,7 @@
   Everyone had a choice. To lament the little time one had left,
   or to gamble on it?
   Perhaps we find things beautiful because they don't last.
-  Someday, this would all end. But, not just yet.
+  Someday, this would all end...but not just yet.
   This jolly tale was simply another book to add to the shelf.
   Youth is both fleeting and never-ending.
   The stories of young boys and girls are full of hardships yet unseen.
@@ -22204,12 +22204,12 @@
 "Sorry, Riddell. But it seems Sizuki has something to say to you.
   I'm sure it's quite wonderful, so do listen."
 "Yeah. This might help.
-  Alice assured me you'd be interested. You've helped me time and time again, so it would mean a lot if you would hear me out.
+  Alice assured me you'd be interested. You've helped me time and time again, so it would mean a lot if you would hear me out."
 "F-Fine. I'm listening. Spit it out already."
 "Je t'aime. Je t'aime, mon amour."
 "What...?"
 "Why the hell would you of all people say that?!
-  Soujyuro, Alice is messing with you. Do you even know what you just sai-
+  Soujyuro, Alice is messing with you. Do you even know what you just sai―
  Whuh?!"
 "She vomited blood and collapsed!"
   I rushed over to the girl in pink.
@@ -22245,7 +22245,7 @@
 "So you're saying that a Ploy Kickshaw is active.
   But, if that's so, why hasn't Sister Yuika noticed?"
 "This Ploy has perfect camouflage.
- That and Yuika-"
+ That and Yuika―"
 "Right. I couldn't even attempt to measure the amount of magical energy within the Kuonji Estate. We're inside an enormous Mystic as it is. Measuring the flow of energy became impossible the moment we stepped foot on this mountain."
 "You're right. Do pardon me. I seem to be a bit disoriented."
   Being calm in this situation would be weirder.
@@ -22254,7 +22254,7 @@
   The conversation was starting to leave me in the dust.
 "I have a question. I get that if someone makes you laugh, you die.
   But why are people dying in different ways?
-  Gramps, Riddell, Kinomi-all different. You said something about rules, but is it random?"
+  Gramps, Riddell, Kinomi―all different. You said something about rules, but is it random?"
 "Their deaths relate to their nature."
 "Their nature...? Like their issues, personality, and all that?"
 "Right. Even their hidden idiosyncrasies."
@@ -22265,13 +22265,13 @@
   Knowing her, I expected her to transform into an airplane or a yacht or something."
 "Yeah, yeah! Riddell's all bark no bite! Vomiting claret and dying right then and there is balls! Even worse than Kinomi's death... All icing, no Sexton Blake!"
 "
-W-... 
+W... 
 Watch...
 your...
 beak...!"
 "She's alive!"
 "Don't... 
-under-
+under―
 ungh... 
 underestimate me...
 Stopping my heart...
@@ -22316,7 +22316,7 @@
   The first is to expose the Ploy's user.
   However, we shouldn't point the finger at just anyone.
   If the accuser is mistaken or lacks evidence, they'll be eliminated."
-"The other way is for any player other than the Ploy-even just one person-to survive until the end of the game.
+"The other way is for any player other than the Ploy―even just one person―to survive until the end of the game.
   That's how you 'win' the game and bring all the victims back. Their memories of the game disappear, though."
 "...Well, that takes the pressure off. If we wait until dawn, we'll be fine."
   The sister seemed relieved, but I wasn't. Not by a long shot.
@@ -22331,7 +22331,7 @@
 "Kinomi and Miss Riddell aside, it's possible someone forced Mr. Tokitsu to laugh.
   And remember what Allie said? The user decides the rules. This Ploy didn't start by itself; someone activated it."
 "You mean..."
-"...The culprit is still at large."
+"...The culprit is still at large.
   We still don't know who they are. But seeing as they created the rules, they're probably going to try to make us laugh however they can."
 "They might not even need to go that far, actually.
   I hate to say it, but in mystery novels the guests often end up tearing each other apart out of suspicion."
@@ -22428,7 +22428,7 @@
   He was right. We needed to know when the Ploy was activated.
   If it was me or Mr. Yamasiro, once we arrived at the mansion, we'd have needed to find Sweets Hearts and activate it without knowing what it was.
   Not impossible, but not realistic.
-  That would classify this game as type of murder mystery involving sudden crimes-
+  That would classify this game as type of murder mystery involving sudden crimes―
   the kind of scenario where unexpected tragedies occurred one after another.
