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Some things to remind you why we live in a cold, deterministic, deluded world :)
There is nothing after death, you will disappear, like you were never existed, as if your story was never told.
There was nothing before your birth and there will be nothing after your death.
Your free will is an illusion, you are a living organism just like every other animal, you are built with similar systems as to all mammals, you are not so different than a rat roaming the street, searching for potential mate, shelter, or food.
Your life matters just like the animal that had to be murdered in order for you to eat it's meat few days ago.
You are made out of material, you are nothing special among the 7.6 billion humans living on earth.
Everything you ever did was already done by another person, every thought you've had has being thought before.
There is nothing to life without emotions, every action of any human has a motive, desire, a pleasure or a potential reward to be made are behind it, if you were truly emotionless, you would probably be sitting in a chair, suffering from schizophrenia, Very Very Severe Depression, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Dementia or any other brain disabling disease, without the ability to pursue anything meaningful or worthwhile. The human brain scans for potential rewards or hedonic feelings to be felt and scale's it's motivation accordingly, not the other way around, if you think and can benefit from a motivational quote, speech or technic, your motivation problem was never significant in the first place, it's only your possible positivism talking to itself, it goes by: brain>motivation for the person to use, not the other way around. If you take a look on a zoomed out version of a naturally vital motivated person's life, telling you that it's just in your head and you need to be more resilient, positive and less lazy, you'll see that this person had plenty of motivation his entire life and it's a part of his personality, things actually go easier for him, and since it's the only thing he knows, he projects that to others.
Altruism exists just to extend your own ego and make you feel better.
Every person your consciousness perceives has a status attached to it, mostly determined by their serotonin activity in the medial frontal cortex,
You will unconsciously perceive a person's worth and status before you ever know something about him, by sensing their posture, facial content, and body language they are projecting to the world
People with depression, (unaltered by medication) are likely to be perceived as socially inferior, meaning people would want less association with them.
Suicide caused by depression is not caused by an "illness", it's a biological natural selection mechanism that exists to remove such person from the pool, who "allowed" himself to be defeated so harshly and be unable to respond or process stress correctly.
Depression is caused by Stress, it's a way of the body to show defeat, isolate an organism in order to recollect and stop the organism from approaching the same stressor again. People who are prone to depression are much less efficient in processing stress.
A mouse being exposed to constant stress will very much less likely to fight for it's life when being put in a water pool without a way of escape.
A person who've committed suicide would be more likely to be perceived as a loser, a give up, weak person, even by his relatives, due to his lower social status perceived before death, also as a way to remove responsibility.
Severe depression will likely casue a person lose his empathy, his social connections and love for others, making him disconnected from society, being unable to communicate his feeling and situation successfully.
The difference between a depressed state of mind and a healthy vital person is immense that the healthy person is unable to actually feel or understand the sufferer pain.
Most successful people were already genetically determined to be successed, due to their highlighted abilities and IQ.
Most people who are in prison for illegal activities have had a determined brain dysfunction related to empathy, moral, planning and consequences foreseeing.
although reality seems and feels real, it's just a model of an inter subjective area in your brain, Think of a game server, You are the host and the player, you are playing a game inside your own game, every social structure or construct you perceive as real, is just an illusion to keep you in your place and status, knowing who to be submissive to and who to be dominant to, this applies to people as well as objects, rule systems, institutions, ranking systems, everything that contains some kind of an hierarchy . a depressed person, feeling as if he will never catch up to reality and his mates, feeling exposed to reality as weak or inferior, as if the world is going to devour you and so on, missed the train, too misunderstood by everyone, not on the same line of communication, well, they actually feel their place in the social hierarchy, as harsh as it sounds, without a fast relief or response, such person might actually kill himself, because he really felt that he is so down the hierarchy and so inferior he will never catch up back, and his relatives are so much above him, and it sure does feel fatalistic, as if it will never get better and you will always feel like that, from experience.
One is able to further increase his social status by downing others, if you are aware enough, those you perceive as inferior to you, you will constantly bully them, even in tiny ways, decline their beliefs, opinions, unconsciously, take their point less seriously, make small harassments, being witty and "outsmart" them, this is why bullying exists, even at such young age, it's imprinted in the human biology.
Your consciousness literally filters humans according to their status and yours before the information even reaches your awareness, meaning that if a person who is more highly statused and is more meaningful to your consciousness will pop out more than the crowd, while the crowd will be less noticeable and significant, this can even be with your loved ones or family.
The more you are higher on the status heirachy the most likely you will associate yourself with higher perceived individuals, and avoid the lower.
The more active your dorsomedial frontal cortex the higher your ego will be, as well as the further you will be willing to do in order to win a challenge or successed, the stronger your beliefs and set of opinions would be and the sense of belonging into a society, and the higher your ability to simulate other character's perceptions in your mind, every outside world object would be simulated as a dynamic object living it's own life and cycle.
Think of a character from a book, how she will act, how she would react to certain situation and so on, the more efficient your brain executive functions, the more likely you will be able to feel and calculate other's state of mind and motives, this helps greatly to make sure one is able to success and socially adapt, forsee future dangers or rewards.
Most children are born out of parent's ego extension, in order to find meaning "outside" of oneself, bringing children due to peer pressure and stigma, age limitation, every female is biologically determined to bring children, even if she chooses not to. whether the cause, her whole biology is based of of that, females living without meaning, hoping for a sustained meaning or occupation.
Women are biologically attracted to perceived higher status males, as they can "provide" better protection, higher chance of survival of the potential child and herself.
The lower the status male is the higher chances of a female betraying him, divorcing, putting him down or harssing and looking down to, perceive herself higher than him.
A depressed man is more likely to be left, be less supported, To be abandoned by a female partner due to the lowered status, than a depressed female.
If you look on a month, few weeks or days back, it is most likely that you will repeat the same things you did there, you are stuck in a loop that is unconsciously predeterminated and fixed for you, unless a very drastic change occurs or something from the outside requires you to.
Normally a rat will always choose to drink sugared water instead of regular water every time. after exposing him to extreme stress, causing biological depression, his preference and his will to acquire and drink the sugared water will be abolished, the same goes to humans, with every human behavior, depression reduces your sense of self, motivation, preferences and set of personality characteristics until you are left apathetic and unhuman.
How can a god exist, a god, appearing to you, only to you, out of all of the humans in the world, A morally Judgmental god, that you talk to inside your own head, your inner monologue, talking to itself, a god who tracks every action you take, making you to act accordingly, making you feel guilty if you done wrong, a god to pray to, a god to ask for desires, dreams and hopes to occur, you must've somehow by now understood that it's just a construct of the human mind, your "self" talking with it's own "meta-cognition" that tracks every move you make, you can't be so special, that "god" chose you, over 7.6 billion other humans, perhaps even more worthy than you, you must've understood by now that everyone with a functioning healthy brain has this "higher" entity, that thinks about thinking, why is that when we get depressed, suddenly our belief in god fades away, and we start to ask ourselves if this god actually exists, because our "self" becomes disconnected from us, our inner person, the "immaterial" entity get's reduced, we no longer have a motive behind our thoughts, there is no one to judge, because there is no action to take, the self starts to dissolve. why is that in Manic people in an episode start to talk with "GOD", claiming they're the chosen ones, feeling as if they solved most humanity secrets? because their ego and their sense of self has become so amplified, their boundaries between the self and their meta-cognitive, reality-testing constructs become so fragile they might actually start to go insane.
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