An old taglines file

TAGLINES.TAG

*** YOU'RE A SPECIAL USER ***
"What type of female would prostitute herself for a video game?" - Meph
"As far as I could tell they were little black and^M white weirdos... Perhaps monkeys?" -- Dark Deth
"The graphics are superior to absolutely every home game system I've^M seen so far - even my current #1 system which^M happens to be a SNES." -- Scoop on N64
"...hardware, software, systems...at tremendous prices." -- Tri State Ad
"here is the fxed verison!" -- Jester
"if ANYONE has a CD rip of this I'll.. well, I'll probably^Minvoluntarily attempt to impregnate my boxer shorts" -- Muad'Dib
"CONGRATULATIONS BOMBER:MAN:BECOMES:RUNNER SEE:YOU:AGAIN:IN:LODE:RUNNER"
"I used to have the adapter for my sega to^Mturn it into the 8-bit mastery system, and a few games." -- Streetlife
Don't debate it -- just masterbate it!
Oh, Bobby, I'm sorry your head looks like a potato.
Call Bill Clintons tax infoline...1-900-SCR-EWME $100/min
"DD> I've been trying (obviously unsuccessfully) to^M DD> kill myself since I was 12.^M^M   perhaps you should try again" -- Joykiller
"HEY! i am hardcore! but i lost my chain wallet..dammit..." -- Malachi
"what did you like better, liquid or rippled flesh?" -- The Child
"For Just Pennies A Day,You Can Get This File A Diz" -- AF nodiz msg
"get me the duke nukem 3d source and ill make a shrine for ya.." -- Jester
"hahahahahaha, thats the funniest thing ive ever heard. you really are a^Mbilly joel cum-licker huh?" -- Joykiller
"are you pulling theses facts out of a magical jizz bucket?" -- Joykiller
"When I was 18 my father was a fool.  Now that I'm 28 I'm amazed at^Mhow much he has learned in the past 10 years." -- Mark Twain
The chief defect of Henry King^MWas chewing little bits of string.^M                           -- Hilaire Belloc, Cautionary Tales [1907]
"Nope, my programs will NEVER get screwy, this is a MS-DOS Win 3.11 system^Mwe're talking about here." -- Dark Deth
Smith & Wesson -- The Original Point & Click Interface
"werent you thinking of staring a save the big^Mblack dick foundation?" -- Joykiller
"Hey! Online Girls know more about 'RAMS' and^M'HARD DRIVES' than other girls!" -- Fido SINGLES
"I admit I can't spell for shit and the school blames it on my eye,^Mand thats cool, but i think otherwise." -- The Child
<AndrewV> I don^M<AndrewV> FUCKING APOSTROPHE!!^M<AndrewV> dpm^M<AndrewV> FUCKING APOSTROPHE!!^M<AndrewV> don^M<AndrewV> WILL YOU STOP THAT^M<AndrewV> don^M<AndrewV> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Damn... We need an OS compatible /w DOS, Win, and OS2 that^Mruns like none of them..." -- Dark Deth
"Doesn't beat my niple action during lunch..." -- The Child
"Hmm.. that message reminds me about something having to do with a plastic^Mbanana for some reason..." -- Letterman
"Will you stop.  I'm not going to have sex with you while^Mmy parents are here." -- WB Sitcom...gotta love 'em 
"ill trade you an envelope of jizz too!" -- Joykiller
"uh... he's jsut a dork.  he looks like a grape fruit." -- The Child
"The heart of all assembler routines is the movs function - move string."
"I think everyone is familiar with what is considered a personal computer^Mjust as I think most everyone recognizes what is considered a^Mvideo platform (SNET, PSX, etc)." -- Fido GAMING
"Maybe not many Senior citizens can, but it's still more realistic than^Mjumping like Grandpa Simpson, that's essentially what I feel^Mlike when I play Quake, Abraham Simpson wearing ice skates on the moon." -- FG
"I agree with you that Duke3D has better weapons. The ones in Quake^Mare not that inventive (Is that a word?)..." -- Fido GAMING
"GOD my CPU fan is loud.." -- Scoop
"You DON'T wanna see '95 running in protected mode." -- Wolfstar
<Enygma> WHAT?!^M<Enygma> THE APPLE ISN"T RUBY?!  GRRR!
"MCI codes are cool -- my friend was using them until he got busted."
"The chimps have sticks and rocks that they use as rocks." -- Dark Deth
"I don't have any taglines, except when I was Don Corleone, and said^Mthat I was a fucking idiot, and that's the only one^MI have.  I'm depressed."  -- Streetlife
"Any of you fucking pricks MOVE, and I'll execute every^Mmotherfucking last one of you!" -- Pulp Fiction
"Good thing this isn't live, huh?" -- John L. -- ST 30th Anniv. Spcl.
"scoop was sucking a big black dick yestersay! i saw him" -- Joykiller
<meph> Alex: You can interject a more interesting topic, if you live.^M<meph> like.
"Thats nto a bug, its a fetus!"
...and with that, The Child shuddered...
"I can stand excessive egos.  You suffer from a severe case of dick fear."
<Kesac> My dog is smart...^M<Kesac> But it barks at Watermelons...
"I ran into a wall today and it hurt.  then i showed a girl my nipple^Mand my forehead got stuck to the bus." -- The Child
"Hmm.  Yeah.  What IS that, hmmm?" -- Tom Servo -- MST3K Movie
"The lock the animals in the room and show them sick animal^Mpornography, like 2 dogs doing it with a car, or maybe a bat and pig..."
"Yep.  gym sux, but if ytou go to jail during the summer you don't^Mhave to take it.  almost worth the anal sex..." -- The Child
"I know I have sinned in your eyes...but who is to know if God shares^Myour vision." -- The Scarlet Letter
"Greetings Gentlemen.  Your journey begins this way.  And from this way,^Mwe go that way." -- N64 video promo from Blockbuster
PROGRAM  (PRO'-gram') [n] A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it^Mto turn one's input into error messages.    [vi] To engage in a pastime^Msimilar to banging one's head against a wall,  but, with fewer^Mopportunities for reward.
"...or like when you have the sudden urge to go tackle a tree...^Mdon't try it man those bastards don't have any give" -- Paladine
"You've spent an entire afternoon installing Linux.  In order to make^Mspace for it, you wiped your MS-DOS and OS/2 partitions, and tearfully^Mdeleted your copies of SimCity and Wing Commander.   You reboot^Mthe system, and nothing happens."
Windows glorifies BASIC.  <ack>
"she has a lump the size of a baseball on her shin, and two gouges from^Mthe metal shoelace holders on my sneaker. Pretty fucking neato^Mif you ask me.." -- Malachi
Windows:  The reason BASIC programmers feel so macho.
Why risk a hangover?  Stay Drunk!!
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing.  But we^Mwouldn't be laughing that evening, when he'd come back with some whore^Mhe picked up in town.
"Gym class is cool because we get to play lacross.   That's the^Mgreatest wackoff game of them all..." -- Spazcoland
"you need a taste of the big black dick" -- Joykiller
"Where's your father?"^M"Masturbating to gay porn upstairs."^M"Again?"
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every^Mculture, is the story of Popeye.