   On the other hand, if someone knew about the Ploy and had access to it anytime they wanted, that would make this a premeditated crime.
   There was no need to figure out when the Ploy was found.
@@ -22512,8 +22512,8 @@
   I turned on my side, thoughts racing.
   To me, Tsukiji and Father Eiri were *too* rational. They'd overlooked something.
   I wasn't fixated on the culprit's face or identity.
-  I was more concerned with the whydunit-
-  what did the culprit have to gain by killing us all?
+  I was more concerned with the whydunit.
+  What did the culprit have to gain by killing us all?
   I felt that...
   we needed to dig more into the pink girl's alibi.
 "Huh? You want me to go, too?
@@ -22538,11 +22538,11 @@
   I'll just call my helicopter to come pick me up.
   Don't underestimate the power of my Goblin Nest!"
   The girl in pink stormed out into the hallway.
-"Hello, Daddy? It's me. Can you send a helicopter to Shiroinuzuka in Misaki Town...? Yes, *that* Misaki.
+"Hello, Daddy? It's me. Can you send a helicopter to Shiroinuzuka in Misaki...? Yes, *that* Misaki.
 What?! What do you mean, give up?! Have you gone SENILE, you old codger?! I decided I'd keep trying until victory is mine! And I NEVER lost in the first place! That was just a draw!
   You know the coordinates. Send me a chopper now! You've got ten minutes!"
-"Huh? What do you mean you can't send one in this storm? Do I sound like I care?!
-  Or are you suggesting that I fly myself out of here like a missile?!
+"Huh? What do you mean you can't send one in this storm? Do I sound like I care!?
+  Or are you suggesting that I fly myself out of here like a missile!?
   ...We don't have any helicopters to send? You call yourself a businessman, you dimwit? Use your brain! There's a military base nearby, remember? They're testing a prototype assault craft there. Just charter it!"
 "Goodness, can't you do *anything* on your own?
   WHAT?! What do you mean, cash is tight because you're restructuring?! You'd have to buy the entire aircraft and crew? Go ahead, then! I can make you back that money in a day! I'll just do a private concert for some oil sheikh or a Chinese billionaire! That good enough for you?"
@@ -22584,7 +22584,7 @@
   My real plan is just beginning.
 Hang on, I have to take this. Time out."
   The pink girl went back out into the hallway. Maybe she had a pager in her pocket.
-"WHAT?! They're claiming you're responsible...?! Special forces are breaching the company office?!"
+"WHAT!? They're claiming you're responsible...?! Special forces are breaching the company office!?"
   Her yelling resonated through the hallway.
 "Calm down. Don't do anything stupid. Talk to the commanding officer. Huh? They want you to pay for the damages? They're going to kill you if you don't buy out the entire project? You're already tied up? Ugh, what's Kai doing at a time like this?! So how much do they want? Pfft! That's at least two more zeroes than it should be! We can't pay that, not right away!
 Hold on a second, um... hmm... maybe there is a way."
@@ -22631,7 +22631,7 @@
 "As for me... Let me think. The weather's only getting worse, so maybe we should stay in our rooms, lock the doors, and go to sleep. Nobody can make us laugh, then."
 "Aww, but that's so boring!
   Come on, Soujyuro! Let's stick this out! Don't you want to watch Aoko die?"
-"Beo, that's not funny-
+"Beo, that's not funny―
 Hm?"
 "!"
   Suddenly, the room was pitch-dark.
@@ -22641,7 +22641,7 @@
 "What're you thinking, Eiri?! You could've killed us all!"
   He would've killed *you*, maybe.
   But I decided to keep that to myself.
-"I couldn't help it-the opportunity presented itself."
+"I couldn't help it. The opportunity presented itself."
 "Good timing, though. Even a silly joke can be effective if the timing is right."
 "Something about not being able to see his face makes it funnier, too."
 "Good grief. Even I almost laughed. Are you sure he isn't the killer?"
@@ -22650,7 +22650,7 @@
   For whatever reason, I could tell we were all tempted to make each other laugh.
 "Found a candle. Anyone got some matches?
   Or a lighter?"
-"When my Italian plumber lost weight, he got-a lighter."
+"When my Italian plumber lost weight, he got-a-lighter."
 "Was that Father Eiri again?"
 "Oh, man. That was so bad."
 "I feel dumber for having heard it."
