Not sure how "more code" helps, Joel, but...

gistfile1.txt

$fred = "Joe";
$fred::myName(); // makes a static call to Joe::myname();
class Sam
{
  public $fred = "Joe";

  function whoAreYou()
  {
    $this->fred::myName();  // Erors out with unexpected :: error
  }
}
class George
{
  public $fred = "Joe";

  function whoAreYou()
  {
    $fred = $this->fred;
    $fred::name();  //  calls Joe::name() successfully
  }
}

Why does George's syntax work but not Sam's? What do I do to Sam's to make it work?

It looks so ugly, and seems so inconsistent, but then, this is PHP we're talking about.