"You are EXACTLY the reactionary, self-righteous, nob-gobbler I want^Mthe game companies to quit worrying about." -- Fido GAMING
Every Minute in america 60 seconds are lost
Out Of 100 people surveyed 50% said No
1-800-IWANNATALKINTOABIGPLASTICDICK
The Rotary phone Hotline, All rotary all THE TIME  -- 1-900-ROT-TARY^M     Ring!..Ring!...If you have A rotary phone PUSH One
Wiler's Law: Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
Maryhad mary a little had a lamb a little little Mary
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
CP/M...?  Oh Yes...  Listen... "When I was a boy..."
"Stay off the streets!  I'm starting drivers ed!!" -- The Child
Old bakers never die, you just can't get a rise out of them!
"The fun in 3D-games is that you can explode enemies, not see porno,^Mand not to hear "BOORN TO BEE WIIILD!"" -- More intelligence^Mfrom Fido GAMING
A lie is most convincingly hidden between two truths.
"hi greg.. you are smoking crack." -- Gravedigger
"On November 22,1996....Resistance is futile. Your life as you^Mknow it...is over. From now on you will service...us."^M             -Paramount's Bean-counters 1996 ;)
Programmer: "Oh gee, I compiled the first version and it^Mcame out to 150 megs and only runs at 1 FPS on a 686/120."^MExecutive:"Time to declare a new minimum standard."^MGamer: "What was that, bend over? Sure! Is this far enough?"
"aww...isn't that cute.....BUT IT'S WRONG!!!!!"
"Flattering will get you a hicky on your ass." -- The Child
I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains...where the spirits lie...
"I DEMAND SATISFACTION!!" -- Quark
no stupid slogans, no dumb release dates. Run linux. it's free. it's unix.
eHpl ! Imat arppdei sndi eht eED-C20
"WHAT IN THE FLY'N FLIP IS WRONG WITH THAT WORD!!!  Listen you church^M going *** ** * ***** I outta cram my ******* foot up your **** ***.^M Nothing personal... just had to get that out." -- Fido GAMING to Moder
The only thing Quake shook was my Ram.
I'm in a 486 prison and Bill Gates is the jailer!
"SimCity 2000 requires a lot of memory to run--4 MB total." -- SC2K DOCS
"You need approximately 1 MB of free space on your hard disk (C).^M If you don't have that much memory available, make room on your^M hard disk and restart the installation procedure." -- Troika Install
"wait wait here, i know for a fact the^M undertaker is NOT twelve years old." -- Malachi
Whoa be it the talk show talking to kids who are afraid to be fat, and^Mare getting advice from Carnie.
"It was a slight provocation, a mere poke in the stomach, but the^M Pillsbury Doughboy had had enough..." -- Meph's English Quiz...:) 
We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all.
"Raving changed my life.  I've learned how to release my energy^Mblockages.  I've been up for forty-eight hours!" --  John Draper
finger whitehouse.gov and make a secret service agent come
"All of my 'friends' have alterior motives and hidden agendas.  Maybe^MI'm just being paranoid, but I think this is true.  It's so rare to^Mfind true friendship anymore. They say that people need people, but I^Mthink that's bullshit." -- FUCK 34
"I use a Pentium and Win 95, and I've seen Win 95 with a 486.^MA Pentium is noticeably faster." -- Fido GAMING
Runtime error 3032 - recursion error. See error 3032.
Pope goes to Mount Olive.  Popeye vows revenge.
"Heavens, no - I haven't been DOS editor shopping for years!" -- Fido C
"Sorry, I'm not a priest, but why don't you just save a lot of typing^Mand make your function simple and clear ?" -- Fido PASCAL
"...one person's 'cyberpunk' is another's everyday obnoxious teenager^Mwith some technical skill thrown in..."^M        -Erich Schneider, "alt.cyberpunk Frequently Asked Questions List" 
"I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but you are so fucked up." -- Phrack 48
"...armed with laptops loaded with programs they can't use, and talking^M at length to reporters about techniques they don't understand.  Welcome^M to DefCon." -- Phrack #48 -- Editorial
"i want to be added to your list. and could you send me unziped hacking^Msoftware or can you tell me how to unzip softwarre nd a beginners guide^Mto hacking. i would appreciate it i want to begin fun new field of^Mhacking thank you" -- Phrack #48
"How underground can you really go?  I used to have that file you are^Mlooking for, but I was so underground at the time, it got soiled with^Mmud and disintegrated, eventually polluting the water table, and was^Multimately drank by the city of Pasadena"
"How do you hack?" -- Prodigy user / Phrack #48
"I love it when two of my favorite things come^Mtogether (smut and computers)." -- Phrack 48
"Hi Can you teach me to be a hacker i think that that would be cool^Mso what do you think can you teach me to be a hacker and to be cool you^Mare one of the biggest hackers in the world" -- Phrack 48
"The culture of criminal hackers seems to glorify behavior which would be^Mclassified as sociopathic or frankly psychotic."^M         -- (Mich Kabay, director of education, NCSA, NCSA News, June 1996)
"The Greek word 'diarrhein,' which means 'to flow through,' describes^Mdiarrhea very well." (Gross-ology by Sylvia Branzei, Planet Dexter, 1996)
"Fuck you, clown!"  -- (Thee Joker, Defcon IV, July 28, 1996)                                   
Information wants to be $4.95.
"a nifty little game with tanks sorta like bangbang" -- FILE_ID.DIZ
"my calculator would eat his for brunch!!!" -- The Child
'I remember a long time ago someone asked... "Do you have to be catholic^M to go to brunch?"' -- The Child
The rich get rich, and the poor get poorer.
Error:018 Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.
USES OS/2, CRT, MOUSE, RAM, C:, PRN, SVGA, ELECTRICITY;
Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
"Borland Pascal 7.0 will fully produce 386, 486, and^MPentium optimized code." -- Fido PASCAL
My very own Origin line is too obtuse for Adrian Walker!!
"Nothing in this world is as strong as an idea which time has come!" -- VH
"yep, 30% morality rate, 50% irrversible brin damage... hehe, this^Mhype is da shit" -- The Child
"Mr. Neelix.  I do not wish to know the history of my breakfast." -- Tuvok
Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries!
"Next week Frank starts his Frank Spank (TM) franchise business off^Mwith a Frank Spank (TM) video, available in stores "When It's Done!". Next is^Ma Frank Spank (TM) 1-900-SPANK-ME number for people to call and actually hear a recorded msg..."
"At any moment he could show up with an Everlastinggobstopper and a^Mtroup of small orange men." -- Shadow Warrior Development Page
"am in the middle of the rpg Hugo's Whodonit..." -- Fido GAMING
"I didn't think the human body had that many holes.." -- Scoop
"i like driving." -- Binary
Clinton logic: $30,000 a year!? Wow - I'm a MILLIONARE!
"I DEDICATE THIS GAME TO MY DAUGHTER DOROTTYA." -- Ecco GG
Nothing says 'I love you' like eternal torture.
"Thought you could give him a tour of the 'lay of the land'." -- SUPERMAN
"Then could you PLEEEESE tell me how to get the girl's doll?" -- Fido GAMING
"Learn to speak english dillweed!" -- Fido GAMING
"I like to know if anyone out there can tell me the codes for^Mdoom that you can be invincible and see through walls" -- Fido GAMING
" How old are you?^M       OmEgA^M"NO I DON'T LIKE CHEESE!"" -- Fido GAMING
"Baby, you're elite..." -- Scoop
"They found this student who apparently was a whiz, and, apparently,^Mwas able to go in and unlock the password," School Board attorney Joseph^MR. Mariniello said.