@@ -22661,7 +22661,7 @@
 "Looks like this old mansion at least has some proper equipment. I was worried we were going to be stuck in the dark until morning."
   Riddell had moved next to me at some point. She looked up.
   I followed her gaze...
-"Bwahahahaha-
+"Bwahahahaha―
 Hurk!"
   The pink girl took what looked like several impacts to the chest, spun around dramatically, and collapsed.
 "Riddell?! What happened?!"
@@ -22695,7 +22695,7 @@
   ...I was roused by the sound of wind.
   The lights were out.
   I didn't remember turning them off before I went to sleep.
-I got up and tried the light switch, but nothing happened.
+ I got up and tried the light switch, but nothing happened.
 "..."
   I wanted to check the time, but that wasn't happening in this darkness.
   I tried my best to go back to sleep and pretend everything was okay, but I was too on edge. I could barely even stay still.
@@ -22785,12 +22785,12 @@
   The weather forecast had said the three-day weekend was supposed to be sunny. Not so in the mountains, I suppose.
   At this point, I'd met six people staying here:
   Aozaki,
-Miss Kuonji,
-Sizuki,
-Tsukiji
-that idiot Housuke,
-Mr. Yamasiro,
-and Beo.
+ Miss Kuonji,
+ Sizuki,
+ Tsukiji
+ that idiot Housuke,
+ Mr. Yamasiro,
+ and Beo.
   Miss Kuonji had implied that there were other guests staying here, too.
   This was a Western-style house and people didn't take their shoes off at the entrance, so I couldn't guess their number by counting shoes.
   For now, I had no idea how many other people were here.
@@ -22817,7 +22817,7 @@
 "Where's that key...? Oh, here it is."
   It was a brass key, with an old-fashioned and elaborate design that perfectly complemented the mansion's European theme.
   I thought it was best to tackle the problem now.
-"Okay everyone, to your-"
+"Okay everyone, to your―"
 "Wait. Before that, I want to check something.
   Does everybody know how many guests are here today?"
 "Thirteen, including Kuonji.
@@ -22833,8 +22833,8 @@
 "...I didn't realize, either. Aoko and Sizuki were in charge of sending out invitations.
   No one told me they only set out nine invitations. Tokie and I are the hosts, so including Aoko and Sizuki that should've been thirteen.
   Oh, I should mention,
-I personally sent invitations to Ritsuka
-and Beo."
+ I personally sent invitations to Ritsuka
+ and Beo."
 "I invited
 Eiri,
 Yuika,
@@ -22843,13 +22843,13 @@
 "I invited
 Kumari.
 I gave the leftover invitations to
-Mr. Yamasiro and...
-...someone I really, really
+Mr. Yamasiro and 
+someone I really, really 
 shouldn't mention out loud."
 "So the numbers add up, then.
   Soujyuro, tell me who you invited, before I yell at you.
   I'm pretty sure I know already, but tell me. Who you sent. The last invitation to."
-"...Oh, I, um... I mean, it's not good to leave people out, so-"
+"...Oh, I, um... I mean, it's not good to leave people out, so―"
 "Touko. You're the one who invited Touko!"
   Aozaki grabbed Sizuki by his collar and shook him violently, like a bobblehead.
 "Ohh... Two Riddells..."
@@ -22891,13 +22891,13 @@
   Tsukiji strode off toward the sunroom.
 "Oh."
   Another blackout.
-"I can't see a damn thin-"
+"I can't see a damn thi―"
   There was a dazzling flash of light.
   Through the window in the sunroom,
   I could see lightning-
 "Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!"
 "Tsukiji, get back! Now!"
-"Wh-wh-what the hell was that?! Someone was there!"
+"W-w-what the hell was that!? Someone was there!"
 "You three, over here! Into the hall!"
   Ritsuka grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the pitch-black drawing room.
   I definitely saw the outline of a person against the lightning.
@@ -22936,14 +22936,14 @@
   I wanted to watch her back, of course, but I had another reason too.
   Aozaki was currently the most suspicious survivor.
   It wasn't a good idea to let her go alone, for multiple reasons.
-  If she was the killer-or Sweets Hearts, or whatever- then our lives were in danger. If I didn't go with her, then it would cast more doubt on her later.
+  If she was the killer―or Sweets Hearts, or whatever―then our lives were in danger. If I didn't go with her, then it would cast more doubt on her later.
   Anyone could see how dangerous it was outside.
