DrilQuotes.txt

its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs<br>but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town
Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800<br>Candles $3,600 Utility $150<br>someone who is good at the economy please<br>help me budget this. my family is dying
so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a<br>huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying<br>completely dead on the pavement
"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i<br>overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of<br>July into the 4th of Shit
if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are<br>automatically drafted into the skeleton war
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT<br>THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND<br>WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
did they find any water on mars yet. what about<br>catboys
blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you<br> are free of sin
my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get<br>your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds<br>and they all gotta eat
getting brain damage from pissing my self off
go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me.<br>it only makes my opinions Worse
drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a<br>lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to<br>say if its bad or not,
Buffalo wild wing gets $0 tip for serving "Bones" to me<br>in chicken, if i had wanted to eat bones i would take<br>my Ass to the grave yard
mean while, while you were "Gaming ",<br>i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall<br>and cried into a shaman's arms
( me after seeing two guys in any context whatsoever)<br>Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers
just found out about Object Permanence... why didnt<br>any one tell me about this shit
the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke:<br>"theres actually zero difference between good & bad<br>things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"
the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i<br>oot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers<br>try to tell me that im dying
im afraid i must say that i do not find the mysteries<br>featured on "scooby-doo" challenging enough .
"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i<br>slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house.<br>show yourself, coward. i will never log off
THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and<br>everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes<br>you rightfully upset.<br>ME: I agree
it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the<br>celebs are at it again
age 0 (baby): I want my Dada .<br>age 25 (Millennial): I want my Data<br>Do you see how fucked this is?
Politic's is back baby. It's good again.<br>Awoouu (wolf Howl)
the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask<br>& im wearing the joker makeup underneath it.<br>everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
i regret to inform you, that by resorting to<br>Swear language, you have forfeit this debate.<br>Farewell my bitch
JACKING OFF and committing FRAUD
peoplr would rather see macDonald's, than macbeth. and<br>that's why all of this is going on
ive never heard of this "europe" but it sounds like a big<br>bunch of shit to me
Clean Ass , Clean Mind
THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE<br>JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING<br>THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON<br>BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED
issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not,<br>under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"
ah, So u persecute Jared Fogle just because he has<br>different beliefs? Do Tell.<br>(girls get mad at me) Sorry.<br>Im sorry. Im trying to remove it
turning a big dial taht says "Racism" on it and<br>constantly looking back at the audience for approval<br>like a contestant on the price is right
"if theres a spicy brown mustard, why not a spicy<br>brown ketchup?" The wise man smiled. "my friend, the<br>condiment you seek is Barbecue Sauce"
it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win<br>The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting<br>six numbers and saying them out loud
i go outside for the rfirst time in 7 years and a biplane<br>immediately shoots a chemtrail at my dick and makes it<br>2 inches shorter. typical
hello. im calling to report a misprint at the shirt factory.<br>ordered 700 "shit man" tshirts<br>but they all say "shirt man".<br>no i will NOT hold
neo pets cinematic universe
i just need to say, to anyone reading this.. You are<br>Important, You are loved, and You belong in this world,<br>if you have over 5000 followers
Thinking about getting very pissed off on the computer<br>today
"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and<br>ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco
another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum.<br>everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag.<br>buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
Welcome to the citadel of eternal wisdom.<br>Behold, this crystal contains the sum of all human<br>knowledge -- Except Rap And Country
see this watch? i got it by Crying.<br>my car? crying. my beautiful wife?<br>Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying.<br>now get the fuck out of my office
oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for<br>my sick uncle... *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK<br>YOU DEAD IN THE EYE*<br>who's a Model by the way,
awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp<br>on a year that has been extremely bad thus far
joke's on you; i actually love being body slammed by<br>one dozen perfect wrestlers.<br>and my mouth isn't filled with bloodm, it's victory wine
koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog,<br>wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers.<br>No more. i will suplex that beast,
DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being<br>The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you<br>must stop posting with honor<br>ME: No,
the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon.<br>second only to the "GUN"
user named " beavis_sinatra " has been terrorizing me<br>since 2004, by sending me pictures of cups that are<br>too close to the edge of the table
ME: there is a new type of beer called "Wine"<br>shirtless guy witht 104 followers: Shut the fuck up<br>ME: Yes sir
im afraid you do not grasp the enormity of who it is<br>you are dealing with. (removes diaper,. revealing two<br>sub-diapers )<br>Shall we continue..
1st grade: Mastered<br>2nd Grade: MAstered.<br>3rd Grade: Mastered.<br>4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you<br>5th Grade:This ones hard
i refuse to consume any product that has been created<br>by, or is claimed to have been created by, the<br>(((Keebler Elves)))
reading a 900 page book on Dry Rubs and<br>immediately forgetting all of it and just dumping a shit<br>load of cocoa pebbles on my ribs 
if you "clap back" someone with a PhD on here, you<br>should be allowed to have their PhD. Its just common<br>sense people. Oh that's tea
CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot!<br>SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke!<br>ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!
theres a popular nursery rhyme in which the singer<br>claims to be a teapot. this, for many children, is their<br>first experience with "Trolling"
thinking about a "Cock Ring" for the neck that<br>strangles all the blood into your brain and gives you<br>what is essentially a mental erection
you call this shit rotisserie chicken?<br>I bet this shit hasnt even rotated 1 time in<br>its entire life.
(suddenly becoming very somber) no Woman should<br>have to pay over $10 for a Brassiere.
i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass<br>caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of<br>weak points
i would take so many bribes if i was a judge.<br>half my shit would be bribes. take bribes from the criminals until<br>theyre too poor to do crime
im not going to post about taking shits<br>or shitting anymore . i Condemn all of my previous posts about<br>shitting and asses
i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take<br>the knee at them in protest
Im the only man here who injects himself with a CIA<br>Grade Truth Serum before each and every post i<br>make. Remember only that
playing the worlds most normal sized violin
every generation deserves at least 5 movies named<br>"Spider Man 2"
how about instead of drop the ball on new years we<br>drop the damn gas prices for onve
love when i lose aobut 100 followers immediately after<br>making a beautiful post. the weak shriveling up into<br>dust. Thats called darwin