"salad.. brian...eat a salad...." -- Binary
"I apologize to those few (and I stress VERY FEW) loyal callers, but^MI'm just sick of the 2 caller days.  I'm giving up and^Mgoin' to the Net..." -- Jason Burks
"Joystick went through the final fixing and testing. It^M*must* work." -- Master Gear v0.71 docs
"Yes, you can see from the above that the ex-Prey guys have^Mselected a Quake level pack as their first^Mstartup project.  Interesting.  We wish them luck." -- George Broussard
"BLACK is your friend." -- Epic Megagames ART SUBMISSION page
"Sorry, mouse, but you'll require a VGA compatible monitor and card^Mto execute tuthis program. Please go out and buy^Mthese items (they aren't that expensive!)" -- WGT5 Map Editor
No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds^Mthat it was human nature.
"There's a mummy in the attic!!"^M"There's something yummy in the attic? Mmmmm..."
BAGEL BITES.  They taste like shit, but god do I love 'em.
"I ate raw meat once...it hurt my teath, and my stomach. It looked^Mcool though..." - Tapewyrm
"Isn't it 30$ you little balarina you?" -- The Child
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer,^Mthen you find there is nothing in it.
">Honestly, I can't see why you'd want to return to side scrolling.^M^M   Because there's more than one type of^M game besides 3D action." -- Joe Siegler on Duke Forever
Hey Satan, pass the potatoes...and uh, cut my meat for me, will ya?
"I need to talk to 'em about the whole domain name thing because a bunch^Mof people and I wanna start boycott.micro.soft.com as a service to the^Mcomputer community." -- Scoop
"I AM WARHAMMER." -- Wolfstar
"I WILL NOT read any letters which have written 'Rick Dangerous' on^M it. I HATE getting such letters, because my postman always^Mlooks at me in such a strange way.. So do me a favour and^Msimply call me Erik!"  -- .NFO for Good Bad & Ugly demo
"Ok podnuh.. got ya covered, drop that flamethrower.  Remember -- flaming^Mis looked upon very unfavorably in this echo, attack the issue^Mand not the writer." -- Fido GAMING
" EV> Pascal is old move on to C++^M  EV> its for your own good.^M^M Well, aren't you just a legend." -- Fido PASCAL
"...it's Pascal man to the rescue..." -- Fido PASCAL
"Shut up! My priest could do exorcisms^M and stuff. He was the shit!"  -- Ganesh
"well it seems that you knocked up my door..." -- Hades
"The Earth Crisis BBS is down forever~!  I just wanted to thank all who^Mmade the board what it was.  If I get a upgrade in my system then^MI might put it back up but until then it is dead .. " -- Ghostrider
Do YOU know about the gaping hole in DuG's security, too?
"It's fun to increase security by breaking in." -- Khelbin
"Since sewer fingers no longer has access to this echo ....chances^Mare he won't even see your reply." -- Fido GAMING
"Legal warning: Coke is a registered^Mtrademark of the Coca-Cola Corp." -- Fido C
"and replace "ass" with "dick" the big black dick!" -- Joykiller
"Oh my god.  He just killed the monkey...broke his neck..." -- Pat
"'Nobody Beats The Wiz'...well guess what? NOBODY just moved into town..." -- TV Ad
"...Journey to the near future somewhere between 1995 and 2005..." -GRUNT TEST .DIZ
"Digital Underground Ansi drawn by 'WatOr' throw^Mthe iv phont on it and you'll be styling bwhah!"
"I don't DO anonymous posts." -- Wolfstar
"(This signature has been modified from its original form)" -- Scoop
"Macs are crafted." -- Teleny
"i always wet myself in fear..." -- The C***d :)
"I went to "A Good Place to Eat" and got some bad soda." -- Ganesh
"Anyshow with mannequins that were alive is cool. It would have^Mbeen better if he killed innocent shoppers though." -- Ganesh
"we got burned so bad i peeled all my skin off!" -- Binary
"BTW your mom is silly" -- The Child
"From: Glen.Harrison@btinternet.com    Subj: PROGRAMMING COMPETITION^M---^MOK, you think your good at programming.^MI challenge anyone to a program in pascal v7 or visual basic.^MHint : Youll lose."         -- comp.lang.pascal.borland
"I'm a living typo" -Child
"Just to inform all hackers out there that our application^Mhas nothing to hack, and even the full shareware version will be immune^Mto cracks and hacks due to the fact that the code will simply not be^Mthere." -- SNES Professional Docs
"How do you write programs for turbo pascal" -- Fido PASCAL
"Yeah, I'm the one who sat in the middle of the road, slit my wrist,^Mand lit three different people on fire. I'm much^Mmore laid back now." -- Dark Deth
"I said military man, not an assassin, but then again you probably^Mdon't understand the distinction." -- Wolfstar
"The 'Christopher Reeves' thing was very touching..." - Mark Davis - WTNH
"gotta throw out my CL00phone and get some Lamer Glasses.." -Nicodemus
"I excpect a women to look at me when she eats with me... its the^Mprice she has to pay"
"Shut up and eat your beef jerky, and get me another beer!" - S&B WPLR
"If you eat 500000000000 of ANYTHING you'll get buzzed. You may also^Mexplode or have nasty constipation for the next YEAR." -- Scoop
"this girl form uconn that i was sorta.. well ya know.. fucking.."^M           --Hades
"Actually, it was STOMPPING on the Cross,^M and licking assholes... oh well..." -- Tapewyrm
"The M-320:  Celebrate your countries independence, by blowing up^Ma small part of it." -- Simpsons
I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a^Mcircus clown, and how children would laugh and laugh at^Mme.  I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge.
"Just bought a book of stamps this morning at Stop & Shop.^MPink roses.  Every stamp a goddamn pink rose.^MI told the girl, pink flowers are okay for girls, but for guys they^Mshouldhave stamps with 9mm Berettas or some such thing." -Greg Rasputin
"And just in case: A MIDI isn't a code, it is a music piece that^Mis played using Crescendo." -- GGCCC Mailing List
"HMmmmmmmmm, 20 bux a month, or free on a VAX.^MTough choice, eh? (Hint:Go VAX)" -- Wolfstar
"Nixon was a goddam criminal." -- Scoop
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
"when those quakes are finished write me I want the terminator one^Mand the Star Wars one. Ok. Thanx." -- Fido GAMING
"Q: But...^M A: No way."  -- UAE FAQ
"Shit, I think I'm gonna subscribe to the Register just to read^Mthe asinine articles that they print." -- Wolfstar
THAT WACKY NODE 1 JUST LOVES TO TOSS MAIL...IT'S A MAIL TOSS FETISH!
"We're gonna give you every inch of our love -- 99 Rock, WPLR!^M FEED THE MONKEY!" -- Ad for WPLR
NO ROM BASIC^MWHAT ARE YOU?  CHEAP?
Invalid COMMAND.COM, System disobeying
Wreck the Malls with Cows on Harleys (moomoomoomoomoooo moomoomoomoo)
"Oh nO! :) I don't like WinNT." -- Fido GAMING
"(To The Moderator: This is not offtopic,^Mwe're talking about games)" -- Fido GAMING
"(Now, everybody says "I can have my terminal downloading just fine^M in the back!" The reason for that to work is that the modem^Mdoes all the work)" -- Fido GAMING
MY PET SAVED ME FROM POISON GAS!