   Of course, I would've liked to stay with Tsukiji,
   but petty feelings like that weren't more important than my friendship with Aozaki.
 "...Okay. Fine.
   Just promise you won't leave my side, no matter what.
   Does that work for you, Eiri?"
-"Yes. I wanted to send someone with you anyway. Miss Kumari would be as good as anyone.
+"Yes. I wanted to send someone with you anyway. Miss Kumari would be as good as anyone."
   Father Eiri seemed to thinking along the same lines.
   ...He had a cool demeanor, but maybe he had genuine concern for Aozaki.
 "Tobimaru, look after Yuika and Alice. If we don't find anything in twenty minutes, we'll be back.
@@ -22975,9 +22975,9 @@
   Somehow, she heard me.
 "What?! Did you say something, Kuma?!"
   Aozaki voice came from the tree line.
-"I said, I can't get back to the mansion by myself-"
+"I said, I can't get back to the mansion by myself―"
 "Behind you! The mansion's directly behind you!
-  Just turn around and- ...Pffhahahahaha!"
+  Just turn around and―Pffhahahahaha!"
   Huh?
 "OH, CRAP!
   Did I actually just fall for that?! KUMAAA!"
@@ -23011,7 +23011,7 @@
   I'd lost over a liter of blood, and it only kept flowing.
 "I can't... believe this..."
   Horrifying reality stopped me from finishing my sentence.
-Something was coming this way.
+  Something was coming this way.
   At this point, I didn't really care.
   Would I sleep forever...
   ...or be captured by the killer?
@@ -23087,7 +23087,7 @@
 "A bunch of ropes tied up like a spider's web between the trees.
   His body was at the center, all twisted.
   He was completely naked.
-And he had a rose in his mouth-"
+And he had a rose in his mouth―"
 "Ahahahahahahahaha!"
 "Huh?"
   Instinctively, I turned to face the laughter behind me.
@@ -23103,7 +23103,7 @@
   I returned to my room, alone.
   Even with Aozaki in confinement, we still had to stay on guard.
   I locked the door to my room
-and lay down on my bed.
+ and lay down on my bed.
   All that was left to do was wait for morning.
   So much had happened, but at least I could finally sleep without worrying.
 "...Whew."
@@ -23191,7 +23191,7 @@
 "Maybe it's like a magical sword.
   Y'know, not just anyone can wield it. Only 'the chosen one.'"
   Could a thing really choose who uses it?
-  If so, did that mean Miss Kuonji was supporting-no, empathetic to it?
+  If so, did that mean Miss Kuonji was supporting―no, empathetic to it?
 "That aside, I know this is a little late to ask, but are you really okay with teaming up with me?"
   Well, that came out of nowhere.
   I tried my best to stay calm as I answered,
@@ -23208,7 +23208,7 @@
 "You think she was framed?"
 "Yeah. She was too preoccupied with covering something up to think about anything else.
   Plus, she was saying some weird things. When do you think
-that business with Touko happened?
+ that business with Touko happened?"
   I...
 -Decision S-
   I spaced out, and random thoughts filled my mind.
@@ -23234,11 +23234,11 @@
 "..."
   I agreed with Mr. Yamasiro.
   "Ignore anything weird, even ghosts" was kind of a scary thing to say.
-  The foyer of the Kuonji Estate's was colder than I expected.
+  The foyer of the Kuonji Estate was colder than I expected.
   I knew the mountains were colder, but this was something else.
   It felt like winter in here.
 "Would you look at this decor! From the outside, it looks like a standard Tudor style construction, but the foyer is closer to Romanesque architecture.
-  The connecting hallway and the lobby here appear to be from different time periods. It's as though another building has been tacked on--... Oh?"
+  The connecting hallway and the lobby here appear to be from different time periods. It's as though another building has been tacked on―Oh?"
 "Whaaaat? Seriously? Mr. Yamasiro?"
   I heard a stupid, irritating voice behind me, and sure enough, there was an idiot standing in the foyer.
 "Whoa! And Kojika, too!
@@ -23304,13 +23304,13 @@
   Tsukiji turned to the door, ready to leave.
   I tried to say something.
 "Th-This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but...
-  ...even though it's been, y'know, a rough day, you seem-I dunno-content."
+  ...even though it's been, y'know, a rough day, you seem―I dunno―content."
   What the hell was I saying?
   I was just embarrassing myself.
