TitleGen.java

package info.loenwind.foo;

import java.util.Random;

public class TitleGen {

  // When a possessed pair of jeans begins to kill the staff of a trendy clothing store, it is up to Libby, an idealistic young salesclerk, to stop its bloody
  // rampage.

  static final String sentence = "When a %1$s %2$s begins to %3$s the %4$s of a %5$s %6$s, it is up to %7$s, a %8$s %9$s %10$s, to %11$s its %12$s %13$s.";

  static final String[] pre_actor = { "possessed", "evil", "demonic", "alien", "ancient", "cursed" };
  static final String[] actor = { "pair of jeans", "doll", "puppet", "mummy", "amulet", "blender" };

  static final String[] action = { "kill", "mame", "lick", "murder", "haunt", "drown" };

  static final String[] target = { "staff", "people", "students", "citizens", "visitors", "elderly" };
  static final String[] pre_location = { "trendy", "small", "quaint", "hidden", "corporate", "global" };
  static final String[] location = { "clothing store", "town", "blender factory", "university", "high school", "office" };

  static final String[] name = { "Libby", "Jack", "Ralph Bohner", "Tom", "Jill", "Satan" };

  static final String[] pre1_occupation = { "idealistic", "desinterested", "naïve", "inexperienced", "nerdy", "agnostic" };
  static final String[] pre2_occupation = { "young", "middle-aged", "elderly", "sceptic", "fresh" };
  static final String[] occupation = { "salesclerk", "police officer", "bus driver", "programmer", "student", "priest" };

  static final String[] antiaction = { "stop", "prevent", "investigate", "experience", "cover up", "document" };

  static final String[] pre_result = { "bloody", "sweet", "shocking", "terrifying", "heart-shattering", "unstoppable" };
  static final String[] result = { "rampage", "revenge", "murder-spree", "shopping trip", "plans", "infiltration" };

  public static void main(String[] args) {
    for (int i = 0; i < 10; i++)
      System.out.println(String.format(sentence, of(pre_actor), of(actor), of(action), of(target), of(pre_location), of(location), of(name),
          of(pre1_occupation), of(pre2_occupation), of(occupation), of(antiaction), of(pre_result), of(result)));
  }

  static final Random rand = new Random();

  static String of(String... words) {
    return words[rand.nextInt(words.length)];
  }

}