"NUP: MORBIDSELFATTENTION^Mlamers need not apply, and dont give out the nup..." - Geek on Diginet
"right now while i am writing this message its^Mabout 75 degrees i'm sitting on the beach in a beach chair writing^Mthis message...so *i* don't have to vlidate files this week, and^Mget this minus (seth) *is* actually sun bathing!"
"As intimidating as a seventeen year old on a Huffy might be,^Mconsider the fact that most IIRG members are ex-military^Mpersonnel and would not have a second thought about dealing^Mwith trespassers on their private property."^M  -- IIRG SEC BUL
"..librarians think there gods of books.." - Letterman
"'We don't like change here!'" - The Child
"You have been killed by Lord Valgamon." - DuG's LORD setup
"I'm with Starfleet.  We don't lie." - Wesley - Season 1 - TNG
"What about plain old fashioned SEX?" - Riker
"its summer man.. ive been doing^Msummer things... like being drunk." - Hades
"I hope you are a person of vision." - Jim Ray - Fido GAMING
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
ERROR: Melted fruit snacks on keyboard.  Delete children (Y/N)?
Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same idea.
Sysoping makes you fat.
It's not the sex that keeps me going back. Honest.
"They get nervous when we open our drawers..." -- Ames cashier
"um, why would that be mr letterman hpa dude" - Joykiller
"irc is da bomb when you come to #203" - Joykiller
"I prefer the ball theory, personally. Think about it." - Wolfstar
"No Help Available^M(so leave me alone)" - Microsoft Diags Help Screen
"Installed Quake Shareware to show my friend today.  Thought he was going^Mto piss his pants laughing at it." -- Fido GAMING
"Wow, cool, other people have this game." - Fido GAMING
"No, I liked Doom.  I liked Hexen, Heretic, Wolfenstein 3D, Dark Forces, and^MDuke Nukem 3D.  I didn't like Witchaven, and I don't like Quake.  Oddly^Menough,both Witchaven and Quake have superb sound effects, but horrible^Mgraphics and level design."
"Heeeeee. With who am I wrighting. I do not now your brother^Mor something in belgium, are you stoned or something I^MLIVE IN THE NETHERLANDS..." -- Fido GAMING
"WPLR: The only station with the Million Dollar Guarentee!^MYou give us a million dollars, and your song is up next.  Guarenteed."
"Windows 95 is *NOT* another DOS add-on! It's^Ma different operating system..." -- Fido GAMING
"you fucker....when did you get moved to dairy?"
Experience greatness... even if it's in Windows.
I might be crazy, but I'm in demand!
"Of course I only have an 8meg 60mez pentium." - Fido GAMING
"Why would we do that?  It's illegal!  If you want a copy of it, then^Mgo to your local Computer store and fork out the money for it^Mlike the rest of us did!" -- Fido PASCAL
In God we trust.  All others must use the callback verifier.
"Duke 3D bothers me with all the green^Mslime growing over the place.  Yuk!!!" -- Fido GAMING
"I have swiss cheese stuck in my teeth..." - WPLR
C= Inside
"you may beat the sht out of me now." - Ruiner
"wallet chains are for new school baggy pants wearin^Mhardcore gimps" -Valgamon
DO THE WORLD NEWS POLKA!
Your ship finally comes in--but it's the Kobayashi Maru!
"your fault... you bought a compaq" - Binary
"Why stop now, just when I'm hating it?" -- MARVIN (HHGTTG)
And Jesus said unto them, "Who do you say I am?"^MAnd they replied, "you are the eschatological manifestation of the^Mground of our being, the kerygma manifested in conflict and decision^Min the humanizing process."^MAnd Jesus said, "What?"
"...but were they DRINKING when they saw it?" - Drew Scott (TV55)
"Vin is a little silly, but he is one of the coolest kids^Mdue to that. I might hang out with him today." -- Tapewyrm
"Be either hot or cold. Be not lukewarm or I shall vomit you out of^Mmy mouth."
"Korn doesn't scream about ketchup and tuna fish, therefore they^Maren't Hardcore." - Wolfstar
"When did the internet become synonamous with pedophillia and anal rape?"^M                                  --The Child
*** FINAL System shutdown message from gwright@comet.connix.com ***^MSystem going down IMMEDIATELY^Mquick reboot to fix some problems
I can't understand you, I don't speak English, just American!
Chocolates never expect to have little chocolates.
"The system is currently unavailable." - AOL
"Jeez, AOL is slow tonight." - MoNeYgripp
"Get weekly beeps from Mountain Dew giving you:..." - Diet Mountain Dew
<SegaRep> Umm, yes, with the New Processor we've designed, you'll be^M          able to step inside the cabinet, where a large man will beat^M          the crap out of you for a quarter.
Frosted Cheerios: This box never closes...^M"Oh, great, so the fucking bugs can get in it, right..."
Shit, in all it's glory...Throw it on the grill, I'm game...
Pings, pings, everywhere, and all the lag did shrink;^Mpings, pings, everywhere, nor any Coke to drink.
"If only she were dead..."^M<WHACK!>^M"YES!" -- 'The Man with Two Brains'
"dog shit too big for any real dog to have dropped" -- ... :)
KNOCK KNOCK!! "BATF! Open up or we'll gas your children!"
"Mind your own business buddy!" - Fido GAMING user to Moderator
"i partly reconstructed the HD from 8:00 till 3:00 but there are still^Mlarge holes missing..." - Binary
"The Government Lie to us?^MI can't Imagine... hahaha" - Fredrick
Aim for service, not success and success will follow.
"I'm Counselor Nirvana Floy, half human and half alien!  I'm into psychic^Mphenomena and ESP, which in my case stands for Extra-Sensual-Proportions!^MI cant explain it, but I feel things no one else feels, especically in^Mcrowded elevators!"
"Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying motherfucker, motherfucker. Every^Mtime my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT. I'm the Guns of the^MNavarone." -- Jules (Pulp Fiction)
"Hey, I remember you!  Where you been?"^M"Bathroom."^M"For six weeks??"^M"My zipper got stuck." - Summer School
Clinton thinks a good Constitution is something you get by jogging.
"yes but the CT scene does get shit on^Mnationally.... thats something.." - Binary
BUTTERMILK: It makes a body bitter.
Like a midget on a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
i cant even get it to say "press escape twice for cheese"
"If the plane goes down, I think that they will have my full undivided^Mattention whether I have my head phones or not." -FUCK 82
"Until Next time Fellow modemers..." - Undertaker
"NUDITY! SELF-MUTILATION! CHICKENS! ARRESTS! SPITTING!" (from the^MMarilyn Manson publicity page)
Leave massively incriminating evidence at home.
"IM CRUSHING YOUR HEAD! IM CRUSHING YOUR HEAD.." - Gravedigger
"eggs make me poop." - Espressoman
"A year in the making, starts in the beginning of^Mthe year." - Andy
"...delete this file, turn your 'puter off, and shoot yourself please.^MMaybe not in the head, but in the leg or something." -FUCK 56
"PorN POrn PoRn PORn PoRN POrN porN^MpOrn poRn pORn PoRN at Tommy K's!" -Letterman
"BERNARD!  Don't be a tuna head!" - Maniac Mansion
"the way i see things is that it is doom with slightly better graphics.^Mit gets boring.  i will not be registering^Mthis game." - Fido GAMING on Quake
"And may I SEE this storage facility?"^M"No."^M"And why not?"^M"Because you ddint use the magic word."^M"And what IS this magic word."^M"Please." -Ghostbusters
"I press ctrl-alt-del in 95, terminate an app, run it again. BOOM!^MBlue screen of death." -#oldwarez
Our Lady of Blessed acceleration don't fail me now...