 "People died and I almost joined them. 'Rough day' is putting it lightly."
   Luckily, he took my question seriously.
 "But, I guess, in a way... it's been kind of fun.
-"You feel the same, don't you, Kumari?"
+  You feel the same, don't you, Kumari?"
   His considerate reply was so reassuring, I almost forgot my anxiety.
 "That's a surprise. I thought you looked down on this sort of thing."
 "Well, you were wrong, then. I love this kind of chaos. I don't want to take life too seriously."
@@ -23470,7 +23470,7 @@
   Game over. Victory to the real killer.
   My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of footsteps. The footsteps of Death...
   Noon. Central Park.
-  I finished making extra prints at the store, and threw away the disposable camera, so I didn't have to carry it around.
+  I finished making extra prints at the store, and threw away the disposable camera so I didn't have to carry it around.
   It was a beautiful day out; the sky was clear, and the autumn air was crisp.
   The troubles of the summer were gone, and it was a brand new day.
   I, Kojika Kumari, was about to spend my long weekend at the strangest of events.
@@ -23493,7 +23493,7 @@
   So what're you doing here today?
   Following your students around? You know that'll be illegal one day, so I wouldn't get into a habit of doing it."
   Aozaki never pulled her punches, inside or outside of school.
-  She was particularly harsh to Mr. Yamasiro; almost like they were related.
+  She was particularly harsh to Mr. Yamasiro, almost like they were related.
 "Oh, you mean stalking?
  I think you're probably the expert on that, Aozaki. That's just my personal impression of you, though.
   Don't look at me like that. Anyway, here...
@@ -23506,11 +23506,11 @@
 "Hahaha! I thought it very considerate of him!
   Why, Aozaki, I imagine Sizuki could really go places, given the right opportunities.
   And look at what else he wrote.
-Please watch over the party, because who knows what Aozaki might do.'
+'Please watch over the party, because who knows what Aozaki might do.'
   He's even preparing for emergencies! Fine management skills, if you ask me."
   Aozaki let out a defeated sigh.
   She couldn't turn away Mr. Yamasiro, since he'd been formally invited.
-  However cold-hearted she may appear, she did have a sense of etiquette.
+  However cold-hearted she appeared, she did have a sense of etiquette.
 "Okay, okay. Follow me, I guess.
   Is this the first time you've both visited the Kuonji Estate?"
 "It is. People around here don't usually go near Shiroinuzuka. Take what happened this past summer, for instance."
@@ -23518,7 +23518,7 @@
   This mountain's like sacred ground for all the kids around here."
   Maybe "sacred ground" was an exaggeration, but I couldn't think of a better way to describe it.
   For years, there had been urban legends circulating about the hills there.
-  Like "The Demon Dog of the Slope."
+  Like the "Demon Dog of the Slope."
   Or the one where, if you went into the woods on a foggy day, you'd come out either as someone different or with strange powers.
   Those stories were probably the reason kids came here: to test their courage.
   In elementary school, if you went into the woods and touched the mailbox of the haunted house, you were officially awesome right up until graduation.
@@ -23543,14 +23543,14 @@
   I'm planning to attend a local university. Given my current academic performance, that should be a piece of cake.
   My parents insist I get a job; they don't want me attending college at all.
 "You're going to help out with the family business. Why go to college?"
-  That's my old-fashioned father for you-as big and as hard-headed as a bear.
+  That's my old-fashioned father for you―as big and as hard-headed as a bear.
   Luckily, my older brothers managed to convince him to let me go despite his archaic ways.
 "Mad Daddy, Kojika needs to experience college life, and do gymnastics there. Don't you want to see her on the pommel horse?"
 "Hahaha, that's why you're the oldest, brother. I think the rings are more her thing! She's too weak for horses."
-"You kidding, my double bros? The horizontal bar is where it's at! Once you get a taste of those vertical flips, you'll never go back!
+"You kidding, my double bros? The horizontal bar is where it's at! Once you get a taste of those vertical flips, you'll never go back!"
 "Yeah, and she's a hit with the guys. We can use that! I bet those dumbasses at the skating club will beg us to convince her to join their team!"
   Honestly, my brothers are idiots.
-  Those gymnastics events were male only, for goodness' sake.
+  Those gymnastics events were male-only, for goodness' sake.
 "B
 U
 N
@@ -23576,7 +23576,7 @@
   My father believed every word of it.
