Response

response.txt

I sent you that blog post of mine and you can see from the comments many other sex-repulsed asexual women feel similarly that in general all sexual attraction directed toward them "feels creepy" to think about. While most aces I know are more frank talking *about* sex and the nature of sexual attraction than allosexuals, and many aces are comfortable with sexually explicit discussions - though not all,  for some aces sex-repulsion does extend to feeling uncomfortable in these conversations - it is certainly complicated to judge what the average ace would find "creepy". Creepy is a word with complicated connotations

> I'm sorry. I just replied without looking up what "sex repulsion" actually means. I guess sometimes I can feel discomfort or repulsion from a particular person (even people who are arousing), and I assumed that was what you meant by "sexual repulsion". I'm not in the mood to fully comprehend what it means right now, I'm sorry.

See this Twitter thread btw:

> I liked the little YouTube video you made. It was obviously meant to be something that would appeal to a straight girl in a way that is sexual (I think that it arousing). It's kind of funny how you can sometimes feel if something is meant to be arousing even if you don't really feel it yourself.  
> I've started to think that often times I use the word "sexually attractive" when I mean "arousing". Virtually all post-pubescent, pre-menaupausal people who are born female I am sexually attracted to. I don't actually do anything about it without arousal. I think that's what I meant before - asexuals often times don't have a very arousing look.
> There's something about my romantic orientation that I don't fully understand. Sometimes it almost feels like I almost want to be "the girl". I'm not sure if it's because I am homoromantic or because I'm just sort of submissive to my partner in a dating sense.

And aces who watch porn or read erotic fiction (or fanfiction) and feel turned on by ut but in a detached/voyeuristic way where they don't wish to be involved and don't imagine themselves as part of the sex is a common phenomenon btw, tons of Aces relate to autochorissexual as a description for that phenomenon

“It is a common misconception that all asexuals are repulsed by sex everywhere and in everything. While some asexuals are, some are not.”

> I don't think porn has to involve anything that would be attractive if you saw it in real life - I just think it has to be arousing. Like for example I once imagined having sex with a girl with no face. I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't sound weird, but I basically found a photo that looked just like the fantasy, but the girl had a face and I blurred it out in photoshop so her face was just a skin colored blur and it was creepy as fuck. 
> Like I kept imagining that there were eyes hidden behind the blur and that it was watching me or that I was going to bump into no-face-girl somewhere and she would have a knife or something. But in my head it got me off. So yeah, I think that's more of a measure of your ability to be aroused than your sexual orientation. With guys I think the only reason that there is this correlation between porn and sexual orientation is that people who guys are sexually attracted to usually have things on their bodies that are arousing.

Three way you responded to some sections of my blog post make me think you don't really get it, which is understandable lol but being told the sex as worth principle is bad is not news, you could click the link through to the other ace blogger talking about that, men and women alike have it in ways that make it itself not sexism or only a woman thing but it's certainly not something aces, especially aces who plan to never be sexually active for life, are ever gonna claim is positive or even neutral lol. It clearly is negative

> I sometimes get the impression that at the time you wrote that blog post, you were kind of insecure about some things. I really don't care if you are fat or not. If you care, it should be for you and not for anybody else. I really don't care what my friends look like. They could look like trolls and I don't care because they are my friends. If they do care about their look, it should be because they want to.
> Like I had a friend. He was beautiful. He was really into male fashion. He cared about his look, but he wanted to. I really wouldn't have had a problem if he didn't.

And you telling me online dating isn't like real life, they're just horny and copying and pasting "You're beautiful" messages in response to the thought that maybe some Straight men do find me attractive is a weird roundabout way of telling me straight men in contexts offline would never think I was beautiful which isn't really what I'm craving to hear,  just FYI. I don't want to be ugly AND I don't want to be sexually attractive really. It's complicated for sure lol but... I don't see how your feedback is possibly helpful. I wasn't on a swipe app btw. This was 5 years ago. I was on ok cupid mainly, a little of plenty of fish

> The word "beautiful" can be sexual or non-sexual depending on context. Like I mentioned before, I sometimes use that word to refer to males (like if I visit a male friend and open the door and say "hey beautiful"). And sometimes I mean it in more of a sexual way (like if a woman is undressing and I think "Oh, I hope this one is beautiful").
> As an aside, the whole "hey beautiful" thing is something I sometimes see women doing to other women. In my most recent post, I mentioned how sometimes my personality seems more feminine than my appearance. That might be a good example.
> You are beautiful, but you have to think you're beautiful.
> Let me tell you a little secret. Straight women do not find me arousing. I talk like a gay man (fast and high pitched), which they do not find arousing. Romantically, I'm not the dominant one, which most straight women don't like (I'm not sure if it's for romantic or sexual reasons). I am not "hot" - the ladies do not scream or giggle.
> But despite all that, I continue to be who I am anyway because I like it. Nobody else liking you can substitute for you liking you.