"the gimps outnumber us roughly 20 to 1!" -Valgamon
Year 2030: Derek Kalweit still can't find the ADULT toggle in Duke3D.
KING: Disobeying me?^MCECIL: No, I don't.
"lets talk about how Libido and his brother share the same bed and^Msleap nude.. thats a good topic, and its true." -Letterman
LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!! LLAMA!!
Do you have an embarrasing line noise problem? :)
"I was looking in Barnes and Noble for a linux book, when the strangest^Mthing happened.  A Linux CD (which I was also looking for) just dropped^Mout of the book I was reading, rolled out the door, hopped off the curb^Mand into my car!..it was weird."
"Come'on!!  Nothing tastes better than a 6 year old!" - WPLR
"oh how COOL!!! OH MY GOD that's so fucking COOL!!!" - Valgamon
"whoooo-boy... the trendiness gets more blatantly obvious with^Meach passing day!!!!" - Valgamon
"Did you pop a boner?" -Spazcoland
"It was really neat, but the thing is I couldn't understand what the^Mfuck they were saying.  I had forgotten all my chinese at a very^Mearly age." - Excelcior
"This KEYPAD action is really fumbling to me." - Fido GAMING
"Does anyone have the codes to get unlimited everythings." - Fido GAMING
"Why should we leave you?"^M"Because...we...don't like you." - ST:TOS - Mudds Women
"This machine thinks its a sadmac" - Executor/DOS (Mac emulator)
"Fucked up node link" - Inside Quake beta
"I like my RUM!!" - Beaker
"Hmm... Yucky.. Beer sux!" - Undertaker
"AAAHHHH!! Unknown horrible hardware failure!!" - Test Drive III
"There, there...your father will understand you blowing him up..."
Grab Now, Will Be Gone Soon
"I come across as one whom regular people would try to jail under the^Mstalking laws or perhaps as being one who someday, after constant^Mharassment from friends, walks into the bottom of a dorm and opens up^Mwith semi-automatic weapons." -FUCK 35
Drilling for oil is boring.
This tagline invisible to all whose I.Q. exceeds mine.
"So here I sit broken hearted, tried to bargain but on me they farted."
What would you like on your Ganesh?
"*pffffff!@!@#!* hahahahah oh no! what is he gonna shoot his^Mzero-day warez at me?!" - Korpse
"what do las vegas and DuG have in common?^Mthey're both the neon capitol of the world..." - Nicotine
"wow folks give him a medal....  hey i know alot about sex cause i saw a^Mperson who had it once...." - Defiler
"Wildcat or trash?  What's the difference?" - Fido PASCAL
"I don't ask questions -- I just have FUN!" - Bugs Bunny
"HELP, I'm in desparate need of mana!" - Bunghole
"Stop it, dammit...and if you really want to go to jail, save^Myourself the suspenseful wait and go rape a donkey^Mor something...really..." - Mephistoe
"the 9-12 year old range is pimple rock.  haha" - The Child
`yer a "big-pants kid"'
"Porn and warez, porn and warez, they go together like cheese and^Mchairs. This I tell your mother you can't spank one with the other"
RF Hackers do it 'till their Megahertz.
"Now I lay me down to sleep, the Lord I pray my^MAsteroids monitor to keep.  If it should get burn-in^Mbefore I awake, it'll suck to be me, for goodness sake!"
"where are the barka loungers that go BoOoM?" - Fido GAMING on Quake
"I dont call the Internet." - Fido GAMING
"What the heck is a floating point processor anyways?????" - Fido GAMING
"Then what, Mr. Nostradamus?" - Ganesh
"I love it!  You hide and than pounce back with punk!" - The Child
"*** CONFIDENTIAL! DO NOT DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING UPDATE! ***^MWe've added slopes to our game." - MAPEDIT.TXT (Other BUILD map editor)
"I tried it out at my friend's house^Mand he has a 17 incher..." - Fido GAMING
"I'm sure if you've been monitoring alt.games.quake,^Myou would have seen hundreds of messages being posted within the^Mfirst few days of the release.  Of course, 90% of them are^Mnegative, but that's another story....." - Fido GAMING - CO-MOD
"No, YOU SUCK!" - Fido GAMING
"Yes!  I want the gay-guy-with-gravelly-voice action figer!!"
"l00zer.  Can't hold his vinegar?"
"Take it outside, god-boy." - Superintendent to Flanders - Simpsons
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
"My god... that is such a horrible pain.... In and out, in and out...^Myou've got the rythym going so well, your feeling so good, and you^Mcan see her eyes^Mrolling back, then *WHAM* you slip and whack your love shaft against^Mthe bone." - Espressoman
"i know the butters cold... but its wrapped in plastic"
"Some guy just ate 22 weiners in 12 minutes" - SS
"My 286 breeds new ones!"
"I mean, size isn't anything.. and too big... I remember Hades^Mtelling horror stories about hitting the pubic bone.." - The Child
"I can't say I am impressed with the game. Modem play is a nightmare and^Mthe counsel setup sucks. It's almost like they were in a hurry to get^Mthe thing out. It has a very unfinished feel to it." - Fido GAMING on Quake
"The engine is great, but there are a lot of major things that^Mneed fixing. I'd start with ID's attiude." - Fido GAMING on Quake
Apogee: Always worth the download.
Telefonica Spain : Welcome to the fut.;N$...^MNO CARRIER
³ºÞº³º³Û³ºÝ³ºÝ³³ "Mommy, why are the soldiers marking us?"
Runtime error 1072: Sorry, we had lousy beta testers.
Darn all you people and your two-page quotes!
Type ATDT 911 for more Help.
"After all, light doesn't grow on trees." - Fido GAMING
"Now would be a good time to fill out your registration card..."
"Cause he'll find you and kick you in the heart." - Child on Valg
"And delete all porn V*lagamon sends you were women are eating poop."
"...its fuckin impossible.. ive smoked and smoked and SMOKEd.. all^Mthat ever happened is i blacked out and passed out.. =)"
"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it."
"Real programmers don't draw flowcharts.  Flowcharts are, after all, the^Milliterate's form of documentation.  Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how^Mmuch good it did them."
"I think the ADS for the show are making Voyager's ratings drop..."
"Do we have any DOSSHELL gurus here?" - Fido DRDEBUG
"Sorry, this BBS does not support 14400 bps. Call terminated." - AF
"Wow!  I hate using my current mouse with TWO hands." - Archangel
"i know who binary is you idiot. and i don't -CARE- who he is." - Ruiner
Give and you might receive. Take and be sure of it.
When the trust goes out of a relationship, it's no fun lying anymore.
"And remember..win95 WORKS!"
"Whoa, those flashbacks don't last as long as they used to..." - Animaniacs
"one word post: How?" - The Child
"I mean us real programmers have^Mserious things to talk about here!" - Fido PASCAL - RIGHT ON, MAN!
What are you looking for, funny-boy?
McWorld! Hey, it could happen!
The Best Play Here..  [Well, now they use Emulators..]
I'll buy THAT for a dollar...
"Goddam!!       Falling down!" - Hydlyde 3 - MSX - ROM
"YOISHO!YOISHO!YOISHO!YOISHO!" - Bubble Bobble 2 - ROM - Gameboy
"I can't stand ANSI art, but I like ANSI text a lot." - Scoop
Media sucks. So do oneliners^Mbut that's all that's coming out of me today.