   Of course, I fully intended to go to my second choice in the city.
   That's why I secretly worked a part-time job.
-  I'd saved enough over three years to cover living costs if I passed and get in. I'd have to get a loan for tuition fees, but it was the only way to make the plan work.
+  I'd saved enough over three years to cover living costs if I got in. I'd have to get a loan for tuition fees, but it was the only way to make the plan work.
   My father was stubborn and brash, but he appreciated hard work and diligence.
   If he saw that I passed my exams while saving up enough money to pay for myself, he'd probably let me go.
   Not that I wouldn't even if he disapproved.
@@ -23587,9 +23587,9 @@
   Aozaki didn't reply.
   It's a beautiful day and Mr. Yamasiro had been invited to a party, so he couldn't be thinking straight.
   He'd unknowingly spoken a word forbidden in Misaki High.
-  Strangely-then again, maybe it's not so strange-Aozaki was single.
+  Strangely―then again, maybe it's not so strange―Aozaki was single.
   She was undoubtedly attractive if she wasn't speaking to you,
-but she was permanently in a bad mood, and didn't bother with small talk.
+ but she was permanently in a bad mood, and didn't bother with small talk.
 "Were you up all night, Mr. Yamasiro?"
 "Oh, I, um, I was just, you know, curious. You're almost free of your student council duties, and I'm simply raising a glass to your youth as your teacher..."
 "Thank you *ever* so kindly for your concern, Mr. Yamasiro.
@@ -23604,7 +23604,7 @@
   Mr. Yamasiro laughed uncomfortably.
 "Good. Please, think before you speak in the future. Certain people at the mansion might not take kindly to slips of the tongue. Right, Kuma?"
 "Right...
-  Sure it's a party, but it's for someone's birthday."
+  Sure, it's a party, but it's for someone's birthday."
   I was starting to feel a little inadequate.
   I wasn't as attractive or cool as Aozaki.
   I mean, I wasn't even sure my college plan was really going to work. I felt more anxious every day.
@@ -23612,11 +23612,11 @@
   If I didn't already have enough to worry about, there was the equally big problem of a boy at school.
 "I'm surprised Miss Kuonji is holding a party at her place. Aozaki, you mentioned even her father rarely gets to visit."
 "It came as a shock to me too, actually. I guess people really can change.
-Sizuki's friends can come, too. I don't mind.'
+'Sizuki's friends can come, too. I don't mind.'
   Never thought I'd hear Alice say something like that."
   The gate to Shiroinuzuka stood tall, as if designed to warn off visitors.
-  Aozaki opened the gate; it's wasn't even locked.
-  I felt like we were passing into a different world. Is it just me or do the trees and mountains look different inside?
+  Aozaki opened the gate; it wasn't even locked.
+  I felt like we were passing into a different world. Was it just me, or did the trees and mountains look different inside?
   I...
 -Decision A-
   I think it would be best to run away until the morning.
@@ -23639,10 +23639,10 @@
 gra-
 tu-
 lations
-on
-kill-
+ on
+ kill-
 ing
-ev-
+ ev-
 ery-
 one."
   It was a voice of terror that I'd never heard before,
@@ -23653,7 +23653,7 @@
   I didn't have a decisive answer to the killer's motive, method, or identity.
   There was only one thing I knew for sure.
   Tsukiji had said it many times.
-It's not about who committed the murders,
+  It's not about who committed the murders,
 but rather who *could have* committed the murders.
   The first murder: Tokitsu's capture and death by explosion.
   We could exclude the following suspects: Me,
@@ -23671,14 +23671,14 @@
   Who cares?
   The fourth murder: Beo.
   It can't have been me, because I didn't search for Aozaki's sister.
-Neither could it have been Tsukiji,
-Sizuki,
-or Ritsuka.
+ Neither could it have been Tsukiji,
+ Sizuki,
+ or Ritsuka.
   The fifth murder: Father Eiri's web.
   We were in the foyer, so it couldn't have been me,
-Tsukiji,
-Ritsuka,
-or Miss Kuonji.
+ Tsukiji,
+ Ritsuka,
+ or Miss Kuonji.
   The sixth murder: The Yuika statue.
   This one didn't matter, either.
   The seventh murder: the elder Aozaki's death by alcohol poisoning.
@@ -23697,7 +23697,7 @@
   ...was the glaring discrepancy between his and Miss Kuonji's alibis.
   Sizuki said he was in the mansion in the morning.
