rngls.cs

using System;
using System.IO;

static class RngLs
{
    static void Main()
    {
        const string PREFIXES = " kmgtpezy"; // karl marx gave the proletariat eleven zeppelins, yo

        var files = new DirectoryInfo(Environment.CurrentDirectory).GetFiles();
        var rng = new Random();
        
        foreach (var file in files)
        {
            double size = file.Length;
            if (rng.NextBool()) size *= 8; // bits or bytes? who knows!

            // randomly select binary or decimal scaling
            // not featured: kelly-bootle units, drivermaker's kilobytes, baker's kilobytes, or 1.44 mb floppy disks
            double scaleFactor = rng.NextBool() ? 1000 : 1024;
            
            int prefix = 0;
            while (size >= scaleFactor * 1.5)
            {
                size /= scaleFactor;
                prefix++;
            }

            // we'll just naievely assume that a file will never be 1.5 yb in size
            // so this code probably won't work in a couple decades once moore's law makes average storage space
            // so obscenely big that current SI cannot adequately describe it and wirth's law makes the average
            // 20 second video about 3 yb big.
            // what does "yb" mean here? who cares!
            
            Console.Out.WriteLine($"{size,6:###0.0} {PREFIXES[prefix]}b - {file.Name}");
        }
    }

    static bool NextBool(this Random rng) => rng.NextDouble() >= 0.5;
}

yo xkcd shoutout