"Yea, I'm sorry, I just haven't fucking^Mused analog since the mid eighties." - Synaptik Phreak
"In the past I have always been one to think any and all information^Mshould be free to everyone else.  Recently I have changed my view on this^Mmostly due to other people wanting information from me." -FUCK 108
This program will compile to about 1,632k of nonsense.
"P.S. Have you ever made a program with Pascal?" - Fido PASCAL
"And when you say Pascal is a programing language,^Mwhat do you mean by this???" - Fido PASCAL
"I was wondering if pascal is some sort of door making program?" - Fido PAS
SCABS: New food source?
"CallerID Active....... Call Has Been Logged" -DuG
"Do you have crabs?" - El Jefe
> will you people please stop this bullshit now.^M^MWell tell your boy to stop talkin shit ...
"I have been hearing 'oxymoron' a lot recently, used, I think, where^M'paradox' would once have been used.  Are they synonymous?"^M         -- Fido OS/2
²²²²² LOOKOUTDAMMIT..!!! I'm áeta Testing!! ²²²²²
"its free sex when youve already paid" -Matt, on Ironic
...I love children!  They taste just like chicken. - Marilyn Manson
Computers run on smoke.  If it leaks out they won't work.
"My pants are starting to leak." - The Child
"Satan is my strawberry." - The Child
"Marge...do you have other men in this house?  RADIOACTIVE MEN?" - Homer
DADDY FARTED AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!!
Communication is the Key to fighting back.
"Never approach your horse from the rear...for several reasons...^Mone of which...is very disgustin." -Freddy Pharkas
The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof^Mreminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy^MRoute 66 Gulf latrine.
"ask the child...its the !K option, and the bastards on this board made^M me remove it from my sig..:(" -- Letterman
THE ORANGE POWDER TURNS INTO **TANG**?!?!?!?
"Easy credit terms available." - Satan
"<The Devel will Live in me FOREVER>" - Fido PASCAL
"BH>How do you write a DEMO?."^Mbegin^M        write('a DEMO');^Mend.                 - Fido PASCAL
"Longint is just too small" - Fido PASCAL
'I wanna get a recorder that goes "I'm just a scared white kid from^MMadison" everytime I press it.  that would rock.' - The Child
"That moral makes me feel all warm and squishy.  Either that or I need^Mto wear diapers." - Dot - Animaniacs
"I am a narc. I work for the department of lame users. I have arrested^MVirulent. Goodbye." - Dark Deth
"What are they going to do, cast spells on me? "magic missile"^Mperhaps? or how about "cone of cold?" or wait, maybe they'll curse my next^Mpaycheck (a foreign concept to them) so that when i touch it, my hands will^Mbegin to rot! Ghastly, I'm sure!"-V
"ps!! method man, don't erase this! lets cut the shit, everyone^Malready thinks we are both lame" - Internal Stalker
THIS YEAR ALONE...$3,763,506,222.00^MWORTH OF SOFTWARE HAS BEEN PIRATED!^MWhat have you done to contribute?
"I know that when you compile a TP program with debug information on,^Myou get a code that contains the original pascal source in it - the^Mturbo debugger can extract it and show it." - Fido GAMING
"Please, also who wants a 2D game^Manyway(besides your-self)?  3D is closer to^Mreal-life, and when you use 3D graphics it looks much better."^M             --Fido GAMING
"Hmmm..., this code can't be much efficient" - FPK Pascal Error Msg
"Run your DOS, Windows, and OS/2 programs faster than ever,^Mtogether, in the same graphical environment. Multitask^Mpowerful applications with fear - without slowing down!"^M                                -IBM OS/2 for Windows Ad
"Your optional 500-Sheet Paper tray assembly is covered under^Myour printer's one year warranty, or 90 days, whichever is^Mlonger."                        -HP Laserjet 4 Manual
"Slide the exit paper support in until it snaps securely in place.^M"NOTE: The paper exit support does not actually attach to the printer."^M                       -Canon BJ230 Quickstart Guide
"After freeways buckled, buildings collapsed, and phone lines^Mwere cut off, personal computers linked to online message^Mcenters were often the only means of obtaining critical^Minformation."                   -The LA Times
"Dictionary of the Living World:... See animals that have been^Mextinct and made the population climb back to safety."^M                                -Tiger Software Catalog
"Notice to User: By breaking the seal of this envelope, you^Maccept the terms of the enclosed license agreement enclosed."^M                                -Adobe Font Pack for Windows
"Right now, 386 chips are two generations behind. The latest^M chip, which some call the 586, is officially called the^M _Plentium_... The _Plentium_ chips are new, are in somewhat^M short supply, and are expensive."       -Physician's Management
--Never touch the lens or use anything to touch the lens.^M--To remove fingerprints, or dust, etc. from the lens, wipe^Mthe lens thoroughly with a cotton swab.^M                                -Mitsumi CDRom Drive Manual
* Percentage of Canadians who say they approve of the^M  Information Superhighway: 62.7^M* Percentage of Canadians who say they know what the^M  Information Superhighway is: 54.4^M                                -Financial Post Magazine
"Immediate Hire: 40,000 - 50,000 dollars. Division of high^Mprofile CO. Seeking a programmer analyst with 305 years UNIX^Mexperience."                    -The Ft Collins Coloradoan
"Like your personal desk, your WP Office mail box can be^Mdivided into two sections: One bin for outgoing items, one for^Mincoming items, and one for personal items."^M                                -WP Office Manual
The latest in portable powerpacks: "Zenith Data Systems^M486/SLC Notebook computer: Includes a handy carrying case, an^MAC adaptor, and removable Nickel Metal High Dried Battery Pack."^M                                -Layman's Guide Catalog
"Intel said it will honor all customer request to replace^Mpentium chips, free of charge and no questions asked. Intel^Mwill provide guidance for do-in-yourself pentium installers."^M                                -Contra Costa Times
"There are two kinds of customers; those that have been the victims of toll^M fraud, and those who will be." - MCI, 1991
OS/2: The sane way to jump out of windows.
"OH JUST STOP!!!" - Binary
"y0 i WaNT sOme wAreZ.. i wAnt dUke nUkem 3D .. i wIll uPloAd sOme pOrn^MiF u wAnt iT!!^M^M!! plEaSe vaLidaTE mE i aM elIte !!"
ska, techno, hardcore, industrial, polka!
"What is Virtical retrace and sprites?" - Greg - Fido PASCAL
"May Steve Winter become your bossnode!" - Fidonet Curse
"And what the heck, are you a saint? Let him enjoy those games for^Mfree. Nintendo and Sega are rich, so let poor people^Mlike us live happy." - Fido GAMING
"I dont think i can get off ever again after watching that"
"I am Desmond!  Defeater of Dwarves!  Pride of Princes!  Stroker of Self!^MEr...scatch that last part." -Knights of Xentar
Once again, I must agree with Valgamon.  His feet are very tender and his^Mbig toe makes the most splendid popping sound when I remove it from my^Mmouth.  My only regret is the athlete's foot, I suggest you try Dr. Sholl^Mfoot balm powder." - Ry
"You should try some air!"^M"Why, I've got lungs..."