   However, that's not what his landlady said.
-She said that "no one was around to help," so she locked the place up herself.
+  She said that "no one was around to help," so she locked the place up herself.
   If she did that on a regular basis, she wouldn't have bothered to mention that.
   Miss Kuonji wanted either Sizuki or Aozaki to lock the doors.
   Aozaki said she was in town in that morning.
@@ -23708,14 +23708,14 @@
   I had to find Sizuki before morning. Before...
   Someone was behind me.
 "So you're the killer,
-Sizuki!!!"
+ Sizuki!!!"
 "Whuh?!"
   Eat this!
   I took up my trusty wok and swing it as hard as I could, before he could lay a hand on me.
   It connected, hard.
   Harder than it should have...
   Sizuki... I only saw him briefly, but I knew it was him. He collapsed to the ground,
-and a strange item tumbled onto the floor.
+ and a strange item tumbled onto the floor.
   ...It was the kind of cheap fake glasses and nose you'd find in any bag of party favors.
 "W-Who would actually laugh at this?!"
   The only ones who would were Miss Kuonji who didn't get out much... and Aozaki, who thought so much of Sizuki.
@@ -23741,7 +23741,7 @@
   I tripped and fell. As I stood up, I tried to take a second to think.
   I was mistaken.
   The game was still on.
-  If that was true, then Sweetheart had won.
+  If that was true, then Sweets Hearts had won.
   Sizuki was the killer. I was sure of it!
   I'd said it out loud, and I was still alive, wasn't I?
   Remember the rules:
@@ -23817,7 +23817,7 @@
 "So that means the killer must be..."
   I tried to speak, but the words didn't come out.
   I'd played right into Sweets Hearts's hands.
-  The killer-Sizuki-was the last person left standing, while I'd failed to guess correctly and just stood here, mind blank.
+  The killer―Sizuki―was the last person left standing, while I'd failed to guess correctly and just stood here, mind blank.
   I was just one step away...
   I'd almost figured it all out.
   If I'd just focused more in the evening...
@@ -23854,7 +23854,7 @@
   There were two killers.
   Riddell's suggestions.
   Tsukiji's suspicions.
-  Teams of two. Intimate betrayal-two minds, one body.
+  Teams of two. Intimate betrayal―two minds, one body.
   Sweets Hearts, the prayer Ploy Kickshaw.
   In retrospect, it was such a revealing name.
   If "sweet" referred to its pudding body, then what about "heart"?
@@ -23934,10 +23934,10 @@
 gra-
 tu-
 lations
-on
-kill-
+ on
+ kill-
 ing
-ev-
+ ev-
 ery-
 one."
   It was a voice of terror that I'd never heard before,
@@ -23959,7 +23959,7 @@
   Miss Kuonji personally locked the room were she stored her Ploys.
   No one could possibly break inside.
   As long as there weren't any special tricks, we could eliminate that possibility entirely.
-  It was only logical-
+  It was only logical―
   Therefore, if someone took the Ploy, they had to have done it *before* today.
   They would have broken in before she locked the vault.
   Only someone who had accidentally come on the first day of the long weekend
@@ -23972,7 +23972,7 @@
   Of those people, Touko Aozaki probably had it all figured out. But, she laughed at something she wasn't expecting, so that took care of her.
   Then there was Mr. Yamasiro.
   He'd said...
-...that he'd gotten his invitation that morning.
+  ...that he'd gotten his invitation that morning.
   Everyone else had received theirs before that.
   It's highly likely it was delivered directly to his mailbox instead of being mailed.
   If Sizuki was working with the prime suspect, then they likely edited the invitation.
@@ -24008,7 +24008,7 @@
 "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't care what you can do, and I don't care what happened.
   I'm done talking to you. Time's up.
   You're finished."
-"W-Wait! But I can only be used by someone who has unrequited-"
+"W-wait! But I can only be used by someone who has unrequited―"
   At the end of the day...
 "Get lost. Sizuki is the killer! I'm the user, Kojika Kumari."
 "What? Seriously?! But that's so unmaidenly!"
@@ -24118,7 +24118,7 @@
 Back
 Because I might've been wrong all along.
 Because I'm the last survivor.
-I'm sure now-because everything happened the way I decided it should.
+I'm sure now―because everything happened the way I decided it should.
 Tea Time^Little happening of last night
 Tea Time^night's
 Tea Time^Blues in her name