How to care for an infant

infacnt-care.md

• Bottle every 2 hours (today, he started at 9:30a)
  • 3 oz, warmed to blood temperature in microwave in mug of water
    • In your Microwave, this proved to take about 30 sec
  • During feeding, Wiggle the nipple gently until you can tell he's getting suction
    • The vent will be dry
    • You'll see bubbles rising to the formula's surface inside the bottle as air enters via the vent
• In case of crying
  1. Is his diaper dirty?
     • Simple test is if the front feels swollen; if so, he's peed at least.
     • Poop will have a distinct smell; carefully open the back and look for signs
       • He poops every other day, so it probably won't be an issue
     • See [Skills/Changing a Diaper]
  2. Is it close to feeding time?
     • He is anticipating his bottle, and trying to hurry you
       • See [Interaction] and [Skills/Soothing]; you need to distract him.
  3. Is he uncomfortable?
     • Touch his nose, hands, and feet. Is he too cold?
     • Touch his hips and chest. Is he too warm?
     • Is he sitting funny or arching out of his chair?
       • See [Interacton]; he wants to move
  4. Is he more fussy than crying?
     • See [Interaction]
• Skills

  • Soothing

    • Shush him
      • Very loudly, make white noise through your teeth, right next to his ear
      • Babies find this relaxing for some reason
      • If you can get a noise generator app on your phone, this will keep you from getting dizzy.
    • Binky
      • Also known as the "Baby plug", it's meant to give the impression of breast feeding without all the overfeeding
      • Shove it in his mouth. Nothing to it.
    • Bouncing
      • Or any repetitive motion. Making sure his neck isn't going to flop everywhere, stick him on your knee and bounce it, or pick him up with your arm under his butt and bounce. Dancing can work too.
        • The line between bouncing and shaking is about 1/2 Hz. More than 2 bounces a second is pushing it.
    • Swaddle him
      • Swaddlers are stupid-proof. Lay it out, stick his feet in, velcro the left, velcro the right, and watch as he grumps hard about being straitjacketed. We usually only do this for nap time, but if he's being inconsolable, it's definitely an option.
    • Lay him on his Side
      • Lay him sideways in the crook between your arm and your body. Amy has had success with this; I have not.

  • Changing a diaper

    1. Lay him down on a changing pad or waterproof spot
    2. Undo the velcro clasps
    3. Briefly lift up the front of the diaper to check what the situation is, then put it back
       • The cold air may make him pee more. This keeps that potentiality at bay.
       • For pee, just grab another diaper
       • For poo, get your wipes, another diaper, and zinc cream ready
    4. Dealing with poo (optional)
       1. Lift his butt up by his feet using one hand
       2. Pull off the diaper and start breathing through your mouth
       3. Carefully wipe the poo off using the baby wipes. Make sure his testicles and the rim of his penis get properly cleaned; it's weird, but infections suck, and he can't do it himself.
       4. Slather a layer of zinc cream on his butt and any affected areas
    5. If he has pooped or peed through his diaper (yes, this happens)
       • If it's trivial, carefully remove his outfit
       • If it's a goddamned warzone, carefully cut his outfit off, using blunt-nose scissors if possible.
    6. Replacing the diaper
       • Open up the new diaper, pulling out the straps (but not the velcro), and fluffing out the gussets and other assorted bits on the inside
       • Lift him up by his feet again, remove the old diaper if it's still there
       • Slide the straps side under his butt and put him down on them. He will be kicking. He thinks this shit is funny. Ignore the trolling, quickly pop out the velcro and attach to the front.
       • Fold down the excess on the top of the front
       • Reclose his outfit

  • Interaction

    • Sit / Stand
      1. Sit him down, and take his hands
      2. Say, "Stand!" and gently pull him up; he'll work out what you're doing and help as best he can.
      3. Say, "Sit!" and gently pull him down; he'll work out what you're doing and slam his butt down.
    • Tummy time
      1. Lay him on his belly on a blanket on a firm, but not hard surface
      2. Watch the little bugger like a hawk
    • Dancing
      1. Stand him on your belly or soft surface, holding him by his waist
      2. Wiggle him back and forth in short jerks to the beat of something
    • Music
      • He loves music. Play him some or sing. He likes live guitar, at least.