"well i was up at the meriden mall tonight and a big kiddie-playground^Mwas being built.. it consimes the entire area to the left of the atm..."^M                 -- Joykiller
"I will build myself a copper tower^MWith four ways out and no way in^MBut mine the glory, mine the power. . ."^M    - Louis MacNeice (1907-1963)
"Why bother..ehh...there 0K! the text in^Mthe file name is probabaly only 1 byte" - Letterman
"The following program is not even close to real life. Sit back^Mand enjoy the show while we make a killing."
"PS: I buy music for minors." - Dam - FUCK #23
"I've told you a million times not to loot my Bell trucks so I have no^Malternative but to tell you once again not to loot my Bell trucks!"
"Sorry, sir, we were just trying to find some wire for our^Mscience fair project, but as there appears to be nothing^Mhere but coffee grounds and cigarette ashes, we had better^Mget going. Have a nice day!"  - Karl Marx dumpster diving...
"The Internet is the most publicly active forum for free speech, and as^Msuch should have the highest safeguards from the government."
I've got a kitty cat. He's fat, but he's a nice kitty. His breath smells^Mlike catfood. Ms. Hoover, I ate my red crayon.
Are you a Quarter Pounder With Cheese^MDon't Lie^MDon't Lie^MI'm a Pickel^MWould you like Some Velcro?
"Want to see us trade? Want to see it again?" - fATE Couriers
"You again?  Uh-oh, better hide the virgins." -Knights of Xentar
"I fear I must disagree. One HD failure doesn't mean all PB be^Mdamned. And while that 800 number is joke, you really didn't pay for^Many support when you bought the computer." - Fido DR.DEBUG
hey mike whats up not much here why dont you call me some time well i got^Mto go now see you when i see you bye the whey incase you didnt now i got my^Mcomputer 420
"I am NOT a loony! Why should I be tied with the epithet 'loony' merely^Mbecause I have a pet halibut??" -Monty Python
"THERE IS ALSO THE MATTER OF PRINCESS DIANA'S TIT."
"Happiness is finding the owner of a lost bikini!"
"i have thrown a IBM XT out a 4th story window on concrete" -Binary
"OK, ok, let me get out my old pocket Constitution..." - Ganesh
"There's a purchacing decision I have never seen before.." - ToBy
os2sucksthebiggestmonkeyshitinthewholeworldandallwholikeitshouldjustdiecuzthey^Mareallwindowswannabelamerswhoprollydontevenunderstanddosandlikethemousesomucht^Mhattheyranawaytosomeislandandscreweditandnowhashundredsofmicerunningaroudthere^Mhouseandwill
"Sorry, I dont deal with magical-types."^M"I'll give you my treasure!"^M"I have plenty of treasure."^M"You can have me."^M"Done!" -Knights of Xentar
"Bother...", said Pooh as he found out that Intel was Inside.
"Three people can keep a secret... If two are dead" - BFranklen
"basketball girls are all horses so dont even bother.." -Hades
"We talked and I found out her name was Laura, she was 20 and from^MChesire, so I ask if she knew Valgamon, and she goes, "That fucking nerd!^MHe wouldn't change my grades and I never graduated!"^MLou, I don't think she liked you." -The Child
"Truly pathetic, 3D0 boy." - Fido GAMING
"Every book I read, it kind of tries to instill this fear in you that^Mif you don't code very strictly to the Kernighan and Ritchie standard,^Myou'll burn in a pit of hell for all eternity..."
"I got the reg'd version and it was so good i loaded my pants!"^M"did ya save it in a little jar?!?!?!" - Fido GAMING
I'm just wodnering if anyone is interested in the new DuG compilation^Malbum that came out today...
STAPLES - STAPLES - STAPLES - STAPLES - STAPLES - STAPLES - STAPLES
"no he works at officemax... saying staples at him is fun... do it" - Binary
"Theres an NRA meeting this week: I'll need my Wonderbra."
"I'm here to compile optimal code and chew bubble gum...^M                    ...and I'm all out of gum." - Duke Nukem Compiler!
"Its an OS, they are what hackers argue about instead of sports." -The Child
"Prince easily looses his temper!" - Eblan Guard - FF2
"New alfa release (v1.0b) available now."
"Thank you for visitng our WWW page. Mr. Buchanan is new to this mode^Mof communication (in fact, people are often shocked to hear that Mr.^MBuchanan first got a telephone in 1984), so please bear with us."^M - "Pat Buchanan's WWW page"
"Error Line 8: E1141: Expecting end of line but found 'spam'" - Watcom C
When I snap, I'll kill him first.
memw[$DEAD:$BEEF]:=$FEED will speed up your 386 by 10Mhz!!
I take my pet Lion to rap concerts all the time.  He has to eat...
"Hiroshima '45 -- Chernobyl '84 -- Windows '95"
"Well you see Lou, I knew you were on this list, so of course your sheer^Mbrilliance in the h/p/a world would shine through, and like Sir Galahad,^Mbring forth the truth and honesty that was needed in this deslote world."^M    -The Child
"No madam, I'm a burglar, I burgle people."
I can do PPP in the toilet!
There are no unbeatable odds...there are no believable gods.
"G> Sup'?^M No thanks.  I already ate."
"Binary hates my taglines he's going to del me HELP!" -Mephistoe
"I listen to what I want, Chaka listens to what he/she/it wants." - Valgamon
"i turned on the tv the other day and decided to watch ricki lake, it was^Mkinda cool cause they had a 'my mother thinks i look like a side show freak'^Mor something like that and there were all people like me and my friends"^M     -The Joykiller
I'm a modemer and I'm OK.  I post all night and I sleep all day.
I write all my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy routines in C.
C:\GRAPHICS\GIF\NAUGHTY\FILTHY\DISGUSTING\WOW!
After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.
To understand a program you must become both the machine and the program.
There can never be a computer language in^Mwhich you cannot write a bad program.
There are always at least two ways to program the same thing.
All the simple programs have been written, and all the good names taken.
"A hacker does for love what others^Mwould not do for money." - Laura Creighton
A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.
You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
Your fault -- core dumped.
Your password is pitifully obvious.
[Unix] is not necessarily evil, like OS/2.  - Peter Norton
You might have mail.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
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¥˜¡¼(º(t¡º(+Ê(Òëjj j ÿ6Ä(è6ƒÄ‰F¨‰Vª€>Æ( t%j j šX¥ up your operating system!
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
My Go  this  amn keyboar   oesn't have any  's.
Old mail has arrived.
Your mail was never sent. Ha, ha.
No program done by a hacker will work unless he is on the system.
Meets quality standards:  Compiles without errors.
If I had it all to do over again, I'd spell creat with an "e".  - Kernighan
I smell a wumpus.
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
How many ways do I love thee?  My accumulator overflows!
Hackers have kernel knowlege.
God is real, unless declared integer.
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
Every program in development at MIT expands until it can read mail.
Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!
E Pluribus Unix
Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
Avoid temporary variables and strange women.
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
A bad random number generator:  1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1
You HAD mail waiting, but I read it, and answered it for you.
You HAD mail waiting, but I read it, and deleted it.
"I bet the human brain is a kludge." - Marvin Minsky
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake^Mwithout ketchup and mustard.
Paul Tsongas virus:  Pops up on^MDecember 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."
PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus : Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Have you heard about the new Cray? It's so fast, it executes^Man infinite loop in 6 seconds.
Have you heard about the new Cray? It's so fast, it requires^MTWO halt instructions to stop it!
Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?^MA: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
Q: Did you hear about the Windows crystal ball?^MA: Ask it something and it replies:^M  "Answer unclear.  Add 20 Meg of RAM and ask again later."
