Here's a controller action you could insert into a Rails project. Accept a block of text and transform it into the language of Fake Grimlock. http://fakegrimlock.com/ Creative Commons Attribution License 3.0.

example_controller.rb

def fake_grimlockify
  if params[:text].present?

    @text_output = ""
    params[:text].split(" ").each do |word|
      if word.size > 4
        @text_output += word.singularize.upcase + " " #.force_encoding('UTF-16').gsub("\xE2\x80\x99","").force_encoding('UTF-8')
      else
        @text_output += word.upcase + " " #.force_encoding('UTF-16').gsub("\xE2\x80\x99","").force_encoding('UTF-8')
      end
    end

    punctuation_marks = [" ",",",".","!","?",":","-"]

    # delete whole words
    # "\n",
    ["IS","SO","THE","A","AN","IF","HOW","THESE","THOSE","MY","HE","THEY","WE","SHE","IT","THAT","FOR","WHICH","WHO","WHOSE","OUR","IN","ON","ABOUT","AT","OF","YOUR","BY","HIS","THEIR","ITS","AM","ARE","BE","BEEN","BEING","CAN","COULD","DO","DONE","DOES","HAD","HAS","HAVE","MAY","MIGHT","MUST","SHALL","SHOULD","WAS","WERE","WILL","WOULD"].each do |word|
      # at beginning
      if @text_output[0..(word.size)] == word + " "
        @text_output = @text_output[(word.size)..-1]
      end
      # in middle
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(" " + word + " "," ")
      # at end
      punctuation_marks.each do |punctuation|
        @text_output = @text_output.gsub(" " + word + punctuation,punctuation)
      end
    end

    # hard substitution anywhere it's found
    ["'S ","","\""].each do |word|
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(word,"")
    end

    # substitute at end of word
    # [["",""]].each do |word|
    #   @text_output = @text_output.gsub(word[0] + " ",word[1] + " ")
    # end

    # substitute at beginning of word
    [["AND",","]].each do |word|
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(" " + word[0] + " ",word[1] + " ")
    end

    # substituted B for A; must follow the substitution for "AND"
    #["I’M","ME"]
    [["US","ALL"],["THEY","ALL"],["I","ME"],["I'M","ME"],["FOR","NEED"],["TO","FOR"],["LIKES","LIKE"],["HER","OWN"],["DID","DONE"],[".,",","],["GOING","GO"]].each do |word|
      # at beginning
      if @text_output[0..(word.size-1)] == word
        @text_output = word[1] + " " + @text_output[0..(word.size-1)]
      end
      # in middle
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(" " + word[0] + " "," " + word[1] + " ")
      # at end
      punctuation_marks.each do |punctuation|
        @text_output = @text_output.gsub(" " + word[0] + punctuation," " + word[1] + punctuation)
      end
    end

    # substitute at end of word + S
    ["B","C","D","F","G","H","J","K","L","M","N","P","Q","R","S","T","V","W","X","Y","Z"].each do |letter|
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub("THING","replacecode1")
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub("SS","replacecode2")
      punctuation_marks.each do |punctuation|
        @text_output = @text_output.gsub(letter + "ING" + punctuation,letter + "ED" + punctuation)
        @text_output = @text_output.gsub(letter + "ED" + punctuation,letter + "ING" + punctuation)
        @text_output = @text_output.gsub(letter + "S" + punctuation,letter + punctuation)
      end
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub("replacecode2","SS")
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub("replacecode1","THING")
    end

    # add some classic FAKE GRIMLOCK phrases in there somewhere
    if @text_output.size > 100
      @text_output = @text_output[0..99] + @text_output[100..-1].sub(". ",". OR ELSE. ")
    elsif @text_output.size > 200
      @text_output = @text_output[0..199] + @text_output[200..-1].sub(". ",". AWESOME. ")
    elsif @text_output.size > 300
      @text_output = @text_output[0..299] + @text_output[300..-1].sub(". ",". LOOK AROUND- IT ALREADY HAPPENED. ")
    elsif @text_output.size > 400
      @text_output = @text_output[0..399] + @text_output[400..-1].sub(". ",". BECAUSE AWESOME. ")
    elsif @text_output.size > 500
      @text_output = @text_output[0..499] + @text_output[500..-1].sub(". ",". COFFEE, BEER, BACON, HUMANS. ")
    end

    # # change contractions
    # ["WON\’T","CAN\’T","DON\’T","MUSTN\’T","HAVEN\’T"].each do |contraction|
    #   @text_output = @text_output.gsub(contraction,"NOT")
    # end
    # #I'd, We'd, WE'll

    # remove duplicate words
    ["OWN",","].each do |word|
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(word + " " + word, word)
    end

    # remove "I" at beginning of text
    @text_output = "ME " + @text_output[2..-1] if @text_output[0..1] == "I "

    # remove duplicate characters
    [","].each do |character|
      @text_output = @text_output.gsub(character + character, character)
    end
  end

  respond_to do |format|
    format.html
    format.js
  end
end