rp_drinking_game.txt

Sen. Rand Paul (KY)...as in the one who’s a libertarian. Drink every time he gets fired up and calls himself a “real conservative.”

Former Gov. Mike Huckabee (AR)...as in the former pastor who’s really down with G-O-D. Drink when he mentions his support for a Kentucky clerk who refused to issue same-sex marriage licenses.

Sen. Marco Rubio (FL)...as in the one with the hair. Who many think will end up with a VP name tag. Drink when he talks about immigration or his Cuban-American background.

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX)...as in the one who likes Tea Parties. Drink every time he mentions the words “defund” and “Planned Parenthood” in the same sentence.

Dr. Ben Carson...as in the one who separated conjoined twins. And the only one who’s pulling numbers like The Donald. Drink every time Carson mentions how his lack of political experience sets him apart.

Donald Trump...as in the quiet one. We kid. Drink whenever he says ‘huuuuugeeee.’  Or offends someone. Drink responsibly.

Former Gov. Jeb Bush (FL)...as in the one who’s just Jeb! He was supposed to be the runaway frontrunner by now, but then along came The Donald. So drink when he attacks his biggest competition: Trump.

Gov. Scott Walker (WI)...as in the one who’s gone head-to-head with unions in his state. Drink when he calls himself a “fighter.”

Carly Fiorina...as in the newbie. She was at the JV debate last time. Drink when she talks about her business background. Then drink again when someone reminds her of job cuts at HP.

Gov. John Kasich (OH)...as in the one who made everyone go ‘didn’t see that coming’ in the first debate. Drink when he says the word “moderate.”

Gov. Chris Christie (NJ)...as in the one who loves Rand Paul. On Opposite Day. Drink when he says he’ll “tell it like it is.”