"I have written a neural net program with one layer of two neurons,^MI can train it to play pong, but the big question is..." - Fido PASCAL
"Give this guy a doggie bone.  I think that the trade publications^Msaid this a long time ago." - Fido GAMING
..and have you tried to play some of the more demanding DOS games without^Mswitching to the Simulated DOS that Windows95 includes?
Programmers convert coffee to programs.
Haven't we exchanged SCUDs before?
"Boys, this is a _direct_ violation of Borland's licensing agreement,^Mwhich those of us who have _actually paid_ for the software genuinely^Mabhor. By doing what you ask, you are breaking the law and can be^Mliable for criminal prosecution." FidoPASCAL
I heard somewhere that Jackie Chan will be playing the next Batman,^Mand Wesley Snipes will be the next Robin. Chan is a great pick,^Mbut I prefer Alan Alda as Robin. My sources also tell me that^Meither Jamie Farr or Tyne Daly will be playing Mr.Freeze
"Don't worry, it's all part of the program." - The Mice
Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die.
Oh, you ALWAYS get to be Jesus!
DOUCHE! The Italian word for twelve!
I got th' Homely, lonely, no money, Sysop Blues!
ANSI is banned in San Quenton; Too many escape procedures.
A hundred stars do not equal the light of the one moon.
All the world's a stage and I'm waiting for the love scene...
"Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write it shoud be^Mhard to use!"
Waiting for my '$99.95 dBase offer' from Borland!
"and Our product is SQL 'ready'", Borland International.
"Beverly Hills Cop: The slow, white version!" -- Crow T. Robot
"I have searched 329 boards, but I cannot find any ASCII.SYS driver.^MEveryone and his friggin' dog has an ANSI.SYS driver, but what the^Mhell good is that to me?" - Fido FUNNY
"Oh no. Not again." - Bowl of violets.
"Win 95 is great." - Fido GAMING
"Win95" is a WARNING label!
Windows95 *OR* Sony's "My First OS"
"..alright.. if the ASCII upload wants to skip a line, go ahead!"
"I can do a mile in 8:00 while shitting a whole pie" - Spazcoland
US non sequitur society--we don't make sense, but we sure like pizza.
"Toxicologist Lee Hearn found traces of cocaine on 97 percent^Mof $20 bills tested at random in New York and five other U.S.^Mcities."^M       GO GET IT GUYS!
"People will never believe a small lie, but they'll always believe a big^Mone."  -Adolf Hitler
"I want my own system... I'd install Unix.  Not Linux." - Libido
"dammit watch it with that damn ego..^Myou almost knocked my eye out" - Binary
"Do you have what it takes to Beat The Meat?" - WPLR
"Oh yeah, we always put a 10k resistor in there."
"True, I talk of dreams; which are the children of an idle brain, begot^Mof nothing but vain fantasy; which is as thin of substance as the air."^M                    - Romeo & Juliet, Act I Scene iv Verse 96-99
"I got the reg'd Duke3D and it was so good i loaded my pants!" - Fido GAMING
Windows Error #002: Actual use attempted.  System crash inevitable.
No damn chains can hold me to the ground.
Theres a fat man in the bathtub!!
"Congratulations, you just said something that everyone else here already^Mknew. How do you feel, and what are you going to do now?" - Wolfstar
"I'm not trying to put you down but please^Mbuy a book about dos or something..." - Fido GAMING
"Emulators very cleverly convince an expensive, modern^Mcomputer that it is, in fact, 15 years out of date." - DN
"..."^M"Hey!  Nice elipsis!"^M"Thanks..."
"KILL HIM NNYWAY DAMMIT!! BOB IF YOU^MCAN HEAR ME WE ARE ENEMYS...Grrr Grrr..." - Fido GAMING
"That RANGE RIDER JERK, IS MY DAD!" - Fido GAMING
"CHANGE ME BACK INTO A MAN FOR GODS SAKE!!!" - Fido GAMING
Cheese puts everybody in a good mood!
"This is me the coolest guy on earth. I am new here and would like to say^Mthat is this is the best bbs I have ever seen. You got some really good^Mpictures and some really nice girls on them, keep in touch with me the king^MJames Anderson!" -FIDO Pascal
I've filled it with backups and outdated warez.  I love it.
"It's copyrighted material, to copy is to pirate, ie, warez."
"the monkey is just an enemy, ignore him"
"look, you need to learn how to carry on a conversation without^Mbeing a shithead." -Hades
"Marge, I thought I had an appettite for destruction...and all I wanted^Mwas a club sandwich..." - Simpsons
"Homer Simpson breaks my pig..."
"Some men see things as they are and say 'why'.^MI dream things that never were and say 'why not'."
Apple ][ Forever
Programming is an art form that fights back.
"Oh yes! The warez! The Warez!" - Binary
"Whoa!  That sounds cool.  But think, if you were a turtle and had^Mgummy bears the size of your feet, you might have trouble going to the^Mbathroom.  Or maybe not." - El Jefe
"Who do you think you are, Bruce Lee?  You can't just go in with your fists^Mflying!" - Mallow - MARIO RPG
"The young frog, MALLOW, who doesn't look AT ALL like a frog, joins^MMario in his quest." - Mario RPG
"So sad to see your only source of joy is bashing me.^M Get a dildo." - The Child
"hi buddie you are probably wondering what i mean by DONT KILL ME Im^MZOMBIE you killed me yesterday well ttyl." - Fido GAMING
"I apparently deleted all the above from my hard drive in File^MManager, but are they _really_ gone or just hiding and taking up^Mspace?  Thanks." - Fido GAMING
Hell hath no fury like an Internet user cut off.
"Most of us are close-minded, masterbating proles who contain no^Mindividuality and are a mere reflection of their surroundings"
"The music is only available on GUS soundcard. You think Soundblaster^Mowners are persecuted?? You're right!!" - Black & White - Distortion
"Too drunk to fuck...Since 1993" - Distortion
"Legalize drugs and make Win95 illegal." -Nighteyes
"I don't like rap but I play it^Mbecause it's funny to listen to..." - Undertaker
"When I can't concentrate on what's being said at the table next to me^M'cause some drunk welfare monkey is loudly declaring he wants a bacon^Mcheeseburger at Roy Rogers ACROSS THE DAMNED FOOD COURT, then that is NOT NORMAL!" - Wolfstar
Windows: Next best thing to sand in your hard disk.
On 5-11-1937 SPAM granted its trademark by U.S. Patent Office.
On 5-11-1951 Jay Forrester patents computer core memory.
Unprecedented performance: Nothing ever ran this slow before.
"Computers aren't like baseball or figure skating, where the parents think^Mthey know a lot about it." -Will Harvey
"Oh the things people do these days just for 8 MB RAM..." - Scoop
"Counselor, can I, uh, use your com-badge?" --  Riker
Congress isn't doing it's job - I still have 2 dollars!
"Oh, Poo!" - Sam Donaldson - Prime Time Live
Twister: you've played The Board Game, now see The Movie!
"you have that perfect bob mentality. i like that in a person. good luck^Mand lotsa fish!" - Deliah
"if your under 1 you will not be able to drive after 9:00pm"
No one touches Bob Doles Peanut Butter...
"If you're not using Windows95, you are not using a reliable operating^Mplatform.  That's a fact Jack!" - Dad
"Please swear only when appropriate and NECESSARY." - BoBNet 'Moderator'
"Imagine the places Cool Whip could go..." - TV
Now Your Kids can Play with Poo