I'se A Muggin' (Part 2)

muggin.js

/*
I really wanted my band to do this Mezz Mezzrow song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEQ6v0pWUcg) but nobody wanted to learn the sequence. Now they have no excuse.
*/

var _ = require('underscore');

// Folks, we're gonna do some muggin' with numbers. "Well explain it to me, man!"
var lessThanSeventy = function(number) {
	if (number === 7) {
		return 'uh';
	}
	if (number === 10) {
		return 'woof';
	}
	if (number % 7 === 0 || number.toString().indexOf('7') !== -1) {
		return 'uh uh';
	}
	if (number % 10 === 0) {
		return 'woof woof'
	}
	return number;
};
var greaterThanSeventy = function(number) {
	var split = number.toString().split('');
	return 'uh ' + lessThanSeventy(parseInt(split[1], 10));
};

// "Alright boys, here we go!"
var lyrics = _(_.range(1, 81)).chain()
	.map(function(number) {
		if (number === 80) {
			return 'woof woof';
		}
		return number > 70 ? greaterThanSeventy(number) : lessThanSeventy(number);
	})
	.reduce(function(song, number, index) {
		var joined = song + number;
		if (index < 4) {
			return joined + (index === 3 ? '\n' : ', ');
		}
		if (index < 12) {
			return joined + (index % 2 !== 0 ? '\n' : ', ');
		}
		return joined + '\n';
	}, '')
	.value();

// "But Jeremy! You should have had that last reduce put out an array of arrays so you could do this all in the Underscore chain!"
// Yup. But I wrote this while waiting in line for the 3D printer at the library, and I'm probably not going to change it now. Unless I do.
var lines = _(lyrics.split('\n')).reduce(function(song, line, index) {
  // Maybe the first line should actually be broken up, but I think it's fine to leave as is
	if (index === 0 || index % 2 === 0) {
		return song + line + '\n';
	}
	return song + line + '\t';
}, '');

// *Clears throat, does best Mezz Mezzrow impression*
console.log(lines);

/*
1, 2, 3, 4
5, 6    uh, 8
9, woof 11, 12
13      uh uh
15      16
uh uh   18
19      woof woof
uh uh   22
23      24
25      26
uh uh   uh uh
29      woof woof
31      32
33      34
uh uh   36
uh uh   38
39      woof woof
41      uh uh
43      44
45      46
uh uh   48
uh uh   woof woof
51      52
53      54
55      uh uh
uh uh   58
59      woof woof
61      62
uh uh   64
65      66
uh uh   68
69      uh uh
uh 1    uh 2
uh 3    uh 4
uh 5    uh 6
uh uh   uh 8
uh 9    woof woof
*/

I think coding interviews should use MezzMezzrow instead of FizzBuzz