Skip to content

Instantly share code, notes, and snippets.

Show Gist options
  • Star 0 You must be signed in to star a gist
  • Fork 0 You must be signed in to fork a gist
  • Save MartinThoma/180fedda43892ac96cba14a57db08243 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
Save MartinThoma/180fedda43892ac96cba14a57db08243 to your computer and use it in GitHub Desktop.
[WP] You stood there, looking at your friend, faceplaming "Let me get this straight, you're dating a Goddess, an actual 'divine powers, older than civilization' Goddess and you ....CHEATED ON HER!?!??" Your friend has a desperate look in their eyes "Can you help me or not?"
As I stood there in disbelief, I couldn't help but feel a mix of amusement and
concern. My friend, Josh, had managed to get himself into the most absurdly
dangerous and comical situation imaginable. He had somehow managed to win the
heart of Lilaia, the enchanting Goddess of Balance and Harmony. Her powers were
legendary, with the ability to restore equilibrium to any situation, whether it
was calming the fiercest storms or soothing the angriest of hearts. Legend had
it that she had once single-handedly quelled a war between two ancient
civilizations, restoring peace and ushering in a golden age of prosperity. And
now, Josh had cheated on her with a mortal woman.
Now he was begging me for help, as if I had any expertise in dealing with the
wrath of divine beings.
"Okay, let's think this through," I said, trying to suppress a laugh. "First
things first, how did you even meet a Goddess?"
Josh hesitated before answering. "You remember that ancient artifact exhibit at
the museum? It turns out that one of the relics was actually a gateway to the
realm of the Gods. I was admiring it when I accidentally sneezed, and that's
when Lilaia appeared. Apparently, sneezing was the secret activation method.
Who would've thought?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. "Well, what do you know
about Lilaia? What is she the Goddess of?"
"She's the Goddess of Balance and Harmony," Josh replied, his voice shaking.
"And now she's furious. I was so stupid! How could I have been so careless?
It's not every day you date a divine being with such incredible powers!"
I sighed, pondering the severity of the situation. A vengeful Goddess of
Balance and Harmony sounded like a recipe for chaos. It was clear that we
needed to find a way to appease Lilaia before her wrath could throw the world
off balance.
"Alright, let's do some research," I said, pulling out my phone. "Maybe we can
find a way to calm her down or win back her favor."
As we browsed the internet together, we stumbled upon an obscure blog dedicated
to ancient deities and their customs. The moment we opened the page, we felt a
sudden chill in the air, as if Lilaia's presence was already with us. We began
to read the blog, searching for any information that could help us appease the
furious goddess.
"Hey, look at this," I said, pointing to a passage on my phone. "It says here
there's an ancient ritual meant to appease Lilaia and restore balance. It
involves gathering rare ingredients and performing a delicate dance."
Josh squinted at my screen and then glanced back at his phone. "That's strange.
On my screen, it says we need to wear ridiculous outfits that resemble ancient
ceremonial garb while doing the dance."
We exchanged puzzled glances but decided to continue gathering information on
the ritual. Little did we know that Lilaia's prank was just beginning to
unfold. Following the instructions, we set out to find the rare ingredients
mentioned in the ever-changing text. As we wandered through a bustling market,
searching for a particular herb, Josh suddenly found himself sneezing
uncontrollably, causing a nearby vendor's stack of oranges to topple over. As
he tried to help pick them up, he tripped on a loose shoelace, creating an even
bigger mess.
Embarrassed and covered in orange pulp, Josh shook his head. "I can't believe
this is happening. It's like she's toying with us."
As we continued our search for the ingredients, it became apparent that Lilaia
was indeed having fun at our expense. Our quest took us to a remote forest,
where we needed to find a rare flower that only bloomed under the light of a
full moon. As we carefully navigated the dark, tangled undergrowth, a sudden
gust of wind sent us both tumbling into a patch of bushes covered in brambles.
We emerged, scratched and bruised, only to realize we had landed right next to
the flower we were seeking.
Laughing despite the pain, I said, "I can't tell if she's trying to help us or
make our lives miserable."
We finally managed to gather all the ingredients for the ritual, along with the
ridiculous outfits that we hoped would appease Lilaia. As we prepared to
perform the ritual, we couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation. Would
this actually work, or was it just another elaborate prank by the goddess?
We constructed the sacred altar in a secluded park under the cover of night,
careful not to draw attention to ourselves. Dressed in our outrageous outfits,
which included feathers, beads, and what seemed like an excessive amount of
tassels, we began the ritual. We lit the incense and arranged the ingredients,
then performed the intricate dance as the moon cast its silvery glow over us.
As we swayed and twirled to the rhythm of the ritual, we couldn't help but feel
a little ridiculous. However, our determination to make amends with Lilaia
drove us to continue. Just as we reached the climax of the dance, a brilliant
flash of light illuminated the park, and there she was – Lilaia, the Goddess of
Balance and Harmony, standing before us with an amused smile on her lips.
"I must say," she began, her voice like a gentle breeze, "you two have provided
me with quite the entertainment. Your perseverance and willingness to make a
fool of yourselves have convinced me that you truly are sorry for your
actions."
Josh and I exchanged glances of relief and disbelief, our faces flushed with
both exhaustion and embarrassment.
"Now," Lilaia continued, "I shall restore balance to your lives, but let this
be a lesson to you, Josh. Never underestimate the power of humor,
determination, and a sneeze that can summon a goddess."
Sign up for free to join this conversation on GitHub. Already have an account? Sign in to comment